07x25 - The Road to Washington: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

CHAPPY: Dear diary, boy,
are we in a heap of trouble.

It started last week

when my friend
Tony Micelli was enlisted

to fight medicare cutbacks.

Me in Washington?

You know a young man
like you representing us

would really shake
Washington up.

CHAPPY: Tony was so nervous
about his speech to congress

he lost a whole night's sleep.

Make that two nights' sleep.

Tony Micelli, get in this bed!

CHAPPY: Unfortunately,
it made him kind of ornery.

The point is, you've all become
a bunch of selfish fat cats

who have lost touch
with the people.

CHAPPY: And a little looney.

And, uh--
[STAMMERS LIKE PORKY PIG]

Th-- That's all folks.

CHAPPY: And he hasn't
woke up since.

Shouldn't we wake dad?

He's been out for 18 hours.

If I slept that long, they'd be
checking me for my vital signs.

Billy, turn off the television
and come have breakfast.

But I want to watch Tony.

Honey, you can't.
He's still sleeping.

No he's not.
He's tap dancing on TV.

ALL: What?

[GASPS]

No, Tony, Tony.

And there I am.

Oh, my lord. My fly's open.

Oh, morning, everybody.
[CHUCKLES]

Who's the clod
with the two left feet, eh?

Wait a minute.
What am I doing on TV?

It's C-Span.
They cover congress.

And the occasional
hoofing buffoon.

There's one more thing
I have to say.

Angela and I did not sleep
together last night.

Please, could you change that?

It was bad enough
the first time.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Ángela y yo no dormimos
juntos anoche!

Boy, when I mess up,
I really do it big, huh?

First, I make a fool of myself

and worst of all I let down
all the senior citizens.

I thought you were great, Tony.

Really? Well, thank you, Billy.

I didn't know
you could speak Spanish.

-Jonathan.
-I got him.

-[TELEPHONE RINGING]
-I got it.

Hello. Yes, it is.
May I ask who's calling?

Dad! It's Senator Weber.

I don't wanna talk to that guy.

He's just gonna chew me out
about my speech.

-What do I say?
-Say anything.

He, uh-- He went to France.

Yeah, I could take a message.

You thought his
speech was terrific,

that he was a beacon
in the night?

A giant among men?

Give me-- Give me that.
Give me that.

Bonjour.

Beacon speakin'.

That's very nice
of you to say, senator.

I think you got the wrong guy--
Really?

Well, thank you, Sir.

Yes, Sir. I'll be here, Sir.

Yes, Sir. Thank you.
Bye-bye, sir.

His aide's on the way up.

They want me to help lobby
against the medicare cuts.

They want you? Are you sure
they're on our side?

Tony, I think you should work
with the senator.

Oh, come on, Angela,

I'll probably just do more harm
than good.

-Tony, your country needs you.
-[KNOCK AT DOOR]

-Oh, please.
-Come on.

My country needs me.

Hello. I'm Christine Morrison.
I'm from Senator Weber's office.

And I hope we can persuade you
to work with us.

♪ My country, tis of thee ♪

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for livin' ♪

♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is
Up to you, my friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life
A brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

Oh, come in, please.
Come in, come in.

Christine, this is Angela.

BOTH: Hello.

And that's her mother Mona,
and that's my daughter Samantha.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, and this here
is Chappy.

I'm a Scorpio.

Really?

Mr. Micelli, your speech
touched a lot of people,

including me.
You really made an impression.

So did his face
when it hit the floor.

Mother, Mother.
Please, won't you sit down?

Overnight, you have become
the medicare media darling.

You're kidding.

My grandmother knitted you this.

Oh. Oh, it's--

It's very nice.
I'll, uh, I'll wear it proudly.

Actually,
it's a toilet paper cover.

Oh. Oh, well, good, good,

because you know,
if there's one thing I hate,

it's cold toilet paper.

Tony, we would love
to have you on our team.

There's a strategy
luncheon today.

Congressmen, lobbyists,
and hopefully, you.

Oh, me at a power lunch?

I wouldn't know what to say.
You know,

I'm just an ordinary
housekeeper from Connecticut.

I would hardly call you
ordinary.

"A junior at Ridgemont College,

student teacher,
volunteer fireman,

played for the St. Louis
Cardinals for two seasons,

minus two weeks

for a pulled groin muscle,
May '73."

Hey, you know,
that's all healed now.

Look, it works good.

Face it, Tony.
You have natural charisma.

Am I right?

Uh, oh, well, yeah.

See? Now,
I have a limo downstairs,

and I can brief you
on the way.

Wow, a limo? Really?

