04x11 - The Proposals

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons.

Starring Fred McMurray And as Bub, William.

I wonder what'll happen to them.

They'll probably end up getting married.

I hope so.

Oh, but remember, she has another boyfriend in Paris.

Yeah, he's too in love.

They'll get married.

Don't you think that when two people are
in love, they ought to get married,

even though it isn't practical?

Well, we'll see how it comes out.

I didn't mean the movie exactly.

I was just talking about... Shh.

What I'm trying to say is...

Well, there comes a time.

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

Hi.

I thought I'd bring you kids a cup of my special hot cocoa.

Here, honey, now take it by the handle.

It's hot.

There you are.

Smells delicious.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Your timing is perfect, Bub.

Huh?

Oh, nothing.

What are you watching?

Oh, it's a love story about Paris and spring
and, you know... Yeah, you probably wouldn't like it.

I think I've seen that thing.

Ned, you over, will you?

That's good.

Nice.

Yeah, I've seen it.

That joker on the left there
dives off the Eiffel Tower when

he finds his gal messing around
with that dude in the specs.

I don't know why you're watching this.

Dad, I just sat there trying to think of
the right words to say, and I was stumped.

She didn't even know what I was talking about.

Well, proposing isn't always the easiest thing to do.

And just when I thought I had the right wording all
figured out, Bub walks in with his famous hot cocoa.

You're sure Sally's the one, Mike?

Oh, I'm positive, Dad.

That's why I want your help.

Well, I hope there are still a lot of things I can do.

I can help you with, Mike, but there's one
thing I can do, and that's propose for you.

Well, of course not, but...

Well, just tell me, how did you propose to Mom?

Well, of course, the way I proposed might
not work out for you at all.

But at least it would give me a pattern to work from.

Well, I remember we were sitting in her living room.

We were listening to the radio.

Mind if I turn that down a little?

I don't want to wake up your folks.

They don't mind.

They're beginning to think of you as one of the family.

I know.

Even left a newspaper for my feet.

This great big ashtray just for you?

Mom and Dad got this at Sterling Beach on their honeymoon.

Hey, man.

It's genuine abalone.

It is, huh?

It's real nice.

Real nice.

Say,

how much do you think they get for one of
those places down at Sterling Beach?

About a dollar and a half a night.

Why?

It'd be a nice place for a honeymoon.

Mm.

Whose?

Ours.

Okay.

You forgot something.

What?

You didn't ask me to marry you.

Oh.

Well, uh, I'll get around to it.

I see that you do.

And that was it?

Yeah.

Yeah, that was it.

That was it.

I'm afraid it isn't exactly a manual on how to propose.

Well, maybe it is.

Maybe that's what I'll use with Sally.

The casual approach.

It wasn't quite as casual as it sounds.

My heart was really pounding.

But it came out casual.

With the other night, I was so
self-conscious, I didn't make any sense.

Well, I'll just toss it off.

Like I was inviting her to a fish fry or something.

Thanks, Dad.

Mike, I'd make it a little more important than a fish fry.

Make it at least a Barbie.

Dad, I don't think you should encourage
Mike to try that casual jazz on Sally.

Robbie, Mike asked me a question and I answered it.

Yeah, but when you get casual, girls get sore.

That's a good way to lose them.

Hey.

Hey what?

Well, that's what I'll try at Antelmaster.

Antelmaster and Georgia Fleck.

Somehow I wound up with dates with both of
them to go to the prom.

You, uh, did it again, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know how it keeps happening.

Must be chemical animal magnetism or something.

I don't know.

Well, that, uh, that must be it.

Chemical animal magnetism.

Sally?

Yeah, Mike?

Would you hand me that bag of nails, please?

Well, hold that.

Sally?

You did that very well.

What are you talking about?

Anybody can hold a board.

We work well together.

Why don't we make it for keeps?

What did you say?

Why don't we, uh, make it for keeps?

Well, Hank, Mike, you have to make it for keeps.

Otherwise, the pigeons will get out.

Yeah.

Why don't you guys go out and do it?

I'll get the chicken wine.

There's some right there.

Well, go out in the car and get the rest of it.

Okay.

I mean, uh, why don't we make this working
together permanent?

Oh, you want us to go in the pigeon Coop business?

Well, no, uh... Oh, you want to go in the pigeon
Coop business, and I'll just hand you the nails.

No, um, I mean, uh, why don't we work out
some sort of an agreement?

Where we'll, uh, always be working together.

Like what, Mike?

Oh, uh, like, um, like getting married or something.

Mike, uh, how about another nail?

Or something.

Robbie, I thought we were going to a show.

I just thought it might be more relaxing
if we sat here and, uh, sort of did nothing.

Oh.

