12x02 - Receipt Offender

[bunniefuu]

Previously,
on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills"...

I love that Harry's
allowing you to celebrate him.

- You know he's gonna be 70?
- Oh, it's a big birthday?

He's 70 years old. Huh.

I said somethings
that I maybe should not have

about Lisa.

Sutton brought up
this charity event.

Don't .....ing come for me
on national television

with your .....ing bullsh...

I got in bed,

and all of a sudden,
I hear the door open.

They charged at me,
grabbed me, put me down.

"Get down
on the .....ing ground!

I'm gonna .....ing k*ll you!"

Put a g*n to me.
- No, don't say that.

I just wanna get
to the other side.

I know it's not
gonna happen overnight,

but I know that
I can get there.

Oh, my God.

What happened with Dorit...
it's terrifying.

I've been putting out fires
all day today, too, but I mean,

I wasn't held at gunpoint.
I'm sorry.

I don't need the spotlight.

I shine just fine.

Hi, I'm karma,

and yes, I am a b*tch.

You can take all my things,

and you won't have taken
a thing that matters.

The only thing better
than having it all

is having even more.

If you want a seat
at my table,

you best mind your manners.

They say talk is cheap,

but in Beverly Hills,
it can cost you.

I have nothing to hide

and nothing to lose,

and that makes me dangerous.

When you're
the real deal,

you don't have to pretend.

[downbeat pop music]

♪

[doorbell dings]

[barking]

- Have a nice night.
- Yeah, you too.

Baby, come talk to me.

Did you see that boarded up
over there?

Yeah, no,
I saw that, and I met

with the police detectives
this morning

and said
that the district attorney

has personally contacted him
and said,

"I wanna prosecute this case."

The actual words were,
"You have the full weight

of the entire LAPD
fully behind you."

I mean, they spent
quite a lot of time with me.

They're really nice.
I spent five hours yesterday...

- Yeah.
- Going through everything.

And I think it's important
that, you know,

let them have
their investigation.

[whispering]
But PK, for the kids.

Honey, let me shut the door.

It's the maddest thing,
by the way,

the way the kids...

there's these security guards downstairs,

and they don't even ask who
they are or what they're doing.

They just carry on.

It's an amazing thing
the way they...

Acclimate.

But you're like that.
You're

the best decompartmentalizer
I've ever seen.

My father was a paratrooper
in the Israeli army.

Very, very highly trained.

And he taught us a lot
of valuable lessons

growing up.

Namely, in situations
that were high pressure

or chaotic to stay calm.

That you can get
through anything.

PK, there was a moment

where I was right there
on my knees

and the other guy
standing here screaming,

"Who else is in the house?

"Who else is
in the effing house?

Don't effing lie to us.
I'm gonna k*ll you."

I remember
being a six-year-old girl,

and there was a bee
flying around.

I was terrified, screaming,
and jumping up and down.

And my father said,
"Dorit, stop.

"If you don't wail your arms
and you don't scream

"and you don't...you're
not gonna scare the bee,

and he'll leave you alone."

I'm telling you,
we're blessed.

We've got a lot
of protection around us.

It's coming
from a higher place.

Yeah. I don't wanna say
we were lucky.

- We were lucky.
- We were lucky.

And then, all of a sudden,
the bee flew on the table,

and he picked up the bee
with the wings.

And he put the bee
right in front of me.

And I could see it.
With that moment,

I just was never afraid
of bees after that.

I mean, how you handled
this...

I'm so .....ing proud of you,

I can't even tell you.

You're so, so tough.
You're tougher than me.

You know, going out

and getting dressed up
and working,

I want to...I wanna laugh.
I wanna smile.

I wanna be happy.
- It was very sweet

of Rinna
to offer to cancel the party.

We feel really conflicted

about having
Harry's birthday tomorrow.

My love, listen to me.

In my religion, we never cancel
a happy occasion

for a sad occasion.
- Are you sure?

- Is that right?
- That's just not done.

I was never gonna
let her do that.

You know,
we need to go forward.

If we don't, then
those home invaders...they win.

Totally.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Hi!
- How are you?

- Hi!
- Hey.

[both kissing]
- So over these masks.

- I know.
- When do we...when do we get

to not wear
these masks anymore?

Good afternoon, ladies.
How are we doing today?

- Good. How are you?
- Doing great.

Can I get
your order taken for lunch?

I'm going to have
the tomato soup...

- You got it.
- And the grilled

chicken salad.
- Happy to take care

of that for you.
- And I think I'll have

a glass of Chardonnay.

I'll have a Chardonnay, too, please.

And I'm gonna have
the grilled chicken salad,

and then I would love
an iced tea.

I'll have an iced tea
as well, actually.

You got it.
Happy to do it, ladies.

Thank you.
I have to congratulate you.

You are in the number one movie
in the country.

This is so crazy.

The number one film
in the country.

It's so crazy.

Kyle, it's a huge deal.

It's really wild.
It's really wild.

It's huge.
I'm sure it's..

- Thank you.
- All over.

It's a big deal.
- And you know what?

The director said
I'm in the next one.

- It's really exciting.
- Cheers.

