04x07 - Uncle Grandpa Runs for President

[bunniefuu]

Back so soon?

♪♪

No, hot!
No, cold!

No, hot!
No, cold!

Hotter!
No one likes cold pizza!

Cold is better!
Hot's worse than cold.

85 degrees?
Aah!

[ All shouting ]

Will you guys
cut it out?!

Every week we are arguing
over something.

Today, it's the temperature
in the RV.

Friday, it was who left
the toilet seat down.

And we spent
the whole month of July

in the middle of the street

arguing about
how to change the flat tires,

which is why we got ourselves
towed to this junkyard!

I believe that
if we put aside our differences,

we can all get along

and live in harmony
under this RV roof.

We need someone to inspire us,

someone to guide us
into a brighter future.

What we need is a...

President!
Dictator!

That's right,
Uncle Grandpa.

A president
is what we need.

With a leader of the RV,

we can find someone who will
represent all our beliefs.

In a traditional democracy,
you run as a candidate,

campaign on
a platform of ideals,

and whoever
gets the most votes

at the end of the week
wins!

That's right, Belly Bag,

and now we just have to find
our set of candidates.

[ Chuckles ]

I personally
just don't think

I'm cut out for leadership,
you know.

But I'm sure any of you
would be a worthy candidate.

Uh, I don't really like
politics.

[ Cries ]

[ Growls ]

I believe
I'm overqualified.

Hmm. Well,
I guess that just leaves,

Uncle Grandpa
and Pizza Steve.

Huh?

Uhh...
Where'd they go?

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Good morning!

[ "Reveille" plays ]

[ Bike horn honks ]

Vote for me! U. G.!

[ Blink! Blink! ]

Man: Ladies and gentlemen,

presenting the next
president of the RV!

Pizza Steve!

Y'all ready to vote
for Pizza Steve?!

♪ Believe in Steve ♪

♪ Believe in Steve ♪

♪ He gives you things
that you want to receive ♪

♪ Vote, vote,
vote for Pizza Steve ♪

♪ Who even cares
about that loser Uncle G ♪

[ Guitar solo ]

[ Grunting ]

I thank you! Thank you!

Vote for Pizza Steve!

Wow! Amazing!
That was super cool!

Hi, I'm man lamp,
Crispin Mulcahy,

and welcome to "R. V. Election,"

where we cover
all the election news.

Four minutes ago,

Uncle Grandpa
failed to win over the crowd

with his lackluster
one man band.

His opponent, Pizza Steve,
however,

surprised everyone
with a pyrotechnic show

including a k*ller drum solo.

As we can see here,

Pizza Steve
is leading the polls in the RV.

If he keeps this up,

his victory
will be a sure thing.

The question remains,

can Uncle Grandpa
make a comeback

after his ultra lame
introduction?

All right, guys.

I hope you worked up
an appetite for lunch!

Oh, hey, guys.

All: Huh?

Lunch is on me!

Free hot dogs for everyone!

[ Growls ]

That's right!

Vote for Uncle Grandpa,

and you can count on free,
delicious hot dog lunches daily!

And guess what?

I'll throw in the mustard,
as well.

No extra charge.

The latest news is in.

After winning over the crowd

with his promise
of free hot dog lunches,

Uncle Grandpa
has the boost he needs

to place him ahead
in the official RV poll.

I predict a landslide victory
for Uncle Grandpa

if Pizza Steve doesn't make
a serious comeback.

Oh,
I got a comeback for you!

♪♪

Male Announcer:
Real, honest values.

A slice of pizza in a sweater
who cares.

[ Sniffs ]

[ Sighs ]

Hi. My name is Pizza Steve.

I know you have
some big decisions to make

during this election.

But, decisions are hard!

But, that's freedom for you.

Freedom is hard.

I want to make your life easier.

So, forget
all that "freedom" nonsense,

and let me do
the deciding for you.

Simple.

You give me your vote,

and, I'll give you
peace of mind.

Female Announcer: Paid for by
the Pizza Steve for  

Male Announcer: President  
Female Announcer: Foundation.

Oh, I agree.
Wow!

I agree!
I think that looked great.

[ Majestic music plays ]

[ Whap! ]

Thank you
for your support.

Thanks for your support.

Thanks for your support.

Thanks for your support.

Aah!

[ Sloop! ]

[ Grunts ]
Hello, my friends.

I'm here to talk about
how we green people

need to stick together.

[ Sloop! ]

[ Plop! ]

[ Smooches ]
[ Baby coos ]

[ Smooches ]
[ Baby coos ]

Goo goo gah gah!
[ Laughs wickedly ]

[ Snarls, chomp! ]

[ All "oh" ]

Mission accomplished.

