09x09 - The Nun's Story

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

I'm.

So excited.

It's the start of a brand new day.

The sun couldn't shine much brighter.

Cause everything is going our way.

Something good is growing.

Nothing could get us down.

We're rolling, we're not slowing.

Ever since you came around.

Looking good.

Feeling fine.

Knowing every day that the world is mine.

I got you.

I got you.

And you got me.

I can't think of any place I'd rather be.

I get chills all through me.

Every time I hear your name.

Baby, wrap your arms around me.

Cause you know I'm feeling the same.

Looking good.

Feeling fine.

Knowing every day that the world is mine.

I got you.

I got you.

And you got me.

I can't think of any place I'd rather be.

Everything is going our way.

Looking good.

Feeling fine.

Knowing every day that the world is mine.

I got you.

I got you.

And you got me.

I can't think of any place I'd rather be.

I'd rather be.

Joanie Cunningham.

Isn't she incredible, huh?

Time.

On the electric guitar.

Chachi Arcola.

Let's take a break, guys.

Come on, Jenny.

Looking good.

Feeling fine.

Knowing every day that the world is mine.

Maybe I missed something.

You know, the music is beautiful,
the kids are beautiful, life is beautiful.

Not so beautiful when you're doing a book, Sal.

Who's keeping those books, Mice?

I've got to risk my teeth.

I'll take over, partner.

Don't worry about it.

Besides, I'm good with figures.

Whoa.

I'd like you to meet one of your new
colleagues, Arthur Fonzarelli,

Auto Shop, Gloria McInerney, of American History.

American History, huh?



That's very good.

Thank you.

It's nice meeting you.

I pray for... Will you excuse me a moment?

Sure.

All right, hey, sit down.

Fill me in.

What's that?

She's new on the faculty.

I just got done showing her the basketball court.

Fun for her.

Yeah.

Did you ask her out?

You know, Fonz, I don't have to ask her out.

I don't have to ask out every girl I see.

You're absolutely right.

She turned you down, right?

Flat.

I don't understand.

I was charming, witty, jovial.

You know what she said to me when I asked her out?

She said, no, thank you.

She's very polite.

Yeah, but no is no.

If you're wondering if the field is clear,
I'm inviting you to take your best shot.

That's very generous of you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do you mind if I watch, though?

I need some pointers.

Well, I usually do this one-on-one,
you know, but if you want to take a look,

yeah, you can kind of blend into the woodwork.

Sure, right.

And if you like what you see, don't applaud.

You know, it embarrasses me.

Gloria, sit right down.

So, we're colleagues, right?

Of course, you want to get to know me better.

So, what do you say, Saturday night, dancing under
the moon, cheek to cheek, you and me, what do you say?

No.

Thank you.

Well, I, uh, I really should be going.

It was a pleasure to meet you, Arthur.

And thank you, Roger, for showing me around.

I'll see you both at school.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

She said, no, thank you.

She was polite.

Anybody see that?

No, Fonz.

Is everybody eating?

Everybody's eating.

It's never happened before.

Well, Fonz, it had to happen sometime.

Every streak has to come to an end.

Look at Lou Gehrig.

He played in 2,130 games consecutively, and then it ended.

Lou Gehrig died.

Well, that was a bad example.

The man is dead.

Fonz, you're getting crazy.

That's right, I'm getting crazy.

All right, so, she's married, right?

She's engaged.

Maybe an Indian.

Right.

That's why she didn't go out with me.

Oh, that poor girl.

When she finds out who she said no, thank you.

Let's go, girls.

Hey, there's my boy.

Come in.

See Uncle Fonz.

See Uncle Fonz.

How you doing?

Look at this, you know that?

First week, you look just like Daddy.

Second week, you look like Mommy.

Yeah, this week, you look like Alfred Hitchcock.

Oh, Fonz.

All babies look like Alfred Hitchcock.

Not me, I look like James Dean.

Do I love you?

Give him a big kiss.

Big kiss.

Give me a hug.

Big kiss.

Give me a kiss.

Huh?

Huh?

Yes.

Oh, my.

Listen, both of you, don't mention anything to
Arthur about what that girl did to him at Arnold's today.

He's probably very sensitive about it.

Mrs. C, I'm here to fix the bottle warmer.

Anything else while I'm here?

No.

Thank you.

Oh, Arthur.

I didn't mean to mention that.

No, thank you, business.

You just fix whatever you want to if it
makes you feel better.

Hold it.

Who told?

Uh, word has it that somebody was sitting
at the next table in Arnold's and told,

uh... Jenny Piccalo.

Who?

Jenny Piccalo.

Piccalo?

Right.

All right.

All right.

The mouth that ate... The mouth that ate Milwaukee.

Now, everybody's going to know my business, right?

Oh, no.

I think she just told us.

Daddy's home.

Hey, nice to see you.

Fonzie, I'm sorry about Gloria, but, you
know, most things can happen to anyone.

All right.

Who told you?

Oh, my barber told me.

