02x04 - David, David, David

[bunniefuu]

[female narrator] Previously on "The Real World.."

- Oh.. - Nice to meet you.

[Tami] Moving in this house with six other people

is gonna k*ll my sex life.

[David] Tami's a nice girl.

She has a nice personality

she has beautiful eyes, you know.

She's a smart girl.

David seems like a, a cool person.

By being a comic, I'm always on stage.

Hi, y'all, how are ya? I'm running for mayor.

[Dominic] This is the true story.

♪ True story ♪

[Tami] Of seven strangers.

[Jon] Picked to live in a house. Beth!

[Beth] And have their lives taped.

[Aaron] To find out what happens.

[Irene] When people stop being polite.

[David] And start getting real.

[male narrator] "The Real World," California.

♪ She's so fine ♪

I'm stripes.

[David] Tami's an attractive girl.

You know, I am physically attracted to Tami

but I'm not gonna chase her around.

Oh!

She's very moody.

She's a very moody woman.

Um, incredibly fine.

♪ Simply irresistible ♪♪ She's so fine ♪

[laughing]

She has a body from hell.

♪ She used to look good to me ♪

♪ But now I find her ♪

Booyah.

♪ Simply irresistible ♪♪

I'm gonna get ya, Tami.

[laughing]

♪ Once again I surrender ♪

♪ Lock it up throw the key ♪

♪ I'm your prisoner ♪

[Tami] My group is like the most important

thing to me right now

and all I want, all I strive for

is for us to make it, and to really be successful

and to really put out good quality songs.

I want to succeed at that

more than anything in the world.

♪ I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve to your lovin' ♪

♪ I can't resist the fever of your kissin' and your huggin' ♪

♪ I'll be your prisoner never will I complain ♪

♪ Hook me up in chains ain't no shame ♪

♪ I'm your love sl*ve ♪

♪ You whipped it on me oh yes I must confess ♪

♪ Your love is all that and then some ♪

♪ And never too much and nevertheless ♪

♪ So baby keep it coming ♪

♪ 'Cause you're the only one who can love me ♪

♪ Like the way it should be done ♪

♪ I'm a prisoner of your love ♪♪

David is quite a character.

He's, he's hilarious.

I mean, he really, he makes me laugh all the time.

[Beth] David is just a funny guy, I-I like talking with him.

If I'm upset or depressed, I know that I can go to David.

I give you two, two weeks before you guys hop in bed.

No, not with that attitude.

No, you see..

If she wanted to..

If I wanted to, I, I I can get some tonight.

'I'm sure you could.'

But I'll not.

I like masturbating.

Anything David says is funny, anything.

One night, we were up at the top of the steps talking

and...we were talking about masturbation.

Every person in their life has masturbated.

David, if I masturbated, I would tell you.

And I can tell the more she denies it

the more she has masturbated.

And I don't masturbate!

I masturbate.

I like it.

David and Tami are supposed go out to dinner tonight.

That's what he said.

Hm, I wonder what's for dessert.

[instrumental music]

The day on Melrose, it was David, Jon and myself

and two of David's buddies from Chicago.

Oh, man, there are some beautiful women here.

And you're included, you fit right in.

I believe you started this whole beautiful woman thing.

At first, I was a little upset about David's buddies

being with us because I wanted it to be a day

where the three of us kinda connected.

There's a taco place up there.

- Where? - Right up there.

Oh, that say tattoo.

[David] We was walking down Melrose and saw this little tattoo shop.

[Tami] I got a tattoo, hurt like hell.

Yo, Tami, where's a good place to put a tattoo?

David got a tattoo, he just wants to be like me.

You know, that's-that's all I can say.

Anything I do, he wants to do.

How about across my chest?

'It's not gonna hurt though.'

- 'It's not gonna hurt--' - It is gonna hurt.

[buzzing]

[screaming]

♪ Give it give-give give give it ♪

[Tami] We decided to take Jon to Spike Lee's store

and try to hip-hop him out a little bit

and get him some, some hip-hop gear.

♪ Give it give it ♪♪

He wasn't going for it.

He's sticking strictly Country-western.

That's-that's his thing, that's what he wants.

That's the way it is.

That ain't a real Western store

that's, like, an LA Western store

you know what I'm saying?

[David] My boys, they was heckling everybody on Melrose.

You know, just meeting all kinds of women

and just acting real wild.

'The next Garth Brooks is right here.'

- What do you do? - I'm in school.

