05x02 - Back in Trouble Again

[bunniefuu]

Come on, baby. It's time to get up.

Gina. Huh?

What did you do that for, baby?

What?

Baby, I was right in the middle of this dream.

It was the b*mb.

Well, was I in this dream?

Yup. You was my waitress.

Yup, and you were butt naked...

With press-on nails.

What?

Yes, you was, baby, and you were jingling, baby.

Oh-h*-h*-h*, you were jingling.

Nice, I'm talking about--

It was really nice.

Martin, you are so nasty.

Yeah, that I am.

That I am.

Whoa, martin.

Baby, your dream girl's got to get to work.

Now let's go. Let me go.

Baby, you ain't got to go nowhere. Work going to be there.

Martin.

What?

Martin.

What?

What did you say your order was, mr. Payne?

[Telephone rings]

Baby, don't answer it.

Baby, what if it's important?

There ain't nothing more important

Than what we about to do right now, gina.

[Ring]

Oh, baby.

I got to get it.

Gina, I'm trying to give it to you, baby!

Hello.

Uh, yes. It's my boss.

Re-really?

Really?

Wow, that's great!

Uh-huh.

Ok, thank you. No. I'll see you in a minute.

Ok, bye-bye.

Martin. What?

Mr. Whitaker just told me that I have been nominated for an advee.

It's like an academy award to the advertising industry.

What?

Yes. Your woman.

Baby, I am so proud of you.

Girl, now let's get back to that loving, huh?

Baby, I got to tell pam.

Oh, gina, pam?

Oh, baby, you just done turned my dream into a nightmare.

Captwhwhng made possible by warner bros.

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeawhazzup!♪

♪ I'm the man ♪

Tin ♪♪

To wear to the awards dinner tonight?

Let me see.

Hell, yeah, it's stank,

But if the judges haven't made up their minds,

I'm sure that stank dress will do it for them.

I don't know, pam.

Martin'll trip on this one.

Ah, please.

Ah, who cares what he thinks?

Just go for it, and besides,

He needs a stepladder to see your cleavage anyway.

Baby, we won. We won, baby.

You won? You won?

Don't tell me, you won the limbo contest,

'Cause you was the only one

That could fit under the one-inch bar, right?

Ha. Watch it, baby. Should have known it was you, pam.

Baby, when wild dogs foam at the mouth,

That generally mean they got rabies.

See the spackle right around her mouth?

You better back up.

Martin--martin and pam, please!

You started with him.

I did not start.

Pam, anyway, martin, tommy, and cole

Are in a -on- basketball tournament.

I'm so excited.

You ain't got to act like that, all right?

You ain't got to act like that.

That's right. This afternoon,

We're going to be in -on- competition,

And we playing this afternoon,

And, pam, we want you on the bench with us.

And why is that, shorty pippen?

So we can sit on your furry coat and not get splinters.

You know what? I don't have to take this.

Get out of my way.

Gina, I'll check you tonight.

Later, pam.

Wait, pam. Don't go yet.

What?

Well, you want to leave without saying bye.

Now you know I like to kick you out my damn self. Hold on.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Baby, you should have seen me on the court today.

I'm telling you, you should have seen me.

Baby, they was throwing the ball and everything.

I had the ball. I was doing, like, um, fakes,

You know, all up in the air like that.

Then I was like, ooh,

Under, like, you know how jordan do the scoop shot sometimes?

Baby, it was times, right, that didn't even know I had the ball.

You know what I mean? Then just like bowww.

Do you know?

That's my baby jordan right there.

I like that.

And you know what's so smooth?

That we both going to be getting trophies tonight.

No. Wait a minute now. I have not won yet.

Martin, which one do you think I should wear tonight,

The armani or the donna karan?

Oh, I don't know, baby.

I--i like you in my favorite.

Oh, really, what's that?

Butt bald naked!

You have been so nasty lately.

Come down here, 'cause I want to show you something.

Right. Oh, show me.

Show me.

I got...

Ooh, baby, baby, that was what I call olympic-style love.

I mean, we need to do that floor exercise more often.

Yeah, yeah, baby.

For that last move, you deserve the gold.

Let me get my butt out of here.

I'm going to be late for my hair appointment.

I got to take a shower.

Ayyy, ayyy!

Martin, what's wrong with you?

Nothing, baby.

I--i just had a little twinge.

That's all, a little twinge.

A little twinge?

Yeah, a little twinge.

Martin, the last time you had a little twinge,

You were in the bed for a week.

Oh, baby, uh, did I say twinge?

Yes.

All right, I meant tweak, all right?

I had a little tweak.

Ok, I'm back. I'm cool.

Twinge, tweak?

Martin, it doesn't--

Martin, if your back is acting up,

You don't need to be out on that basketball court.

Gina... What?

My back is fine, baby, ok,

And I ain't going to miss these finals for nothing.

And tonight is one of the biggest nights of my life, and I want you by my side.

Promise me you will not go play basketball, please.

Gina, it's the fi-- I got to be in the--

All right.

All right, I promise, gina.

I promise I won't be in the game.

I'll just watch the game, ok?

