03x22 - The Lepre-Con

[bunniefuu]

[ Up tempo music plays ]
good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

[ Roars ]

Good morning.

Good morning!

[ Upbeat music plays ]

[ Flute plays ]

[ Irish accent ] stop
right there! You got any gold?

Yeah, right!
Let me see that stupid thing!

You're probably hiding
some gold in here.

Empty! [ Grumbles ]

Here, you dumb little liar!
Now, get lost!

[ Thwack! ]

Fiddle dee twiddles!

At this rate,
I'll never find me gold.

[ Whoosh! ]
Huh?
Where's that sound coming from?

Agh!
[ Crash! ]

[ Screaming ]

Top o' the mornin', ireland!

And happy st. Patrick's day.

[ Roars ]

You said it,
giant realistic flying tiger.

This sure is an accurate
portrayal of this country.

But, uncle grandpa,

Isn't ireland full
of l l l leprechauns?

Pbht! Leprechauns?!
This guy!

Belly bag, everyone knows
leprechauns are make believe.

Why you stressin', dawg?

Your shoulders
are gonna get all tense.

Besides, ireland

Is where my good friend
the forest king lives.

[ Roars ]

He's my old
college buddy.

We both majored
in child helping magic,

But he took
the business route.

He's making like
six figures a year.

The forest king?

Sounds like just the fellow
who has me gold.

Hey, get out of here!

Blecch!
[ Sizzle! ]

[ Grunts ]
whoa! Wha ha!

The last thing any of us
need to worry about

Is some dumb
fairy tale freak.

[ Grunts ]
huh?

I was wondering if you
could help me find me gold?

Leprechaun!

Whoa!

They're real!
They're real!

Of course I'm real.

And I just wanted
to know if I

[ Slap! Slap! ]
What the?! Stop that!

I need you to take me to your
forest king friend and

[ Slap! ]
I said stop doing tha

[ Slap! ]
Are you crazy?!

Stop hitting me!

[ Roars ]

Quick, belly bag,
the pepper slime!

Here!
No, no, no!

Go!

For crying out loud
ow!

Just listen to me for a sec

[ Slap! ]
Listen to m

[ Slap! ]
[ Screams, grumbles ]

It's still alive!

[ Roars ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Growls ]

[ Muttering ]

Uh, do you think
we were a little harsh on him?

No. Leprechauns
are not pure of heart.

Besides, they don't have
any feelings, anyway.

[ Sobbing ]

I hate that fella!
What's wrong with leprechauns?

I bet if I were a human child,
he'd have no problem helping me.

Wait a second!
That's it!

[ Laughs ] I'll disguise myself
as a little human boy,

And then he'll have to help me.

Tweedle dee twiggles!

I'm about to be richer
than me wildest dreams!

So I told the maitre d' if he
didn't bring out the manager,

I'd never get out
of this ice machine.

Hello there!
My name is little bradley!

I'm just a little ol' boy
walking through the forest.

Hello there, little bradley!
I'm your uncle grandpa!

What's a convincingly young
irish boy like yourself

Doing here?

You know, there's a filthy
little leprechaun

In these woods.

He's really ugly
and smells like chlorine.

Probably never had a girlfriend
his entire life.

But I scared him away. He ran
crying like a little baby.

He's probably out somewhere

Gorging himself on trash
from somebody's garbage can.

Okay! I get it!

I mean...thank you
for the warning, uncle grandpa.

Now, I was wondering
if you could kindly
help me find me gold?

Gold? Hmm.
Never heard of it.

But I sure love
helping kids!

So the answer is yes,
I'll help ya!

Yay! You've made this little boy
so happy! Let's go!

Tiger, be a doll
and watch the rv

While I'm off helping
that kid with a beard.

Don't worry,
your uncle grandpa

Is gonna find your gold,
lickety split!

Is this your gold?

No.

[ Snoring ]

[ Wiggle! Pop! ]

Gold?

No.

[ Sighs ]
twiddle dee dee.

Look, uncle grandpa,
this isn't me gold.

Lemons aren't me gold.

Me gold is a big pile
of shiny coins

That you can buy things
with!

Seen anything like that
around?

Oh! Ha ha. Dorp!

Gold is money!

I know who has lots o' money!
The forest king, of course!

And I know
his secret rhyme.

Forest king, forest king,
show me where you are!

Follow me, young boys!

I'll lead ye
to the forest king!

[ Howling in distance ]

This way, young men!

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Looks a little spooky,
fiddle dee dee.

Ah, don't worry
about it, bradley.