- Cheers!
- A little something.

Cheers.

[upbeat music]

♪

- So...
- It's so pretty.

I want to introduce to you

peach cobbler
pancake-filled crepe.

You know,
I had never really had the...

- The crepe cake?
- Yeah. So I've called it

the pancake cake.
- But we love it.

I brought a Lady M Cake
to Kyle's house in the desert

when we were all there
last year.

Who would like
some pancake cake?

- Oh, look at that
- ...-ing cake!

That is freaking gorgeous.

Yeah, so we had
to include pancake

in the cake name
just for you.

So here you have 20 layers
of handmade crepes.

I called it pancake cake.

And so all of my friends
were asking me about

what this pancake cake thing
was and what the recipe was,

like I made it.

We finish it off
with a vanilla crumble

to add that bit of texture

and that perfect amount
of crunch in each bite.

- It's beautiful.
- It really is beautiful.

The thing is,
they aren't pancakes.

So what hot cakes have you
had here?

Or just the one
that you brought?

- Just the pancake.
- The one that you brought.

- Just the pancake cake.
- The classic?

Just the classic.
They're crepes.

"Crape" cake.

Or, I guess, in America,
we say "crapes."

Would you like
any coffee or tea?

- I'll have a latte.
- Latte? Sure.

I'll be right back.
- Thank you so much.

Cheers.
Give me a fork.

Oh, cheers. Cheers.

What do you think?
- This is a winner.

Oh, my gosh. It is so good.

This is like holiday
peach cobbler,

whereas summer peach cobbler
is different.

The only person
that would know is Erika,

'cause she's from Georgia,
too, right?

- Yeah.
- Speaking of her,

are you guys...you're good?
- Oh, we're great.

We're best friends.
- Okay, great.

I go over there every day
and bring her coffee,

a croissant,
and I braid her hair.

So Erika seems to be doing
pretty good.

Well, yeah.
And I think it's nice for her

that a headline's
not happening every single day.

She let on...she didn't tell me,

but she let on
that things were better.

We're in a good place
where it's quiet.

- Good.
- But, you know,

that "LA Times" article
bothered me.

That whole...the three of them.

The Garcelle, Crystal,
and Sutton thing.

Oh, tell me.

What bothered me was
Sutton's whole regurgitation

of all of that.
- Right.

Can you get that
outta your system?

- Right.
- You still wanna use me

as your talking point.

By the way, where did
you guys leave it

the last time we all saw
each other with Sutton?

The two of you?

Well, I'm not thrilled
with what Sutton did

on "Watch What Happens Live"
around the charity thing.

A few years ago,
Harry and Lisa both came.

I invited them
to the Elton John gala.

- Okay.
- I never got a thank-you.

- [gasps] Ooh!
- Oh.

All right.

To bring myself and Harry
into it,

you know,
that's a choice you make.

- I mean...
- Who does that?

I do think that it was
probably, like,

a miscommunication thing.

I really didn't know
that they didn't know.

Lisa Rinna just posted
on her story to you...

- Oh, no.
- Uh-oh.

That they did not come
as your guests,

that Elton invited them.
- Oh, okay.

See, we're gonna have
words about this.

- Okay.
- I adore Lisa.

And I don't want, you know,
any ill will over this silly...

- You know.
- Sorry I brought it up,

and it turned
into such a landslide.

- Yeah.
- You know,

Harry sent her a text.

Saying what?

"Sutton, we've been going

"to this event as guests
of Elton's for years and years.

"I don't know
what you're doing,

but whatever you're doing,
you need to stop."

And she never responded.
- No!

You know, Sutton always
talks

about reputation and character
and all of that,

and yet,
she's gonna do that to Harry

and somehow make him look bad?

Wait.

So Harry texted her,
and now she's coming

to his birthday dinner?
- Mm-hmm.

It's one thing
to involve me.

But to involve my husband?

No, ma'am.
No, ma'am.

You .....ed
with the wrong one here.

No.

I'm bringing
a thing of popcorn.

Well, he won't do anything.

He will avoid it like crazy,
you know?

He's not gonna go there,
but still...

- Oh, my God.
- She would probably feel

a little hot under the collar.

I mean, how stupid is that?

She should have kept
her .....ing mouth shut.

Coming up...

Where's my apology?

You're not getting one.

[laughs]
Go [BLEEP] yourself.

- You can [BLEEP] yourself.
- Oh, my God.

[upbeat music]

♪

Harry Hamlin!

We're gonna go
to the Andaz Hotel.

Hi. We're having Harry's
birthday dinner tonight.

Happy birthday, Harry.

Oh, thank you.
I'm not sure if this...

is this a happy one?

Yeah, you're alive.

Did you ever meet
Diana Jenkins,

who's coming tonight?

She was married to a banker
in London who PK knows.

She's not.
She's Bosnian.

I met her through Lindy
and all the Malibu girls.

- So how old is she?
- She's 48,

and she just had a baby.
- You're 48?

- She had a baby at 47.
- What?

Uh-huh.
She did, and she carried it.

[upbeat music]

♪

Tonight is Harry's


No way.

