10x20 - Birds Do It, Bees Do It

[bunniefuu]

How about a movie? My date just cancelled.

-Don't say date. -Okay, it's not a date.

What the hell?

Karen.

Oh...

Karen!

You and I could go to bed together

because after all, it's just sex.

Well, some people take it more seriously than that.

Some people say that going to bed

with someone who's married is wrong

but I say it depends on who that someone is.

Yes.

[theme music]

[birds chirping]

"Has your sex life gone downhill after marriage?"

-What? -[laughs]

Yeah, look. Ann Landers wrote a survey.

-Look at this. -[laughing] Wait a minute.

"Eighty-two percent respondents

say sex after marriage was less exciting."

Eighty-two percent?

Oh, I think surveys like that

are just skewed toward the negative, that's all.

Well, if that's what it's like after marriage,

I'm not getting married.

[Michael and Karen laugh]

Hey, I'm using the bathroom first.

-[Michael] I don't think so. -[Paige] But you take forever.

"When we were going together

"she used to meet me at the airport"

with a raincoat and nothing on under it."

Mmm.

"Now we have three kids and she says,

'Take a taxi. I'm too tired to drive.'"

[laughs] I think people are just more likely to complain

rather than say something nice.

[Mack] I think this woman has reason to complain.

[Karen] What?

"My husband takes two baths a year.

"Spring and fall."

Smell of soap would be a real turn on."

[laughing] I'm glad we're part of the eighteen percent.

Who says I'm part of the eighteen percent?

You enjoyed yourself last Sunday.

Oh, baby.

-That was two Sundays ago. -It was last Sunday.

You enjoyed yourself. You never remember anything.

How do you know I enjoyed myself?

Oh, are you going to tell me you didn't?

Well, you know

actually, it was too long ago to remember.

So, why don't you remind me?

Not in front of...

What, do you think it's a bad idea

that kids see their mother and father kiss?

Come on, tell me you enjoyed it.

Why won't you give me a serious answer?

[Meg babbles]

-You want a serious answer? -Yes.

[sensual music]

-Why don't you stay home? -I can't.

The kids will be gone in an hour

and I can have Barbara take Meg to the zoo.

Alright?

I can't.

Why not?

I... I can't.

I can't. I can't.

I can't.

[whispering] I hate you.

"How exciting can sex be

with a pot-bellied, cynical, comatose couch potato?"

What?

Well, according to Ann Landers, lots of folks complain

about the sex department after marriage.

I guess I should have written in.

Oh, your Uncle Freeman and I

had fabulous sex until the day he died.

-[laughing] Well, I'm glad. -I miss it.

I miss him too.

Oh, it's been a long time.

-I'm sure. -Talking about you, honey.

Don't be self-conscious about it.

It's been many ages since I've had a date too.

I know exactly where you're coming from.

The only thing I wonder is...

is bad sex better than no sex at all?

-Which is what you're having. -Okay, end of conversation.

What I think you should do is start dating.

-I don't want to date. -Then don't call it dating.

Just say that you're going out with nice, handsome men.

I know one who is just waiting around the--

Thank you for the advice.

Well, Ann Landers says

that she found the results of her survey

disturbing.

Michael, telephone.

-[Michael] Who is it? -I don't know.

[Michael sighs]

[telephone ringing]

-Hey! Liar. -I've gotta get to work.

Come on, Paige, you're not the only one

who has things to do around here.

I'm leaving for the mountains in an hour.

Michael, this place is a mess.

You want your own bathroom?

Get your own apartment. You got a job.

-Michael! Telephone! -Forget it, Mom.

-She already tried with that. -What?

Olivia is on the phone. She wants to talk to you.

Can I get in? We need a washcloth.

-Diaper change. -[Meg] Toothpaste on a barrel,

No. No. I can't. You're too young.

Michael, I am one year younger than you.

So what? That's too young.

Michael. I would do it for you.

[knocks on door]

Okay. Thanks, Michael.

-Okay. I'll see you in an hour. -Thanks. Wait, Olivia.