Nothing can hurt you in the
forest king's forest kingdom

Just as long
as you're pure of heart.

[ Gulps ]

Ha! See?
Ireland isn't so scary

Certainly not
for us two pure hearted boys.

What could
possibly harm us?

[ Stammers ]
what is it, boy?

You think I look handsome?
You think I'm charming?

Witty, droll, ravishing?

A monster biting you!
Can't you feel that?!

Nah. I told you,
I'm pure of heart!

Hmm. You don't scare me!
I'm a pure hearted bo

[ Clucking, gobbling ]
aagh!

[ Chuckles ]
tickles, doesn't it, sport?

Hey, wait for us!

[ Creak! ]

[ Water splashes ]

Whee!

Hey, bradley,
check it out!

I'm a fisherman!

Now you do it!

Well, i, uh...

Ya see, I have allergies,
and i, uh...

You do it.

Or are you not pure?

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Guess I'll just lean over
and...

Take a looksy...

[ Gulps ]
diddly dee.

Oh, hey, we're here!

Mm hmm, mm hmm.
Nice place.

[ Farts ]
aaah!

[ Muffled screaming ]

Who are you?

[ Screaming ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

Bradley!

Let's go, friend.
Let's go meet the forest king!

Oh, hello there!

You two young boys must be
looking for the forest king.

He's away
at a video game convention,

So he asked me kindly
if I didn't mind looking after

His big bag of money
over there.

Twattle dee dee!

So, what can I do
for you boys?

Do you have
any spaghetti or, uh...

We'd like to look
at the gold, please!

Sure,
I don't see why not,

Just so long as you can
prove you're pure of heart.

You first, handsome boy.

I have a level 25 pure heart,
of course,

And a plus five
boy like wonder, see?

Very good.

Now, what about you,
little fella?

Uh, um...

Twittle tay tee toe.

Um...

There ya go!

Hmm...

Okay!
Off you go, boys!

Oh, and, bradley...

See ya real soon.

There you go, bradley.
All the gold in ireland!

Get away!
Go on, scram!

Oh, me gold!

Oh, me gold, me gold!
Ha ha!

Bradley,
what's come over you?!

You're not acting
very boy like.

Ha ha ha! You're a real sap,
uncle grandpa!

I'm not a boy at all!

See?!

Gah! Leprechaun!

A dirty, little,
stinking leprechaun!

I bet you think
you can steal that gold!

Well, I won't let you!

Oh, no!

Oof!

Ha ha ha!

Twoddle twoddle doo!

Oh, no! He made off
with the forest king's gold.

Maybe I'll just leave
before the forest king returns.

[ Fanfare plays ]

The forest king returns!

Hey, everybody! Hey, y'all!
Y'all miss me?

Oh, hey, uncle g.
What's up?!

That's a funny face, man.
What's up?

Seriously, what's up?
You oka

[ Gasps ]
my gold!

Aw, man! Aw, no!

What happened to my gold,
man?

A leprechaun took it.

Oh, dang!
This is bad.

Gold is what keeps
this forest together.

Look at this guy.
Look at his weak little legs.

He can't dance with those.
He can barely stand.

And look at this one.

Is he supposed to look
like that?

You know?
I don't know.

Oh, man, this is bad!

What should we do,
uncle grandpa?

Gee, I don't know.

It'd take all the sparkles of
a rainbow to con a leprechaun.

Uh! Nuuhhh! Idea!

Uh, you okay, man?

Get your forest critters
together

And leave the rest
to uncky gumper!

h* ta ta da h* da fi
da la teedle! [ Laughs ]

Hey, I'm walking here!

Spare some change, sir?

No way! I work hard
for me money, and it's mine!

Please, sir,
can you spare some change?

No! You'll just spend it
on soda and candies!

[ Panting ]

They're all
after me lucky coins.

Some change?

Get out of here!

[ Screams ]

I need to put me gold
somewhere.

Somewhere secret,
but where?

[ Sparkle! ]

Idea!

[ Laughing ]

[ Grunts ]

Got you, little piggy!

But but but I followed
that rainbow!

That ain't no rainbow,
chum!

That's giant realistic
flying tiger!

[ Ting! ]

Good job, uncle grandpa,
you did it!

Oh, man, my gold!

Now my forest can thrive
once again.

Here you go, guys!
Have some gold!

Gold for everyone!
Ha ha!

Now, you returned my gold
to me,

And for that I grant you
one wish.

Hmm...

Oh, I got it!

The destruction
of all leprechauns.

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Pop! ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

That was quite delicious.