04x05 - A Car of His Own

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons Starring Fred McMurray And
as Bub, William Frawley.

Shakespeare makes sense.

But Shelly, hail to thee, blithe spirit,
bird thou never wert.

Boy, bird thou never wert.

How about that?

To be or not to be, that is the question.

Will you or won't you, that's the question.

What?

You know.

Oh, about going steady?

Yeah.

Well, I like you more than any other boy at
school, but going steady, I just don't know.

It's because I don't have a car, that's it, isn't it?

Oh, no.

No, except, supposing we were going steady
and someone asked me all the way out to

clear light for the class picnic or something.

Yeah.

Yeah, I understand, Myrna.

You going to the picnic?

I guess not.

Like I said, I don't have any wheels.

Oh.

Couldn't you borrow Mike's car?

No, he might be using it.

Oh, look.

What a neat car.

Thanks.

Dad and I.

Hi, Sharon.

Isn't it great, Robbie?

Yeah, yeah, it's real cool.

Say, how about a ride home, Mary Lou?

You don't mind, do you, Douglas?

No, no, no, I don't mind.

It's the most natural thing in the world.

I understand if you peel onions underwater, you don't cry.

Bub's using the bathtub.

What's the matter?

This one-man physical fitness program.

I didn't know you had one.

Yeah, we have one, and I'm it.

I'm the only guy in the whole school that has
to walk to Clear Lake just for the class picnic.

Well, when I was a kid, I hiked five miles.

Through rain and snow and sleet just to go to school.

Well, the school was just across the road.

Hiking was to pick up a gal.

How far is Clear Lake?

Ten miles.

Maybe you can borrow Mike's car.

No, Bub, I want a car of my own.

Well, you know the answer to that.

Yeah, yeah, earn it.

But how can I earn a car and go to school at the same time?

Well, Chip's earning two bits peeling onions.

Great.

At that rate, by the time I get a car,
I'll be too old to drive.

Hey, Bub, how many more bowls of vegetables
do I have to peel before I get that new baseball mitt?

Well, I figure you've earned about two fingers.

Hey, Bub, you gonna give it to him now?

No, no, no, not now.

We gotta wait till after dinner.

First, we gotta gift wrap it.

How about this?

Huh?

Hey, what a job!

Oh, it looks great.

How does it look?

Pretty as an income tax refund.

I can't wait to see his face when we tell him.

Oh, sorry, plus Robbie.

Yeah, shall we bring him out now?

No, we'll wait a little.

After dessert.

Okay.

Well, Bub, that was some dinner.

Especially the onions.

They were peeled great.

What do you say, Mike?

I think it's just about that time.

About what time?

Robbie, we were in hopes your dad would be
home in the time for the main event.

What main event?

Anyway, he knows about it, and he said to go ahead without
him, because he knows what it's going to mean to you.

What are you talking about?

We'll show you.

Come on.

Rob, we know how much you've wanted a car
since you got your driver's license.

Sure.

Well, you haven't complained too much
about not having a wheel.

But we know how you felt.

Well, get to the point.

Okay, okay.

Rob, I'm getting another car.

You get this one.

It's all yours.

Full of gas, polished, and ready to go.

Rob, you got wheels or last?

Gee, I don't know what to say.

Well, that's a new development.

Uh, Mark, what kind of car are you getting?

Oh, I'm getting a 54 convertible.

Hmm, that's pretty nice.

Well, thanks.

It sure is nice of you, Mark.

Uh, I have to go upstairs now and study.

Bird down never worked.

Well, aren't you going to g*n the engine a couple times?

Well, I really should learn this thing by Monday.

Hey, uh, some ribbon.

How do you like that?

Yeah.

You better go up and take his temperature.

That guy is really sick.

Well, something's wrong, that's for sure.

He sure talks funny.

Bird down never worked.

Well, we'll go up and take a look at him.

Are you, uh, okay, Rob?

Sure.

There's a... There's a lot of that flu going around.

Nah, not around me.

Well, look, Rob, I know that sometimes
things happen, like trouble.

Well, if there's anything I can...

I'm your brother.

No, Mike.

I'm, uh, I'm not in any trouble.

Well, about the car, we figured you'd be pretty happy.

Yeah, I know, Mike.

Mike, I appreciate what you tried to do for me.

But I, I just don't want your car.

Well, look, I know it's no limousine, but it's wheels.

But it's your wheels, Mike.

I want a car of my own.

It is your car.

No, Mike, in a way, it'll always be yours.

It's like Chip.

He's always getting the stuff that we've worn out.

