10x07 - Santa Denise

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on

"The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...

- So I go to Nashville
on Monday.

I work Tuesday, Wednesday.

I can't wait till
I can just be here.

Mama's gotta work.

- You did the l*sbian thing?

- I just made out with a girl.

- Uh, I was with a couple.

- Oh, my God.

- Can we just wait until these
.....ing kids get through?

- Oh, yes, of course.

- All I know is
at the dinner I had,

looking at my kids' table,

and they were much more
mature than us,

there's a .....ing problem.

- Let's just .....ing
break it down.

Everybody here has a .....ing
opinion about everybody

that they're not honest about.

- In her mind,
everyone is fake-a*s b*tches.

- Accusing me of going
to couples' therapy with Teddi,

do you not get
how ridiculous that is?

- No, I don't get
how ridiculous it is.

- [BLEEP] you.
[BLEEP] you, Dorit.

You don't tell me how I feel
and react to things, okay?

[upbeat music]

- Around here,

there's more than just dresses
in everyone's closet.

- The secret to life?

Dance like everyone
is watching.

- I won't settle
for anything less

than everything.

- Life is an audition,

and honey,
I am getting that part.

- You never know
what to expect

when I'm expecting.

- Break a leg?

Not in these heels, honey.

- My life may not
be a fairy tale,

but I'll always get
a happy ending.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Oh, okay, okay.

[gasps]

- No, no, no.
No, no, no.

- [speaking Spanish]

- No.
- No?

- No.

- Okay, okay, okay.

Aye, aye, aye.

- Sí.
- Sí.

[dog barking]

- Thank you, Medin.

[dog barking]

- Hello? You're here so early.
I'm so impressed.

- Well...
- I feel like

I'm barely put together.

Oh, my gosh.
Hi, honey.

Look at that.
- You're beautiful.

- Thank you.
So are you.

- So nice and comfy.

Hi.
- Getting a nice fun ride.

- Beautiful.

- When I first invited
everyone to Santa Barbara,

things were not as tense in
the group as they are lately.

I'm finished
filming the movie.

I'm, like, here.

I want to, like,
hang out with everybody.

There is a gorgeous house
in Santa Barbara.

- That sounds like
a lot of fun.

- What do you like
in your coffee?

- Ideally,
almond milk and Splenda.

- But Santa Barbara
is this beautiful coastal town.

It's a nice place to relax.

I'm gonna sit
in the office for a minute.

- Okay, cool.

- I'm gonna turn
the fireplace on.

The girls
are gonna be coming soon.

I just wanted to say that

the whole thing
about the makeup,

or you thinking Teddi
slept in my bed and whatever,

like, it's all
so stupid and petty.

I really do love you,

and I feel like
we're a friendship

that's gonna last a lifetime.

I mean,
I really don't want to see that

just tossed away over stupid,
petty crap.

- Now Kyle appreciates
our friendship,

but the other night,

Kyle told me
to shut the [BLEEP] up.

This kind of stuff
in a friendship

makes you feel uneasy.

- I cannot go through another
dinner in tears.

I can't, I can't.
- I know.

I don't want to see
anyone in tears.

I don't want to see
you in tears.

I don't like the conversations,
where they're going.

- The couples' therapy thing,

that was scraping
the bottom of the barrel.

- That is the most ridiculous,
asinine thing I've ever heard.

You know I did not go
to couples' therapy.

It's ridiculous.
- I thought back and I said,

"Wait a minute.
Oh, that's right.

They did go
to a therapist together."

- Girls get
their nails done together.

- Okay, but...

- Girls get facials together.

- It's different.

- So just take a moment,

to something
just kind of feel relaxed,

even, like, a baby toe,
is just kind of...

- Nope.
[both laughing]

- If Kyle would just admit
that she's closer to Teddi,

then there would be no issue.

But the more you deny it,

well,
the more annoying it gets.

- Anyway, I'm not gonna keep
going around about it.

- No, I don't want to, either.

- We have fun, our group.
- We do.

- I mean,
think about our trips.

We laugh so hard,
and I'm thinking,

"I really want to go
and have fun this time."

- Well, Kyle,
you are so much fun.

That's the thing.
We laugh incessantly.

I need my fun girl.
- I'm here to have fun.

- Yes.
- You're too important to me.

[upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

- Hey, honey.
Three minutes?

All right, I'll see you
at the bus stop, baby.

I love you.

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

- Hey, good morning.

- Good morning, doll.
How are you?

- I'm good.
How are you?

- Good. I'm on my way to say
good-bye to the boys

at the bus stop
since I'm leaving town.

- Aww.
- Thank God they understand

the crazy life that I lead.

I wanted to see maybe
before I get on the plane,

if we can talk about, you know,
all the stuff that's coming up.

- It's amazing.
- So...

- This time in my life

is the busiest I've ever been.

I'm sh**ting a TV show
in Nashville.

I'm also producing.

I have two movies
in development.

And oh, yeah,
two 12-year-olds.

[laughs]

So let's let
them know this morning.

That would be awesome.

- Yeah.
- I love working.

But every now and then,
I have to leave my kids

a week at a time.

That's the biggest struggle.

Once I land, we can connect
and go over everything.