And do you believe
how he looks?

Unbelievable.

[upbeat music]

Tonight we're gonna wear
that new look.

Norma Kamali.
Sexy vixen.

In all the right places.

In all the right places.
We got our mock turtleneck.

Maybe if the conversation
is boring,

I'll just pull my turtleneck
over my face.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪

Oh, I don't think
I've been here before.

Look at your table.
How cute!

- This is us?
- This is us.

- It's great, though.
- Yeah.

See, we'll have
this whole room.

All right,
I'll put the presents here.

Take our masks off now.

So we have to do
our place settings.

I was gonna have you
at the head of the table.

Well then let's put...
I'll sit here,

with Dorit there,
and Kyle there.

See, I'm glad we came early.

Garcelle is next to Mo.

Crystal goes here.

But that leaves Sutton
kind of down in the end.

That's what I wanna do.

Here's the thing.

Tonight's about
Harry's birthday,

and I do not want to bring
this up with Sutton

at Harry's birthday.

Period, end of story.
This is about Harry tonight.

Okay.

We did it?
- We did it.

Did it.

[upbeat music]

I'm very proud of my wife
even coming.

I know.
Me too.

The truth of the matter is,
you know, these girls...

they were all at my house
that following morning.

It helped so much.

Wait, did Sutton...
did Sutton ever text you?

She did.

She didn't come over,
did she?

No, but you have
to understand,

Sutton and I...
we have a friendship,

but she wouldn't be racing
over to my house.

I will say this, though.

I did think it was inappropriate

that, while you were going
through all of this,

she posted a picture,
drinking margarita, saying,

"Thirsty Thursday,"
and cheering

and, like,
having the time of her life.

Did she?

Perhaps I have
a different reason

for feeling more annoyed,
'cause she wasn't

very sensitive yesterday,
in my opinion.

I was...I saw Kyle yesterday.

- Oh, you did?
- She had just seen Dorit.

Just...I...like, I feel it
for her, almost.

What do you mean, she wasn't
very sensitive about it?

So we talked
about what happened,

with what you went through.
- Yeah.

And then she said,

"And I've been putting out
my own fires today."

And I said, "What happened?"

And she said, some designer
of hers in France

couldn't get in, or something.

- Oh, that's a big problem.
- Pardon?

- And I went...
- What?

"That's what you're saying
right now?"

And she said,
"Well, I'm sorry.

"You know, it's my work,
and it's important.

And I'm sorry I didn't have
a g*n held to me."

[gasps]

So between that and the post,
it didn't sit well with me.

- I know.
- I wish you hadn't

have told me that.

[upbeat music]

♪

[laughs] Oh, my God!

Our first guest has arrived.

Yay!

I'm ripping this sh... off.

- Happy birthday.
- Oh, thank you

Hi, sweetheart.
Look at you.

You look fabulous as always.
- Thank you.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

I know.
It's been way too long.

- Thank you.
- Wow.

And with this woman
right here!

- Oh, gorgy. Gorgy.
- Yeah, you look great.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

Thank you.

So now that your ex
is kind of out of the picture,

I am the oldest person
among us.

But, you know,
that makes you also the wisest.

- Sure.
- I love this woman,

and she's also single.

I mean, I think we should
have a threesome

like, that you know...

Oh, Jesus .....ing Christ.
- Yeah, yeah. Um...

♪

- Hello, Garcelle!
- Hi!

- Oh, yeah!
- Look at you.

- Whoo-hoo!
- You know what?

She shows up,
and I show up looking...

Wow, you look great.
- Oh, thank you.

So good to see you.
Happy birthday.

- That is amazing.
- This is for you.

both: Aww.

- Thank you. Look at that.
- No, you're welcome.

both: Mwah, mwah.

I didn't we had gifts coming.

And I noticed on the menu we're
having spaghetti Bolognese.

No. Are we really? Not yours?

- No.
- Shut up.

Seriously?
- Look at the menu.

[laughs]
That's hilarious.

So you can tell me
whether it's any good.

I will tell you.
I will tell you.

I am afraid of spaghetti sauce
now, the whole Bolognese.

Yes, I'm gonna go right up
to the chef and say,

"Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for your sauce."

Hi, guys.

Hi.

Happy birthday.

It's great to see you, darling.

Of course I wanna apologize
right on the spot,

but we're just gonna see
where this is gonna lead.

Hello, nice to see you.

You look so pretty
in yellow.

Thank you. Welcome.

This is Harry's birthday.
It's a big birthday for him,

and I don't wanna
'cause problems.

- Happy birthday!
- So good to see you.

Thank you so much.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Long time, no see.

- You look beautiful.
- So do you.

Mwah, mwah.
I guess that's how we do.

Hi, gorgeous.
- Hi, love.

Mwah, mwah.
- How are you?

- Good. How are you?
- Hi.

I always feel
so small breasted.

I really like Lisa because
she's also small breasted.

Go over there
and small breast her.

[laughs]

I dare you.

Now you're making me nervous.

Well, I can go over there
and talk.

Not by myself.

With who?

With you.

Why are you leaving me
between two camps right now?

