01x07 - Maybe It's Mackerel

[bunniefuu]

[Annie] Previously on Sterling Point…

[Annie] I drank way too much,
then I went home with Rory.

-You had sex with Rory?
-[shushes]

-Annie?
-[Annie] Dad.

-What?
-What are you doing here?

[Annie] And now I'm like,
does this mess up the Ellis thing?

Ellis, sometimes
I can't tell if you hate me.

I actually can't even think of one thing
I don't like about you.

You're so beautiful.

[Annie] I didn't really, like,
experience my childhood.

Annie, you don't need to be fixed, though.

[Annie] What happened, Dad?

Your mom didn't wanna
live in New York anymore.

She filed for divorce and refused
to bring you guys back home.

It sounds to me
like she was unhappy in her life,

and so she came here
to try to make things better,

and I don't understand
why that's an insane thing to do.

'Cause she came up here and lost her mind!

You know what happened to Goldie,
and it sure as hell wasn't me.

It was the biggest mistake of her life.

I know she didn't love you anymore.

[grunts]

-f*ck!
-[Kate] Were you in love with her?

Is Ramona yours?

Joe is your dad, Ramona.

You two knew?

You said, "No more secrets."

-No--
-Ramona. Hey, Ramona, wait.

[Sully] Ramona.

Wait!

Ramona!

["Ain't Quite Right" playing]

Ramona!

Ramona!

Ramona! Girl, where are you?

[Annie] Ramona!

[Ellis] Ramona!

[Annie] Where else could she go?

She could be anywhere, honestly.

I've actually never felt like
a more terrible person.

I feel like I ruined her life.

No. Annie, no. This isn't your fault.

This is on our dads.

They're the ones
who should feel like sh*t.

[exhales]

She couldn't have gone that far, right?

I feel like she wouldn't do that to Oona.

I don't think she'd do it
to her sister either.

We'll find her.

Ramona!

Ramona!

[Denise] Tell me about
this philosopher who lived in a barrel.

-Yeah, his name is Diogenes. And he--
-Who?

-How you know all this sh*t?
-He'd pee in the street and stuff. It was…

-[chuckles]
-Oh, hi.

-[Denise] Anything?
-No.

[Denise] Any news?

What about Joe? Where is he?

Uh, I think he's also
out there looking for her.

Good. As he should be.

Do you think she's f*cking with us?

Ramona? Absolutely. She's fine.

I ran away, like, a hundred times
when I was a youth.

Mom, what is wrong with you?

What?

You're fully responsible
for a missing 17-year-old.

How am I fully responsible, honey?

Ramona needed the truth and I was
the only one willing to say anything.

-But that's inappropriate.
-Like, honestly, I mean, you kinda ate.

Wild move, and I respect it.

Thanks, Connor. See? Not everybody thinks
that I'm the worst person in the world.

-She's your sister, Connor.
-Yeah. And I love my g*y sister.

Tell Steven I'm in the boathouse.

Okay, sweetie.

He just weaned off his Wellbutrin,

and I think he needs that
on top of the Lexapro.

That is a successful combo.

Right?

-It's not about you.
-Yeah, I know that.

-Okay, let it out.
-No, I hate crying.

I don't like it when you bottle things up.
Just come here, please.

Just… I got you, baby.

[Oona crying] Just, like, is she gone?

'Cause she literally disappeared
for a year.

[Sully] Let's think this through.
She took the tinner,

she can't be found on the lakes,
and she clearly wants to be far away

from everyone here,
which I totally understand.

Did you check to see if Gordon's car
is still parked in town?

[Oona] Oh, my God. [sniffles]

I forgot she had his car.

-Girl…
-Right. Yeah, okay.

She obviously took it.
But where would she go?

She probably went home to Barrie.

Oh, my God. You are a literal genius.

-Thank you. Yeah.
-It's just common sense.

Is there any chance that your mums
would let us take the food truck?

-Not in this lifetime, babes.
-Why?

-You've totaled three cars.
-No, it was one.

It was three. It was three.
I was there, and it was three.

But I do know somebody
who does have a car.

Ta-da.

Take your pick.

Yeah. She'll do.

