08x11 - Welcome to My Nightmare

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.

Those days of soda and pretzels and beer.

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.

There now, that wasn't bad, was it?

Well, I feel a little weak, but I can take it, Doc.

My screaming didn't bother you, did it?

No, not at all.

Would you sign this for Mr. Delvecchio?

Sure, nurse.

Excuse me.

Sure.

You know, the young people seem a little
reluctant to donate.

I'm frankly disappointed.

Well, you just wait till my partner Fonzie gets here.

When he gives his blood, they're gonna beg to give it.

I don't know if we can wait too much longer.

You know, we have to be at the American
Legion Hall pretty soon.

Oh, are they giving or getting?

I didn't realize how weak I was.

Jenny, the game is tomorrow, and you
haven't even tried to get a date.

Oh, I've tried.

But I don't want to ask just anybody.

All right, who'd you ask?

Everybody.

Did you ask Eugene?

Eugene?

As in Eugene Belvin?

Well, sure.

Oh, Chachi says he's crazy about you.

Well, why shouldn't he be?

Jenny, why is it that you drool over every
man in the United States except Eugene?

Because you have to draw the line somewhere.

Okay, Eugene, there she is.

Now, let's see you strut your stuff and ask her.

I can't.

I already asked her out once.

And she turned you down?

She turned me upside down.

All my change fell out of my pockets.

And my retainer.

Now, listen, Eugene, I don't want you to give up.

Do you realize that I went after Joanie for two years?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here's what I want you to do.

I want you to go over there and say,
Jenny, would you like to go out with me?

Then all four of us will go to Green Bay,
watch the ball game, and have a great time.

What do you say?

Yeah, you're right.

Hold my change.

You got it.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Come on, Eugene.

Hi, Chachi.

Hi, Jenny.

Say hello to Eugene.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello, Jenny.

I can't.

You can't.

I won't.

You will.

Uh, Jenny, Eugene here would like to know if
you want to go to the Green Bay game tomorrow.

She'd love to.

You see that, Eugene?

All it takes is a little bit of courage.

I knew I can do it.

Wow, a date.

I'm going to go right home and start bathing.

Thank you, Jenny.

Thank you.

Eugene, stop groveling.

I go with my strength.

Go home and bathe.

All over.

Yeah.

This is strange.

Kid, you know that?

Jones, what have you done to me?

Oh, Jenny, I got you a date.

That's better than staying home alone, isn't it?

Hey, Parker, how's everything?

Hey, we're talking a rough day here, you know?

Everybody down in the garage got the flu,
they go home, watch soap operas.

I think I'm getting it, too, you know?

Except I go to work.

They always say, hey, leave it to the Fonz.

Hey, Fonz.

You didn't forget about tomorrow, did you?

No, I love tomorrow.

I always think about tomorrow.

What's tomorrow?

Packer game.

We're doubling with Jenny and Eugene.

She's dating him?

Yeah.

What'd she do?

Give up men?

Oh, you could say that.

Listen, Fonz, you promised to loan us one
of the cars from the garage.

Here you go.

Thanks a lot.

I'll see you later.

Oh, you do me a favor.

We're going to check on it tomorrow morning.

I don't want it breaking down on us.

I understand that.

All right, thanks a lot.

I'll see you later.

See you later.

Bye, Chachi.

See ya.

Hey, Fonz.

Hey.

How you doing?

Have a seat, Fonz.

Have a seat.

Yeah, that's nice.

What do you want?

Me?

Fonz, I need a favor.

Of course.

Look, I want to go scout our next
basketball opponents, and I wondered if

you could take over my phys-ed class on Monday.

Nothing special.

Just maybe a few calisthenics,
maybe a couple times around the track.

Sure, sure.

I'm physically educated.

I'll do it.

Yeah, all right.

Thanks, Fonz.

Hey, Fonz.

Fonz, you gotta help me out.

I just got off the phone with Courtney.

You see, I'm tutoring this girl in my psychology class.

Perfectly innocent, really.

But Courtney doesn't trust me with her.

Could you tell her I was with you last night?

Who's gonna believe that?

Oh, please, Fonz.

It's one telephone call.

My dime.

Sure, I got nothing else to do.

Aw.

Aw, thanks, Fonz.

I knew you were my best friend.

Let's not push it.

Hey, Fonz, you need a nice hot cup of tea.

Yeah, you know, somebody's gonna come up
to me and say, can I have your blood?

Is this Fonzarelli?

Yeah, this is him.

How'd you like to give us some of your blood?

What do I, a prophet?

It would only take a minute, and it would
encourage the others.

Yeah, it's for a good cause, Fonz.

I do not want little needles in my arm.

Oh, Fonz, I would consider this a personal favor to me.

Hmm.

That's a good thing to lie down.

Right over here?

Sure.

All right, ladies, I want you to watch.

I'm setting a very good example here.

Want me to fix your car, too, huh?

No, no, that won't be necessary.

Just... Uh-oh.

What are you gonna do, take it out of my face?