- Yes.
- All right, babe, love you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Hey, guys!

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hi!

I'm gonna miss you guys.
Aww.

Hi, Dad.
- Good morning.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

How you doing?
- Good.

Okay, so you guys know
that I'm going away, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, to Nashville.

- Nashville, and hopefully
I'm gonna come home

before I go back to Atlanta
for "Coming to America 2."

- All right.
- Okay?

- Yeah.
I'm gonna miss you.

- I'm gonna miss you, too.
- Gonna miss you, too.

- You're just saying that.

[laughter]
- They'll miss you, too.

- I think I've done
a really good job

to make my kids adjusted

so that they're okay
when I leave.

- You're my favorite son.
- I know I am.

- And you're my favorite son.
- What?

[laughter]
This makes no sense.

- So when I've been away
and I show up at school,

and one of the parents
says to me,

"Hey, stranger,"
that really bothers me.

I love you.
- I love you, too.

- I love you, too.

If I wasn't on school property,
I would say, "[BLEEP] you."

Bye, guys.
Have a good day, okay?

- I'll see you after school.
- Aww.

They're getting
so big too fast.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello?

Oh, hi!
Wait, guys!

- Oh, no, oh, oh, oh.
Get inside the house.

- Get inside, please.
- Get inside.

- Jeez, I'm sorry.
- He's the problem child.

- My dogs got into my mom's
pills this morning.

- No.

- I'm like, "Okay, well,
if one of you drops dead,

not my fault."
[dog whines]

I wonder
if I should be one more time.

I think I should.
- No.

- Hello?
- How are you?

- Good. Oh...hi.
- Hi.

- Hi. I just have to go potty
really quick.

- Yeah.
- [laughs]

- Rinna's in there,
but go to the next room.

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

Erika is here.

Hello, Erika Jayne.
- Oh, hi.

Hi. How are you feeling?

- I'm good.

- Hanging in.
- Hanging.

- Hey, hi.
How are you?

- Good. How are you?

- Have my feelings
been hurt by Kyle?

Sure.
Absolutely.

- Why is that weird?
- Because it is...

- Because you don't have
good friends?

- I actually do
have good friends.

And I actually consider you
to be one of them.

I'm not gonna throw away
a friendship

over a bad night.

But there are only so many
.....ing bad nights

I'm gonna tolerate, honey.

- Is that Sutton?

- Welcome. Come on in.

- How are you?
- Hello. I'm good.

- Oh, my God, I'm sorry
to say hi to your bag first.

That's gorgeous.
[laughs]

How are you?
- I'm good, thank you.

- That is so gorgeous.

Does anyone want to use

the ladies' room
before we leave?

- Yes, please.
- I'm gonna do one more time.

- There's one here,
and one in the other room.

[toilets flushing]

We all ready?
- Is that it?

- Garcelle can't come.

- And Denise is coming late,
right?

[upbeat music]

- Denise, your very last line,
I'm gonna put on two.

- Okay.
- Great.

- Well, it seems like
everyone's been there,

like, five times since
I've been on the show.

- Okay, very quiet, guys.
We're rolling.

- Action.

- Do we need to have
a serious talk?

- About what?

- You know what.

About Ridge.

- I have to admit.

I cannot stop
thinking about that kiss.

Maybe that's why his attitude's
softening towards us.

- He is still
married to Brooke.

- I'm not sure how much more
tension that marriage can take.

[dramatic music]

- Terrific. Thank you.

- For the last few months,
I've been working

on "The Bold
and the Beautiful."

My character is vindictive,
selfish, self-involved.

It's much more fun
playing the naughty characters.

- Thank you, Denise.
- Thanks, Denise.

- You're welcome.
Thank you.

Because I have played
sexy characters,

some people have a perception
that it's who I am,

but that's my work.

That has nothing to do
with reality.

[upbeat music]

- Does it need
to be tightened here at all?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Put darts right there.

- You could be
on the red carpet

and smile and look amazing.

- That's really pretty.
- Yeah, I like this.

- It's very showy and fun.

- And then get in the car
and fight

with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

You're such a gentleman.

Thank you.

[laughs]
Move your hand.

You're supposed to be
with your wife.

I forgot what award show
it was with Charlie and I,

but we were
in that g*dd*mn car

fighting our asses off,
we get there,

"Oh, great.
Everything's fine."

- Cat claws.

- [hisses]
- Yes.

- Literally, ten days later,

I filed for divorce.
Everyone would've been,

"We had no idea."
Well, of course, you didn't.

People don't know what
goes on behind closed doors,

but we have to put on
a brave face.

- ♪ Yeah ♪

[upbeat music]

- All right,
that's a wrap, Denise.

- It is?

[applause]
Ahh.

♪ ♪

- I love Santa Barbara.

My dad lived here
when I was a kid,

so my mom
would have to drive halfway

for the drop off
and exchange of the kids.

- How old were you
when they got divorced?

- I think I was, like, five.

My dad was an amazing father.

He did not have me
until he was in his 50s,

and when I would be with him
for the weekend,

he would always take us
to the beach and pack a picnic

and make it
a really special day,

so I have a lot
of very positive memories

of being in Santa Barbara.

