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11x08 - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Leather Pants

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills". Aired: October 14, 2010 – present.*
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Focuses on the personal and professional lives of women who live in or near Beverly Hills, California.

11x08 - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Leather Pants

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously, on
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

Hey, guys.

- It's looking good.
- Oh, wow.

- Looking really good.
- Right?



I left all of that behind.

Who's that?

[screams]
Oh, my God.

- Portia, come on!
- Who is that?

Is that Sophia?

I can't breathe!

Sophie!

My daughter is linked to

a guy named Scott Disick.

- So there's something to it.
- Yes.

When I meet Scott Disick
for the first time...

- Oh, no.
- Do I need to call him "Lord"?

- You cannot.
- Yes, absolutely.

- No.
- Kathy, are you kidding me?

And you do a little curtsy.

- "Violation" is a big word.
- Look it up. It's not.

You've got to stop saying
that I violated you, 'cause I...

I'm not gonna back down
on that word.

[upbeat music]

This town
is a game of chess,


but no one's
taking this queen down.


My lips are legendary,

and they will never gloss
over the truth.


If you want a starring role
in my life,


you better drop the act.

Dress like there's
no tomorrow.


And then tomorrow,
do it again.


Anyone who doubts
my exquisite manners


can kiss
my exquisite derriere.


Hollywood is full
of pretenders.


And I slay them all.

The strongest substance
on earth isn't diamonds.

It's me.

[♪ ♪]

*THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS*
Season 11 Episode 08

Episode Title: "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Leather Pants"

[BLEEP] you, Crystal.

Why are you so defensive?

You're upset because
you're jealous, period.

Jealous of what?

Your ugly leather pants?

- Sutton, Sutton, don't run.
- Oh, [BLEEP].

Are you ****ing kidding me?

Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.

What's happening?

What happened?

[dramatic music]

- Okay, I got the list.
- Do you have a list?

- I do.
- I'll get a cart.

[upbeat music]

Okay, we're gonna start
with some veggies over here.

[♪ ♪]

We need some garlic.

They got a lot this morning.

And they've got some
good garlic, too.

Do you have mushrooms?

Baby Bella,
if they have them.

It doesn't say.

These are baby Bella
over here.

- How do you know?
- 'Cause of the color.

This is white,
and that's brown.

Oh.

Harry is an amazing cook.

And some of his specialties
are his Kobe beef,

which is "the Harry's meat."

I'm here for
Harry Hamlin's meat.

- Okay.
- Walk on down here

to grab some steak.

Blueberry pie.

Okay, there's pie number one.

- Oh, you made this?
- Yeah, Harry made the pie.

You made this pie?

Listen,
Tom's not making a pie.

I love you.

And there's Bolognese.

I was thinking of having
the girls over

for a Bolognese night.

I'm for that,
'cause it's easy.

- Okay.
- Bolognese's easy for me.

That one might be fun,
because they haven't had that.

Yeah, we could get
the big, long table out.

Harry's Bolognese
is so well-known.

Like, he makes it
in Canada all the time,

and everyone loves it.

I could use little
itsy-bitsy pumpkins.

- For what?
- For the table.

Oh!

Harry is the domestic one.

Harry does all the cooking.

'Cause you don't
want me cooking.

What about these real pumpkins?

No, the table's small.
We don't have enough room.

Here, we're gonna get
these things.

We'll put these in the middle.

I, on the other hand,
am a great hype man

and a great cheerleader.

I make you feel fabulous

while you're doing
all the work.

- All right, what else?
- We're done.

- That's it?
- This is it.

Let me just see if there's

anything down here I need.

- Do we need anything else?
- No.

- Do we have enough olive oil?
- Yeah.

We don't need anything.

Stop, we're done.

Just let me check to see if

there's no Whispering Angel.

Hi, there.

Where did the wife go?
Um.

- I love these burgers.
- The best burgers in LA.

They're the best, I know.

We've got four arms
if she comes.

But I've lost her.

People in line here?
Ay-yi-yi.

Ooh, I like these coffees.

[upbeat music]

[♪ ♪]

This is, like, our kind
of ode to summer tennis day.

- It's really beautiful.
- This house is...

- Yeah, no, come on.
- It's next-level.

It's amazing.

I've heard
your house is unreal.

And I've heard your new place
is amazing.

My new house is cute, yeah.

Kathy's very generous
with her court.

So, you've played here
a few times.

Yeah, I live, actually,
up the street.

- I know, it's fab.
- Yeah, I know.

- It's beautiful, right?
- This is, like, way fab.

See, that's the great part
about having friends

like Kathy Hilton.
It's just like,

"Yeah, come use
my tennis court.

I'm not even around,
but just let yourself in."

- Should we warm up?
- How do we warm up?

- I don't know anything, so I...
- We'll do, like,

- baby tennis, like mini-tennis.
- We'll do baby tennis, yeah.

- Oh, okay.
- You just follow us.

- Then we'll play a set?
- Eh.

You're gonna be great,
I have a feeling.

Okay, so you know...
You know the rules. Basic?

- I don't know any rules.
- What do I do?

- Just swing.
- You're perfect.

Just swing.

Oh.

Oh!
[chuckles]

Were you impressed until then?

I'm trying to motivate myself
to get out

and do things and not wallow.