Bye.

[sighs]

Michael says we're all going to meet

at a foothill barbecue.

We're just gonna drive in a caravan to Angeles Forest--

Olivia, I still think you're a little young for this.

Mom, you promised.

I'm not saying no.

I'm just concerned

because all the other kids are college students.

Michael will be there.

Well, that's the only reason I said yes.

Believe me.

What about Harold?

Harold's got to work this weekend.

Yeah, so we wouldn't be able

to spend much time together anyhow.

[sighs]

Alright, but look.

If there's drinking and things get out of hand

you can call me.

I will come and pick you up. It doesn't matter...

Mom, Michael's friends, they aren't like that.

You know, they're computer-types.

I believe marriage ruins sex.

-What? -What did you say, young lady?

Well, there's this someone...

believes marriage ruins sex.

It's a sex survey.

Well, you don't need to be reading things like that.

-Mom, it's Ann Landers. -I don't care.

May I be excused?

-Yeah, clean your dishes. -Clear your dishes.

[smooth jazz music]

[keys clacking]

-Is this a hint? -Is what a hint?

Oh heck, and didn't print my letter.

Probably because it was X-rated.

Where did you get this?

I...

I... I found it on the conference table

I thought...

I thought maybe you left it there.

[chuckles] No, but I'm gonna keep it.

just in case I ever need to remind you

about your husbandly duties.

-Husbandly duties? -Yes.

You don't want me to end up being part

of the 82% unsatisfied, do you?

Husbandly duties, indeed.

Sure. Thank you.

Hey, we're in, kid. We're volunteers.

-Oh, the VA. Great. -Yeah. Where you going?

-I gotta go. -You can't!

We've got the Steelman case to get ready.

I told Karen I'd pick up some frames for her.

I'll be back in an hour.

An hour? You can't... Forget Karen.

You don't work for Karen. She can run her own errands.

Mack, I wanna do it. It's just a favor.

You gotta read this article.

Ann Landers. It's really interesting.

I...

Well, I'm not in the 82% pile.

I'm in the eighteen percent.

Barbara. Mack. Let me talk to Karen, please.

She's not? Running errands?

[door opens]

Oh, thank you. Karen.

What are you doing here?

Hey, Peggy just went out running errands

into some frame shop for you.

I know.

I just passed her in the hall.

I was trying to get rid of her.

What do you mean, get rid of her?

Karen...

Karen...

[sensual music]

Oh, Karen, I have clients coming.

They...

I've got an appointment. The client's coming.

Could you... Karen!

Oh Karen. I...

Mr. and Mrs. Steelman. Yeah.

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Steelman. This is...

-Hello. -This is my wife.

This is Karen and this is the Steelmans.

[laughs nervously]

See you later.

Uh...

Yeah... Uhm...

[sighs]

[smooth jazz music]

[indistinct chatter]

This is gonna be great.

Oh, look at that waterfall!

-Hey. -Hey!

-Hey, partner. -What's going on, man?

Hey, what are you doing here? I didn't know you'd come here.

You guys talked so much about it

down at the pizza parlor, I didn't want to miss the fun.

Great. Alright. We'll see you around.

-You bet. -Come on. Come on.

Yeah.

D-K-K-K-K-D.

[knocks on door]

Oh, D-D...

D-D-D...

[piano music]

-Hi. -Hi.

Did your mom throw you out?

Uh, no.

My mother thinks that I'm on a trip with Michael.

We'll have two whole days together.

[birds chirping]

-Oh. -Hi.

Hi, hi. I'm Karen MacKenzie. I have an appointment.

Yes, Mrs. MacKenzie. We've been expecting you.

The director is running a few minutes

being his schedule.

-Would you like some coffee? -[Abby] I'd love some.

-Abby. -Karen.

-Black. -Right away.

[sighs]

What's...

What am I doing here? Or what am I doing here?

I've been nominated to serve on the board of directors.

Oh, I didn't know.

You didn't know I was nominated?

I didn't know you were interested

in protecting the environment.

Thank you.

