03x06 - Old Man Thyme/Chowder's Magazine

[bunniefuu]

Chowder: ♪ you take the

Moon, and you take the sun ♪

Chowder: ♪ you take

Everything that seems like fun ♪

Truffles: ♪ you stir it all

Up, and when you're done ♪

Shnitzel: ♪ radda radda radda

R-r-radda radda ♪

All: ♪ so, come on in ♪

♪ Feel free to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

♪ Come on in ♪

♪ Feel free to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

Yeah!

[ Applause ]

Chowder: the tale I'm about

To tell you is a true tale --

A tale of intrigue, suspense,

And misrepresentation.

[ timpani play ]

Are there ghosts?

Uh, mother strictly forbids

Ghost stories after 10:00 p.m.

Chowder: there are no ghosts.

Whew!

Then continue, mon frã¨re.

Chowder: it was a morning

Much like any other.

the same sun was upon my

lavender face.

i had the same dream about the

porcupine in the soap dish.

[ Ploing! ]

got dressed in the same purple

clothes.

[ Birds tweeting ]

[ Plink! ]

[ Plunk! ]

tripped on that same flork on

the floor.

Oy!

i even walked down the same

stairs.

but today was different.

today was the day my life would

change...

forever!

overnight, mr. Mung was

transformed into a hideous

misshaped beast!

Mung daal: [ rasps ]

[ Smacks lips ]

[ Yawns ]

Good morning, chowder.

Chowder: and his nose --

a ravaged landscape of decay

and disease!

Mung daal: hey, why do you

Have that strange look on your

Face?

Chowder: what strange look?

Mung daal: there.

You did it again.

Chowder: I don't have a

Strange look, mung!

you do!

[ Sobbing ] see for yourself!

[ Sloop! ]

[ chuckling ]

Mung daal: oh, I just haven't

Put on my face yet.

You see, chowder, it's all part

Of becoming...

Old people.

Chowder: what's old people?

Mung daal: well, here's one

Now!

Here, you can plainly see the

Effects of old.

Truffles: there's no escaping

The ravages of old age, chowder.

Mung daal: that's right.

No escape.

Chowder: you mean I'm gonna

Look like you ugly, gross

People?!

Mung daal: well, the computer

Indicates something more like

this.

Truffles: in time, you too

Will become...

[ Ominously ] one of us.

Chowder: but I don't --

Both: one of us.

One of us.

One of us.

Chowder: no, no!

Stay back!

Mung daal: us...

Truffles: us...

Chowder: aah!

I will never be old people like

You!

Never!

[ Clatter! ]

[ Blurble! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Whistles ]

[ Rattle! ]

[ Splat! ]

[ Whip! Whip! Whip! ]

[ Whip! Whip! Whip! ]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

I will never get old as long as

I'm moist.

I'll be young forever!

[ Gags ]

And youth will rule the planet!

Mung daal: listen, chowder.

You'll have to get used to the

Idea of getting old.

Aging is a natural process.

I'm afraid old man thyme gets

Us all at some point.

Chowder: old man thyme?

Hey, I know that guy!

Mung daal: no!

Old man thyme's not a person.

It's a figure of speech.

And blah, blah, blah, blah,

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

Blah...

Chowder: it was that moment

that my mission became clear.

i had to stop old man thyme

from giving me the wrinkles!

Mung daal: blah, blah...

Chowder: old man thyme!

I'm onto you, old man thyme...

Aging me even as we speak.

[ Whoomp! ]

I see you and your evil ways.

Prepare to be insulated!

[ Blam! ]

[ Whistling ]

Young man, might I interest

You in a...

[ Clears throat ]

...paperweight?

Oh...

Chowder: aah!

[ Chatter! ]

"Paperweight," nothing!

You're old man thyme!

Yes.

And this is my wife, parsley.

[ Sloop! ]

Baah!

I have just the paperweight

For you.

I offer competitive prices and

Coupons, and you can join our

Frequent-paperweight-purchasers

Club for added savings.

Chowder: enough of your talk!

Prepare to meet your doom!

Oy!

Oh...

I am afraid I have to call the

Police cops now.