[sighs]

So, you know, I'm here.

Oh, sorry.

And I'm terrible.

- Erika, you ready?
- I guess, I mean...

To play a whole game?

I'll serve, I'll serve.

[upbeat music]

Yes, Crystal!

My partner's so major.

Like a mini Serena.

Yeah, I'm totally a tomboy.

Super into sports.

Hey, nice.
Straight right.

Left hook.
Roundhouse.

There we go!

I've been told I'm the most

hideously competitive person,

and I don't think that.

[♪ ♪]

Nice, Crystal.

- Yeah, girl, yeah, girl.
- [laughs]

But then, you know,

whoever said that's
probably a loser, so.

I love it, we're winning
because of you.

- I'm doing nothing.
- Yeah, we're together.

- You're our cheerleader.
- Exactly how I like it.

Crystal and her friends
are good.

I'm just like...

- Oh.
- Yes!

Hold on.

So, if you guys win the next
point, you win this game.

Oh, my God.

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- Yes! We won!
- We won!

That was horrible.

- I love you guys.
- Ladies, thank you

for being kind.

I enjoyed it.

Thank you.

That was fun.

So, do you think
this is, like, a new

- life choice of yours?
- I-I'm not so sure.

Okay.

Her willingness is a ten.

But skill level at a two.

[laughs]

- Nice to meet you both.
- Nice to meet you.

Love you.

- Bye.
- Have fun.

- Hey.
- Hi, honey.

- Hi, there she is.
- Come on in out of the cold.

I feel like we're in
the mountains.

Hilly, chilly.

Thank you so much

for letting us
use the court again.

How are ya?

I think I'm still recovering.
I'm exhausted.

Literally, I got out of bed,
like, 45 minutes ago.

- Just sit wherever you want.
- I'll sit here.

And we got the fruit.
It is so yummy.

It was bought
early this morning.

- This is so good.
- What are you up to?

Trying to organize
for the holidays.

Oh, my God.
My house, that's a shamble!

My clothes sleep
in two of the bedrooms,

I sleep in one bedroom.

You know what?
It's yours.

That's right.
And it's all I need.

And right now, you probably
only want something like that.

I didn't need to take on
what I left.

And it's a totally
different area

from where you were, right?

Totally different
part of town.

You can explore
a whole new... yeah.

- Are you social?
- I mean, I am,

- when I'm comfortable.
- Okay.

I'm a little bit of a...

And when you were married...

Oh, that was full-on social,

but it was all business social.

But it was business,
and it was probably

more of what he wanted.

That would be
all of what he wanted.

When I entered this marriage,


which was 20 years ago,

Tom had everything...
It was all set up,

so I just inserted myself
in there.

And now you get to do
what you want.

Right.

Just because you

"have a lot of money"

doesn't mean that you
"have a lot of independence."

And if you're not in charge

of your own finances
from the get,

where you gonna go?

What am I gonna do?

For a long time,
lived with two housekeepers

that, you know, they made it
like a show place.

- I love it out there.
- It's very pretty.

This is the living room.

All right.
Here it is.

- Welcome to my chapel.
- Wow.

And now I'm the housekeeper.
I'm doing laundry myself.

You should see me.
I'm, like, washing dishes.

There's no housekeepers,
there's no gardeners.

And I really value my privacy,

so in some respects,

I kind of like it.

And I can throw my sh...
All over the place,

so, you know,
doesn't even matter.

It's my place.

Honey, I have to raise
my glass to you.

You're happy; you've got
a smile on your face.

- Yeah.
- And it's not forced.

No, thank you.

You know, I would lie to you

if I said that I did not
have my ups and downs.

- Sure.
- You know, I pull myself up

by my bootstraps
and keep on going.

- Yes, you do.
- Yeah.

Coming up:

Amelia will go
to Cabo tomorrow.

[upbeat music]

[♪ ♪]

Oh, that's nice, guys.

Really fun.

- Christmas!
- It's so funny!

Okay, okay, okay.

[laughs]
Dad.

I'm gonna hate having my foot
in there, hold on.

- Yeah, you are.
- Let me put it over here.

- I'm very flexible.
- Oh, my God.

- How'd you do that?
- Really nice and snuggly.

- Really fun.
- [laughs]

Merry Christmas.

- Oh, my God, is that cute.
- Aunt Kathy's here.

- Whoo!
- I love it.

Now, am I supposed to be
in the card?

- Oh, my God.
- We were doing a pretty one

and a funny one with
all the stuff from quarantine...

Chips, wine, remote control.

How... from...
Oh, yes, definitely.

- Think we got it.
- We're done?

- We're done.
- I... You're done?

Finito.

- Well, that was really quick.
- Oh, these are cute.

Have you done all your trees
and everything?

- Is it put up now?
- We are pretty much done.

You know, I'm not doing
our huge party.

Kathy, look at this face.

She's the cutest thing
I've ever seen in my life.

You know,
this is a great width.

- This table?
- Mm-hmm.

We never eat
at the dining table,

- 'cause it's for 16 people.
- You'd never use that.

It's almost like
that should be another den.

I think it was
back in the day.

The dining room was
one of the other rooms.

- What are you doing?
- Oh, smell this.

What is all this stuff?
What do you have in here?

