06x23 - Road Scholar

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

Well, now,
here we are, right?

Okay.
So, what we'll do is,

We'll head straight up
this way here

To your first interview
at ryerson college,

Then we'll head
over here to marston,

Then up to winnetka,

Then over to sinclair college

And then to northeastern
university,

And then we'll take
this route

As we come
all the way back home, huh.

Oh, you know something?

If we detour
at boonsocket,

We have bob hope's nose.

Great. Five colleges
in three days.

I could get smart
and carsick.

I wish I was going
to check out colleges.

I wish I was graduating
a year earlier.

I wish my name
was vivian.

Oh, well, don't worry.

Next year's
your year, viv.

Hey, this year is sam's.

You know, I've been waiting


You know,
when you were a little baby,

I used to put you
on my knee,

And you'd look up at me

And give me
that old college cheer.

You'd say "rah rah,"

Or maybe
it was "da da"

Or maybe "ca ca."

But anyway,

All I know is my sam
is going to college.

Let's get out there
and find you one, huh.

Oh, dad, you said we could wait
until the mail comes.

Oh, sam. Sam, please.

We're not back
on the tate university thing.

I mean, if they haven't set up
an interview for you yet--

I don't know if they're--
dad, there's still time.

I mean, maybe the problem is,
is that I'm an "m,"

And the admissions office
is only up to the ls.

Suzie zucker
got her letter.

Okay. Maybe the problem is,

Is they're working backwards
through the alphabet.

Adam anderson
got his.

Okay, so maybe...

They're using
the hebrew alphabet.

Moishe greenberg
got his.

You see, moishe
got his, huh?

Why are you putting
all your--

Why are you putting all
your eggs in one basket, sam?

Why are you setting yourself up
for the big disappointment?

And why do you want
to call yourself vivian?

Isn't it obvious?

Oh, dad, tate
is the perfect school for me.

Tony: oh.
I mean, it's got a great

Communications department

And dad,
it's got a lot of prestige.

And it's in california.

Oh, right.
I forgot all about that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Look, sam,
I have no problem with you

Going to california
or any place else.

It's just that
you got this fantasy

Built up about tate.

And sometimes fantasies
don't come true.

But how do we know

What's fantasy
and what's reality?

I mean,
isn't there a thin line

Between sanity and madness?

It's thinner than
you think there, bonnie.

Oh, no. Thank god.

Oh, you're still here.

We wanted to make sure
to say goodbye.

Oh, we're only going away
for three days.

Oh, I know but sam...

These three days
are the most important

In your entire
academic career.

Your horizons will expand

As you challenge test,

Question, probe.

What the hell
are you talking about?

I just want you to know
how proud I am of you.

You've studied hard,
you're gonna graduate early.

You are on the brink
of something--

All right, already.

So we know
it's special day.

Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah.

Hey, mona.
Mona, come on, now.

I think--i think
you know how important

The day like this
can be to a parent.

Of course.

I remember
when I took angela

On her interviews.

Oh, we really bonded
that week.

No, mother.
I had to post bond.

The police clocked her
at a 110 miles an hour

Racing a big rig.

I still can't believe I lose
to a redneck named, stubby.

Let's take the road, sam.

Come on, now.
Let's go.

Okay, now.
If the letter from tate comes,

You know we're will be
at the [indistinct]

Okay. The number there is--
I know.

Sam. Sam, sam.

Let it go.

Yeah, sam.
Vivian's right.

Come on.
Let's get there up.

Come on. Come on!
Bye.

Okay, bye mona.
Mona: bye, good night.

Wish you luck!

Oh.
Oh.

Oh, holy mackerel.

What a beautiful
campus, isn't it?

Dad, how could you tell?

It's buried under snow.

Well, then,
that's the beauty of it, sam.

You could ski to class,
you know.

I know, dad,
but tate is so--

Oh, please, sam. Sam.

You promised me
you're gonna keep an open mind.

Now, look, this college
has one of the best

Communications departments
in the whole northeast.

You're right--you're right.
Good curriculum,

A chance at a scholarship,

And once the snow melts,

I'm sure, we'll never
run out of drinking water.

Hi. Hi, I'm tony micelli,

And, uh, this is
my daughter samantha.

And she has an appointment
with dean miyashiro.

Yeah. We'll be right with you.

Okay. Okay,
thank you, thank you.

Hey, sam.

Get a load of this
building, huh? Huh.

Excuse me, uh...
What do you call

The style of architecture?

Old.

See? "Old," sam.

Old traditions.
Old values.

That's what you look forward
in a college--old, sam.

Actually, this spring,

They're tearing down
this building

To make room
for a new one.

