08x02 - An Affair to Forget

[bunniefuu]

Oh! [MUMBLES]

[MUMBLES]

[SIGHS, GRUMBLES]

-Hi.
-[GROANS]

Oh, Tony,
are-- are you all right?

Oh, I'm-- I'm fine.
I'm-- I'm fine. I'm just...

I'm just not myself
this morning.

Oh, uh, anything to do
with what was said last night?

-Oh, no, no, no.
-Oh, To--

-[GROANS]
-Uh, maybe a little. [CHUCKLES]

I-- I just-- I couldn't sleep
a wink last night.

Me either.

I mean I-- I just couldn't stop
thinking about you, you know.

You in your room, me in mine.
Only a few measly feet apart.

The only thing separating you
from me and me from you

is one thin wall, a hallway,

another thin wall,
Jonathan's room...

and a half a bath.

Oh, Tony, it's so wonderful
to finally be able

to express how we feel.

Oh, you-- you ain't kidding,
Angela, you know,

I'm so tired
of keeping it bottled up.

I mean I-- I wanna shout it
from the rooftops,

-[ANGELA CHUCKLES]
-I wanna tell it to the world.

-Oh, Tony.
-Oh, Angela. Huh! Uh-uh!

Morning, buddy. Juice?

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for livin' ♪

♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times
I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you
My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life
A brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

Tony, what is wrong?

Why did you pull away
from me like that?

Shh. It was just--
it was just a reflex. I'm sorry.

Hey, what's going on back there?

Nothing. Nothing.
Uh, uh, we were--

we were just debating
whether it was time

to change the old baking soda.
[CHUCKLES]

[SNIFFS] It's time. [CHUCKLES]

To-- Tony.

Angela,
we'll talk about it later.

-Oh, fine.
-[TONY TUTS]

[SIGHS] Okay.

I know what's going on here.

-You do?
-Really?

Oh. Oh, Jonathan,
le-- let me explain.

What's to explain?
You're staring at my zit, right?

Right.

I knew it. I can just hear
my date tonight.

"Thanks for taking me
to the football game, Jonathan,

but could you keep
your head down?

Your zit's blocking my view."

-Oh, honey, it's not that bad.
-It's a bummer, Mom.

Don't squeeze it, sweetheart.

Okay. He's gone.
Now what is the problem?

The kid's got
the Rubaiyat of Khayyam

-growing out of his head.
-ANGELA: Tony, Tony, Tony!

I mean with you.

You obviously
don't want to kiss me.

Well, at least not in front
of Jonathan.

Angela, I mean it's--
it's, you know,

after seven years,
it's-- it's hard to just

change overnight.
I think I need time to adjust.

Well, it's kind of new
for me, too.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

-That's all? You're sure?
-Yes.

Uh, look I-- I think all we need
is, like, a little practice.

-Oh.
-Okay.

[CHUCKLES, GRUNTS]

Fish bone. Fish bone.

Ah, let her choke.

I need coffee.

Tony, could I see you
in the living room, please?

Tony, why don't you want
the family to know

what's going on?

Are you ashamed by this?
Are you embarrassed?

No, no. You're well-groomed
and everything.

Tony!

[SIGHS] Look, Angela,
I'm-- I'm just not ready

to go public with this yet,
you know, I'm a--

I'm a private person.

I think-- I think we--
we need some time to adjust.

-But they're family.
-Um, family's the worst, Angela.

They're gonna be watching
our every move.

We'll-- we'll be under
a microscope.

-We don't need that pressure.
-Uh, Tony,

you're being too sensitive.

I am sure they are going
to respect our privacy.

Quick! Binoculars!

Old man Jackson's in the hot tub
with the maid.

-Broom closet, top shelf.
-Thanks, fuzzy.

[TONY GROANS]

-Okay.
-See.

Okay. Maybe you have a point.

[SIGHS] Look,
that's all I'm saying.

Yeah. Well, what are we
supposed to do, Tony?

We're supposed to sneak around
like a couple of teenagers?

Well, for now.
I mean it could be fun, eh?

A stolen moment here,
a little kiss there,

all the while knowing your--
your mother's in the next room.

MONA: Go, Jackson, go!

Of course, you realize
I'm speaking about mother

-in the more universal sense.
-Yeah.

Tony, I don't know.

I was hoping for more
than stolen moments.

