01x19 - Perfect Kid

[bunniefuu]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Grft: [ roars ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning.

Good morning!

Easy does it now.

There! All done!

Oh, wait a second.

Aw, man!

I made my bed wrong
again!

I can never do it right!

Ooh! Owww!

[ Gasping ]

[ Grunts ]

Ohh.

I can't do anythingcorrectly!

Man, I'm terrible at life.

[ Glass shatters ]

Wha? Wha?

Uncle grandpa: huh.

Gotta remember to fix that

E-brake.

Huh? Hey, wait a second.

This isn't the subby sandwich

Shop.

And you're not the sandwich

Creator who makes my tuna-fish

Sandwich.

No. I'm austin.

And you just busted into my

Room, uncle grandpa!

Uncle grandpa: you're

Welcome.

So, austin, how can

Uncle grandpa help youtoday?

Well, I'm not very good at

Anything, and I ain't never

Done nothing right.

Uncle grandpa: I believe you

Mean, "I've never done anything

Right."

Watch those double negatives!

You see what I mean?

I wish I was good at stuff!

I wish I was perfect!

Uncle grandpa: then there's

Only one thing to do!

You mean I have to buckle

Down and commit to being a

Better person?

Uncle grandpa: what?! Pfft!

No!

I'm gonna turn you into the most

Perfect thing ever.

A robot.

Uh, uncle grandpa, why are

You looking over there?

[ Reel clicking ]

Uncle grandpa: let's get

Perfect!

Don't worry, austin.

This won't hurt a bit.

[ Splat! ]

[ Tok! Tok! ]

[ Squish! ]

[ Hammering ]

[ Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! ]

[ Gurgling ]

[ Creak! Creak! ]

[ Critter screeches ]

[ Crack! ]

There we go!

So, austin, what do ya think?

[ Robotically ] I am

Austin 2.0, the most perfect

Robot.

Mission to destroy all

Imperfections and maintain

Maximum perfection levels

Forever.

Uncle grandpa: well, my work

Here is done.

Looks like it's

Tuna sandwich o'clock for me.

Scanning for imperfections.

[ Beeping ]

Scan complete.

You are most imperfect!

Uncle grandpa: hey, I resent

That!

Must destroy!

Uncle grandpa: [ gasps ]

Whoa, watch it!

You almost hit me!

Belly bag: um, uncle grandpa,

Something tells me he istrying

To hit you!

Aaaah!

Main priority --

Imperfection.

Must be rectified.

Maximum a*tillery trained on

Target.

Uncle grandpa: oh, boy, so

Many big words!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Me no likey!

All I wanted was a tuna-fish

Sandwich!

[ Pants, shouts ]

Imperfect hiding place.

Uncle grandpa: [ whimpers ]

That was a close call.

Lucky no one got hurt.

[ People screaming ]

Belly bag: uncle grandpa,

Ahem?

Uncle grandpa: huh?

[ Gasps ]

[ Whimpering ]

Keep away!

[ Grunting ]

Uncle grandpa!

I really need help with my

Science-fair project.

You think you can give me a

Hand?

Uncle grandpa: hi, henry.

Actually, I'm kinda busy at the

Moment.

Can you take a rain check?

Whatever.

Uncle grandpa: [ grunts ]

See? This is why I hate trees.

[ Gasps ] aah!

[ Whimpering ]

All I wanted was a tuna

Sandwich!

Belly bag: we've got company!

Uncle grandpa: yeah, I know.

I brought her with us 'cause she

So looked bored in the barn.

[ Cow moos ]

Belly bag: I'm talking about

The robot hunting you down!

Uncle grandpa: we're going

Down!

I really should get that

Fixed.

Uncle grandpa: ooh!

[ Whimpers ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Whimpering ]

I should get that fixed, too.

Uncle grandpa: ah!

Pfffffft!

[ Panting ]

[ Pop! ]

[ Audience laughing ]

Huh?

Am I right, folks?

And I really hate it when I sit

Down on my couch, get all comfy,

And then realize the tv remote

Control is all the way across

The room.

I mean, someone should invent a

Separate remote control that

Fetches your remote control.

[ Chuckles ]

Am I right?

Uncle grandpa: [ laughs ]

What the --

[ Audience gasps ]

Uncle grandpa: that's what my

Friend mr. Gus says all the

Time!

He's a dinosaur.

Uncle grandpa, is that you?

Uncle grandpa: hi,

Shaquille o'neal.

How's the comedy thing going?

Everybody, it's

Uncle grandpa!

He helped me realize my lifelong

Dream of being a stand-up

Comedian.

Now I'm not just an incredibly

Handsome and successful

Basketball player, but an

Incredibly handsome and

Successful comedian.

And I owe it all to him.

So, what's cracka-lackin',

Uncle grandpa?

Uncle grandpa: oh, you know.

A little of this, a little of

That.

[ Rumbling ]

Uh...

[ Audience gasps ]

You all right, uncle grandpa?

Uncle grandpa: well, aside

From turning a child into a

Giant robot that's trying to

Destroy me for not being

Perfect, all because I wanted a

Tuna sandwich, yeah, I'm all

Right.

Imperfect!

Uncle grandpa: [ gasping ]

Looks like you could use an

Assist.

Uncle grandpa: maybe a

Little.

You heard him, everyone.

Let's help uncle grandpa give

This robot a crazy shaq attack!

All: yeah!

[ Chatter ]

Come on, uncle grandpa!

