05x25 - It's Somebody's Birthday

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ it's the day before
somebody's birthday ♪

♪ i wonder who ♪

♪ it's the day before
somebody's birthday ♪

♪ right in this room
near you ♪

How come you don't cry
about your birthday all day

Like my mom does?

Are you kidding?
I love my work.

I'm going to college.

I'm surrounded
by the people I love.

I'm one happy fellow.

Mona: hmm, it says here

"The average male
reaches his sexual peak at 18."

Well, thank god
I'm not average.

Hey, you know, I felt so good
this morning,

I did 200
one-arm pushups.

One hundred per arm.

Watch this little
baby boogie.

So what are you guys
doing for my birthday?

Oh, just a small intimate party
with big wonderful gifts.

Oh, I like, I like.

And then, mrs. Rossini
can surprise me

With her chocolate
apricot birthday cake.

What surprise?
She brings you one every year.

Tradition, sam.
Tradition.

And every year, after she
leaves, you throw it away.

Tradition, sam.
Tradition.

Hey, you know what?
I got to get to class.

And you guys have some very
serious shopping to do, I think?

Remember--7 1/2,


You wish.

♪ it's somebody's
birthday, I wonder who ♪

♪ it's somebody right
in this room near you ♪

♪ so look all around you
until you see who ♪

I say that we should throw tony
a humongous bash,

With champagne fountains,
exotic birds...

Fine. You wanna help
pay for it?

Small is good.

[Car stalls]

Uh, sounds like dad
needs to push start.

Aw, this thing.

Sorry to bother
you guys with this again.

Standard positions?

Check.

Oh, you know,

This thing is more trouble
than it's worth.

I'm always late. It gets 30 feet
to the gallon.

That's it.
I'm buying a new car.

Dad, you've never had a new car
and you'll never get

A new car.

I know, I've said this before,
but I'm buying a new car.

You've said that
before, too.

Okay, come on, everybody. Push.

Mona, the brake!

It's on!

Oops.

Tony: come on.

Tony, you really did
get a new car!

No, no, not yet, not yet.
I just drove by

To see what you guys
think about it.

So what do you think?

Well, I think it's--

It's beautiful,
isn't it?

I mean, look at it.

I just love--
check this out.

Come here.

Get a whiff.

Ooh, that's that
new car smell.

I don't want
to use it all up.

There is nothing
like a satisfied customer.

Hi. Doug shaffer.

Uh, yeah, doug,
this is angela,

Jonathan,
and samantha.

Hi--oh, hold
the phone!

Oh, boy.

I just may have
something for you.

Here's a green one
for you

And a red one--
hoo hoo hoo--

For you.

Hey, thanks!

So, uh,
what do you think?

Well, I think
it's fabulous.

And now when I come home,

I won't feel like I'm pulling up
to a grateful dead concert.

Grateful dead!

I'm sorry.

Anyway, I think
it's perfect.
It's really beautiful.

I love the color.
I love the shape.

Ooh, and the horn.

Ooh, that crazy horn.

Dig it, dig it.

[Horn honks]

Ooh, listen to it
wail, daddy-o.

Tony, could I see you
in the kitchen for a minute?

Good idea, angela.
I want to see

What it looks like
when I'm washing dishes.

Oh, I'll be back, doug.

Excuse, us.

What, what?

Do you think
it's such a good idea

To love the car so much
in front of the salesman?

Oh, you're right.
You're right.

See, tony, the way
to get a deal

Is you have to be willing
to walk away--

You have to be willing to
tell yourself--

Oh, angela, hey, please.
I know how to haggle.

Are you kidding me?
I was raised on the streets.

There's not a pitchman alive
I can't hold my own with.

Doug: tony, I've got
to get the car back!

There's a couple's coming from
danberry with a deposit.

Doug, no! Don't go!

No, tony. Tony.

There's no couple.

See, that's a sales ploy.
He wants to sell

As badly
as you want to buy.

How do you know?