Everything
and the kitchen sink.

Wait, why are you
having this?

- And I got this.
- What are you doing?

I'm dry.

[laughs]

You can find everything
in my bag, basically.

You name it.

Socks, an extra pair of shoes,

a sweater.

Carpet samples, drapery
samples, wallpaper samples.

There's sandals in there
for a pedicure.

I know that.

But what is... why do you have?

- Smell this, just spray it.
- Are you going on a trip?

No, I just have to have it

so I get all my nutrients.

Okay.

Actually,
I can't find my bag.

I was actually
looking for the bag.

It's a big bag.

I talked to Kim
for three hours.

- Why?
- 'Cause I hadn't talked

- to her in a while.
- I'm worried about her

on Thanksgiving, I feel bad.

Imagine if you don't have
your husband or your kids,

and you're in quarantine
all this time.

I said if she wanted
to come...

She said she really...

Is too nervous.

Maybe that's why,
'cause I texted her

and I didn't hear back.

You got the wrong number.

She changed her number.

She did?

- What's going on with Kim?
- We're not not talking.

I mean, it's not amazing.

You know, obviously,
it's a strained relationship.

When Kathy and I were
going through our problems,

they were okay.

And then there's times
that Kim and I are okay,

and then neither one of us
are talking to Kathy.

It seems to be hard
to get all three of us

on the same page
at the same time.

You know,
we've invited her to things,

and she doesn't come.

So, she's just by herself,
every day.

But she has been
for nine months.

I know, that's making me
feel bad.

I have my husband.

I have my children.

I have all my dogs.

And then I think
of Kim by herself.

The holidays is a hard time
being alone as it is.

But she said
this was supposed to happen.

- Kim said that?
- Mm-hmm.

And she said for us all
to have

this quiet time out
to figure out

where we want to be in life.

She sounded great.

That's good.

We should do a lunch or dinner
with her soon, though.

That's what I said.

I feel like I've lost so much
in my relationships.

I know what you mean.

I feel like
I don't see anybody.

Hi, honey.
Honey, you going to work out?

- Yeah.
- You're impressing me.

- Where are you going?
- Our gym.

- Oh, right here you can do it.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna go work out.

Oh, honey, I just drank that.

Did you put that
in the refrigerator for you?

- Yeah.
- Oh, sorry.

We still have to be careful.

He's my husband.

[all laughing]

Oh, my God.

[upbeat music]

[♪ ♪]

- Oh, hey, now.
- Okay, this is so cute.

[laughs]

I love this neighborhood.

- Hi, honey.
- Hi, good morning.

Good morning.
How are you?

- Here you go.
- Oh, my God.

- Thank you so much.
- We have to, to...

- To, like, christen the house.
- Christen the house.

- Thank you, come on in.
- Look at this.

- Love it.
- Come in here.

Here's the living room.

Oh!

I just love it so much.

- I get such a good vibe here.
- I love it.

- Don't you get a good vibe here?
- Yes.

Oh, are you kidding me?

- No, I'm not.
- This is so fabulous.

It's so charming.
[gasps]

Look at these lights
that they put in.

- Mm-hmm.
- You know, there's a real

hopeful feeling seeing Erika

in her own space
that she's created.

Okay, this is
freaking fabulous.

- Right?
- 'Cause it's not easy

to go from the life
that she had,

where you had help
do everything for you,

to now, she's doing it all.

I like how you've brought in
your pieces; you can see.

You know,
I didn't bring a lot.

- You brought these, right?
- Yeah.

- And you brought this.
- Yes.

I had to have a couple
of the chairs

- and things like that.
- Yeah.

Oh, God, yes.

But let's not forget,

I wrote a "New York Times"
Best-Selling book.

I was just on Broadway.

I had multiple
shoe collaborations,

a makeup collaboration.

I have enough for Postmates,
my little house.

I'm all right, it's okay.

I hear her.

- So pretty.
- Hi!

- Hi, honey bunny.
- What are you doing?

Have you got
more stuff in your hands?

Come on in. How are you?
You look cute.

- Good.
- These are great.

- Drop your stuff.
- Okay, I've got to tell you.

- Yes.
- You guys, housewarming...

Wait, wait, wait.
Are you in here?

I'm in here,
but more importantly,

Mr. Dolce.
It's a signed one.

- Oh! Wow.
- Nice.

'Cause I know
you're a book person.

Fabulous, yes.
Thank you so much.

- That's beautiful.
- Thank you.

- Well, happy housewarming.
- Thank you.

For Erika, what better
housewarming present

than to give her the
Dolce & Gabbana Queens book.

- There's the...
- Oh, my God.

- Look how great that is!
- You look great!

Fab, you look fab.

- Come on, let's go outside.
- Okay.

You know,
she's feeling sad or lonely,

she can always
flip through the pages

and find my picture.

Not once but twice.
But, you know.

- To your new home.
- Oh, thank you guys.

- Cheers!
- Cheers, cheers, cheers.

- Cheers, cheers.
- Yay!

My God, ladies,
thank you for supporting me,

because this is
a big life change.

I went from monstrosity
to cute, tiny chic.

But you're happier.

That's proof that
you did the right thing.

I hate to say that,
but it's true.

