Stabby Chic (2026)

[bunniefuu]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

NARRATOR: Somewhere in a realm

that exists parallel to Earth--

[ROARS]

NARRATOR: --between

heaven and hell,

exists a being that rules

over all the garbage, and all

the trash cans, and

all the dumpsters,

all the other places

that waste-like place.

TRASHULA: [ROARS]

NARRATOR: This being is

known with universal fear.

Its name?

Trashula.

TRASHULA: [ROARS]

[ROCK MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[ROCK MUSIC]

LESTER: The following

tale you're about to see

is one that might be just too

fantastical to be believed.

It involves a k*ller dumpster,

k*ller trash, blood, gore,

and a Rumpelstiltskin

figure named Ard Buckets.

What you're about to witness

is the erstwhile story

of a man who unwittingly

found himself

entering a universe of

garbage few knew exists.

So sit back and enjoy this story

that some say is 100% true.

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

ELLEN (ON PHONE): Hey,

James, this is Ellen.

Your last payment

didn't come through.

That's OK, though.

Can you just tack it

on to the next one?

I know that's coming due soon.

I really don't want you to get

hit with any more penalties.

So how are things?

Crazy not being

married anymore, huh?

That reminds me, the lump sum,

you were supposed to pay was

$30,000.

To date, you've only managed

to pay $25,000 of that.

I really don't want

to be a stickler here,

but that is what the judge

said that you owe me.

All right, you don't

need to call me back.

I know you're busy.

Just please take care

of that financial stuff

so we can move past this.

[SIGHS] This is bad.

This is really, really bad.

STEPHEN (ON PHONE): Hello,

James, it's Stephen.

I just spoke with

Ellen's attorney.

We went back and

forth on everything.

I made sure all of your

concerns were known.

I also made it

clear that we were

gonna fight them tooth

and nail on everything,

which is exactly what I did

for the last 10 minutes.

So it looks like Ellen's gonna

get everything she wants.

They made a few

concessions in some areas.

But overall, she's

gonna get everything.

So I'm sorry things

didn't go more our way.

I'll have Marie

from my office call

you to set up a payment plan.

Talk soon, and be

good to yourself.

It can always be worse, right?

OK, bubba.

[SIGHS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

What is that guy doing?

Thief.

I gotta get this

place cleaned up.

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[SHOUTING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[SHOUTING]

[GROANING]

[SHOUTING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SCREAMING]

JAMES: Oh, my gosh!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Listen, I don't think

you guys really are

comprehending what I'm saying.

I just saw a man get beheaded!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[SCREAMS]

His head was cut off!

You think it was an owl?

OK, that's what it was.

An owl beheaded somebody.

Yeah, that's how it works.

That's what owls are known for.

Not for being on

trees saying, hoo.

Would you listen to me and take

me seriously for one minute?

Can I at least

give you my address

so someone can come

out and see this?

Why would I give you my address?

Because I just told you.

No, a man was beheaded outside.

There's no body.

It's just the head.

And I don't even

know if that's there.

Could you at least come down

and launch an investigation?

Look, I'm a taxpayer.

I know what my services

are available to me,

and this is certainly

one of them.

When somebody calls to tell you

that they've been-- someone's

been decapitated, that

might be something

you want to come

out and investigate.

Does that make sense?

As that, I see it this way, as

you should see it the same way.

That I am your

boss, technically.

And if you-- it's not an owl.

Would you quit

saying it's an owl?

I'm the one who

pays your salary.

Not technically

comes out of my--

no, but my taxpayer dollars do.

You're arguing with me

with a decapitation.

Do you realize that you're

doing that right now?

This is your best thinking,

is to argue with me

about somebody who

was decapitated.

So I know what I saw.

I saw somebody get decapitated.

Now, would you please

send someone down

for an investigation?

Because to be honest-- hello?

Hello?

Everything in my life,

everything in my life, you know?

Everything in my life.

Always something.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

In what seems to be

the ultimate disconnect

from reality, a man named James

Lomie, called the Poohbell

Police, saying that he

witnessed a dumpster decapitate

another human being.

After insisting to the police

that he, in fact, witnessed

the dumpster brandish a blade

and slice off a man's head,

the police promptly placed a

wellness check on Mr. Lomie.