Yeah, he heard it from Sam the butcher.

Harry the mailman told him.

Oh, this is great.

Yeah, the whole city knows my shame.

All right.

Hey, you give me less than 24 hours,
I'll straighten this out.

What are you going to do?

Hey, I'm going to turn my charm up to broil.

I mean, red hot, you know.

I'm going to take care of this thing.

This Gloria no thank you McInerney.

If you don't stand a chance.

Whoa.

Arthur, when I said you could bring me
home, I meant my home, not yours.

Hey, a home is a home.

I really should be here.

You know, you're right.

Let's go up to my place.

No, no, no, no, no.

My place would be even better.

You know, you're absolutely right.

No, Arthur, wait.

You don't understand.

There's something you don't know.

What I don't know?

You're a wonderful, respectable teacher type.

I brought you to a very respectable middle class home.

You know what they do in this home?

They picnic together.

They barbecue together.

They have Taffy pools, you know.

They're probably upstairs.

I'll get it.

Arthur, wait.

Hey, Cunningham's.

Come on down.

Arthur, really?

I should leave.

Hey, you know what?

I think if we look in here, we might find
a little surprise, huh?

What?

Oh.

Little elves probably left them for you, huh?

I hope the spelling is correct.

That's very sweet.

Yeah.

Look at this.

Look at this.

The Cunninghams left you a note, yeah.

It says Gloria.

You know what?

Arthur Fonzarelli is a fine, upstanding, and very cool guy.

He does it right here.

You're really something else.

You know, and so are you.

Look at this.

We're laughing.

You're laughing.

I'm laughing.

What does that mean?

It means we should dance the night away together.

Uh, no.

Thank you.

There you go again with that no thank you.

What, do you get paid for saying that?

Please, don't pressure me.

I'm not pressuring you.

It's just no thank you for this, no thank you for that.

You're not just saying no thank you to me.

You're saying no thank you to life.

You're getting a little worked up.

I'll just catch the bus.

Say no thank you to this.

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain,
telling me just what a fool I've been.

So I thought that, you know, like she was a shy girl
and she wanted the guy to make the aggressive move.

Well, apparently you were wrong.

I know that now.

I mean, why, why did she have to run out of there?

Why couldn't you just like slap my face or call a cop?

It was so humiliating.

Call her and find out.

No.

Why not?

Because Roger was talking to her.

That's enough.

You know, I made a woman scream once.

How'd you do that, Al?

I sat on her dog.

Roger.

You talked to her?

Yeah.

All right.

I mean, is she mad at me?

Does she hate me?

She doesn't hate you, Fonzie.

She don't hate me.

And there's a perfect explanation as to why she
got so upset and flustered when you kissed her.

Hey, that's my boy.

All right.

There's a perfect explanation.

All right.

Tell him.

She's a nun.

Hey, she's a nun.

That's it.

She's a nun?

She's a nun.

I kissed a nun.

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

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I kissed a nun.

I'm a nun kisser.

Fonz, you're not to blame.

You didn't know she was a nun.

None of us did.

I asked her out myself.

Imagine, if you will, gentlemen, what would
have happened if she didn't run out of that room.

What I might have done.

I should be sent to a leper colony.

That's not good either.

Lepers are nice people.

I just shouldn't be around people.

He seems to be in really bad shape.

What are you telling me?

You know, Chachi, you know what he told me?

What?

He said he never wanted to see another girl.

He's giving a pleasure.

Hey, Chachi.

Hey, Roger.

How are you?

Meet Cindy.

Isn't she cute?

Give me a kiss, Cindy.

Hi, Cindy.

Oh, I tell you, sit yourself down right there.

Yeah, we thought we'd come in for a bite to eat, you know,
go out to Inspiration Point, celebrate the sunset, you know.

Excuse us, Cindy.

Excuse us, Cindy, all right?

Isn't she lovely?

Fonz, what's the matter?

What's the chick?

Yeah, right.

Life goes on, you know what I mean?

Hey, Fonz, last time I talked to you,
you told me you were going to start

wearing those pajamas with the little feet built in.

Yeah, well, don't worry about it, you know what I mean?

I mean, so what?

So what?

Kiss the nun!

It's all right.

That's just spilt milk under a bridge,
you know what I mean?

This is great.

Don't touch me!

Sorry.

I gotta tell you something.

I gotta tell you something.

What's that?

We were really worried about you.

Don't worry about me.

Don't worry about me.

Fonz is back.

I'm back.

All right.

He's sitting.

I'll be right back.

Don't worry.

He seems to have bounced right back.

I thought he was going to bounce out of the building.

Chachi.

Chachi, how are you?

Fine.

How are you?

Yes.

Have you seen Fonzie?

Oh, yeah.

Al, you're going to go out on a date
dressed up like a priest?

That's really sick, Al.

Oh, Roger, this is Father Delvecchio,
Al's twin brother, the father.

Father, this is Roger Phillips.

Nice to meet you, Roger.

Nice to meet you.

There's two of you?

That's amazing.