Out with the old and in
with the new, sam, you know.

Progress, sam.

That's what you look forward
in a college--progress.

Dad, you don't have
to oversell.

Oh, you're a 100 percent
right, sam.

I don't have to oversell,
you know why?

Because this place
sells itself.

Am I right?

God, I'd give anything
to get out of here.

If only I could
find my car...

Well, it's
probably white,

You know what I mean,
with all this snow...

Ooh,
great shoes.

Yeah? Thanks.

Hey, sam,
making friends already, huh?

We don't see many shoes
around here

Before memorial day.

Oh, yeah, really?
Why not?

Well, that's when
the snow ends.

It snows until may?

Oh, that's great, sam.

That means the luge
will be open all year around.

Not really.

That's when
the rains start.

What's after
the rain? Locusts?

Mosquitoes.

What--was this the college
that was destroyed in the bible?

sam. Sam, you don't judge
a college by its weather.

you look at its courses.

its academic standing,
the teachers, sam.

and ryerson
is a terrific school.

[Muffled] but we still have
four more colleges
to look at.

And this is
our student union.

Oh, wow. How nice.
Very nice.

Isn't it beautiful, sam?
It's nice, huh?

Lynn, thanks so much
for the tour.

It's great. Thank you.

Sam, look.
Shoes. Open-toed.

Dad, can I borrow
some change?

I want to call
home and see

If I got the
letter from tate.

Oh, sam! Your fixation
is showing, sam.

Come on.
Hey, take a look around.

Isn't this nice?

I mean, couldn't you see
yourself going here?

It's possible.
It's possible.

Yeah. Come on.

Uh, one question.

All I've seen here
are girls.

Where are
all the boys?

He's sick.

He?

But the, uh,
college guide said

That the male/female ratio
was 3 to 1.

No. That was
a misprint.

Well, girls
could be fun, too, sam.

Dad. All right.
All right.

Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute. There's a boy.

I see a boy.
Look, there's a boy.

No.

That's my roommate annie.

Well, you know, the facial hair
threw me. You know?

She's a big girl, too,
you know.

okay, ryerson
and marston are out,

but there was nothing wrong
with those other colleges.

Sam: they just
weren't tate.

Tony: look, what if you
never hear from tate?

Sam: i don't know.

maybe I'll take
the year off

and bum
across europe.

[Screech]

Tony: no way, sam.
You want a college, all right?

but in america.

♪ oh, beautiful
for spacious skies ♪

♪ for amber waves
of grain ♪

Man: hey, buddy!

move it already!

Tony: hey, hey, hey,

there's singing
going on here

about america.

♪ for purple mountain
majesties ♪

♪ above the
fruited plain ♪

Dad, I'm not being picky.

I just want to go to tate.

Sam, you are
being stubborn.

I mean, you know,
sometimes in life,

You just can't get
what you want.

I mean, sometimes,
you have to live with snow,

Or--or a narrow curriculum,
or hairy annie.

Tate's gonna come through
for me, dad, I know it.

For somebody
college-bound,

You're acting
awfully immature.

Now, tate is gone.

Tate is history.

Tate is toast.

It ain't
going to happen.

Oh, you are here.

Guess what?
You...

Got a letter
from tate.

No!
I wanted to tell her!

Well, you snooze,
you lose.

Tate?
What did it say? What's that?

Okay. Okay.
But let me open it.

Uh, it says that
there will be

A representative
in our area,

And he wants to interview me
here on thursday!

All right!

Sweetheart.

This illustrates
something that I've tried

To instill in you
your whole lifetime.

When you have a dream...

Hold it close
to your heart,

And never, ever, ever
let it go.

♪ boola boola,
boola boola ♪

♪ boola boola,
boola boola ♪

scientific american,
foreign affairs.

Yes, yes, that's so
when the interviewer gets here,

He'll see that sam
comes from a cultured

Cerebral environment.

Aha.

mad magazine?

Well, that shows him
we are smart

But farcically inclined.

Tony.

Sam is going
to get in

On the strength
of her academic achievement.

And the impression she makes.

Of course, angela.

Don't you think
I know that?

But every little bit helps.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

A perfect
rubik's cube.

Don't touch it.

I bought it
that way.

If anybody asks,
sam did that.

Tony,
don't you think

This outright blatant pandering
could turn him off?

Hmm.

Well, maybe--
maybe you're right, angela.

I'll mess this up
a little bit.

That's what I'll do.

Um, but then again,
it might not.

Oh, angela, please,
don't do this to me.

Okay. Okay, okay.
How do I look?

Well, is my hair okay?

Do these earrings
go with this outfit?

And what about these shoes?