Don't do that to me.
- Which way are you gonna go?

To the right or to the left?

Why am I always
in the hot seat?

♪

- Coming up...
- That is a lot of Cartier.

How many rings do you need?

Oh, that one I like!
Thank you so much.

When you go from poor
to rich so fast...

you just want
to .....ing pile it on.

Fast cars, diamonds, whatever.

[upbeat music]

I love you, baby.

- Hello!
- Oh.

Look at all the sparkles.

Happy birthday.
I don't know.

I know you don't want a hug,
but you know.

I'm hugging now.

But you guys especially,
because, you know, my God.

Oh, sh...! [laughs]

- How are you?
- Love you.

Mwah!

- What's happening, Rob?
- How are you?

Good, man. You?

I'm okay.

- You got your martini?
- I do.

Oh, my God.
You smell so good. What is it?

- Baccarat's.
- I have it, too, you b*tch!

- I'm obsessed.
- That's why I know.

- Hi. How are you?
- Good to see you, my friend.

- Happy birthday.
- And thank you so much.

You know, it's one
of those weird birthdays.

It's a great birthday.

- Our friend Diana's coming.
- I heard.

I've known Diana
for a few years now,

but she's known Lisa
for a long time.

I haven't met her.
What do I need to know?

Diana is a firecracker.

- You and your...like a baby.
- My bottle...

this is like my baby
that comes everywhere.

- So get ready.
- Oh, good.

Oh, they're here.
They're here.

That's the birthday boy. Hi!

I think I'm delivering
something to the birthday boy.

Harry, this is for you.
This is a local Croatian wine

that we brought back
with us in the summer.

Well, look
at that bottle of wine!

Holy mother of God.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Hello, gorgeous!
- Gorgeous!

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you!

You look amazing.
That's beautiful.

- Cute.
- Yellow.

You've never met anybody

quite like Diana Jenkins.

All those baby weight
is not moving.

It's not moving.

I mean, you can't really put
your finger on Diana's accent.

- Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you again.

- How's everything?
- Good.

Is it like Zsa Zsa Gabor,
Greta Garbo, Marlene Dietrich?

Her accent is
part of her mystique.

- Hi, honey.
- Hi, you look beautiful.

You look stunning.
You look gorgeous.

I'm so happy you're here.

Diana has a reputation.

She has always been
the it girl in Europe.

She hangs out with
the glitterati of Hollywood...

yacht, planes...
I mean, a big, wealthy life.

- You're good?
- Yeah. I'm great.

- That is all I need to hear.
- Surprisingly.

Diana once said to me, "What
is so cute about you, Crystal,

is that you're so relatable,
and I am not."

And I'm like,
"That's pretty good."

Yeah, that's Diana.

- And Dorit.
- Hi. How are you?

Nice to see you.
- Diana.

both: So nice to see you.
- And this is Sutton.

- Hi, I'm Sutton.
- Nice to meet you.

Hey, Asher,
I'm Sutton Stracke.

- Sutton, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Good to meet you as well.
You look so nice as always.

Asher's quite dashing.

He should be called Dasher.

[clanging]

- Let's sit, everybody.
- Okay.

Garcelle,
you're right next to me.

- I'm right next to you.
- Hi, doll!

- Hello. Mwah. How are you?
- Best seatmate.

Well, look at how lucky
I got.

Harry,
I get to sit next to you.

I know, I have all
the pretty girls around me.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome
to the Andaz West Hollywood.

Chef Jean-Claude has prepared
a burrata salad with fig,

artichoke, and arugula.

As your starter, you're gonna
have the saffron risotto.

As your entree, we have
the spaghetti alla Bolognese.

- Amazing.
- For dessert, we have

fresh berries and cream, too.
- Beautiful.

Once again, welcome,
and enjoy your dinner.

- Thank you.
- This is beautiful.

Baby, do you like being in
between two handsome guys?

I mean...

Are you gonna introduce me?

- I cannot believe...
- Hi! Oh, my gosh.

- Diana, Erika.
- I'm Erika.

Nice to meet you. I saw you...
- You look stunning.

- So do you.
- Wow, beautiful.

I saw you, like, chatting,
and then I was like,

"Introduce me to this woman."

Diana, Erika. Erika, Diana.

Nice to meet you. Welcome.

Believe me, I've heard a lot
of stories about Diana Jenkins.

- He thinks I'm a g*y man.
- I am g*y man.

g*y man stuck
in a straight woman body.

Yeah, I wanna charter
that yacht.

I wanna go stay in Paris
for a month.

Erika Jenkins
doesn't quite have

the right ring, but whatever.

[laughter]

Oh, this looks pretty.

It is so good.
It's very good.

They missed all
of her expensive jewelry.

They were total amateurs.

You know that Cartier necklace
she bought?

They could have
just gone like that.

But they were obviously
so panicked.

This wasn't the Pink Panther.
- I know.

This was
a .....ing smash and grab.

They basically only got purses.
.....ing thirty purses.

- And your watches.
- And my watches.

I don't really care
about the .....ing watches.

I mean, they come and go.
- No, you don't.