It's so, like, mellow here.

I don't like this cliff.
Sorry. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.

You guys,
don't look to the right at all.

- Just close your eyes.
Just close your eyes.

- We need to go very slow,
'cause I have anxiety.

[groans]

- I need to get off now.
- We need Oprah.

- You guys, this is like
right out of a horror film.

- Yeah, thanks, Kyle.

- You're welcome, everybody.

Coming up...

- I think if your 14-year-old
daughter's asking you,

"What is a threesome,"
that is what's gonna jar her.

- They already know if they
haven't had one already.

- Hi, guys.

- Oh!

[upbeat music]

- Oh, look at the house
down there.

- Yeah I think that's it.
- Is that it?

- We are here, everybody.

- Thank you.

- Welcome.
- Hey, how are you?

- Hello, I'm Kate.
- I'm Kyle.

- Hi, Kyle.
- Nice to meet you.

- So nice to meet you.
- You, too.

- Hi.
- Hi. Dorit.

How are you?

- So nice to meet you.

- Thank you for having us.
Oh, you're a hugger.

- Are you a hugger?
- No.

- Is that okay?
- No, it's okay.

No, it's good.
- [laughs]

- Hi. I'm Lisa.
- Hi, I'm Kate.

Lisa, are you a hugger?
- Nice to meet you.

Sure.
- Okay.

[laughter]

Amazing. Well,
welcome to Rancho Estrella.

Come on in.
Let me show you guys around.

[upbeat music]

- Wow.
- Welcome.

- Wow.
- This is gorgeous.

- That is stunning.

- I found this house online,

and I fell in love
with the views.

And look at this view.

You could see the ocean,

the Channel Islands,
the mountains.

I've arranged for a chef
and housekeeping staff

to take care of us.

Plus, it has eight bedrooms.

- If you go
straight up those steps,

we'll go into the master.

- Super cute.

- There's plenty of space

and we are secluded
from everyone.

So if a fight does break out,
nobody will hear it.

What a great little house,
this is.

- Mm-hmm.
Good thinking, Kyle.

- Is that a bug?

[gasps]

Ah.

Ah!

Ah!

- Hm.

- So you could cut
into the house through there,

through this backside.
- Okay.

Okay, got it.

- Oh, you can see Sutton,
where her room is.

- That's cute, Dorit.

- It's a little romper.
- That's really cute.

- Hey, guys, we should go,

but what should
we do about Denise?

Leave her a note?
- Tell her where we are.

Leave the address.

- Okay. Meet us down
by the wharf, Denise.

- Let's hit it.
Let's go.

[upbeat music]

I hope it's cooler down there.

I'm .....ing having a melter.

- Oh, by the way,
I feel like

you're gonna lose weight
in that outfit.

[laughs]

You know how they make you
wear those things in the '70s?

They would put you in...
- Yes!

Is that what you're saying?
Oh, my God.

I'm preparing
for my role on Broadway.

- [laughs]
- Slimming down.

- No,
but they would have those...

- Yeah, girl, I got it.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- Ready to roll!
Are you kidding?

I'm ready to do anything.

- Oh, cute.
This is gonna be fun.

You want to go with me?

- Sure.

- I'm gonna be, like,
flashing everybody.

[laughs]

- Can these crash?
Can you flip these?

- I mean,
I don't want to try.

- Why do I get
the pregnant one?

[both laughing]

- How do we drive this thing?

- I'm very nervous about this.

- My feet don't reach.
What's happening?

- Go, Dorit!

- Oh, gosh.
- Okay.

[overlapping chatter]

- Oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh.
- Oh, sh...

[overlapping chatter]

- Pedal to the metal.
- Pedal to the metal.

- How the heck does Dorit,
who doesn't work out,

get ahead of us?

- Gotta win, Teddi.

- Why must everything be
a contest in this group?

- I think Dorit is winning.
- I think so.

- Beamer wins.
- Are you kidding?

[overlapping chatter]

- [BLEEP].
- Yoga! Down dog!

- Yes!
- Yoga.

- First place!
[all cheering]

- [groans]

- Should we try to pass them?
- Yeah.

[both screaming]

- 'Cause we're not
on the cement.

[both laughing]

- Winners!

- But I do think there's
something wrong with our bike.

I am going to say that.

Hit the brakes, kid.
- [sighs]

- We got the bad one.

- That was hell.

- Let's go take a stroll.
- All right.

- Isn't this pretty?
Wow. Really nice.

- Let's have a glass of wine.
We deserve wine.

- Do you ever virgin wine?

- No.
- [laughs]

- Welcome to
the "Deep Sea Tasting Room."

- Thank you.

- I'm Gillian.
I'm one of the owners.

I have you all set up out here.

- Oh, my gosh.
Is this cute?

- And we have a lovely
charcuterie board for you.

- Oh, thank you.

- So we have you
set up with our

Santa Barbara
signature flight.

If there's anything
you really love

and you want to taste again,
stop me and we'll repeat.

- Okay, thank you.
- Oh, I don't see the bucket.

Where's the bucket?
- No, no pour-out bucket.

- In France,
there was a pour-out bucket.

- No, there was,
but we didn't use it.