Yeah. Okay. Perfect.

That's… That's my dad's favorite.

Thank you.

Um, and then just to review,
so the "R" stands for…

-"Reverse."
-"Reverse." I knew that. Okay, great.

And the "D"? The "D"…

-Oona, "drive."
-Amazing.

Amazing. You did it. You passed the test.

That's it. Ah, well done.

Do you even know what to do
at a red light?

You ask her out to dinner.

What is this, with the left-hand
steering wheel thing?

Okay, the total comes to $175 even.
Will that be cash or charge today?

Last time I was here,
your son said you were cash only.

[customer 2] Dude, that was
annoying as hell.

We had to drive 30 minutes

for some machine to spit out cash.

Uh, sorry. [hesitating] System must've
been down. I apologize for that.

You should look into that.

Here you go.

And these.

Please.

[Joe] Any word from her?

No. I'm heading back out with Annie.

[Joe] Your mom found the tape.

[sighs]

I left it for you.
I didn't think she'd find it.

Yeah, well, she did.

And I found the money.

[sighing] $7,345, Ellis?

Where the hell did this come from? What…

Are you dealing or something? What…

You think I'm dealing drugs? Wow.

You are so checked out,
it's actually insane.

-Don't avoid the question.
-From the man who hid something so massive

from everyone our whole lives?
What do you mean?

Look, I f*cked up.
You think I don't know that?

I am trying to make sure that you don't.

[sighs]

I've been…
I've been overcharging people.

-What?
-Yeah, just $50 here and there. So what?

Why would you do that?

Because you're stupid not to.

-Ellis, watch it.
-50 bucks is nothing to these rich people.

Fifty bucks over and over is
everything to us.

-We're fine.
-No!

No, we're not!

Mom works nights and holidays
'cause the marina's barely scraping by,

and you won't raise the prices
and run the business as you should.

-Yeah, what's the money for?
-For a f*ck' safety net.

We need six more tinners.

-We need to fix the roof.
-We're gonna get all those things, Ellis.

-We're fine.
-You're in denial, Dad.

And, apparently,
you have been my whole life.

-You're her dad.
-I'm sorry. I…

I…

-I never wanted it to come out like this.
-What was your plan, then?

Did you even have one?

-I don't…
-See?

This is exactly what I mean.

Ellis, just…

Okay.

[knocking at door]

[sighing]

If I wasn't so happy to see you,
I would be so furious right now.

Please don't do that again.

Okay.

Sorry. I know it's, like, very depressing.

No. Hey, do not apologize for that, okay?

Yeah.

I mean, if you're gonna apologize,
you should apologize for just--

For what? Being born in the first place?

No.

No.

Hey, don't do that.

Look, you can do that with everyone else
for the rest of your life if you want.

You can disappear, you can go dark,
go quiet, take space.

None of that is off limits,
and there is no judgment.

But you can't bail on me, okay?

Tell me what you're feeling right now
in this second.

I feel like this…

leftover problem
everyone has to deal with.

God, I hate being back here.

It's just all so dark

and… scary.

How are you not scared of it?

Or me?

Because I love you.

["Wishes" playing]

I do.

I really, really love you.

I love you too.

Can we please go home now?

[chuckles] Yeah.

Annie?

Hello?

[whispering] Ellis. Hey.

I like this.

[Annie] See? What did I tell you?
They always calm me down.

-Closets.
-Right?

Thank God something's working, 'cause
my next resort was a thunder jacket.

[chuckles] I'm sorry. A what?

-Do you not know what that is?
-A thunder jacket?

It's like a…

It's like a jacket for anxious dogs.

It's supposed to feel like
a really tight hug.

-Oh. Right.
-Yeah.

Sounds kind of nice, no?

Yeah.

Does it work?

Apparently. We'll see when I get one.

Well, come here then.

["Rowing Song" playing]

[softly] Why are you so good at this?

[softly] I don't really know
how to answer that.

It's okay. Just do it again.

Steven, we're alone.

[Steven clears throat]

We are on an island
in the middle of nowhere, Canada.

If you need to get something
off your chest, you should,

'cause I know you're not okay right now.

What makes you think that?