Of course you don't.
- And I think really

that my most expensive watch
was 60 grand.

- That's okay.
- Oh, you know what?

That's nothing, actually.

You know that PK and Dorit
were robbed.

At gunpoint.
- Yes, she told me.

- No.
- I left...

- You were not.
- Yeah, I left the day before

'cause I kept saying,
"I don't feel safe.

I don't feel safe."
- What?

Yeah, I put this
under my doors,

and she tried
to get in my door.

And I had this against my door.

She's like, "Is this
the w*r thing?"

I was like,
"No, it's a rich people thing."

I'm not joking.

- Diana.
- That is a lot of Cartier.

How many rings do you need?

Look it. Wait.

Excuse me.
There's another one here.

It's not fair.
There's so many.

I have, like, addiction.

There's so many,
and one to spare.

Thank you.
- She handed 'em over.

Oh, my God.
- Thank you.

Oh, that one I like.
Thank you so much.

It's called nouveau riche,
you know?

When you go from poor
to rich so fast,

you just want
to .....ing pile it on.

You grab whatever
you can get.

Fast cars, diamonds, whatever.

Diana Jenkins...she looks
like .....ing Liberace.

[clanging]
- Uh-oh.

I am Mrs. Hamlin.

I am here with all of you.

Thank you all for coming,
first and foremost.

Thank you.
I'm just here to say

that I am so grateful
that you chose me in your life.

Well, that was pretty easy.

all: Aww!

That's amazing.

I met Harry
when he was 42,

and he had that cute
kind of mullet hairstyle.

It was cute at the time.
Now I look at it and go,

"What in the hell
were you thinking?"

He was hot.

Didn't matter
what his hair looked like.

I wanna toast you,
I wanna celebrate you,

and I want you to know that I
think you're the greatest thing

that has ever happened
since sliced bread.

- Yay!
- Wow.

It's really, really surreal

that Harry Hamlin
is turning 70,

and that we've been together
for almost 30 years.

How does that happen?

And how grateful
and blessed am I?

I want him to be around
as long as I can have him.

Cheers to Harry Hamlin!

all: Harry Hamlin!

- Here, here!
- All right, okay.

Coming up...

I thought you have a receipt
for the table.

- Did you bring them?
- Lisa, come on.

I think we're here
to the bar.

Perfect.

All right, we're gonna
go have a drink.

That's a great idea.

Our drinks are on the house?

This is the moment
where we have fun.

Hey, doll.

What do you do?

Mostly music for
the last number of years.

- Music?
- Music, yeah.

- Awesome.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You sing?
- I sing.

I did a lot of Broadway theater
growing up.

- Oh, good.
- I'm putting out

an album, actually,
at the top of the year.

So you grew up
on Broadway in New York?

Yeah, I mean,
that was like my roots.

That's how I grew up.

Hi, buddy.

You know, I feel so blessed
and grateful

to be able to be here.

Every opportunity we can
to celebrate and live life

and please God, oh, my God,
so...

- Good for you.
- We love you, honey.

And I'm so impressed
by your strength,

and we're so happy you're okay.

Well, speaking of being
thankful for being here,

that would be me.

You know, Lisa and I
have had a little thing.

I don't know
if y'all heard about it,

'cause I may have over-spoken.

[laughs]
I love her accent.

I didn't mean to hurt you

or Harry when I spoke
of something in public,

and that's something
that I don't normally do.

And that was my mistake.

I'm sorry.

I appreciate you saying
you're sorry.

I do,
but you didn't buy a table.

So let's just be
clear about that.

What?

You canceled your table
at the last minute.

- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.

And you left them high and dry,
and I had to scramble

to get the tickets
that we were supposed to have.

- I canceled the .....ing table?
- That's what they told me.

- Who told you that?
- Harry's publicist.

- They're lying to you.
- This is what happened.

I always get tickets.

They gave our tickets away
because Sutton said,

"Please sit at our table."
I said, "Great."

The day before, we got
an email that says,

"Sutton canceled her table.
You guys don't have any seats."

The tickets are sold out.
There's no more tickets.

But they said, "Would you guys
come and do an interview

"for half an hour with IMDb,

and we'll give you seats
at their table?"

So that's what I did.

If we need to dig into it,
we will.

But it's embarrassing
to the charity.

I am
a very philanthropic person.

I'm not gonna be told
that I canceled.

That's not gonna happen. No.

I thought you have a receipt
for the table.

Did you bring them?

Lisa, come on.

First of all,
I don't cancel the table.

Can I just say, guys,
it's a little bit classless.

It's not something
that should ever be discussed.

Don't do it.
Don't do it.

Well you brought it up
that it was canceled, though.

So she's proving that it's not.

I honestly think
that you need to find

a different subject.

I really do think
that it's classless.

You know what?
I'm embarrassed by it.

Both of you, like, honestly...

I mean, I know Rinna
has her own receipts.

Put those away.
That's tacky. That's tacky.

And Rinna's like,
"Yeah, tacky."

It's embarrassing, Sutton.

It's embarrassing
to the charity.

You know better than that.

I also know what slander is.

[dramatic music]

♪

- Oh.
- And I did not cancel a table.