No, no, Mr. Fonzarelli, I'm afraid I'm
gonna have to give you a rain check.

You are hot.

Yeah, everybody knows that.

No, I mean, you're kind of feverish.

You might be coming down with the flu or something.

I can't take any blood from you today.

Oh, well, isn't that a shame?

Here we are, Arthur, this nice hot tea
with honey and lemon.

Oh, you know, Arthur, with Richard gone and Joanie almost
grown up, I hardly ever get to act like anybody's mother.

I'm so glad someone is sick.

Well, you know what I mean.

I'll tell you something, Mr. C, you are an angel of mercy.

Everybody else, they just can't wait for
me to do a favor for them.

You know, it's like their little lives are
gonna stop if I'm not there.

They just want to take my blood, you know?

Well, Arthur, your friends need you, and
they admire you so much because you're cool.

Right after my blood, they're gonna take my cool.

How could they get your cool?

And besides, I don't think everybody you
know wants you to do them a favor.

Would you like to watch some television?

Yeah, Channel 9, please, will you?

That's a shriek theater.

Oh, those will give you nightmares.

Uh-uh, I don't dream.

Really?

Yeah, I don't have to.

There you are.

Thanks a lot.

Now, don't be afraid.

Uh-uh.

Welcome to Shriek Theater.

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I knew that was a classic.

And now, Frankenstein's Doctor.

Everybody wants something from me, you know?

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

May we come in?

No!

Now, who could that be?

Please, all I want to do is use your phone.

I said no.

My foot!

Did I hurt you?

Yes.

Good.

Good.

Listen, buddy, this is an emergency,
and we won't take no for an answer.

All right, but please hurry.

If the master finds out, I'm sure he'll
think what he's doing to me.

You're dating him?

Chachi, call Fonzie.

Let's get out of here.

Please, please hurry, because if the master
comes here, please do it before he arrives.

Igor!

It's too late.

Yes, master!

Well, well, what have we here?

Igor, you disobeyed me.

So, these teenagers have come to visit
Castle Ludlow uninvited.

Oh, is this Castle Ludlow we thought it
was, the House of Pancakes?

We'll beat you.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Dr. Ludlow, is it?

Yes.

Yeah, look, we didn't mean to barge in.

It's just that the clutch in our car gave out.

I know, I know.

You do, you do?

Yes.

I know all things that transpire on this highway.

We just want to use the phone.

Are you insane?

Listen, tall, dark, and gruesome.

How'd you like to give me a big sloppy kiss?

I have not kissed a woman in five years.

I get her by one year.

What is the big deal?

Now, if you let me call my cousin Fonzie,
he'll come right down and pick us up.

Wait, wait, wait.

What, what, what?

Did you say?

Fonzie?

Fonzie as in Arthur Fonzarelli?

Yeah.

What, you know him?

Do I know him?

Do I know him?

Not personally.

Wait, wait, wait.

You look like him.

You look like him.

We are cousins.

Blood relations?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, good.

Go call him immediately.

Oh, thanks a lot.

You see that?

I knew that if I just explained it,
everything would be fine.

Come on.

Hey, let's stick together.

Hey, this is a miracle.

How did you know to let them in?

I just had a hunch.

Fonz, Fonz, Fonz, could you please hurry?

Okay.

We're at 13 Fools Lane.

Yeah, it's the first castle on your left.

It's the one with all the dead fruit on the trees.

You can't miss it, Fonz.

All right, thanks a lot, Fonz.

Bye-bye.

He's on his way.

Did you hear that, Igor?

Yes, it means that Fonzie is coming.

Yes, he's coming, but he's never leaving.

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Jimmy Carter, a leader for a change.

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These are my servants, Lucretia and Boris.

Come, Igor, come.

And we prepare for our under guest.

Would you care for a soft drink, sir?

Is it dietetic?

I'm trying to lose weight.

It must be the last person who drank it
disappeared completely.

Oh, great food.

Oh, boy.

Mmm.

What is this, fried chicken?

Better.

Fried bat wings.

Too hot?

Let's get out of here.

The whole thing is giving me the heebie-jeebies.

Fonzie will be here soon, all right?

Just take it easy.

Listen to the lady, sir.

It isn't safe here.

Get out while you still can.

We can.

Our car broke down.

Our car broke down, too.



We've been here ever since.

Ever since.

Ever since.

Ever since.

Gee, gee, gee, what a nice couple.

You know why?

What?

We can wait for Fonzie outside.

He's right here.

Shh.

Going someplace?

Good work.

Good work, Igor.

Tonight you get an extra bone for supper.

Dr. Bumba, what do you want with us?

From you, nothing.

It's your cousin, Fonzie.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

What do you want Fonzie for?

I will tell you, but first, I have a
little surprise for you.

What's that?

Surprise!

Please will you tell us, what fiendish
plan do you have for Fonzie and us?

For the past 20 years, I've been laboring on an
all-consuming project to create the world's greatest lover.

And I use your cousin, Fonzie, as a pattern.

Why do you want to build the world's greatest lover?

To get girls, you dopey guy.