You know, maybe I should've
worn the blue dress.

Blue is so much more
decisive and assertive.

Isn't it?
I'm gonna go change.

No, wait, wait, wait.
Sam, sam. Wait a minute.

Look, you'll
gonna get into college

On the strength
of your academic achievements,

Not on what you wear.

But let me ask you
a question?

Does this color
wash me out?

You know, well, you said
blue is more decisive?

Because I could change,
too.

Let me go get--
no. Stop, stop.

You both look terrific,

And nothing is gonna
spoil this interview.

Hi-hi.

You know, sam,
I've, um...

I've been thinking
about your interview,

And I have
two words for you--

Body language.

I got two words for you--
adi-os.

I am serious.
Grrr.

Sam,
you sit up straight,

You look him
directly in the eye,

And you nod
intelligently,

And if all else fails,

Use me as a reference.

Mother,
she's not trying

To get into the floozy
institute of technology.

I am just trying
to be helpful here.

After all, I got into
every college I applied to

And a couple
I didn't.

Ahem.

Adi-os.

[Doorbell rings]
okay, here we go.

I'll get it.
No! Jonathan! No!

Good afternoon.
Welcome to the bower house.

I'm everett j. Warner.

From tate university?
A pleasure.

My transcript.
Keep it on file.

And remember--

Hi. I am
samantha micelli.

It's nice
to meet you, mr. Warner.

It's nice
to meet you.

Why won't you
come in?

This is tony micelli,
her father,

How do you do, sir?

And angela bower,
my mother,

Hello.

Who is not above
greasing some palms

To insure her son's
academic future.

Fine, I'm going.

And so, why don't we,
uh, get comfortable?

Would you like
to take a seat?

Yes, uh, a little
refreshment?

No, thank you.

Oh, okay.

Oops. Oh, sam. Sam,
how many times must I tell you

To not leave your proust
lying about?

Oh. It's unbelievable.

Oy. It's unbelievable.

Uh, he's not
normally like this.

Don't worry.

When something's
this important,

It's natural
to be nervous.

I can't believe it--

My daughter, my little girl
being interviewed

By one of
the finest colleges

In these here
fine united states.

"These here fine."
And you go to college?

I was just using
hyperbole, angela,

To express my pride
and exhilaration

At my progeny's
achievement.

And don't tell me
that ain't hyperbole.

Imagine, the two of you,
both of you

Going to college
at the same time next year.

Yes, yes. Me at ridgemont,
her at tate.

Two micellis in the hallowed
halls of learning.

I'm telling you,
angela,

We got brains
coming out of our ears.

Very good sats.

Impressive gpa.

Gee, thanks.

I take my schoolwork
very seriously.

Well, that's one of the things
we look for in a tate student.

Oh, of course.

But we also look
beyond academics.

Oh, of course,
of course.

Like what?

Well, we look
for well-rounded,

Self-motivated
individuals--

People with verve
and fire.

For example,
I just interviewed a student

Who spent the summer
in appalachia

Helping design
irrigation ditches.

Tell me, samantha,

What's your
irrigation ditch?

Well, uh...

I helped pick out
the typeface for the yearbook--

Helvetica.

But i, uh, I bet
you're looking for something

A little bit more
peace corps-ish, right?

Samantha, tell me something
that's not in here.

I really want
to go to tate.

Something you haven't said
four times already.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I just--

I just really, really
want to go to tate.

Oops. Sorry.

I wanna know, what you hope
to get from our school?

A full scholarship.

Oh, god,
did I just say that?

No, no. See, see, see.
What I meant was that, um...

I really feel
that I could benefit from tate

Because it's got an excellent
communications department

And the faculty is first-rate

And it's got one of the most
beautiful campuses

In these here fine--

I mean,
in the united states.

You're right.
And because of that

We have 50 applications
for every opening.



Well, what do you think
my chances are?

I usually
don't discuss that.

Oh, I know. But if you can
kind of tell me

How you're leaning?

The admissions committee
notifies the applicants.

Oh, yeah, but your opinion
must mean so much.

Well, if you really
want to know,

I'm leaning
towards appalachia.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

But you must have
some other options.

Where else
have you applied?

Uh, ryerson, marston,
northeastern,

Um, winnetka.

All good schools.

But there's
an excellent school

Right in your own
neighborhood--

Ridgemont.

Ridgemont?

It's got a solid
communications program.

And because
you're in-state,

You have a great chance
of that full scholarship.

Yeah,
but it's ridgemont.

Oh, if you're not sure,

Why don't you talk
to some other students.

Do you know any?

Just one.
A guy named tony.

Great. You should
get together with him.