You know, old baseballs, old gloves, stuff like that.

Look.

This old glove.

I gave him this old glove six months ago.

He just stuck it up in the closet.

He's been saving ever since to get one of his own.

And do you remember the time you gave me
that old tennis racket of yours?

Yeah.

It was hardly worth it at all.

It took me two months before I earned enough to buy my own.

But cars are different, Rob.

I'm getting another used car.

People buy used cars all the time.

But that's just it, Mike.

They can pick their own car.

They don't have to choose one unless they want to.

Yeah.

You got any particular car picked out?

Yep.

A Ferratalia.

Boy, what wheels.

Ferratalia?

You'd have to Rob a bank to get enough
money to buy a Ferratalia.

Not this one.

I saw it in a used car lot.

It was love at first sight.

What a body.

What cams.

Mike, uh...

Mike, uh... How much?

How much could you get for your car?

I don't know.

I think the blue book said $50.

I'll give you $50 for it.

What are you, some kind of kook or something?

I just gave you the car.

Why buy it?

But, Mike, if I buy it, then it's really mine.

I can do what I want with it.

All right?

Where are you going to get $50?

I'll give you an IOU.

Okay.

Okay.

But if you ask me... Suppose
we should have a witness, Mike?

No, no, that's okay.

If you don't pay me, I know where you live.

I'll come get you.

All right.

Here we are.

Pink slips in the glove compartment.

Thanks, Mike.

$50.

To Mike.

Built by precision workmen, kids.

And now this is some.

Double overhead cam engine.

They don't make them like this anymore today.

I put a little work into it.

I could name my own price.

Does it run?

It's a collector's item.

That's what it is, though.

It's a collector's item.

I'll bet you there aren't five like it in
the United States right today.

A little time, a little work, and you've
got yourself an automobile, son.

It doesn't run.

Tell you what I'm going to do.

And I ought to have my head examined.

I'm going to trade you even.

That hunk of iron you're driving for one
of the classic, models of history.

I'll even tow it home for you.

Hey, Maxie, bring that tow truck over.

We're losing our monument.

Anybody home?

Oh, hi, Bub.

Hi, Steve.

Did you have a good trip?

Yeah, pretty good.

Where is everybody?

Well, Mike's out with his girl.

Yeah.

I don't have to ask where Robbie is.

He's out driving Mike's old car.

Boy, I wish I could have been here when you gave it to him.

I bet he flipped.

You traded Mike's car for a hunk of junk.

He what?

You'll have to see it to believe it.

But I thought he loved Mike's car.

Well, he didn't like something that Mike was tired of.

Now he's got something that I'm tired of.

It's out in the garage.

Well, I better go out and take a look at it.

Okay.

Well, hi, Rob.

Hi, Dad.

Did you have a nice trip?

Yeah, fine.

Here she is.

Didn't she abuse?

Well, if you say so.

What is it?

It's a fair time, Dad.

Body by Gianni, double overhead cam engine, Brony wheels.

Boy, wait till I get her all fixed up.

See, he wanted wheels, so right away, off came the wheels.

Rob, you mean you traded Mike's car?

For, uh, for that?

Yeah, Dad, I got a great little deal.

But Mike's car was running.

But that's just it, Dad.

Mike's car.

This one's my baby.

All mine.

Okay, Rob.

Good luck with it.

See you, Dad.

Fifty bucks down the drain.

Well, Rob must have some kind of plan, Bub.

We'll, uh, just have to go along with it.

But it won't run.

He's a pretty fair mechanic.

Where's he going to get the parts?

Well, that's his problem.

We'll just have to have Patience and see
how it all works out.

My old man would have given me the back of his hand.

Hi, Dad.

How was your trip?

Hi there, Chipper.

Good to see you.

I had a fine trip.

Well, have you been out in the garage yet?

I was just out there.

Boy, I don't get it.

You don't get what?

Well, remember when I brought that bicycle
home from the city dump?

I had to take it right back.

Now, Robbie brings home a whole automobile.

I guess it's a whole automobile.

Well, this is a little different situation.

Robbie traded Mike's car for it.

For that hunk of junk?

Well, it isn't exactly junk, Chip.

Boy, I better have another look.

I must have missed something.

I'm a chip.

Hello.

Yes, this is Robbie's father.

Now, don't admit anything until you talk to your lawyer.

Yes, I saw his report card, Mr. Nugent.

I noticed he'd fallen off a little in a
couple of subjects, but I'm sure you...

Emotional problems?

No, I'm... Well, I'll certainly do that.

Thanks very much for calling, Mr. Nugent.

