05x23 - Ode to Angela

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ I found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

Gin!

I hate when you do that.

Ah, you're a sore loser.

We're playing
crazy 8s.

So I improvised
a little.

Oh, finally. Angela,
it's after 9:00!

Yeah, when I left
the office at 5:00.

You didn't say
you're going to be late.

I got stuck with a client,
and you left at 3:30, mother.

Well, she improvises,
angela.

It's bigger
than both of us.

Oh, by the way,

Some guy named
brian thomas called.

Brian called?

Brian?
Brian thomas?

Uh, yeah.
He called from vegas.

Brian?
Brian thomas?

Yeah, he's flying here
to see you.

Brian?
Brian thomas?

Yeah. Brian.
Brian thomas.

Who is this guy?

Oh, it's brian.
Brian thomas.

Who is he?

Oh, nobody.

Just somebody I went
to college with.

We were in the same
poetry class together.

When's he coming?

[Doorbell rings]

Guess.
Oh, no!

Oh, look, you don't
want to see this guy

I'll just tell him
you're not home.

No, no. It's just
my clothes are wrinkled.

My hair's
a rat's nest!

Your eyes are bloodshot,

Your skin is puffy,

Your ankles are swollen--

I could go on all day.

Mother!

All right.
You're a good driver.

[Rings]

Hi. I'm brian.

Brian?
Brian thomas?

Come in.

Angela?

Brian.

Hi.

After 20 years
you look radiant.

Well, that's because--

That's because I make sure
she gets plenty of rest,

She exercises regularly,

And she misses those
in-between-meal snacks.

And doesn't she
have a shiny coat?

Brian, this is
my housekeeper tony

And my mother mona.

Your eyes shine,
mona,

As if heaven itself
resides in them.

I'd like to bear
your children.

Sorry, brian.

Last time she heard
her name in a poem,

It started with,
"there once was a man

From nantucket..."

Uh...brian,
sit down.

So, how have
you been?

Well, fine.
I teach poetry now.

So, why
are you here?

Uh, do
tony and mona

Know what happened
between us in vegas?

Ooh, I like
where this is going.

Yeah, yeah,
what went down in vegas?

Nothing. We flew in,

Flew back.
Swish, swoosh.

Yeah, well, it sounds like
something happened

Between the swish
and swoosh.

All right!
All right!

We played blackjack,
got married,

Pigged out
at the smorgasbord table,

And, oh, yeah,
saw wayne newton.

You know, it's funny, angela,
for a second there,

I could have sworn
you said, "got married."

We did.

I don't believe it.
You?

Yes, me.

It was one of those
crazy college things.

And then next day
brian flew to mexico

And had it annulled.

Boy!

You clean somebody's house
for five years,

You think
you know her.

Look, it's just one
of those things

It's all behind me now

Because it's out
in the open.

We could all have
a good laugh.

Angela, we're
still married.

We're what?

I flew to vegas

To marry my
fiancee rhoda,

And the
license bureau

Said that we are
still married.

You went to tijuana.
I signed papers.

I never read them.

They were processed
by the mexican

Sanitation bureau
by mistake.

That's the english
version.

Oh, what does
all this mean?

That means you're still
a married woman,

With permission
to install

A 1,000-gallon
septic tank...

In mexicali.

Oh, my god.

Hot damn!

All those years you
were married to michael,

You were a bigamist!

Hey, but wait a minute,
wait a minute

How come--how come angela
could get away with it,

And brian here couldn't?

I don't know.

I don't think connecticut
checks with nevada

Every time somebody
gets married.

Then what are we
paying taxes for?

Yeah.

Oh, don't worry angela
I've got
new papers here.

Just have them
notarized.

And I can fly back
to vegas into rhoda's arms.

Oh, thank god.
And thank you brian

I will take care of it
first thing in the morning.

Great.

Well, it's
getting late.

I'd better
be going.

Can you recommend
a motel in the area?

Oh, hey, forget it.

You're practically
part of the family.

We'll put you up.

Yeah, as long as it's
okay with the missus.

[Tony singing]

I'm sorry.
Don't let me interrupt.