After talking with

him for an hour,

the officer said that,

while not a prank,

Lomie appears to have too

many things wrong with him

for the officers to offer

any meaningful help.

They suggested he, quote, "Make

some friends, get out more,

and see a dentist," end quote.

Next up in sports, it's a

dumpster fire out there, folks.

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

James, listen to me, please.

I know, I know that

this is a tough time.

Divorce is absolutely

devastating.

You know your mother

and I went through this.

Your grandfather and

grandmother went through this.

This will tear you apart.

It is unbelievably tough

for everybody involved.

Every day seems to be so tough.

You wake up, and you've got

this heavy weight of divorce

on your back.

But you know what?

You will get through it.

It will be tough.

Every day will be a

little bit better.

You see some light through

the end of the tunnel.

I'm saying this now, it

probably is going in one ear

and out the other.

But trust me, I've run that way.

I've been that way.

I've taken that road.

You will get through this.

I know that you're

looking at me.

I know you've got

big academic degrees.

I know you're a professor.

You don't believe me.

But you're not that smart

when it comes to divorce.

I know divorce.

You don't.

And I'll tell you, if you

don't change your ways,

if you don't get out of this

funk that you're in day in

and day out, your whole

life is gonna be destroyed.

Your whole life will be a funk.

And you don't want that, James.

You don't want that.

Get out of this funk.

Life will be better.

Turn the light back on.

I can tell, the way

you've been acting,

your life is in the

dump, is in a dump.

It's in a dumpster.

It's been thrown away.

But we can resurrect that.

JAMES: It's-- I understand

what you're saying.

And what you believe that

I'm going through, part of it

might be right.

But I don't think it's all

that bad as what you're saying.

It-- I have a life, sort of.

It's not the kind of

thing that-- like,

that I can just

come out of and just

be this person that

everybody expects me to be.

I've had

accomplishments, I think.

I've done good things.

I'm a good person.

I don't see what the

problem really is.

BOONE: James, you're not

living in the real world.

You don't know what

you're talking about.

You're trying to cover up the

hurt, the mess, that you've

created in your life

with this divorce.

You don't know what

you're talking about.

You have to listen.

As I've said before, your

life is in the dumper.

It's in the dumpster

out in the back.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SNORING]

[MUMBLES]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Ah!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

No.

No.

Ah!

No, no.

No.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Ah!

No.

[SNORES] No.

No.

Garbage dumpster.

No.

[SCREAMS]

[SNORES] No.

No.

No.

Stop it.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Stop.

[SIGHS]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[MUMBLING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SNORES] Oh.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

What now?

Ah!

Oh, no.

No.

Ah!

No more.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

Oh, oh.

[SNORES]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Ah!

[GASPS]

[GROANS]

[PANTING]

[SIREN BLARING FAINTLY]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

JAMES (VOICEOVER): Oh, Lord.

Oh, Lord.

Oh, for the love of God.

This dumpster is tied

somehow to an ancient tribe.

It was ruled by an

evil spirit called--

Trashula.

TRASHULA: [ROARS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ROARS]

[ROARS]

NARRATOR: It was a

being of lightning.

It decimated anything

in its way and wouldn't

stop until it created

untold carnage on the world.

It was Trashula.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

JAMES (VOICEOVER): Oh, Lord.

It can take on many forms.

So what I'm looking at here is

it means anything can be alive.

It can possess

inanimate objects.

It can make them sentient.

Does that mean the food in

your stomach could be alive?

Well, I guess you would

have to dumpster dive.

I dumpster dived once.

I didn't like it.

Didn't care for it.

Oh, wow.

This is bad.

This is very, very bad.

I'm scared!

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

This is not good.

What is in that dumpster?

JAMES: I want to show you

some of this stuff, and it's--

I know what you're

gonna say, Dad.

This is evidence

of this dumpster.

This evidence here

is gonna show you

that this dumpster is possessed.

There's something going

on with this dumpster.

It's not the kind

of thing where it's

like, oh, the trash man just

comes and takes out-- no,

there's not like, somebody

left something in there.

This is a possessed dumpster.

It brings inanimate objects

to life, this dumpster does.

I mean, look at

this evidence here.

I saw this dumpster-- look it.

I saw this dumpster

k*ll someone.

Dad, I'm not kidding.

It's something that

people need to look into.

This isn't-- this isn't a joke.

