01x03 - Space Emperor

[bunniefuu]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Grft: [ roars ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning.

Good morning!

[ Laughs evilly ]

You, there -- give me your

Space orc gold.

Why should i?

Because
youare a minion, and

Iam the space emperor.

That is why.

What about you, stinky minion?

Hand over your laser-fuel

Reserves, pronto!

How come we always have to

Play the minions and you always

Get to play the space emperor?

Because I'm the space

Emperor, and I get to decide who

Does what.

Now, which one of you minions is

Going to make me a dinner

Sandwich?

You're being too bossy, and

This isn't fun anymore.

You can play space frontiers all

By yourself.

Come on, nathan. Let's go home.

[ Crash! ]

Both: whoa!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

That's right -- everyone in the

World's uncle and grandpa is

Here.

[ Squeak! ]

Intruder!

I am the space emperor of the

Vortron dimension, and you are

An intruder!

Uncle grandpa: oh, no!

A sinister space emperor!

He must have gotten stranded

Here on our planet somehow.

I better send him back to his

Dimension, asap!

Belly bag, can you please fetch

My teleportation laser?

Belly bag: sure thing,

Uncle grandpa.

Uncle grandpa: thanks,

Belly bag.

How long must the emperor

Wait for his dinner sandwich?

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Uncle grandpa: easy-peasy,

Cantonezey.

Melvin!

It's time for your dinner

Sandwich!

Oh, hi, uncle grandpa.

I'm babysitting this kid, and he

Seems to have vanished.

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah?

What did he look like?

Oh, he's about this tall,

Blond hair, and wearing a towel

For a cape.

Melvin was just out here, and

Now he's gone.

I feel like the world's worst

Babysitter ever in the world.

I've never lost a kid before.

Uncle grandpa: hmm.

Come to think of it, neither

Have i.

I promise you this, babysitter

Lady -- as god as my witness,

I'm gonna find melvin and bring

Him back, even if I have to

Travel through every single

Dimension till I locate the

Specific one that he's lost in.

[ Whoosh! ]

Pbht!

Wait, what?

Dimensions?

I thought you said you didn't

See him.

Uncle grandpa: uh, can't hear

You.

Going through a portal.
Uh, sorry.

[ Squish! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Squish! ]

[ Pop! ]

Uncle grandpa: all right.

Now to find melvin and bring him

Home!

Intruder!

You are under arrest, filthy

Intruder.

Uncle grandpa: oh, boy.

What luck.

I'm so glad I bumped into native

Townfolk.

Be quiet.

Let's take him to the muddy

Prison dungeon, introduce him to

Gornak.

[ Splash! ]

Uncle grandpa: melvin!

[ Grunts ]

Uncle grandpa: melvin!

Man, I really got to find that

Kid.

[ Growls ]

[ Panting ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning.

[ Roars ]

[ Growls ]

[ Crack! ]

[ Growls ]

Uncle grandpa: you must be

Gornak.

[ Grunts, growls ]

Uncle grandpa: listen,

Gornak -- it's very nice to meet

You, but I'm afraid I can't play

With you right now.

So, if you'll kindly excuse me,

I must be on my way.

[ Whirring ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Splat! Pop! ]

Are you okay, uncle grandpa?

Well, I think gornak must have

Misunderstood me when I told him

I can't play with him right now.

Mind if I try talking to him?

By all means, uncle grandpa.

[ Creak! ]

[ Slump! Snap! ]

[ Groans, grunts ]

[ Growls ]

[ Grunting ]

Uncle grandpa: gornak, I

Don't mean to be rude, but,

Honestly, I don't have time to

Play right now.

There's a boy out there whose

Name is melvin, and he needs me

To find him.
[ Grunts ]

Uncle grandpa: you see, I've

Never lost a kid before, and I'm

Not gonna lose one now.

So I must bid you fairly well.

Belly bag: um, uncle grandpa,

Could you stop getting punched

In the belly bag?

Uncle grandpa: why,

Certainly, my trusty pouch

Friend.

[ Grunts ]

[ Pop! ]

[ Growls ]

Uncle grandpa: hey, gorny.

I'm not sure if you're aware,

But you got a lot of crowding

Back there.

Have you considered getting

Braces?

[ Grunts ]

[ Thwip! ]

Uncle grandpa: all right,

Gornak, I didn't want it to come

To this, but you leave me no

Choice.

You just earned yourself one

Order of uncle grandpa's spank

Bottom special.

[ Crying ]

This warrior is most

Impressive.

Uncle grandpa: [ grunts ]

Good morning, minions.

He must be shown to the

Emperor.

Uncle grandpa: the emperor?

Perfect.

I could ask him where melvin is.

Thank you.

Now, don't go spending that all

In one dimension.

[ Bonk! ]

[ Chomp! ]

Emperor zorth, I present to you

The interstellar warrior who

Bested gornak.