- You know, it's hard.
- When you're not being heard,

when you're bringing up
real things

that need to be talked about,
and it's pushed out,

there's only so much time
before you go,

"You know what, wait a minute."

I mentioned that I was

going to see a psychiatrist,

'cause I was
feeling depressed, and...

"Oh, okay."

There was never any,
"Well, Erika,

what do you think is going on?"

Because, remember,

what do I have
to be depressed about?

All right, what's going on
with you, seriously?

Y'all, seriously,
I'm gonna tell you.

- Why is it still going on?
- Crystal, last night...

She's not willing
to kind of back up

a little bit and say,
"Maybe I said the wrong word."

- But here's the thing.
- Yes.

On Tuesday, are we gonna sit

and talk about this still?
Probably.

Jesus Christ.
You know, we can talk about it,

but we're not gonna
talk about me being...

- A peeping Tom?
- Yeah.

That... we have to drop that.

Oh, that was cute, Thomasina.

[laughs]

Tell us what "Thomasina"
means.

Thomasina's a peeping Tom.

Yeah, I don't think
peeping Toms

actually knock
on the door first.

I think they're, like,
across the street,

and, like, peep.

- Because that's... that's not...
- Well, it's...

- There's something else.
- It's not right.

Coming up:

Amelia's 19.

That's how old I was
when I had my first.

Can you imagine?
So, just so you know,

could be happening.

[upbeat music]

[♪ ♪]

Jax.

Yeah?

Japanese time.

Yeah.

I'm making chicken Parmesan

and I don't have any cheese.

How was Japanese last week?

Same as always.

Can I see a little bit
of what you're doing?

Oh, my God, I couldn't
read this if you paid me.

It's not.
It's a different language.

Okay, what does this say?

I have to get on
in half a minute.

Okay, I'm not
interrupting you.

I'll be over here
having my wine.

Hopefully not being too loud.

- Konichiwa.
- [speaking Japanese]

"Translate the sentences
into Japanese."

- Yeah.
- Let's do...

Sorry, Jax.

Hello?

Hey, honey, can you come down

and empty the dishwasher
for me, please?

I did that yesterday!

Can you please do it again?

I can't talk really loud.
Jax is here.

Sorry, that's my mom talking.

[speaking Japanese]

Perfect!

[dishes clattering]

Being trapped inside
of the house

with two teenage boys

is maddening.

[dishes clattering]

- Are you okay?
- [laughs]

The boys are home-schooling.

Everybody's on top
of each other.

I find myself going
into the pantry

and having a quick
shot of tequila.

- Okay.
- See you next.

- [speaking Japanese]
- [speaking Japanese]

- You good over there?
- Mm-hmm.

Come on, Jaid.
Come on, lighten up.

Listen, honey,
I am on a hormone train

with these teenagers.

I don't know
what's happening next.

Get out of this funk.
Otherwise,

it's gonna be a really
tough week this week.

Stop it right now.

Do you understand me?

Last week, Jaid

didn't want me to get married.

He wants me all
to himself, right?

Don't you want me to have love?

You love me.

I do love you.

Oh, my God, are you
declaring your love for me?

This week, he wants absolutely
nothing to do with me.

Jax, you want to say
the prayers?

Sure, 'cause depressed boy
over there won't.

Just leave him alone.
Don't add on to it.

Thank you for
this beautiful day.

Thank you for bringing us
all together as a family.

Amen.

- Amen.
- You gonna eat?

- Jaid, please eat.
- What is wrong with you?

Come on, Jaid, stop.

Seriously, you're gonna have
a problem with me this week.

Okay, well... okay,
then don't eat.

All right, go upstairs.

When I grew up,

even though you
were a teenager,

you weren't allowed
to have those kind of emotions.

And I'm raising them different
from how I was raised,

but it's still hard.

You still take it personally.

What should I do
with your brother?

Take away all of his chargers
for his phone,

so he has to limit the time
he's using on them,

and he keeps getting
more scared

as the battery goes down.

- That sounds like t*rture.
- Exactly!

- Psychological.
- You're such a dark kid.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

[♪ ♪]

It looks so cute, Harry.

It's Positano in Beverly Hills.

Everything's kinda ready.

The spinach salads
are in the fridge.

Did you see those?

Spinach from our garden.

Insalata di spinaci
alla Romana.

Gorgeous.
How exciting,

eating from our garden.

- What's this?
- That's spinach.

- Oh.
- Gotta have a lot of spinach.

Tomatoes are done.

There's quite a few here.

And the lettuce
that's around it

is also from the garden, so.

Fantastic.

Harry lived in Italy
for three years.

He loves the cuisine of Italy.

And, you know, it's the best
of the best in Italy,

so I think it's now
just in his blood.

Lucky me.

Tell me
which one of these two

- you like the best.
- Okay.

That needs a little
sweetness to it.

All right, next one.

Use a different spoon, please.

I know, I just caught myself.

How gross is that?
Sorry.

Which one do you like better?

This one.

That's the one made
with our tomatoes,

- exclusively from our garden.
- Oh!

That's the one I like the best.

That's why it tastes
the best,

because those are
homegrown tomatoes.

Wow.

Do you want to be the one

that brings out the cake
for Garcelle?

That would mean
I'd have to stay.

You don't have to stay.

You could do whatever you want,
Harry Hamlin.