I want to enjoy
this relationship.

Well, so do I, Angela.
Believe me, we'll--

we'll have plenty of time
to spend together.

We just have to be smart
and plan carefully.

Okay, I'm going.

Hey, it was either cover it
or name it.

[TONY CHUCKLING]

-I'll be back at 10:00.
-TONY: Okay.

Oh! Oh, yeah. That's right.
You have a date tonight,

right, Jonathan?
Um, listen, Jonathan,

your mother and I, uh,
we were talking

and we decided
that if you're old enough

to have pimples,

you're old enough
to stay out till 11:00.

-Really?
-That's a big pimple.

Make it midnight. [CHUCKLES]

-Great! See you guys later.
-Okay.

-Be careful out there.
-Be careful outside, sweetheart.

-Okay.
-[SIGHS]

-One down, one to go.
-Well, that was very clever.

-[CHUCKLES]
-Except Mother and I have to be
at the Adweek banquet tonight.

Well, then I guess
I'll be home alone tonight.

-[HUMS]
-[GASPS] Of course,

I don't really have to go.

-Oh, Mother!
-Hey, hey,

what-- what are you
gonna tell her?

-I'll think of something.
-[MUMBLES]

[LAUGHS] You know...

I'm thinking Jackson's been
in the water too long.

He's all pruney. [CHUCKLES]

Then I realized
he's 85 years old.

[TONY LAUGHS]

Mother, you have to do me
this huge favor.

My old friend from college,
Louisa, is in town

for just one night.

She just got divorced
a couple of weeks ago,

and her husband got custody
of their Golden Retriever Harry.

Well, naturally,
she is completely distraught,

she needs a shoulder to cry on.

So, I'm going to meet her
at her hotel tonight.

The Sherry-Netherland, room 807.

Then you want me
to cover the banquet, right?

-Would you?
-Yeah, I guess so.

Uh, why can't Tony do it?

Oh, well, I'm-- I'm, you know,
I'm-- I'm still--

Tony's going to be
at the library,

preparing a paper
on the Peloponnesian w*r.

Professor Hendricks
is being a real bear about it.

He's demanding 10,000 words,
typed, double-spaced,

footnotes, appendix,
and bibliography.

Oh, I got to get a folder
for it, too.

♪ Wait a moment
Wait a moment longer ♪

♪ Oh, wait a moment ♪

-Yes.
-SAM: Dad?

-[DOOR CLOSING]
-No!

Oh, oh, oh! Roasted duck!

Dad, how could you cook
on a day like today?

It is so hot out there.

Well, you know,
what they say, Sam,

"If you can't stand the heat,
get out of the kitchen."

-Bubye! [CHUCKLES]
-Dad.

-Uh...
-Oh, Tony, everyth-- Sam!

What are you doing here?

Beats me,
I thought I'd be welcome.

Oh, honey, you are! You are!

It's just one problem.
We're going out.

-Oh.
-Then, Dad, why are you cooking?

[SIGHS] Angela?

It's a fifty dollar a plate
charity dinner

and it's potluck,
so that all the money

goes to the charity
and isn't spent on food.

Tony, would you get the dessert?
We have to leave.

Oh, yes. Fine, fine,
just tell me what I made.

[BOTH LAUGH]

-Oh, you silly goose,
we're ten minutes late.
-Oh.

We're supposed to meet
the Hendersons for c*ck.

-Oh.
-Dad, why don't you just say so?

Me better go see
a nice, air-conditioned movie.

-ANGELA: Oh.
-Have fun, guys.

-[TONY CHUCKLES]
-See ya. Say hi

-to the Hendersons for me.
-Okay.

-ANGELA: Bubye.
-Bye-bye, sweetheart, bye-bye.

Uh, great! Now we gotta say hi
to the Hendersons.

Oh, you worry too much.
We're finally alone.

And if you're real good,

I'll tell you
what's for dessert.

[GIGGLES] There goes my diet.

ANGELA: Oh, Tony.

[GASPS] You have really
outdone yourself.

Oh, not really, not really.

It's just a little simple
dinner at home.

[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, what?
Nothing on the clapper?

Old man Jackson may have
binoculars, too, you know.

[BOTH LAUGH]

-Uh, champagne?
-Mais Oui.