James, I didn't

believe, I don't believe,

how this divorce has

warped your brain.

For you to believe that

a dumpster in the back

is possessed, you are

sicker than I thought.

James, to think that a dumpster

at your apartment is possessed,

the sickness goes deeper.

I thought divorce would

warp you a little bit.

But to have you believe that

the dumpster in your apartment

is possessed and

is k*lling people,

you are sicker than I thought.

There's evidence here that's

showing that something's going

on, and no one's believing me.

BOONE: It's in your head.

It's not in the dumpster

near your apartment.

It's in your head.

I believe that.

I know what I'm

talking about, and I need

people to take me seriously.

And why you don't

take me seriously?

James, I have a solution.

Get your head out of the

dumpster in your apartment

and get dating.

You need to get out.

Get out, meet people, meet

girls, go to some dating sites,

go to a church social, but

get out of your apartment.

Get out of the dumpster

that's in your head,

and meet people,

and get out there.

It's warping your mind.

James, it's in your head.

You need to leave your

dumpster and your apartment

behind, open the door,

get out into the world,

start meeting people.

The divorce is done, is over.

Get meeting people.

You need to start healing your

brain from this stupid, stupid--

James, you're supposed to

be an intelligent professor.

For you to believe that the

dumpster in your apartment

is haunted, I've met some

dumb professors in my life.

I've had some dumb

professors in my life.

This might be the dumbest.

You might be the

dumbest professor

ever because you're believing

this stupid, stupid thinking

about a possessed dumpster

in your apartment.

I learned about this

being, and this being

is called Trashula.

Your mind is completely

gone for you to believe that.

If you don't stop

this, your life

forever will be in the dumper.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

James Lomie was escorted out

of a Poohbell police station

when he became

aggressive and loud,

regarding claims of a

murderous garbage dumpster.

Even though Mr. Lomie had

already spoken to police,

he insisted on talking

with the Chief of Police

in order to discuss

his findings.

BABY: [CRIES]

When not granted an audience,

he became loud and aggressive,

and was removed from

the police station,

but vowed to keep his

investigation going.

[SIREN BLARING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

JAMES: [SIGHS]

Donuts always make

me feel better.

I'm gonna go take

a look at that.

[BEEPING]

[WHIRRING]

[BEEPING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANS]

[GROANING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

No.

[GROANING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[GROANS]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

Oh!

What are you doing?

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

Wow, this is a big dumpster.

I don't believe this.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

Got attacked with trash bags?

What's that?

Oh.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[WHIRRING]

Whoa.

How big is this trash can?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[WHIRRING]

Whoa.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

A golden grabber?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

ARD: [GROWLING]

Hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

ARD: [GROWLING]

JAMES: Hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

ARD: What?

JAMES: Wake up.

Hey, wake up.

ARD: What's going on?

JAMES: Come on!

ARD: What?

Who is it?

Oh.

JAMES: Here, let me help you.

ARD: Oh, God.

Oh, here, here.

ARD: Help me up, young man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah of course.

Oh.

Hey.

Well, you're a

sight for sore eyes.

I'm gonna say the same thing.

It's good to see you.

Well, it's good

to see you, too.

What's your name?

My name's Ard Buckets.

Ard Buckets.

Well, nice to meet you, Ard.

And who are you, my young man?

My name's James Gump.

James Gump.

It is great to meet you.

It's great to see you.

ARD: Oh, I haven't

seen anyone in--

I can't remember how long.

JAMES: Well, I've been walking

around here a long time.

Look at this.

I found this golden grabber.

What do you use it for?

Well, you use it for--

for grabbing stuff.

Oh, but it's golden.

It's golden.

Is it special?

JAMES: I would think so.

Oh.

JAMES: It looks special.

Ard, how long have

you been in here?

ARD: Well, as I think about it,

from the rooster to the crow.

Yeah.

And as the crow flies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Down the road.

Yeah.

And if you look on a map.

And if you take all your bushels

and put them in a basket.

Yeah.

And if you count your

chickens before they hatch.

It's been a long time.

Now, how did you get

inside the dumpster?

So I walked by the dumpster.

I'm looking in it.

And I put my hand

right on the dumpster.

And boom, I'm here.

Well, that's exactly

what happened to me.

I saw a dumpster.

