02x23 - There's No Business Like Shoe Business

[bunniefuu]

♪ There is more to life
than what you're living

♪ So take a chance
and face the wind

♪ An open road
and a road that's hidden

♪ Brand new life
around the bend

♪ There were times
I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail
and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take
and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you
my friend

♪ Nights are long
but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life
around the bend ♪

Hello, everybody. I'm home.

Hello.

Hello. I'm Angela Bower.

I'm Norman Bevins.

I live here.

I don't.

Um, I know Mona.

Oh! Doesn't everybody?

Pardon me,

don't you find
those shoes restrictive?

Oh, no.
Actually, not these, no.

I do have
this pair of red pumps

that, sort of, pinch me...

Will you excuse me
for a moment?

Why is there a barefoot man
in my living room?

The kitchen floor
was too cold for him.

That is Norman.
He is the number one

designer of shoes at Hadley's.

But I don't know,
somehow or another,

lately he's lost
his enthusiasm.

He's also lost his shoes.

I know. Norman is the toughest
case of my career.

Oh, well, Mother,
I'm sure you can handle it.

And after all, you're the best
personnel director

that Hadley's has ever had.

That's true,

but then, of course, I'm
the only one they've ever had.

See, I thought I was making
real headway with Norman.

Everybody was so looking
forward to his new design,

and then...

What do you think?

Hmm?

If Tina Turner goes out for
the Knicks, you got the shoe.

What's with this guy?

Well, if you ask me,

I would call it a classic
case of repressed creativity.

How do you know that?

Mona told me.

See, we were right
in the middle of a session

when the factory closed
for the night

and I don't know, he just
seemed so depressed,

I... I hated to send him away.

Mother, may I make
a suggestion?

Yes, dear?

Well, since he's here, maybe
he should talk to somebody

who's outside
of the shoe business.

Someone who's successful.

Someone who's leading
a full well-balanced life.

That's a great idea.

Come on, Tony.

The little one goes to market.

Uh, Norman.

Norman, I believe that
you know Angela and Tony.

Yo, Norman.

And I thought, Norman, that we

should all have a little chat.

Oh, Mona, I don't wanna lay
my problems on these people.

I'm sick of designing
sensible shoes.

Shorter heels, thicker soles,
more support, drabber colors.

I'm telling you, it's
the bland leading the bland.

Norman would like to add
some meaning to his life.

Uh, what...
What you do is so important.

Shoes provide a wonderful
service for humanity.

She's right, you know.

Without them how would you
cover up the holes
in your socks?

Shoes don't make holes,
people do.

Okay.

Norman, do you know
what I think?

I think that you need
variety in your life, huh?

I mean, take Tony...

Tony, for example, I mean,
all day long he scrubs,

Pretty amazing, aren't I?

I don't like baseball,

and I wouldn't wanna be
president of anything.

Except maybe Uganda.

Call me crazy.

Uh, no, Norman,
I would never do that.

You see, in my profession, we
have much longer words for it.

The point is, Norman,

there's a great big
beautiful world out there.

All you gotta do
is open your eyes and see it.

All I see are cowhide uppers.

Come on, Norman, you must have
other interests or hobbies.

Music, literature...

An ant farm.

Well, now that
you've brought it up,

there is one thing
I always dreamed of.

I guess you'd call it
a secret fantasy.

Does it involve
high-heeled sneakers?

All right, Norman. Come on,
share it with us. What is it?

No, you're just gonna laugh.

Hey, no, no, no, hey, hey, h*.
What? Are you kidding me?

You're among friends here,
come on.

All right.

Do you see it?

No, no, no. Here, here.

My resemblance
to Clint Eastwood.

Which movie?

All of them.

Ever since I saw him blow that
guy away in Dirty Harry,

I always dreamed
of being a serious actor.

Well, Norman, why don't you
follow your dream, hmm?

The Fairfield Community
Theater is always looking
for talent.

Yeah, this spring, they're
doing Death of a Salesman.

I could do death.

This summer...

This summer they're doing
Barefoot in the Park.

You're a shoo-in.

Oh, you've really got me
excited now.

Oh! Norman...

Here.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you, all.

You made my day.

Dirty Norman.

♪ Ba da da da da dum

♪ Ba da da tadadum

Bravo!

-Bravo!
-Oh!

He's gonna be the best dancer
in the whole

-school dance club.
-Now that's...

Because my daughter's teaching
him all my moves, hey.

How about another number, Sam?

Gee, Jonathan, do you think
you can afford it?

You're already in the hole
for a buck 50.

A buck 50?

Dips were extra.

It's all your fault!

I've never seen this lady
before in my life.

And look,
the kid's got blue eyes.

You're Mona Robinson,
aren't you?

Yes.

I'm Mrs. Norman Bevins.