[laughter]

- [laughs]
- Okay, ready for the next.

- [laughs]

- So the first one here is
our Deep Sea sauvignon blanc.

Here's a sparkling water.

- Perfect. Thank you.

- So this is good.
- Mm.

- It's fruity.
- It's, like, crisp.

- What a crispy...
[both laughing]

- Our chardonnay,
it's really light,

like a kiss on the cheek.

- Ooh, blimey!
[laughs]

- No rush.
Wine tasting, not wine racing.

- There is something right
in that water right there,

but I don't know what it is.

- Oh!
- He's doing tricks for us.

- He's cute.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, is it a seal?

- No, that's a dolphin.

- You guys have some good eyes.

- Yeah, I just knew there was
a disturbance in the water.

- Denise, we're over here!

[laughter]

Do I need to say
something to Denise

about what we talked about
the other night?

Denise and I have had some
tense moments recently.

And even you, Denise,
who were, like,

no makeup last year,
and you're, like,

all of a sudden glam,
and having, like,

a diamond ice sculpture
at your house.

- Who gives a sh... if I have
a g*dd*mn ice sculpture?

- I don't know
if I should say something

or just let it go now.

Is she upset,
or is she okay?

I don't know.
- I saw her.

We met for coffee,
and she said that

she had to explain to the kids

what all the sex talk
was about.

- I went to lunch
yesterday with Sami.

She mentioned "threesome."

- Well, I apologize.

You know, 'cause, I have, like,
the nastiest mouth ever.

- I don't have
the cleanest mouth, either.

- Oh,
she told me about that, too.

- I would at least be
aware of your children

if I'm at your home.

- Well, then it must
bother her a little bit

if she's mentioned it
a couple of times.

- I mean, we've had multiple
conversations with her

about these types of topics,

so it's an adult dinner
or it's a kid dinner...

- You guys, don't we normally
talk like that?

- Well,
going to Denise is an errand.

I mean,
we're not going to church.

- She took her husband
to get a happy ending.

She can't be offended.

[dramatic music]

- They had a hooker
at Thanksgiving.

- I understand that Denise
would be embarrassed

having to explain
what a threesome is

to her teenage daughter.

I think if your 14-year-old
daughter is asking you,

"Mom, what is a threesome,"

or, "Why were you guys
talking about that,"

that is what's gonna jar her.

- They already know if they
haven't had one already.

- Oh!

- [shouts]
- Oh, my God.

- Erika.
- Never.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, guys.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- What's it like
to sh**t at three-way?

- Are we talking
about threesomes?

Thank God there
are no children present.

[upbeat music]

- We've had multiple
conversations with her

about these types of topics,

so it's an adult dinner
or it's a kid dinner...

- Don't we normally
talk like that?

I think if your 14-year-old
daughter is asking you,

"Mom, what is a threesome,"

or, "Why were you guys
talking about that,"

that is what's gonna jar her.

- They already know if they
haven't had one already.

- Oh!

- [shouts]
- Oh, my God.

- Erika.
- Never.

[dramatic music]

- Her daughter
probably thought,

"Wow, those lame old bags
talking about threesomes."

[laughter]

"'Cause you know
they're not having them."

[laughter]

- Hi, guys.
How's it going?

- I love you walking in
with the tequila.

[laughs]
- Hi, hon, sit right here.

We've been c*ck
for a few hours now.

- Yeah, it seems like it.
[laughs]

- Yeah, exactly.
You're not wrong.

[laughs]

- You guys are slightly
three sheets to the wind,

but that's good.

- [British accent]
I don't like your attitude.

[laughter]
- That, too.

There hasn't been dinner,
is it?

- Garcelle is missing some fun.

- Should I call her?

[line trilling]

Hi, Garcelle!

[shouting]

- We're having fun!

- Aww.
- We're having fun.

- We want you here.
- You're beautiful.

- Cheers, Garcelle.
- We miss you.

[overlapping chatter]

[all screaming]

[laughter]
[overlapping chatter]

- Boys just jumped
off .....ing balcony!

[laughs]

Okay, bye, Garcelle.
Love you!

- Bye.
- Bye, Garcelle.

- Bye!
- Bye!

- Bye.
- What are we doing girls?

She would head back
to the house?

- Let's go back to the crib.

- There more wine there?

- I think we've...

pretty soon, we'll be
wearing out our welcome here.

[dramatic music]

We're not a very quiet group.

- Where's tequila-drinking
Denise?

- He has a very big p*nis.

- Oh, my God.

- I would like
to offer you a drink,

but I don't think I can.

- [laughs]

Let's blow
this popsicle stand.

- This is a boring Denise.

[snores]

- Bye, thank you.

- Bye.
I hope we weren't too annoying.

[laughter]

- [vocalizing]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Big boy rings,
big boy rings ♪

♪ Big boy things,
big boy things ♪

- Oh, my God.

Look at this view.
Holy...

[gasps]
You guys, look at this.

♪ ♪

This is why you love
Southern California.

- But I have to pee.

- Unbelievable.

You guys, get up here.
We can't miss this.

It's magical.

You guys, come on.
This is amazing.

Why does nobody want to look
at this view with me?

- [munches loudly]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you.

