06x07 - Sam Can Manage

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long,
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

[Indistinct chatter]

♪ in a moment,
wait a moment ♪

Hello.

Hey.

What's up?

Uh, nothing much.
Nothing much.

I had to pay
$1.09 for lettuce.

Can you believe,
uh...

Sam!

Sam: in here, dad.

Aw, come on
my man al.

My man tony!
Hey.

So these
must be friends

Of yours in there,
right?

Yeah.
They go to al's beauty college.

Oh! Well, I thought
I smelled mousse.

So, how's school?
How's school?

Hey, any beauty tips?

Yeah, your skin
needs an exfoliator.

Really? Really?
I thought

My night cream
was enough.

Come on, al.
Tell dad the news.

Those guys in there and me,

We got ourselves a band,
and I'm the singer.

No kidding, now,
what kind of music?

Sort of springsteen-ey,
hard-kicking,

Monster-beat
power pop.

Well,
that's my favorite!

Yeah!

Well, that and vikki carr.

You know, I can already see
our first album cover now--

Me hitchhiking
on a lonely highway.

And the title--
american loser.

Well...

That's pretty
depressing, al.

Yeah.

Al maybe you
should just focus

On singing and writing
the lyrics for now.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
I penned one today.

What do you think?

Oh, let me see.
Let me see, here.

"Stuck in
a steel mill,

"Hate my boss,

"Now my bike
don't work,

Gotta walk home,
gotta walk home."

That's, uh,
that's terrific al.

It's terrific.
Read the chorus.
Go ahead.

There's a chorus,
huh?

[Laughs] uh...

"Home, home, home.

"Home, home, home.

Gotta walk home."

"Home, home home."
"Home, home, home."

Well, uh...
Hey, it rhymes.

Just put away
the groceries.

That swordfish was
stinking like a corpse.

Tony!

Yeah.
Tony, there are strange
people in our kitchen.

Oh, no, no angel
they're not strange.

They're beauticians.
[Laughs]

But that's by day.

By night, they're
a springsteen-ey

Hard kicking power pop
rock group.

And the lead singer's
none other than...

You remember al?

Oh, hello, al.
Hey.

Well, come on,
let's hear your tape.

Tony: hey, yeah.

Don't, it didn't turn out
too good.

The garage
we play in stinks.

Who cares? Let's
rock 'n' roll, sam.

[Rock 'n' roll playing]

Not bad.

It's good!

[Rumbling]

What--

What is that,
a train going by?

Well, actually,
it's the automatic

Garage door going up.

It's on the same frequency
as the guitar.

Uh-huh.

Al, you can't take
around that tape.

It's not professional.
Be serious.

I am serious.

Yeah. I even
did these flyers.

Do you mind posting some
of them around your school?

Sure. I'd love to.

Yeah, yeah,
give me some too.

I'll put them
around my campus.

My pleasure.

Wow, this is
the warmest family.

Hey, check this out.

You know, I paid extra
for the one they calligraphied.

Oh..."Arn bane."

No, angela,
it's "ark bend."

Well, actually,
it's "al's band."

I was closer than you.

Al, you can't
post these.

It represents your band.
Make it legible.

Wow. You're a woman
of ideas.

Hey, and put a picture
of yourselves on it.

I mean, you've got good hair.
Show it off.

How do you come up
with these things?

[Laughs] I don't know,

I guess it's just
natural talent.

Hey, maybe in college
I should major in rock 'n' roll.

Yeah.

T-t--

Or neurosurgery.

I can't believe this.

You dated mick jagger?

For two weeks

He stops singing

I can't get no satisfaction.

[Upbeat music playing]

All right, guys.

What are they
doing here?

Practicing!
Shh!

♪ things have
got to change ♪

♪ we're gonna make
a fuss ♪

♪ till reagan, reagan,
reagan ♪

♪ listens to us ♪

All right, guys!

Uh, [laughs] al,

I hate to
break this to you,

But, uh, reagan,
reagan, reagan,

Isn't president
anymore.

Oh, I know, but
"bush, bush, bush"

It doesn't work.

Okay, guys, that's a wrap.
Great rehearsals,

Same time, same place
tomorrow.

Oh, wait a minute
how come you're

Giving out orders?

'Cause
I'm their manager.