- Are you gonna sue me?
- Slander.

- Are you gonna sue me for...
- That's an interesting word.

You canceled the table
the last minute...

- Slander.
- Per my publicist.

I didn't cancel the table
at last minute.

And he said, "I'm sorry,
You and Harry

no longer have tickets."

I'll have you know that this
is not true.

Sutton, show it.

If that's your proof, show it.
This is your time.

- If you got it, got it.
- If you got it, show it.

I agree.

I have to put my readers on,
because I am 50 now.

So we read, "Will Harry Hamlin
and Lisa Rinna

"be sending in
registration forms

to purchase tickets?"

In return, I write,

"I am going to take care
of Lisa and Harry's tickets.

Here's my Amex."

On February 23rd,
"Thanks so much, Sutton.

We've successfully processed
both for the two seats."

It was $11,500.

That's it.
So, there you go.

She paid for the table,
y'all.

She paid for the table.

But did you back out
last second?

For whatever reason, Lisa
was given that information.

I mean, I'm not trying to be
anything other than,

"This is what I was told."

You guys,
Diana can speak to it

because
she underwrites this party.

This is her event.

I'm starting to see why Rinna
has invited Diana to the party.

She could have paid for it
and said, "I'm not coming."

Right.

I think she's not
only a friend,

but perhaps
a character witness.

And they could have released
the table.

No, she did go.

Oh. As it turns out,

I am very involved
with this charity.

I have been main sponsor
of this charity event

for a very, very long time.

Elton and his husband David
is a very good friend of mine.

That charity is something
that is

very, very close to my heart.

It's very personal.

So you were both at this event?

- We sat at the same table.
- Come on, y'all.

This is so unfair.

Okay. Why is it unfair?
You brought it up, baby.

You've gotta, like,
figure it out

'cause you're the one
that started it.

Sutton thinks a little
too much about herself

because if you're thinking
about a receipt

to somehow one-up me
at my husband's birthday party,

and our good friend
has been held at gunpoint

in a burglary in her home,

something's off
with your empathy meter,

if that's what you're worried
about right now.

Well, do you know
where shaking hands

came from in the first place?

- No.
- It was...it was because

in medieval days,
this was your sword hand.

- Yeah.
- There's a great book

about that
Which talks about

the left was the hand
that you...

you...you...
- Wiped your butt with.

- Wiped your butt with.
- Come on. Let's get real here.

So you'd shake
with the right,

and you would...
- Well, then I must be a freak,

'cause I've never wiped my a*s

with my left hand.
[laughter]

It's getting confusing.

So you guys both had
good intentions,

and we both let,

you know, a little cattiness
jump in here in this moment,

because you're both upset
with each other.

But at the end of the day,
you both wanted to support

a really important charity,
and you did.

So I think that you have to say

that some miscommunication happened,

and honestly,
the receipts it's...

- She did. She did apologize.
- Yes.

She did apologize,
and I do appreciate that.

Lisa, you know what it's like
to step in it.

Yes, I do.

So I did,
and that's what I did.

- Where's my apology?
- And...you're not getting one.

- Why not?
- Because I don't like you.

Oh, good!
This is a mutual thing.

Yeah, never. [laughs]
Go [BLEEP] yourself.

- You go [BLEEP] yourself.
- Oh, my God.

You guys, come on.
We can't talk like that.

Don't talk like that
to each other.

- Shut up.
- You shut up.

- Go [BLEEP] yourself.
- You go [BLEEP] yourself.

Oh, my God.
You guys, come on.

We can't talk like that.

Don't talk like that
to each other.

I like this.
We should stay in this zone.

By the way, what are they
talking about over there?

Uh...
[imitates cat]

I don't know what
they're talking about.

Okay, guys.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, you.

- Shut up.
- You shut up.

Okay. Ladies, come on.

Obviously, Erika is not
over her beef with Sutton.

- You know what you did?
- What?

You pretended
to be my friend,

and you know what that is?
Lying.

No, that's actually
just playing your a*s.

I'm out of here.

- Yeah, I'm out.
- It's so ridiculous.

- You're gonna leave?
- Yeah. I'm leaving.

This is petty.

I mean, it's just too much.

I just feel like
she's apologizing.

Your feelings are hurt.

How do we get past this
so we can move on?

And I just feel like we're
being nasty just to be nasty.

I do, too.
I do, too.

Oh, no, I don't wanna
be nasty.

Let's...I can move on.
- Let's resolve this.

Just accept it. Sure.

I will accept your apology,
and I'd like to move on.

I don't wanna make this
a big deal.

Let's just not.
You know I adore you,

and I would never do anything
to hurt you in a million years.

Okay. That's crazy.

I don't think you adore her.

What?
- I do!

- You do?
- I do.

I like her.
I like Lisa.

I want her to act right,
and I didn't act right.

- Cut it out.
- I'd rather you...

- What?
- Cut it out.

- Oh, shut up.
- No, you shut up.

Come, sit here with me
'cause I can't take this.

- I'm so glad I...
- No, I know,

you're enjoying yourself
too much,

and that's a problem.
- I know! I'm sorry.