Now, let's see...




Chowder: you win this round,

Old man thyme!

But I'll be back!

I always come back!

Always!

Aah!

[ Crumble! Shatter! ]

Alwa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ys!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Sirens wail ]

Yes, officer, he went that

Way.

He's a ruffian!

[ Sirens wail, tires squeal ]

Chowder: [ laughing

Maniacally ]

I got you now.

[ Laughing maniacally ]

[ Boing! Boing! Boing! ]

[ Gagging ]

[ Gulps ]

[ Belches ]

[ Laughs ]

I did it!

Old man thyme can never escape

His lair!

But he is a most powerful enemy.

I better add one last line of

Defense to make sure he stays in

There forever!

[ Amplifier buzzes ]

[ Loud rock music plays ]

Chowder: old people hate

Guitar solos.

I win!

You hear me, old man?

I win!

[ Laughing maniacally ]

Yeah, it hurts.

Hello!

Why is that hooligan doing this

To me?

I better call 911.

What was the number?

Chowder: [ humming ]

[ Twinkle! Twinkle! ]

Hi, panini.

Panini: chowder?

You're never so glad to see me.

Chowder: yeah.

Normally, I'd be revolted at the

Sight of you, but today's

Different.

I just conquered old man thyme.

Panini: oh.

He's such a little weirdy.

i'm a little weirdy, panini.

Chowder: hi, gazpacho.

I just conquered old man thyme!

That's nice, chowder, but not

Now!

I'm drawing customers with

Drawings!

Ha-h*!

Get it?

Chowder: no.

[ French accent ] your

Portrait, sir.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

Aaaaah!

[ Normal voice ] uh, you forgot

Your -- your portrait!

I'm just gonna let it here to

Dry.

Come on back...

Later.

So, what's up shakin', dealio?

Chowder: no.

Yeah, yeah. Great.

Chowder, have you ever had your

Portrait painted?

Chowder: good idea.

Now that I'm young forever, I am

The perfect muse.

A little swoop of the cheeks,

And a lit--

[ Laughing ] that's a nose.

Ruby lips.

Uh, mm, too much rube.

All right.

Little less.

There we go!

Yes!

Here you are, chowder --

Your exact likeness.

Chowder: but I look old!

And puffy!

Look, I just paints it likes

I sees it, jack.

Chowder: then it's just as I

Suspected.

Old man thyme got me when I

Wasn't looking.

He made me...the old.

I underestimated his powers.

You might have won the battle,

But you haven't won the battle!

Excuse me.

Do you have the time?

Chowder: huh?

The time.

Do you have the time?

[ Old people grumbling ]

Chowder: he's made everyone

Old!

What kind of evil wizardry is

This?!

Attention!

It's clear that we've all been

Made old by old man thyme!

But fear not!

Whew!

Sha!

I'm on it!

Swhew!

[ Gleam! ]

Okay.

Who's here for the prune sale?

[ Old people grumbling ]

Chowder: a goo, goo, goo,

Goo, goo, goo, goo!

A goo, goo, goo, hoo!

A goo, goo, goo!

A goo, goo, goo, goo, goo!

A goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo.

A goo, goo, goo.

[ Babies babbling ]

[ Horn blows ]

[ Whip! Clank! ]

[ Deep voice ] baby army, hear

Me.

[ Coughs ]

[ Normal voice ] 'scuse me.

We stand here naked, cold, with

Soiled diapers for a noble

Cause.

No longer shall old man thyme

Whither away the good looks of

Marzipan city!

No longer shall he make us smell

Like day-old cabbage!

Rise up, babies.

Rise up and let youth conquer

Age!

[ Babies babbling ]

Oh, no! Babies!

Chowder: no! Not that way!

Get old man thyme!

Get --

N-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Aww, look at all the cute

Babies.

No!

It's too many!

It's --

Aaaaaaaaah!

[ Babies babbling ]

[ Roars ]

Aaaaaah!

Babies!

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Haaaah!

Chowder: no! No, get him!

Get --

Oh!

Ow!

Get --

Doh-h*!

Oof!

[ Clicks tongue ]

Will that hooligan never learn?