Oh, you are?
When did this happen?

Hey, we needed someone
to help get us gigs,

You know,
shape our image.

To map our career growth.

Hey, sam, when you go
on a world tour,

Do you hit
every city?

Uh, sam, can I
talk to you, please?

Sam, you don't have time

For this managing thing
sam.

You got to--you got
to study hard

And get great grades
and to get into a good

Neurosurgery school.

Dad, I promise
this won't interfere

With my schoolwork.

Think of it as part
of my education,

A school without walls.

Yeah, well, sam I like walls.

You see, because you can
hang things on them

Like diplomas.

Dad, the guys need me.

I mean,
you heard their tape.

Yeah, but sam you don't know

What you're
getting into here.

I mean, the world
of rock 'n' roll,

It's dank,
it's dark, it's smoky.

It's filled
with sinister roadies

And tattooed women.

You've seen cher's...
Video.

Look, I know I've never
done anything

Like this before,

But that's what makes
it so exciting.

Well, sam, one thing
I've learned in life

Excitement
is highly overrated.

Hey, sam, well,
we got

A managerial
question here.

Should we roll up
our sleeves like this

Or just rip them
right off?

Sorry, dad.
Time is money.

I think--i think
that ripping is old news...

So, let's think of something...

The answer
is van halen.

Oh, so van halen is
a member of van halen.

Yes.

But there's no milli
in milli vanilli?

No.

And there's only five maniacs

In ten thousand maniacs.

Yes.

And the grateful dead
are all alive.

And def leppard
hears perfectly

And if you have
anymore questions

Call casey kasem.

Oh, that's one I do know,

American band stand.

I don't like
what's going on now.

Now sam is managing
al's band.

Well, what's wrong with that?
Bands need good help,

Even a great heavy metal band
like van heflin.

Oy...

Oh, no, managing a band
sounds like fun.

Come on angela,
what does she know

About managing the band?

She don't even look
like a manager.

Oh, what does a manager
look like?

Well, they're these
tough little guys, you know,

With them--with them
pencil-thin mustaches

You know, and pinkie rings

And open shirts,

With gold chains dangling

In their sweaty chest hairs.

Wow, you're good
at that.

Now, can you tell me
what a bronco rider
looks like?

Don't test me, angela.

What I'm saying is,
I'm not sure

If she can even
handle this.

Okay, guys,
I'll see you tomorrow.

Billy, you need
new strings.

Gary, we need your car

And dale, don't be late
for practice

Or I'm gonna have
to kick some butt.

All right.

Okay, next time,
we'll talk about haircuts.

Whoa, whoa,

We're from the american
beauty college.

Hair is what we do.

Artists can be
so sensitive.

Tony: yeah, get out.

Hey, did you hear sam's
new name for the group?

I can see it
on the marquee now.

"Al and the hot rollers."

Yeah.

And then underneath
in small letters,

"Also appearing,
michael jackson."

She's good. Savvy.

I wonder if
colonel parker's father

Had these problems.

Who?

Sam: they're
this great new group--

Al and the hot rollers.

Of course,
you haven't heard of them,

They're new,
they're fresh, they're hot...

They're cheap.

Hello?

"Can't get a gig,
I'm hurtin' big.

"Career's a mess, sir.

I ain't nothing,
but a hairdresser."

Al, I'm sorry I haven't
gotten you guys a gig yet,

But it's only been
two weeks.

Oh, sure, sam, no problem.
No, no pressure.

You know, it's not me
I don't care at all.

You know, it's the guys.

They need 50,000 fans
screaming,

"I love you, al."

Hi, guys.

Have you heard the new
paul mccartney album?

I especially like
those songs

He co-wrote
with elvis costello.

Ooh, angela,
I'm impressed.

Oh, that's nothing.

I know all about rock,
reggae, rockabilly,

Post-modern,
pop, fusion.

Yeah, what do you think
of hip-hop?

Mother!

Hey, al.

When you play your first gig

Who is your opening act?

What's it to you,
jetsonhead?

Well, I'm working
on standup routine.

I do late '80s kind of stuff.

Listen to this.

Mini malls, how many one hour
photos do we need?

Sushi, hey,
if I wanted raw fish

I'd buy the river.

What do you think?

Your very odd little man.

