08x16 - Holy Schnitzel

[bunniefuu]

[Lisa R.] Previously on
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I was very upset and hurt and disappointed

because I put a lot of trust in you.

[Dorit] She tried to drive a wedge
between one of my very, very good friends.

That's a hard pill to swallow.

I'd like to propose a toast
to our trip to Berlin.

-Cheers everybody.
-Cheers.

[Lisa] Well, we're here.

Look at the architecture, it's amazing.

Look at this church on the left.

Yeah, that's pretty intense.

It was nice knowing all of you.
I'll be in the presidential suite.

And good luck to you all. Let's go.

I hope you will not need this

-because this is a panic room.
-Oh, really?

Maybe I should lock these hoes up.
[soft chuckle]

[theme music]

[Kyle] In this town,
fame and money come and go,

but friends should not.

[Erika] Some people call me cold,

but that's not ice, it's diamonds.

[Dorit] I believe in an excess
of everything

except moderation.

[Teddi] Having the best
isn't important to me,

but being my best is.

[Lisa R.] I don't have to buy it
'cause I already own it.

[Lisa] The queen of diamonds always
has an ace up her sleeve.

[lively accordion music]

[Teddi] Oof!

-They're not messing around with these.
-[Kyle] I'm getting dizzy.

Okay, here we come, Berlin.

-Ooh.
-It's a little chilly.

-It sure is.
-Little bit chilly.

[Kyle] Ooh, look how beautiful that is.

[Lisa R.] Isn't that gorgeous?

[Kyle] When I think of Germany and Berlin,
I think of kind of, like,

an edgy city.

Old architecture, new architecture.

And then I think of schnitzel and beer.

Ja.

Or da, whatever.
[laughs]

[Kyle] Should we go get some coffee or…

-[Teddi] Yeah.
-[Lisa R.] Please.

[cheerful music]

[Dorit] Yay, shopping!

[Erika] I feel like we could do

-some extreme damage in here.
-Yup.

I feel a renewed sense of adventure
after a good night's rest,

having spoken to the doctor.

-So I took a Zithromax.
-Okay.

And I took a Tamiflu.

What?

[Dr. Raasch] You don't take

both medications at once again, please.

-Really?
-One or the other.

And isn't shopping just a cure-all?

-Welcome to Berlin.
-Hello.

I'm… My name is Axel,
and I'm your personal shopper for the day.

-Hey, Erika, nice to meet you.
-Hi, nice to meet you.

You had a nice trip?

-So far, so good.
-Okay. Follow me.

-I'll show you.
-But I feel it might be getting better.

-Whoo!
-[Axel laughs]

[upbeat music]

[Kyle] What should we get?

Tinkle-tonkle jinka-jonka boca jili…

That sounds really good.

-Baju de bonk-bonk.
-That's what I really want.

[Lisa R.] Dorit will probably have
the hardest time

communicating with the locals.

If we don't understand her,

they're not gonna understand her.
[laughing]

Can I have a nonfat vanilla latte, please?

-Vanilla latte? Of course.
-Yeah.

Do you have nonfat milk or almond milk?

-Yeah.
-Okay. Thank you.

Do you have soy?

-What?
-Do you have soymilk?

-Soymilk, of course.
-Oh, good.

I'll have a vanilla latte with soy.

-Okay.
-Please, hot.

-Two.
-This is such an LA thing.

"Do you have almond milk?"

Do you have sugar-free vanilla
coconut milk?

"I'll have, like, a half-caf,
full-fat almond milk latte."

No, um, if you have almond milk,
I'm actually not joking.

I'll have a latte with almond milk.

Otherwise, I'll do a regular latte.

-Um, vanilla latte.
-Okay, perfect.

-[Kyle and Lisa R.] Thank you.
-Thank you.

[Lisa] Axel? Can you help me?

[Erika] Where's my champagne?

-[Dorit] Axel?
-Yeah.

-[Lisa] Axel?
-Yeah?

-[Dorit] Axel?
-Yeah.

[Lisa] Axel, I need your help.

Axel?

[Lisa] Where's he gone?

I bet it fits. Gorgeous.

-Who, who is that?
-This is Givenchy.

I've been looking for you everywhere.

-She's… Thank you.
-Don't let her monopolize you.

Kyle has that. You can't have that.

-Kyle has this?
-Kyle has it.

[Dorit] I love shopping with friends
on an international trip.

When we get something,

it's like a friendship bracelet.

Erika, try that on.

-That… I was thinking about you.
-I'm going to.

[Dorit] You can look back and say,
"Oh, my god,

remember when we bought this in Berlin?"

It, like, sort of bonds you.

-[waiter 1] Breakfast?
-[Kyle] Thank you.

Um, sir?

-Cooked all the way.
-All the way.

Well done.

-[Lisa R.] Well done.
-Well done.

Yeah. Can I do that? I'm sorry.

-That's no problem.
-May I have some salt and pepper?

[Axel] Then we have this series.

To wear it unpretentious,
you know, it's really lovely.

I'm all about being pretentious.

-[Kyle] Okay.
-[waiter 1] Enjoy it.

Thank you.

[Kyle] Could I have
the hollandaise sauce on the side?

-On the side, yeah.
-Separated.

Yes, please. Thank you.

That's… I think that's, that's a need now.

Thank you.

I wouldn't give that to her

because you don't know
that she's gonna buy anything yet.

These are probably too tight on my a*s.

