04x28 - The People's House

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons Starring Fred McMurray And
as Bub, William Frawley.

Bub, have you seen my sweater?

Look under the sofa.

Under the sofa?

You didn't expect to find it hanging up, did you?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I kicked it under here yesterday
when Sally dropped by.

Mike didn't want her to think we were messy.

When are you going to put this junk away?

Be careful.

This is my record player.

I'm putting in a new amplifier.

I see.

No wonder the fuses are always blowing out.

Well, yeah, I'll put it away tonight.

That'll be nice of you.

Where's my briefcase, Bub?

Over here on the floor.

Where else?

Don't wait dinner for me tonight, Bub.

I imagine I'll be late.

Okay.

It's the opening day of the aeronautical convention.

I'm on the welcoming committee in charge of smiling.

Well, don't forget to smile.

I won't.

See you later.

Adios.

Chip feels that's the perfect place for his rock art.

That's what he said.

Biggest problem was how to achieve long-term success.

Long-term reusability.

So I decided to use a lightweight m*ssile
case design powered by a solid core reactor.

Anyway, I've got the only nuclear washing
machine in the country.

One of these nights you'll go home and
find your laundry has gone into orbit.

Yeah, or my wife.

John, have you looked this afternoon?

There's some very interesting things.

No, no, I haven't.

Would you excuse me?

Yeah, sure.

How do you do?

I'm Steve Douglas.

Welcome to the committee.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Well, that's very kind of you,
Mr. Douglas, but I believe not.

I imagine you receive this literature
through the mail most of the time, eh?

But this schedule of the day's activities,
do you have one of these?

No.

Well, then you see, I can be of some help.

There have been some changes.

For instance, this simulated trip to Venus.

That goes at 10 O'clock instead of 9.30.

Venus?

Round trip, of course.

I should hope so.

Because if you do go, I'd suggest you take your ID card
because nobody's ever going to believe that you're an engineer.

Well, there's no reason why anyone should.

I'm not.

Oh.

I'm with the interior decorating
exhibition downstairs in the auditorium.

I'm women's editor of Home Decorator Magazine Incorporated.

Well.

I'm sorry.

I guess maybe I jumped to conclusions.

I guess it's because you're wearing the
same type name tags we're wearing.

Marta Robbins, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Mrs. Robbins?

Miss.

Well, now.

I'll tell you, I thought maybe I'd take
the trip to Venus at 10.

Would you like to go along?

Oh, I'm very sorry, but I'm going to be busy at 10.

Uh-huh.

I imagine you have some interesting exhibits downstairs.

Oh, yes, we do.

Well, maybe when I get back from my trip,
I'll drop down and take a look around.

Well, you do that.

And have a safe trip to Venus, Mr. Douglas.

Thank you.

See you later, Bub.

Where are you going?

I promised Sally I'd take her to that
interior decorators exhibition.

She wants to get an idea of the kind of
home we can't afford.

The way these guys drop clothes around
here, you'd think it was a striptease joint.

May I help you, sir?

Oh, no, thanks.

I was just browsing around.

This is a beautiful frame.

Yes, it's very pretty.

It is, indeed.

I'm Mr. Douglas.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Mike.

Sally.

Say, you're a little off course, aren't you?

Well, I was just k*lling a little time between lectures.

Oh, pretty.

What would you do with something like that
in a house like ours?

Well, I think it's very attractive, Mike.

I think it might look very nice in our house.

I think so, too, Mr. Douglas.

I like it.

Well, I'll think it over.

Thanks very much.

Yes, you're welcome.

Well, there are a lot of nice things to see, kids.

Look around.

Oh, so you're glad I didn't see you.

Bye.

Does your father always take such an
interest in your home, Mike?

Oh, yeah.

It's the first time I've ever seen him flip for a frame.

Bob, did you find my shirt?

Yesterday's or last week's?

This one.

Gosh, Bob, it's all wrinkled.