No, no, you're not.
Rhoda's line is busy.

Oh, I'm just gonna get myself
something to drink.

I can't sleep tonight.

Well, try a book
of my poems.

That'll put you
right out.

Hey, brian,

Let me ask you
a question, huh?

What was angela like


I mean, you know,
it's not like her

To just run away
like that.

You know, she's very
conservative.

On the surface,
but you know what happens

To women like her when
they shed their inhibitions.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You're darn
tootin' I do.

Tell me anyway.

They become
volcanoes of passion.

Angela?

Well, uh, what was it
that volcanoized her?

Tony, I wish I knew.

Well, think,
man, think.

I don't know,
maybe it was my poetry

That unlocked her passions.

After one
of my readings,

I looked up
and there she was...

Sitting on
her bean-bag chair,

A single tear
trickling down her cheek.

Mmm. Poetry, huh?

Well, did it rhyme?

Only visually.

Oh, yeah,
one of those.

Next thing I knew,

There we were
on a plane to vegas.

Mind if I get myself
something to drink?

Oh, no, help yourself.
Help yourself.

You know, tony,
I guess we say the right words

To a woman like angela,

There's
a fire there

Waiting
to consume you.

Angela: tony!
Are you downstairs?

Yes, it is i, angela.

Tony, listen.

I have to be
at the notary tomorrow,

So do you think
that you could--

You're looking
at me funny.

Am i?

Oh, hi, angela.
Glad you're here.

Listen, you two have
been so hospitable.

I'd like to take you out
to dinner before the flight.

Oh, that would be great,
that would be great.

Hey, I'll be the honored guest
at your divorce reception.

Oh--just don't
expect gifts.

Nighty night.

Night.
Night.

Well...

I guess I should try
rhoda again.

Yeah, and I'm
on my way upstairs.

Oh, my.

What?

The way you flipped
your hair like that.

It was just like rhoda--

Very sensually.

You know,
in a lot of ways,

You two are very alike.

Really?

Well, she sounds
delightful.

Well, uh...

Good night.
Brian: good night.

Oh, thank you
so much.

Mmm. Amusing.

May I propose a toast?

To not living
happily ever after.

salute.

Mmm.

Oh. That's strange.

I just had
the weirdest sensation

That I'd been here before.

Oh, you mean like deja vu?

Exactly.

Oh, you mean like deja vu?

I love doing that.

Well, the airplanes--

Now I know
what it is.

Brian, look around
and think back.

You're right.
It's uncanny.

It is exactly
like the place that we ate

In when we were waiting
for our flight to vegas--

The candlelight,

The cozy booth,
the noise of planes.

And a hearty
hi-h*, silver!

I'm sorry.

I'm just
in a silly mood.

Ignore me.
Ignore me.

Do you want to know
something?

Sure, what?

I was talking
to brian.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I still have
your poem memorized.

The little one
that you wrote for me

While we were waiting
for our flight?

You're the only person that
ever understood my poetry.

It was beyond
the common rabble.

Oh, yeah. That rabble
really ticks me off, you know?

Well, let's hear it.

I didn't know
you're interested in poetry?

Me angela?
What are you kidding me?

I have written poetry.

I was the poet laureate
of picken high.

Really? I would love
to read some.

Oh, no, no,
I'm sure that janitor

Has wiped that stall
clean by now.

But let's hear brian's.

"India ink-stained,

"Heart kneeling,

Fragment structure,
lamplight dust."

Very nice.

Very nice.

You know,
very visual.

Did angela get all
the words in the right order?

I think all this talk
about the past is boring tony.

Oh, you're right.
I'm sorry.

Tony: oh, no, no.
Hey, hey,

I'll survive,
I'll survive.

Hey, what are you guys
gonna have?

It was freezing that's why
we ate at the airport

To warm ourselves up,
do you remember?

I think I'm gonna have
the chicken fajita.

It was the wine
that did the trick.

Oh, yes.
We got very warm very fast.

Virtually a flame
on fire.

Oh, yeah, we started
playing footsies.