Oh, but I can't, I can't
because I promised Angela

and the kids, I'd take them
to the Smithsonian.

Well, I guess it's just you
and me, Christine.

Did I mention I'm an Aquarius?

Tony, you have to go.
You have to.

-It's why we came here.
-You think so? Really?

Dad, it's a chance
of a lifetime.

-Do it.
-Okay, hey, I'll do it,

-I'll do it.
-Great. Shall we?

After you, after you.

And Angela, look I'll meet you
at the Smithsonian at 2:00,

-Right by Fonzie's jacket.
-Okay. [CHUCKLES]

Okay, okay. Good, good.
Oh, a limo,

you know what I like best
about a limo?

-What?
-I don't know.
I never been in one.

-Bye-bye. Bye, Sam.
-SAM: Bye, Dad.

Bye-bye.

-Oh, that museum was huge.
-I feel like I walked 400 miles.

You think we're in bad shape?

Those dinosaurs were alive
when they started the tour.

Here give me, I'll take him.

All right, careful. He's sticky.

Okay, I'll hose him down.

-Oh, good. Got it?
-Yeah.

Oh, my beautiful new blouse.

I broke my heel.

The end of a perfect day.

Really-- Oh,
are there any messages?

No, I don't see
the light flashing.

That's not like
Tony not to call.

I hope he's doing okay.

Oh, Chrissy.
You're such a nut.

Well, looks like he's doing okay
to me.

Tony, where were you?

Oh, I'm sorry, Angela. But I was
such a hit at the lunch

that they invited me
to this private club.

[GASPS] He was fabulous.

Guess who I got to meet?
General Colin Powell.

And guess what he called me?
Tony.

-Oh, imagine that.
-Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Those are new clothes,
aren't they?

Yes. I took Tony shopping
for a power outfit.

Oh, it was incredible, Angela.

It was a whirlwind
of jackets, ties, and shirts.

I felt like Pretty Woman.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Oh, that's probably the office

confirming our meeting
for tomorrow.

Busy, busy, busy.

Yuppie, yuppie, yuppie.

Tony, you're-- You're meeting
with Christine again tomorrow?

Oh, yeah. She invited me
to this very important meeting.

It's about the medicare culture,
and the press is gonna be there.

And guess who I may get to meet?

Diane Sawyer.

You know I love the way
her eyes twinkle when she says,

Sununu.

Oh, fine, I'll-- I'll just take
the kids sight-seeing
again myself.

Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait.

I forgot, Angela, I'm sorry.

Look, look, let me make it
up to you, huh

how about the night we go
for a drive

and we take a look
at the monuments all lit up, eh?

Tonight? Oh, thanks, Tony,

but you know, we've had kind
of a rough day

and maybe
we should just stay in.

Are you sure?

Oh, I'm positive, I wanna turn
in early, thanks anyway.

Okay. Hey, Christine?

We can go out tonight,
after all.

Christine invited me

to meet the senate
armed services committee.

About what?
Drafting the elderly?

-[BOTH LAUGH]
-Oh, Angela.

My federally,
naive little person.

See, see, that's the way
this town works, Angela.

See one hand washes the other.

See, so if senator Weber helps
the armed services committee

then they help him,

you see what I'm doing is
some very important work.

Tony, they approved
your helicopter ride.

Oh, boy! A chopper!

-You get that? A chopper.
-ANGELA: That's funny.

Hey, wait a minute.
I better go mousse my hair.

You know how I look
when I get out of a convertible.

I'll be back.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

I have to tell you.
Tony is a breath of fresh air.

Yes, isn't he?

You don't meet a lot of people
like him up on The Hill.

Everyone's so jaded,

jumping from one glamorous
affair to another.

You're so lucky you don't have
to go through that.

Oh-- [LAUGHS]

Well, you know,
it's very hard to be glamorous
with kids around.

You know. [GASPS]

Very hard.
Oh, you should have seen me

last year, you see, I looked
very nice. Really, I did.

I've always wanted
to have a family,

but with my career,
there's no way.

Not everyone
can handle having both,

but I have a family
and a big ad agency in New York.

Works out great.

Well, I'm sure
I could handle that, too,

if I had a guy like Tony.

Hey, let's get that bird
in the air.

Oh, and if Senator Fassell
happens to call,

here's the number
for my portable phone.

-Thank you.
-Hey, Angela, Angela, look.

I'll try to get the pilot
to buzz the hotel. Okay?

Go by the window.
Go by the window.

Oh, okay, yes.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Uh, Angela,
who are you calling?

I'm sending a hundred pizzas
to her purse.