What do you do well?

When we're together, we have this competition thing

where we try to meet as much women as possible.

It's just a man thing, you know, between us.

And whoever has the most numbers or whatever

at the end of the night is the winner.

- What's his name? - Cooper.

- What kind of dog is he? - He's a pug.

'Hey, hey, wait, wait.'

Come, come, child. Come, come, child.

[indistinct chattering]

David and I were supposed to, to go out to dinner

and I decided at the last minute

that that wouldn't be a good idea.

And she came up to me, and she says

"You know, Dave, um, after the, after the mall, I'm really tired

and I don't know wanna go out with you tonight."

Not to mention the fact that when we woke up this morning

I thought it was gonna be the three of us just hanging out

and then now we got five people.

But they out of town, it just came up.

- They called me, they said-- - What's wrong with tomorrow?

They're leaving tomorrow.

- Oh. - It's my boys.

After that, I was like, "Fine, forget it, you know.

Fine, you're gonna just ditch me like that, no problem."

Then I go out with you today

and all you do is collect phone numbers--

- You know, you know-- - And do your ♪ ♪ ♪ all day.

And I'm supposed to take you seriously.

Time out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I cancel everything, so we can go out to eat.

All of a sudden, you told me you don't wanna go. That is..

You gotta admit that is wrong.

I can say that you're a very spoiled woman.

That when you don't get your way, you pout and you get angry.

- 'No, I don't. No, I don't.' - Yes, you do, you do. You do.

The day would have continued

and we would not have went to dinner, not Tami and David.

It would've been Tami, David, Andre, George.

- 'No, it wouldn't!' - No, no.

I feel that it would have!

- I feel it wouldn't. - So I said, so I said..

- I know where to draw the line. - So, I said..

Oh, I'm going to take them out for dinner, right?

'Cause you said to me, you said to me

"My friends are here from out of town

I wanna spend time with them."

Okay, well fine, okay, well fine.

Let's cancel the date, you spend time with your friends.

You know, we had plans, you just up and canceled the date.

[instrumental music]

That still makes me feel bad. You invited me over--

She wanna call me a womanizer

then she does evil women... like that, you know.

"I don't wanna go out now."

I think she finally realized, she apologized to my friends

she apologized to me, and that was it.

I apologize.

You don't even wanna hug me.

Oh, I was hurt, I was really hurt.

You know, badly, you know, I ain't even..

'I was really hurt though. I mean..'

Well, I'm showing you that I'm-I'm big.

I, I want to show you that I'm big too.

[laughing]

I think that David and I are gonna be friends

going to continue to be friends, and that's it.

This stuff's supposed to get the pimples off your face

and all the blackheads and stuff like that.

I think my pursuit with Tami just about ended.

'Cause after she broke the date off that showed me

how much she think of me, you know what I'm saying.

You know, I don't chase after nobody.

You know what I'm saying?

Just one of those things I just don't do.

[instrumental music]

[Tami] At the Cheesecake Factory

everybody was laughing and joking

and eating fattening foods.

[Beth] It was just funny the talks we were having.

Just talked about some of our embarrassing moments.

Did you ever stuff your bra?

No, I never had to do that. You stuffed your bra?

- 'Yeah, she did.' - No, I didn't..

I did not stuff my bra, I was just curious

if maybe Tami did.

[Tami] 'You know those booty lifter things'

that they sell atFrederick's?

Where like the hole is out and you put it on.

Have you ever seen those? And you put it on.

And like your butt sits right.

'Like, it's like a hole in the back'

so your butt, like, sticks out of this hole

to make your butt look like really big.

All black girls have, like, nice butts, and I didn't.

Mine's just, like, flat, so I used this, this thing

to try to lift mines up, and it worked

until I started dancing.

And I got so many compliments 'cause guys were like

"Damn, you know, that butt can't be real, you know."

I was strolling through the club, I was like so happy.

Okay, so this guy, like, asked me to dance, right?

- And he grabbed your a*s! - No.

My-my a*s was really, it was really my a*s

it was just sticking out of this hole in this thing.

But by the end of the night, after we started dancing

the hole closed up, and my butt was like this.

[all laughing]

I was totally embarrassed, 'cause I was like

strolling through the club.

I wanted to make my way through, past every guy, you know

the cute guys, so they could like, check out my new butt.

[instrumental music]

I was on "Studs" about a year ago, and I decided

I was sitting in my office one day and I said

I should do Studs again.