- Thank you for your apology.
- I really am sorry.

- I do. And I accept that.
- You know that

I really am sorry.
- I accept that,

and I know that you are.

If these two say "I love you
and I adore you"

and hug each other,
I'm gonna punch

everyone in the face...
[laughs]

[imitating Sutton]
"I really do adore you. I do."

I can't with all this talk.

Honestly, this is
the phoniest reconciliation

I think I've ever seen.

You grab one.
I'll grab the other.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪

Mm, smells so good.

- The lamb chop?
- Lamb.

Do you have, like, any bone
for her?

- Is she stressed?
- Looks good.

I think for her it's all new,

and everybody keeps
forgetting her.

So she's a little bit like...

- Can't forget her.
- Yeah.

All right, you are
with Mommy here. Don't worry.

Hush now, baby.

Don't worry.

Now it's all about you
and that eye.

I live a very big life.

I travel a lot.

It gets
a little bit complicated,

'cause I do have
a big, buzzing household

and I always want
to take everybody with me.

I still don't know
how to put the curtains down.

Let me see
if I can figure it out.

It's, like, really high-tech.

Okay. Wait. Nope.
Hold on.

Bingo.

- You need to...
- Relax.

Honestly, you are more work
than a baby.

Chill out, okay?

- She needs a groom.
- She does.

I feel like London,
she looked the best.

She didn't like London.
She did not.

- She wasn't her special self.
- She did not like London.

Geographically, I usually
have set of houses

that I move around in.

It currently is LA, Sarajevo...

Around five, six houses.

Not to sound
really pretentious,

'cause I do understand
half of my life,

I grew up very poor
in Sarajevo

in a communist country.

- You can't hide from us.
- What?

Oh, no!

Are you too excited?
All right. All right.

Let's go in a quiet place.
Shall we?

- Hey, shall we go, like, play?
- Like, in a quiet place?

Growing up I was definitely
a tomboy, yes.

I only hung out with boys.

I was very, like, tough
and got into fights.

This one is like...

She definitely
has a lot of...

- Bosnian DNA.
- Bosnian DNA, yeah.

'Cause, like, you as a child,
I've heard stories of you,

like, beating up guys
and stuff like that.

- When I beat up that guy?
- He's now like a mafioso.

Yeah, he was, like,
a g*ng leader,

and he was picking
on my brother.

I beat the sh... out of him.

I hit him in the ba*ls,

and I honestly thought he was
gonna, like, kind of k*ll me.

Yeah.

I just got the reputation
that nobody mess with me.

Okay. Don't bite the baby.
I know. I know.

I was 19 years old
when the w*r broke out,

and my dad was determined
to get me out.

I left my family behind.

I was a refugee.

And so once I got to London,

I didn't have a penny
to my name.

I didn't have a passport,
nothing.

I would do different jobs
in restaurant washing dishes,

cleaning toilets,
doing anything to get anything.

You wanna iron a little bit?

- Oh, look, I sweep, look.
- Wanna clean? Good job.

I would say there's good


that were excruciating,

and they were just survival.

I have to go to London
for a week

to do, like, business seminars.
- Okay.

So do you think you're gonna go
back to work with your dad?

- Wow.
- Wow...ooh!

Did you see her stuff that
entire avocado in her mouth?

- Yeah.
- I met my ex-husband

in London, and he was one
of the top investment bankers

in the world.

I went from w*r,
extreme poverty,

to an extreme wealth.

This is
a healthy lunch for her.

- Wow.
- She is liking this.

- Except she everything...
- Everything's coming back out.

Yeah. I felt really rich
when I had my first $1,000,

then I felt really rich
when I had my $10,000.

[laughs]
Very, very rich.

And I realized I haven't
even scratched the surface.

- That's a lot of food.
- Ooh, and now

you're stepping in it.

Okay, okay.
Ooh. Okay. Okay.

Right, right.
It's getting messy up in here.

So why did I get divorced?
Why does anybody get divorced?

In my case, I wasn't happy.

Because truly, bottom line,
I wanted to be on my own.

I want to have
my own identity, I guess.

So wait, when do you leave?

'Cause Eneya is coming here
till Christmas.

I'm leaving with Eneya
on the same day.

Oh, oh great. My ex-husband
and I have two children.

My son, Innis...he is 22 now.

He just graduated.
Very proud of him.

And my daughter,
Eneya, she's 19.

Right now, she is in England,
training horseback riding.

She's hoping to go to Olympics
very soon, so hard workers.

- Oh, oh!
- Go, go, go, Eli! Go, go.

Oh, my God!
- Ohh!

So after my divorce, I was
single for about five minutes.

I met Asher
at Victoria's Secret party.

It was never meant
to be anything else,

and then we just kept
having fun,

kept having fun,
and here we are.

Don't show off too hard now.

- Ah, ah, ah, ah!
- Ooh!

How many days has it been since
she is she just starting this?

both: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Easy with your showing off!

Go to Mommy. Go to Mommy.

Whoa! Yay!
- Ohh!

The age difference between
Asher and I is 15 years.

And he is 33,
so you do the math.