I need to go get dressed.

Garcelle wanted to have
a birthday party this year.

My birthday's coming up.
I want to have a Birkin party.

I need a Birkin too.
Let's do that.

Due to the COVID surges,
we couldn't do it.

And I am still in the process

of repairing
my relationship with Garcelle.

I just want you to know

that it's going
to take some time.

- And I'm okay with that.
- So, we're there.

But I understand that even
though I had a relationship

with Garcelle
for the past 20 years,

I can't force it.

- The girls are on their way.
- What?

The girls are on their way.
They're gonna be...

Someone's gonna be here
like in ten minutes.

- What?
- It starts at 1:30.

At the end of the day,

Garcelle and I might not end up

being great friends.

Some people last,
and some people don't.

And it's a ride, baby,
so we're on the ride.

When is the charcuterie coming?

- Charcuterie?
- [groans]

Coming up:

I pray to Jesus every day.

- You think he'd throw me a bone.
- What's that?

I just need a bone, you know?

[upbeat music]

[♪ ♪]

[knock at door]

Hello?

Hi, my love bug.

It's a winter wonderland.

- Isn't it? I know.
- Wow.

I know, look at
my village, Kyle.

- Oh, my God, this is so extra.
- I know.

- I feel so...
- Well, what did you expect?

I'm such an underachiever.

Oh, my God,
didn't you get, like,

five people in
to decorate for you?

Well, I have three trees.

But I don't have
a Santa's village.

Do you have a bottle of wine

or something
we can take to Rinna?

I forgot and ran out
of the door.

Yes, absolutely.

Hold on, let me put
these two beauties down.

That's the little baby
you just got recently?

Yes.
Remember I was telling you?

- Yeah.
- Kyle and I both

share an obsession with Hermes.

Okay, the bag over there
is very distracting.

I cannot.

I've just got my pretty
little Mini Kelly,

and I love it.
I love it.

I know she loves rosé.

- Okay.
- So we'll do rosé.

- It is her favorite.
- Okay, great, perfect.

- Here, honey, let me help you.
- No, no, no.

Have some free hands,
why don't you?

- Let me help you.
- I'll just carry everything.

Let me help you.

Let me help you
carry some stuff.

Get your paws
off my Mini Kelly,

or you're gonna see
some real claws.

Are you gonna do
a holiday card?

Yeah, I'd like to.

I'm actually designing
a dress for it.

- Ooh.
- So, you know,

I'm designing
the wedding dress range.

I saw.
That picture was insane.

I've worked in fashion and
design for almost 20 years,

but mostly in the beachwear,
resortwear, swimwear world.

- Just pull your boobs in, yeah?
- Yeah.

Beverly Beach
is doing so well.

And now,
I'm pivoting to bridal.

Hi, Nektaria.

We're very, very excited.

I got the most recent sketches.

I mean, this is just so epic.

Nektaria's
an accomplished designer

who's been in the bridal
industry for years,

and they're looking for
more fashion-forward dresses.

And so she reached out to me
to collaborate

on a wedding dress line

because of my fashion sense.

And she loved my style.

So, I'm doing
the wedding dresses

along with evening gowns
and c*ck dresses.

There's that little doubt
in your mind,

where you wonder,
"Oh, my God, can I do this?

"I've never done bridal before.

I don't know
one thing about it."

And then the other side
of my brain says,

"Oh, my God, please.
You've designed before.

"Designed a room
in a restaurant.

You're a creative person."

These are all the best fabrics,

and the artistry
and craftsmanship...

I mean, they are
on the higher end.

I can't wait for the day
that I see the first bride

walk down the aisle
in one of my designs.

And then I'm also doing,
you know, like, ready-to-wear,

but all dresses.

When I got married,

I had no idea what I wanted.

I just wanted a dress
that made me feel good,

that had, like,
a little bit of drama,

a little bit of extra,

something special.

God, I wish I could have
designed my own wedding dress.

[upbeat music]

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

[♪ ♪]

I always want to just,
like, walk in.

I always walk
into everybody's house.

- Hello.
- Oh, hi. Of course,

Harry has to be there.
Hi, Harry.

We're just walking in.
We figure

we're at that level
at this point in our lives.

Just walking right in?
You're welcome.

How are you?

You've taught me this, so now...

Come on outside.
Yeah.

- Welcome to Positano.
- This is so pretty.

- Wow, this is gorgeous!
- Wow, che bello.

- This is gorgeous.
- This looks beautiful.

Did you set this?

Or did Lisa set this?

- I need to know these things.
- She did nothing.

She did nothing?

She's looking beautiful
and turning up.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, this looks
really beautiful.

That would be very different
in my house, let me tell you.

My husband would never know
how to do this.

Never in a million years.

Harry, the gourmet chef,

specializes in grilled beef,

blueberry pie, Bolognese.

Go on down...
Drinks are down here.

I don't know if she told you

not to wear high heels.
Obviously, she didn't.

- She didn't.
- No.

PK, who specializes in,

"Babe, can you make me
a sandwich?"

This is really a special
piece of property.

Lisa was saying
you're gonna build a pool

or something someday there?

Well, the pool
is not for us.

It's so that the kids
come back with their kids.

- Yes.
- And lay out.

