04x09 - The Bike Ride

[bunniefuu]

[ Up tempo music plays ]

Everyone stand up and scream!

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Guys!
Good news!

Llleehhhhh.

Whoa!
Spandex o rama.

[ Laughs ]
yeah.

Oh, susanna!

This is gonna knock
your socks off,

Especially yours,
pizza steve.

[ Sloop! ]

What is it, uncle grandpa?
What is it?
[ Roars ]

Hmmm,
I'm skeptical.

Check it out!

We're going...

On a bike ride

At the beach!

Bright sun,
cool ocean breezes,

Sweet waves, and bikinis!

Oh, yeah,
sons and daughters.

[ Engine revs ]
pizza steve is gonna tear
that beach boardwalk up

In his awesome speedcycle.

I'm going full john hancock
on this one!

Pizza steve is gonna own
that beach, y'all.

No dice, little slice.

No motorized vehicles
allowed.

[ Screech! ]

Only two wheeled pedal bikes,
pizza steve.

[ Gulps,
laughs nervously ]

Well, yeah.
Of course.

i knew that.
Yep.

No motorized vehicles
allowed.

And I am very comfortable
with that.

Honestly,
this third wheel was becoming

A bit of a fifth wheel
anyway. [Chuckles]

Oh, man, uncle grandpa,
this sounds amazing.

Finally, an opportunity
to show off my beach bod.

I know!

You guys have been
working hard lately,

So in exactly 10 minutes...
[ Ding! ]

We're gonna pedal away
from all our troubles.


Uh, yeah, uncle g.

Pizza steve: [ thinking ]
what am I gonna do?

[ Breathing heavily ]

If they find out the truth,
it's over!

The mask falls away.

The ridiculous charade ends.

The horror.

The horror!

My secret shame...

Hidden all these years.

Behold  
training wheels!

If they find out I can't ride
a bike with two wheels,

I'm finished!

I'm a total weenie!

[ Bang! Bang! Bang! ]
Uncle grandpa:
pizza steve!

Till bike time!

[ Bang! Bang! Bang! ]
[ Gasps ]

[ Bang! Bang! Bang! ]
It's gonna be so awesome!

I can't wait!

Oh, yeah!
Pizza steve can't wait either!

[ Laughs nervously ]
ohh.

The clock is ticking!

[ Zip! ]

No more mr. Soft slice.

Let's see if you have
what it takes.

Ride or cry, baby.

Ride or cry.

[ Breathing heavily ]

No turning back now.

[ Wibble! Wibble! Wibble! ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Wait, maybe I can do this.

[ Rock music plays ]
hey, y'all!

Get a load of these skills!

Who needs hands
when you have style?

Hey, guys, this pizza guy is
riding with no hands!

All: ooh!

Holy smokes, that guy really
knows how to ride a bike.

All: ahh!

Check out pizza steve

And his amazing
bike riding prowess!

All: ooh!

Ooh!

Aah!

Oh, yeah!

Wha  
[ wibble! Wibble! ]

Whoa!
[ Screech! Screech! ]

Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Oof! Aah! Ohh!

[ Laughter ]

Oh, no.
This is horrible.

What will happen if the entire
beach community finds out

Pizza steve can't hold his own
on a two wheeler?

I can't let this happen.

[ Bang! Bang! Bang! ]
Uncle grandpa:
pizza steve! Huh?

And 27 seconds left!

I can't wait
till you impress me

With your awesomeness
on the beach boardwalk!

It's gonna be amazing!

[ Sighs ]

Oh, yeah, uh, totally.

Pizza steve won't let you down.
[ Chuckles nervously ]

Oh, gosh.
Oh, gosh.

Pizza steven, is this
your day of reckoning?

Will the world finally,
once and for all, find out

The truth about you  
that you're a complete fraud?

Oh, the horror!

And soon my life will be
destroyed thanks to that bike.

[ Thinking ] and what
will my friends think?

[ Laughter ]

Aah!

[ Panting ]

[ Singsong voice ]
hey, pizza steve.

Let's see you ride
this bad boy!

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!

[ Ding! Ding! ]
What's wrong,
little cheese?

Does pizza stevie miss
his widdle boy twicycle?

No!
Please, no!

[ Roars ]

What's wrong?

I thought you knew
how to ride a two wheeler.
[ Laughs ]

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Oh, gosh!
Oh, gosh!

It's all over for me!

