Welcome home, mrs. Payne.
Oh, baby, I love the way that sounds.
Ooh. Mmm.
Mmm!
All right, all right.
Aren't you supposed to carry me over the threshold?
Baby, I carried the suitcase up the stairs.
You should be carryingme.
You should be carrying me over the threshold.
What's the matter, martin, you can't hang?
As a matter of fact, I can't, gina.
I don't know what happens after y'all ladies get married.
I think y'all throw it better or something.
In your off time, give you something to think about.
You damn sure gave me something to think about.
Hey, baby.
Check the machine and see if my mama called.
♪ See if my mama call ♪♪
[Answering machine beeps]
That apple-headed hussy...
Stole my baby-aby.
When I see your big face,
I'm going to get...
I--
[Turns machine off]
Whoa, baby.
Mama sounded a little better than I thought.
I was expecting to hear g*nshots. Pow, pow!
Me, too, martin.
There's the gift she brought us.
We might as well let the b*mb squad open that.
Oh, baby.
Oh, baby,
I got our whole first night together
All planned out.
First, we'll open up all our wedding gifts.
Then we'll write our thank-you notes, our apologies--
Sorry. Sorry, baby, sorry.
What are you sorry about?
I'd told tommy and cole
I was coming down to the pool hall,
Play a little pool with them.
On our first night home,
You're going to go play pool with your boys?
Why do you think we cut the honeymoon early?
Martin...
You told me you had business to take care of.
I do have business to take care of.
I got to get to the pool hall
And open up a can of whup-a*s on tommy and cole.
I really think we're starting off on the wrong foot.
Marriage is supposed to be about communication,
Compromise, you know?
I am compromising.
I was supposed to be there half an hour ago.
You're holding me up!
All right, fine, martin.
Thank you.
If you have to go, can you be home by
Girl, I'll be home by :.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Aren't you forgetting something?
You want me to place the luscious on you
The way I want you
To place the luscious on me?
Ha ha ha!
Gina, what the hell is this?
Isn't it cute? It's a little beeper.
What you trying to do,
Put an electronic leash on me?
Next, what you want, a curfew?
Martin, please, it is only for emergencies,
O.k.?
And besides, this way, we can always be connected.
Mmm...
Mmm... I'll tell you what.
If your number's ...
I damn sure won't be late.
Whwh
♪ Martin ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, yeah, yeawhazzup!♪
♪ I'm the man ♪
Tin ♪♪
Captioning made possible by warner bros.
Over!
Whazzup, whazzup, whazzup?
That's right-- pool school is in session.
Who wants the first les-son?
Surprise, groom is back!
You look a couple quarts low, man.
Hey, I was with my wife.
You--know--how--i--do.
Hey, look, man.
Um, I'm sorry I missed your wedding.
I took the wrong plane,
Ended up in samoa.
Yeah.
They got some mo' big women in samoa.
Yeah!
Just rack 'em, man.
Congratulations, martin.
You get that champagne I sent you?
You know what happened with that, nipsey?
Mama bust gina's father over the head with that.
Well, all right.
You know what, martin?
I'm a little surprised gina let you out tonight.
What you mean, let me out?
I'm a grown damn man. I let myself out.
All right.
Man, you crazy.
You got to let them know early who the man.
Why you got the beeper, though?
Gina get you that?
Man, just move out the way
And let me break the ball, man.
Ohh!
Show you right.
Ha ha ha!
Look here, martin,
Now that you're a married man,
You think you still got it?
That ain't no reason to trip.
I'm still the pool hustler clocking in here.
Damn, I'm good!
I don't know--
I don't know why I'm this good.
Hey, great shot.
How did you do that?
It's called skills.
Marty-mar got skills to pay the bills.
You have a lot of talent, too.
I'm cole. You are...
Not interested.
Right on.
What's up?
I'm vanessa.
Can I play?
I could pick up some pointers
Playing with a hustler like you.
True, true, you could,
But right now I'm playing with my knockers,
So that wouldn't even be right.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was interrupting your game.