-Uh, who's gonna stop us?
-[BOTH LAUGH]

-Mais Oui. Get it?
-[BOTH LAUGH]

Here you go. Oh.

-Uh.
-Thank you.

-[ANGELA CLEARS THROAT]
-Yes.

[CHUCKLES]

[SMACKS LIPS, SIGHS] To us.

-[TONY SIGHS]
-What was that noise?

[CHUCKLING]
I didn't hear anything.

-You sure?
-Uh, I'm positive.

But, look, if it'll make you
feel better,

I'll-- I'll just go--
I'll just go check

and make sure.
Hang on one second.

-Uh-huh, uh-huh.
-[CAR BRAKES SQUEALING]

Oh, it's-- it's just a cab.
[CHUCKLES] It's your mom!

Oh, my God! We've got to hide!

Go, go, go, go.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

-The food. The food. [MUMBLES]
-Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh! Oh!

Oh, there's no time.

-Oh!
-k*ll the music.

Oh, uh, Tony.

[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]

-[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]
-[ANGELA GROANS]

TONY: Give me-- give me that.

[OPENING THEME
FROM TAXI PLAYING]

I love that show.

Tony!

[PANTS] Let's go. Let's go.

-ANGELA: I'll get the door.
-Oh, Angela, duck, duck.

Angela, duck!
No, Angela, get the duck.

Oh!

Angela, this way.
This way! This way!

Angela, get-- Will you hurry up?

[TONY SHUSHES]

Okay, just put the things down
over there.

All right, fine.

Here you go, my good man.
This is for you.

Fifty bucks!

I don't think I can change that.

Keep it. The money belongs
to my daughter.

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

Won't she be mad?

Oh, not nearly as mad
as she's going to be

when she finds out I didn't go
to the stupid banquet.

-[SCOFFS]
-DRIVER: Oh.

Thank you.

-DRIVER: Thanks a bunch, lady.
-Yeah.

-[TONY SHUSHES]
-[ANGELA PANTING]

Great. Great.
She's in the kitchen.

-Okay. What do you wanna do?
-k*ll her!

No, no, no. Wait, wait, come on.
We need a plan.

-Come on. We need a plan.
-Okay. I've got a plan.

-Let's get out of here.
-Ooh! Good plan. Good plan.

JONATHAN: Don't worry,
nobody's home!

Oh! New plan. New plan.

Oh, Tony, the duck, the duck!

-Hike!
-[ANGELA GRUNTS]

-Okay, are you sure?
-Positive.

My grandmother said
everybody's gonna be out.

We've got the place
to ourselves.

Oh! Sneaking a girl
into the house.

Why, that little--

Angela, technically,
that's what I'm doing too.

-Although not very well.
-Oh, yeah.

Come on. I'll show you
the hockey puck that did this.

Luckily, I was able
to deflect it off my head

into the goal.

-Why, that little liar!
-I wonder where he gets it.

Tony, this is ridiculous.

Two adults sneaking around
their own house,

why don't we just tell them
the truth.

Oh, now may not be
the right time.

-Your lipstick's
all smeared here.
-Yeah.

-You fix this.
-Your shirt's all wrinkled.

-Oh.
-[BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY]

That's much better.

-Tony...
-Yes?

...we have got to get
out of here.

Yes, we do.
We got to find someplace

where we can be alone, Angela.

Some place where we don't have
to sit on a hoover.

Oh.

I think I just found
that drapery attachment.

-Where can we go?
-Any place but here. Come on.

BELLHOP: Right this way.

Best room in the house,
Mr. Gladstone.

Just call me Irving.

Here's your bathroom,
your cable TV,

wet bar
and stuffed refrigerator,

and your luggage, sir.

See, uh, the-- the reason
that we don't have any luggage

is, uh, that we were, you know,

we're just looking for a place
to cool off.

We were driving around,
and we finally ended up here.

Yeah, we-- we must have
passed this place

a million times
and always wondered

what the rooms were like.
So, we figured why not drop



-Nice, nice. [CHUCKLES]
-Real nice.

Yeah, we should have--
we should have
stopped, uh, long time ago.

I'm sorry
but the air conditioning

isn't working.
If you want a cooler room,

we can go back
to the front desk--

-No!
-No!

No, uh, no, check--
checking in once

was, uh, stressful enough.

His mother ran off
with a concierge.