Because he laughed at my
grateful dead joke.

He's desperate.

Well, let's just invite him in

We'll sweet talk him,
then we'll move in for the k*ll.

Okay, good. Good.

Uh, doug...

Groovy, man!

Adorable children.

Smart as whips.

And the boy looks
just like you, tony.

Must be his hair.

Doug, let's chat.
Please sit down.

We will be happy
to take the car off your hands

If you'll give us
an extended warranty

And knock $1,000
off the price.

Well the best I can do
is knock off 200.

Oh, 200 is good.

No, it's not.
No, it's not.

We want another
grand off list.

Is that
your final offer?

Uh, yes.

Yes, you heard
the lady, pal.

We're not budging
one red cent.

Too bad.

Because you looked
so darn good in it.

Well,
have a nice day.

Angela,
are you crazy?

I was made
for that car!

It was made for me.
I'm going after him.

No, no, no, tony, don't!

No, tony. Please.

He'll come back.
Trust me, he'll come back.

Oh, what the heck.

My manager's
going to k*ll me,

But, hey,
it's your birthday.

Tony,
you got a deal.

I told you.

Oh, great.

Barbells! What a wonderful
present for tony.

Yeah, it's so hard to find
the perfect gift for dad.

You know, that's something
special that only his daughter

Would think of.

Hey, look what I got for tony.

Wow, isn't this amazing?
We're both

On the same wavelength.

It's like we really connect.

We do not connect.

We never did connect,
we never will connect,

There is no connection
between you and me

I'm taking mine back.

Wow, I was just about
to suggest that.

We really do connect.

I'm moving.

I'm giving tony
the best gift of all--

A blank check.

Mother, that's one
of my checks.

And you forged
my signature!

Oh, come on, now.

Can it really be called
forgery when it's your mother?

Yes!

Oh, that's tony.
Hide the gifts.

Why does that always
feel so good?

He's still
driving the van.

I wonder where
the new car is.

Tony, where's
your new car?

I didn't buy it.

Why not?

You loved that car.

Yeah, I loved it.

But when I sat down
to sign the papers,

I just didn't think
that I loved it enough

To shell out
all that money.

I mean for about
the tenth the cost,

I can, you know,
I can fix the van.

Just like new.

Oh, if you'll
excuse me,

My muffler's
falling off.

[Doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Hi, mrs. Rossini.

Hello. I'm here!

Let the games begin!

Hi, kids!

Look who's grown.

Oh. Do I feel
a whisker or two?

Ha!
Ha ha!

Oh, samantha,
you're beautiful!

You're perfect!

You need


Mrs. Rossini!

Carmella: oh, it's
the birthday boy!

Tony, tony, tony!

Have i...

Got a surprise...

For you.

Oh, mrs. Rossini.

A chocolate
apricot birthday cake.

Oh, who would've thought?

And what's a party
without hats?

Thank you,
mrs. Rossini.

And mona.

Hey,

I don't do hats, bunky.

[Honk honk]

Well, who was that?

I don't know. Why don't we
go outside and see.

After you...

Grizzly adams.

Hiya, tony.

Mrs. Bower.

Hiya, kids!

Hi, there.

Doug shaffer.

Mrs. Carmella rossini.

Ah.

Divorced.

Lollipop?

We'll talk.

Are you two through?

What are you
doing here, doug?

Tony, he drove
your present out.

Happy birthday
from me to you.

Jonathan: wow!

Carmella: you get a load
of this!

Sure, make the rest us look
like cheapskates.

This is the most
incredible gift

That anybody ever gave me.

Carmella: I'll say.

What a big, fancy,
expensive car.

Oh, you must
be doing very well.

Tony, i...

I know that
it's extravagant,

But I also know
how much you love it.

And I want you to have it.

Well, i, uh...

I really appreciate that,
angela, but...

You shouldn't
have done this.

I can't accept it.

Can I have it?

Hi.
Hi.

How you doing?

Okay. How you doing?