This is my son, Clint Bevins.

I just stopped in
to let you know

that you've ruined our lives.

Oh, now, now, be calm,
be calm. Come on.

Let's just start
at the beginning.

I'm Mrs. Norman Bevins.

This is my son, Clint Bevins.

-I just stopped in to...
-I... I meant...

I meant, from the part
where I ruined your life.

Norman followed your advice.

He quit his job

to follow his dream.

Oh, no, you mean,
he went to Uganda?

No.

Hollywood.

Oh, that's worse.

Libby, I don't understand
how Norman could just

fly off to Hollywood
without advance notice.

He went stand-by.

He... He wanted
Clint and me to come.

Oh, but California's
no place for us.

All those earthquakes...

Mud slides...

Sushi bars.

Hey, let me hold the baby.

This... This way you could cry
with both hands, all right.

Hey, what do you say,
buddy boy?

Hey, what could I say?
I'm good with kids.

Kookety-kookety-kookety-koo.

Well, I guess
that says it all.

Have you spoken to Norman
since he left?

Yes, but it's no use.

He won't come home.

I'm so worried.

All those beautiful starlets
throwing themselves

at my husband.

You know,
I saw Hollywood Wives.

Libby...

Libby, I think you should
talk to Norman in person.

You mean go to Los Angeles?

Yes!

Oh, I, I couldn't do that.

It's such a big city.

Well, New York is a big city,
you've been there,

-haven't you?
-No!

What now, counselor?

Would you like
something to drink?

Ooh, oh, she's good.

She's good.

Oh, uh, oh, no,
I, I don't drink.

Well, I meant tea or coffee.

Those are stimulants.

Water?

Too many chemicals.

Do you have a diet cola?

I'll help you, Mother.

Life stinks.

Okay, you hold your nose.

We'll try and get
through this together.

Angela, Angela,
what have I done here?

I mean, I have ruined
an employee's career.

I've torn his family apart.

Why did I ever get involved
in this in the first place?

Because it's your job, Mother,
and because you care.

Well, maybe I'm no good
at my job.

Maybe I can't do anything.

Maybe I should
go into advertising.

Mother, if this were
my problem,

you'd know what to do
and you would tell me.

I would, wouldn't I?

What would I say?

You'd say, "You sure made
a mess of things,

"and it's your job to go
straighten it out."

Uh-huh, and I'd be right, too.

Then what would I say?

And then you would say,

"You're a competent person.

"You get on that plane
and you go out to California

"and you talk to Norman."

I am brilliant, aren't I?

Anything else?

Yeah, you'd probably top it
off with a joke about my hair.

Oh.

You know,
it's really very good advice,

and I'm glad I thought of it.

Uh, no, never mind.

All right, that about
wraps it up, buddy.

Hey, here you go, Clint.

He's all right.
What a big boy he is, uh...

Here.

Libby.

Libby, I want you
to pack your bags.

We are going to get on a plane

and we're going out
to Hollywood,

and we're going
to bring Norman back.

We?

You mean,
you'd go there with me?

Well, of course I would.

Would you go alone?

No, Libby. I need you.

Norman is out there
being tempted

by bouncing beach girls
and shapely starlets.

We've got to get out there
and fight fire with...

...whatever we've got.

Maybe you're right.

Oh! Oh, but I can't take Clint
on the plane.

Oh, Libby, Clint will be fine.
You will be fine.

Air travel is the safest form
of transportation.

Oh, but what if he cries
during the movie,

and they ask me
to step outside?

Uh, don't you know
anybody here

that could help
take care of him?

Oh, I... I have
no other family other than...

...Norman.

Well, I know somebody
who's great with children.

Somebody who's experienced,
responsible and mature.

What's everybody looking at?

♪ Me and my shadow

♪ Strolling down the avenue

Hey, here's a little feather.

You wanna dust?
Here, you dust. Come on.

Clinton, can you dust?

Can you?

Ah, tell you what,
how 'bout pillow plumping?

Can you plump pillows?

Look at this here, from
underneath, plump-plump-plump,

plump-plump-plump.

Can you say "plump"?

We'll work on it.

Let's take a break, huh?

Coming in for a landing.

Wee!

How's that, huh?

You know Clint,
you're not too talkative.

How 'bout this?
How 'bout this?

There once was a baby
named Clint,

whose belly-button
didn't have any lint.

How about this, uh...

How 'bout this, here.

♪ Hush little baby

♪ Don't say a word

♪ Tony's gonna buy you
a mockingbird

♪ If that mockingbird
don't sing

♪ Tony's gonna buy you
a diamond ring ♪

I hope the bird sings.

Can't afford the ring.
You get it?

Hi, Tony!

Oh, hi, Angela!

What are you doing home
so early?