-I was nominated also. -I know.

-Congratulations. -Thank you.

And... congratulations to you too.

Thank you.

[sighs]

Look, Abby, um...

If we... If you and I...

both serve on this committee

I, for one, am willing to help you.

I am willing to put aside whatever...

-Animosity? -We might feel.

Because this cause is more important

than-than whatever...

-Antagonism. -We might feel.

And so I just think that we should try to...

rise above our...

Intense personal dislike for each other.

-Yes. Good -I agree.

-[sighs] -Mrs. Sumner?

The director is ready to see you now.

Thank you.

[screams]

[whispering] Oh, I'm sorry.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

You couldn't keep Karen MacKenzie off the board.

Hey, I spent all my time selling you.

I didn't have time to bad mouth her.

Look at it this way.

It's the opposite of guilt by association.

Hanging around with Karen

will raise your credibility as an environmentalist.

Just say nothing of my blood pressure.

I hear I'm married to the Queen of the Fishes in the trees.

[laughs]

You know, it might be a good idea

to become a corporate sponsor of this group

or at least offer them the use of your facilities

for their group meetings.

Offer them whatever they need.

Mother here won't be able to wear her furs anymore.

Nobody wants to know how many dead animals it takes

to keep Mother warm.

-Let's go. -[whines] I'll be right there.

Listen.

Murakame is ready to apply

for their permits for the oil drilling.

Whose side are you going to be on

when the environmentalists declare w*r on Murakame?

Unlike you, I'll keep an open mind.

I don't have an open mind.

Murakame's my client

and my client's position is always the right position.

Everyone picks on the Japanese. Have you noticed?

Terrible, isn't it?

[sensual music]

For a one bedroom? No, thanks.

[sighs]

Hello, I'm calling about your ad

for the studio apartment on West 6th?

A thousand? Well, how much deposit?

I see. Could I pay in installments?

Never mind.

-Good night, Mr. Sumner. -Good night, Mrs. Sumner.

I can't tell you how grateful I am.

Please tell your parents I'm very, very grateful, okay?

It'll just be a couple hours. Bye. See you later.

-So, nine o'clock? -Yeah, 9:00, 9:30. Don't...

I'll be here, okay, and if there's a problem

if she falls asleep, let her sleep.

Don't worry about it. 10:00 10:15, okay?

-I'll be here. No problem. Bye. -Okay.

And call. Call if there's any problem.

Please don't call. Don't call.

["Fever" playing]

Oh, jeez.

♪ Never know How much I love you ♪

♪ Never know how much I care ♪

♪ When you put your arms Around me ♪

♪ I get a fever That's so hard to bear ♪

♪ You give me fever ♪

♪ When you kiss me Fever when you hold me tight ♪♪

You will not believe what happened.

Abby got appointed to the board.

-Abby! -Abby?

I thought that woman was out of my life forever.

And suddenly she's sitting right next to me, smiling.

Smiling like the Cheshire Cat!

The Cheshire cat with eyeshadow.

I have such a headache.

["Fever" stops]

Can you imagine me sitting at the same table

with this woman every time I have a meeting?

-So you're on the board then? -Yes.

But had I had a minute to think about it

I might not have accepted it.

Having Abby on the board

just cheapens the appointment, don't you think?

I mean, if she can get appointed, then...

Pizza and anchovies?

[sighs] I can't eat a thing.

I have such a headache.

[water dripping]

[piano music]

I think you better go home tonight.

I can't go home.

-What will my mother think? -Your mother?

Your mother's gonna think I put you up to this.

She's gonna find out.

She's not gonna find out. Don't worry.

What are we gonna do?

I know. Let's go to a movie.

A nice, depressing movie with subtitles.

-We can't go out. -Why not?

What if my mother sees us?

[grunts] What are we supposed to do then?

Play cards all night?

Sure. Strip poker?

No, no, no, no. Strip Poker?

I was just kidding.

Harold, I...

I just wanna spend some time with you.

Don't worry.

I'll spend the night in Johnny's bed, okay?