Let's kick some robot butt!

Or ro-butt! Or robo butt!

Or whatever you think is the

Funniest!

Uncle grandpa: they're all

Funny!

Whee!

Whoa! Tough crowd!

Prepare to be perfectly

Destroyed.

Let's show him what we're

Made of.

Uncle grandpa: yeah!

A bunch of audience members!

Ready! Fight!

Uncle grandpa: [ grunting ]

Perfect combo!

I think I swallowed some

Championship rings.

[ Coughs ]

Uncle grandpa: I think I

Swallowed my spine.

Target hindered.

Remains most imperfect.

Uncle grandpa: still fixated

On the whole "perfect" thing,

Huh?

[ Grunts ]

Must destroy.

Uncle grandpa: okay, okay.

You win. I'm most imperfect.

Jeez.

But before you destroy me, will

You grant me one final request?

I sure could use a delicious

Tuna sandwich.

I can equip you with a

Perfect tuna sandwich.

Uncle grandpa: aah!

[ Whirring ]

[ Splat! ]

[ Pop! Pop! ]

[ Plop! ]

[ Ding! ]

I present you with a perfect

Tuna sandwich.

Uncle grandpa: hmm.

Composition is decent.

Consistency's a bit

Questionable.

Weight is rather suspect.

[ Chewing ]

[ Gulp! ]

Eh. I've had better.

Impossible!

You are incorrect in your

Evaluation.

It was by all logical accounts a

Perfect tuna sandwich.

Uncle grandpa: sorry to burst

Your bubble, but in all honesty,

The sandwich just wasn't that

Good.

It wasn't perfect.

Incorrect!

It is perf-- does not compute!

Robot is imperfect!

Robot is imperfect!

Uncle grandpa: it was just

Constructive criticism.

[ Boom! ]

Ohhh! My head!

Uncle grandpa: whoa, austin,

Where did you come from?!

Belly bag: uncle grandpa, he

Was the robot, remember?

Uncle grandpa: oh. Right.

Duh!

W-w-what happened to me?

Uncle grandpa: let's just

Pretend at this moment I say

Something really profound and

Important that justifies

Everything that happened.

Uh, I guess what you mean is

That trying to be the perfect

Kid is pretty much impossible

And that our imperfections are

What make us who we are!

And, in a way, just to be

Yourself is the perfect

Solution!

Right, uncle grandpa?

Uncle grandpa? Huh?

[ Microphone feedback ]

Uncle grandpa: is this thing

On?

Hey, you ever notice when you're

Flying a plane and you crash

Into the back of a semi-truck

That you sometimes end up

Fighting a giant robot with

Shaquille o'neal at a comedy

Club?

[ Audience laughs ]

Uncle grandpa problems.

Am I right?

Hey, he stole my joke!

Uncle grandpa: [ laughs ]

[ Rap music playing ]

That's a pretty cool beat,

Tiger.

[ Rapping ] ♪ yo, it's

Uncle grandpa ♪

Pizza steve: ♪ and pizza

Steve ♪

Mr. Gus: ♪ mr. Gus

Belly bag: ♪ belly bag, yo,

You best believe ♪

Uncle grandpa: ♪ we come to

Bring the heat while we pop

Lock ♪

♪ Hotter than your favorite

Hot sauce ♪

Pizza steve: ♪ yo, it's

Pizza steve, a.k.a., P.s. ♪

♪ When I'm on the mike

♪ I be fresh

♪ Straight from the oven

♪ Hate it or love it

♪ My cheese is thick

♪ And my crust is rugged

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

♪ It's your uncle grandpa

♪ I can rap on the mike

With my pants off ♪

♪ I got a sick ride

♪ It's called the rv

♪ Where's the mustard

For my hot dog party? ♪

♪ I like to help kids by using

My magic ♪

♪ Hey, wait a second

♪ Check out this hat trick

♪ That makes me fly

♪ I'm a cool guy

♪ I like sour cream on my

Blueberry pie ♪

♪ Now I'm almost done

♪ With my rhymin'

♪ So stick around

♪ For my book signin'

Belly bag: ♪ it's your

Favorite friend, belly bag ♪

♪ I got loads of fun from toys

To smelly rags ♪

♪ But my favorite thing is

Making mouth noises ♪

♪ So listen to me with me and my

Boys'es ♪

[ Beatboxing ]

[ Giggling ]

♪ Wha, wha-wha-wha-wha,

Wha-wha-wha, wha ♪

[ Blubbering ]

Mr. Gus: ♪ yo, it's

Mr. Gus ♪

♪ Call me big g

♪ I put words together

Intricately ♪

♪ You can't mess with this dino

Flow ♪

♪ Pay close attention

♪ Or my rhymes'll go

♪ Over your head

♪ Like a helicopter

♪ Tell your doctor

♪ To quell the opera of pain

♪ That you will experience

♪ If you step to gus

♪ 'Cause gus will get furious

♪ Still waters run deep

♪ And I'm the deepest

♪ Profound sound

♪ Better than the weakest

♪ Big g crushes foes who deserve

The meat fist ♪

♪ But I'm chill m to f and on

The weekends ♪

♪ So as I end this verse

♪ Let me just say

♪ That big g and crew get the

Party underway ♪

♪ Wait, hold up

♪ Who wants to join the

Cypher? ♪

♪ It's giant realistic flying

Tiger! ♪

[ Record scratching ]