[Erika] These poor Germans.

This is a very high-maintenance group
of women.

All of us are a little [bleep] nuts.

I love that dress. It's so pretty.

[Axel] It's a good choice.

-Thank you, Axel.
-So thank you very much.

I'm very happy that you…
that you love these pants

because that was really fitting amazing.

-[Erika] It was a pleasure.
-[Axel] Yes.

Yeah, we had a great afternoon.

We need a bit glamor in town, you know?

So it was really the perfect timing.

We're a little obnoxious.

[laughs]

[light music]

[upbeat music]

[Teddi] These ladies are shoppers.

And let me be honest,

it gets boring for me.

[Teddi] So I am thrilled
to have an opportunity

to be in my element, around horses.

Thank you.

[Kyle] Thank you.

We're going riding.

[Lisa] Erika, why did you decide
to make us go riding in the rain?

[Erika] Because it's fabulous,
and you're gonna enjoy it.

I would like for my horse lady
to take lead.

-Teddi?
-Yup.

-That's you.
-We will. We will.

-[Lisa] Look at this.
-[Kyle] Look at that tree.

-Hey, hey, hey.
-[Kyle] Look at that.

-[Lisa] Oh, isn't it sweet?
-[Dorit] Aw, so, so cute!

-[Kyle] I know.
-Have you ridden a horse before?

Many times.

[horse whinnies]

[Lisa] This is so similar to where
I used to ride in England

when we lived in the countryside.

It really is kind of quite amazing,
you know?

Just I feel like I've gone back in time.

Hi, you're Erika.
Nice to meet you in person.

-Hi, I'm Janina.
-Kyle. Nice to meet you.

-Teddi.
-Hi.

I've been on horses many times, but…

I don't want one that's gonna, you know,
take off on me.

Can I ask you a question?
That little horse,

-is he mellow?
-[Janina] Yes.

[Kyle] That's mine.

I'm very small.
I get a small, little horse.

Yes, that's very good.

[Janina]
Who's the most professional rider?

-Teddi.
-Teddi.

Okay, this is yours.
[laughing]

I'm good. I can take whatever.

[Lisa R.] It's been a while
since I've ridden a horse,

but I rode a lot growing up.

I wanted a horse in the sixth grade,

and then my mom sent me to the barn
and made me, like, clean the horses

and do all that, and I realized
that I didn't want a horse.

And so I got a tennis racquet instead.

[Lisa R. laughs]

-And what's your name?
-Dorit.

You can, uh, take this one, yes.

[Dorit] She's so big.

Hi.

[Kyle] I developed an allergy to horses

a few years ago.

Okay, you hungry? Me too.

What can I get you?

[Kyle] But it's hard when you love
an animal so much

and you feel that you can't
have contact with them.

So if I have to deal
with a little watery eyes,

big deal.

[intense music]

Okay.
[Kyle laughs]

[cheerful music]

I feel like an Olympian.

[Erika] Kyle, you have a [bleep] pony.

-[Teddi] Kyle looks 14 1/2 today.
-[Kyle laughing]

[Erika] Kyle totally looks like the kid

that's too old to be riding
the merry-go-round.

[Erika] Her legs are practically
dragging on the ground,

kind of like in The Flintstones.

[puttering]

[laughing]

This is an image that's gonna stay with me
for a long time.

[Teddi] I don't know why.

It's like with your helmet,

it's like a full mushroom.

My helmet's bigger than the horse.

[Kyle] I mean, if I could get one
of Lisa's little horses here,

I would ride that instead.

I wanna ride it.

Okay, wait, that's…

[laughter]

I'm not gonna go flying
off a big, tall horse.

[Lisa R.] Beautiful.

[Teddi] Oh, my gosh, you guys.

[Lisa R.] This is so pretty.

[Kyle] My throat is itching.

-Allergies?
-I'm very allergic to horses.

[Janina] Okay, is everyone organized
and good?

[Kyle] Ew! There's the bug.

In your mouth?

-[Dorit] No, Kyle's eating a bug.
-[Lisa R. laughs]

Oh, my god, [bleep], mother[bleep].

[Janina] h*, h*, h*. Heels down.

Wait, wait, h*, h*, h*.

[Lisa R.] No. h*.

Slow down.

[Lisa R.] My horse is not wanting to stop,

no matter what I do.

What's happening?

[Lisa R.] h*. h*.

-[Teddi] h*.
-[Lisa R.] h*.

-h*.
-Rinna?

"Aah," code red.

Heels down and a tight…

[Lisa R.] h*.

Aah!

[Teddi] If you have a nervous rider
up there, the horse can feel it,

and they're gonna react off your energy.

[Lisa R.] h*.

h*!

[Janina] Slow down.

Whaa!

[Lisa R.] Oh, jeez.

Oh, god.

[Janina] h*! h*!

[upbeat tense music]

[Teddi] Oh, god. Rinna, slow…

[Lisa R.] No, h*, h*.

h*.

Heels down and a tight…

-[Lisa R.] h*.
-Sorry. Oh, god.

[Lisa R.] h*! h*!

Put your legs forward and your body back.

-[Lisa R.] Like that.
-[Teddi] Yes.

I'm not ready to die,

and I don't wanna die
with these women in Berlin.

[Lisa] He wants to be in front.

[Teddi] Well, she shouldn't be
in the front. Rinna should not.

[Lisa] Anybody else's horse
would take off with them,

I'd be like, "Whoa!"

