03x06 - The Ghost Next Door

[bunniefuu]

Oh, tell the mayor
you'd like to pick up time change so it

doesn't wreck your entire day with your friends.

Come on, Robbie.

Yeah.

The truck will be here in a little while.

Come on, move.

Oh, gee, Bub, can't you get Mike to do this?

I got Hank Ferguson hanging on the phone.

Well, just let him hang.

It's good for him.

Come on, get this thing out of here.

Push.

Shake it up a little.

Well,

I don't know exactly.

Appears like the keys they gave me doesn't
fit the front door.

Well, the Pearsons lost those keys two years ago.

They always come in this way.

Oh, I'm Abby Pearson.

And I'm Bubba O'Casey.

My boy owns this place.

I told him I'd come and settle in for a
while while the family's on their trip.

Sort of care take the place as they call it.

I see.

And those two reluctant dragons are my grandsons.

I have another grandson and also a son-in-law.

Oh, no woman in the house?

We don't even have female mice.

That's cute.

I'm going to take off now.

Yeah, me too.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What's the matter with you two?

You're born on the other side of the mountain.

Mrs. Pearson, these are my grandsons.

This is Mike and that's Robbie over there.

My dear, just the image of my youngest son, Jerome.

He studied medicine for three years and he
took up painting.

He's in real estate now.

Oh, well.

Oh, his eyes were the same, except his were blue.

Just the sight of you takes me back to the time
when Jerome was the only son of his little friends.

He thought they could not live
unless they... He went to Mexico City.

Well, sir, they had this little car,
and if I hadn't put a stop to it,

they would have taken it on as soon as you're born.

Uh, Bub, Tim is waiting.

Excuse me.

Bye.

Go ahead, go ahead.

Nice to have met you, Miss Pearson.

Oh, Robbie, do you play the violin?

Uh, no, ma'am.

I play the trumpet.

Oh, I knew you were artistic.

Now, Arthur, that's next to my youngest,
always wanted to play the violin,

so we got him one, and then he just hated it.

But, well, you never heard such carrying
on in all your life.

When my husband, may he rest in peace,
when my husband tried to get him to

practice, and when Arthur finally did
practice, it was so dreadful.

Squeal and squeak, I bet.

His father had to burn the bow.

She was.

Shucks.

Listen, Bub, Hank's still hanging.

Well, go ahead, go ahead.

Okay, nice to have met you, Miss Pearson.

Goodbye.

Ah, it's going to be so nice.

Being next door to such nice people.

Thank you.

I hate to admit it, but there are times
when a body does get lonesome.

Well, you won't be lonesome with us around here.

The time will probably come when you'll
wish those Douglases would get out of your hair.

Oh, I don't think so.

By the way, do you have any pull with the
electric light company?

Well, no, I'm afraid not.

We use their product, of course.

Why?

Well, I was hoping to get my lights turned
on today, but they tell me it's impossible.

Well, I've got a flock of candles around here you can have.

Oh, fine.

Incidentally, I'd love to meet your other grandson.

Well, I'm afraid you'll have to wait till
later to meet Chip.

He's up the road playing with a little pal
of his or sort of getting ready for Halloween.

What's he like?

Well, he's a lot like me.

He's a very handsome chap.

You tell me.

You heard me a little, too.

Not.

Half as scary as mine.

Yours isn't even scary a bit.

That's because you saw me when I bought it.

Yeah, I get it.

But I bet they'll look real scary tonight when it starts.

Hi, Mom.

Did you buy any trick or treat junk for tonight?

Yes, and you mustn't touch it.

Look at us, Mrs. Pfeiffer.

That's nice, boys.

Sheepers.

Her hair didn't even turn white or anything.

It's got lots of white places in it.

Only she puts junk on it.

Sheepers?

That's okay, Mrs. Pfeiffer.

I've got a grandfather with no hair at all.

Yes, well, uh...

Why don't you boys go and try on your costumes?

Okay.

You want to try trick or treating when it's still light?

Or shall we wait for the dark?

No, I'll wait for the dark.

Then the girls will be scared.

They can tell who you are if it's still light.

How can they tell who you are if you're all covered up?

Why your shoes?