And as I got closer, I

just touched the side,

and I was inside.

JAMES: And that must have

been a long time ago.

As I remember, as the donkey

honks and the horse neighs.

Yeah.

It's been a long time.

It sounds like it.

That's a-- a donkey

honk and a horse neighs,

that sounds like a long time.

Did you just get here?

Yeah, I mean,

not too long ago.

You've probably missed

out on a lot of stuff.

Oh, maybe.

They got this new

thing called cell phones.

What you do is you

carry them with you.

I got one too.

You got one.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

That's amazing.

It's checking my

heart rate right now.

JAMES: Oh, well, yeah,

you've got a good one there.

Oh.

Well, you definitely missed

this other thing called AI?

Oh, no, I got AI too.

See, the app right there?

I was doing prompts

just the other day,

and it was reading me

stories I'd heard about.

JAMES: Right.

OK.

See, I got this

thing right here.

You got that app.

It does a picture

of me every day.

Look, I got no

hair and no beard.

Look at that.

That looks great.

That's my favorite.

You're a handsome man.

Thank you.

You know, you did miss

out on the last election.

Let me tell you, that

President that we got.

Oh.

Oh, I'll stop you there.

OK.

I know exactly

who you're talking.

[LAUGHTER]

Yee, yee, yee, yee,

yee, yoo, yeah, yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh.

Oh.

You know what?

I'm gonna say this early

on in our relationship,

but I like you.

I think I agree.

I like you too.

You know what we

should do, you and I?

What's that?

Let's team up.

Let's figure this place out.

What do you say?

Hey, there's room for two.

Let's do it, my friend.

Yeah.

ARD: There we go.

Ard and James

gonna rule the world.

ARD: It's got a ring to it.

I like it.

JAMES: I like it, too.

The President.

[LAUGHTER]

ARD: Oh.

[LAUGHTER]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Watch your step here, now.

All right, all right.

Well, it's good to

have a friend now.

ARD: We're gonna

make a great team.

We're gonna make a great team.

Yeah, it's nice to have

somebody in the same thing.

Yeah, this is gonna be fun.

Lost in this world together,

but we're finding our way.

We are finding our way.

And this place, this is amazing.

This is a dumpster.

Something peculiar

about this place.

Yeah.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

JAMES: Do you like pizza?

ARD: What?

What's that.

JAMES: You know, pizza.

ARD: I don't know what that is.

Is that food?

JAMES: Yeah, it's bread,

and cheese, and dough, and--

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

Oh!

Oh!

JAMES: Oh.

[GROANING] Oh, God.

[GROANING]

JAMES: Ah!

Oh.

God!

What are you trying to do?

[GROANS]

Let us live, please.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANS]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

Oh, son of a g*n.

Oh, God.

Sapsucker.

[GROANING]

[GROANING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Ah.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

You all right, Ard?

Oh.

Are you OK?

My friend.

Oh, yeah.

You saved my life.

Wow, it was crazy.

You all right?

Did it get you?

I think you--

I think you were just in time.

Oh.

ARD: I owe you one of those--

what'd you call it?

It's the bread and the sauce.

Pizza.

[BOOM]

[WHIRRING]

[BOOM]

[BOOM]

What just happened?

I don't know.

Where are we?

ARD: I-- I don't think I've

seen this place before.

JAMES: Well, you're the walker.

You should see everything.

You haven't seen this?

ARD: No, it's new to me.

Oh.

There's a lot going on here.

How big is this dumpster?

I can tell you

this, it's not small.

So what do we do now?

Boy, I think what we

need to do, we gotta walk.

Pick a direction.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

Well, this is crazy.

This is a dumpster.

It's gotta be the

biggest one in the world.

JAMES: Easily the

biggest one in the world.

But how-- how did they do this?

I don't know.

And there's even airplanes.

Years and years ago,

I was a pilot myself.

You were?

ARD: I flew a plane

just like that.

Oh, it's like the

size of 10 dumpsters.

I was in enemy

territory, and I crash

landed into some trees

just like these ones.

I walked, and walked,

and walked, and walked,

and walked until I found a lake.

JAMES: A lake.

And there were-- there

were people having a picnic.

Yeah.

ARD: And they were having their

annual bellyflop competition.

JAMES: Oh, yeah, that's fun.

ARD: And I couldn't resist.