Do you think I'm the bad guy?

I don't think it matters.

Well, here I am again,
fighting for my family.

Trying to bring my kids home. Again.

Annie hates my guts,
just like her mother did.

So, I don't know. I think it might.

Annie was always a well-behaved kid,
but she was angry,

mostly at me.

And I thought, when she grows up,
she'll figure out I'm not the bad guy.

I didn't take her mom away. I didn't…

wreck this family.

In kindergarten, she had to draw
this portrait of our family,

so she drew the three of us,
Connor, herself, and me, at the park.

I'm pushing Connor on a swing,

but she's over there by herself, alone.

She said she was lookin' for somethin'.

I mean, even in kindergarten,
she could feel what she'd lost, you know?

Her mom, her birth family, her sister.

Any chance at a normal childhood.

She knew.

Honey, it was a powder keg.
It was always gonna blow.

But everybody survived, and now you can
just put the pieces back together.

-I don't know if that'll happen.
-Hey.

Honey, you did the best you could.

But does it even matter?

[sighs]

That's all you left me?

["Hey There Cowgirl" playing]

Oh, okay. Ow! Ow!

Okay, don't take it out on me,
Mommy, please?

Connor, do you think
she really likes Ellis?

I don't know.
Her only other boyfriend was g*y.

-Right.
-God, I miss Oliver.

-That's interesting.
-[groans]

Should I tell her that I kissed
Bruno Garcia in fifth grade?

-I kissed that guy a couple times.
-Do whatever you want. Nobody cares.

-I care. I care a lot.
-[groaning]

-We connected in a lot of ways.
-Okay, ew.

I want her to feel like
she can communicate with me.

I feel, generally, pretty good
receiving feedback. You know that.

And so, it's like, if I've done something

-that's made her pull away…
-[yelps]

…I wanna know, so I can--

Okay, Rory, Rory, I'm gonna scream.
Can we please switch?

-Dude, for sure.
-Oh, my God! Oh, my f*cking God!

-I'm sorry.
-[groans]

All right. You want me to go deep?

Yeah, you can go deep, 'cause I carry
a lot of tension in my glutes.

Listen, man, it's never gonna work out
between them.

I mean, Annie is not the Canadian bacon,
crunchy granola girl next door.

She's cosplaying.

-Right.
-When she gets back to the city,

and realizes she's been dicking around
all summer

instead of learning a new language
or solving the Pythagorean theorem,

she's gonna freak out
and forget all about Ellis.

You're endgame, sweetie.

-Oh, my God! [screams]
-Whoa!

Ramona [hesitating] Lee…

-Lee.
-Lee. Ramona Lee Campbell!

-You can never do that again. Ever.
-I'm sorry.

No. I was worried sick about you.

-We were all worried sick.
-I know. I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry.
-I'm so sorry, because I was…

-I should've told you about Joe, but I--
-[shushes] Stop. No.

It's completely his fault.

It's, like, actually insane,
when you think about it.

I went to Barrie
to talk to Gordon's lawyer.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

I can get Joe to sign some paperwork
to give up the guardianship or whatever.

Just, like, that way I can move on
and do whatever I want.

Like, I don't know,

live on my own…

or marry Oona and get a cat

and open a butterfly sanctuary
and live happily ever after.

[Annie] Okay,
I wanna unpack all of that, but…

Are you sure that that's what you want?
For Joe to not be involved at all?

Yeah.

Yeah. No, Gordon was my dad.

f*ck all this swooping-in-now sh*t.
I can take care of myself.

Well, I will support
whatever you wanna do here.

-Thank you.
-Yeah, of course.

Who brought you back?

Oona.

Your eyes literally started sparkling
when you said that.

-[both laugh]
-Is it, like, love love?

Yeah. Yeah.

How do you know that? How does that…

-What does that feel like?
-[chuckles]

Have you ever gone fishing in the rain?

No. Sorry. Of course not.

Um… [chuckles]

You know that feeling when…

when someone jumps out and scares you,
and you almost piss your pants,

and you think your heart's gonna explode,
it's pounding so fast?

And five seconds later, you're fine.

But you also feel like…

you've never felt more alive.