- Oh, gosh, I should've
helped you make that.

- I just don't like
a lot of juice.

- [groans]
I've been up since 4:00.

We gotta hurry
before I go to bed.

- Almost ready.

- Aaron has to ask me,
"Are you out-the-door ready?"

- Oh!
- There's a difference.

- Girl, I decided to wear
a trash bag in a heatwave.

The [BLEEP] is this?

- [laughs]

- I'm gonna die right now.
Come on.

- We're having fun.
- We're having fun!

- Hello!
- Hello.

- Look at this
in her trash bag.

- More weight-loss suits.

- It really is.

- Oh, my God,
these are so on trend, Rinna,

these square-toed shoes.

- My toes are like sausages,
though, from the wine.

[laughs]

Otherwise, they're cute.

- Okay, I'm ready, honey.

- Are you out-the-door ready,
Dorit?

- I'm out the door, ready.
- All right, let's go.

- I'm ready, ready, ready,
out-the-door ready.

Let's do it.

- Oh, my gosh.
This is so nice.

Oh, sh...
[laughs]

- It's kind of cool down here.
I love it.

- Want to sit right here?

- I'm feeling this is good.

- This is nice that we don't
have to drive anywhere.

- Isn't it kind of nice?
- Yeah, I like it.

- Are these
pumpkin spice candles?

- They are
pumpkin spice candles!

- Oh, my God,
how white of us.

[laughter]

- Hi, I'm Chef Robin.
- I'm Erika.

Nice to meet you, Chef.
- Nice to meet you.

All the vegetables are organic
from Santa Barbara,

garbanzo beans
that are a little bit fried,

and then some microgreens.

- Thank you.
- That's lovely.

- I love the microgreens.

- Thank you.

- This is yummy.

- Very.

- You're still doing "Bold."
- Yeah.

- And how is that going?

- I was there today,
got there early,

did two episodes.

- Who's your character?
What's she all about?

- Well, she's from Vegas.

She's wild,
and she's getting involved

with someone is married,
but getting divorced.

- What is the one role

that you look back on,
you think,

"Oh, my God,
that was incredible"?

- "Starship Troopers"
was my big break.

And then I got "Wild Things"

four months
before that move came out.

- What's it like to sh**t
a three-way?

[dramatic music]

- Are we talking
about threesomes?

Thank God
there are no children present.

Tender ears.

- Coming up...

- When it's an adult party
like that,

just don't invite the kids.

- You know what?
It's my home.

- What's it like

- What's it like
to sh**t a three-way?

[dramatic music]

- It's uncomfortable.

- Is it?
It must be.

- How many takes?

- We did a lot.
It's weird.

- It's uncomfortable...
- But you have to just commit.

- The roasted cauliflower
has sesame.

Kale pesto
with a little pistachio.

Eggplant and tomatoes.
Enjoy that.

- I will say this,

when it was just her and I,
it was easier

because you just feel like
you'll protect each other,

and you know different things
you don't want,

you know,
with that kind of thing.

But the other part of it that
wasn't easier with that scene

was knowing that, you know,
people on the crew were,

"Oh, two girls are kissing."

- What'd your dad think?

- [groans]

Well, my dad called me
and my mom...

I told my mom the part...
'cause I didn't want my dad

obviously seeing me
in that situation,

so I told my mom
those were coming up.

So she had him
leave the theater,

and she left with him, too.

When I did "Wild Things,"

that was a tough
decision for me,

because I was raised
in a very conservative family

and went to church every week.

I was raised Catholic.
I was a good Catholic girl.

He wouldn't want to see
his daughter that way anyway.

- No, he wouldn't.
- You know?

And my mom was the one

that actually said,

"If you feel this is something
that you want to do

"for your career,

then you just do it."

- Did you know
when you booked the job

you were gonna have to do it?

- Yeah. The language
going back and forth

to our agents and managers
of how many...

what nipple, what price...
- Really?

- Yes.
- Is that what happened?

- Yeah.
- Only one nipple's approved?

- It was, actually,
but it went to two.

- So let me ask you a question.

How will you feel
when your girls see it?

- Well, I hope
to God they don't see it.

- They probably
have already seen it.

- They haven't seen it.
- They haven't?

- No.

- Come on, it's a movie.

You know your kids
are gonna watch it.

My kids
have watched everything.

They know.

- It would be weird
if I had seen my mom

do something like that.

- No way.
- They'll see it.

- You think so?
- I know they will.

Maybe Denise
is naive in the fact

that she doesn't think
her 15-year-old

knows exactly what's going on.

- I don't want them
to have that visual.

I didn't think back then,

"Sh..., wonder one day what
my kids we're gonna think."

I really would've changed
a lot if I did.

- You really
don't think of that.

- Well, listen,
you were living in the moment.

Jesus.

- Yeah, you would never
think about that.

- I don't know.
I look at it a bit differently,

though I respect exactly
where you're coming from.

I do, but we were in Tokyo
and my book came up

and the girls
had dropped the b*mb

that they read that book
when they were 11.

- Like, your sex book literally
teaches you how to give head.

- Oh, my God.

- [sighs]
- Very precisely.

- You know, in the moment,
I was like, "Oh, my God."

