09x17 - Hi-Yo Fonzie, Away!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learnin'
how, come on a safari with me,

come on a safari with me.

There you go, Pots.

Al, these are waffles.

I know they're waffles, I'm not new in
this business, you know.

I ordered a cheeseburger.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, Pots, I got a lot of things on my mind.

The mind?

Hey, that's my area, Al, psychology.

Hey, listen, what's your problem, huh?

Oedipus complex?

Delusions of grandeur?

Sexual tension?

No, no, no, none of that stuff.

I'm just trying to find out what I should
get Fonzie for his birthday.

You know?

What was that last thing you said?

No, never mind, never mind.

I don't know what to get Fonzie either.

I know.

I gotta think of a clever way to make him tell
me what he wants for his birthday, you know?

You gonna eat those?

I don't think so.

Oh, fine.

Now I gotta wait for someone else to order them.

It would make no sense.

Hi, Potsie.

Hi, Cynthia.

Have you seen Fonzie?

Many times.

I meant today.

Oh, no, not today.

Well, if you see him, would you please tell him that
I've got to give a flute lesson, but I'll call him later?

Sure.

How are you, sweetheart?

Hey, Fonzie, Fonzie.

Listen, glad I caught you.

Yeah.

Cynthia told me to tell you that she has to
give a flute lesson and she'll call you later.

Thanks, Potsie.

Anytime.

You know, if you put your head up to his
ear, you can hear the wind blow.

Want to sit down?

Sure.

I got something for you.

What?

Two tickets.

For the concert tonight.

Beethoven is playing.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Yeah.

Although I think you mean that they're playing Beethoven.

Beethoven's dead.

They should cancel the concert.

Hey, I'm just kidding.

I know that Beethoven is dead.

I read the papers.

Thank you.

You know, I hear they're doing a fantastic
variation on his night.

Oh, yeah?

I got a variation for you.

You finished, Fonz?

I got a call for you.

All right.

You know, I was wondering, Mother's Day is
coming up, and I wanted to get a nice

present for my mother, and I'd like your advice.

Oh, fire away.

Well, I got down to three choices right now.

Tell me what you think is the best, okay?

Yeah.

All right.

Are you talking your mother here?

Oh, of course.

Hey, Fonz.

Yeah?

Oh, buddy boy.

What?

Anything you'd get for my birthday, I'm going to love you.

He can see right through me.

I know what I'm going to get you.

I know what I'm going to get her.

I got it.

You know what?

It's true.

My birthday's coming up, and I would love
to share it with you.

I'd love that, too.

That would be very nice.

Now, the thing of it is, with all my other
girls, you're going to have to get there

very early, because I'd like you to sit next to me.

If you're inviting other girls to your party?

Yeah, it's tradition.

I do that every year.

Oh, how lovely.

Just out of curiosity, exactly how many girls, Fonz?

Good question.

Good question, because this year,
I want to make it very special.

I narrowed it right down to 40.



Yeah.

Well, listen, the girls that don't get invited, they come
to the gym, you know, and I give them a little speech.

They carry me out on their shoulders, you know.

You don't have to come to that.

I don't have to come to that.

I think I'll pass on the party, Fonz.

Look, I know that you see other girls.

Yeah.

And I'm not thrilled about it, but apparently
that's something that you find a need to do.

Maybe those 40 other girls don't mind
sitting around together at your party, but I do.

I have more respect for myself than that.

Yeah, but Cynthia, you get your own hat and horn.

I'm sorry, Fonz.

When you're mature enough to make a
commitment to just one woman, let me know.

Give me a call, because I would really be interested.

When I am mature enough, hey, do you know how mature I am?

I have been shaking since I was 12.

Nice, nice.

Fonz, I just saw Cynthia.

Where's Cynthia?

I just invited her to my bidet bash, right?

Yeah.

I said she could sit right next to me and a cake.

She said, oh, I would love to.

And I told her about my other girls and everything.

She went weirdo, you know, on me, and she
said, when you're mature enough, give me a call.

You believe that?

Yeah.

I don't believe you.