Well, that was Robbie's faculty advisor.

He wonders if Robbie has any problems at home.

Yeah, he has problems.

Financial problems.

What do you mean?

Well, I figure he's on the hook for about $237.50.

With that old car?

Yeah.

He's getting in pretty deep, isn't he?

Yeah.

Don't you think you ought to stop him
before he mortgages the house?

Well, I don't want him to think I'm losing
confidence in him.

Well, if he gets in any deeper,
we'll have to send a submarine for him.

I guess it's my fault, Bub.

I told him to go ahead.

I'm in this just as deep as he is.

All right, then I'll send a submarine for both of you.

Robbie?

Yeah?

Get in here.

Yeah, Bub?

What's up?

What are you roasting here?

They're carburetors.

I didn't think it was facetious.

I've got to soak them in this cleaner.

I figured I'm working on them later.

They're pretty delicate.

I'm surprised you didn't use the new chafing dish.

Oh, I don't think that's big enough, Bub.

Get this stuff out of here.

Marla, do you see an open end right there, a 5-8?

A what?

A 5-8's open.

Oh, never mind.

I'll get it.

A 5-8's open end wrench.

Bobby, when do you think you'll be finished with it?

Any time now.

The engine's almost set.

For weeks you've been working on this car.

Yeah, I know.

My deadline's a class picnic.

And the class picnic means you, my dear.

You would happen to see a 7-8's 12-point
wrench there, would you?

Marilou?



Marilou?

Marilou?

It's all finished.

I'm going to start her up, so I thought
maybe you'd like to be out there for the blast-off.

Why, we sure would.

Come on, fellas.

Yeah.

Can we get any kind of protection,
like dart glasses or something?

Well, I'm sure nothing's going to blow up, I don't think.

Whatever it is, I'll get my kitchen back.

Isn't she a beauty, Dad?



You did a great job on it, Rob.

Do we get to take a ride in her, Rob?

Maybe we better see if it works.

Yeah, whether it goes forward or backward, or up and down.

Yeah, why don't I check the deep freeze?

The brakes might be in there.

Go ahead, Rob.

Start it up.

Yes, sir.

Maybe you're out of gas.

How could I be?

I haven't even been anyplace yet.

Hey, Mike, get in and start it, will you?

Yeah.

Now, hold it.

All right, try again.

So that's what I hear.

Bug.

The.

Look on Robbie's face.

Yeah.

Edison had the same look.

It was worth all the trouble.

But was it worth all the money?

What's the latest figure, Bub?

Robbie's in hock for over 300 bucks.

I'm going to have to sit down with him
tonight and have a little man-to-man talk.

Yeah, but none of that birds and bees stuff.

Tell him about profit and loss.

Nope.

They don't build them like this one anymore.

It's a collector's item, sir.

That's what it is.

A collector's item.

You come around in a few years, kid,
and I'll put you to work as a salesman.

Built by precision workers.

None of this production line stuff.

Take a look at his body, mister.

It's steel, sir.

Not tin.

All right, all right.

Don't put my own words in my mouth.

I got the picture.

How much you want for this pile of junk?

What an ad for you, mister Smith.

What was once a pile of junk is now
rebuilt to the showcase miracle.

Now, I tell you, I ought to have my head
examined, but I'll give you the car for $500.

$500?

And I thought you were a nice kid.

I'll bet you there are five of them like
it in the United States right today.

Is that what I said?

Exactly, sir.

$250.

$400.

$300.

$375.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

Come on back.

I want to show you something.

Why, Robbie's smarter than he looks.

My dad knew what he was doing.

I think.

Well,

Robbie, you change cars often and I change shirts.

What do you think of it, Mr. Douglas?

Well, it's a beauty, Mary Lou.

Where'd you get it, Rob?

I sold the fair to tell you, Dad.

Made enough money to pay off all my
IOUs and buy this one, free and clear, okay?

Yeah, it's nice going.

I always said you got to go along with the kid.

Well, if you two characters will hit the road,
Mary Lou and I are driving to the class picnic.

Okay.

Hey, Chip.

Chip, don't step on my Fender, will you?

Well, have fun, kids.

Dad, would you mind just kind of giving me
a shove to get me started?

Oh, sure.

Come on, have a shove.

All right.

Hee-h*!

He goes and hocks for 300 bucks,
spends weeks working on a car,

comes up with a heap that's worse than
Mike's, so he's right back where he started from.

Don't you understand, Bub?

Now he has a car of his own.

And I got a kitchen of my own.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons as
this twice as nice morning continues here on TV Land.