It's kinda like that.

Wow. No days off, huh?

[scoffs]

Like, how… How are we related?

I'm so much cooler than you.
It just doesn't make any sense.

Right.

-Yeah. Of course you are.
-Yeah.

-I'll give it to you.
-Thanks.

No offense, but…

Joe isn't my dad.

Like, he just… He just isn't.

You can be my half-brother, though.

I'll allow it.

[chuckles] Let me think about that one.

-You have to think?
-I'll think about it.

Wow. Ouch, man.

Knife to the heart.

You know, the only weird thing now is,
like, I just found out I have siblings,

and now my half-brother
and my sister are, like…

All right.

-Bow chick-a wow-wow.
-All right. This is when we go.

-Go? What do you mean?
-We're going.

Yeah, we're going.
We're leaving on this boat.

This one?

-[Ramona] Yeah.
-No, we're not.

-[Ramona] Yes, we are.
-No. Get your feet off the seats.

-Jesus.
-You get in here. Get in!

[Ellis] This is the Gallaghers' boat.
Remember the Gallaghers?

-Remember Tom?
-I don't care. This is nice.

[Ellis] Get your freaking feet
off the freaking seats.

-Jesus.
-This is nice. Wait, I wanna…

This is nice!

-[Ellis] I can't even drive this boat.
-Yeah, you can. The key is right there.

["Moonlight Sonata III Presto Agitato"
playing on piano]

[Annie] Dad?

[sighs softly]

-Wow. Oh, sorry.
-No. sh*t!

Whoa…

Sorry. I was just looking
for my dad. Uh…

That… I…

I thought you couldn't really play.

I can't. That's not…

-I wasn't playing. Yeah.
-Really? 'Cause…

That was… I was just…

playing…

Uh…

Well, that was really, really beautiful.

-Thanks.
-Is my dad here?

He… I think my mom took him out
on the boat, but they'll be back soon.

Okay. Thank you.

That's okay.

You wanna wait? We can have a little…

-Can have a…
-[chuckles]

I only smoke weed when I can't sleep.

Makes me feel like I'm on the news.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Or when I…

When I don't really know
what to do with my hands.

When do you leave?

-Tomorrow.
-Thank you. Wow.

Yeah.

I don't start for, like, a couple weeks,

but they make you move in
to do all the dorm stuff.

Right. The dorm stuff.

-Yeah.
-[chuckles]

Um…

You can tell me if this is, like,

way too forward of a move, okay?

But, um, my dad's best friend
from high school

is on the board at Wharton.

Yeah. Finally got my dad on the phone.

I'm talking to him,

and he said he would introduce
the two of you,

-to talk about the admissions process.
-sh*t. Wow.

Or even, like,
he'd probably write you a rec.

Or set you up in the best possible way
for when you apply.

And I don't want you to feel, like…

'Cause my dad helped him with his son.
He got him, like,

this job at his dream law firm in D.C.,
so he owes him one.

Like, um…. Yeah.

You know, I may stay here, actually.

And do what?

And live.

But nobody lives here.

People live here.

No, I know people… I know.

Wait, for real?

Is this about Ellis?

[sighing]

Sorry, I'm…

-No…
-Nah, I shouldn't have said…

You're good, you're good. Um…

I don't know how to…

-I have just a lot going on at the moment.
-Yeah, I know.

No, there's just… I'm in a bit of a…

cloud. Um…

[shop bell jingles]

Hi.

[sighs]

Well…

Look, Ramona,
I know that you are angry with me. I just…

I wanted to give you some space
for a second, you know?

Giving space seems
to really be your move, eh?

I wanted to respect what Gordon wanted.

He had just lost his daughter,

and you were the closest thing
he had to her.

And he's an incredible father. I knew…

-I knew he'd give you the best life.
-And what if she didn't die?

What were you gonna do then?

The plan was that I was gonna leave Kate,
and your mom would leave Steven,

and we were gonna…

We were gonna raise you
all here, together.

Kate and Steven
would just go along with that?

So instead,
you and Gordon decided to just

keep us apart for our entire lives.

-Why?
-Ramona, it was so complicated,

and we were a mess, you know?