Thank you very much.

Love you. I'm going to take a shower.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What's up there, dawg?

Hey, you ready to win the championship, man?

You know I am, hakeem olaju-dome.

[Whispering] what you laughing at, cole? Keep it down.

Keep it down, 'cause I just told gina I wasn't playing in the game.

You ain't playing?

I'm playing, fool, I'm playing, ok?

I just told her I wasn't playing

'Cause she keeps sweating me about my back.

Oh, come on, man. Not your back again.

My back is all right, tommy, cole, all right?

I'm just going to put a little ice on it. I'll be straight, man.

Ok. You sure?

I'm sure, man.

Ok, ok, cool.

Cool, now check it out. I got the plan, b, I got the plan.

Now bust it.

We give all the brothers on the other team beepers, right?

Ok, and, uh, during the game I page them.

You with me so far?

They run to the phones.

We score all the points we want.

You know what I'm saying?

No, no, what we need to talk about is a strategy,

A real strategy, all right?

Because darcel and them ain't no joke, man.

Word up. Brother I'm guarding is '",

Just got out of prison for beating up his sunday-school teacher.

'"?

'".

So that means he's a little taller than tommy, then.

Ok, that--that could be a match-up problem.

Let me see the ball.

Did you get a last name on him?

Get a name, cole?

Beat down.

Beat down.

Brother's '", beat down.

'", Beat down.

Cool.

Well, then he's going to get a bird's-eye view of my -pointer.

Yeah. Lay it on him,

'Cause we in it to win it, dawg.

Yeah, yeah.

Ok, all right, listen up.

Remember, <span tts:fontstyle="italic">cole,</span> no stupid shots, ok?

No turnovers, and, guys, no women before the game.

All right, I'm down with that.

Gina: ooh, martin, this shower feels so good.

Baby, come back here.

Gina, gina, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Baby, watch your mouth.

We got company.

Hey, gina.

Hey, g.

Gina: oh, sorry. Hi, tommy. Hi, cole.

Hey, now remember,

No women,

No sex until after the game.

That's easy for y'all to say.

That's 'cause y'all are used to not getting none.

Actually, I mean, to tell you the truth,

I be feeling better after I get some.

I'm telling you, my game will be, like, on then.

Martin, no.

You promised, man. You promised.

All right, so I lied, man. Ok, get to stepping.

Scoopy and hoopy, step.

Man, I told you, I'll be feeling better.

I'm telling you, I know my jump shot be on

After I gets me a little bit. Baby!

Gina, we're going to be late.

Where's martin?

Well, as small as he is, he could be anywhere.

Whoo, now that was funny.

No, that was not funny, pam.

I am nervous enough as it is.

Girl, what if I actually win?

Well, just march right up there, grab your award,

And tell them you couldn't do it without me.

[Telephone rings]

Hello, martin?

Martin, where are you?

Mm-hmm.

All right, baby. We only have an hour to--

Ok, all right.

Just hurry, please. Bye.

What?

Cole's pacer broke down again.

We got to go meet him there.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

How's he going to get there,

On his earplane?

Girl, I am k*lling me.

You didn't think that was funny?

You know little man is always late, anyway.

I don't care that he's late. I'm just glad he's ok.

[Whispering] ok, psst, hey, martin.

The coast is clear. Come on, come on.

Be careful.

Careful.

All right, all right, all right.

Here we go.

Step, step.

All right, there you go, martin, all done.

All right, how do I look? Am I straight?

Nah, but, hey, the tie is fly.

The tie look good. Ok.

Martin, here are your shoes, man.

You need some help putting them on?

No. I think I got it.

You sure?

Look, man, look, you were in tears trying to put on your socks.

Tommy, now, I wasn't crying, ok, because I hurt my back.

I was crying 'cause we lost the game, man.

Oww, oww.

Ok, come on, sit down, man. This is crazy.

You can barely put your shoes on.

Look, we need to call gina and tell her you just can't make it.

Hey, now, look, I told gina I'm going to be there.

Now, I'm going to be there, tommy.

Cole, where's your damn chiropractor?

He's coming, martin. Be still.

Now hold still so I can tighten up your cucumber bun.

That's cummerbund, fool.

Aah!

Hey, hey, hey.

Yeah, I see I've come to the right place.

Who the hell are you,

Rolling up in my house unannounced?

Uh, martin, this is the chiropractor I was telling you about.

Dr. Bones johnson.

I work the bonies of all the homies.

Man, get him the hell out of here, cole.

Wait, wait, martin. Wait a minute.

Maybe you should give him a try.

Look, your back ain't going to get any worse, ok?

Tommy, I don't know, man.

Oh, don't worry about it.

You won't feel a thing.

Man, what the hell--ohh!

[Back cracks]

Now, how do you feel?

I'm about to put your a*s up into your eyebrows.

Hey.

Ohh!

Ohh!

Ohh!

There it is.

There it is.

All right, all right.

Oh, my back--my back popped back in place.

All right.

Oh, man, this feels good.

Told you he was good.

Cole, you about to get his a*s whupping.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby, what's happening?

How are you?

Look at you. You're beautiful.