Well, thanks for the interview,
mr. Warner.

It's been nice
meeting you.

You, too.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Ah?

♪ boola boola, boola
boola, boola boola ♪

So, when does
orientation start, huh?

Is someone
in the tate class of '94?

No one I know.

Hi.

How you doing,
sweetheart?

Oh, never been better.

Sam, I know how you feel.

It's tough not to get
into the school

That you want to go to, but...

Well, that's happened
to all of us.

Did it happened to you?

Well, no, but, uh...

You know, I'm no stranger
to disappointment.

I never went
to the prom--

Well, at least not
with a boy over 4'10".

You know, there must be
another school out there

That's right for you.

Well, actually, mr. Warner
did suggest one.

Well, that's wonderful.
You see?

Ridgemont.

Tony's ridgemont?

Yes!

Well, is that a school
that you would consider?

Yeah, if my dad
didn't go there.

Angela, this would be
such a disaster.

I mean, I'd never
have my own space.

I'd never have
my own freedom--

You'd always have
a ride to school.

Honey, I can
empathize with you.

But maybe you should just
step back and look at it.

You don't want
to limit your options

For your future
because of your father.

I know,
but it's not fair.

Oh, this is tough for you.

It's just not fair.

Oh, sam.

If I could make things
right for you,

I would.

I mean, why me?

Why does this have
to happen to me?

It's--it's not fair!

Sam, honey...

It's just not fair.

Enough!

That's right!

Life isn't fair.

And nobody ever said
that it was.

Now, you didn't
get into tate,

So you've got some
tough choices to make.

You be a big girl
and make them.

It's still not fair.
Ohh.

Sam: go to ridgemont,
don't go to ridgemont.

Go to ridgemont,
don't go to ridgemont.

Go to ridgemont.

Go to ridgemont...

Don't go to ridgemont.

Albert schweitzer,
mother teresa,

And ernest hemingway.

What do these people
have in common?

Uh, I think
they all won nobel prizes?

Correct. And not one
of them went to tate.

Dad.

I just--hey, listen.

No one who has ever walked
on the moon has gone to tate,

No supreme court justice
has ever gone to tate.

You know, the more I find out
who didn't go to tate,

The more I'm starting
to believe

It's just an educational
black hole.

There you go, there's
a little smile, now, sam.

Come on. We'll gonna find you
the perfect school, I promise.

Well, um,
actually, dad,

The tate recruiter
did mention one.

Oh, really?
What--what was it?

Ridgemont.

Ridgemont?

Well, academically, it's got
everything I'm looking for,

Unfortunately.

Ridgemont?

And I'd have a chance
at a full scholarship.

Bummer.

I mean, sam, you realize

That's where I go to school?

No, so that's what's
been bothering me?

Oh, sam, I mean,

Yeah, I don't know
if I like this, sam.

I mean, really, you must
have some other options,

Some options
far, far away.

Dad, it's not like
I don't want to go far away,

It's just that I've looked
at this from every angle

And it looks like ridgemont
is the way to go,

Sadly enough.

Oh, I don't know it, sam.

I think you just,
you got to look

A little harder,
that's all.

Dad, I don't get it.

I thought you'd be
in daddy heaven.

You get to keep
your little girl home.

Hey, sam.
It's taken me a longtime.

To accept the fact
that you're an adult.

And as an adult,

You have to make
the decision

That's right for you.

I don't want you
settling.

Dad, I am not settling.

I know what's best for me
and it's ridgemont.

Oh, my god,
did I just say that?

Well, sam, are you--
are you positive about this?

I'm afraid I am.

I see.

Oh, this is great.

Oh, we'll go
to school together,

We'll come over
have lunch together,

We'll drive home
together--

That's if I live at home.

Huh?

Well, I've been thinking

And even though
I'm not going away to college

It doesn't mean
I can't go away to college.

Huh?

I'm thinking about
living in a dorm.

Huh?

A dorm?

Wouldn't you be happier
if you were just--

No.

Well, wouldn't you
like it a lot more--

No.

Well, it's
not fair, sam.

Oh!

Dad...

Sometimes life
isn't fair.

I'll see you
at registration.

Oh, but, sam,
it's not fair...

Sam...

It's not fair...

But it beats the hell
out of bumming across europe.

Tony: who's the boss
will be back in a moment.
Stick around.

Tony, when are you
gonna be through studying?

I want to play.

Oh, I want to be
a concert pianist,

But that ain't
gonna happen, either.

But I'm bored.

Oh, here. Here.

Here.
This should keep you busy

For about a thousand years.

The rubik's cube.

Yeah.

[Humming]

Here you go.

How'd you do that?

I used to date rubik.

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