I take that as a maybe.

I'm home, home, home
with news, news, news.

No, no, no,
that's not how it goes.

Is that how it goes?

Al, how does this sound?

One week from friday,

Fairfield junior
high school,

Seventh grade shindig.

Well, you got us
a gig?

I got you a gig.
My man tony!

Give me five.
Give me five.

Give me five.

"My man tony,
give me five."

Oh, it's...

It's all right, al.
It's all right.

Immortalize
somebody else, huh, buddy?

How did you do it?

You know, sam's been striking
out for two weeks.

Well, it wasn't without cost.

Uh, at the next
talent show,

I promised the principal
I'd do the merengue with her.

Where would we be
without this guy?

He's the man,
right, sam?

Yeah, he's the man.

Well,
let's celebrate.

Come on dad,
you want to help me
with some refreshments.

I'm always ready
to get my little girl a hand.

Hey, al,

One small step for al
and the hot rollers...

And?

That's it.

What a coup, huh?

Dad, there's something
that I got to say

I know, I know, you're
surprised that I helped you

But, look, if you are gung-h*

About managing al's band
then I'm behind you 100%.

Dad.
Oh, don't thank me sam.

I won't.

Look, I know
you're trying to help

And I know you meant well,

But get off my turf
and stay off.

Ooh, the music business
is a jungle.

Hey, sam, what's going on?

I thought you'd be happy
I got the band some work?

Dad, I'm the manager.
I get the band work.

And besides,
this teenybopper gig

Just isn't the way to
launch their career.

Oh, sure it is.

Hey, al's a bopper,
the kids are teeny.

It's perfect.

It's not perfect.
It's the wrong image.

Oh, at least--at least
they got a job, you know.

Dad,

How much
does this job pay?

Pay?

So they're getting
paid nothing.

No, no, no,
there's going to be snack bar.

I wouldn't call ring dings
and pudding pops, nothing.

And besides,
besides, hey.

What price
can you put on exposure?

Dad what good
is exposure

If it gets them the
reputation

Of being bubblegum
group?

Dad, we want an older,

More sophisticated
audience.

Like 15, 16.

Oh, sure sam, that's older
and more sophisticated?

Dad, they're the ones
who buy the records

And go to concerts.

Oh, so you really--you really
have thought about this, huh?

It's just that...

Whenever you think
I'm in over my head,

You try to take over.

Oh, I do not, sam.

Dad, remember
that model

I did for my
anatomy project?

You redid it
while I was sleeping.

It didn't speak to me, sam.
It didn't say spleen, you know?

By the way--by the way,
what do we get on that?

It's just that you're always
helping me,

And I'm always
letting you.

Well, that's what I do--
I help my little girl.

Well, it's got to stop!

For once, dad, please.

Just step back
and let me do something

All by myself.

Okay.

Okay.

Go ahead, go manage.

[Dramatic music playing]

Hi, sam, get a gig?

Get a gig? Get a gig?

How am I supposed
to get a gig

When club owners call me honey,
sweetheart, sugar?

Oh, cookie, baby, doll.

Sam, I have been there.

No one takes me
seriously.

Maybe I'm in
over my head.

Oh, this reminds me
of my first summer job--

The fairfield boat club,
canoe division.


And I got it.

It was a proud
moment for me.

My daughter,
the oar girl.

Anyway, I loved that job.

But I didn't love however
was mr. Lancaster, the manager.

He used to call me honey,
sweetheart, baby.

He didn't think
the job could be done

By a pretty blonde girl.

Don't embellish it,
dear.

Anyway, he started
making me so nervous,

I started doubting myself
and making mistakes.

One day,
I sent boat 17 out...

Oarless.

The scandal spread
all over town.

We had to move
after that.

Anyway, I started thinking
mr. Lancaster was right,

That I couldn't do
this job.

And mother, do you remember
what you told me?

No.

You said that I earned
the right to that job.

And that I was good at it.

Oh, yeah.

And I also said you should
never feel guilty

About that
elderly couple

Who had to
swim back to shore.

I was a good mother.

Sam, the point is,

Stand your ground.

Stop listening to
the mr. Lancasters of the world.

And you get back on that phone.

Get it, honey, sweetie,
cookie, baby, huh?

I'm just taking that
from you.