Okay.

Gee, I love
the teddy bear plates.

Angela, I'm sorry about
walking away like that.

I'm really sorry
about the car. I just--

Look tony, you don't have
anything to be sorry about.

I'm the one who pushed.

It's a very expensive gift.

And I'm the one
who's sorry.

Yeah. Boy,
is it expensive.

Closest I came to having
something that expensive

Was when I stood outside
of tiffany's window

With a rock in my hand.

I didn't throw it.
I just...

Tony, as much as you
love that car,

It wasn't never meant to make
you feel uncomfortable.

Well, it's not that angela.
It's just that

When I buy something,

I usually like to be
the one buying it.
You know.

I know.
Wait a minute.

Maybe we could
work something out.
You know.

Maybe we could split
the payments 50-50.

It's nice of you,
it's really nice of you,

But I just can't let you
do all this for me.

Tony, I'm not just doing it
for you

I'm doing it
for myself as well.

I need you to have
a reliable car.

You run my errands.
You pick jonathan up at school

When the van breaks down,
it affects everyone.

That's true.
That's true.

She's right.

That van is a disaster
waiting to happen.

Picture this.

You pick me up.

The van breaks down
in a snowstorm.

You run for help.

You get back.

All that's left
is my dead...

Frozen body.

So what's
your point?

Oh...
Tony, come on.

Don't be so proud.

Yeah, you deserve
that car.

You look so good
in black.

I do, don't i?

Uh...





You got a deal.

Happy birthday, tony.

Thank you so much.

Yay! He's
keeping the car.

Why not?
Why not? I mean, hey.

Why look a gift horse
in the mouth, huh?

Oh, no offense, angela.

I didn't mean that.

Well, he'll be with you
in just a sec.

Okay.

The new car has been on
the garage for three days

Why aren't you driving it?

Acid rain.

It was cloudy, and the first
rain to the season

Are always
the most acidic.

Don't you read
u.s. News and world report?

Wasn't that the one with
gorbachev on the cover?

Yeah.

Yes, tony, this is
mr. Renkowski.

Right. Listen,
I caught your ad

About that '67 chevy van.
"Mint condition."

Yeah.

Where is it?

Right here.

Behind this thing?

It is this thing.

You want 500 bucks
for this?

Yeah, yeah.

I just tuned it up,
it runs real good.

And hey, they don't make them
like this anymore.

I can see why.

But it doesn't make
any difference

I'm going to strip it anyway.

Strip it?

Sure. I'm gonna
rip out the manifold,

Tear off the carburetor,

And sell the shell
for scrap.

Get away from my car.

Over my dead body
you'll do that.

You ain't
butchering my baby.

It's all right girl,
he didn't mean it.

So, uh...

How come you want
to buy a van, skye?

My boyfriend and I are going to
drive it to l.a.,

Stop at the beach,
and hang.

Hang?
Hang what?

Hang out.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I figure
this will sleep

Oh...six to eight
of my friends.

Men and women?

Whatever.

Tony: yeah.

You know,
this would really look neat

Painted pink
with yellow coyotes.

Bye, skye.

Bye.

[Tape plays]
singer: ♪ up on the roof ♪

♪ up on the roof ♪

♪ when this old world starts
a getting me down ♪

♪ and people are just
too much for me to face ♪

What are you guys looking at?

Dad, he's just sitting
in the van

Staring up into space.

Angela: oh, I just don't
understand it.

He's had at least
a dozen perspective buyers.

And he found something wrong
with everyone of them.

Uh-hmm. He look so sad.

He look so pensive.

He look as if a race of alien
blob people

Have infested his brain.

I admit it, it's unlikely.

[Door closes]

Singer: ♪ and there the world
below don't bother me ♪

Dad, you okay?

You've been sitting
in here for two hours.

Sam, our whole lives
are in this van.

Look what I found.

A button?

This button came off
the tux I rented for my wedding.