But with Rinna, "Keep going. Giddyup."

[soft chuckle]

[Kyle] My eyes are k*lling me
'cause of the horse.

I'm allergic. Ugh, I got to get off.

Somebody come help me.

Ah! Okay, I'm done.

[Erika] Yeah, I had different plans

for this horseback riding excursion.

[sighs]

I mean, I don't know

if we can ever get it right
on these trips.

I can't. My eyes are bloodshot.
Look how red they are.

I'm used to Kyle
making a big deal out of nothing.

[Kyle] Oh, my god, there's a bee.

Ah, [bleep]! I'm sorry.

Holy [bleep] [bleep].

Pull yourself together.

[Lisa] But this isn't nothing.

The whites of her eyes are blood red.
She actually looks like the devil.

Um, like, I need to get
some allergy medicine fast.

[sniffles]

[Kyle] Can someone drive me back?

Look at my eyes.
I need drops really badly.

Let me just get back to the thing,
and I have drops in my purse, I think.

I thought I would just be
dealing with, you know,

some sneezing, watery eyes.

Does anybody who lives here
have any medicine?

-What?
-Who lives here?

[Kyle] I feel like my chest is tightening.

I feel like my throat is closing.
It's starting to feel like

a full-blown anaphylactic reaction.

I wanna know what's going on with Kyle.

-[Kyle] People take it every day?
-[man] Yeah.

[Kyle] And is it something you can take
once a day every day?

-[man] Yes, yes.
-What if I'm allergic to it?

I'm gonna start thinking
I'm allergic to it.

Should I just take it? I'm desperate.

I'm having a really severe reaction.

I can't talk about it.
I'm having a panic attack.

-[Erika] You okay?
-Um, I'm not, really.

I'm freaking out.

[Lisa R.] You'll be okay, Kyle.
Keep breathing.

[Kyle] My panic attacks
are triggered by stress.

It feels like you could die,
even though you know you're not going to,

but you can't be logical in that moment.

Where's the car? I gotta get out of here.

[Kyle sighs heavily]

-We made it!
-Thank you.

It was beautiful.

I can't have anybody sit too close to me

that's been touching any horse, anything.

[Kyle] Whoever sits next to me,

just take off your jacket, please.

If you need to feel better,
look at Lisa's hat.

[laughter]

-[Erika] Oh, my god!
-[laughter]

That is [bleep] hilarious.

-[Teddi] I can't.
-I can't with that hat.

I love this hat.

[Teddi] I mean, I'm not a doctor,
but maybe Kyle's allergic to Lisa's hat,

not the horses.

[Erika] Do you think
we could stop off at a bar?

I know. Do we have any alcohol in here?

Oh, what about
the champagne from yesterday?

-[Lisa R.] Yeah.
-[cork pops]

I would like to propose a toast
to Teddi Jo Mellencamp,

the only one
with any [bleep] horse brains.

[Erika] Thank you, Teddi.

Because of you, no one got hurt.
That's the truth.

-We were a team.
-[Erika] Yes.

-Yay!
-We were a team.

We worked as a team!

[Erika] And guess what.
You were the [bleep] leader.

-Aw.
-Yay!

-Whoo-whoo!
-And you did a great job.

-So thank you.
-Thanks, guys.

A thank-you sure beats
Erika yelling at me.

I'll take it.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

[Erika] Love you all. I'm in my room.

I'll see you later!

[upbeat music]

-How's this looking?
-Let's see. Yeah.

I'm gonna crunch her up in there.

[Erika] The great part about having
a dinner party in a hotel is,

the staff does everything for you

'cause I ain't doing [bleep].

[Erika] They are.

They help set the menu.

They bring all the food, all the flowers,
all the place settings.

And they make you look good.

-Brush out your…
-[Erika] My brows.

Your tattooed brow.

I do not have tattooed…

These are my [bleep] brows.

Don't tell people I have tattooed brows.

-No.
-[Erika] We're in Berlin.

So I'm inspired by Marlene Dietrich

and a little bit of Catherine Deneuve
in The Hunger.

I cannot get you down to Marlene status.

[laughs]

All right, go entertain.

Tonight, you're a hostess.

[doorbell rings]

Ooh.

-[doorbell ringing]
-Oh, [bleep].

I don't have a key to get in this place.

-Hi.
-[both] Hi.

Could you open the door for me?

-Yeah, sure.
-Thanks.

I'm really sorry. I just didn't know how.

There's a button on the right side.

Oh, my god, what a dumb-dumb.

See, if anybody asks you,
my hair color's real.

[Erika] Oh, glamorous!

-Hello.
-Get on in here!

-Sorry.
-It looks like so much fun.

-Nice to see you.
-Nice to see you, horse lady.

-[Teddi] Wow.
-Welcome to the presidential suite.

-[Lisa] It's pretty, isn't it?
-This looks amazing.

-Nice design.
-Very, very pretty.

Would you like a glass?

I need a glass.

[Erika] What are we pouring?

You never really know.
Blanc de Blanc.

[Erika] Excellent.

[Lisa R.] Let me in!

I'm coming. I'm coming.

It's like a vault.

-Hi!
-Oh, my god, yeah!

Whoo-whoo!

Party at Erika's. Party at Erika's.

-[Lisa R.] Hi, girls.
-Oh, hello.

Oh, that looks so pretty.

-Welcome. Good evening.
-Hello!

I love the hat!

[Dorit] Erika's nailed it tonight.

