05x17 - Boozin' Buddies

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road
and a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end
was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is up to you,
my friend ♪

♪ nights are long,
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

And now the secret of micelli's
famous four-alarm chili--

Two shakes
of cayenne pepper.

And three more
for us men.



Oh, my eyes
are burning.

Tony: yeah.

Good, good. When your scalp
starts to peel,

It's ready.

Oh, look at the two of you.

Cooking together...

Getting ready for
the big fight tomorrow?

Mom, is that you?

Uh, yeah, angela.

We got a big
afternoon planned.

Big, philly, vinnie,
tiny, tony,

And...johnny.

Who's johnny?

You, you banana.

Angela, we got a lot of work
cut out for us here.

I'm telling you, mona,

Tim collier doesn't
even know I'm alive.

That's because
you're trying too hard.

If you want a man
to pay attention to you

There's only one way,
ignore him.

That's it?

Oh, well,
there are other ways,

But you're only 16.

Angela!

I'm sorry,
it just popped out.

Go, before there
are more explosions

From angela's id.

Okay, well. Um, I'll be home
by midnight.









My final offer.

You drive
a hard bargain.

Bye dad.
Bye sweetheart, be careful.

Bye-bye. Have fun.
Thanks.

Stir!

[Upbeat music playing]

Look at that, look.
Molly, sarah, and emmy

Just standing there
pigging out on chips,

Hoping some guys
will ask them to dance.

How pathetic.

Ooh, look, guys.

Beer.

Have one.

No, thanks, I don't like
the taste of this stuff.

Well, just hold it.
You'll look cool.

Well, hello. Come on,
let's go get noticed.

Samantha: no, no, no, wait.

Samantha: no, no, no, wait.
The only way
to get noticed

The only way
to get noticed

Is just to ignore them.

Oh, please.

It works for mona.

Sounds good.
Yeah.

Don't look.
Just act casual.

Frankly,
I was surprised

At the soviet pull-out
from afghanistan.

I didn't think they get out
by the deadline.

Do you believe
they have dinner rolls?

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Hi, I'm nancy.

I'm philip.
Who's your friend?

Oh, that's samantha.
Sam, meet philip.

Hi.
Not you.

You're kidding.

Well, you want to dance?

Sure.

Lose the roll.

Oh, yeah.

Boy, she's
real choosy.

Oh, you're jealous.

No, I just like to know

A guy can at least
carry on a conversation.

Before I start things out.

Hey.

Hey yourself, cowboy.
Let's dance.

Uh, samantha micelli.
Sophomore.

Fairfield high school,
right?

Oh...hi.

Hi.

Yeah. How'd
you know all that?

I just--i asked
everybody in here

Who was the prettiest
girl in the room.

[Chuckles]
oh. Smooth one, tim.

How'd you know
my name's tim?

Uh...you look
like a tim.

Smooth one, sam.

I don't blame you
for getting rid of that

That's a light beer,
right?

Yeah, I don't
like the taste.

Oh, me neither.

Here.
Really?

Try one of these.

Oh.

This is
a real beer.

Mmm. That's
good, huh?

Uh-huh.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hi, guys.
Um, this is tim.

Hey, tim.
What's up, tim?

Hey, three guys, three girls,
everybody's happy.

Hey, a toast.

Toast.
To friday nights!

All: friday nights!
All right!

♪ 88 bottles of beer
on the wall ♪

♪ 88 bottles of beer ♪

♪ if one
of those bottles ♪

♪ should
happen to fall... ♪

♪ then there'd be
a lot less bottles ♪

♪ of beer on the wall ♪

You're sure
you're okay?

I'm fine.

I don't think
you're fine.

I am fine.

I'm sitting right down
until you believe me.

Okay, you're fine.

Thank you.

I can't get up.

Okay.

Whoa.

Oh, my head
is spinning.

Oh, no.

I can't go in there

And face my father
like this.

He won't know.

He already knows.
How?

Uh...one of
the parents called.