And just when I was thinking that they happened to call me.

We were able to get three women

who wanted to go on dates with..

"Studs" is a TV game show

where they take three girls and two guys

and the two guys go out with the same three girls.

I wanted to do Studs because I'm leading a very

down social life right now

and I wanted to meet some new people

and go out on a couple of dates

and interact with some other people

and, and see if I could find a nice guy.

[instrumental music]

The guy that I'm seeing from "Studs," his name is Kenya.

[music continues]

We had a lot of fun at Knott's, we road the roller coasters

and he tried to win me stuffed animals.

[music continues]

He sang to me at Knott's in front of all of these people

so I thought that really like, turned me on.

♪ To say goodbye ♪

♪ To yesterday ♪♪

I like that.

I think that after the Studs thing is over

I probably would like to see him again.

[instrumental music]

Bachelor number two looked really nice.

I was physically attracted to him.

Thank you.

When I first saw him, I was like, you know

"Yeah, this is all me" 'cause he was so hot

he looked really good.

Well, we're gonna eat because Irene's about minutes away.

[Aaron] 'Are you guys going bowling and stuff?'

Um, yeah.

- Alright, man, - Nice meeting you.

'You too, man.'

You know, uh, non-studs, we just troll around.

Well, if you guys need any stud tips..

[instrumental music]

♪ 'Cause there's a lot of fish in the sea ♪

♪ There's a lot of fish in the sea ♪♪

There's a lot of fish in the sea

ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.

[instrumental music]

♪ Shoo ♪♪ Shoo-doo-doo-doo doo-uh ♪

♪ Shoo ♪♪ Shoo-doo-doo doo ♪

♪ Shoo ♪♪

You're proud of yourself.

- Well, I'm good. - Hey!

'Cause I can tell that she is the type of woman

that likes to take men and just drag 'em around by their nose.

If she can't get you like that, she don't wanna have

anything to do with you.

And I think she's kinda spoiled 'cause I'm kinda spoiled.

You know, "If you can't have your way, then away with you."

[instrumental music]

Irene had arranged for us to go bowling

at o'clock on a Friday night.

[music continues]

[Aaron] Friday night, walked in the door

and everybody said they were going bowling

so I said, "Yeah, I'll go."

Twenty minutes, thirty minutes rolled by

they said they were waiting for Irene.

Irene was skiing up in Big Bear.

I guess we should've known that when we all get together

that i-it's gonna be disastrous.

So we said, "David, we're leaving now."

He says, "Can you give me two minutes to brush my teeth?"

I said, "Sure, hurry up."

And he just stood there.

And I was like, "David, we're gonna leave right now."

I said, "Y'all wanna go without me, go ahead," and I was just

playing, I didn't mean for them to go, and they left me.

So we took off bowling, everything was fine, I felt.

You know, he knew we were leaving.

I got mad.

[car alarm blaring]

[Dominic] David shows up with Tami and her date from "Studs."

♪ Stand back ♪

[David] The minute I walk in that bowling alley

I saw the guys just smiling, bowling their a*s off

it just snapped in my head.

I said, I'm on the phone.

All you guys at the same time, you're like this big-a*s grunt

and left me in the house.

I said, "Well, go ahead then."

You know what, I can't stand the ♪ ♪ ♪ cliques

that is in the house. It is the cliques, man!

I'm not a violent person, but God, I wanted to hit him.

What, you don't wanna hear what I gotta say?

Yeah, but why didn't you.. I'll tell you ♪ ♪ ♪ say.

I was ♪ ♪ ♪ waiting for an hour and a half.

I was waiting ♪ ♪ ♪ an hour ♪ ♪ ♪ and a half.

The way you guys were acting was ridiculous.

We'd been waiting an hour and a half, we wanted to go bowling.

All we said was, "We're leaving right now."

- I said that to you guys! - No--

I was taking care of business, I said," Wait a minute.."

You said, "Wait, I'm on the phone."

I said, "Wait, I'm on the phone."

That's what I said.

That's all you had to ♪ ♪ ♪ say to us.

I said, wait.

I love when we go out, it's sure fun.

No, it is not.

- Leave! - I don't have to leave!

You're a ♪ ♪ ♪ embarrassment, man!

'You know, ♪ ♪ ♪.'

- Yeah, obviously. - Obviously then.

Piece of ♪ ♪ ♪.

'm*dget.'

[Irene] I was just sick and tired of it.