Amelia's 19.
That's how old I was

when I had my first.
Can you imagine?

So, just so you know,
could be happening.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, my God.

- I was 19 when I had Farrah.
- Oh, my gosh.

Can you imagine?

I mean, next event here
is gonna be a baby shower.

Hi, girls.

- Hi.
- Hi, mama.

Of course, she didn't tell us
not to wear heels, Harry.

- She's wearing heels.
- I'm wearing heels too.

He said, "Didn't Lisa
tell you not to wear heels?"

I'm like, "She knows better,
with this group."

You guys, walking on
this grass, oh, my God.

[BLEEP], I don't want to
ruin my shoes.

Don't ruin your shoes.

I told them
grass-appropriate shoes.

[upbeat music]

[♪ ♪]

This way? Okay.
Thank you so much.

How cute is this?
Hi. Let me see her.

- Hi.
- I know, right?

A pink one?

- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Crystal, welcome.

- Thank you.
- Your house is stunning.

[♪ ♪]

Let me in.

Let me go up and just see,
like, who's coming

and be, you know, the host.

- And I'll be back.
- Okay, okay.

Thank you so much.

- Okay, here's another one.
- Hi.

Guys, what are you drinking?

Belvedere, club soda,
three lemons.

I'll have what she's having.
Thanks so much.

- Well, hello, there.
- Well, hello, darling.

- Come in.
- Aren't you beautiful?

Hi, welcome.

I was telling them how
you're a tennis pro.

Oh, God.

I was so horrible.

You look cute.
How are you?

- Hello, how are you?
- Your sister.

We have another
matching moment?

Yeah, kind of.
A little bit.

Maybe I'll have
a little champagne.

- Buongiorno.
- Buongiorno.

- You look beautiful.
- Well, thank you.

So, the girls are out here.

- Okay.
- I'll show you down

- to where they are.
- Yeah, show me.

I'm so excited to be here.

Cute, right? I know.

This is really,
really beautiful.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I love this dress, welcome.
- Well, we're kitty cats.

Come on in.
Have a seat.

- Hi.
- Come on in.

- Hi, guys.
- How is everything?

Oh, my gosh,
it's so busy right now.

Hi, Thomasina.

[tense music]

[♪ ♪]

Swear to God.

Tommy.

That's a great thing.

Are we gonna start with that?
That's fun.

[♪ ♪]

Coming up:

Make a wish.

I want him hung like a horse.

[all screaming]

Be careful what you wish for.

[chill music]

How's everything?

Oh, my gosh,
it's so busy right now.

Hi, Thomasina.

That's a great thing.

Are we gonna start with that?
That's fun.

I'm getting to
a breaking point with

"violator," "peeping Tom,"
"Thomasina."

It's not funny,
and I'm ready for it to end.

These girls need to stop.

Thank you so much.
Thank you.

Where's Garcelle?
Is she coming?

Garcelle!
Hey!

- There she is.
- Welcome!

- Thank you so much.
- Come on in.

I haven't been here
in a while.

I know.
Hi, sweetie.

It's been a while.
How are you?

I think since
my 50th birthday.

Yes.
Oh, my God.

Seven years ago,
you were here.

The dance floor, we were on
the dance floor all night.

- Yeah.
- Everybody was dancing.

Everybody was having
a good time.

It was really, really fun.

And then my assistant...
Weeks later,

I said, "Oh, my God, remember?"

She goes, "I was your date,

and you stumbled out of there,"

which I don't remember.

- It was fun, wasn't it?
- It was so much fun.

Sit down, sit down, sit down.
You look so cute.

Hi, everybody.
Thank you.

- Hey, Garcelle.
- Hi.

All right,
I'm gonna check on the food.

I'll be right back.

Should we start
making our way there?

Yes, I think we should.
Bring your drinks.

We're bringing it.

We're already wobbling
'cause of the heels.

You tell them that we don't
stand on ceremony here?

We dig in, 'cause it's gotta
be eaten while it's hot.

Dig in... go and eat,
eat, eat, eat, eat.

- God bless the chef.
- God bless the chef.

Cheers, everyone.

Cheers.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Lisa, thank you
for having us today.

- Yes.
- Thank you to Harry.

Once he comes out,
we'll toast him.

Oh, you're coming.
Oh!

I didn't know you were coming.

I'm moving.
Excuse me.

All right.
We got to eat.

Oh, my God,
this is exciting, Harry.

This is really good.
Wow.

Is Delilah still in Europe?

No, she's in Tulum right now.

And where is Amelia?

Amelia is here,
and will go to Cabo tomorrow

and meet them,
because we will not.

But she's gonna go. because...

Yeah, no,
it's not appropriate,

for me, at my age...
Ripe old age...

Subject myself to the virus.

The plan for Thanksgiving
this year was for Harry and I

to meet the girls in Cabo.

But we were afraid,

because of the COVID surges,

that we would get to Cabo

and they'd shut the border down

and I wouldn't get back.

We decided that
we should stay here.

And if Amelia wants to go,
it's okay.

So, this is the first time
I won't be spending

Thanksgiving,
not only with the girls,

but with Lois.

No, she's not.

She's going by herself.

Dorit, we're talking
about Scott Disick.

- Oh.
- Anyway.

- Mazel tov or no?
- He's too damn old.