But I was like,
"You know what?

Hey, I taught them
how do it right."

I gave them...

- I didn't think
you were going there.

- I did.
- [laughs]

- I'm sorry.
Think about it.

If they're gonna get
information,

they might as well
get good information.

It's just sex,
for God sake.

Yeah,
it's horrifying to think about

your daughters
giving a blowjob.

[laughs]

I mean, do you want to think
of your daughters

giving a blowjob?
No!

But, hi,
welcome to the real world.

- Thank you so much.

- Denise,
I wanted to tell you I'm sorry

about the other night.

It started with Dorit and me,

and then it became, like,
a whole big thing,

and it kind of, like, grew.

And I really felt bad.

- Yeah, no, I was...

I was really taken aback.

I did not know
where it was coming from.

- Well, I think
it was between Dorit and me,

and then everyone started,
like, chiming in, and, like...

[gasps]
And then I got...

I got defensive...

- Well,
we're a very opinionated group,

and we do
chime in when one of us...

you know, feeling like
she was being annihilated

for showing up later,

and because she was glammed...
like who...

do we really care who shows up
with hair and makeup?

- I appreciate
when all of you guys

look beautiful and all that,

but it was just
a circumstantial thing.

And that's how I felt,

and I didn't want it to become
a thing and I'm sorry.

- And I just also want to say,
as far as the ice sculpture,

that's something
Eloise picked out.

She picked out a shape,
and, you know,

it was something
we wanted to do for her.

It's big.

I think we'll have a party,
don't you think?

This is a nice touch
with our pizza party.

You always have
to have a little sparkle,

even if it's casual.

- The kid thing,
I'm like, I didn't...

- But that's the truth.
- I obviously...

I wouldn't know any of that,
you know?

- But that's the thing
where I get back to is

we don't know what goes on
behind closed doors

and what goes on in all
of our lives all the time.

There's things
that we all do share,

and things that we don't.

And it's...a lot of sometimes
isn't even any of our business.

And I felt like it was such
a judgmental thing to say.

You know,
I had you all over at my house,

and I had my kids there
and their friends.

And honestly, I've never talked
about a threesome

with my child before.

I'm not a prude,
but that doesn't mean

I want my kids
or their friends

hearing adult
conversations at our home.

I would not want to hear
my mother and her friends

talking about threesomes.

It's so surprising that
these women are not getting it.

- Maybe, like, when it's
an adult party like that,

just don't invite the kids.

- You know what?
It's my home.

- Yeah, no, right.
That's true.

- So I honestly thought...

- It would be okay.
- Could all have

a wonderful night.

- Yeah.
- I just think

it's a little naive.

I mean, yes,
it was disrespectful,

but I don't think it's anything
that they haven't heard.

- Of course, it's nothing
they haven't heard.

I just didn't want
them to hear it

from their mom
and mom's friends.

All I kept saying was just...
can we just keep it down

with the kids right there?

I will be mindful of them

being in earshot
with all of us.

That's all.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Coming up...
- My issue is not with you.

It's an observation
of your friendship.

- Have your issues with me.

Don't have your issues
with me and Kyle.

[upbeat music]

- I just think
it's a little naive.

Yes, it was disrespectful,

but I don't think it's anything
that they haven't heard.

- Of course, it's nothing
they haven't heard.

I just didn't want
them to hear it

from their mom
and mom's friends.

I will be mindful of them

being in earshot
with all of us.

That's all.

- [laughs]

- Honestly,
it takes a lot to offend me.

I wasn't even
gonna say anything

until Sami
said something to me,

and I was like, "Oh, sh..."
You know?

It...it affected her.

So I just told her,
"I apologize

"that you heard that,
and I hope that your friends

don't go home and say anything
to their parents."

- What'd she say?

- I don't want to get
into this anymore.

[dramatic music]

It's not that big of a deal.

We're done.

The worst kind
of judgmental people

are the ones that pretend
they're not judgmental.

- I don't want to talk
about my kids right now.

- Like, they're so cool
and laid back.

I'm not judging,
but actually I'm judging

your every move
and figuring out

how to judge you
from a casual way.

- I would apologize,
but I did nothing wrong.

- [laughs]

- It's not a big deal.

- Okay.

Can we go to sleep now?

- Yeah, I'm tired, too.

Let's go to bed.
- Let's go.

- Oh, it's almost 10:00.
My God, it is my bedtime.

- Goodnight, girls.
We'll see you in the morning.

- Goodnight, Denise.
- I'll see you in the morning.

- Goodnight, guys.

- Goodnight, Sutton.

- Goodnight, Sutton.

- Goodnight. Sleep well.
See you in the a.m.

- Everyone's going to bed.
So boring.

Why is everyone so boring?
Why can't people have fun?

You guys are all boring.

- [sighs]

- I mean...by the way,
obviously I'm a mom.

I totally get that.

I would never want to have
those conversations.

- But the point is, like,
she said she didn't care,

but she brought it up
multiple times,

so you do care.

- It's on your mind.
You want it out there.

- Yeah, you want it out there.

You want to make
the other people feel bad.

That's why you keep telling it.

- Rinna and Erika
were clearly offended by that.

- I know.