Now, let's see...





So, is that how you ended up

In this prison cell?

Chowder: yes.

That is correct.

Wow!

Great story!

I especially loved the part with

Me in it.

You got your bail,

Mr. Chowder.

Chowder: oh, mung!

They did horrible, horrible

Things to me!

They fed me unsalted potato

Chips!

[ Sobs ]

I never want to be separated

From you again!

Ever!

Oh, and I miss you, too,

Truffles.

Truffles: listen, chowder,

It's okay to age, as long as you

Do it gracefully -- like me.

Has anyone seen my medicated

Denture pads?

Mung daal: and with age, you

Can grow your own mu-stache.

[ Scratch! Scratch! Scratch! ]

Chowder: I can feel some

Stubble!

Great, kid.

Now, the real question is, what

Are we gonna do about this baby

Infestation?

[ Babies babbling ]

[ Thud! ]

Chowder: extra! Extra!

Read all about us!

Find out what really goes on

Inside mung's kitchen!

Ever wonder how mung flosses his

Big ol' teeth?

What animal am I supposed to be?

Why doesn't shnitzel like you?

Where is that smell coming from?

And will I ever stop talking?

What's the matter with you

People?!

Don't you want to know where

Mung and shnitzel really go when

They say they're getting

Groceries?!

Mung daal: chowder, what is

The meaning of all this?

Chowder: you can read all

About it in the fork and spoon

weekly, the newspaper that

Chronicles the inner workings of

The kitchen.

Breaking news!

Advice.

Want ads.

"Rada rada seeking rada rada

Rada."

Mung daal: you devil, you.

Shnitzel: [ sighs ]

Chowder: even the juicy

Tabloids!

There's even a secret recipe!

[ Plirk! ]

[ telegraph beeping ]

Mung daal: chowder, you can't

Reveal my secret recipes!

And that doesn't even look like

Me.

Chowder: you're right!

That's better.

Mung daal: chowder, how many

Have you sold?

Chowder: let's see.


Can you hold this for a sec?


Are you gonna buy that?

Mung daal: no.

Chowder: then none.

I've sold none.

Mung daal: oh, thank heavens!

For a second there, I actually

Thought someone bought one of

Chowder's silly newspapers.

[ Sproing! Sproing! Sproing! ]

Chowder: [ crying ] I'm a

Failure!

Mung daal: aw, come on!

You're not a failure.

You just didn't succeed.

There's a difference.

Chowder: but what could be

More interesting than this

Awesome crossword puzzle?

Mung daal: chowder, do you

Think I'm a successful chef just

Because my food tastes good?

Truffles: your food tastes

Good?

Mung daal: I'm a success

Because I give the customer

Something more.

Truffles: indigestion?

Mung daal: I give the

Customer an experience.

Truffles: yeah, a horrible

Experience.

'Cause your food is gross.

Mung daal: okay! Stop it!

Really!

Truffles: not another word.

About your yucky cooking.

Not one word.

Mung daal: thank you.

Truffles: even though it's

Yucky, I'll keep quiet.

Mung daal: thank you.

[ Clears throat ]

As I was saying, I give the

Customer an experience.

First, they experience the look,

Then the smell, then the taste.

Truffles: then the run to the

Toilet.

Mung daal: please, will you

Stop it?!

Truffles: sorry.

Couldn't help myself.

Mung daal: I have feelings,

Too, you know.

Truffles: aww, I know,

Mungy bum.

I'm sorry. I love you.

Mung daal: yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love you, too.

So, my point is, chowder, your

Magazine has to do the same.

Let me see the cover again.

[ Laughs ]

Well --

Aah! There's a problem!

You have to grab them with a

Visual experience.

You need a snazzy cover.

Chowder: but what could be

Snazzier than a big block of

Text?

Hey, I know!

I'll do a cover story on the

Most important person in the

Kitchen!

The "m.i.p."

Mung daal: good idea!

Truffles: the m.i.p. --

How cute!

Shnitzel: radda!

Mung daal: so, when do you

Want to take my picture?

Truffles: whoa, whoa, whoa,

Whoa!

What, do you just assume it's

Gonna be you?