One of the kids from the party
stopped by and told him.

He had me followed.

He's been having me
followed for years.

Don't worry, okay.

Just go in there
and act natural.

How do I look?

Oh. Better
than you smell.

Here.
Suck on this, okay?

It's a breath mint.

It's a candy mint.

It's a breath mint!
It's a candy mint!

It's two mints
in one, here.

Hi, dad.

Hi, mr. Micelli.

Hi, girls,
how was the party?

Great.

Great.

Hold it.

Omelet or french toast
tomorrow?

Ooh, take the omelet.

Omelet.

Okay.

In by 11:00.

Good kid.

Oh, no!

Hey!
Wait your turn!

Boy, sam,

You look... Green.

[Screams]

Hey!

Mom, come here!
Shh!

What? What's
going on?

Nothing.
Sam's sick.

No, she's not.
She's fine. Really.

She looked
like death.

Sam, are you all right?
Sam: ohh!

Sam? Honey, honey,
what's wrong?

Uh...i think
I'm carsick.

You walked
to the party.

I think I'm walk-sick.

I don't think so.

Have you
been drinking?

Just a couple
of diet beers.

Oh, sam.

Angela,
I'm fine, really.

Just don't
tell my dad, okay?

Honey, this is not something
that I can keep from him.

Jonathan: hey, tony!
Sam's drunk!

See?

[Gasping]

Samantha?

It needs a little bit more
chili pepper.

You got it.

Uh, uh, that should
just about do it. See ya.

As soon as it's ready, I will
personally dish you up a bowl.

Men tending
to my every need.

That's the way
god meant it to be.

Progress report. Sam's up
and getting dressed.

Ahh, finalmente!

The princess
arises at 2:00.

Tony,
about last night...

Please angela, do me a favor,

Don't tell me
I was too hard on her.

I wasn't going to.

I was going to tell you
I'm with you all the way.

Really?

Good, because I meant it
when I said

She was irresponsible
and stupid.

It was very powerful.

Well, thank you.
You're welcome.

And I think sam would have
thought so, too,

If she
were conscious.

Well, she's conscious now,
and believe you me,

She's gonna get an earful.

Don't be
too hard on her.

I remember the first time
angela got drunk.

She got this bottle
of whiskey

And went behind the shed
with jeb.

No, that was
an episode of the waltons.

No, no.
It wasn't angela.

It was john boy.

Mother?
Don't worry, angela,

John boy
never drank again.

[Doorbell rings]

[Doorbell rings]
must be the guys.
I'll get it.

Must be the guys.
I'll get it.

Tony, I think I understand
what mother's trying to say.

Put me in a home?

No, no. I think she's saying
that we shouldn't overreact.

See, john boy got drunk,
he had a hangover,

He learned a lesson.
And so will sam.

Well, yeah? Well, sam girl's
getting a whooping from pa.

Yo, guys!
Yo, mona!

Yo, guys!

All: yo, tony!

Yo, guys!
Hello, angela.

Nice to see you.

Pleasant afternoon.

All right, guys, all right.
Let's hang tight,

Hang tight because I got
to go check the chili.

I just want you to know
this batch was made

By none other than johnny.

Well, then, johnny,
it better be good.

All right. I got a 10 spot
that says

Hartnett's kissing canvas
by the eighth round.

A piece of that.
Oh, yeah?

I got 20 says he won't make it
to the 5th.

All right. Come one, mon.

We're not taking money
from a lady.

Oh, yeah.
If you talk the talk,

You got to
walk the walk.

Here's 20,

And there's plenty more
where that came from.

I'm in.

You wish.

I'll get the chips.

Hey, sam!
Sammy!

Hi, guys.

Hey, looking grown up there,
sammy.

Not too grown up
for noogie patrol!

Hi, dad.

I'll just--
angela, would you--

Right.
Okay.

How you feeling?

Ugh. Awful.

I just got
the noogie patrol.

Aw. Good.

Dad, look, I'm sorry--
sam, sam, sam, sam.