Okay. I think we should,
you know, start talking less

And look at our menus more
because airplanes don't wait.

Isn't that right,
angela?

They sure don't.

I remember after we got out
of the restaurant

We got separated
for a minute.

You were upstairs.
You were downstairs.

I waited for you.
I ran to the stairs.

You called out his name
he looked down

You came up,
you embrace.

Fun story.
Let's order.

Why are you
so cranky?

Well, I always get cranky
when I'm hungry.

You know that.
Well, cool it!

You know
this may be my last chance

That I ever get to talk
with the man with whom

I spent an
unforgettable weekend.

Angela, you moved
me tonight,

Remembering our weekend
so fondly.

Angela,
you remembered my poem.

Now, that is
incredible.

You know,
it really is

Because I can hardly
memorize anything.

You know,
when I played ball,

I couldn't remember this meant
"bunt" or this, you know.

I think
I love you.

What did
you say?

You heard me.

I said
I love you.

So finally
I said coach,

"Just yell bunt!

Let's hope the other
team doesn't hear."

You know what I mean?

You're kidding, right?
Tell me you're kidding.

I wasn't
expecting it either,

But love is so rare,

You've got to grab
onto it when you can.

Brian,
what are you doing?

Those are
the divorce papers--

Were the divorce
papers.

Hence shall rise

The phoenix
of our new life.

Say something,
angela.

Say what's
in your heart.

Isn't this
the no smoking section?

Oh, no. More gifts.

I love that
son-in-law of mine.

He left this little messages
on everything,

These cool
little poems.

Listen to this--

"As roses bloom,
so shall our love."

"Sugar sours in
your sweet shadow."

What does that one say?

"Needs three-prong
adapter.

I'll
send one later."

Move over walt whitman.

Mom, we need to talk.

Yes, honey.
What is it?

Dad's in california,

Brian's your husband

And tony's like a dad

Who do I call what?

I know it's strange,
sweetheart,

But just try to bear with it
for a while, okay?

Okay, but be careful.

This is the type
of freudian situation

That could harm
a child's psyche.

Did you tell him that?

It came up
in conversation.

What did I do
to deserve this?

Oh, you don't know?

Oh, you don't know?

"I still have
your poem memorized.

"India ink
stained my pants,

Kneeling
on a lamp!" Sheesh!

So you think
I led him on?

I said sheesh, didn't i?
Can't you read
between the lines.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, angela,
guess who's here.

It's the hubby
that wouldn't die.

I'll get rid of him.

No tony, we've got
to be nice to him.

Nice, why?

What, are you holding out
for a crockpot?

We can't hurt him.

He's a delicate,
sensitive, fragile soul.

He's a nut.

Angela,
can we talk?

Yes, please, brian
we need to talk.

May we
be alone?

I'm sorry, bry,
I'm waiting for a call

I got to stay by the phone.

Yeah, I do,
too, bry.

I just want
to hear this.

Fine. It doesn't matter.
Look, angela,

I know I came on strong
last night

But I'm thinking a lot
more clearly this morning.

Thank god.
Ditto, god.

And there's something
I've got to say--

You stir from silence,

Exalt my soul.

You are winged grace
personified.

Both: ahh!

Give it up.

Acacias bloom
in mystic shroud.

For you,
the goddess personified.

Ohhh.
Tony: angela!

Sorry.

You're a dear sweet man.

We have dear
sweet memories,

But that's
where it ends.

The other night,

Why did you
flip your hair...

Twice?
Oh, hey.

You flipped
your hair...twice?

It needed a flip.

Oh, my.

Stop that.

Bry, what
about rhoda?

She's a wonderful person,
but I love my wife.

Isn't that refreshing
in today's world?

I leave you
with that thought.

What do--what are we
gonna do now?

I don't know. You told him
you don't want him.

You won't let me
beat him up.

Well, I'm at my wit's end.

Oh, you? Could you
imagine poor rhoda--

Sitting there
in her white dress,

With a cup
full of nickels

Pulling on
a one-armed bandit.

Rhoda!
Rhoda!

Mmm.
[Doorbell rings]

Angela. Doorbell.