Would you like a maid to come in
and turn down your bed?

Oh, no, no, no,
uh, no, no, there won't be

any need for that, uh,
don't you agree, Angelita?

-[TONY CHUCKLING]
-A-- absolutely, Irv.

-We are night people.
-Yeah, we-- we drink

so much cola and coffee, we'll--
we'll probably be up all night

talking and laughing
and going to the bathroom.

[LAUGHS]

Well, would you like me
to fill your ice bucket?

No! No, uh, no, uh,
no ice, uh.

I-- I can't have it.
I can't have it.

His grandfather died
on the Titanic.

Hey, thank you.
Thank you very much.

Thank you.

-Well...
-[ANGELA CHUCKLES]

-Here we are.
-Yes.

Here we are... in a hotel.

All alone.

Finally. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, did-- did--
did you-- did you want ice?

Because maybe I shouldn't have
answered for the two of us.

You know what I mean.
If you want ice,

I'll take the bucket
and go down.

-No--
-It must-- The machine must be

-down-- down the--
-Tony, Tony,

I don't-- I don't want ice,

and there's no reason for us
to be so nervous, right?

Right, right. I mean...
we're adults. [CHUCKLES]

Right. And if we want to go
to a hotel,

-we can go to a hotel.
-Yeah.

I mean, to, uh, to cool off
or-- or to talk

or to, uh...

check out the view.

[CHUCKLES] Absolutely.

-[TONY SIGHS]
-Oh, my, really is beautiful.

-Yes. Yes, it is.
-Yeah. Look at the way

the moonlight's dancing
on the water,

shining as if it's just for us.

Yeah.

Do you want to kiss?

-Uh-huh.
-[CHUCKLES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Oh, now what? Who is it?

REPAIRMAN:
Air conditioning repairman.

-Go away.
-REPAIRMAN: Okay.

The only thing
is I gotta work on.

If I don't do this job now,
my boss will get mad.

Unless you write him a note.
His name is George Tully.

That's T-U-L-L-Y.

Tony, let him in.
It going to be a lot faster.

-And that's George, G-E-O-R-G-E.
-R-G-E.

-Get in here. [INDISTINCT]
-Sorry to bother you, folks.

I'll be outta here in a jiffy.
[CHUCKLES]

-[GROANS]
-What-- what happened?

-Are you all right?
-Oh, that's the first thing

they teach you in tech school
is never wear

a claw hammer in front.

I just graduated
from Air Conditioning

and Heating Academy.
I majored in Heating.

I can't hardly wait till winter.

Hope he fixes it by then.

-It's your thermostat.
-Well, uh, can-- can you fix it?

-In a jiffy.
-In a jiffy.

-That's my jiffy! In a jiffy.
-Oh, that's great.

-[LAUGHS]
-Uh, any of you read Korean?

That's it. Out! Out!
[INDISTINCT]

-What about the unit?
-You want to fix the unit?

Want to fix the unit? [GRUNTS]
Fix the unit!

-Tony. [GASPS]
-[GRUNTS]

Here. Here's your unit!

-Oh!
-And fix it in a whole jiffy.

-Okay.
-And say hi to George.

All right.

Geez Louise! I mean, what else
is gonna happen tonight?

-Tony, calm down.
-How can I calm down?

It's just one thing
after another.

I mean-- I mean the whole--
the whole mood is ruined.

It's destroyed, Angela,
it's destroyed.

And I can't get it back.

[TONY MOANS]

I could be wrong.

-You are so easy.
-[PANTS]

Oh. Mm.

-Mm.
-What?

-What the--
-What is it?

I don't know. It's, like,
a-- a mosquito.

He's probably a hotel employee.

[CHUCKLES, MOANS]

Mm. Mm.

Where-- where are all
these things coming from?

Probably from the hole
someone made in the wall.

[GRUMBLES]

-Don't move. Don't move.
-You either.

-Oh!
-Oh! [GRUNTS]

That's it.
I think it's time to check out.

-I'm ready when you are.
-I'll get the luggage.

[SIGHS] Well...

[SIGHS] This is better.
At least it's quiet.

[CHUCKLES] Really.
This has been some evening.

Yeah, and it's not over yet.

The earth could still open up
and swallow us.

It really does seem like
somebody's trying

-to tell us something.
-[SCOFFS] Yeah, like...