I don't need to take that ♪ ♪ ♪ from him

or from anybody in this house.

Irene got upset and she walked out, stormed out.

Then I went outside to see Irene.

David was out there, and he started again.

But he, he was way out of line, what he did

you know and I told him.

All you had to say is, "I'm making a phone call

can you wait two minutes?"

- That's what I said! - No, you didn't say that.

Yes, I did! You guys didn't hear me.

You know why you didn't hear me?

I said, "I'm on the phone, please wait."

No, you never said, I've never heard

that word please come out of you.

Okay, I'm talking like that, you can ask

Aaron's word, you're talking out of your a*s.

Come back here in my face and talk to me.

Come back in my ♪ ♪ ♪ face and talk to me.

Don't speak to me that way now, David.

Well, what you gonna do?

I'm trying to talk to you like a ♪ ♪ ♪ man!

David, listen to me, we'd been trying to leave for a half--

You were waiting for me for half hour?

Let me speak, please.

We'd been trying to leave for half hour

we were trying to call a cab, you were on the phone

we couldn't call a cab.

[Dominic] You know, eventually, we calmed down.

Come on, man, come on in and have a beer.

We went inside, hugged and kissed

bought him a beer.

I felt disrespected.

Well, no, there's no reason.

[instrumental music]

It was a silly situation.

He does aggravate

accuses people of being pigs when he's a pig himself

but we all are.

You know, if he, if he just lightened up a little, I think

you know, and stop thinking like

like people are against him.

It was just, when I walked in, ya'll was just all bonding

and drinking beer and bowling.

I was just like, "Oh." I just snapped, man.

So I just saw you guys and I'm left in the house by myself

with the ♪ ♪ ♪ cameras, wondering where everybody is.

And then they come home, "Anybody home?"

And I come downstairs, shoes and "Oh, yeah, they left me."

And they're all laughing and giggling

and I just snapped.

You know, I felt sorry for her because she had her own

ball and shoes and everything.

[Jon] David being a comedian, I think that he's always performing.

I think he's always trying to crack jokes and be funny.

We gonna watch television

and we're gonna fly a ♪ ♪ ♪ kite in the middle of the day

and we're gonna come back, and we're gonna eat

cakes and donuts together, and we're gonna be beautiful.

He's always playing up to different people

or showing off in some way or another

and i-it's really, it's really annoying.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

[Irene] I called here at the house to talk to Beth

to let her know what happened, and David was here and Aaron.

Aaron apologized, Beth was very concerned

Aaron was very concerned.

If everyone's got a problem, you can't just sit

and let it fester inside you because you'll just go nuts.

[Irene] 'Everything with him is an argument'

'and he's never wrong. He can't be wrong!'

'He doesn't even know how to compromise!'

Do you wanna speak to him 'cause he wants to speak to you.

'Fine.'

David, uh, wanted to talk.

I didn't wanna talk to him

but I thought, "Fine, let him talk."

Yo, man, I'm trying to talk.

It's people, um, you know

they get mad and they don't tell a person

and they tell everybody around the person instead of them.

I'm sorry, I did act..

I did act, act very childish, but I was angry.

I just didn't know you had planned it

and I thought it was a group thing too, but nevertheless

uh, we'll talk about it on Tuesday when I see you.

'We will, we'll talk about it on Tuesday.'

- Okay? - 'Alright then.'

[Irene] Our meeting is scheduled for Tuesday night.

I suggest that we all be put into cages.

[instrumental music]

God.

[music continues]

[Jon] David really feels like he's more important

than the rest of the people in this house.

If they were sticking to that, these dishes would not be here.

And somebody'sCap'n Crunch is laying here.

And Cap'n Crunch on the other side of the room.

- Stop it. - 'We have to talk about it.'

Well, don't talk at me, talk to me.

- Don't talk at me. - 'David, she is..'

She's talking to you, man.

Talk to me. I-I'm in a bad mood.

Just ♪ ♪ ♪ it, you know what.

- Dom.. - Nah, you know, nah.

You say something to someone around here, and they ♪ ♪ ♪.

[David] 'I'm trying to get my calls around here.'

Hold on, can you please shut your mouth?

- So I can get this information. - You shut your mouth.

Hurry up and get off the damn phone.

[Jon] Beth was on the phone talking to her sister.

We had the call waiting beeped in

and Beth answered the phone, it was for David, and Beth says

"Well, you know, I'm on the other line. Can you call back?"