Just think how amazed our mother was.

Al told me that he wanted me to see Fonzie.

He was having a little fun.

Problem.

Not anymore, Father.

He's feeling great.

Oh, thank heaven for that.

Yeah, he's in his office now.

He came in here with her.

Wow.

Well, I'll go ahead and say hello.

It's a shame to waste a house call.

See you, Father.

It's wonderful how Al seems to be doing very well.

We were so worried about him.

Did he ever tell you the story about how
he made a woman scream?

Yeah.

Yeah, Father, he did.

Yeah, poor little dog.

Hello, Fonzie.

Yeah.

Hey, Father, how you doing?

Hey, zippity-doo-dah, what a lovely day, huh?

Son, please, I know misery when I see it.

Life is not a bowl of cherries.

I can't go on with the charade.

Why don't you tell me what the problem is?

Perhaps I could help.

They didn't tell you what I did?

No, but whatever it is, believe me, I've heard a lot worse.

You can't shock me.

Come here.

Close it.

I kissed the nun.

What you meant was that there was this
little old nun, and you helped her with

her groceries, and she gave you a kiss on the cheek.

Young nun, no groceries on her lips.

Father, you know when a guy's got a lot of guilt, I
mean so much guilt it feels like an Oldsmobile on his back.

Well, you give him punishment, right?

You mean penance.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, Father, I need penance.

I mean, I mean rough and tough penance.

Give me plagues.

I want lice.

Give me boils.

Let it rain cows and pigs.

I mean, let them crush me into the earth like a little bug.

It hasn't rained farm animals in centuries.

Anyway, this is hardly the time and hardly the place.

Why don't you come down to the church,
come to the confessional?

We could talk.

You're a good father, Father.

I need it now.

I gotta suffer now.

I can't live with this.

I'll find it.

I gotta suffer.

Arthur, you're being too hard on yourself.

God will forgive you.

He kissed on John.

Oh, hi, Al.

I got no time, Howard.

Hey, everybody, I found Fonzie.

He's in worse shape than we thought.

Where is he?

You won't believe it.

Come.

On, you can dunk this dummy here.

Come on.

Dunk the dummy.

Here we go.

You can do it.

Throw that ball.

Throw that ball.

All right.

Here we go.

No, no, no.

Give it up.

Go to the Ferris wheel, will you?

I'll tell you something.

Somebody dunk the dummy here.

Somebody dunk the dummy, all right?

I'll buy you a car.

Hello, Fonzie.

Is that you?

Yes, it's me.

Oh, you're in your suit, too, huh?

I didn't know that nuns could enjoy carnival pleasures.

That's carnal pleasure.

Carnivals are okay.

Can you talk?

You want to talk?

I'm shocked you want to talk.

I mean, I thought you sure they removed your lips.

Gee, you can see the whole carnival from up here.

Oh, yeah.

See that?

There's the whip over there.

There's the carousel right over there.

See that?

Yeah.

And then there's the tunnel of love.

Don't look at the tunnel of love.

Listen, before you say anything, let me just tell you.

I swear on a long-ranged horse,
I did not know you were a nun.

I know that.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

The job to get shot out of a Cannon was taken.

Ron, you shouldn't punish yourself.

I shouldn't punish myself?

No.

It was as much my fault as it was yours.

Maybe even more so.

I should have just told you I was a nun.

And I shouldn't have gotten hysterical and
run off like that.

No, you had every right to do that.

You know, I forced myself on your nun lips.

Before that happened, I had some very serious
doubts about spending the rest of my life as a nun.

But then you kissed me, and I had no more doubts.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

No, no.

No, Fonzie, what I mean is...

Your kiss was...

Well, it was a very severe test of my commitment.

And I passed.

He used me as part of a test?

You passed.

I failed.

That's great.

What do you mean?

Well, even if you weren't a nun, you
said no, and I forced the issue, you know?

I mean, I promise you, I promise you, I have
never grabbed unless the grabbie was up for grabs.

I believe you.

I believe you.



Whoa.

Stop.

This one.

A couple papers, mails in a mailbox.

Yeah.

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Well, come on.

You can buy me some cotton candy.

Well, I got an hour left up here, you know.

Listen, I thought we had settled this.

You don't need to punish yourself anymore.

No, no, no, I made a deal with the guy,
you know, the owner, and I'd like to meet

my commitments, you know, and I would feel
better if I was dumped just once, you know, like a purge.

Hey, there's my man again.

All right, you can do it this time.

Here we go.

Go on, throw that ball.

Throw that ball.

You keep this up, you're going to play
dunk the old man, you know.

Hey, I really would like that cotton candy now.

May I?

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's no one can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, it can't be wrong.

Rock and roll.

Rock and roll.

And all we've lost.

This can't be wrong.

Next on The Brady Bunch, Jan fans unite.

It's the historic episode you've all been waiting for.

Jan finally triumphs over Marsha at
Haskell's Ice Cream Hut.

Stay tuned for episode 102, only on TV Land.

My happy days.