That's just not going
to cut it, sam.

That just not going to cut it.
I'm mad, sam. I'm real mad.

You're grounded
for a month.

I mean, what did you think
you were you doing?

I don't know.

You don't know sam?
You don't know?

Well, know this young lady.

You will not see
those kids anymore,

You will not go
to anymore parties like that,

And you will never ever
drink again, end of story.

Dad, everybody was drinking.

Oh, everybody
was drinking, huh?

Everybody was drinking, huh?

Well, if everybody--

If everybody jumped off
a bridge, would you?

If everybody ran into
a brick wall, would you?

If everybody ran out and get
themselves a tattoo, would you?

Forget the last one.

Dad, I was at a party.
What was I supposed to do?

Drink milk.
It does your body good.

You don't understand.

I don't have
to understand, sam.

There's no
discussion here.

You do--

Sam, you don't need booze
to have a good time.

Tony, want a beer?
Yeah.

And here's the final word
on this, young lady.

You--

Oh, I get it. I get it.

I see what
you're thinking.

I mean, I can drink
and you can't, right?

Well, there's a reason
for that, sam.

And the reason is I happen
to be a responsible adult.

And those people
in there

They happen to be
responsible adults.

[Mona belches]

Would you come on!

Mona: excuse me.

The final word
on this is,

As I was saying.
As responsible adults,

We know
you don't need beer

To have a good time.

Sure, dad.

Okay, okay.
We won't drink.

Hey guys,

Let's try something different
this afternoon, okay?

All right.
Let's watch the fight--

Are you ready
for this?

Without beer.

Well, that's
a wonderful idea.

Really.
Come on, mother.

Help me get the fellas
some nice pink lemonade.

Oh, yes. The fellas
will like that a lot.

What do you say,
guys?

Well, guys,
say something.

Who wants
a brewskie?

I do.
No! You don't.

Yes, I do!
No, you don't!

Yes, I do!

Gee whiz!

Look, go with me
on this, huh,

I'm trying
to make a point.

Sam got smashed
last night.

Hey, I'm not kidding here.

Hold on. I think I know
what tony's feeling here.

Last year, my willie
had an alcohol problem.

Willie started drinking?

No. Knocking over liquor stores.

Very funny.
Very funny.

Oh, come on. Lossen up.
It was a joke, tony.

If you don't want us to drink,
we won't drink.

Guys, I appreciate it.

Really. I do. Thank you.

Nice pink lemonade
for the fight fans.

One for the big guy,
yeah. Thanks mon.

And one for vinnie.

There we go.

Mmm. Lemonade.
A mighty fine drink.

Mmm. Thirst quencher
is right.

Yeah, yeah.

And the vitamins
are an added bonus

To the fruit-juicy
goodness.

Angela: who wants more?

Oh, I do. I do.

Oh, angela?
Yeah?

Can I have
chocolate milk?

Do you want a straw?

Ooh, yeah.

A bendy one.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be larry.

We're going to watch the fight
from my place.

Hey, why do you need
larry?

You got
three studs here.

Need I say more?

Ready, mona?
You bet.

All right, studs. All right.
The fight is going to start.

Here we go.
Okay.

Man: and we'll start round one
right after this.

There's always--

They drag
this out.

Man: you've just
spent a month

carving a fifth face
on mt. Rushmore,

and you've worked up
a man-size thirst.

you reach for a beer,

a big, luscious,
man-sized beer.

a windy city beer.

[Can top pops]

[Beer being poured]

Man: ahh!

windy city beer,

the beer you need

when you really
need a beer.

I really need a beer.

Oh, come on.
Guys, what are you doing?

This.
Oh, guys. Come on.

What about sam? I'm trying
to set an example here.

Well, you're a little late.
She's grown up with us.

So, what we're doing here
is no big secret.

I mean, that's right. Besides,
she's upstairs anyway.

And we came to party.
Yeah, right.

[Bell rings]

All right, fight's starting.
Let's party.