[SCOFFS] ...maybe this
isn't meant to happen.

Yeah. Ever?

Oh, no, not ever.
Just-- just maybe not tonight.

I agree.

When?

I don't know.

Probably when-- when the time
is right, uh,

we'll know it.
Is-- is-- is that crazy?

Well, a little,
but you're probably right.

We shouldn't try to force this.

Yeah. I mean, I-- I think
we should just, um,

you know, let this happen
in its...

[SIGHS] ...in its own time
and pace.

ANGELA: Hmm.

Absolutely.

We should just let everything
evolve naturally.

[CHUCKLES]

I mean, uh, after all,
even a fine wine...

needs to be aged
before it's uncorked.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Patience is the key.

I'm ready to be uncorked,
Angela.

[TONY MOANS]

Angela,

Angela, I feel-- I feel
the earth moving beneath us.

Tony. Tony,
it's not the earth. It's us.

-[TONY SCREAMS] Hit the brakes!
-It's us!

-ANGELA: Tony!
-TONY: Hit the brakes!

-ANGELA: Hit the brakes!
-[TONY SCREAMING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Since no other vehicle
was involved,

there's no need
to file an accident report.

Oh, good, good.
Thank you, officer,

because you know,
we-- we'd like to keep this

between us, you know.
[CHUCKLES]

-SAM: Dad!
-MONA: Angela!

So, I guess
I shouldn't have called them.

-Oh, look at the jaguar.
-Oh, my...

We are all-- we're fine.
We're fine.

We're just a little wet.

Yes. There's, uh,
nothing to worry about,

nothing to discuss.
Let's go home.

-Hold it, flipper.
-[TONY SIGHS]

What are you two
doing together?

You're supposed to be
at The Sherry-Netherland

with your friend Louisa.

And you're supposed to be
writing some big term paper.

No, they are not.
They're both supposed to be

at the potluck charity dinner
with the Hendersons.

Actually, you're all right.

You see what happened was
my friend Louisa,

who happens to be
really good friends

with the Hendersons,
decided to come

to the potluck dinner with us.

It really worked out great
for Tony

because the Hendersons
and Louisa happen to be experts

-on the Peloponnesian w*r--
-Oh, Angela! Please!

P-- Just give it up, please.
Give it up. Look,

we-- we needed some time alone,
and-- and, so,

we made up stories.
It was a mistake.

The end. Let's go home, please.

Yeah, but how did the car
get in the lake?

[CHUCKLES] You know...
something like this

happened to friends
of mine once.

But that was only
because they were in the car

making out and then her foot
slipped, and--

Oh, my God!

Nothing happened.

Well, get back in that car
until it does.

Mother, look,
this is not some seedy,

-smarmy thing going on here.
-Oh, then what is going on here?

Yes. You two have been
acting very strange

-all day.
-Yeah.

Well, Angela, we should just
tell them the truth.

[SIGHS]

I love Angela.

Yeah?

No, no, no.
You don't understand.

Angela and I are in love.

Oh, my God!

-Really?
-Yeah.

-Oh!
-Oh, guys, that's great.

Yeah. It's about time.

-Oh! I'm so happy for you.
-[TONY CHUCKLES]

Oh, I should have known!
The way you were glowing.

-[TONY CHUCKLES]
-Was I?

No. Dad.

What I don't understand was
what is all the sneaking around
about and all the lies?

Well, we-- we just, uh,
you know, we needed

-some time to adjust.
-Right. And we thought

that would take
some of the pressure off us,

-if we kept it private.
-Yeah. I mean, you know,

who-- who wants to live
under a microscope?

LAURIE: I found them.
Here they are.

Action News reporter Laurie Lee
live on the scene

at Pequot Lake,
where the victims of tonight's

freak car accident just emerged
from their car.

And you are?

[SIGHS]

Irving Gladstone.

TONY: Who's the Boss
will be back in a moment.

Stick around.

See, Jonathan, a lot of times,
these problems can be

caused by diet.

But they can also be caused
by stress,

the, kind of, stress you get
from sneaking girls around

and lying.

But, look, as you get older,

you learn to cope
with these pressures,

and I'm telling you,
you-- you won't have these

complexion problems any longer.

[CHUCKLES] Great. Thanks, Tony.

Anytime, buddy. Anytime.

[♪♪♪]