[sighs] Yeah.

[laughter]

Hey, Michelle Pfeiffer.

-[male voice 1] Hey, yeah. -[Male voice 2] Yeah.

Oh God. I wish I looked like Michelle Pfeiffer.

I wish that I had her lips.

God, I wish you did too.

[laughter]

Now... Kim Basinger.

Let's talk about guys.

-Yes. -Mel Gibson

Absolutely, okay?

Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise?

But you can't have both. You only get one.

Hey, hey, hey, but maybe Nancy has something kinky in mind.

♪ Well, I guess It would be nice ♪

♪ If I could touch your body ♪

♪ I know not everybody ♪

♪ Has got a body like you ♪

♪ But I gotta think twice ♪

♪ Before I give my heart away ♪

♪ Before I... Before I give my heart away ♪

♪ Give my heart away ♪♪

Well, guys, I'm gonna crash.

-So soon? -Great idea.

Michael, it's 1:30.

Your roommate hasn't come back yet, has she?

Marsha?

She went out with one of the trail guides.

We might not see her for the rest of the week.

-Goodnight. -Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Michael.

You're sitting on my bed.

I get the couch tonight.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

[gentle music]

[water dripping]

[whispering] I thought Michael would never go to sleep.

[Ellen] Come on.

[music continues]

Shh, shh, shh.

-Just wanna hug you. -[sighs]

[sighs]

Harold?

Harold?

[pants]

Where have you been?

I've been out running.

Gotta get my five miles in early.

What? It's still dark.

It's the best time to run.

I didn't know you ran.

I just started.

It's great for the cardiovascular system.

[pants]

You know...

There are better ways of burning off calories.

[moans]

-What are you doing? -What's it look like?

It looks like you're trying to avoid me.

Hey!

[sighs]

Ooh.

Good luck.

[chuckles]

[jazz music]

[Karen] You won't believe this.

And there's it is again.

"Murakame Corporation, a Japanese venture capital firm

"which bought the Lotus Point Resort

"has applied for drilling permits

"to explore for oil deposits on the property

"and immediately offshore

where the corporation has minimal rights."

Mack, they're drilling for oil at Lotus Point.

We've gotta stop them.

Yeah, but that probably won't take place

until after breakfast.

That's not funny.

I know.

[gentle music]

All day.

I mean all day. This woman was so hot.

I got the keys to the executive suite.

We were there all day.

What executive suite?

One of the corporation uses for the out-of-town clients.

But they don't use it all the time.

[laughs] I...

Half the time, that place is empty.

Why don't I know about this corporate suite?

You're a junior vice president.

I'm a senior vice president.

[elevator bell ringing]

[female voice] Yes?

I'd like the latest reports

on all Sumner Group rental properties.

I need occupancy rates, current vacancies

cash flow charts, everything.

And if you have anything on the condition of the units

I'd like that as well.

Send it along, okay?

[female voice] Sure. Right away, Mrs. Matheson.

[upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

-Yes? -[Paige] Mr. Keener?

Yes.

This is Paige Matheson.

Greg Sumner's personal assistant.

I was checking the occupancy rates

at the Castele Towers.

And I noticed that you've been carrying

a vacancy for the past two months.

Oh, the last tenants we had in there

destroyed the unit.

I had to repaint, re-carpet, and put new furniture.

But I am running an ad this weekend.

Well, I wasn't complaining.

I'm calling because we're looking

for a suite for our executives to use

and I thought this would fit the bills.

Well, it has a lovely view. It's on the 10th floor.

Would you like to see it?

[Paige] How about five o'clock?

I'll come by your place. I have the address.

Mm-hmm.

[whispering] Yes.

The place is unique.

I mean, the ecological balance is fragile.

But it's not just a question of possible oil spills.

It's not just the aesthetics

of drilling rigs on the horizon.

It's a matter of principle.

I agree.

Somewhere we have to draw the line.

Someone has to say that the price we pay

for certain kinds of so-called progress

is too high a price.

The world can get along very well

without whatever oil might be found at Lotus Point.