You're not interrupting anything.
There you go. Be my guest.
I'll be a gentleman.
You take the first shot.
Have fun, 'cause you might not get another one.
Did I say what I just said?
Ha ha ha.
It's her first shot.
Well, look. Back up a little bit.
I'm going to try to make this as martin painless
As possible.
Heh heh heh.
Ha ha ha ha!
[Knock on door] all right!
[Squeals]
Hey, ms. Married lady!
Ohh!
Girl, you got to tell me all about this honeymoon.
Don't leave out a single thing,
Except for the parts with your little husband.
Where is bushwick?
Oh, um, he had to go out
And take care of some business...
Down at nipsey's.
Hold up.
Your brand-new husband is at the pool hall playing pool
His first night back?
Pam, please, stay out of married people's business.
He'll be home by :.
I'm not in your business, gina.
But if I was, I would tell you that it's :.
Don't you think I know that?
Anyway, it's not a problem.
I got him a beeper, and I'll just page him.
You should have bought him some platform shoes.
Hi. Hello. Yeah.
I'd like to leave a message for mr. Payne, please.
Martin payne.
Please tell him to call his wife.
Uh-uh.
Better yet.
Tell him to get his raggedy a*s home now!
Now!
Ahh...
Yeah!
I'm a bad man.
I'm a bad man.
Three p, three p,
Let me get on out of here.
I got to admit, you're good.
Thank you. That I am.
Ha ha!
Look, look, martin, you beat her like she stole something.
Didn't I tell you?
[Beeping]
Ah, what's that?
That's just martin's beeper.
Mrs. Payne wants him to get his butt home.
You're just mad because your pamda bear
Can't dial the phone with her claws.
Back off.
Martin, you're not leaving yet.
Ain't no competition around here.
Then I guess you wouldn't have a problem
Playing me for say, uh, bucks a ball.
First of all, sister, marty-mar don't gamble.
So you can save your money, honey.
Now I understand.
Your wife gave you a curfew.
Didn't you hear what I said earlier?
Don't nobody be giving me no curfew.
I come and go as I very damn well...please.
So you don't gamble.
What do you say we play for, uh, your watch?
You want to play for my watch?
You know, I'll tell you what.
I'll play you for nothing.
If I lose, you can have the damn watch.
O.k. It's on then.
Is it still ladies first?
On you.
Damn.
What time you say it was?
Well, it looks like this is my last shot.
What table are you looking at?
There's still four ba*ls left on the table.
Really?
Yeah.
Eightball, corner pocket.
How you like me now?
Uh, you ain't gonna give me a chance to win my things back?
What can you bet, some skin?
No. I got collateral.
I got collateral. Hold on a second.
Tommy...
Hey, man.
Come on, man.
Let me borrow the car keys, man.
What?
I ain't never lost in a row.
I can't. That's the company car.
You ain't got no company, man.
Cole, let me borrow your wallet, man.
You can hold it, but mom's already took what's in it.
Nipsey, let me borrow a few.
Quit while you behind.
She's gonna beat you silly.
Let's go, man. Time to go. Let's go.
Get off me, man.
I could win, man.
I'm taking you home to your wife.
Oh, damn!
I forgot about my wife, gina.
What time is it?
I don't know. You lost both of our watches.
Well, according to martin's watch, it's :.
Y'all have a good night.
[Bawling]
Man, it's cold!
I must've been crazy to give her my jacket.
If I was thinking, I'd have gave up my pants.
Now look, remember, all right?
Y'all better have my back on this.
Just stick to the story.
Oh...ouch.
Uh, hey, baby, we was just talking about you.
What are you doing up?
What are you doing damn near naked?
What?
Uh...i got jacked!
Martin...
Do you have any idea what time it is?
Time, gina?
What about me?
Look at me.
I'm damn near butt-naked, a*s out.
What about me?
This better be good.
I can't say it was good
'Cause it wasn't good, gina.
But I handled my business with them.
How many of them was there?
. .