You meant no, but it came out yeah, right?

No, Fonz, I meant yes.

It does happen.

You know, people do pair off.

Besides, you can't blame a woman for
wanting to be your one true love.

I mean, to put it that way, but my one girl on my birthday.

All right, let's look at it this way then, huh?

All right.

All right, say that you like cornflakes.

No, I don't like cornflakes.

Just say that you do.

Right.

Now, you're not gonna have cornflakes every day.

You're gonna go out and get your variety pack.

You're gonna have your sugar pops, your raisin,
your raisin bran, you're gonna have your poop loops.

Fonz, Fonz, women are not cereal.

I know that, Roger.

I know that.

I was only making an analogy.

An analogy?

Yeah, a metaphor.

A metaphor?

Yeah.

Where did you learn that word?

From Cynthia.

Very smart, very smart.

You know, I'm taking her to a concert tonight.

She's gonna see Beethoven.

He's dead, you know.

Death, too.

Yeah, but it doesn't much matter anymore.

How about mudflaps?

Or a grease g*n?

Oh, he's got one of those.

I think big.

We've got to top the motorcycle that we got him last year.

Right.

We got to think of something that he
wouldn't buy for himself.

A brassiere.

Does she have to be here?

Well, we're back.

We've got the cutest little clothes.

For the baby.

Oh, I can see.

Are these precious?

Now, Mom, you're going to wear them out
before the baby gets a chance to use them.

No, I can't wait.

I'm going to go upstairs and try on these new clothes.

I don't think they're going to fit you.

What's that?

Oh, I got the cutest plant for the bedroom.

He's bringing it in.

All right.

Go with your mother to buy a cute plant
and I come home with Sherwood Forest.

No, it's not here, Howard.

Take it upstairs.

Why don't we just water it and let it grow upstairs?

I'll take it up in a few minutes.

Well, g*ng, what are you up to?

Well, trying to figure out what to get
Fonzie for his birthday, Mr. C.

Yeah.

Have you guys gotten anything for him?

No, I haven't.

Marion, have we gotten anything for Fonzie's birthday?

Oh, dear, I forgot.

We could give him a nice plant.

Oh.

Hey!

What do you know?

The county fair just opened this Sunday, Marion.

We got a nice plant and we gotta go again this year.

Oh, I don't know, Howard.

Every time you go, you act just like a little kid.

I never act like a kid.

Oh, goody, the Lone Ranger's gonna be there.

What?

Not this time.

That's it.

What?

That's the present, the Lone Ranger.

Oh, come on, that's been Fonzie's idol
since he was a little kid.

That's right.

Oh, man, if we can get the Lone Ranger to show up
at Fonzie's party, that'd be something he'd never forget.

Chachi, that's perfect.

Okay, now, all we have to do is go down to
the fair and talk to the Lone Ranger.

Look, we can all go.

We can just make a whole day of it.

Yeah, great, but listen, not one more to Fonzie, okay?

Right.

I want this to be a surprise.

Okay.

Oh, look, the evening paper.

Hey, everybody.

Hi, Mrs. Fonzie.

All right, no pressure, no pressure, but
three more shopping days till my birthday.

Uh-oh.

We know something you don't know.

What?

We're giving you the best birthday present you'll ever get.

Let that girl go.

Get that girl up here.

I'm going to tell you what it is,
because it's really great.

I'll see you later.

It's better, it's better than my motorcycle.

Yeah, better than my motorcycle.

Yeah, come on, tell them.

Call me when they let you go.

Call me, call me.

Better than my motorcycle.

Happy birthday to me.

And I got a tour to you.

What about, Franz?

Well, about sowing my wild oats.

Oh, my.

Well, have a nice time.

Sowing your wild oats?

Mr. C, now look, you know me a long time, right?

Mm-hmm.

Now, maybe you haven't noticed, but I
date, like, quite a few ladies, you know?

Oh, you're the guy.

Yeah.

So, I was thinking that, uh, I had a lot of fun.

And maybe it's time that I just,
uh, zzzz, start to, uh, zzzz.

Settle down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I must say, this is a side of you
I've never seen before.

