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01x43 - Dog Day

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Uncle Grandpa". Aired: September 2, 2013 – June 30, 2017.*
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Uncle Grandpa is a magical shapeshifting person that stops by children's houses every day to see how they are doing.

01x43 - Dog Day

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Grft: [ roars ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning.

Good morning!

No, no, no!

But, dad, I can take care of

A dog!

You know what happens when we

Have pets?

That happens!

But, dad, it'll be different

This time.

I promise!

Please?

No...means...no!

Do I make myself clear?!

Now I'm gonna go chop down a

Tree.

[ Door slams ]

One day, I'll have a real

Dog instead of a stuffed animal

Like you.

Hey, sandy, what's going on?!

[ Gasps ]

You can talk?

Of course I can talk.

Oh, flufferz!

I knew you would make my dreams

Come true!

Uncle grandpa: that's a

Pretty cool stuffed animal,

Sandy.

Huh?

Aah!

Uncle grandpa, what are you

Doing here?

Uncle grandpa: oh, you know.

Just dropping in unexpectedly.

Don't you normally crash

Into houses with your rv?

Uncle grandpa: yeah, I do,

Except I crashed into your

Neighbor's on accident.

Mr. Gus: [ grunting ]

Uncle grandpa: so anyway,

What's your problem?

You talk to stuffed animals?

Because that isn't so bad.

I like to talk to the tiny

Marshmallow that lives in my

Mustache.

Hello, gary.

Long time no see.

[ Laughing ]

You're hilarious, gary.

What's that, gary?

Sandy has another problem?

Her dad won't let her have a pet

Dog because he thinks she can't

Take care of it?

Sandy!

Why didn't you say so?

Me and gary have the perfect

Plan to get you a dog that your

Dad will approve of.

You do?

Uncle grandpa: yeah!

Tell her, gary!

Uh, uncle grandpa, I can't

Hear anything.

Uncle grand--

Aah!

Uncle grandpa: bow wow!

Uncle grandpa?

Is that you?

Uncle grandpa: yeah, you can

Call me uncle grandpooch.

All you have to do is train me

To prove to your dad that you

Can be a responsible dog owner.

Then he'll let you have a dog.

Hey! That's a great idea!

Thanks, uncle grandpooch.

[ Giggling ]

Down, boy, down!

Okay. Let's see here.

"How to make your dog sit.

To sit the dog must bend

Hindquarters until dog rear is

Placed firmly on ground."

Sounds simple enough.

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah, I

Know how to sit.

Like this.

Wait. No, no!

Not my dad's favorite chair!

Uncle grandpa: just got to

Get it at the right angle.

Huh?

Darn thing's stuck!

[ Grunts ]

Are you okay?

Uncle grandpa: yeah.

"The roll over is a trick

That is sure to impress all your

Friends.

To start, order the dog to lie

On his back, then gesture him to

Roll over away from you."

Okay, uncle grandpooch, lay

Down!

Uncle grandpa: okay!

Now what?

Roll over, silly!

Uncle grandpa: okay.

Okay, okay, you can stop

Now!

Uncle grandpa: you didn't

Teach me how.

Wh-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

Uncle grandpoooooooch!

Uncle grandpa: I can't stop!

Both: wh-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

Yaaaah!

Uncle grandpa: hey, I stopped

Rolling!

Both: wh-o-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

"Gimme paw and shake hands."

We'll see how this one goes.

Okay, uncle grandpooch, give me

Paw.

Uncle grandpa: okay!

You did it!

Okay.

Now shake hands!

Uncle grandpa: like this?

Yeah! That's it!

You got it!

Uncle grandpa: say, this is

Pretty fun!

Stop! Stop!

You...can...stop...now!

Uncle grandpa: so, how'd I

Do?

Bang-up job.

"Go fetch is one of the

Easiest things for a dog to

Learn and requires little if any

Training."

The way this is going, I'll

Never prove to my dad I can have

A dog.

Uncle grandpa: oh, come on.

You're doing great!

[ Sighs ] okay.

You know the drill.

Go fetch.

Uncle grandpa: [ panting ]

That's not the stick!

That's what I said.

[ Sighs ]

"Housebreaking, one of the

Most difficult things to train

Your dog."

Uncle grandpa: what are you

Talking about?

This is easy.

Uncle grandpooch, no!

Not that kind of housebreaking!

The kind where you -- you know,

You go outside in the yard and

Do your doggy business.

[ Toilet flushes, gurgles ]

Uncle grandpa: I think I

Used too much toilet paper.

[ Sighs ]

Aw, man.

Uncle grandpa: hey, sandy,

What's wrong?

I don't think I'm cut out

For this dog stuff.

My dad was right.

Uncle grandpa: oh, come on.

I wouldn't say that.

Mmm! Mmm!

I think you're an excellent dog

Trainer.

Help!

My dad!

He's in trouble!

Daddy!

Aaaaah!

Sandy, please help!

Aaaaah!

I'm coming, daddy!

What happened?

[ Groans ]

This tree fell on me.

Wait a second.

What's
hedoing in here?!