- I think they're feeling
judged by her,

and they're feeling like,

"Oh, you're making us look
like assholes

by saying we talked about this,
but you're a hypocrite."

But no,
no one wants to say that,

so guess what?

That's what makes me
say the F-A-B.

- Just saying.

I'm gonna get
a new group of friends.

[both laughing]

Who would want to sleep
with any of you anyway?

[both laughing]

No wonder I sleep with Teddi.

Come on, honey.
Let's go to bed.

I'll let you control
the thermostat.

I'm generous like that.

[upbeat music]

- Good morning, sunshine.

- There we go.

- Anyone figured out
the coffee machine?

- Well...

yes, but I think I might've put
a lot of coffee in.

- That's okay.
- Like, really strong.

I didn't really measure it
other than just pour it in.

- [laughs]

- It's really strong, you guys.

- Oh, we drink
strong coffee at home.

- I hope so,
'cause this is really strong.

- Whoa.

- Look at your belly.

- Whoa.
I don't know that I can...

Well, Rinna,
this is gonna work.

This is gonna do the trick.

- Is it really super strong?

- It's like...I don't think you
should drink any more of that.

- They should be thankful
I even made the .....ing coffee.

I don't even do this at home.

- I'm gonna go.

- Bye.
- Bye, Teddi.

- It is a little strong.

- ♪ We gonna live forever ♪

♪ Forever ♪

♪ The afterlife ♪

♪ ♪

- Are we eating?

- This looks yummy.

Very nice spread.
- Very fancy.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

- Should we sit down?

Oh, my God,
this is really good.

- [hums]

- Mm.

- Did you guys sleep?

- Not particularly.
[laughs]

- Did you sleep, Kyle?

- Mm-mm.
- Me, too.

- I thought yesterday
was really fun.

It just can get very intense.

And so when I go to bed,

it's like...I'm tense still.

Because it felt like
nothing was really resolved,

and then that's a hard way
to go to bed.

That's what I mean.
- Yes.

- It's a tough group.

They're all
really big personalities.

Strong, opinionated,
but I don't want us to yell.

I don't want to fight anymore.

I just want to enjoy
each other's company.

- It has been
a lot of big emotion.

It feels like it's bubbling
under the surface.

You started it with,
"You guys are being fake.

No one's saying
how they really feel."

If anyone has a problem
with anybody right now,

let's quit pussyfooting around,

and, like, .....ing get it out.

- The one thing,
and this really hurt me, Kyle,

you said you're not
as good of friends

with Erika
as you think you are.

- My opinion, she's not close
with you at all,

so it makes no sense.

- In your opinion,
she's not close to me at all?

- No.

- That's a really strong
and hurtful thing to say.

- In that moment,
I was upset,

because all of a sudden,

I felt like everyone
was coming at me.

And all of a sudden,
I felt like,

oh, they're all this, like,

banning together,
best friend situation...

- But I don't have any friends.

Remember that's what
you told me?

"That's why
you don't have any friends."

- That was...
it just really hurtful.

- Well, I mean, obviously,
when you're upset,

you say things...

- We've all
said things that we...

- We've all...
[overlapping chatter]

What?
- What made you

say that to her?

- Um...
- The reason was

I brought up yours and Teddi's
breathing session...

- Yeah, and then everyone said

that I went to .....ing
couples' therapy.

- No, I have to say this
because here's what.

This is where
you got very angry with me.

And you started to cry
and you said,

"Listen,
I can't believe, Erika,

"that you are making fun
of my anxiety

'cause you know
how hard I've struggled."

- I talked to you
about my anxiety,

and that's .....ed up

to act like
you think it's weird

and make it, like,
it's a weird .....ing thing.

And I don't think it's cool
because you've talked to me.

- I do have anxiety.

That is not what I was saying.

I was making that point
to go to Dorit's point

of a package deal.
That's all I was saying.

- But you...that wasn't...
- Hold on.

I'm gonna finish.
- It wasn't nice.

- No, it wasn't,

and neither was
turning around and saying,

"Well,
you don't have any friends."

- Well, that's because everyone
was .....ing coming at me.

- Hold...I'm not coming at you.
I'm being honest.

- No, I'm saying that night,
that's what...

- I was being honest about why
I agree with the package deal.

It's all part of it.

That is what I was saying
in that moment.

- And my point
was that you two are close.

- But when you bring me
into the conversation,

you consistently shade me.

And I want you to know that.

I don't know if it's...
there's something

between you and Kyle
that you need to work out.

But I don't need to be shaded
in a friendship situation

when it really
doesn't involve me.

It's something you guys
need to work through.

[dramatic music]

Unless you just
really dislike me

and want to keep
putting me down.

- I don't need to be shaded

- I don't need to be shaded
in a friendship situation

when it really
doesn't involve me.

It's something you guys
need to work through.

Unless you just
really dislike me

and want to keep
putting me down.

- My issues is not with you.

It's an observation
of your friendship.

- Right, but those observations

are meant
to try to make me look bad.

- No, they're not, Teddi.

- "You're not fun
when you're with Teddi."

- All you and I do
is have fun and laugh.

- I know.
- So for you to act like...

- I know you have more fun
with me than you do with her.