Shnitzel: radda!

Mung daal: I'm the chef.

It's my kitchen.

The place is named after me.

See?

Truffles: well, now, we're

Both just as important as you.

Shnitzel: radda!

Truffles: well, me more than

him.

Shnitzel: radda!

Radda?

Radda radda radda radda!

Truffles: don't oversell

Yourself, dear.

You're a forklift with eyes.

Mung daal: well, I say we let

Chowder decide.

Remember, boy, I love you more

Than they do.

Chowder: this is gonna be

Tough.

Really tough.

Like tough plus more tough times

Tough to the power of tough.

Okay, everyone.

Show me why you deserve to be

The m.i.p.

Truffles: running this place

Takes skill, charm, and you have

To be able to multitask.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello, darling.

How may we help you?

Here's your change, dear.

Order up!

Please have a seat.

Your order will be ready

Shortly.

One at a time, please.

Don't crowd.

Chowder: [ sniffs ]

Mung daal: ah, there you are,

Chowder.

I was just about to pull some

Fumplings out of the oven.

I know how much you like

Fumplings.

[ Foosh! ]

[ Foosh! ]

[ Foosh! ]

Let's see what we've got.

[ Fooooooooooosh! ]

[ Siren wailing ]

Chowder: wow, shnitzel!

You have crazy hose skills!

Shnitzel: radda.

Uh, radda radda.

[ Crank! ]

[ Rumble! ]

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Truffles: I guess he couldn't

Stand the heat.

You see, chowder, without me,

There wouldn't be any water to

Put out the fires...

Or food to stock the

Refrigerators...

Because I'm the one paying all

The water bills and the gas

Bills and the --

Chowder: gee, I always

Thought mung provided the hot

Air in here.

Truffles: i keep this place

Running.

Mung daal: well, it looks

Like someone forgot to pay the

Electric bill.

Good thing I made these

Glow-d'oeuvres.

Taste the innovation.

Chowder: yes, please!

[ Munching ]

Shnitzel: ra-dda.

Uh, radda, radda?

Mung daal: of course I used

Milk in these glow-d'oeuvres.

Shnitzel: radda?

[ Laughs ]

Uh, radda, radda?

[ Gurgle! Gurgle! ]

[ Ooze! ]

[ Splat! Sizzle! ]

[ Boom! ]

Mung daal: you told me that

Milk was still good!

Chowder: blaah!

Shnitzel: radda radda!

Radda radda.

[ Singsong voice ] radda radda.

Chowder: thanks, shnitzel.

You're the best.

Both: the best?!

Truffles: [ singsong voice ]
oh, nurse.

When you have a moment, I need

You to deliver this package --

To the southwest pole!

Shnitzel: radda.

Mung daal: and while you're

Out, I need you to pick up a few

Things.

Bye-bye, now. Toodles!

Truffles: see ya.

Mung daal: see ya later.

Truffles: bye-bye, now.

Mung daal: au revoir.

Truffles: shabbat shalom.

Mung daal: goodbye.

Truffles: buh-bye.

Pay attention, now, chowder.

There's something I want to show

You.

Mung daal: [ as truffles ]

Look at me! I'm truffles!

I like to multitask!

Order up!

How may I help you?

Here's your change!

[ Whump! ]

Truffles: [ as mung ] take me

Home!

Ooh, I'm delicious!

Ooh, the ladies love me!

Look at my mustache!

Chowder: mung looks shorter

Than usual.

I'm not paying for this.

Mung daal: it's her fault!

Truffles: it's his fault!

That's not how I run my

Register.

Mung daal: I would never

Serve myself undercooked.

You people are deranged!

And I am never coming back!

Mung daal: it's her fault!

Truffles: it's his fault!

Chowder: how am I supposed to

Choose the most important person

In the catering company?

I thought it would be like

Choosing a pizza topping!

But it's harder!

Oh, so much harder!

I guess I'll just have a plain

Cheese cover for my magazine.

Mung daal: maybe we should

Give up on this.

Truffles: yeah, you're right.

You should give up!

I'm the most important person

Here, and I'm gonna make sure

Everyone knows it!