I could live on his overflow.

Up till now, it's been one failure after the other.

Would you like to see my first experiment?

I'll show you.

Now, you see, the girls liked him, but not in that way.

Then, on my second experiment, I came much, much closer.

This was also good, except he wouldn't eat.

But now, on my third experiment,
I am coming much, much closer.

Wait, it's Fonzie!

Fonzie!

No, no, it's Doggie.

Doggie?

Yes, yes, he looks like Fonzie.

He is missing the one essential ingredient.

Cool.

Cool?

Cool, yes.

Cool is the only element in the universe
that I cannot make from scratch.

When Fonzie gets here, you're
gonna... I'm gonna... You're gonna...

I'm gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna drain him of all his cool.

Yeah.

What will Fonzie be like after you drain his cool?

You want to see what Fonzie will be like?

Igor, give him a zap.

Hello, Doggie.

Hello.

How are you today, Doggie?

I'm okay.

Doggie, you want to go over to Jukebox and make nice music?

Okay.

No, there's no music.

You quit.

Wait.

Get worse.

Elaine, Elaine, come here.

Come here.

Doggie.

Doggie, Doggie.

Okay.

No more dancing.

Now, here is Elaine.

Pretty girl.

Over here.

Over here is girl.

Come on, Doggie.

Come on.

Make nice.

Make a date with her.

Hello.

Hello.

Want to go out with me?

No.

Not on a bath.

Not on a bath.

Oh, please.

Please.

I cannot take any more of this.

Hold.

Cut the switch.

Cut the switch.

Oh.

Are you all right?

Here we go.

Whoa.

Here we go.

Oh.

Nice.

Okay.

Up here.

Up here.

That's it.

Okay.

Here we go.

Take that with you.

Once more.

Give it a zap.

Will you?

Zap.

Okay.

Good.

I don't know.

Maybe we should just shave the monkey.

That's about it.

Now, soon Fonzie will be here and when he comes,
I will drain out all of his pool and put it in to doggy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

My prayers have been answered.

Oh.

I knew it would pay to be a good little boy.



.

It ain't the house of pancakes, buddy.

All right, handsome, let's get on with it, huh?

I'm double-parking.

Who can tell there's so much fog out there?

I'm looking for Chachi and his friends.

Fonz!

What are you doing up there on the wall?

Get down, Fonz!

Is this any way to treat a person in his house to be a...

You gotta forgive me.

You know how many teenagers nowadays get off their walls.

Fonz, listen.

Fonz, this guy is weird.

He chained us up here.

Fonz, he wants to take your cool.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

This carnival left town without him, huh?

You got my friends right off this wall right here.

I'll tell you something.

We're gonna use your face for a treasure hunt.

Yeah.

Not this time, my friend.

And unless you get up on this table,
I will pull this lever, sending billions

of votes through your little fans and
giving them a sunburn from the inside out.

Hey, he's trying to bluff a bluff.

I am not bluffing.

I'll show you who's bluffing.

No, no.

Turn off that rotisserie.

All right, I'll do it.

You let my friends go.

Oh, thank you, Fonz.

Thank you, Fonz.

I love you, man.

All right, Igor.

All right, Igor.

We have him.

All right, Igor.

Start it going.

All right, this ain't gonna bother me.

My resistance is too strong.

Igor.

Put it in overdrive.

Now all of the cool is draining out of
Fonzie and going into Dougie.

No, no.

Come on, come on.

Fight him, fight him.

Come on, come on.

Watch the thumbs.

Watch the thumbs.

Watch the thumbs.

Watch the thumbs.

Watch the thumbs.

Fonz!

Oh, no.

Fonz, you okay?

Oh.

You know something?

This entire room could be rejuvenated with
just, like, curtains.

I don't know.

Who did your stone work, but it was done by a creeper.

Oh, what did you have to take so much?

Easy.

Easy.

Easy.

Easy.

Easy.

Easy.

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Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Arthur!

Arthur, I'm here!

I'm right here with you!

There!

Wake up!

Where's the doctor?

Oh, Arthur, you've been so sick!

You have been asleep for almost two days!

Oh, we were so worried about you, and
your friends were so worried about you!

What are you talking about, friends?

I don't got friends, I got leeches.

Everybody wants something from me,
and then they just leave me there, right?

Picking out curtains.

Well, that shows you how little you know.

You know, Chachi has been doing everything
at your garage, and Joanie spent the whole

weekend wiping off your hot, sweaty little brow.

Oh, yeah?

My class.

And Roger has taken over your auto shop class?

You see, everyone has done everything they could.

You help them, Arthur, and they help you.

It's just that your friends need you more
often than you need them.

I could dig that.

Yeah.

Where's Mr. C?

Well, Arthur, with you being sick,
he has done nothing but stay upstairs in

your apartment, answer your phone, take all your messages.

If he did that for me, he is one of them.

You know, when they made him, they ate the mold.

You know what, I really love you a lot.

Goodbye, grey sky, hello blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you tight.

Next up, I Dream of Jeannie.