[ Thinking ] there's no escape!
All because of that stupid bike!

[ Ding! ]
Wait! That's it!

The bike!

Can't go on a bike ride
without a bike!

Yes, pizza steve.

It's time
to eliminate the enemy.

[ Laughs maniacally ]

Pizza steve said
he'll be out in a minute.

Then we'll head out.
Cool.

[ Growls ]
did somebody say
"pizza steve"?

Whoo hoo!

Pizza steve!
Just in time!

Are you ready
to have an awesome bike ride?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

Slow down there,
uncle g.

Pizza steve will not be able
to join you guys

On the bike ride.

Turns out somebody broke
into my room

And busted up
my only set of two wheels.

Huh?
Yeah, so, no bike,
no bike ride.

Sorry, bros.

But, little slice,
we aren't using

Our own bikes
for this bike ride.

Huh?

We're renting
from mikey's bike rental,

The best place to rent a bike
on the beach.

So pick out a good one,
pizza steve.

[ Gasps ]

Wait a second, bros.

I have something
I want to tell you.

What is it,
pizza steve?

Well, I  
well, it's just that  

Well, you see, i...
Actually don't  

The bike don't  
the bike   my bike  

I don't want to...

Oh, I understand completely,
pizza steve.

Y you do?

Yes.

You're just so excited
to go on this bike ride

That it brought you
to tears.

Huh?

There, there, now,
little buddy.

Don't you worry.

You'll feel better once you're
behind those handlebars

Pedaling in joy.

Uncle grandpa: come on.
Let's not waste any more time.

Pizza steve:
[ muffled whimpering ]

[ Rock music plays ]

Man, guys, is this

The most stupendously
spectacular bike ride or what?

[ Roars ]

Nothing like it, uncle grandpa.

Oh, yeah.

Pizza steve sure knows
how to ride in style.

[ Laughs ]

Make way
for the best bike rider

This side
of the pacific  

None other
than pizza steve!

[ Wibble! Wibble! Wibble! ]

I never learned to math!

[ Sobbing ]

It was a dark and humid night
with a wind gust of 7%.

And there I was
all by myself...

enjoying a quaint
nighttime read on the couch.

i was on the f's
when, all of a sudden,

i heard
a very unsettling noise...

[ Wheezing ]

a painfully slow wheeze.

i said to myself it
was probably nothing
and shrugged it off.

It was probably nothing.
I'll just shrug it off.

[ Wheezing continues ]

then, I heard it again.
i checked behind the couch.

Guys?
but no one was there.

[ Wheezing continues ]
then, I heard it again

right behind me   the tv!

but it was off.

in fact, unplugged.

at this moment,
i was getting a little scared.

[ Wheezing continues ]

then, it started up again!

i sprinted
across the living room

and took refuge
in the telephone booth.

[ Panting ]

[ Telephone rings ]
just then, the phone rang.

G g g good morning?

[ Wheezing continues ]
the breathing was back,

and worse yet
the phone was disconnected!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

[ Zip! ]

i burst into the elevator,
jamming the buttons.

Come on, come on,
come on, come on!

i waited for what seemed
like an eternity

as the elevator made
its slow descent.

[ Ding!
Electricity crackling ]
surely, the ownerof this horrible wheeze was not

In the elevator with me.

[ Wheezing continues ]
but the breathing was
even louder than before!

Aaaaaaah!

i clawed open the elevator

and made my mad dash
down the hall,

leaping into the bedroom!
[ screech! ]

i barricaded the door
with whatever I could find.

then, I did
what anyone else would do

in this situation  
i stuffed pillows in my ears.

[ Sighs ]

at last, I no longer could hear
the heavy breathing,

as the pillows had impaired
my hearing.

And to this day, I wonder if
the heavy breather still exists.

W what do you mean?

Y y you never heard
his breath again?

Well, I can't really hear
that well

Since I have
these pillows in my ears,

But maybe with them removed...

[ Wheezing continues ]

Uh, guys, am I the only one
that hears that?

Aaaaah! Aaaaah!
[ Roars ]
aaaaah!

[ Zip! ]

[ All whimpering ]

[ Wheezing continues ]

Uncle g,
I still hear it!

M maybe he's
right outside!

Or maybe...

[ Gasping ]

[ Inhaler hisses ]

Ahh.
Much better.

[ Up tempo music plays ]

That was
quite delicious.