As the Germans would say,

she's looking very glamourös.

-Welcome.
-Oh, my god.

-Look how I'm dressed--
-Get on in here.

-You're so dressed up. You look gorgeous.
-Mwah!

-Um, I… I feel too casual now.
-How do you feel?

-I feel very, very not good.
-Why? What's going on?

How can I help you?

Well, the medicine
completely just knocked me out.

[Kyle] After the day I've had
and feeling like [bleep],

and I'm high as a kite on this stinking
studel medicine this man gave me today,

I should be in my bed, sleeping.

But I wanna be able to relax and have fun.

Plus, the FOMO would have been
way too strong.

-[Lisa R.] May I ask what that is?
-[Erika] Veal tartare.

Veal tartare?

-That's… What is that?
-[Nick] Tomato tartare.

-No veal?
-Can I have tomato?

'Cause I don't eat veal either.

No, I'm not eating baby moo-moo.

Do you have an extra tomato tartare?

-Yes.
-Oh, thank you so much.

[Teddi] I try not to be high-maintenance,

but if it's bleeding, I'm out.

[Teddi] Sorry.

-[laughter]
-Is that okay?

[Lisa R.] I won't eat any baby
of any kind.

I don't eat babies.

Um, so anyway…

-[Teddi laughs]
-Yeah.

[Erika] I ate the veal.

I'm international like that.

Cuisine, palate.

Not afraid.

Glad to see you're still alive, darling.

-She made it through.
-It was… I got really scared.

I haven't had a panic attack
in a long time,

-but they're not fun.
-They're not fun.

How old were you when you first started
having panic attacks?

Twelve years old. It's way too young.

[Lisa R.] Delilah had hers at 11.

She had strep throat,

and three days later, she said to me,
"I'm not getting on the bus

to go to school."

We had to have a doctor come to the house.

She would not leave the house.

She was instantly agoraphobic.

Oh, my gosh.

[Lisa R.] We got her to go to school,

and Harry would have to go
and sit outside of school

while she was in school.

And he did that for about two months.

[Lisa R.] And he sat outside
until about 11:30, 11:45.

She could only stay at school
for about that long.

Then they would go to the park,

and then they would come home.

It was a freaky time.

How?

'Cause you feel scared,
and you feel vulnerable,

and then you need to stay
where you feel safe.

She wouldn't go in an elevator.

She wouldn't get on an airplane.

She'll probably have to deal
with it her whole life,

but she's gotten it to a point
where it's, I mean, so much better.

[Lisa R.]
It was triggered by the sickness,

we are told by the doctor,

and Delilah will always have anxiety.

[Lisa R.]
She just has that in her makeup now.

But she's learned the tools
to deal with it.

Listen, I think you know, this trip,

I certainly feel in a good place

with all of you.

And I know New York was…

you know, some things were said
that were hurtful, but…

Well, I mean, I have to say…

I hate to draw back, but, you know, Kyle,

in New York, I was really hurt by you.

[upbeat tense music]

[Lisa] I certainly feel in a good place

with all of you.

[Dorit] I hate to draw back,
but, you know, Kyle,

in New York, I was really hurt by you.

The night of my Bella party,

for whatever reason,

you felt the need to… to go to Lisa.

Dorit was pissed off.

Then she was saying things
that you had said in confidence,

that I didn't think she should be saying.

[Dorit] And tell her about

conversations that you and I had.

[Kyle] I may be high
on allergy medication,

but it sounds like Dorit
is really looking for [bleep] again.

We're already past New York!

I think you felt bad about it.

-No.
-What you said.

No, I, I, do…

I absolutely did, but I have to tell you,

this conversation after…

I'm not…

What?

[sighs]

[Kyle] The fact that Lisa Vanderpump

was chiming in and defending Dorit,

it's so frustrating to me because

she's done it before.

She's doing it again.

[Kyle] I feel like everything
I've ever done

is under a microscope,
and then all of a sudden,

she does something that I know

that would hurt you and bother you,

and I'm baffled by the fact
that you're just like, "Mm."

I do want to apologize for,
and I mean this 1,000%.

I made a mistake.

[Kyle] She apologized,

but actions speak louder than words.

So you basically chose New York
to tell her.

I didn't choose New York, Dorit.

The night of my Bella party, Kyle.

You're upset that it all kicked off

at your Bella party, aren't you?

I didn't say anything
at the [bleep] Bella party, okay?

It was after, after, okay?

Quit trying to say that.

[Lisa] Uh, Kyle's acting like

a petulant child.

I mean, I love her
but come on.

I just want Kyle to see Dorit's side.

You keep going out of your way

to make her point, defend her point.

And you haven't defended me

or my… understood my point
for one second.

The whole thing started from me
[bleep] trying to defend you.

Yes, you said we have different standards,

but you're really taking it
to the [bleep] next level.

[Lisa] But why?

Why? I don't understand.

-I don't either. I don't either.
-What… what…

It's so fun being an observer
of this petty bull[bleep].

[soft chuckle]

-[Kyle] Lisa, I will never…
-Kyle…

…tell you anything I hear again.

[Dorit] If Lisa does see my side

and Kyle is being a little irrational

and Lisa states that,

well, aren't we all supposed
to have opinions?

I don't ever wanna feel

that you would ever

wanna create an issue between her and I.

-Okay, but you keep…
-[Teddi] I don't think…

-…making…
-…she was trying to do that at all.