- I know!
- He's old.

And he's got three kids.

That is not a good match.

I don't ask a lot
of questions right now.

Oh, my mom would
have riddled me.

No, I know.

My husband's


and we met when I was 20.

But Rob and I
are the exception.

Would I want
that for one of my daughters?

No.

Pick on someone your own size.

Guess what?

We all fall in love
with older men.

But here's the truth.

Amelia's having a good time.

I'm having a bad time.
Whatever, it's life.

That's the way it goes.

There's a lot coming,
you know, at us.

And I'm just
being easy with it.

Last ****ing week, the tabloid

had them in the corner,
engaged.

Really?

The press stuff
that's coming is, like,

holy guacamole.

My mom saw it at the market

and called me, and said,

"Is this true?"

I'm like, "Mom, no."

But, I mean,
that's what we're dealing with.

Do you ask
a lot of questions?

How do you feel, Harry,
about this situation?

Yeah, how do you feel?
Just tell them, come on.

My feelings about it...
I must confess,

the issue that's the most
enduring is the age difference,

which, to me, is odd.

But then again,
every time I think about it,

I think of myself
and Ursula Andress,

when I was 14 years younger
than she, when we had Dimitri.

So I can't really
complain, right?

Well, how old were you...

I mean, you could,
but we won't listen.

- When you had Dimitri?
- I was... I was 29.

- You were 29.
- She was 44 when she had him.

- Wow.
- You don't think about that

when you have kids, you know?

That's not
your thought process.

Like, "Oh, this is
gonna come back

to haunt me 100,000 times."

You don't think about that.

Now that I have dined,

I'm gonna leave you guys to it.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Harry.

- Lovely to see all of you.
- Thank you, too.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Thank you.

- Harry's the best.
- This was so yummy.

You want another bowl of it?

I want to take it home.

Okay.

I know.

Bring it out.

He'll put it in front of her.

We'll sing "Happy Birthday."

- Oh, you ate all of yours.
- I did too.

♪ Happy birthday ♪

all: ♪ To you,
happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
dear Garcelle ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

We can't blow them
out these days.

I'm gonna use
your holder, Kathy.

Make a wish.

I want him hung like a horse.

[all screaming and laughing]

- Whoo!
- It's the truth.

- Whoo!
- Be careful what you wish for.

Okay, I don't even know
where I'd put it.

I did not know that
she liked horseback riding.

But thank you so much.
I want to say I really,

truly appreciate
that you guys are doing this.

Thank you.
Especially you.

'Cause we've known each other
for a long time.

- A long time.
- And I appreciate that.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

In the last year,
Rinna and I

have had a really rocky road
in trying to figure out

if we're gonna have
a friendship,

what that friendship's
gonna look like,

and her making an effort
for my birthday

means something, for sure.

- G.
- Yes.

- A few gifts. This is...
- Oh, come on, you guys.

This is from me.
I don't know who this is from.

Dadgummit,
I didn't bring a present.

They brought presents.

Guys, Garcelle's not here.
I'm having a cake.

We're giving her a cake,

just to acknowledge
her birthday.

But if you want to bring
presents, bring presents.

Yeah.

That's from Crystal,
Kathy, and me.

Yay, happy birthday.

- What's in here?
- Open.

My God, what could this be?

- Oh.
- Something expensive.

- Gorgeous.
- Yeah!

Let me see.
Let me see.

- Wow.
- Wait.

Should I do it like this?

- Yes!
- Yes!

- That is beautiful.
- You guys!

I love that shape.

Crystal, I was
admiring this from you.

It's the three of us,
the three of us.

Oh, did you have this?

She mentioned she liked it,
and it's been stuck in my head.

It's really pretty.

- It's gorgeous.
- Thank you so much.

You're very welcome.

I'm sliding down
for a second.

- One second.
- I did not expect this.

This is really nice.

- Yay, I love a surprise.
- I know.

I love a surprise.

No. No, I leave tomorrow.

It's my last night
with my kids.

- Lisa and Erika.
- That's right.

Ooh.

- Ooh, that's good.
- Oh, it's got a little...

It has a little
sleeve action.

Coming up:

What crazy planet
do you live on?

Not yours.

Ooh.

Ooh, that's good.

Okay.

Who is this from?

That's from me, baby.

- That's from Dorit, I believe.
- Yes.

Why do you want to go home?

- My puppy's coming.
- No, it's not the puppy.

Tell me the truth.
What happened that I missed?

Nothing happened.

Why don't you tell me
the truth? We're friends.

I have a very difficult time
being fake.

It's hard to sit
across the table from somebody

who obviously doesn't like me,

who's been talking badly
about me behind my back,

and who's looking at me
quite smugly, to be honest.

I don't want to look
at her face anymore.

- Well, what happened?
- Nothing happened. I'm just...

Well, you're being...
You're saying you don't like

- being fake.
- There is no resolution

in all of this, and I'm...

It's wearing at me.

- You mean with Crystal?
- Yeah.

You still feel weird.

Yeah.

[all speaking at once]

I love mine so much.

- Who will I wear it for?
- Yummy.

Thank you, Dorit.

She's talked about me
behind my back to everybody.

I've tried to say my piece.

She's never apologized to me.

And I'm... like, I've had it.

