01x01 - My Left Fang

[bunniefuu]

foreign

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but where's Wales did you sound oh where's the wallet

[Applause]

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where where where where's Bali oh where's Riley

where's the wallet did you say I'm home

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thank you

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where's Wally

[Applause]

there he is welcome to a new adventure with our wild

wacky and handsome hero Wally there's Molly's house let's see what

he's up to whoops sorry wrong house

oh here we are I hope what this souvenir brings back great memories of King pubai

he had seven eyes three near-sighted three farsighted and one short-sighted huh

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white beard when's the last time you had a smog check well so long enjoyed my visit I'm

off as soon as I remember where I'm going oh white beard you just got here oh yeah right hey time flies when you're

having fun Waldo I mean Wally foreign

I'll tell you listen to your wise and Wizard's words

okay let's see here in the land where ghost head goblins live there's a vamp named Fang says the wise and will to be

human is his only Quest Whitebeard has spoken you figured a rest all right I think I need a nap thank you

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I've got to find out how he does that hmm a vamp named Fang why would they call him that gum woof a

wondrous wild adventure awaits without

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hey it's either the land of the nasty nasties or Cleveland on a really good day there's only one way to find out

yep yep hold that portal yeah during today's

story see if you can find a scary bat that belts home runs a ghost with a

polka dot hat a prisoner with extra long arms I'll get that walking stick nothing will stop me now

now there's a carriage Fit For A King

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or a couple of striped adventurers driver take us to the nearest Vamp with

a prominent overbite and don't spare the horses at last I've got it made

almost like I always say woof heck the fun is getting there and like I always say

don't judge a driver by his Carriage you could say that again by his guy awaken

the children of the night I'm pretending

that's a phenomenon of nature the only mammals in the world that can fly it's our lucky night wolf

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it's a home run observe what rare South American fruit bat

or on second thoughts would you believe a rare vampire bat foreign

say hello to the little terrifying monster

happen welcome little winged Wanderer perhaps or have you somewhere oh the peppermint bear brought a big

birthday cake to the party from the script

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foreign

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Ty living but a living sheesh I'd be dead if I weren't already

the Living Dead what observe is overbite what does that tell you

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precisely he could be the fabled Fang of whitebeard's mystery or he could be a

bat with a rotten orthodontist forgive my rudeness we didn't introduce ourselves when you first dropped in

that's woof woof and I'm Wally pleased to meet you my name's Fang and believe

it you don't want to know me oh dear why not hey look at these eyes look at these

teeth I'm a blood-shocking disgusting vampire and those are my good points and so

while he tells this toothy little bat about the wizard sending them to help him huh

help me give me half a chance and I'll bite your neck trust me I'm no fun oh I

give anything to be human have you tried everything look Wally there's only one cue of a vampire Rhythm it's on a scroll and

Castle Dracula beyond that I am but as fate and this cartoon would have it

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I've got clues for use yeah I bet she keeps them in her Clues closet yeah

sing carefully the room with the tomb is behind the person with the children

[Laughter]

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wow talk about your bit Parts Joe I better get what's left of me to the castle

meanwhile who should arise out of that miserable wreck of a wreckage but the wreck of a miserable vampire king or the

evening and welcome I am the vampire king and you Valley shall be my next week though not wheelie but hey lunch is

on me you're gonna love I mean love this mama waldolini spaghetti with extra

garlic I love to welcome new victims here

a nice day huh garlic the one seed that will stop a vampire

that is if you don't count sunlight silver b*ll*ts in a wooden stake medium rare just you've r*ped you worm in his

worm and I've returned see I can't stand the thought of growing

up to be a big pain in the neck like him they're there my little thirsty friend I have the Clue the turtle with the tomb

room and the portal huh or I have the room portal with the tomb turtle

um

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when walking stick is mine I'll use it to swipe all the gold in Fort Knox ah

wow talk about a one-track mind but fast I've got to find a way to beat those

best striped buffoons oh welcome to honest Hester's used robot

I'll stand on my face to make a deal looks like somebody already did

all I've got is three nickels

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jokes on her it was used pocket lint that broom's got over a hundred thousand