Your mom, she didn't
saw it back on,

She taped it to the visor

So we'd always
remember that day.

Nice button.

Look what else
I found.

A nickel.

No. Not just a nickel.

It's the nickel.
It's your nickel.

You used to play with this
when you are a preschooler.

You know it was like an
imaginary friend.

You used to talked to it,

You even gave it
a clever little name.

Mister nickel.

Mona: what are they
doing now?

Now they're both
staring into space.

First the men
and then the children.

It's the way
of the blob people.

I'm going to go out
and check on them.

Careful.

They may suck out
your personality.

Too late.

Hey.

What's going on
out here?

Angela, we're keeping the van.
We're keeping the van

And we're putting this button
back on the visor

And we're never moving it.

Well said, sam.

Tony, can I see you
out here, for a second?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's really
going on?

Uh, angela, um, this van,
I can't get rid of it.

I mean, every dent,
every bit of primer,

Every busted valve,
it's me.

So it wasn't just the money
or me being too extravagant?

Angela, I'm just
an inner-city kid

Who drives
a beat-up van.

Yes, but you are also
a connecticut father

Who goes to college
and works hard

Who's building a future

For himself
and his daughter.

Yeah, I know,
but when I look that new car--

So sleek, so perfect,

So not me.

If that's the way you feel,

Then we'll keep the van
and we'll sell the new car.

You mean that, angela?
You won't be offended?

Not at all.
Whatever you wanna do.

You just let me know.

All right.
Thanks, angela.

Come on, sam.

Well, dad, if we're
keeping this van,

We really have
to fix the door.

Okay, sam.

Mr. Micelli?

I'm mitch.

Oh, sure. Hi, mitch.

I'm sorry. I forgot
you were coming,

But the van's
not for sale.

Oh, too bad.

She's a real beauty.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
She is. She is a real beauty.

Singer: ♪ and all that... ♪

Wow. Great sound.

Hey, come here.
Check this out.

Look in there, huh?

That's an 8-track tape.
One of the few left.

That's neat, man.

Too bad
it's not for sale.

I really need a car.

It's tough picking up
my girl on foot.

Oh, that sounds familiar.

Before I got this van,
dating used to be a drag.

Marie and I
were the only couple

At lover's lane
without a car.

We'd fog up
other people's windows

From the outside.

December
was a rough month.

Yeah, yeah. It would've
been my first car, too.

You don't say.

Hey do you know where
I might find another car

Around here
for about the same price?

Me and my girl
are getting married soon.

And we're on a tight budget.

Yeah, well, i--i really
wouldn't know.

Hey, well,
thanks anyway. See you.

Okay.

Hey, mitch!

Yeah?

You got yourself
your first car.

Are you sure? I thought
you said it wasn't for sale.

Maybe I was just waiting
for the right buyer.

Really? For 500?

Yeah. Come on
around tomorrow.

I'll have it
ready for you.

Thanks, mr. Micelli.
Thank you.

Okay.

Hey, mitch.

Make it 300.

Rent yourself
a nice tuxedo

For your wedding.

I will.

See you
in the morning.

Okay, mitch.

Hey, angela!
Samantha!

I sold the van.

We know.
We eavesdropped.

It was mona's idea.

Mona: was not!

So, you feel good
about your decision?

Yeah, I really do.
And you know what I think?

Let's all take a ride
on my new car.

I'm dying to try
the radio.

I hear this fm thing's
really catching on.

All right. We'll go
get jonathan and mother.

Okay. Go ahead.

Oh, my nickel.

I think you're going to like
your new owner, girl.

Singer: ♪ i know ♪

♪ where you just have to wish
to make it so ♪

♪ let's go up on the roof ♪

It's beautiful.

It's perfect.

I love this car.

[Thunderclap]

Oh, no.
That is always the way.

Oh, come on. Please,
please don't.

Please, please,
please, please, please.

[Birds sing]

Aha, aha.

Hey, I owe you one.

[Birds sing]

[Theme music playing]