I wonder...

I wonder if there isn't perhaps

another way to respond to this whole problem.

A way that's less of a...

Well, less of a knee-jerk response.

As a matter of fact, I think

that calling this a problem may be the wrong approach.

What if we saw this drilling

as an opportunity rather than a threat?

Forgetting, of course, our dependence on foreign oil

and all the jobs the oil industry does create.

That's the party line of the oil company.

Abby, it's the purpose of this board to protect--

Please.

Instead of trying to stop Murakame,

why don't we try and get them

to protect the environment while they're drilling?

Now, any big corporation

would much rather spend their money

on good publicity than legal fees.

Why don't we give them that opportunity?

You mean ride herd

on their environmental impact report

and get guarantees of extra safeguards?

Exactly.

We are going to be much better off

if we're their allies rather than their adversaries.

Next, you'll tell us you believe those ads

that say, "Fish like oil rigs and prefer to live near one."

Well, maybe you think the happiness of a few fish

is more important than cleaning up

the toxic waste under our homes and in our water supply.

We are not talking about toxic waste right now.

No, we're not. That's exactly my point.

Perhaps Mrs. MacKenzie thinks

that stopping construction of a few oil wells

is more important than protecting our children from...

-No! -...inhaling asbestos particles

every day they go to school?

No, it's all one and the same thing!

Protecting the environment

means protecting the people in the environment

including children, God knows!

And one position does not exclude the other.

Alright.

What a morning, huh?

Hey, you shaved.

I was right about my roommate.

She and the trail guide are an item.

He told her about this waterfall.

It's only a 40-minute hike.

We're all going there after lunch.

Great. Sounds like a good time.

-Well, come with us. -I don't think so.

I-I'm sure you and Johnny will have a good time

without me, though.

You sound as if you're jealous.

Oh, my word, Michael. You are jealous.

-Does it matter? -Michael...

Michael, I have a great time with you.

You're... You're funny.

You're smart. You're easy to talk to.

Don't say you like me as a friend.

-I do like you as a friend. -Great.

I hope we still can be friends.

Sure.

Don't be that way, Michael.

Come on. Go with us to the waterfall.

Look, of all the things I could do today

on a scale from one to ten

ten being eating all the chocolate ice cream

I could possibly dream of...

and one being having a root canal

going with you and Johnny to a waterfall

would be somewhere around the... minus two.

I hope you know I think of you as a friend.

What kind of friend moves to New York

after all I've done for you, after all I've paid you?

What happened to "Congratulations, Ted"?

"Way to go, Ted"?

Congratulations, Ted. Way to go.

This is an opportunity that I can't pass up.

I mean, this company is offering me the moon

and not just financially, I mean...

Although the financial package is very attractive.

I mean, they're giving me virtual autonomy

over my client list and ad campaigns.

I mean, they trust me.

I'm sure Murakame

would match that financial package.

Yes! But can they match their trust?

What?

What's going on with Murakame?

-You know everything I know. -I don't think so.

Why do the leg work

for a company who bought you out

and stands to gain millions as a result?

Why am I breaking my backside

trying to help you get on the conservationists

only to see you turn around and help Murakame ruin

a very fragile piece of the coastline?

You do things for a reason. What's in it for you?

Abby.

Abby.

You told me you needed a partner.

You said you wanted someone who wants to win.

You imply we were a team.

But if you keep me in the dark as to what's going on

how am I supposed to cover you

if I don't know what I'm covering?

That's why I'm leaving.

I'm not gonna be here when the sushi hits the fan.

[jazz music]

Thank you for the flowers.

What?

The flowers.

"I love you and I'm sorry. Frank."

So did... did I get you something?

"I love you and I'm sorry."

[laughs]

I love you and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

And I love you.

We've got the world's greatest daughter or what?

-We gotta stop this. -I know.

I know.

-About Gary, I just... -Wait, wait.

I wanted to.

But I didn't. And I won't.

I don't know, maybe...

You know, just some salad and some yogurt.

Well, I could cut up some vegetables

or maybe liver and onions.