Oh, Johnny Brenner's a scaredy ghost.

He has to think his mother's trick or treating with him.

Boy, it's sure dumb to be a scaredy ghost.

Yeah.

I haven't been a scaredy ghost since I was a little kid.

Maybe a baby.

I don't believe them.

Me neither.

Some kids are afraid of empty houses.

Boy, it's sure dumb to be afraid of empty houses.

Yeah.

I've been living right next door to one all my life.

I'm not scared of it.

Yeah, what can an empty house do to you?

It can fall on you if you're inside and it's old.

But who would go inside an old empty house?

I'm glad to see you boys respect other people's property.

Yeah, and if there are any ghosts inside,
they don't like anybody horsing around.

I thought you said you didn't believe in ghosts.

We don't.

Oh, if there are such things, ghosts, they
might get sore if we don't believe in them.

Thank you, Mr. O'Casey.

I'm sure I have enough candles here for
tonight, plus two or three starlings.

Well, there's no use being in the dark.

You're right.

Thanks again.

You're welcome.

Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

First we'll go over to Mary Lou Gifford's
and scan the daylights on her.

And then we can go over to Freddy's and
mess around there for a while.

And then we'll go around the block of Dillon Street.

They give real good trick or treat junk over there.

What was that?

Nothing.

It was two-something.

I saw a thing go into that empty house.

What kind of thing?

I don't know, but I think it looked like one of
those cottage cheese people from the moon.

It couldn't be.

How come?

Because I always used to hear Mr. Pearson say he
wouldn't even rent his house to people with dogs, even.

Yeah?

Oh, hey, you fellas look great.

Boy, he didn't even start to get scared.

So we figured it was us because I said, hey, Dad.

You fellas better get started now.

I don't want you out too late.

Come on, get your bags.

There's some more.

Here, give him some candy, Chipper.

Hi, Chip.

Hi, Sudsy.

Hi, Billy.

Hi.

Yeah, that's what we've been getting at
the last three houses.

OK, give me them back.

No, that's OK.

Well, now you fellas stay right just around this block.

I don't want you crossing the street, OK?

OK, so long.

So long.

So long.

Careful now.

Hey, you want to go around the block again?

No, people said...

Hi, Marilyn.

Hi, Danny.

Boy, we really got...

Boy, these are sure dumb a*s.

Nobody ever...

I don't see anything, do you?

Not now.

What did you see?

There's a ghost in the Pearson's house.

He hollered and moaned and called us names and everything.

Oh, was there?

Yeah, it was in the upstairs window.

In the Pearson's house?

But, Chip, you know there's nobody in there.

It's vacant.

Yeah, but that's what makes it so goofy.

You should have heard him ranting in his
chains, Mr. Douglas.

Now, look, fellas, tonight is Halloween,
and this is the night the ghosts and the

goblins and the witches are supposed to be out.

But we know there are no such things, don't we?

But there is something called the power of suggestion.

And that means if you really expect something to
happen, sometimes the mind sort of makes it happen.

It's, uh, well, it's imagination.

You understand?

Yeah, but we really thought... No, you didn't, Chip.

It was just your imagination.

What?

Sure.

You don't see anything now, do you?

No.

That's because you're inside here with me
and you feel safe.

The mind won't let you see anything that
doesn't exist, you see?

I guess so.

You understand, Sudsy?

Sure.

I didn't see what I saw on account of my
brains aren't scared anymore.

Now, come on, let's see how much loose you got.

Dad?

Hmm?

Hey, you did all right, huh?

Dad?

Yeah, Chip?

Um, can I stay over at Sudsy's all night?

Why?

So you can sleep as far away from the
Haunters' house as possible?

Well, no.

It's just because we're...

Well, yeah.

Now, Chip, I, uh, I can't let you give in to yourself.

I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll call Sudsy's mother and see if he
can't spend the night here with you.

Okay, Sudsy?

Whoa.

Gee, you see, Sudsy, you're not afraid.

Sure he is.

It's just that it's chicken that chicken
in front of parents.

No, no, no.

Coming up, please, do you know me?

I was having a terrible dream, too.

Oh, good morning, Mr. O'Casey.