It shocks me, too.

Mm.

Never thought I'd live to see this day.

Hey, have you picked out some girl?

Could be.

Let me ask you a question.

When was the first time, I mean, how old were you when
you started to go steady with Mrs. C, gave her your ring?

I couldn't afford a ring.

We just shook hands.

We started going steady in high school and
got married when I was 21.



Man to man, buddy to buddy, person to person, huh?

Any time that you feel that maybe,
like, you didn't do the right thing?

Howard, get up here!

The baby just went nice and all.

It's your turn to change him!

Yes, plenty of time.

Well, we, uh, just talked to Low Range's manager.

You want to know what he said?

Yeah, it's the only way we'll get to see him
is at a distance with the rest of the fairgoers.

Can you believe that?

You know, he talked to us just like we were nobodies.

We are.

Oh, yeah.

Well, maybe we can catch him after the performance.

No, no, we thought of that, too, but he's booked
soft for two days and they release for California.

So much for Fonzie meeting his idol.

Is Jane Russell in town?

He likes her, too.

Step right up here, buckaroos.

Only costs a quarter.

Now, any of you who can stay on Old Diablo for the full
ride can win yourself a free dinner with the Lone Ranger.

Yep, that's right, the genuine masked man himself.

Now, who'll step up here and give it a whirl?

Did you hear that?

He's offering a chance to have dinner with the Lone Ranger.

And all you gotta do is ride that mechanical bull.

Huh?

I could do that.

Yeah, but, Chach, you're a city boy.

I know that, but the bull does it.

Oh, be careful.

Here you go.

All right, now, go right in there as well.

Okay, folks, we got us a rider here.

What's your name, son?

Chachi.

You're kidding.

Well, what's your name?

Elmo.

Oh, that's a good name.

I sure hope he makes it.

Let's help Chachi out here.

Chachi.

Come on, Chach!

You're going fine, Chach.

Say hi.

Well,

that's a crime shame.

Now, who'll be next?

Now, who'll get up here and give it a whirl?

What do you say?

Who's going to win that free dinner with a lone ranger?

Oh, Chachi did very well.

Well, not well enough.

Well, you did your best.

No, he didn't quite do his best.

I think I'll try it.

I'm going to ride Diablo.

Oh, Howard, Pat.

Oh, oh, just feel guilty for yourself this year.

If Chachi can ride it, so can I.

Holy.

Dad, you can hurt yourself, and there's a
lot more of you to hurt.

No offense.

For Fonzie, it's worth it.

Dad.

You know, Mr. Seagate, I really don't
think it's such a good idea.

Howard, now stop this foolishness right now.

Now, Marion, I have made up my mind.

Dex, here you are.

I'm next.

Good luck.

Be careful, Dad.

Okay, folks, we got ourselves another cow puncher here now.

What's your name, partner?

Duke Cunningham.

Let's hear it for the Duke Cunningham.

What do you say?

Stand back there, folks.

This could get messy.

What a noose.

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Okay, all right, all right.

Get up.

Shane, come back, Shane.

Mr. C, I'm proud of you.

You gave it your best shot.

I guess Fonzie made me a Lone Ranger.

It wasn't meant to be.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What?

Let me try it.

He's checked out, huh?

Okay, thank you.

Well, Lone Ranger is on his way to the airport.

He's flying to California tonight.

I don't know what else to do.

Well, I guess the only thing to do now is just tell Fonzie.

We did the best we could, but there'll be
no special present.

Oh, no.

The birthday boy is here.

How are you?

Who wants to be the first to kiss the birthday boy?

Fonzie, I talked to you about something.

Me first.

I just want to tell you, this is going to be one of
the most important and biggest nights of my life.

Let's wait tonight.

I'm not going to have a birthday bash.

I repeat, no birthday bash.

Why?

Why?

Because I am going to spend my birthday
with Cynthia and Cynthia alone.

Oh.

Well, Cynthia's a very lucky girl.

Yes, she is, and so am I, you know,
because this might be the beginning of

something that is the beginning of something, you know.

Fonz, it's about your birthday present.