-Or you know, we could go out. -I don't know.

-Unless pizza. -Pineapple and pepperoni?

Pineapple. Okay.

[laughs]

Come on, let's go.

-Hiya. -Gary, hi!

Kids ready?

-For what? -The movie.

What movie?

I'm taking the kids to a movie.

What do you mean? They're out with Aunt Ginny.

They won't be back for a couple of hours.

Oh my God, she planned this

[grunts] to try to get us back together again.

I am... This is so embarrassing.

I'm... I'm sorry, Gary.

[sighs]

Well, you'll be doing that the rest of the day?

-What? -How about a movie?

Come on, Gary. You don't have to do that.

No, no, no. I'm... I'm here. You're here.

There's no reason why we should not do something

just because somebody wants us to do it.

Anyway, my date just cancelled.

-Don't say date. -Okay. It's not a date.

What the hell?

What the hell?

Yeah, okay.

Right away. Thanks a lot.

Call your mother!

[Olivia] What?

Your mother called Michael.

Michael called here. You gotta call your mom.

[Olivia] What?

[shouting] Call your mother!

[Olivia] It's been a wonderful day.

-I'm glad. -I could stay here forever.

[Abby] Why haven't you called?

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. I've...

I have just been having such a good time.

Well, I wanted to make sure everything was all right.

Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah.

Look, I got to run.

There's a lecture I wanna get to, okay?

Okay.

-Bye, honey. -Okay, bye.

-A lecture, huh? -Yeah.

I figured you were going to lecture me

on what an awful person I am.

-Where are you going? -Take a shower.

I used up all the hot water.

That's the idea.

[piano music]

Hi.

I'm ranger Paula Vertosick

and I'd like to welcome you to Wild Horse Mountain.

If you have any questions, please feel free to interrupt.

Well, it isn't perfect, but we did our best.

It's fine, it's exactly the kind of suite

we need to set up.

I'll do the paperwork and we'll take it

off your monthly balance sheet.

Great.

Well, it's very nice meeting you

and if you need anything, just call.

-Thank you. -Bye.

Bye-bye.

[squealing] Yeah!

[piano music]

Oh, it was a nice lecture.

Thank you.

I would've bet five dollars you hadn't heard a word I said.

Oh, I did.

I-I had no idea Rockefeller slept here.

Roosevelt.

You just seemed sort of distracted.

Yeah. well, it's been a rough couple of days.

School?

No. Women.

I have this rotten luck with women.

I don't know what it is.

But every time I meet somebody I like, you know

she turns out to be a...

[sighs] I don't even know why I'm saying this.

I'm sorry.

I mean, I'm getting personal with a stranger and...

I-I'm not coming on to you or anything like that.

-No, I know. That's okay. -Well, I'm sorry.

I liked your lecture. It was nice.

-Well, goodnight. -Hey, wait a minute.

It's all right to talk to a stranger

because you're not gonna meet them again.

And aren't you supposed to be on spring break?

Come on, you're supposed to be relaxing

having a good time.

Sit down. Come on, have a seat.

No, I...

I really should get going.

-Okay. -But thanks for asking.

I mean, yeah, great idea.

-I think I'll stay. -Is that your friend?

[sighs] Please don't even say the word friend.

So tired of women wanting to be my friend.

She looks jealous to me.

-She does? -Yes.

It doesn't make sense.

Of course it does.

People always want what they don't have.

I have an idea. Come on. This will get her. Come on.

Michael, I wanna show you those constellations.

Okay.

[Paula] You'll never see the stars in the city

the way you can up here.

-I can't believe you did that. -That was fun.

-What college do you go to? -The Tech Institute.

-You're kidding! -Yeah.

Because I'm gonna be lecturing there this semester.

-Really? -Really.

On the ecology of coastal wetlands.

Oh, well, you're not such a stranger after all.

Does this mean I'll have to avoid you

because I told you all my personal problems?

Your secrets are safe with me.

-I'm Paula Vertosick. -Yeah, I remember.