And David just blew up like

"How dare you tell my call to call back?

I don't care if you're on the phone or not."

If the phone rings, have common courtesy to say--

I did have common courtesy, but you jumped down my throat!

"David, such-and-such a person is on the phone, alright.

Can she call you back?"

Yes. That's all.

Because I've lost a lot of calls since I've been here.

♪ ♪ ♪ walk away because you think you're all that.

That's why you got them big-a*s, hairy-a*s pimples on your face

because you deserve 'em!

He went directly to hurt somebody's feelings.

I mean, he wasn't trying to be funny.

He wa-he wasn't trying to prove a point

he-was-he was just basically trying to hurt Beth's feelings

and he really did.

I think he just brings out the worst in a lot of people

and that's why everybody's fighting here.

Ooh! I-I could strangle him. I felt like k*lling him.

Jeez, this ain't "Melrose Place", you know.

We don't all love each other.

David's fought with everybody in the house.

He's just a really hard person to get along with

a hard person to like.

[Aaron] I think the most important thing is just have

an understanding where everyone's coming from.

You have to stay true to what you are and what you believe

and your opinions, yet at the same time

you need to understand where people are coming from.

So I think, the most important thing is just to be

like, understanding.

Irene, what would you like to say?

'Tami? Dominic?'

This thing about eventually cleaning the dishes up

at the end of the day, if you don't have time to clean up

after yourself, then don't eat.

David, I don't know who it is, but you're gonna..

This is another thing that pisses me off.

If I say something, you're saying

"Oh, you're accusing me."

'No, but if you did it, then that's what happened.'

'I say, if there's an item of clothing'

that ain't in your bedroom, it goes in the trash.

I don't like going to the bathroom and seeing

who's the Q-tip freak here?

That's-that's what I think.. There's seven people here.

Wait a minute, hold on. I disagree with that.

Anybody throw my ♪ ♪ ♪ out, and take time to throw

my ♪ ♪ ♪ in the trash, there's gonna be a problem here.

You know what my problem, see, I'm used to..

Man, with my friends, Dave, I can ♪ ♪ ♪ with anybody.

My people that I'm around, I can joke with them

and tease them about anything

and you know, so I'm used to that, so, okay

I won't ♪ ♪ ♪ with no more..

[Beth] 'But you do with me more than I think you do--'

Because, I mean, we're conversing a lot more.

[Beth] 'We do, we do, but there's a certain point--'

No problem, okay, fine, fine.

Where you're starting to hurt my feelings, okay?

Where you're trying to hurt my feelings

and I don't appreciate it.

- Okay, cool. - 'Is what I'm saying.'

I'm sorry, and I apologize to you deeply.

[Tami] 'Youse feel like you're the only person who can say something'

and then nobody can come with their opinion.

But I feel like everybody's hopping on me.

No, that's your insecurity then

because we're talking about everybody.

That is not my insecurity.

'You take offense to everything'

every time somebody says something, you take offense.

[Dominic] 'David, David, David.'

I don't care. That's how I feel about you.

- 'Get off of me.' - 'We are, but it's like--'

No, no, no, don't turn this meeting on me

because I don't feel like arguing.

- David-- - I don't want to hear it.

I don't want to hear it. Turn it back to the house.

- That's pretty damn ignorant. - Okay.

I'm not upset. Talk about it! I'm not upset.

I don't know, I-I guess that's David for you.

I don't think anything changed

from him at all, from the meeting.

I think he's never gonna change.

Personally, I'd like to think David will come to his senses.

[David] And I mean it, they're all talking at me.

You can't talk six at a time.

I'm not gonna hear what you're saying.

Don't treat me like I'm a child.

I'm a human being.

Talk to me on the same level.

[music continues]

[male narrator] Next on "The Real World.."

[Tami] I'm really nervous about going on "Studs."

I don't know why anybody in the world

would wanna be on that show.

[Tami] Personally, I thought I was

the most attractive out of the three, you know.

I just thought for sure that I would just win the show.

[Jon] I found myself wondering

"What are you doing in Los Angeles?"

[Dominic] Will Jon venture out in daylight hours on his own?

I want you guys to be comfortable and speak up.

You have any problems speaking up loud?

- No, I have a big mouth. - Okay, everybody speak up.

When I start counting down from ten, you guys are on the show.

One is gonna be the bump out, .

[applauding and cheering]

[indistinct]

[male #] 'Three, two, one..'