This is only one of three
White House kitchens,

and it's not unusual
to find President Bush himself

grabbing an occasional snack
from the refrigerator.

Look. It's him.
It's President Bush.

Oh, no way.
I have to get a picture.

Dad.

Hey, guys. What do you say?
Small world, huh?

Hey, come on in.
Make yourselves at home.

It's okay, Leo.
They're with me.

-Come on in.
-This is so neat.

Tony, what are you doing
in the presidential kitchen?

Well, Christine
had a great idea.

You know, I mean,
I'm a housekeeper, right?

So, what better place
for a photo sh**t

than the presidential kitchen?

I'm hungry.

You are, are you?
Well, that's good,

because right over there
in that other freezer

are some terrific pudding pops.

Go ahead, go have some.
Quayle won't mind.

Tony, you're having your picture
taken with President Bush?

Close. Millie.

The President's dog?
Yeah, that's right,

that's right.
Millie will get me publicity,

and when Tony Micelli
gets publicity

medicare cuts gets publicity.

Watch this great trick
I taught her. You ready?

You ready, guys?
Millie, Millie.

-Democrat.
-[GROWLS]

Good girl, good girl.

Oh, hi.
Look who's here.

Invited the family,
did you?

No, actually,
we were on the tour,

and we'd be happy
to get out of your way.

Huh, well, let me put
my apron on.

Here, let me help you with that.

Oh, sure.

-Too tight?
-No, Siree.

Where are the knives?
I'll raise his voice an octave.

Top drawer on the left side.

At least that's
where Kennedy kept them.

Uh, look.

Uh, Tony, um, we're gonna go
back and catch up with the tour.

-Bye, Dad.
-Okay, guys, see you later.

We'll see you back at the hotel
for dinner.

Remember, we've got dinner

right after that interview
tonight?

-Oh, that's right. That's right.
-[TELEPHONE RINGS]

-Be right back.
-Okay.

What dinner?
What interview?

Christine got me booked
on The Capitol Group.

-Oh, the TV show.
-Yeah, yeah.

And then, there's this big
dinner afterwards.

And guess who I may finally
get to meet?

Diane Sawyer. [CHUCKLES]

Sununu, Sununu.

Well, that's great, Tony.

I guess, you'll finally have
an opportunity

to discuss the medicare cutbacks
on the TV show.

Yes, yes, definitely,
definitely.

Although, you know, they want me
to talk about myself,

you know, growing up
in Brooklyn, playing pro ball.

Hey, you know what I'll do
I'll tell them that story

about when the guys
put my supporter in the freezer.

I still get chills.

I don't believe it.

That's because
you're not a guy, Angela.

It's cold.

You've completely forgotten
why you have come here.

You've adopted the same
fat cat mentality

that you were railing against
in Congress.

That's ridiculous, Angela.

I still have the values
of a common man.

Oh, pate, my fave.

Oh, excuse me.
What was I thinking?

"Pate, my fave,"
photo shoots,

fancy dinners, riding around
in Christine's limos,

sounds pretty common to me.

So that's what this is
all about, huh?

You just can't stand the fact

that I'm spending
all my time with her.

Oh, please, Tony, I don't trust
her. She's a user.

She's manipulative.
I don't like her.

-And there's all there is to it.
-[LAUGHS]

Oh, oh, well,
if you don't believe me,

you don't believe me,
you're nothing but--

-Democrat!
-No,

no! Millie, no!
I'm a Republican!

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

-Angela, you're not ready.
-Ah.

I just think I'm going
to stay in.

I have a little something
planned for dinner.

-Oh, Angela, Angela.
-What?

Oh, yes, this is a good way

to lure Tony away
from Christine--

Gain 150 pounds.

I'm hungry. Okay?

Angela, you are regressing.

You have not pigged out
like this since your divorce.

-I wasn't that bad.
-You ate your settlement.

Angela, Angela, Angela,

Food is not the answer.

Believe me, when Matt and I
broke up, I tried eating.

And oh sure, it made me
feel better for a little while,

but eventually I had a deal
with the fact

that I'd never see him again.

You want those fries?

Come here.

Come here, Miss tons-of-fun.

Sit down.

Angela, let me be blunt.

This Christine is young,
gorgeous, sexy, and smart.

I feel so much better.
You can go now.

Angela, if you don't want
to lose Tony,

-you better do something.
-Oh, please.

This is not the first time
some pretty has flirted with him

and he always comes back.

And what are you going to do
if one day he doesn't come back?

Angela, when was the last time
you told Tony

how you feel about him?

I don't have to tell him.
He knows.

Wrong. You do have to tell him,

and then you have to show him.

And after that,

you have to tell him
what you just showed him.