From the lecture. I'm Michael Fairgate.

Thanks for coming to my lecture, Michael Fairgate.

Oh, my pleasure.

-Thanks for rescuing me. -It was my pleasure.

-So, I see you on campus? -Yeah.

-Goodnight. -Goodnight.

-Karen... -I couldn't concentrate.

We've got a problem.

You're on the board with your dear Abby.

-You have meetings with her. -Every week.

-Every week. -Every week.

Every week, for years to come.

-It's upsetting. -It is upsetting.

And under those conditions...

we'll never have sex again.

[sighs]

Unless...

Unless...

you really make an effort.

[jazz music]

[phone ringing]

-Yeah? -You're not out on the town?

No, uh...

I'm just relaxing in the bosom of my family.

Not the whole family.

Abby's working late. I checked her schedule.

I was, uh, glancing at the newspaper

and saw a response to yesterday's column.

You know, the one you left on my desk?

The one that I put on your desk?

Yeah. Ann Landers. The sex survey.

[chuckles]

-Sex is a funny thing, isn't it? -It makes me laugh.

I mean, I think people take sex too seriously sometimes.

-And say you or I had an affair. -[Greg] With whom?

I don't know. Uh...

Each other, let's say.

Now, you and I can go to bed together

because, well, after all, it's just sex.

Well, some people take it more seriously than that.

Um, some people. But not everyone.

[Paige] I mean, some people say that going to bed

with someone who's married is wrong.

But I say it depends on who that someone is.

Would it help to meet the head of Murakame?

Yes.

Ta-da!

[laughs]

Where did you get the name? Out of a phone book?

Oh, that's a trade secret.

No more secrets.

Does that mean you'll stay?

[music continues]

I love...

LA.

Yes.

The phone book.

[Paige] And then there's the problem

that marriage sex can get boring.

I mean, it says right here. "The sameness is boring.

"Same place, same time, the same position."

Well, some people just aren't creative.

[Paige] And on the other hand,

it is possible to take sex too lightly

or too seriously.

I mean, some people imbue what is essentially

a physiological act with a lot of psychological meaning.

And for some people, it represents

another level of commitment.

-Thanks. -It was fun.

[music continues]

[Olivia] This weekend was a real bummer.

Don't you know why I love you? Huh?

Don't you know why?

It's because you're so nice and wonderful.

I never thought anybody that was decent

would ever look at me more than twice.

What are you saying, that nice girls don't do it?

I'm talking about what we're doing here

[sighs] We haven't been doing anything, Harold,

if you haven't noticed.

I'm not talking about sex.

I'm talking about lying.

You're telling your mother one thing

and you're doing another. It's dishonest!

[music continues]

So this means that you don't want me

to spend the night?

Sex doesn't have to mean commitment

Well, unless you read that into it.

I suppose it can be beautiful.

I suppose it can.

But it can also be fun.

Yeah, you're talking to a guy who has nothing against fun.

Well, the reason that I'm not inviting you over

to my new apartment tonight--

[Greg] Your new apartment?

You mean to tell me that you're not living

with Ma and Pa Kettle anymore?

The reason that I'm not inviting you over

to have sex tonight...

is because I don't know what you'd bring to it.

I don't know if you'd want it to be beautiful

or fun.

[music continues]

[sighs]

Dear Ann Landers.

If sex was any better...

I'd be a dead man.

-[narrator] Next, on Knots Landing... -Why don't you come to dinner?

We can go over all your research there.

-I don't wanna get in the way. -You won't get in the way.

I have to eat, and you can meet my husband.

How long do you think you can keep your ownership

of Murakame a secret?

As long as it takes to get the permits.

I wanna talk to those people at Murakame.

What?

[Mack] Michael, is your teacher here yet?

-She sure is. -I'm here.

Come on down. Meet her.

Paula, this is my husband, Mack MacKenzie.

["Let's Do It [Let's Fall in Love]" plays]

♪ Birds do it Bees do it ♪

♪ Even educated fleas do it ♪

♪ Let's do it Let's fall in love ♪