JAMES: Yeah.

I had to partake.

I came in third place.

Third place?

Yeah, the gold, I

couldn't reach it.

Just the bronze.

Those were glory days.

What am I talking about?

We're-- we're in this

enormous dumpster.

Yeah.

It's a world we-- we

cannot seem to grasp at all.

I have a suggestion.

JAMES: Yeah?

I've got one

thought in my mind.

I think we should walk.

JAMES: OK.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

But I-- I have done

extensive studying.

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

And I studied this creature.

He's called Trashula.

TRASHULA: [ROARS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Trashula?

Yeah.

TRASHULA: [ROARS]

JAMES: Trashula.

He's kind of like the guy here,

maybe created this whole place.

He can turn things

into a dumpster--

[BANG]

--and make them come to life.

He was the leader of a

big tribe of dumpsters.

[BANG]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

NARRATOR" Vlad the Impaler,

Hannibal Alexander the Great,

Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun.

None of them compare to the

ruthless, insatiable k*lling

nature of the Trash Demon of

Darkness, the Butcher of Basura,

Trashula!

[BANG]

JAMES: Is that Trashula

can take on many forms.

He could be that

tree right there.

What?

He could be this

rock down here.

He could be anywhere.

He could be a a

piece of newspaper.

He could be one of those

stupid Christmas tree things

that people put in their cars

to make them smell better.

Does he have to be

something trash based?

Well, his name's Trashula,

so I'd think maybe.

He can even make things like

a newspaper with a knife.

And I got attacked when

I first came in here.

He could be anywhere

at any time.

We're almost just waiting

for something to happen,

if this Trashula just gonna--

gonna pop out and get us.

I think Trashula

controls all of this.

We need to walk,

and walk, and walk.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

JAMES: Hey, look at that.

Is that what I think it is?

It's a phone book.

Oh.

What?

You know what we could do?

We could call for help.

ARD: H.

H. H.

Yeah.

G, G, H. You know what?

That's not H. That's G. H.

OK.

So now we're in H,

what do we do now?

Help.

Right, right, help.

H. Help me out.

What's after-- what's after H?

Next page.

Next page.

Next.

JAMES: Next page?

And the next.

JAMES: Next page.

There.

There?

That guy.

It says he helps people.

JAMES: Arkansas Brown.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

It says here he

can find anything.

Oh, get this, low cost.

Bonded?

And licensed.

Looks like it says 300

findings this year alone.

I think that's our guy.

I think that's our guy.

Should we call him?

Yeah.

JAMES: OK.

I'm getting

pretty good service.

Are you really?

At three bars, yeah.

Huh.

Arkansas Brown.

Hold up, hold up.

We should check his

Yelp reviews first,

just to make sure we don't

get involved with a guy who

isn't as great as his name.

That's-- that's

probably a good idea.

Arkansas Brown.

Brown with a B?

JAMES: Brown with a B, yeah.

Look at that, five stars.

It says right there,

guaranteed, I can find anyone.

Arkansas Brown.

Yeah.

I can't wait to meet this--

[PHONE RINGING]

[COUGHS]

[PHONE RINGING]

[COUGHS]

[PHONE RINGING]

[CLEARS THROAT] Hello?

Hello.

Listen, I ain't got all night.

I got a bad case of

hemorrhoids and Epstein-Barr.

Is-- is this Arkansas Brown?

Are you available?

Can you help us?

Can you find us?

Tell him where we're at.

We're-- we're in a dumpster.

No, we're in a dumpster.

Dumpster.

Hello?

No, a dumpster.

Can you help us and find us?

We're in a dumpster.

Yeah, I can drop you a pin.

OK, I'll be right there.

Just don't forget to pay my fee.

Don't forget to enter

your card number.

OK.

PayPal.

How-- how are you

planning on finding us?

Because like I was saying,

we're in a dumpster.

I'm Arkansas Brown.

I can find anyone.

He's telling us

to keep walking.

He'll find us.

Listen, shitneck, this

card better clear, or my name

isn't Arkansas.

Brown.

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

He hung up.

ARD: But that means he's

on his way, I'll bet.

JAMES: Yeah.

ARD: And he said

to-- he said to--

JAMES: Keep walking.

ARD: Keep walking.

I hate this job sometimes, all

the assholes I gotta deal with,

like this as*h*le.