Well, usually when I find a shirt all
wadded up in a chair, it's nice and pressed.

I was watching TV while I was undressing.

Oh, I see.

Will you stop using this living room as a laundry chute?

Okay, Bob.

Here.

Take that upstairs.

And, uh, how about your rocks?

Oh, I have to practice rock gardens for nature studies.

That's my homework.

Well, when I was cleaning the house, I didn't
want to get them dirty, so I swept around them.

Okay, Bob.

Just kick them out of your way.

I'd like to kick them out of the house.

Well, maybe I better move the living room
outside and the backyard inside.

Pat, get off of there.

Douglas reporting from outer space.

Well, and how was your trip, Mr. Douglas?

Fine.

A little crowded, particularly through the
Milky Way, but, uh, usual weekend, Pat.

And, uh, Venus?

Oh, about the same.

Way out.

How long are you going to be in town, Ms. Robbins?

Um, three days until the, uh, contest is over.

Oh.

And then?

Oh, wherever the magazine decides to send me.

I, uh, cover most of the interior decorating exhibitions.

Oh.

That must, uh, keep you out on the road quite a lot.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

You do take time out to eat, I guess, don't you?

Mm-hmm.

In between visits to the various homes.

You, uh, judge the homes yourself, huh?

No, no.

I merely check the home out to see if it
qualifies for the contest.

A committee does the judging.

I see.

But you, uh, you do go out to the homes
yourself and check them, huh?

That's it.

Can, uh, anyone enter this contest?

Mm-hmm.

Could I?

Well, if you have a home.

Oh, I do.

Uh, now, what do I have to do?

Well, just, uh, answer a few questions.

Fine.

Fire away.

Address?



Phone number?

Bryant Park, 614.

If a man answers, hang on.

And if a woman answers?

Well, that'd be quite unusual, because
we don't have any women in our house.

Ah, I see.

Uh, type?

Well, uh, reliable, dependable,
fond of children and animals.

And I'm particularly fond of Italian food.

Now, there's a wonderful little Italian
restaurant right near our house.

It's Luigi's.

Type of home.

Oh.

Well, I suppose you'd call it, uh, early...

Hmm.

Kind of a mixture.

Well, mixing different styles and periods is acceptable.

Well, we do that.

Um, are there any unusual features about your home?

Uh-huh.

Well, uh... It's not necessary, but it does help.

We do have rocks in our living room.

Yes, you might, uh... You might
call it a sort of indoor rock garden.

Oh, well, that's interesting.

My, uh, father-in-law doesn't...
My father-in-law doesn't...

I don't particularly like it, but,
uh, my youngest son does.

Really?

He lives with us.

Oh, your son?

Well, no, I mean my father-in-law.

Well, my youngest son does, too.

As a matter of fact, all three of my sons do.

Three sons?

Yes.

You'll meet them when you go out to the house.

Let's see, now.

I'm going to be tied up here until, uh...

Why don't I pick you up about 8 O'clock and
have dinner at Luigi's and maybe see a show?

I will have had dinner by then, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, you eat early, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Now, you seem to feel that 8 O'clock would be convenient.

Before you'd come to the house?

Yes.

Oh, yes, that'll be fine.

Now, I'll pick you up about quarter to... I am
quite capable of finding 837 Mill Street by myself.

Thank you, Mr. Douglas.

But, Miss Robbins, uh, Mill Street might
not be as easy to find as you...

I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Not bad.

Mm-hmm.

What's the bait this time?

A bachelor with three sons, a father-in-law,
and a rock garden in the living room.

Give him points for originality.

Last year, it was a Texan who claimed he
had a nine-hole golf course in the rumpus room.

How do we handle this one?

Oh, the usual way.

Hey, what's going on?

What happened?

The lights.

Oh, sorry, Dad.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Chip.

Hi, Dad.

You missed a pretty good dinner.

I'm sure I did, Mike, but I got hung up
down there longer than I expected.