The one person that we needed to have
this conversation with wasn't here.

And Steven, he had his wants.

Gordon didn't want you to carry the burden
of what had happened to your mom.

And we just, at least at first,
thought this would make everyone happier.

But then,

you know, when the shock of it all
wore off with time…

I don't know. It…

It was k*lling me.

It was k*lling me. Just every single day,

I felt like I was dying just a little bit

because I knew this isn't
what your mom would've wanted.

And Gordon knew it too.

And so he tried to reconnect you guys.
I mean, he really did.

If Gordon… If Gordon had ever decided
to sell the cottage for some reason,

or if we never came to Muskoka, would you…

Would you have tried to find me?

Of course.

Are you kidding? Of course.

For so long, I have thought about
this moment and this conversation.

Always struggled trying to find the words
to be able to explain it.

But the one thing I do know is
I have always felt like I was your dad.

Yeah, but you aren't.

[sniffles]

Gordon was my dad.

Yeah, and a damn good one.

Yeah.

I need you to sign this.

What is it?

I don't want you to be my guardian.

Look, Ramona, I know you don't want anyone
breathing down your neck.

Just let me do this for you.

I can take care of all this stuff,

make sure you get the check
from Gordon's estate.

-You don't even have to see or talk to me.
-No, I don't want that.

I can't.

-[scoffing] Excuse me?
-I can't.

See, if I sign this, I am doubling down

on the biggest mistake
I ever made in my life.

And, Ramona, I can fix this.
Let me fix this.

-I don't want you to fix anything!
-Look, I get it.

You hate me right now, all right?
But the answer is no.

Gordon appointed me your guardian.

That is what he wanted.

Yeah, well, he's not here.

So how can you say
that's really what he wanted?

Maybe you were the only choice.

Then you tell me.
What do you think he wanted?

I don't know, but if you expect any
type of relationship to come from this,

trust it will only be biological.

Because if you think, even for a second,
that I'm forgiving you, ever,

you are delusional.

-[door closes]
-[sighs]

["Begging For Rain" playing]

I'm right here.

"Dear Ramona, it feels strange
to write you this letter

after you just beat me in Scrabble."

"The 'Q' on the triple-letter score
was rather brutal, but all is forgiven."

"I wanted… No, needed to tell you
how proud I am of you."

"You amaze me."

"You amaze me every day."

"Your stubbornness, your sense of humor,
your strength."

"You've always been exactly who you are,
and I love that person dearly."

"Thank you for giving me
the honor of raising you."

"It gave me a second chance at having
a daughter after we lost your mom."

[sobs] "I wish the two of you
could've spent more time together."

"I know you would've
made each other laugh."

"I'm sorry there were things
I didn't tell you."

[sniffing] "Hindsight is 20-20,

but I wanted you to know, at the time,
this felt like the right decision."

"Maybe the only decision."

"But now I know I was very wrong,
and I'm incredibly sorry, my dear."

"But you are not alone."

"You have a family,
and I hope you've found each other

and, together, will make up
for lost time."

"I know they will cherish you
as much as I have cherished you."

"Love always,

Gordon."

[sobbing]

[Annie] Ramona, that's so intense.
I'm sorry.

[Ramona] Yeah, no, it's okay, actually.

I'm really glad I read it.

I guess we'll see about, you know,
what'll happen with Joe.

Yeah.

Well, I'm here for you for all of it.

Any… Anything you need.

You know, I'm really, really proud of you.

I am.

How are you feeling about
going back to New York?

What's the latest with your dad?

Um…

You know what? I honestly don't even know.

I went to go see him this morning,
and he was not there.

-Oh.
-Yeah, so…

Aside from that, I'm obviously devastated.

I'd rather die than leave Sterling Point
and you and…

-[sighs] You know…
-And?

-No, nothing. I didn't say anything.
-Annie…

What?

-I'm brushing… I'm in the middle--
-You were about to say Ellis.

-No.
-Yeah, you were.

-No, I wasn't.
-Yeah, you were.

-No, I wasn't.
-What?

We did kiss.

-[gasps]
-I know.

-Shut up.
-In the closet.

-In the--
-On the floor.