Makes me want to put my

head in a round hole.

He's in a dumpster.

What kind of as*h*le

gets lost in a dumpster?

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[COUGHS]

[COUGHING]

I probably should have

asked more questions.

Ah, f*ck it.

Too much talk's

bad for the mouth.

One thing I've learned dealing

with sh*t necks over the years,

they're just sh*t.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[GROANS]

I guess I better go

find these assholes.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah.

ARD: Arkansas Brown.

JAMES: Arkansas.

Brown

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Bet he's a real nice guy.

ARD: Oh, I bet he--

maybe we'll take him

out to dinner after.

JAMES: Yeah, yeah.

ARD: Wait a minute.

What the--

[WHIRRING]

Whoa!

What?

How did we get here?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I can't-- I can't

keep track of this.

Well, we gotta

get out of here.

Drop-- drop a pin to--

to the guy, Arkansas Brown.

Arkansas Brown.

Good idea.

Hopefully, he'll

be able to find us.

Scroll.

Go to--

There we go.

To?

That one.

There.

Right there.

OK, right there.

How long do you think

it'll take him to find us?

I don't know.

It's gonna take a

while, I'm guessing.

Maybe a couple days?

Oh.

Well, he's got it now.

Arkansas Brown,

come quick, my friend.

[SIREN BLARING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[BOOM]

[WHIRRING]

Save us.

Save us.

Find us and get us out of here.

JAMES: Yeah, we need

to get out of here.

That's a man who's

gonna do it for us.

How did we get back in here?

He's gonna be here any minute.

I can feel it.

JAMES: I don't think

it's any minute.

It's gonna be a

couple of days if--

at the earliest.

ARD: Did you see

his Yelp reviews?

JAMES: I did see

his Yelp reviews.

But I think being in a dumpster,

it's gonna take him a while.

He didn't say there was

fine print at the bottom.

He said fast, friendly service.

Well, I still think

two days is fast,

friendly service in this place.

Quicker is better.

He's got a five star rating.

I agree, but, yeah,

yeah, but he's not

gonna be here in four minutes.

He's gonna be here in

days, maybe a week.

And that's early.

45-- 30 to 45.

30 to 40-- that's

not gonna happen.

ARD: Arkansas Brown

would not steer us wrong.

Oh, he might steer us wrong.

Two weeks?

Two days?

Two days from now.

No.

Two days from now is--

I'm saying 30 to 45 minutes--

No.

--he'll be here.

No.

Arkansas Brown.

JAMES: Listen, Cousin It, that's

not gonna happen in 45 minutes.

It's gonna happen in

two days, three days,

possibly a week,

maybe two weeks.

This isn't something easy.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I understand the

five star rating,

but that doesn't mean he's

gonna be [INDISTINCT].

It's gonna take him

a while, maybe days.

I understand why that fast.

Hey!

[BELL RINGS]

Stop the arguing.

We're getting out

of here right now.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

And I'm going to

kick the sh*t out

of anything that

gets in our way.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[SHOUTING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[SHOUTING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

Is that it?

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[INAUDIBLE]

You sent him the pin.

You go get him.

No, you said he'd be

here in five seconds.

Well, no--

JAMES: You go get it.

I said 25--

I think since you're younger,

you should go get it.

I think you should go get

it because you're older.

We'll go in a row with

you being in the front

and me taking care of

everything behind us.

I think I like you.

And I'll take care of everything

behind as you go first.

ARD: Shoulder-to-shoulder,

let's walk right towards it.

And maybe we'll decide

when we get there.

OK, ready?

Let's try.

Shoulder-to-shoulder.

Don't get behind me.

No, no.

OK.

Right, here we go.

Oh, no.

I don't feel good about this.

I don't like this either.

I don't feel good.

OK.

OK, you ready?

You want to do it?

No, no, no, no, no.

I trust you.

OK, I'm gonna do this.

No.

No.

Oh, gosh.

1, 2, 3.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Oh.

Oh.

Dear,

Dear, God.

Oh, heavens to Betsy.

Well, he's-- he's gone.

He's gone.

You're right about that part.

JAMES: But he got here fast,

and I think that this is--

was he really even

here, is my thing?

I mean, he was here.

Was he not?

I don't know, but--

Well, he-- he took

your money, right?