Well, I'll warm over the warmed-over leftovers.

Oh, no, Bub, thanks very much,
but I grabbed a bite downtown.

I would like a quick cup of coffee, though.

I have to go up and get dressed.

I'm expecting company.

Who?

Oh, a lady.

Anybody I know?

Oh, I just met her today myself.

Well, how come you asked her over here?

I wanted to show her our home.

Why?

Because that's her business, Bub, looking at home.

She's, uh... What did she look like?

Bub, how about the coffee, huh?

I was just asking.

Rob, you're going to blow a fuse.

What are you doing, anyway?

Oh, Dad, I'm trying to figure this thing out.

It's the weirdest thing.

I turn it on, I let it warm up for a second, and
then the lights dim and the music comes on.

Well, that's impossible.

I know it's impossible, Dad, but it does it.

Boy, you know, it'd sure be a nice setup
if I had a date tonight.

I'd be the innocent victim of circumstance.

You mean, when the music starts to play,
the lights go down, huh?

Yeah, watch.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one, blast off.

You see?

Well, I'll be done.

Well, I think that's enough.

I don't know how it works, but I get the idea.

Dad, do you have any suggestions?

Yes.

Why don't you put on some romantic records?

Well, Dad, what'll that do?

Well, I don't know, but it might be
interesting to find out.

That rock garden.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one, blast off.

I don't understand how that works.

But it does.

Good evening.

Molly Dunbar, Home Decorators Magazine, Incorporated.

Well, uh, come in, Miss Dunbar.

I, uh, I was expecting Miss Robbins.

Oh, I'm Miss Robbins' secretary.

But I thought, uh...

Well, now, uh, how do you suppose that happened?

Operator, give me Bryant Park, 6100 feet.

Oh, never mind, Operator, thanks.

Things I do for you.

As bad as that?

My feet are k*lling me.

Ouch.

What's the matter?

Well, I fell over the rock garden in the dark.

You what?

He has a record player.

It only works when the lights go dim.

Boy, he didn't miss a trick.

Did he?

Did you ever try learning the boss a nova in the dark?

Oh, no, I can't say that I have.

Well, you ought to try it sometime.

It's a lot better than sitting around a hotel
room all by yourself, planning tomorrow's work.

He's a very good dancer, by the way.

He would be.

It was quite an educational evening.

Oh, Molly, come on.

Oh, I... I admit he's a little young for me.

Seventeen, in fact.

Seventeen?

Steve's son, Robbie.

Oh.

What else did you learn?

Oh, a little bit about psychology.

Mike, age 21.

And a few pointers on conglomerate formations.

Chip, age 10.

And I am now an expert on popping corn
over an open fireplace.

Bub.

Bub.

Slightly older.

What, um, what was the house like?

Oh, the house.

Well, it's the kind of house you and I
don't see very often.

Not a show place.

Nothing the feature section would rave about.

It's just sort of a people house.

How long does Bub say I have to sit on this broken spring?

Until the committee looks at the house.

Then we can all go back to being our sloppy old selves.

Can't tr*mp come in, Rob?

No, not until after he dries off from the
bath that Bub gave him.

I'll get it.

Oh, hi, Sally.

Hi, Robbie.

Is Mike home?

Yeah, come on in.

Thanks.

Hey, Rob, is that the... Oh, hi, Sally.

Excuse me, I thought that was the committee.

Oh, hi, Bud.

Hi, Lily.

Hi.

Sam, glad you came over.

I wanted to talk to you about that
contemporary modern house we saw.

Well, okay, but what's with all these flowers?

That's Bub's idea of interior decoration.

When in doubt, cover it with flowers.

We're entering that distinctive homes contest.

Listen, I've been thinking...

I'll get it.

Oh, hi, Bill.

Hi, Rob.

Come on in.

I've got your record player fixed.

Yeah, Dad and I worked on it last night.