What did I tell you about dogs?!

I can't believe my own daughter

Would betray me!

[ Groaning ]

But, dad, I've been training

Him.

You? Train?

I'll believe it when I see it!

Oh, geez! My legs!

What should I do?

Uncle grandpa: show him the

Tricks you taught me.

Uh, okay.

Here goes nothing.

Uncle grandpooch, sit!

What?!

You did it!

Uncle grandpa: now what?

Uh, roll over?

Yeah! Good boy!

Eh. Not bad.

But do you know this one?

Give me paw.

Uncle grandpa: okay!

Now shake hands.

Uh-oh.

Uncle grandpa: if you say so.

Who-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

Fetch!

Uncle grandpa: I'm on it!

[ Panting ]

My boys!

Uncle grandpa: [ grunts ]

He did it!

What the...?

Where'd that dog learn how to

Chop wood like that?

Uncle grandpa: she taught me.

That's amazi--

Ohhhhh!

Daddy, we got to get you to

A hospital.

But I can't drive with my

Legs like they are.

[ Tires screech ]

Uncle grandpa: need a lift?

Where'd youlearn to drive?

Uncle grandpa: she taught me.

[ Ting! ]

Uh-oh.

Looks like traffic is pretty bad

Right now.

Don't worry, guys.

I know a shortcut.

[ Tires screeching ]

Are you sure you know where

You're going?

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah.

Trust me -- I'm a dog.

[ Bear grumbling ]

[ Both scream ]

Uncle grandpa: I'll handle

This bozo.

[ Barking ]

[ Bear roars ]

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah?!

Hey, buddy, your shoelace is

Untied.

Huh?

[ Sobbing ]

Uncle grandpa: that's right.

Sorry about that.

Buh-buh...

Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh...

Uncle grandpa: she taught me.

[ Tires screeching ]

You're headed for a cliff!

How in the --

Let me guess -- you taught him?

[ Chuckles nervously ]

[ Gasps ] oh, no!

Uncle grandpa: [ panting ]

Hold it! Read the sign!

No dogs!

But this isn't any ordinary

Dog.

He saved my life!

You follow the rules or you

Are denied service!

Uncle grandpa: it's okay.

Go on without me.

I'll wait outside like a good

Boy.

We have compound fracture of

The metatarsals, shattered

Femur, looks like douglas fir

Splinters in the buttocks,

Patient going into shock!

Immediate surgery!

[ Monitors beeping ]

Doc, give it to me straight.

Do I have a chance?

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah.

I'd definitely say so.

What?!

A dog can't perform surgery!

Uncle grandpa: don't worry.

She taught me that, too.

All right, boys, let's get to

Work.

This should be a walk in the

Park.

Get it, guys?

'Cause I'm a dog?

Sandy?

[ Gasps ] daddy!

You're okay!

Yeah, doctors say I should

Be able to walk again in


Here's your bill, sir.

80 Grand?!

How am I gonna pay that?

Uncle grandpa: don't worry.

I got this one.

Keep the change.

Sandy, we have to talk about

This dogbusiness.

I know.

I-i'm sorry I disobeyed you and

Got a dog even when you told me

Not to.

Sandy, what I saw today was

So amazing, you have morethan

Proven to me that you are

Capable of being a dog owner.

Yes!

Thank you, dad!

I promise I'll do a good job!

Now you two stay out of

Trouble.

I'm gonna go for a hike!

Thanks so much,

Uncle grandpa.

But you can't be my dog forever.

Don't you have other kids to

Help?

Uncle grandpa: don't worry.

I have a plan.

Be back in two shakes of a tail.

Hey, sandy.

Check this out!

[ Barks ]

Flufferz! You're real!

But how'd you do it?

Uncle grandpa: a little

Something I call frankenstein

Juice.

Ain't that right, frankie?

[ Groans ]

Wow! So cool!

Isn't that cool, flufferz?

[ Giggling ]

Uncle grandpa, I just wanna tell

You how thankful I am for your

Help.

I learned that taking care of a

Dog is a lot of work but totally

Worth it.

[ Toilet flushes, gurgles ]

Uncle grandpa: uh, I think I

Used too much toilet paper

Again.

Interpretative hot-dog dance.

Mr. Gus: [ grunts ]

Pizza steve: ooooh!

Workout time, for mr. Gus!

Mr. Gus: yeah.

Pizza steve: dude, lifting

Some serious iron I see.

Not as much as me, of course.

Breakin' a sweat yet, buddy?

Not me.

I'm just getting straight

Ripped, jacked, yoked!

And from the looks of things, at

About twice your rate.

I guess you could say...

I'm raising the bar.

Mr. Gus: yeah?

Why don't you raise it higher?

Pizza steve: you mean like

This?

Mr. Gus: higher.

Pizza steve: like this?

Mr. Gus: higher.

Pizza steve: guess

Pizza steve has to show you how

It's done!

[ Pop! ]

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Aah! Help!

Oof!

[ Grunting ]

Help!

Mr. Gus: thanks for showing

Me how it's done, buddy.