Just call me Bub.

And you call me Abby.

Oh, thanks for the candles last night.

I'll go get them.

I'm having my lights turned on today.

Just give them to one of the kids.

I heard last night that one of my lodge members
is sick, and I'm going over to cheer him up.

Oh, nothing serious, I hope.

Just one of those virus things.

Oh, you can't be too careful with viruses.

I had a friend one time that got a virus, and she nearly
died before they discovered he was one of those viruses.

You can't filter through anything to identify it.

And by the time they discovered what it
was, she caught pneumonia.

She was taking all the tests, I think.

Didn't care much for her doctor.

He wore a mustache.

Oh, now, not that I don't like mustaches,
but it seems a little unsanitary for a doctor.

Abby, I gotta catch a bus.

Oh, of course you have.

Oh, say, by the way, I saw that son-in-law
of yours graduate this morning.

Oh, my, he's a handsome one.

He looked a little surprised to see me.

I don't suppose you got around to telling
him I had moved in.

No, I didn't.

I couldn't be sure because he was sitting
down, but he looked like a tall man,

and from inside the... Oh, now,
just listen to me rambling on.

It's because I haven't talked to anybody
for so long, I kind of get wound up.

So you go on and get that bus.

Okay, Abby.

See you later.

Drink.

Drink to me only with thine eyes,
and I will pledge with thine.

Oh, good morning, Michael.

Oh, hi, Miss Pearson.

I just can't get over the way you look.

The way I look?

So much like Jerome.

If I remember one time... Miss Pearson,
excuse me, please, but I'm already a half hour late.

I'm supposed to be at my girlfriend's house.

Oh, of course, Susan.

You run along.

Oh, I think.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Oh, morning, Robbie.

Hi, Miss Pearson.

Oh, Mike, do you think you could drop me off at Hank's?

Uh, yeah, I guess so.

Hank must be your best friend.

Oh, he is, uh, kind of.

Yeah, that's when we're not so much together.

My boys were forever having their friends
hang around the house.

You know, it got so, I thought I was their second mother.

Oh, really?

Yes, you did.

Oh, well, bye.

Be careful now.

Be careful.

Goodbye, Susan.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

I was not scared last night.

You were, too.

I was not.

You were.

I was not.

I'll go look at that house any old time.

I might even go inside it.

You would not.

I would, too.

Yeah, when?

Oh, well, sometimes.

How about now?

How about you doing it?

Sure, I'm not scared of that old house.

I've been living right next door to it all my life.

Okay, let's see you do it then.

Okay, but you gotta come, too.

Okay, let's go.

You really going over there?

Sure, you coming?

Sure.

Let's bring tr*mp.

Okay.

Come on, Jack.

Jeepers, it opened.

Yeah.

Well, I guess you're not a Superman.

I'm scared of the house, so let's get out of here.

tr*mp, let him go.

Who needs him?

Something's over there.

Yeah, I know, I heard it.

Oh, it's just tr*mp.

Okay, we've been here long enough.

Let's go.

Yeah, let's get out of here.

Tell tr*mp to sickle my son.

Sickle tr*mp!

Bring back, bring back, bring back my body.

Hello, you must be Chip.

Come on, show me your body.

Witch,

and she knew my name and everything.

She said, you must be Chip.

And she kept hounding about how her body
was lying over the ocean.

I'm sure you boys were frightened by nothing more than
some lady who's probably moved into the Pearson house.

Now try to forget the whole thing.

Boy, mother sure don't know anything.

Yeah, I'm glad you said it, because I wouldn't
want to be the one to talk like that about your mother.

I still don't see why we have to go in and
get your skate coaster right this minute.

Because I have to go to the store and I
don't want to haul everything by hand.

Don't talk so loud.

Hey, you know something?

What?

We didn't have to sneak down the driveway like this.

We could have gone through the house.

Yeah, well, hurry up.

She might come out.

Oh, come on, honey.

Come on.

Here, Davia, put something on that box.

Let me look at you.

Oh, it didn't cut.

That isn't so bad.

Youngster, stop being careful when you're on those things.

I'm right in the house.

We'll fix you up.

You'll be all right here.

Right in there.

Go ahead.