This is not the Sutton
that I know,

when she's being
extremely emotional,

and quite frankly irrational.

I am not over

being told that
I violated someone.

- I understand that.
- Then I need to go.

- No, you don't need to go.
- Yes.

No. You don't have to be
friends with her,

but you're friends
with all of us.

- She said that I violated her!
- Oh, my God.

Are they having a fight?

I feel like I hear
somebody screaming.

I felt like I heard that too.

Okay, but she also
said to me...

- Just listen for a second.
- Mm-hmm.

She also said to me,
"I did not mean sexually,"

she said,
"But I did feel violated."

She's a ****ing liar.

It was made out like it was,

like, a sexual, weird thing.

Yeah, but that word

never came up from me.

Let's have drinks
for Garcelle's birthday.

Let's do it.
[all speaking at once]

- We got to do shots.
- Let's do shots!

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah!

All: Shots! Shots!
Shots! Shots!

What can I make you,
a margarita?

I want to make sure
you're okay.

I don't need that
as much as I need...

- I am not okay.
- I need you to be okay.

I am so not okay.

Listen to me.

All right,
what are you doing?

- Are you crying?
- No.

- Hey, what's going on?
- I have very bad allergies.

- Oh, my God.
- I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'm fine, I'm fine.
Oh, God.

- Honey, what's wrong?
- Nothing, Jesus Christ.

I swear to God,
I pray to Jesus every day.

You think he'd throw me a bone.

I just need a bone, you know?

Why are you crying?

I'm upset, y'all.

Oh, my God, I think Sutton

is more hormonal than my kids.

And they're teenagers.

I'm very upset, still,

about all the situation,

and all the insinuations.

Sutton, we're done with this.

I know that I need
to move on, and I will.

But it's hard for me
to sit there and pretend

like everything's great
and hunky dory,

when it's not.

Who is "hunky dory"?

Who is "hunky dory"?

Is that a nickname for someone?

- We okay?
- Yes.

- What happened?
- I just had a moment.

Ladies, let's come
and sit down.

Sutton, I want
to make this clear.

- Yeah.
- Because I don't want you

to think that something
has been said...

Okay.

That's it's bigger than
it's not.

Let's sit down here, guys.

Let's clean up
and make it cute.

I am... we have to fix this,

'cause I'm not happy with her.

You said a lot
of things about me.

- Tonight?
- No.

And I can't sit
across the table from you.

- Really?
- And pretend...

Please do not
disrespect my feelings.

Okay, let's not sugarcoat it.

What do you need from Crystal?

I don't need anything
from Crystal.

No, stop it.
You need something from Crystal

- for you to be okay.
- She already did it.

It goes on and on,
when it's not... done.

- Look at her.
- Mm-hmm.

And tell her what you need

to fix this, so we can move on.

I think it's really sh... ty

you have used so many
words about me.

- And so now I'm supposed...
- What are you...

So tell me the words.

You need to let me
say my piece.

Okay.

The word "violate"
is really crazy to me.

What crazy planet
do you live on?

Um, not yours.

[tense music]

[♪ ♪]

We're not gonna get
anywhere from this.

I'm not gonna change
the word that I used.

The word was used correctly.
Period.

You can't unuse it, Crystal.
It's out there.

- I would never.
- I would say it.

- So now, I... and...
- I would say the word again.

What do you need
so we can move on from this?

I think she wants an apology.

- Please.
- No.

Oh, okay.

I feel... okay, wait.

I am sorry that you're upset.

No, you can't be sorry
that I'm upset.

- That's not an apology.
- Oh, sorry, then I don't

- apologize for that word.
- It's not an apology.

I didn't give you
an apology for the word.

The word was used properly.

"I'm sorry
that you're upset"?

- That is not an apology.
- Sorry, I take it back.

Look up the word.

It is an abuse of privacy,

- which is what you...
- She didn't know

you were naked, Crystal.

- No, no, it's not even naked.
- She didn't know

- you were naked.
- Why are you so defensive?

What was going on that
you're so defensive about?

You're upset
because you're jealous.

Period.

[dramatic music]

Uh-uh, I'm out.
I'm out.

[BLEEP] you, Crystal.

That was really ****ing low.
No!

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

- No, is she leaving?
- You can't do that.

- Hold on one second.
- Hang on.

You... it's your house.

You need to get up
and do something.

- I know.
- What did she want me to say?

No, ma'am.

Jealous of what?

Your ugly leather pants?

No, no, no, no, no.
No.

She said ugly leather pants.
Ugly leather pants.

Okay, that's not...

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.

What's happening?
What happened?

What am I jealous of?

Are you ****ing kidding me?
No.

So, wait, wait, wait.
Sutton, come here for a second.

- Sutton, Sutton, don't run.
- [BLEEP].

Next time, on the "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills":

Sue, come here.

[howls]

[dog barks]

- I will not apologize...
- Get your fingers...

- For your actions.
- Out of the air.

You're an inappropriate,
awkward person.

What's being said,
is just, I mean, it's insane.

That lawsuit that says
that my divorce is a sham

so I could hide assets.

People want to believe that.

Every day,
it's something more.

- With Erika.
- Well, you almost go, like,

is it the same person we know?
Like...

I mean, I could have never
predicted this... this [BLEEP].

This is the end.