Like--

Oh, he did take my money.

ARD: You sent him

a PayPal, right?

Yeah, I did.

Can you contact

your bank, maybe?

I probably should get

a refund, shouldn't I?

I think so, yeah.

If they don't, I think you

could write a complaint.

But you know what this

means, though, right?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

If you're saying what I

think you're saying, which is,

we're on our own.

This is it.

This is it.

It's you and me.

[SIGHS] All right.

JAMES: Well, I'll make

sure to call my bank

and get that refund.

Goodbye, old friend

that was a new friend.

JAMES: We-- goodbye, Arkansas.

Brown.

Brown.

Brown.

Hasta La vista.

Hasta La vista.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

Boy, I never thought that I

was gonna have a day like this,

like today.

Man, this whole experience

has been a journey

I can hardly believe myself.

Well, I'll tell you,

it's really amazing here.

Oh, we-- we could walk for

miles, and miles, and miles.

Been attacked by

newspapers, bottles.

I was even attacked by a box.

The worst.

And I tell you, the worst thing

I've found is packing peanuts.

They get stuck in your throat.

You start coughing.

[COUGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

We're walking for

miles and miles.

Are we ever getting out

of here, is my question.

ARD: The outcome is rather grim.

Grim?

What do you mean,

outcome's grim?

Well, I'll tell you, I've

walked, and walked, and walked,

and ran, and walked, and ran

some more, and walked some more.

And I'll tell you, the

forecast that I can think,

I can see in my mind's

eye, is that you and I

will be friends to the end.

And that's sooner than we think.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

But what about Arkansas Brown?

He came into this

dumpster to save us.

What are we gonna

tell his family?

Each man's journey

is so unique.

It's-- it's specific to them.

But I'll tell you, it's like

a shoe without a shoelace.

You can walk for a while, and

walk for a while, and walk for--

OK, OK, but you're--

what are you trying to say?

ARD: I'm trying to

tell you, I don't know.

JAMES: You don't know?

[WHIRRING]

You're telling me that

we're gonna walk, and walk,

and walk for a while, and

maybe run a little, and then

some more walking.

But how did we get here?

Have you even asked

that question?

How did we even get here?

We're in a dumpster.

And after all that walking,

we're not getting out.

No, you're right.

You're right.

I-- I hate to admit that

what's brought you here

on your journey, I cannot tell

you what started any of it.

But you're here

now with me, lost

in the vastness of the dumpster.

But if there's one

thing, one thing I

can stress to you,

the specifics of the--

the perfect and--

What are you talking about?

You keep-- are you

making words up?

Or what are you trying

to say right here?

ARD: It's crystal clear.

Don't you see?

I-- apparently not.

I don't see anything

you're talking about.

[WHEEZING]

Get this man a cup of water.

You have any water?

I could use a drop or two.

JAMES: Know this,

I'm getting out

of here, no matter

circumstances,

no matter how many

miles I have to walk.

I'm getting out of here,

and I'm taking you with me.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Wait, I remember

this, I remember this.

This is where I came in.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Isn't that where you--

what?

Well, it was really

nice meeting you.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[BEEPING]

[WHIRRING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

Soda!

[GROANING]

I--

[GROANING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[BOOM]

I hate trash.

Talk about a day in the dumper.

[BEEPING]

[BANG]

[ROARS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[BANG]

[BANG]

Trashula.

[BANG]

You want to get trashy?

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

Let's get trashy.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[BANGING]

[GROANS]

[BANGING]

TRASHULA: [ROARS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ROARING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ROARS]

[ROARS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ROARS]

[ROARS]

[ROARS]

[CHATTER]

[ROARS]

[BANG]

[ROARING]

[BANG]

[ROARS]

[BANG]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[WHIRRING]

[BANGING]

[SHOUTING]

SKIP576: Did the events you

witnessed really happen?

Did the story of the

k*ller garbage dumpster,

which doubled as a portal

into a world that can only

be described as something

of a Terry Gilliam film,

really exist?

Did anything that James Lomie

claims happen really take place?

More importantly, does

a being like nefarious

Trashula really exist?

And if it does, what are

the consequences of that?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

No, no, no, no, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

don't go in there.

[RINGING]

Talk about a day in the dumper.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[BANGING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ROARS]

[LAUGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ROARS]