-And he dragged me on the floor.
-Wait.

-In a really good way.
-Yeah, that's a great place for a kiss.

Dragged, in a nice way.

It was a perfect place for a kiss.

Wait, I'm so glad I'm telling you this.
It was the perfect place for a kiss,

and it was a perfect kiss.

-f*ck.
-Like, a perfect--

No sh*t. You guys slow-burned
the sh*t out of it.

-Yeah, we did. Yeah.
-It took you forever…

-Okay, turn.
-Okay.

But now I'm like, what do people do?

Like, how do people do this?

-Do what? What do you mean?
-Like, be with someone.

Not… We're obviously
not in a relationship.

-Right.
-But it's just occurring to me

that I literally have no idea what to do
or how to be in this context.

Know what I mean? I feel like
I know myself pretty well in other ways.

I'd like to think that. But with this,
I'm like, "Oh, I'm a baby."

I'm a newborn baby. I'm an idiot.

-You're not. Don't say that.
-It's not a bad thing.

-It's just, when we were at camp…
-Yeah.

…I literally shared the deepest pits
of my brain with him.

-Yeah?
-Sorry, I'm just gonna get…

There. I shared the deepest pits
of my brain.

-Okay.
-The ugliest, worst parts.

I shared them at him, okay? At him.

Now I just am supposed to be
completely vulnerable with this person?

Like…

-Yeah.
-Do you want a braid?

Yeah, sure.

-And this is the feeling.
-What?

This is the feeling everyone talks about,

the feeling that makes
the literal world spin around.

Oh, my God!
Make me stop talking about this.

I feel like this is t*rture for you.

No, it's not.

I mean, yeah, I…

I get it. It's definitely f*cked
to feel like

someone is holding your heart
outside of your body,

and they could just smash it at any…

at any time for any reason and, like…

Yeah. Yeah, I get it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, how do you do that?
How do I do that?

If you really do wanna keep talking to him
after you leave,

you gotta get him Internet.

It's like, this is what
I'm supposed to be doing.

-Making out with a hot guy in a closet.
-Mmm!

And finding myself.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, and not dating a guy in the closet

and organizing my dad's socks
so he doesn't mix them up.

Like, can…

[grunting] Let me live!
You know what I mean?

Wait, why do you check
your dad's socks for him?

'Cause he's colorblind, so he mixes up
navy blue and black.

Make sure you brush your tongue.
You always forget.

-Hey. Can I use your laptop for a sec?
-Hey.

I'm in the middle of an order.
I'm trying to get some more tinned fish.

A brand I like is about to drop
new smoked mackerel…

-Okay.
-…so I wanna be-- Awesome.

Please take care of my electronics,
thank you.

Are you taking a summer school
biology class I don't know about?

What's going on?

Ramona, what's going on? Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You know how I feel
about that word from you.

-I'm fine.
-Okay.

[inhales]

Can I speak freely?

Mmm-hmm.

I think that you are really,
really good at hiding.

Scarily good at it. Nobody could ever
find you when we played sardines.

Okay. Do you ever
stop talking about tinned fish?

We're having a moment.

Sorry.

I don't really know what the situation is,

but I can tell that it's important,
and I can tell that it's real,

so, what if, instead of hiding from it
this time, what if you just…

went ahead and just faced it?

Yeah, but…

-I don't know if I can.
-You can.

I've seen it, Ramona. You can.

You're one of the strongest people I know.

And you never have to
go through things alone.

Why are you the best? It's stupid.

I don't know. [chuckling]

Maybe she's born with it,
maybe it's mackerel.

-[laughs]
-Yeah. [chuckles]

I won't even apologize for that.
It was pretty good.

-Yeah.
-Incredible, actually.

Mmm.

You're gonna be okay.

["Hero" playing]

Oh. Hey, Ramona. Hi.

Hey.

Um, I'm really happy
you got home safe and sound.

Cool.

Well, uh, I was gonna head out, actually,
and go see if I could talk to Annie.

I, just… I wanna talk to you.

Okay, sure. What's up?

I need you to spit in a tube.

[chuckles] Okay. Um, can I ask why?

Because…

I think you might be my dad.