miles on it I just turned back bristles meanwhile Adler was stuttering off on an

unregistered room Charlie and though because

I explained to you buddy you're gonna find that tiny scroll in

this huge castle we'll just have to rely on our razor sharp memories right Fred

that's Fang oh boy are we in trouble oh no

I know how you feel wolf I mean this place gives me the creeps and I'm a vampire

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Excuse me while I have an anxiety attack hold the attack we're a riddle away from relief

listen to your mummy the room with the tomb is behind the portal with the total

room tomb portal Charter got it wait a minute kid there's more the rest of your

quest is in the Box the quest of the boxes with the rest of

the locks

[Applause]

the rest of your chortle is in the room with the locks got it you that's the last time I buy a used

broom from a loopy witch now where'd they go

nice doggy nice but mean

we'll search every inch of this Castle I've seen enough horror movies to warn you beware of secret panel

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ah rolling you might say our hero has reached a

dead end you might say that greetings I'm Clyde

hi Jake the rest but I'm pressed for time I must find the box in my room with the locks I mean um we have plenty of rocks in our health

club what a coinkydink I'll follow your strike Clyde all is history wolf I got a great idea

let's give up

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hey a health club Dungeon what do they think of next

we interrupt fangs binding to ask the all-important question where's Wally find him before it's too late too late

for what you ask oh man I don't see Wally anywhere you don't have to you're not a viewer it

looks like we'll never find our hero you know what that means Mr narrator's out of the gig

look on the bright side now you can watch TV without a remote

the walking stick is within my grasp almost sorry members only I was just browsing

get your hand and your hand and your hand and your hand off me have a very important person well pardoname w*r

allow me to escort you to our VIP Suite

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watch it I'm ticklish this is our state-of-the-art luxury cruncher

everything

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ah be careful of those buttons who are done

whoops sorry oh how are we ever gonna get you out of this good question Maestro some music

please thank you thank you but enough entertainment for now let's get back to

our show foreign

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but we are done with your VIP treatment oh yes we are

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aha doors another word for portal and which door is it you have three

tries is it door number one laughs

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go away we don't want any

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you lose points is it door number two

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oh you lose again and he's going for door number three

come on Wolf be a sport wow

Eureka it laughs better yet this portal Turtles nothing to it and that's what

you win nothing

[Laughter]

who is that guy no time for that now Fang you're going to be human before you know it it's room with the tomb okay so

where's a scroll easy the rest of our Quest lies within the box with the locks

it's about time that's the vampire King's course when let's get the straw before he comes back

okay well I guess this wraps up our mystery oh no it doesn't hmm

he's using my scroll as a bedroll nothing can wake him oh it's hopeless nothing's hopeless it's the first rule

of all humans the second rule is always buy shoes late in the day after your feet have expanded

don't be fooled by that finger in his ear Wally's thinking he looks like he's

got it I've got it and so well he sent out a batch of better Grand party invitations to all the Goblins in town

wow just look at all the RSVPs

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Journeys but I find out who's behind his outrage

I'm going to make him pay with blood

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no scroll here just last month's copy of play ghoul magazine aha a secret compartment

it's the scroll it's another riddle to change who you are you must be a good sport get under

the moon and covert with a wart to vote with a what oh great where are we gonna

find a wart this time of night huh where else from a witch in Flight it

looks like the welcome committee from Wards R Us

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I'm in luck I'll just snatch the stickers of Wally walks by cheer up Fang

soon you'll be as normal as I am don't try to talk me out of it

: minuteswho can once again volley by tricky victim and this time hold the garlic

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foreign

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we don't need a broom but we are in the market for a wart if you've got one to spare to change who you are you must be a good

sport get under the moon and covert with a wart s oh you say you want warts oh well

you've come to the right place oh I need someone to turn into a frog and a tip okay here's a great tip never hold your

nose and sneeze with your mouth closed geez no not before I threw my face out

let's see who can I turn into a frog ah oh

we have a volunteer from the audience any last words rabbit rabbit I thought I ordered human

what's this frog thing as fate would have it along the sidewalk

Santa that beautiful princess

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and so the beautiful princess's kids turned the ugly frog into a nerd but what a price to pay are you doll you

want to see my collection of incredibly dull paper clips sounds fabulous let's go

oh at last my vampire Knights are over I'm a human oh how can I ever thank

Wally Wally where is Bali where'd he go find him

fast so we can end the show you can stick around for another seconds and find him but I've got another show to

narrate see ya

hit it

[Applause]

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where is Wally

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oh where's Wale

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foreign

[Applause]