Uncle grandpa: hey, there,

Emperor zorth.

You!

Uncle grandpa: oh, there you

Are.

Come on, melvin.

Let's get you home.

The name isn't "melvin."

It's "emperor zorth"!

And I'm not going anywhere.

Back on earth, no one listened

To me, but here...

Watch this.

[ Whistles ]

Go make me a dinner sandwich.

Uncle grandpa: why are you

Following his orders?

Because he's the emperor.

[ Creak! ]

Uncle grandpa: oh, no.

After I accidentally sent him

Here, melvin doesn't want to go

Home.

What am I gonna do?

It's like he's taken dressing

Up like an emperor too far.

Hey, that gives me an...

Idea!

I'll be right back.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Uncle grandpa, what

Are you doing?

I command you to take that

Ridiculous costume off.

Uncle grandpa: I'm not

Uncle gran--

[ Coughs, clears throat ]

Emperor krell: [ aristocratic

Voice ] I am not uncle grandpa.

I'm emperor krell!

I go on a lovely cosmic cruise

Of the netherverse for two

Weeks, only to come home to find

My throne's been taken over by a

Kid!

Why are you just following his

Orders?

Hi, again, uncle grandpa.

Uncle grandpa: I am not

Uncle grandpa!

And I am not just some kid

Sitting on a throne!

I am emperor zorth!

[ Chomp! ]

No mayo! Make it again!

Emperor krell: belay that

Order, minion.

There is only one emperor, and

That is me.

Now get off my throne, kid!

It's my throne, and the

Minion does my bidding!

Because I'mthe emperor!

Emperor krell: I'mthe
emperor!

Ithe emperor!

Emperor krell: I'mthe
emperor!

Ithe emperor!

[ Boom! ]

[ Thud! ]

I'm okay.

Emperor krell: make me a

Dinner sandwich.

You think you can

Just make me make you a --

[ Rustling ]

What?

What's going on?

Why am I doing this?

Emperor krell: because i'm

The emperor.

And now sh**t fire out of your

Mouth.

That's insane.

I'm not going to -- aah!

Aah!

Stop making me do this!

That's an order!

Aah!

[ Voice breaking ] please?

Emperor krell: never!

And now I order you to become my

Dinner-sandwich-making,

Fire-breathing pet pognog...

Forever!

Pognog?

What's a pognog?

[ Bubble! Bubble! Bubble! ]

No, not the mayonnaise!

[ Sobbing ]

Emperor krell: who's the

Emperor now, kid?

[ Laughs evilly ]

You're the emperor!

You are!

You're the emperor,

Uncle grandpa!

[ Crying ] I'm so sorry.

I just get carried away when I

Put on that stupid costume.

[ Sobs ]

I learned how annoying it is to

Be bossed around, and I'll never

Do it again.

I hate being space emperor.

I just want to go home!

Uncle grandpa: that's just

What I wanted to hear.

What?

Uncle grandpa: huh? Oh.

I was just saying, "that's just

What I wanted to hear."

But -- what?

Emperor krell: who is that

Handsome devil?

Oh, never mind.

Prepare to die!

Uncle grandpa: not this

Morning!

[ Whoosh! ]

Emperor krell: ha!
You missed me!

[ Whoosh! ]

Aah!

Uncle grandpa: I totally

Meant to do that.

[ Button clicks ]

[ Crank! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

Uncle grandpa: I never lost a

Kid yet.

Ready to go home, melvin?

So, did you know there was an

Evil emperor dude who looked

Exactly like you, or was that

Just a coincidence?

Uncle grandpa: uh, can't hear

You.

Going through a portal.

[ Zip! ]

[ Zip! Squish! ]

[ Zip! Zip! ]

Melvin!

Thank you, uncle grandpa.

Come on inside, melvin.

I'll make you a dinner sandwich.

How about imake you

A dinner sandwich?

Okay.

Thanks, melvin.

Don't thank me.

Thank -- uncle grandpa?

[ Gust! ]

Uncle grandpa: ♪ good...

Mor...

Ning ♪

Belly bag: it's time for

"Tiger talk," with your host,

Giant realistic flying tiger!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Grft: [ growls ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Roars ]

[ Cheers and applause stop ]

[ Growls ]

[ Roars ]

Mr. Gus: that's a good
question, tiger.

I'd say about three or four

Times a week.

Audience: ooh!

Grft: [ roars ]

Mr. Gus: no.

Audience: aw!

Grft: [ growls, roars ]

Mr. Gus: my favorite food is

Toast.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Belly bag: that's all the

Time we have for "tiger talk"

Today.

Tune in tomorrow when

Pizza steve models the hottest

Fall toppings.

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

Grft: [ growls ]

Uncle grandpa: [ snap! ]

[ Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! ]

[ Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! ]

Aah-aah-aah--

Choo!