-That I would wanna--
-I'm sorry.

[Kyle] You don't really have room to talk.

And you don't think I felt bad
when you trying to… It was clear

that it was being made an issue
with Erika and me?

Just tell me who it is.

And why would they be mad
that I went to sleep somewhere else?

[Dorit] It was Kyle.

That made me feel bad.

So we're saying
the exact same [bleep] thing.

[Teddi] We're gonna talk in circles.

If you guys don't want things
being repeated

about other people, don't say it.

Teddi, stop.

This is different
to the New York conversation.

[Lisa R.] Teddi, you don't have to stop
if you don't want to.

[Lisa] Say it, Teddi.
Say it. Say it, say it.

I mean, come on, Lisa.
You can't tell Teddi to stop.

But she's not understanding
the relationship.

-I know, but let her speak.
-[Lisa R.] This is just the classic

Vanderpump move.

If you're not on her side,

she tries to shut you up.

It's got to stop.
Someone's got to stop it and say,

"You know what? Enough already."

I see her having her feelings
hurt a little bit,

and I wanna protect her a little bit, yes.

I don't feel like I need
a mediator right now, but…

[upbeat tense music]

[Teddi] Why is it okay for Lisa Vanderpump
to have your back

and it's not okay for me
to have Kyle's back?

Kyle shouldn't be upset at Dorit
for telling Erika…

But then Dorit shouldn't be
upset with Kyle.

-It's the same exact thing.
-[Kyle] Exactly.

As far as the beach house goes,
you guys were there.

You were there.

[Kyle] I don't know what this woman
is talking about right now.

I was not there.

We were all outside, working out.

Like you're sitting in a chair.
Stand up now.

-You wanna push the knees out.
-That doesn't work for me.

-That doesn't work for me.
-[Alex] As we stand up. No, you're good.

What planet is she on?

Dorit, if, if we leave
to the bathroom right now

and you say something about me,
I'm not here.

-Which [bleep] way, Kyle…
-I'm in the [bleep] bathroom.

When I gave Erika the panties last year…

[mouths]

She slapped me a high five,

and everything was a joke, and she got it.

This is a cheeky little gift

since we've all seen
your pretty little puss now.

And then I went to the bathroom,

and I came back,

and you had had a whole conversation,

conversation led by you.

And then I approached, and Erika was
suddenly very mad at me.

So it's my fault
that you gave her the panties

-and upset Erika.
-No! Don't twist it.

[Kyle] Dorit is trying to cause problems
between Erika and me.

She did this at Teddi's beach house
and she's doing it again.

[Kyle] Every single person at this table

knows damn well I have nothing to do

with Erika's reaction to Dorit
giving her the underwear.

-No, you're twisting it.
-You just mentioned

-if you leave for the bathroom…
-What are you even talking about?

…and I have a conversation.

-[Kyle] Why did you bring it back?
-That is the same exact thing.

Why are you bringing that up?
It makes no sense.

[Erika] I never thought Kyle
had anything to do with Pantygate,

and it's very difficult to follow Dorit's

line of thinking sometimes.

[Kyle] Maybe that's why you're upset.

You're holding on to something
that didn't even exist.

Because I don't know
what you're talking about.

I've never been upset with you.
I would never do what you did to me.

-So what did you say…
-I would never do that to you.

-I would never.
-Whoa.

[Erika] It will be one subject,
and then all of a sudden,

it will shift to another,

but yet comparisons are still being drawn,

but I can't tell from which.

Erika, what… Did anything happen then?

I'm so confused.

I, I don't even know
what you're talking about.

[Erika] So it ends up being like
this whole incestuous ball

of misinformation.

Fake news.

No, I'm just kidding.
[boisterous laugh]

I had to.

Why don't we sleep on it?

-Okay.
-So we can talk about it again tomorrow?

No, no. Well, yeah, Teddi.

[sighs]

I may have to use the panic room.

Thank you all for coming for dinner.

[Lisa R.] Thank you for having us, Erika.

Now get the [bleep] out of my suite.

-Happily.
-[Dorit laughs]

-My bed is calling.
-And stop [bleep] fighting.

[Teddi] Yes.

We cleared the air, Erika.

We're not fighting. We cleared the air.

-[Lisa R.] Good.
-Exactly.

[Kyle] I'm annoyed with Dorit right now,

but I've come to expect this from her.

But what I don't expect
is for Lisa Vanderpump

to continuously not have my back

and speak up and say what's right.

Good night.

Ugh.

[light upbeat music]

[Teddi] Hi, girls.

I just wanted to let you know
I'm thinking about all of you.

I know it's hard
when I'm across the country,

but I wanted to let all of you know
that every single night,

I'm checking on your progress,

and I'm extremely proud
of the hard work you're putting in.

[Teddi] As an accountability coach,

my job doesn't stop
because I'm on vacation,

but it doesn't feel like a job.

Talking to these women and empowering them

forces me to fight for myself too.

So it's a win-win for me.

Get after it today, my friends.

Good job.

[upbeat music]

[Dorit] After last night, I'm feeling like

Kyle seems more jealous

of my relationship with Lisa Vanderpump

than I could ever feel
about her and Lisa Vanderpump.

[phone line rings]

[Lisa R.] Hello.

Hey, sweetie. It's Erika.

[Lisa R.] Hi, sweetie, hi.

Hey, hey, listen.

We need to get outside,

and we need to go see some cultural stuff.