Okay.

[Guitar being tuned]

Oh, my...

Well, isn't
this clever?

A rock deli.

Oh, and what
a cute saying.

"When you knish
upon a star."

Oh...

So what do you think

Of the dark, dank world
of rock 'n' roll now?

Well, I've seen dankier.

But it's not too bad.
I mean, you gotta
nice little stage,

A spotlight,
and nice cheesecake.

Looks like processed
cheese to me.

Hey, look at sam

Managing
four hunky guys...

And I work with you.

Hey, sam, what do you say?

Hold it.

Do you have
a backstage pass?

No, but I used to burp
the band's manager.

Okay, you're in.

Okay, hey guys,
how you feeling?

Hey, listen sam,
I'm really proud of you.

You were right to hold out
for a paying gig.

Yeah, wait until you see
my cut of the action--

$7.50

Oh, not bad for 120 hours
of work, huh?

Okay. Well, dad,
the show's about to start.

Alright, honey, good luck.
Hey, guys, knock 'em dead.

Okay, guys, guitars
all tuned?

Yeah.
Definitely.

Energy up?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Are you ready to rock?

We're talking last calls
for the bathroom.

Excuse us.

Where's jonathan?

He's here.
At least he was here.

Woman: good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

here comes funnyman
jonathan bower!

Oh, no...

Hey, how you doing, folks?

Good.

Let me ask you something.

Cops, doughnut shops--
what gives?

Thanks, mom.

I'd like to introduce
someone special--

My mother angela bower.

She raised me by herself.

She's a bigwig
on madison avenue

And she still can't work
the vcr!

Ma, you big dummy,

Read the
instruction book!

Give him the hook.

Jonathan: I had
a date the other night.

I don't know?
Was it me, was it her?

Hey, you're get too hip
for this place, come on.

Hey, kiddo,
your band ready?

You bet.

Eddie, I hate to bother you,
about this now.

But the deal was
$75 up front.

And my band's
about to go on.

You sure it was 75?

Positive.

Well, listen,
you have your boys play,

And we'll settle later.

What do you mean,
later?

All right,
let's rock 'n' roll!

Cut!

We had a deal.

We still do.
Play, then I'll pay.

Hit it, guys!

All right.
Let's rock 'n' roll!

Cut!

Get those boys playing,

Or you'll never work
in this deli again.

Understand, sweetheart?

Sam, was he
threatening you?

Because nobody threatens
my daughter.

Could I speak to him,
sam, please?

Sam?

No.

No, I can handle
this guy.

I'm the manager.

Well, as manager,
you can hire me as muscle.

And I come cheap,
real cheap.

I'll pay you.

No, dad,
I'm on my own here.

Look...

What you're doing
isn't right.

You owe us $75.

Take me
to people's court.

Look--
no, you look.

I don't have time
to play with little girls.

You got it, sweetheart?

Get this,
sweetheart.

You give us our $75
or else.

Eddie, we need a signature--

Later!

Or else what?

Or else we walk.

Are you gonna tell
your customers

That there's no
live music tonight,

That the only live
entertainment

Is funnyman
jonathan bower?

Jonathan!
Tell another joke!

But don't get me wrong,
I love los angeles.

And how about
those freeways--

Should he go on? He's got
a million of them.

You drive a hard bargain.

I do, don't i?

Here you go.



Eddie...

I'm just trying.

The cost of herring
is k*lling me.

Thank you.

Okay, guys, let's
rock 'n' roll!

All right,
let's rock 'n' roll!

Boy, that little girl
is some tough cookie.

You got that right.

But she's
no little girl.

♪ things have got
to change ♪

♪ we're gonna make
a fuss ♪

♪ till reagan,
reagan, reagan ♪

♪ listens to us... ♪

Sing it, al!

Singer: ♪ till reagan,
reagan, reagan ♪

♪ listens to us... ♪

Tony: who's the boss
will be back in a moment.
Stick around.

Hi.

I thought I'd just
stop by and help.

I'm almost done.
Thank you, anyway.

You're welcome,
you're welcome.

This could be fun.

Tony: angela, please.

Don't touch
the drums

And don't touch
the drumsticks.

Okay.

[Drums being played
like a professional]

I'm much better
on the trumpet.

[Theme music playing]