That's the boy.

And the witch came out and picked him up
and took him in the house.

And if you don't do something pretty
quick, the ghost will probably eat him up.

You know, sometimes I don't think this
kid's got all his marbles.

Now, Sudsy, take it easy.

Which, er, what witch took Chip away?

The one with the horns that yells about
her body lying over the ocean.

You know, you could be right about the marbles.

Where did the witch take Chip?

To that house next door.

Oh.

Yeah, but how come we saw the lycobite in the window?

Oh, that was a candle, honey.

You see, they hadn't turned on my lights yet.

And did you think I had horns, too?

Yeah, how'd you know?

When I was a little girl, there was a lady
living on our block, and all of us kids

thought she was a witch because she had three or four black
cats, and her house was run down, and she wore a bandana.

What's a bandana?

Oh, it's a piece of cloth like this.

When you tie it around a certain way, it
looks like horns are coming out of your head.

Oh.

Well, maybe we better go over and see that
Chip didn't hurt himself when he fell.

Yeah.

Well, come on.

Right.

I don't want to go!

Don't let me be out!

Don't let me be out!

You know, Chip, I think every neighborhood has a
lady or a man who's supposed to be a witch or a wizard.

Only today, I was lucky.

You were?

Sure.

I found out in time to do something about it.

Well, come on here now, Chip.

You haven't even made a dent in these cookies yet.

Oh, you just missed that bell.

Yes, I'm coming.

Amy, I'm coming home in just a minute.

Well, we have visitors.

How nice.

Well, we heard Chip had been hurt, Abby.

Oh, just a bump.

Come on in.

Welcome to the richest den.

I think I hear my mother calling me.

Oh, now, come on over here.

Sit down.

There's at least 20 cookies on this plate, and I
expect to see them gone in the next 10 minutes.

My father gets mad at me if I eat cookies without asking.

Oh, nonsense.

I'll go get you some milk.

She's not a witch, such as.

She's just a lady.

Mm.

Oh, do you know, I believe that's the
nicest compliment I've ever received.

Well, say, how about you boys having some cider?

We'd love it.

How about it, fellas?

Hi, Bub.

Hi, Steve.

Well, it looks like we're going to have
some extra customers for dinner tonight, huh?

Well, there's really only one.

I forgot to tell you about Abby Pearson,
our next door neighbor.

Well, she looks like a nice person.

What about her?

Well, she is, but she's been living alone
a long time, and she's, well, she's just,

you know, sort of got a lot of catching up to do.

Catching up on what?

Talk.

Oh.

She's a swell lady and all that,
but she just talks and talks and talks.

She's really that bad?

Yes, it is.

Now, I wanted you to be prepared because
I've invited her over for dinner tonight.

Oh, fine.

I knew you wouldn't mind, and Steve,
this woman is really lonesome.

It was a very nice thing for you to do, Bob.

I'll go and get washed up.

All right.

Yahoo!

Well, I've brought the casserole.

Now, all you have to do is put the news in
there, then we'll melt some cheese,

pour over the whole thing, and pop it into the oven.

Good.

Oh, I do hope that Steve and the boys like news.

Well.

Good, good.

A little starch in the system, as well as the
backbone, never hurt anybody, my mother used to say.

Oh, say, by the way, that little Sudsy boy
has a terrible case of adenoids.

I wish you'd write down his address for me, will you?

I think I owe it to his mother to recommend some medicine.

I found out about it from some Indian
friends of mine in Minnesota.

They take the roots and they boil them.

Oh, hello.

I can see you there.

I'm Abby Pearson.

This is my son-in-law, Steve Douglas.

Oh, how proud to meet a man with such a fine family.

Thank you.

How in the world did you ever manage to
raise those boys without a woman in the house?

Well.

I know what you mean.

I've never been a feminist, really.

When my husband, bless his soul, was
living, I used to leave all the discipline to him.

You know, I think there's something in this European
idea about a man being master of the house, don't you?

Well.

I'm a person who very seldom expresses an opinion.

When I do, it's from my heart.

I'm sorry.

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons.

As this twice as nice morning continues, here on TV Land.

I'm a person who very seldom expresses an opinion.