By the way
brian sent you

Another box
of chocolates.

Next time,
will you tell him jewelry.

Hi, you
must be rhoda.

You must be angela.

And you
must be freaked.

This is my mother mona.
Hi.

And my housekeeper tony.

Oh, you
must be rhoda.

Hello.
Tony: hello, hello.

Angela, I really want
to thank you

For getting in touch
with me.

I have been so upset

Since I got that call
from brian.

Yeah, I bet
you just want to beat

The living couplets
out of him.

Oh, no, no.

I could never,
ever hurt brian.

He's such a
romantic,

Sensitive,

Delicate soul.

Sheesh! Some guys
get all the adjectives.

I just--i just
can't believe

He could do
such a thing.

The night he proposed
at the observatory,

He gave me this.

"You stir from silence,
exalt my soul.

You are winged grace
personified."

He sure gets a lot of
mileage after that one, huh.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, boy, showtime!

I think I'm going
to take this seat here--

Oh, no, mother, out.

Oh, sh**t. I always
miss the good stuff.

So, honey, whatever
you do, keep the ring.

[Ring]

Angela, I came as soon
as I got your message.

I knew you'd
change your mind.

Rhoda.

Brian.

You didn't tell me
rhoda would be here.

Well, she is.

And I think
you should talk to her.

You owe her
that much.

I'm sorry, rhoda.

This is
my wife's idea.

Brian...

Brian,
I love you,

But I'm not
gonna beg.

Is this what
you really want?

Don't look
at me.

Oh, my.

Hey, rhoda,
where exactly were you

When brian proposed
at the observatory?

I was under venus.

Oh, and brian,
where were you?

I was under mars.

And i...
Looked into your eyes.

And I into yours.

And we kissed
under orion's belt.

I wonder how that
made orion feel.

Looks like I'm going
to get my divorce.

You know,
I'm a lucky guy.

Some people never
get to fall in love.

I got to do it twice.

Thank you.

Hot dog! Brian is gone!

Give me, old salute,
see you, brian!

What's the matter?
You don't look happy.

Oh, I'm
extremely happy.

No, no, you're not.

You're not happy,
what's wrong?

He's gone.

Brian's gone.

But that's what you wanted,
isn't it?

Now, look, angela,
come on, come clean now.

Because, you know,
you've been acting strange

Ever since that guy
showed up,

It's like you really
do have feelings for him.

I don't.

Well, then
what's with you?

I don't understand it
myself.

When I say he's gone

I'm not talking about
that brian,

I'm talking about
this brian.

You call
your left ear brian?

No.

No, the one
in my memories.

You see, I made brian

Into what
I wanted him to be--

My very own poet knight.

And sometimes,
when life seemed bleak,

I just picture him
sweeping down

And whisking me away.

And now that I've
seen the real brian,

My poet knight
is gone...

For good.

Does that
make any sense?

No.

I just--i just wonder

If there'll ever be
another last-minute flight,

A walk
in the desert.

Poetry.

Ahem.

ode to angela.

"In common things,
I'm reminded of her--

"The sun, the moon,
the stars, yes, sir.

"And in the garden,
all of nature sings to her.

"The birds, the bees,
the sycamore trees.

"And the snails,
oh, those snails,

"They leave their
glistening trails.

Beetles, bedbugs,
c*ck--"

All right tony.

I think maybe
I should just quit poetry

Cold turkey for now.

Yeah, I guess so.

This isn't really
finished anyway,

But, uh...how
did you like it?

I loved it.

"Beetles, bedbugs,
spider mites,

Might I love thee
day and night."

Ooh, I'm good!

Tony: who's the boss?
will be back in a moment.

stick around.

What a day.

Yeah,
I bet you never thought

You'd be so happy
to get a divorce, huh?

I think it all started
with some wine,

Some poetry,
and some footsies.

Tony:
you know, angela,

It's funny,
but, I mean, I can understand

The poetry and the wine,

But footsies never did
nothing for me.

Really?
Tony: yeah.

Nothing.

Nothing?

nada.

Good night.

[Theme music playing]