Me, me, me, me, me!

Mung daal: over my blue body!

[ Pop! ]

Truffles: are you ready for a

Cover sh**t?

Mung daal: yes, as a matter

Of fact, I am.

Chowder: I don't know.

I'm beginning to think this was

A bad idea.

[ Clong! ]

Mung daal: nonsense, chowder.

With me on the cover, you can't

Lose.

Truffles: unless you want to

Be fired!

That cover belongs to me, right,

Chowder?

Mung daal: no way!

I've got a better mustache than

You!

Truffles: barely!

[ Creeeeeak! ]

Chowder: uh, guys, that kind

Of --

Both: stay out of this,

Chowder!

Chowder: [ groaning ]

Mung daal: let go of him!

Truffles: you let go!

Ugh!

Chowder: [ groaning ]

Truffles: [ groaning ]

Mung daal: [ groaning ]

Chowder: ay yai yai yai yai

Yai yai yai yai!

Shnitzel: radda ra--

Radda?!

[ Creeeeeeeeeeak! ]

Radda radda radda!

Raaaah!

Mung daal: oh, get real,

Shnitzel.

[ Straining ] you don't have

What it takes to be m.i.p.

[ Blam! ]

[ Both groaning ]

[ Whap! ]

[ Zoom! ]

Mung daal: oh, aah!

[ Zip! ]

Truffles: aaaaaaaaaaah!

[ Zip! Zip! Zip! ]

[ Zip! ]

[ Zoom! ]

[ Zoom! ]

[ Creak! Whistle! ]

[ Bonk! ]

[ Zip! ]

[ Clang! Clang! Clang! ]

[ Zip! Warble! ]

[ Boom! ]

Truffles: [ mumbling ]

Shnitzel: ra...

Haaaaaaa...

Mung daal: oh, whoa, ohhhh.

Chowder: ohhhhhhhhhh, no.

My dream is dead, just like the

Feeling in my arms.

Mung daal: [ snoring ]

[ Door slams ]

[ All gasp ]

Mung daal: I'm up!

[ Sighs ]

We kind of got carried away,

Huh?

Truffles: yeah.

Over a silly little title.

Shnitzel: radda.

Radda radda radda radda.

Mung daal: shnitzel's right.

None of us deserve it.

We put ourselves over the

Welfare of the company.

We're monsters.

And by that, I mean we're acting

Like monsters.

Technically, shnitzel's the

Monster 'cause he's a rock

Monster.

Shnitzel: radda radda.

Mung daal: radda radda, yeah.

And truffles looks like a

Monster.

Truffles: true.

Mung daal: come on.

Let's get back to work.

Chowder: that's the m.i.p.

Spirit I was looking for!

The three of you worked together

To clean up the whole kitchen!

And for that, I'm putting all of

You on the cover!

You three have made me proud.

Congratulations, broom, dustpan,

And trash can!

[ Bong! ]

[ Customers clamoring ]

I want that!

Give it to me!

Chowder: you were right,

Mung!

The cover story was a hit!

But I'm afraid our cover boys

Have let the fame go to their

Heads.

[ Tires screech ]

We quit.

[ Tires squeal ]

[ All cough ]

Truffles: well, I guess we

Learned our lesson.

You can keep your cover story.

Mung daal: you said it.

Shnitzel: radda radda radda.

Chowder: hey, guys.

Get your suntan lotion out,

'Cause the next issue is the

Swimsuit edition!

[ Laughter ]

Shnitzel: radda radda.

Mung daal: swimsuits.

Mung, mung, I have some very

Disturbing news!

Mung daal: what?!

I was rooting through your

Fridge, and you won't believe

What I found!

Mung daal: oh, my gosh! What?

Well, it's more what I

couldn't find.

I couldn't find any snacks that

I like.

I must ask you that you make me

Something right away.

Preferably something with cheese

In it.

Or -- ooh! -- Chocolate-covered.

I will accept either.

Mung daal: I've got an idea.

How 'bout I make you a big bowl

Of whup-tushy?

Sure. That sounds gre--

Aah!

Uh, oh, I get it.

I get it.

It's not funny, but I get it.