All right. All right.
Here we go.

Move. Move.

Pick the gloves up.
Up.

Oh, oh. He's down.

Get up.
Come on.

He's up.
All right.

All right.

[Doorbell rings]

Move now.
Move.

Don't get up.

I'll get it.

Hi, sam.
Hi guys.

How are you feeling?
Don't ask.

Dad, we're going
to be up--

Are you having
a good time?

Tony: oh, samantha.
I--

I didn't even realize
I had--

It really was
an accident--

It was just like--
I had it in my hand.

I blew it.

Brother.
le frere.

Mother.
la mere.

Father.

le jerk, le worm,
le hypocrite.

Come on, sam.

No. I can't study.
I can't.

I'm so mad, and my head
is really pounding.

Well, I know
just what you need.

Whoa. Where'd
you get that?

My folks'
liquor cabinet.

They were saving it
for a romantic evening together.

But it's pretty much
been gathering dust

Since the divorce.

Here.
Oh, please.

I can't look at it.
I'm getting sick.

Hey, it's the best cure
for a hangover.

You know, the hair of the dog
that bit you.

But her dad's
just downstairs.

Yeah.

Watching a fight
and chugging beer.

Shall I pour?

Allow me.

Okay. I've no--

Here. Give it to me.

Okay.

It's moving.

Okay, you guys, stand back.
It's going to blow.

[Knock on door]
tony: sam?

Oh, no.

Hide it. Hide it.
Where?

Closet.
Uh...give it.

Just a sec!

Heck!

You okay?

Oh, yeah.
Just hitting le livre.

Both: oui, oui.

Well, uh...

I came to talk to you
about... Everything.

Oops. Father-daughter
stuff.

We'll leave you two alone.
Hold it.

I want you two girls
to hear this, too.

Sit down.

Look, sam, uh...

When you
came home drunk,

I didn't want to hear
any excuses,

And I still don't,

But I've been doing
some thinking.

And maybe I understand
a little bit

About why you did
what you did.

Really?
Yeah.

I think, it's kind of unfair
of me giving you lectures

About not going along
with your friends,

And I can't even
do it myself.

That's cool,
mr. Micelli.

I'm not done yet.

That's cool, too.

I mean, it's not a perfect
world, sam. If it were,

I wouldn't be drinking
and telling you not to.

But sam, the bottom line

Is I don't
want you drinking.

It's ill*gal.
And it's dangerous, sweetheart.

Got it, dad.

Yeah. Well, I know
it's easy for you

To say that now
in front of your dad.

But the next party
you're at,

You're gonna be under a lot of
pressure from your friends.

But this peer pressure
stuff is baloney

For both of us,

Because in the end,

The choice
is always yours.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

And just promise me
one more thing

So I that can sleep
at night.

If you do decide
to be a dope and drink--

And if you do,
I'll k*ll you--

Don't drive.

I promise, dad.

Okay. All right.

Oh. And promise me
just one more thing.

If you're with
any other dopes,

And they decide
to drink--

And if they do,
I'll k*ll them, too--

You won't get into
their cars either.

Okay. I promise.

The same goes for you.

It's a deal, honey.

All right.

I can't believe
your dad said

It's okay to drink.

No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

What I'm trying
to say

Is I want sam
to be responsible,

And I want her to use
her own judgment,

And I want her to know that--

[Cork pops]

I want her to know
that I trust her.

Oh, boy,
that was close.

Oh.

Hold it, nance.

I don't want any.

So what, you're never
going to drink again?

So, what about
greg's party?

I'll deal with that
when the time comes.

But right now,
I don't want any, okay?

Okay.

Tony: who's the boss?
will be back in a moment.

stick around.

Okay. Here we go.

Hi. How'd the guys
like my chili?

Oh, buddy. The fight ended
after just two rounds.

They never got a chance
to taste it.

Angela: yeah.
Just leaves more for me.

[Tony chuckling]

I don't know.

Needs a little bit
more red pepper?

[Theme music playing]