Come on, let's face it, dear.

Men are stupid.

[MUMBLES IN AGREEMENT]

Yeah, and who needs them?

All right, that's it. I'm out
of here. Come on, come on, Sam

-let's go.
-Okay, but--

Instead of going dancing, maybe
we should go to a restaurant.

A buffet. All you can eat.

Get out. Out now.

Oh, thank you.

How you doing, Tony?
Nervous?

No, no. You kidding? I'm--

Whoa. Wow. Nice threads.

And very few of them.
[CHUCKLES]

It's just my regulation
party uniform.

Oh, yeah? Well, gee.
Where do you hang the canteen?

Mr. Micelli, may I borrow
your face for a minute?

Oh, yeah, sure, sweetheart,
but hey, listen,

go easy on that dark blush.

I've oft-times been told
I'm an autumn person.

Yeah. I see the leaves
are starting to turn.

Everybody's a comedian.

Okay, here are some
clever ad libs

the staff wrote up
for the interview.

Oh, okay, good. Good.
Let me see here.

Oh. Oh, that's good. I'm funny.
I'm funny. That's good.

Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute, Tony Micelli

would never say
something like this.

Get this back to the staff,
tell them to punch it up.

and tell them, remember
common man, common man.

Oh, sweetheart, one second.
Think you could pluck

my eyebrows right in here,
please?

Right there, yeah.

Let's see what else we got.
Aha!

Oh, that's good. [LAUGHS]
That's real good.

Oh, wait a minute.

Now, this sounds like
I'm for the cuts.

Well... [LAUGHS] ...you are.

What? [SCREAMS]

Would you mind leaving us alone
for just a minute?

Yes. And could you leave
my eyebrow?

No. Give me it. Please!

Christine, what's going on here?

Senator Weber owes

another very powerful
senator a favor,

so we're repaying that favor
by changing our vote.

What do you mean,
we're going to flip-flop

-just like that?
-That's politics.

Well-- Well, that stinks.

I mean, don't you care

about all those senior citizens
out there?

Of course,

but we'll find another way
to help them,

if you just play the game.

Remember, one hand
washes the other.

Yeah, well, at least
when my hands wash each other,

they're clean.

Tony, if you don't go along
with this

you'll be throwing it all away--
the limousines.

-[EXHALES] I don't care.
-The helicopter rides.

-Big deal.
-Diane Sawyer.

No Diane Sawyer?

Tony, I like you,

and I think
we work great together...

...and I'm not just
talking professionally.

Oh, and, uh,

I guess I'd be-- I'd be
giving that up too, huh?

Well, I'm-- I'm sorry,
Christine.

Me, too.

Tony, you're off the show.

[LAUGHS]

Let me guess.

-You're here on a tour?
-No.

I'm here to see Tony.

I've got a news flash for you,
Christine.

I know you're after him.

You're not going to get him.

Tony and I are good together,
And nobody, especially you,

is going to get in the way.

Do I make myself
perfectly clear?

You can have him.

I just told him I'm never
going to see him again.

Oh. Well...

We changed our vote,
and he wouldn't.

So I had to play hardball.

I see.

-What are you doing?
-Playing hardball.

-[WATER SPLASHES]
-Ah!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

It's for you.

Hi.

Hi, Angela.

It's all over.

I heard.
You must be pretty upset.

-It shows, huh?
-Yes.

Your mascara's running.

You were right.
I let it get to my head.

You tried to warn me...

...but I was seduced
by the glamor...

-...the power, the limos.
-The legs.

I didn't even notice.

-She has knobby knees.
-No, she does--

I'm sorry you're not gonna get
to won't be on the TV show.

Hey, that's life in Washington,
you know,

but I'll tell you something,

I'm not gonna stop fighting
them medicare cuts.

I'm gonna write a letter
to every one of them senators.

That's the Tony
I didn't sleep with.

Come on, Angela,
let's get out of here.

I've had my fill of The Hill.

-Uh, Tony?
-Yeah?

Just one thing.

I know. I know,
too much blush. I look cheap.

No. No. Um...

You-- You know how I feel
about you,

don't you?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.

You know. How you feel,
you know. Yeah. Sure.

How do you feel?

Well... I like you.

That's good, Angela,
because I like you, too.

Oh, good.

Well, I just figured
I hadn't told you in a while.

Okay. Good.

What was, uh--
What was that for?

Well, I told you,
and now I'm showing you.

Oh. Oh, I get it.

It's like that game,
show and tell.

A game.

That's good, you know,
'cause, I like that game. Yeah.

Me, too.

Maybe we should
play it more often.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]