[Lisa R.] Yeah, I'm dying to.
Are you kidding me?

I'm just waiting in my room going,
"Okay, let's,

-please get out and see this city."
-Okay, great.

I want everyone to be together.

What I don't want is for, you know,

like, two go shopping and two get mad.

Last night just went to hell in a handbag.

I would really appreciate it

if you could help me
get everyone together, okay?

[Erika] This is why we're here,

is to have fun, to bond,
to take in the sights,

to walk around, to be together,

and not to fight this out.

[Lisa R.] Okay, let's do it.
And what time shall we meet downstairs?



-All right, I'll see you later.
-[Lisa R.] Okay.

[beeping]

[line ringing]

-[Kyle] Hello.
-Hello.

Hello.

Do you want to go out?

[Kyle] Um…

Where to?

Maybe the park?

[Kyle] I can go for a little bit.

Okay. You don't sound very happy.

[Kyle] Well, I'm not.

Why would I be right now?

Okay.

Do you want to meet me at the square?

[Kyle] I'll meet you there.
I'll be there in five.

Okay, all right. Bye.

[phone thuds]

[Lisa] Kyle's accused me
of holding a grudge.

Well, who's holding a grudge now, Kyle?

[electronic music]

[Lisa R.]
Ladies, I heard that Kyle and LVP

-went off on their own somewhere.
-[Dorit] Yes.

But I think they're gonna meet us.

-Sightseeing?
-Yes.

Okay, well, that's cool.

Yeah, I think they had
some stuff to work out.

[Erika] Thanks so much.

[Lisa R. sighs]
Thank you for dinner last night…

-[Erika] Yes.
-Erika.

Oh, you're so welcome.

I'm a little frustrated
by the whole thing.

I have to be honest.

[Teddi] Well, I think that's why it's good

that Kyle and Lisa
are having a conversation

together, the two of them.

[soft upbeat music]

[Kyle] I'm just hoping that Lisa
actually listens to my side today

and is going to be open-minded

because up until now,

I don't feel like she's hearing
anything I'm saying.

-Hi.
-Hi.

You look pretty.

Thanks. You look cute.

-Oh.
-What's happening? It's freezing.

-Really cold.
-You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.
I'm feeling a little bit better.

So I'm not sure why you're upset with me.

You know, obviously, Dorit and I
had a very big disconnect.

We were having a hard time
understanding each other.

-And…
-Yeah.

Uh, you know,
you kept going out of your way

to make her point clear to me.

Then why I was trying to make, you know,
my point to her

and explain where I was coming from,
you know, you sat silent.

[Teddi] The second
that I tried to even say anything

for Kyle, "Teddi,
with all due respect, be quiet."

Why can she speak for you
but then the second somebody wants to--

I don't think she was speaking for me.

-She was…
-[Teddi] She was…

showing…

-Support for your position.
-[Teddi] Yes.

[Lisa R.] There are times when Dorit lives
in her own reality.

I've experienced it.

If your husband had said
some pretty strong things about me,

you know, you have to think about that.

What has my husband said?

A drug addict.

Like, schizophrenic.

She's like one person one day
and another person in another moment.

You don't really know
who you're gonna get.

There's a term for that.
It's called schizophrenic.

I don't think--

But you don't think your husband did that?

No.

I'm not sure Dorit has come to a place

where she's had to take
a good look at herself.

I don't wanna create
a problem with you and Dorit.

It's how I'm feeling about…

your reaction to this.

That is the problem.

I feel like I'm taken for granted.

Well, I just felt a bit [bleep]
that Kyle would go back to Lisa.

I truly believe that it was
not to throw you under the bus.

[Erika] I truly believe that she knows

there's hell to pay for that.

-Exactly.
-[Erika] You see what I'm saying?

And Kyle does not want to pay the hell
that there is to pay.

Because I think she's paid
a lot of hell before.

[Erika] There's a lot of history

between Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump.

Maybe I enjoy having what we have.

I don't wanna [bleep] that up,
whatever. I don't care.

I will not [bleep] tell a lie.

I'm not asking you to tell a lie.
That's not fair.

No, I'm asking you not to tell one.

I literally tell you everything.

-And I feel like--
-I have your confidence.

Yes, but do I have yours?

[Erika] Dorit has reawakened the division

in Vanderpump and Kyle's friendship

and perhaps some unfinished business.

A friendship is a two-way street.

[upbeat music]

A friendship is a two-way street.

-I've always been…
-Kyle, I…

-I mean…
-Kyle, if you're upset about something,

I'm always there by your side.

You know that.

So for me to be in the middle--

-I don't know that always, actually, Lisa.
-Okay.

I didn't feel that last night.

Okay, I'm sorry.

And I love you.

You're important to me.

You're important enough to me to say this

-and to try to fix that, okay?
-Okay.

-Okay.
-I will work my things out with Dorit.

I know you guys are fine.

I shouldn't have said anything to Dorit.

I should have let her handle it
the way she wanted to handle it.

And, you know…

you guys work it out.

Okay.

[Lisa] Clearly, this little ménage à trois

between Kyle and Dorit and myself
can be quite complicated.

So everybody needs to deal
with each other individually,

and I'm gonna keep out
of their little friendship.

[Lisa] I love you.

I love you too.

Otherwise, I wouldn't even be
having this conversation.

I would have just said
"[bleep] off" and left.

[Lisa] All right, shall we go
and meet the other?

[Kyle] Yes.