You know, I'm not the type of guy who likes to go
to parties and take girls to shows and everything.

You aren't?

No.

I'm just basically sort of lazy and sloppy and casual.

I guess I should have gone to the show with Fred Furman.

I was just dying to see those three horror
films at the Rialto.

I guess you should have.

I don't know.

I always seem to take life so casual.

You do get pretty casual.

Sometimes I get so casual that people think I'm taking
them for granted, and I end up with a bunch of enemies.

What do you mean?

Well, when I have something important to
ask somebody, like, uh, going to the prom

or going steady or something, uh, I get so casual.

I get so casual that anybody in their
right mind wouldn't accept.

Oh, Robbie, I understand you.

Yeah, I guess that's just the way I am.

And I accept.

Uh-huh.

I got this steaming new dress for the
prom, and since we're going steady,

I guess this is mine, huh?

Real casual.

So you, uh, didn't do so well in the
proposal department, huh?

I guess I was just too casual.

I don't suppose you used one ounce of chivalry.

Is that what I should have used?

You're darn right.

You don't ask a girl to marry you like you
ask for a cheeseburger.

Take a deep breath.

Take a look around.

Hey, what are you guys doing?

We're letting the pigeons smell stuff so
they know where to come home to.

Yeah, well, we don't allow foul in the
kitchen unless they're being cooked.

Now, get them out of here.

They smelled enough anyway.

Bub, how did you propose?

Sonny boy, it was a thing of beauty.

Bub, I've got to talk to you.

I've had these two girls following me around all the time.

I tried to get rid of one of them,
and now I end up going steady with her.

And I've still got dates with both of them
to go to the prom.

I can't figure out what to do.

Hold it, will you hold it?

Wait a minute, will you hold it?

Now, I find that I'm going to have to dole
out my advice to you guys one at a time.

Now, sit down while I explain to Mike just
exactly the way to propose.

Oh, you mind if I take notes?

Well, it wouldn't hurt, Hilda.

Now, Mike, the best way to learn is from an expert, right?

Right.

Well, here's how I got the job done.

It was one of those nights they write about in poems.

The moon was a silver arrow.

Bub, never mind the scenery.

Just tell me, what did you say?

Well, wait a minute, will you, Wilbur?

Don't be so fast.

Just give a guy a little chance.

We were listening to a stack of records in her parlor.

Thank you for the lovely flowers, William.

The flowers look undernourished in
comparison with your beauty, my dear.

You have such a flair for the poetic.

But it comes right from the heart, darling.

Will you marry me, sweet?

Oh, William.

I have other things to say, my Lily of the valley.

Why, you've said some of the loveliest
things I've ever heard.

Then you'll share my life, my darling?

How could any girl resist such a gallant gentleman?

And that's how you sweep a girl off her feet.

Well, that's fine, Bub, but I don't think
that'd work these days.

Listen, Charlie, if it didn't work, you
wouldn't even be here asking me questions.

That's true.

Of course, it would be a different approach.

Sure.

You're a blinder with that romantic stuff,
and you can't lose.

Yeah, maybe so.

We'll see.

Didn't you need some advice on how to keep
your harem in line?

Not now.

You just showed me how to take care of everything.

How come?

Now, that stuff you were saying to Michael
worked for me, too.

Thanks, Bub.

I thought you already had too many girls.

I do.

But I won't pretty soon.

What I like about that restaurant is the atmosphere.

That's sort of a European feel.

Sally, this may sound silly, but when I
looked at you tonight across the table

with the candlelight and everything,
you looked just like an angel.

You're kidding.

No, really.

The way the light danced through your hair.

It looked like you were wearing a halo.

Wow.

If I were a painter, I could capture your beauty on
canvas, but I have to paint my pictures with mere words.

You're the image of nature to me.

You are what lights my dawn.

Boy, you're really giving me the business.

It comes right from my heart.

Oh, my.

It's so funny.

Oh, it's just that... Are you serious?

You sound a little corny.

Corny?

I was trying to ask you something pretty important.

Don't tell me.

You want to know where I bought my halo.

Oh, forget it.

Oh, come on now.

I thought you had a sense of humor.

I do, but I know where and when to use my sense of humor.

Not like some people I know.

Well, I'm sorry, but when something
strikes me funny, I laugh.

Funny, huh?

When we first met, you liked my sense of humor.

Well, maybe I changed my mind.

Maybe you have.

Let's go home.

That's a heck of an idea.

Robbie, what are you doing?

I was just going to put this Rose in your hair.

What for?

It's embarrassing.

I just want to adorn your beauty with that
token from spring.

Flowers don't really go with my hairdo.

I was just going to say that your hairdo looks like
it was created on the summit of Mount Olympus.

Is that good?