Hey, Rob, is that the... It's Bill Gates, Bub.

Oh, hi, Bill.

Hi, Mr. Casey.

I'm gonna have to be careful and not mess up the place.

Where's the body?

We're expecting a committee to come over
and inspect the house.

What do you got, a termite?

No, we're just entering the house in a
contest or something.

Oh.

Oh, big deal.

Yeah.

I'll get it.

Again.

Oh, hi, Ernie.

Chip home?

Yeah, sure.

Come on in.

No, Bub.

It was just Ernie.

Hi, Ernie.

Hi, Chip.

I can't get up.

How come?

I have to sit on this broken spring.

Sure, a lot of flowers stuck around.

Somebody sick?

Not yet.

So who is it this time?

Oh, it's just tr*mp, Bub.

Get off the furniture.

It's okay, Mike.

He can help me sit on this old chair.

Well, you better not let Bub see you.

Bub!

Oh, it's you.

I don't think that committee is going to show up after all.

Oh, yes, they're here right now, Bub.

I just met them outside.

Won't you come in?

Bub, this is Marta Robbins.

How do you do?

This is McGee, Mr. Allison.

This is Bub O'Casey, my father-in-law.

How do you do?

I think I'll show them the living room first.

Come right in here, won't you?

Don't pick one of those rocks, Bub.

There you are.

That's fine.

Oh, hi, Fritzie.

tr*mp, it's for you.

You know, I just figured out what type of house we'd have.

Early bedding.

Right this way, folks, and I'll show you the kitchen.

Must be impressed.

They haven't set a woodwork.

Well, then, come in and meet the rest of the family.

Oh, no.

Good job.

I want you to meet the...

Rob?

Yeah.

This is Miss Robbins.

This is Mark's friend, Sally.

How do you do?

How do you do?

This is Mike, the oldest boy.

This is my friend, Bill, right here.

Oh, hi.

Hello, Bill.

And this is Robbie and Backy.

Yeah.

How are you?

Yes, ma'am.

Eddie?

Eddie?

Eddie.

Yeah.

Yes, we got the paper.

Here's the results.

Now we'll find out who won all the prizes.

Here we are.

First prize, Byron Smithers.

Terry Monaghan.

Third, fourth, fifth.

Why, we're not even mentioned in the first ten.

Jeepers, Bub.

I mean, it's probably my fault.

I should never have been polite and
offered my chair to that judge.

That had nothing to do with it.

I sewed the tear in his pants, didn't I?

Hi, Bub.

Sorry we missed dinner, Bub.

We had to pick something up for you.

What, a crime towel?

Nope.

This.

Hey, Wicked.

Champ homemaker.

That's from all of us, Bub.

You guys wouldn't be able to do that.

You wouldn't kid me, would you?

No, we mean it.

A pal of mine in art school made it up from a photograph.

Pretty neat, huh?

Hey, Bub, I know where you can keep it.

Where?

On that table over there where the ink spotted.

That's a good idea.

You know, I'm glad Sally and I looked at
all those other homes.

Yeah?

That helped us decide exactly what it is we want.

Well, I'm afraid to ask.

Well, I'm afraid to ask.

Oh, no, Bub.

We decided we want a home just like this one.

Well, at least you'll recognize a chair when you see one.

Hey, Dad, look at this.

Hey, how about that?

Champ Homemaker, huh?

A friend of Mike's made it.

It's to Bub from us.

Well, that's wonderful, fellas.

Champ Homemaker, huh?

Well, Bub, you certainly deserve an award for that.

Well, I'm going out.

If you need me for anything, which I hope
you won't, I'll be having dinner at.

Luigi's with a very pretty magazine editor.

Arrivederci, y'all.

Don't wait up for me.

Arrivederci.

Reflections and palaces Though we may roam
Be it ever so humble There's no place like

home Coming up later, we'll award you an Oscar
and a Tony in an Emmy-winning show, The Odd Couple.

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