[ Sloop! ]

Welcome to tonight's
presidential debate

between the incumbent,
Uncle Grandpa...

[ Muffled ] Good morning.
[ Feedback ]

Yes.

...and his challenger,
uh, Pizza Steve?

Yep. Right here.

Can we get Pizza Steve
a stool or something?

Mr. Uncle Grandpa,
your opening statement.

[ Squish! ]
Ha ha. Stool.

All...right.

And, Pizza Steve,
your opening statement?

I'm Pizza Steve,
and I'm a winner.

My opponent
is an irrelevant clown

with zero credibility  

a total loser.

Dirty bird.

Pizza Steve,

the RV is in need
of serious repair.

[ Boing! ]

[ Glass shatters ]

But it's also deep in debt.

Do you have a plan
to deal with the situation?

Two words, Crispin  

duct tape, bro.

You could fix anything
with this stuff.

I concur.
I did not know that.

Uncle Grandpa,
your rebuttal?

Uncle Grandpa?

[ Muffled screaming ]

I'm afraid you'll have to
speak up, Uncle Grandpa.

[ Grunts ]

I said that
"duct tape, bro"

is three words,
not two!

Indeed.

What then would you do

to improve
the state of the RV?

Well, Crispin...
[ Clears throat ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]
... even though
things look bleak,

I believe, if we all
put aside our differences

and find what unites us,

we can make the RV great again,
better than it ever was.

We could put in
a pancake machine.

We could have ice cream
on the fifth floor,

salty snacks on the eighth.

Bah!
[ Boom! ]

Just where are you gonna
get the ch iz ash money

to pay for all this
pie in the sky?

I'm glad you asked,
Poo Poo Steve!

We'll just use the money

that accumulates
in the change jar!

Your platform
is full of holes.

[ Feedback ]

Would you mind elaborating
on that, Pizza Steve?

Look, the bottom line is
that I believe

that people should have
the right to live in squalor

if I want them to.

I mean, why should I
have to pay for dumb things

like new brakes
or gasoline?

If I want to spend
all the money on, say,

a Burrito Bill's Macho
Muchacho Burrito for myself,

then I should be able to.

Oh, that's ridiculous!

Actually, it's delicious.

And it quite simply
demonstrates

the principle of
dribble down economics.

Imagine, if you will,
"Captain Fool" here

is all of you peasants.

So I,
the awesome big shot,

take a bite of this
mouth watering burrito.

[ Chomp!, Squirt! ]

[ Babbling ]

With Pizza Steve's
dribble down plan,

everyone wins.

That's it, you maniac!

You're going down!

[ Grunting ]

Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ooh! Oh! Ow!

[ Metal clinking ]

Tiny Miracle: Um, guys...

Belly Bag:
This doesn't look good!

Hey, guys,
we got a problem.

Take that!
Have some of this!

Guys,
this isn't good at all.
[ Both grunting ]

Pizza Steve for president!
I'm President! I'm President!

Tiny Crusher: Looks like we are
headed straight for the...

car crusher?!

Got to drive us
out of here, stat!

[ Grunts ]
The key broke!

It's no use saving the RV.

We got bail out!

Guys, we're about to be crushed
by the car crusher.

We got to do something
before we turn into scrap metal!

Aah!

You got to help us!

But the election!
But the election!

We don't have time
for an election!

Well, I can't speak
for my opponent,

but Stevie wanna be pres,

so Stevie's staying in the fight

till the bitter end, bro.

[ Roars ]
Please do something.

I'm President!
Uh, uh...

Me!
Uh, uh...

Uh...
The RV would be nothing

without me for president!

Pizza Steve!

[ Groaning ]

[ Groaning intensifies ]

Crispin:
And now, an "RV Election"
special report.

In a last minute decision,

Uncle Grandpa decided
to pull out of the race.

Uncle Grandpa, please tell us
why you made this choice

to forego being a possible
president of the RV.

Well, Crispin,
I decided I value my friendship

with this great group of pals
behind me

more than some pointless
puppet job in politics.

There you have it  
friends over politics.

And now a word
with the RV's new leader,

President Pizza Steve.

Well, Crispin,

I knew from the start

that President Pizza Steve
was going to win

because the best always wins
and losers always lose.

That's right.

President Pizza Steve
is the best.

"President Pizza Steve
is the best,"

a statement
that might be debatable.

[ Whir! ]
But in the world
of politics...

[ Whistle! ]
... who really cares?

[ Crash! ]

I'm Crispin Mulcahy,
signing off.

See you next time,
and, remember,

the winds of freedom will blow
as long as the sky is blue

and my lies are true.

[ Twinkle! ]

♪♪

That was quite delicious.