No, no, no, no.

It's all right.

Special night, special girl, special present, huh?

Whoa.

Okay, wait.

You know what?

I mean, here's a thought.

There might be a Mrs. Fonzarelli and a lot
of little Fonzarellis, but don't you worry, Mr.

C.

If I got 8, 10, 15 kids, we're all going to live
above the garage, because I like that place.

Did you hear what he said?

Special present, special girl?

Oh, I hope he won't be too disappointed.

Me too.

Well, there still might be a way.

Howard, where are you going?

I am going to the airport and head off the
Lone Ranger at the pass.

Oh, Howard, his two ladies are already on the plane.

He'll never get there in time.

Maybe, Marion, but Fonzie would do the
same thing in this situation that I'm going to do.

Now, he's been too good a friend to us,
and I am not going to let him down.

Oh, he's a tough little guy.

Happy birthday, Fonz!

Here it is.

Happy birthday!

Here it is.

Fonz, we couldn't let your birthday go by
without getting you something special.

So, we all got you this.

Yeah.

I'm all a-tingle.

All right.

I don't know what it is.

Oh, what could it be?

Oh, this is great.

I don't know.

Here it goes.

This is going to be something.

Here we are.

I know it.

I know it.

This is going to be something.

All right.

It's a pair of pants.

Hand-stitched.

Hand-stitched pair of pants.

Oh, we thought they'd go with your leather
jacket and your sports coat.

They do.

They do.

This is a very lovely pair of pants.

That's not all, Fonz.

I know it.

That's not all.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

All right.

You ready?

Yeah.

You're going to love this.

There it is.

Oh, there it is.

All right.

All right.

Here we go.

Oh, this is great.

Oh.

It's a belt.

Buckle has your initial on it.

Yes, it does.

Yes, it does.

They spelled it correctly.

A belt and a pair of pants.

You like them?

Great.

I love them.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, really.

Happy birthday.

Well, we'll get out of your way now, Fonz.

Happy birthday, Fonz.

Bye-bye.

Sorry, Fonz, but this wasn't exactly what
we had planned, but happy birthday anyway.

I love my belt.

I love my pants.

Plans, Tom?

It's a very nice belt.

Sure, last year they gave me a motorcycle.

You may not know it, Fonz, but you've
given me a very special gift tonight.

What did I give you?

You broke a tradition.

You spent a very important day of your
life with me, and only me.

Thank you.

You feel that way?

Yeah.

Cynthia, Cynthia.

Hold that pose.

Hold it.

Oh, Mr. C, hey, come on, yeah,
I'm trying to create it like a romantic.

Oh, that helps.

That helps.

Guys,

I already, I love my, my cancer belt,
you know, I mean, I don't say it.

I understand.

You've been wanting to meet me for a number of years.

I'd like to say it gives me great pleasure to
meet a man who has patterned his life after mine.

I'd like to say it gives me great pleasure to
meet a man who has patterned his life after mine.

Well, with all these loyal friends,
you must be a good-hearted man.

Well...

I'd like to leave you with something that can
stand as a symbol to our meeting and our friendship.

Mr.

Lone Ranger.

Where is that masked man?

Well, Arthur, I'm afraid he's left.

But I didn't get a chance to thank him.

Hey-oh!

Silver!

Away!

Hey-oh!

Hey-oh!

Hey-oh!

Last year... Gloria would say something like... Daddy!

And then Edith would chime in... Oh, I can't!

Next year...

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Hey, partner, I hope you don't think I forgot about you.

I was just waiting for the right moment.

I had a present.

Happy birthday.

See my silver b*llet?

Oh, yeah.

I love this.

I read that myself.

Yeah, I can tell.

I hope you don't have one just like it.

Al, trust me.

I don't.

This is great.

I love you.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

Nothing can hold me when I hold you.

Up next, the Brady Bunch.

Want to learn how to drive?

Just get an egg, a pylon, and a driving
instructor in his underwear.

Well, that's how the Bradys do it.

Stay tuned for episode 111, The Driver's
Seat, coming up fast on TV Land.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.