Thank you. I'm glad you made it, martin.

Gina, I told you I would be here, baby. What, you doubt me?

Well, I thought since you were late,

You had gone on and played basketball and hurt yourself.

Gina, now you hurting me.

Baby, don't my word mean anything?

I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry.

Well, anyway, I'm here, right?

Yes.

Hey, I'm indestructible.

Just call me superman.

Superman?

Please.

You couldn't even fit in superboy's uniform.

Superman.

Oh, it's you, pam.

It's me.

I didn't recognize you without your feed bag.

You better step back from me.

Martin and pam, not now.

This is a very important day for me.

Gina, they want you over here for pictures.

Thank you.

You better shut up.

Shh. Hey, martin, I'll be right back.

Hey, martin.

Hey, mr. Whitaker. How you doing, man?

Man, I'm fine.

You know, we're all very proud of gina.

She's a great asset to our company.

Hey, you let me worry about my wife's assets, ok?

You just make sure she get a raise, man.

Yeah, yeah, that's funny, martin.

Anyway, good to see you, martin.

Oh--ohh.

Hey, baby, did you lose something?

Oh, no, baby. I'm just looking at my shoes

To make sure my bow tie was straight, that's all.

Let me see.

Oh, ooh.

No, it's fine.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Isn't this exciting?

Yeah, it is.

Excuse me, martin. Let me borrow gina for a moment.

Like her to meet a couple of people.

Could I just steal her for a moment?

Uh, you can have her for the whole night.

How you doing?

Ouch.

Yeah. One of them days.

You come here often?

Mm-mmm, martin.

You're sitting at the wrong table, honey.

We're sitting all the way over there.

Well, pam, not anymore, all right?

We're over here now,

So you tell gina and them to come over here,

'Cause I ain't moving no more tonight.

Ow, ow, ow.

Ow!

[Slow dance-music plays]

Oh, martin, you know this is my song, boy.

You got to come on. Let's go dance.

Oh, baby, you go ahead. I'm cool.

I'm just going to watch you dance, 'cause you dance so lovely.

I think everybody would agree.

No. Come on, martin. Stop playing.

Ow, ohh, aah!

<Span tts:fontstyle="italic">[i feel good</span>starts]

Oh, sookie-sookie.

Unh.

Hey.

Martin, is that the new dance?

Yeah.

Oh, look at this.

This is...

Go ahead, girl.

Whazzup?

This is better than the macarena.

Gina, your category is up next, girl.

I got my fingers crossed.

Girl, I think I stopped breathing.

And now the award for the best regional -second tv commercial.

The nominees are...

Art bogart for grandma jones beef jerky.

Gina payne, suck-it-up paper towels.

Gina! You know, I been friends for years.

She's my best friend. That's my friend.

We know, pam.

And, finally, ethan greenberg, yo mama's jumper cables.

And the winner...

Nervous time.

Gina payne for suck-it-up paper towels.

I won!

I won!

Oh, I didn't think I was going to win. I'm so unprepared.

Ok. Thank you, thank you so much.

First of all, I would like to thank my boss mr. Whitaker,

For trusting in me with the suck-it-up account. Thank you, mr. Whitaker.

Thank you, and--and, uh,

Also, for her help, my coworker and friend pamela james.

That's me!

That--that's me!

Can I get the spotlight over here, please?

You know, I've dedicated a lot of my life--

Thank you!

Thank--thank you! All right, pam!

All right, all right.

Aah!

And lastly, I want to give a special thanks

To the man who has given me so much love and support--

My husband martin.

Martin, stand up, baby.

Come on over here and take a bow with me, please.

That's all right, baby. You know how shy I am.

Go on, martin. Go on up there. Get your butt up there.

Aah!

Ah, excuse me, lady.

Oh, my bad.

You got nominated earlier.

How you doing?

Excuse me. I didn't mean to bother you.

Just looking for a contact lens.

Congratulations, baby.

Oh, martin.

Well, maybe next time you would listen to me, superman.

All right, well, look, gina,

You ain't got to say all that.

All right, my back is fine now.

Good.

Ain't nothing wrong with my back.

Good.

You want to celebrate?

Do you want to celebrate?

Oh, no. No celebrating for you,

And, martin, just so we don't get tempted,

You're going to be sleeping out here tonight

Till your back gets better.

Aw, gina!

Martin, I'm doing this for your own good.

Baby, it's going-- my back fine now, gina.

Maybe, but, martin, just to make sure,

I say we wait on...

Let's say, a couple of weeks.

Good night!

Oh, gina, but I ain't going to do it

As smooth as I'm going to do it now.

Gina, I'm in my prime.

Oh, baby--ouch.

What, martin? Did you say something?

No. I said I'm chillin', baby.

Everything just fine. Ow, ow, ow.

I thought I was in my prime--ow.

I thought I was...

Gina, baby, what, what?

You didn't hear the phone?

The phone didn't ring?

Oh. Never mind.

Didn't nobody ring the phone?

We can't hear the phone.

[Telephone rings]

We can't hear it.

[Ring]

[Ring]

Gina, don't answer it.

Wait, my hair.