That, I know.

One comment I made.

- But you're always using
the same one with me.

- Teddi.
- Have your issues with me.

Don't have your issues
with me and Kyle.

- How can I keep
Teddi's name out of it

when she inserts herself

into my things all the time?

- Anyway, I'm sorry
if I ever hurt your feelings

by making you feel,
you know, less important.

- I'm never gonna be
Kyle's favorite.

But you know what?
I think Kyle does appreciate

the honesty in our friendship.

Like I said,
you have a different friendship

with each person,
and I certainly hope that

you don't feel hurt by that.

- Okay. Thank you.

- Well, um...

anyone else have anything
they feel like sharing?

- I don't feel comfortable
about this conversation

that went down last night.

I feel like you shut us down,
a little bit, Denise,

with all due respect,
by saying,

"We're not gonna talk
about the kids."

- We had talked
and talked and talked.

There was nothing else
I could say about the issue...

- But it just...
it ends the night in a...

- Well,
the last few dinners have...

someone's left
crying or something...

- When it gets too heated...
- Yeah.

- Nobody's listening
to the other person.

And it's heated
and it's just emotional

and nothing is solved.

- I wasn't angry.

It was just because
my daughter brought it up.

And now I know that,
moving forward,

they won't be within earshot
of this group.

[dramatic music]

- I know Sami.

It's hard for me to imagine

that Sami went to her
and was like,

"I'm really concerned this."
Like...

I feel like
you're using the kids

to make us somehow feel bad.

Like, if I put myself
in that position

and one of my kids
came up at that age and said,

"Hey, you know,
we overheard you guys

talking about threesomes."

I think the kids
would've giggled.

I would've giggled,
and that would've been that.

- You, of all people, know
I'm not a judgmental person.

I can take a lot.

- It felt
a little judgy for us.

[dramatic music]

- I am not judging
any one of you,

and I'm not upset or mad
at anyone about it.

- You were concerned enough
to bring it up to three people.

- Well...

- With all due respect,
you're being contradictory,

because of the way...

you're open about sex
as much as I am.

- But I don't talk to my kids
about a happy ending

or my husband's p*nis.

- Yeah, but you picture of him
on Instagram.

- And I took it down

'cause my daughter
was uncomfortable.

- The point is she posted it

because that is who she is.

- You can't talk about the size
of your husband's p*nis

and getting a happy ending,

and then we're the bad moms.

- Aaron had never
had a happy ending,

and we were on the hunt.

- He wanted one?
- No, I wanted him to have one.

- Have you had
a happy ending massage?

- Yeah.
- [gasps]

- I didn't say you were a bad...

- But it infers that.

- I think it's a little
convoluted for us.

You have to .....ing own it

is really
what I'm trying to say, Denise.

'Cause you can't be
a hypocrite about it.

- I'm not trying
to be a hypocrite here.

Yes, I put something
on Instagram.

That's stuff
that I tell privately

with a group of girlfriends
and we're having fun.

I'm not thinking, "Oh, my kids
are gonna see this."

- Do you talk about the hookers
around your kids,

about the hookers
that Charlie brings around?

'Cause you've been
quite free with us.

Privately. I've had private
conversations with them.

- Okay.

- Wow.

This is my friend of 20 years?

She knows I've protected
these kids all these years.

I don't know
she's trying to embarrass me

or humiliate me.
I don't know.

I don't know
what her agenda is,

but whatever it is,
it's .....ing hurtful.

Really hurtful.

- Just in the grand
scheme of things

that they could've come to you
with throughout their life,

you know, there are gonna be
things that come up.

- Erika, my God,
there has been lots of things.

- I'm sure.

- But is that
a free pass, then,

that you can say anything
because in the grand

scheme of things, my kids,
what they've been exposed to?

- To me, what we did
is very low on the totem pole.

- Everyone can have
their opinion.

It's fine.

- You're living in denial,
Denise.

That's my opinion.

- I think there's
hurt feelings, you know?

There's hurt feelings here,

and that's what happens,
you know?

Sitting here addressing it,
that's always a good thing.

So do we feel better?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Fan.....-ing-tastic.

[laughter]

- Next time

on "The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...

- This year's honoree,
Garcelle Beauvais.

- I want to say thank you

to my new best friends.

Some of them,
not so much.

[laughter]

- The women
really got into a fit.

Sami overhead
talking about threesomes.

It's turned into Lisa Rinna
calling me a hypocrite.

- That pisses me
the [BLEEP] off.

- I'd love to throw a party.

- I think it's really cute
what you're doing for the kids.

- Oh, my gosh.
It looks so good.

- Where are the kids?

- Two are on a sleepover.
One's on a playdate.

- You're no longer comfortable

bring your kids
in our presence?

- You are
a sh.......-ing-stirrer.

- Let this .....ing go.
It's ridiculous.

[BLEEP].

- Oh, please.
- You need to calm down.

- I'm done.
We're leaving.

You guys are crossing
the .....ing line.

I'm leaving.
Let's go.

- [BLEEP] it.

- I don't need to .....ing
deal with this sh...

- Denise.
- Baby, don't say a word.

Don't say a .....ing word.

- To learn more
about the housewives,