[laughs]

I can hear people saying,
"Well, which one is son?

Which one is boyfriend?"

- Whoa! That is so good!
- Ohh!

I think less and less now

because Asher figured out
how to grow the beard.

Look a little bit older.

Come here, let's see.

Hold on to Pearl, 'cause
she'll start running after me.

But I'm hoping
to get rid of the beard.

I loathe that beard.

Is it, like, a sleep time?

Hi, say, "Bye, guys."

I love you.
[baby coos]

Coming up...

What is going on with you?

It seemed like
you didn't give a sh...

What was I supposed
to do, Kyle?

And you're doubling down,

which is really
freaking me out.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Hello.
- Wait just a minute.

- Hello.
- Hi. How are you?

I'm good.
How are you?

- Good. What's going on?
- Oh, my gosh.

This would actually look cute
with what you're wearing.

I love this...first of all,
I love this guy. He's so cute.

You already
selling me stuff?

I haven't even taken a breath.

It's my job.

We're doing an event
at the store next week,

and I'm very nervous about it.

These are great.
I like this designer.

- This is Alexis Mabille.
- Yeah.

This is who's coming.

Yeah.
So what else is happening?

So what are you gonna do
for your event?

What are you planning?

Like, what...is there a theme?
Because I don't even...

Yes. Well, we just found out
that he could come on Friday.

Who is he?

- Alexis.
- Oh.

Alexis Mabille.
Because they just...immigration

just is allowing
people to come in from Europe.

So we found out on Friday,
and I thought I would do a play

on an American in Paris.
So I do a Parisian in LA.

That's cute. I mean,
you like that theme always.

Oh, my God, its stunning,
but we're in France today.

This is so delicious.

I wanted to bring Paris
to us.

Sutton, it's really good.

I'm such a Francophile.

- Who?
- A Francophile.

- What's that mean?
- It's someone

that loves France.

- Oh, Francophile.
- A Francophile.

I learn
something new every day.

I know, I can teach you
a lot of things.

I'm just wondering
if everything's okay with you.

Yes, I'm really good.

- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.

'Cause now this is...
you're making me think

about something
that's been bothering me.

Go ahead.

When you came
to my old house...

- Mm-hmm.
- After what happened

with Dorit,
it was really hard to shake

what happened to our friend.

Our friend had a g*n
held to her head.

Yeah.

And you were just like, "Oh,
I'm putting out my own fires.

"And, you know,
I've got my designer

coming in from France,
and he was held at the border."

I was having
a very busy morning.

I'm sorry.

Yes?

It's that reaction, again,
that's very strange.

And then you said,
"Well, I'm sorry

I didn't have
a g*n held to my head."

Our friend had
her life threatened.

That was such
a weird thing to say.

I didn't even remember it.
- And then you said...

How can you think that...
it's weird.

That was weird to me.

You don't think...
let's back up.

I wanna back up, then.

You don't think
what I just said to you...

I was working.
I am sorry.

I was working,
and I was talking about that.

And maybe my brain was there.

I don't remember.
It's confusing.

I don't know if this is

a new you or side of you
I didn't know.

I don't know.

I just know
that you seem a little off.

Kyle.

Yes?

I don't know
what planet Sutton's on.

I don't think
it's this one, though.

Something's up.

Nothing's up.

It seems like you
didn't give a sh...

That's not true,
and you know it. And stop it.

No, I'm not.
I'm telling you the truth.

- Stop it.
- I'm telling you the truth.

I don't deal well with...

Emotions?
'Cause you cried a lot

last year about moving out
of your house.

I don't deal well with g*ns.

I don't deal well
with burglaries.

Nobody does.
Nobody does.

Well, my house was broken
into when I was 14 years old.

So here's that.

My father
shot himself in the head.

So there's that.
Is this what you want?

No, that's not what I want.

Oh, Sutton, it's not
about you right now.

I'm sorry.

And you're doubling down,
which is

really freaking me out.

A part of me wants to say,

"I know
that Sutton is not like this.

I know her
to be better than that."

But another side of me
is thinking to myself,

when someone shows you
who they are, believe them.

How can you be so insensitive?

I don't know if that
you're just so wrapped up

in your own world
that you're not even listening,

or you just don't care.

What was I supposed
to do, Kyle?

Your reaction
was your reaction.

Your reason is your reasoning.

But I had to say something,

'cause
it has been bothering me.

No, not seeing it.

Next time,
on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills"...

[upbeat music]

- Hello!
- Hi!

- Hi, guys,
- You look pretty.

♪

- I love the store.
- Thank you.

Here we go, guys.
[cheering]

This is not a good sign, everybody.

Sutton and I...
we had a conversation yesterday

that was intense.
- Did she really say,

"I'm sorry I didn't have
a g*n to my head"?

What were you just doing
behind my back?

I was stabbing you
behind the back.

I'm sure you are stabbing me
behind the back.

Oh, wait.
You pull mine out first.

I'm just very triggered
by the whole thing.

You're comparing apples
to oranges.

- You can't say that.
- Because my feelings

are irrelevant to them.
- No.

Are you out
of your .....ing mind?