Of course.

That's where the most beautiful goddesses
in the world hang out.

All right, well, it'd be paluzza, pizza, or plain.

Nothing right now.

We're just talking.

Thank you.

Well, now, you've got to talk quick, because
if I need this table, you're going to have to go.

Okay.

As I was saying, when you're near me, I feel
like the earth must feel after a gentle rainfall.

Robbie!

You can't imagine what the sound of your
hair would be like.

What the sound of your voice makes me feel like.

Robbie!

And when I call your house and your phone
is busy, it's like the sound of thunder

crushing over and over again, and my love secures.

Did you call?

No.

Without you by my side, I would wander
the paths of this lonely earth like I was lonely.

Robbie, don't say anything else.

How come?

I don't want everyone in the world listening to you.

I'm a loudmouth goof, huh?

I just want all the sweet things you said
to be between you and me.

I know what you were trying to say to me
in your own strange way.

You were asking me to go steady, and I accepted.

Yes.

And since we're going steady...

Yes, this is mine.

All right, kids, you got to order now.

The place is getting pretty packed.

We'll split a palooza pizza, please.

I'll split one palooza pizza.

Waiter, make that with everything on it.

I'll tell you one thing.

Sally's going to have to make the first move.

Mike, don't you think you're being a
little foolish about this?

No, I don't.

She laughed at me.

I didn't laugh at her.

She makes the first move.

Boy, now I've got two of them.

Ed's?

She started out with them in the first
place, isn't it, Rob?

Yeah, but now I'm going steady with them.

George has got my sweater, and Ann's got my ring.

Want to get rid of them?

Well, heck yeah.

Use Dad's technique on one and Bub's
technique on the other.

I did.

That's how I got stuck with both of them.

Mike, what are you doing here?

Well, what are you doing here?

I just wanted to get a little air.

A girl shouldn't come to a place like this alone.

I didn't have anybody else to come here with.

Well, I'm here now.

Mike.

I'm sorry, go ahead.

No, you go ahead.

Would you marry me?

Yes.

I'm not going to use any fancy words or...

What?

I said yes.

Which is what I should have said the first
two times you asked.

Hey, Mike.

Hi, Mike.

Guess who I'm getting married to.

Philadelphia, Jack O'Brien.

You mean you're engaged?

Yeah.

Well, good work, Mike.

See, I've got to hang up.

My brother's getting married.

Oh, this is wonderful.

That's where he's going to put the ring as
soon as we can afford it.

Well, we certainly need a woman around this house.

May I?

You'd better.

Sally, that's swell.

I think it's just great.

Yeah.

Excuse me a minute, please.

That's the way it should be done.

All right, you guys, now I saw her first.

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, you guys, guess what?

Mike and Sally are going to get married.

Hey, that's neat.

Has anybody seen our pigeons?

Oh, gee, we really impressed them.

Chip, you're going to be my brother-in-law.

Huh?

Well, from now on, you and I are going to
be just like brother and sister.

Oh.

Well, what do I have to do?

Well, about the worst thing that can happen
is that once in a while I might give you a kiss.

I'll get it then.

Do you think you can stand that?

Yeah.

Who is it, Rob?

I don't know, Dad.

I just found my sweater and my ring and
this letter right there.

These may be clues to the mystery, Sherlock.

We got to talking and we found out that
we're both going steady with you.

Only now we're not because we wouldn't go steady with the
blue beard of Bryant Park High even if we have to go steady.

I remember the dance with our father.

Bye, George.

Me too, Ann.

Well, Rob, it looks like your chemical
animal magnetism backfired.

Mike, tell us now, how did you pop the question?

Yeah, what'd you say?

Well, it was probably the weirdest proposal on record.

Instead of stumbling and fumbling,
I just went ahead and asked her.

I just went ahead and said yes.

Hello?

Yes, ma'am.

Ernie, it's for you.

Hello?

Hey, me!

Yeah, bye, Mom.

Our pigeons are over at my house.

Over at your house?

You mean they never left?

Uh-uh.

You want to rent them for your wedding?

You can have a flower of a cake or something.

No, Ernie, they're my pigeons too.

And it's creepy to rent stuff to your own family.

Thank you, Chip.

I told you I'd give you a kiss once in a while.

Well, it's okay.

But next time, try not to do it in front of my friends.

What's that, Sally?

Tell me, have you kids set a date?

Oh, Mike has to finish school first.

Yeah, we haven't set the exact date.

Bub, you're going to have to give Sally
some of your recipes.

Yeah.

Oh, great.

I don't know what they're so excited about.

Lots of people get married.

But how often do you lose your pigeon?

Ernie, when you go off, nothing makes sense.

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons as
this twice as nice morning continues here on TV Land.