[light music]

[Teddi] Ooh, it's windy.

[Dorit] Why is it, like, all parliaments
always look the same in Europe?

[Erika] You mean like big and pretty?

[Dorit] Like, just the stone
and the pillars.

[Erika] I think it was just kind of,
like, the thing.

This is, like, a really neat city.

[Teddi] Being in a city
where everybody's biking too…

-[Erika] Is cool.
-[Teddi] Yeah.

[Dorit] Well, that's European.

[Erika] I like experiencing
different energies of cities.

Your heart opens, your mind opens
when you go and you see other things.

Should we be tourists
and ask somebody to take a picture of us

in front of the gate?

[Erika] Let's do it.

Excuse me.

-Do you mind taking a picture of us?
-Oh, I know.

Thank you.

With the whole background, if you can.

-Oh.
-[Teddi] Thank you.

-[Erika] Ja, ja.
-[Teddi] Ja, ja.

[light music]

[women] Thank you!

[Dorit] Now, this is the kind of trip

that you're supposed to have
with your fräuleins.

It's thrilling, it's exciting
because it's steeped in history.

-Hello!
-[Lisa] Hi.

-Hi, guys!
-Hello.

-How are you?
-Where you gals been?

-Walking around the city.
-You look warm.

[Kyle] Oh, my god, I'm not.
Where we going?

[Erika] Come over here.

There's, like, this other
monument we should see.

-[Dorit] Are you and Kyle good?
-[Lisa] Yes.

-Are Kyle and I good?
-I don't know.

That's your thing. I…

-Yeah.
-I don't wanna get involved in it.

I wanna have a good time tonight.

I wanna have a laugh tonight.

But if you've got anything to say to Kyle
or she's got anything to say to you--

I think Kyle and I have finished.

I mean, I don't feel any…
any hurt or anger

or residual anything.

Well, make sure she doesn't too.

Well, that's… obviously.

[Dorit] Last night got heated
and it was intense.

But I feel like I got
everything off my chest

to Kyle and I'm ready to move on.

[melancholy music]

[Erika] This is crazy.

[Dorit] Massive part of Jewish history.

[Erika] Well, yeah, it was a big part
of the history here.

[Lisa] This is unbelievable.

Well, this is just a miniature portion
of the people that died.

Each one symbolizes each life lost.

That's just so awful.

[Kyle] My husband considers himself

a Mexican Jew
because he's born in Mexico, but…

his blood is actually
Russian-Greek-Turkish.

When Mauricio's grandparents fled Europe,

they ended up going to Mexico.

This is actually a very scary feeling.

I don't like this.

It was so important to my husband

that I convert to Judaism

because so many Jews were lost.

[Kyle] Our children are Jewish,

and walking through here
and being reminded

of the loss and the sadness is…

very overwhelming.

[Dorit] I wonder
if there's any significance

to the various heights.

This is to represent the Holocaust
and how it started out small.

[Erika] And as it progressed, like,
you were able to ignore it.

You were able to ignore the hatred

or the… or the persecution.

And then as you get further
and further into the exhibit,

it became bigger and bigger

and then became… overwhelmed the country
and overwhelmed Europe.

And then as you get further
and further in,

you're lost.

[Dorit] Oh!

So it kind of represents

the whole escalation
of the Holocaust, if you will.

[Dorit] My Jewish family was massively
affected by the w*r.

My grandfather,

while living in Poland at 16 years old,

was ripped from his house at dinner.

Two of his siblings were
k*lled by the Nazis,

and his parents

were sent to a concentration camp
in Siberia.

It almost makes me feel a bit nauseous.

[Dorit] Twenty-five years later,

someone had told him
that his parents were still alive,

so when he got to Israel…
[sniffles]

…he went to go see them

to try and make contact.

And when she opened the door

and she saw that he was
the spitting image of her husband…

[sniffles]

…she knew it was her son.
[cries]

[sniffles]

And then they were reunited
after almost 30 years.

[sniffles]

If you count Holocaust victims,

it's over six million Jews.

Yeah, but that was the whole catalyst
of World w*r II.

Right, yeah.

[Erika] No, the whole world
was 60 million.

[Lisa] It's like the entire
population of England.

[Erika] That's incredible. Just wiped out.

[Lisa] Yeah.

[light music]

Oh, look at that building.
[Kyle gasps]

What is that?

[Erika] Turn to the left at this bridge.

-Oh, gosh, that's gorgeous.
-Right?

Crossing from one side
to the other side.

Can you take a picture for us?

-A picture of us?
-Thank you.

-Thank you so much.
-Thanks.

Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]

[gentle music]

"Many small people who,
in many small places,

do many small things

that can alter the face of the world."

Thank God we've never had to live…

-in a world, in a life…
-[Teddi] No. Exactly. Yeah.

…where we ever have to deal
with something as big as this.

Originally, the wall must have
been a lot higher than this.

Yeah, this is…
No, but this is what's left.

I said, "This is the wall, right?"

This is the wall, yeah. This it.

-They kept this bit.
-Yes.

[Erika] 1989 was not that long ago.

It's special to see the wall up.

On one side, people were free.

And on the other side,
people were living under Communist rule.

It just goes to show you how
your freedom is so fragile.

It's incredibly important

to remember that
and to see that in person.

[Dorit] Oh, wow.

So we've just gone from…

-East to West? Yeah.
-East to West.

[Erika] To stand in the presence
of something like that

makes all of our differences very small.