Early? It's almost lunch time.

Come on,
it's not even noon yet.

How can you leave your place
so early?

Because I am the president.

Oh, I see you found
Jonathan's old cradle.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-You remember when you used to
rock Samantha?
-Yeah.

Well, we didn't... We didn't
really have a cradle,

but my daughter
had the best laundry basket

in the neighborhood.

Except on wash day,

when we have to move her
to the dresser drawers.

Was that thing tough to rock.

Oh! Look.

Look what I bought
for my special boy.

Look, he likes it!

Oh! Aww...

You have the cutest
little eyes, and

the cutest little nose,

-and the cutest...
-Angela! Angela!

-...little tummy-wummy.
-Angela! Angela!

You're making
a fool of yourself.

Oh, oh look, you dwopped
your wittle ducky-wucky.

Come on, Libby,
come on, don't worry

we'll get him back.

Mona Robinson
always gets her man.

It's too late.

He's already in a real
Hollywood movie of the week.

Norman...

Sweetheart...

I need you.

This must be his big entrance.

Here's a super sandwich
for a super star.

It's about time.

Where's my pickle?

Isn't it in there?

No.

And this isn't corn beef.
This is pastrami.

You call yourself a gofer?

He's not even an actor.

He's just a flunkey.

Well this is gonna be
easier than I thought.

We're gonna have him
out of here and back

on the next plane.

Libby, you're here.

I want you to come home.

Are you kidding I got a great
job at a real Hollywood deli.

Did you see
who just talked to me?

She's a big star.

She knows Sally Struthers.

Norman, I am a counselor

and I don't want to get
too technical on you,

but you're acting like a jerk.

Mona, what about the dream?

Norman,

if you wanted to quit your job
and deliver sandwiches,

well, what's wrong
with the deli back home?

Because they don't
have a sandwich

named after Pernell Roberts.

Libby, this is Hollywood.

I'm making important contacts,

I am meeting
artistic, sensitive people.

You call this a script?

I wouldn't line
a bird cage with it.

Get me the producers.

And stop fussing with my hair,
you little twit.

Isn't she something?

No inhibitions.

Norman, this is crazy.

Mona, didn't you ever do
anything crazy before?

Well, a lot of people think
everything I do is crazy.

Like, for instance,

when I went back
to college at my age,

a lot of people thought I was
one brick short of a load.

Of course, they did like
the way it was stacked.

Norman,

where is my pickle?

What should I do?

Oh, to hell with it,

Hadley's can get
another shoe designer.

Norman,

look, if this is what you
really want to do

with your life, well,

I say, go for it.

Libby?

Come on, Libby,

shoes were meant to be a pair.

Well,

go give the lady her...

Pickle.

I love Hollywood endings.

Okay, ready, here we are.

All right now wait, wait...
Toe-knee.

There you go.

You get this now,

listen now,
listen again, listen again.

This is your toe and this is
your knee, it makes Toe-knee.

You get that...

All right, let's try it
one more time.

Toe-knee.

Tony.

Come on, come on, say it,

come on, anybody can say it.

ANGELA: Tony!

See?

Hi, ya, baby.

Hi, yourself, cutie.

I was talking to Clint.

Can I feed him?

No, come on.

No, please, please, really.

Last time before Norman
and Libby come and get him.

All right,
all right, all right.

Little surfer boy is off
to California, huh, kid.

and you will get
a big surprise!

-I can't believe this.
-What?

Babies going for
that cutesy stuff.

Let me show you
how this is done.

Let me just show you.

Loaded with delicious.

Packed with flavor.

ANGELA: Oh!

Action-adventure is in.

Hey, did you hear that?

What?

The kid just said Tony.

I don't think so.

No, Angela, I'm serious.

I think he's getting ready
to say it again...

Hey, it's a start.

Tony, you know,
you are wonderful.

Look how you do
everything for this baby.

You know, you would make
a wonderful mother.

-Angela, what about you?
-You dash in from the office,

spend a minute with the kid,
make a mess.

You'd be a great father.

I'm going to miss having
a baby around.

Yeah,

it's kind of fun having
someone to do housework with.

Hey, Angela, you,

you ever think
about having another one?

A baby?

I'd love to,

but how?

I'll tell you later,

not in front of the kid.

TONY: Who's the Boss?
will be back in a moment.
Stick around.

I guess we won't be needing
this stuff for a while huh?

I guess the next baby around
here will be Samantha's.

What do you mean?
I'll k*ll him.

In several years
when she gets married.

You'd be a grandfather.

Grandpa Tony.

I like it.

Oh, it sure is quiet around
here without the Clintster.

She put me out of business.

How can you sell it when

someone's out there
giving it away?

Grandpa, do you,
still have a tango in you?

I think I got one.