? ?
No! Noooo!
You stupid... [Intentionally incoherent]
That was not the story.
[Arguing]
All right. Look, look, look...
Stop playing games and tell me what happened.
My... My head!
Gina, I'm a little traumatized.
Tommy, tell her the story.
I'm still going back over the traumatization.
Well, you--you know how martin is with injustice.
It's been done.
When we saw that poor little old lady being beat down,
He couldn't help but jump in and start swinging.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Then what happened was we ran through this burning house.
Yeah, yeah.
Then we came out and got in the mothership.
Ha ha! Baby bubba!
And, uh, and, uh, baby, that's it.
That's just the way it went down, baby bubba.
Good night, tommy. Good night, cole.
What you talk about the mothership?
Landed in the mothership, baby bubba!
All right, gina. I'm going to be real with you, baby.
All right, there was this, uh...
Pool shark down at the pool hall,
Hustling everybody out of their money.
What does that have to do with you?
I'm the only one that could beat him.
You should've seen this hustler guy.
When I beat him, all his boys got mad...
And jumped me, gina.
That's right, gina. They jumped me.
I'm just glad the bleeding is internal
So you won't have to see all the blood.
Come on, martin. You got jacked...
And then you ran through a burning building?
Yes. And don't forget the mothership, baby bubba.
Stop. Stop the lies, o.k.?
Please, it is so obvious.
A pool hustler beat the pants off you,
And you came home late.
Just admit it, martin, please.
O.k. O.k. Gina, gina... Sit down.
All right. Listen, baby,
I apologize.
It's my bad, gina. I should've called.
O.k.? But, gina, I ain't used to being married.
So I didn't know.
Me, either, martin.
But when you don't call me
Or don't return my page, I worry.
Put yourself in my position. How would you feel?
I wouldn't let you out.
Be serious. Shut up.
I'm just playing with you, baby.
We cool, though?
Hell no.
I'm just playing, baby.
O.k., Baby, give me luscious.
I was mad at you.
You was mad at me?
Don't be mad at me.
[Knock on door]
Who the hell?
Knocking on the door at a.m.
I'll tell him to cool it.
Oh!
Why--
Say it, man, say it.
I'm not here to give you problems.
I got your address from your driver's license.
I just wanted to return these.
Your little shoes don't fit my man.
My shoes don't fit your man,
But I bet my...
I bet my damn watch does!
Damn it.
Uh, gina?
Yes?
You going to open the door, babe?
Martin, who was that?
What? Who just--
Yeah, who just came over. Who was that?
Um, oh, that was the shoe salesman person.
No, baby, I don't think that was a shoe salesman person.
I think that was a woman who hustled your money...
Mm-mmm.
And had your a*s out.
No, no, gina.
That woman did not hustle me out of my money.
Open the door. It's getting chilly.
She may not have hustled your money,
But she took everything else.
Pam is going to love it!
Gina! Gina, don't you call pam!
I don't want the whole zoo knowing my business.
Pam!
Gina, open the door.
Pam! Wake up, girl!
What up!
Ohh...
[Hawks]
Dragon fly.
I have to give you all my money.
Can't you at least let me have some bus fare?
Give me my money.
Give me my money, old lady.
Give me my money!
Had you been playing bingo,
You wouldn't have these problems.
You'd be somewhere riding a bus.
You'd have bus fare, lady.
Look here, dragon fly.
They outside repossessing my car right now.
I need my money.
What that got to do with me, punk?
I ain't got no money.
So you better break out like the chickenpox.
I'm tired of this.
You snatched my money.
[Screeches]
It's on.
Like donkey kong.
[Screeching]
[Screeching]
Huh?
Ata!
Aah!
What--
All right.
Oh, boy.
♪ Everybody was kung fu fighting ♪
♪ Those kicks were fast as lightning... ♪
♪ In fact it was a little bit frightening... ♪♪
Aah!
Take your best shot.
Ah! , , , ,
, , ...
[Muttering]
Thanks, punks.
Ute