Really crazy.

-Well, girls…
-Yeah.

-Wow.
-Wow.

[Kyle] So what shall we do, ladies?

You guys wanna go back
to the hotel and relax

before we, uh, go out tonight?

[women] Yeah.

Let's do something very, uh…

Casual.

-German casual.
-Yeah.

You want German casual?

We've got German casual.

-Let's go drink a beer.
-Coming right up.

Let's go Oktoberfest it up, ladies.

[overlapping chatter]

I've done Oktoberfest.

[Dorit] I can even tell you how
to order a beer in German.

-[Erika] How?
-[Teddi] Let's prepare.

-"Can aysht un Bier haben?"
-Oh, [bleep].

[accordion music]

Look at that strut.

Look at that Lisa Rinna strut.

-Look at that shape of her a*s.
-That little apple bottom.

[Lisa] Are you taking your glass with you?

Oh, Lisa.

[Kyle] You've got to get a Solo cup.

[Teddi] You can take your glasses

as long as you're going
to the Shnuckennudels.

[Dorit] Schnucken-nucken…

[Teddi] As long as you're going
to the Schokanukanudels, you're fine.

[Erika] I look like it's sorority night
or something.

[upbeat music]

[Kyle] Oh, look.

[Dorit] Portia!

[Portia] Hey, guys.

Hey!
Hi!

Hi, mamacita. What are you doing?

[Portia] I'm chillin' in your room.

[laughter]

We have tonight and then one more night,
and then I'm home with you, snuggling.

Then we move to our new house.

-Yay!
-[women cheering]

I wanna know what color
is your room gonna be?

Blush.

[laughter]

-Love it.
-"Blush."

-It's blush.
-[Erika] Blush and bashful.

[Kyle] Portia may look exactly
like Mauricio,

but she's all Mommy.

Okay, honey, I just wanna tell you
that I love you

and I miss you so much.

-[smooches]
-[Portia] Bye, everyone.

[women] Bye!

Bye, baby.

See ya, bye.

[lively music]

[Kyle] We're here.

Come on, ladies.

[Erika] I'm coming, g*dd*mn it.

I feel like a tourist in a bus.

[Kyle] I have news for you.

-You are.
-[laughter]

[Erika] Well, we can't come to Germany
without, like, going to a beer hall

and having a beer and a pretzel, hello.

-Girardi, my last name. Yeah?
-Okay.

-Ready to follow me?
-Let's do it. Come on.

[Erika] We need that hat!

-Welcome back to…
-Whoo-hoo!

[women cheer]

[lively music]

[Lisa R.] Oh, if there's dancing,
I'm gonna be one of the first to do it,

and I may end up on a table doing it.

I am game.

Here's an Old Boy Original
for each one of you.

[women] Cheers!

[Erika] I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.
I grew up drinking beer.

We don't have to be prissy
and prim and proper.

We can just be chicks.

[Erika] I look good drinking beer.

Are you ready for the food?
Yes.

So let's get some pretzels
for the table.

And that comes with mustard, yeah?

And can I get some
really good sausage too?

-Thank you.
-[overlapping chatter]

[Lisa R.] The people here are so happy

and they wanna have a good time…

I love that. I know.

They're not self-conscious in this place.

No.

-They don't care.
-That's really nice.

Here, I have the pretzels
for you with the mustard.

[Kyle] I've never in my life knew
a pretzel was an appetizer

or a meal.

Delicious little snacky food.

I love a pretzel.

-[waiter 2] So one sausage plate.
-Thank you.

[waiter 2] One Viennese schnitzel.

This is serious food here.

Listen, this is a really little wiener.

I mean, I'm a girl
that likes a bit of everything.

Some French fries. It's very healthy.

[Lisa] I can trade out
the cosmos and caviar

for a beer stein and…

Wiener schnitzel
or whatever you bloody well call it.

So, listen, guys, this is
my last night tonight.

-I'm going home.
-Oh, no!

I'm leaving in the morning
'cause I've got a commitment back in LA.

And I don't wanna go.
I have had a really good time.

[Lisa] The Road to Yulin and Beyond,
our documentary,

is receiving an award,
and I have to be there

to pick it up in person.

You get to miss the boat tomorrow night.

I thought we said no boats.

[Erika] I know. I lied.

[laughs]

It's a shame that I have to leave
'cause we're actually having a laugh.

Now, if it had been last night,

I would have been out of here
like a rat up a drain pipe.

[Erika] Should we conga-line
with these people?

I'll do it with you if you do it.

I'm not doing it alone.

Let's go.

[lively music]

[lively music continues]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd chanting]
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

We can argue like we did last night

but then tonight put it aside,

let our hair down, and have the best time.

-[man speaking German]
-[woman laughs]

Even eating carbs
and drinking lots of beer.

[lively German music]

[cheers and applause]

[Lisa R.] Next time on
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

[upbeat music]

[Erika] Let's do this!

-[Kyle] Oh, my god.
-[Teddi] Hi.

I wanted to take his face and just…
[kisses]

[Kyle] I'm having a "Titanic" moment.

I'm the king of the world!

I fear boats with these women
because bad things happen on a boat.

[all scream]

-[applause]
-[bleep] yeah!

[Kyle] Where are we?

[Erika] This is like the new hotspot.

Be careful, though.

-[Kyle shrieks]
-Ugh!

I didn't even want to come on this trip.

You scared the living [bleep] out of her.