02x10 - The Dinner Theater

[bunniefuu]

Mung daal: ♪ you take the

Moon, and you take the sun ♪

Chowder: ♪ you take

Everything that seems like fun ♪

Truffles: ♪ you stir it all

Up, and when you're done ♪

Shnitzel: ♪ radda radda radda

R-r-radda radda ♪

All: ♪ so, come on in

♪ Feel free to do some looking

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

♪ Come on in

♪ Feel free to do some looking

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

Yeah!

[ Applause ]

Truffles: we need customers.

Anybody got any ideas?

Mung daal: bake sale?

Truffles: okay, clearly,

Nobody likes your cooking!

Chowder: unicorn rides?

Truffles: we don't have a

Unicorn.

What else?

Shnitzel: radda radda?

Truffles: that's disgusting.

Mung daal: clowns!

Shnitzel: ra!

Truffles: [ growls ]

Shnitzel: unh.

Truffles: does anybody have

Any real ideas?!

How's about dinner theater?

All: gazpacho!

What are you doing here?!

Somebody needed to move the

Plot along.

[ Laughter ]

But seriously, if you're looking

For a cash cow, theater is the

Way to go!

[ Laughter ]

I'd open one myself, but mother

Keeps telling me to take my show

On the road!

[ Laughter ]

Mung daal: hey, will you stop

With the canned laughter

Already?

Sorry.

Mung daal: you know, that

Idea ain't half bad, gazpacho.

I've been looking for a reason

To use the stage I built in the

Middle of the kitchen.

Truffles: it's settled then!

Mung daal's mystery dinner

Theater holds auditions

Tomorrow!

[ Film projector whirring ]

[ Giggling ]

[ Clears throat ]

♪ Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi

Truffles: next!

♪ You-you-you-you-you

Truffles: next!

Shnitzel: radda.

Radda radda radda radda radda.

Radda radda radda.

Radda!

Truffles: next!

Mung daal: we're gonna have

To cast someone, trufflekins.

Truffles: fine!

You can be a tree!

Next!

Shnitzel: radda radda radda!

Truffles: oh, yeah?

Well, then you should have

Brought some of that fire to

Your audition!

Next!

Panini: hi, chowder.

Chowder: next!

[ Splat! ]

Panini: [ crying ]

Chowder, how could you?

Truffles: it's the best

Acting I've seen all day!

Mung daal: ooh, I think she'd

Be perfect in the role of

Miss sweetie pie, the mysterious

Young ingenue from a foreign

Port of call.

Truffles: ooh, I couldn't

Agree more!

You, blubbering pink thing, you

Are miss sweetie pie!

Panini: [ gasps ]

Thank you!

Now I can profess my love for

Chowder to a whole audience.

See you at the rehearsal,

Numnums.

Chowder: mung, I don't think

I like theater.

Mung daal: congratulations,

Pal, you've learned life's

Lesson number one.

Okay, we have a tree and an

Ingenue, so now all we need for

Our production of "whodunit?

'Twas not me: a victorian romp

Through the world of barbershop

Farce" is a baron von bonbon.

Truffles: where are we ever

Gonna find a baron von bonbon?

[ Zip! ]

[ German accent ] look no

Further, my dear.

All: gazpacho!

There is no gazpacho here --

Only...baron von bonbon.

Mung daal: incredible!

Truffles: inspired!

Chowder: amazing!

[ Normal voice ] yeah!

I know!

It's the power of acting!

All you need is a costume, and

You're instantly transformed.

Chowder: acting!

Mung, I want to be, uh, acting,

Too.

Mung daal: well, that's

Great.

What do you want to be?

Chowder: princess!

Mung daal: no parts for a

Princess.

Chowder: pantyhose!

Mung daal: nope.

Chowder: sewer grate!

[ Blink! ]

Mung daal: you know what we

do need, though.

Chowder: [ giggles ]

What?

Mung daal: supersleuth

Detective schmerlock honeycombs.

Chowder: a detective!

I know just what to wear.

[ Zip! ]

[ Blink! ]

Mung daal: chowder, that's

Not --

Chowder: [ crying ]

Mung daal: detective, yeah,

Awesome.

In the early '80s, I originated

The role of mr. Mungstopheles in

The lasagnatown production of

"Schvats."

That's when I became aware of

The power of the theater.

It changed me.

I mean, don't get me wrong --

Cooking is my life, my

Livelihood.

But I don't know.

There's something about the

Pancake makeup, stage combat,

And spandex that is just

So...so...

Truffles: wrong.

Chowder: my dear schwatson,

You failed to notice one key

Piece of evidence.

The butter never wears pants.

I still don't like theater, but

When it's good, it's really

Good.

Hey, gazpacho, you want to

Rehearse for the play?

[ German accent ] there's no

Gazpacho here -- only...

[ Whip! ]

...baron von bonbon.

Chowder: I'd like to speak to

Gazpacho, please.

I wouldn't bother looking for

Your friend gazpacho anymore.

Chowder: why not?

He had to...

[ Slice! ]

Step out for a minute.

Chowder: is -- is that blood?

Maybe it is, or maybe it is

Simply tomato juice.

[ Slurp! ]

It is so hard to say.

Chowder: I think you k*lled

Gazpacho.

Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't.

Oh, you'll never know the truth.

[ Laughing evilly ]

[ Normal voice ] and...scene.

Wow, I love acting!

What a rush!

It's like I can totally forget

About mother.

Chowder: why?

Did you k*ll her, too?

Aah!

[ Zip! ]

Boy, chowder is really

Committed to his craft.

I better add more costume to

Keep up.

[ Laughs evilly ]

So, yeah, babe, the theater's

Great, but I've basically nailed

It, babe.

I am ready for bigger things,

Babe.

I've grown too big for my

Britches, babe.

My britches are, in fact, full,

Babe -- so full, I got my sights

Set on the big time, babe.

That's right, I'm talking

Schmollywood, babe.

The lights, the glitter, the

Gl-- oh!

[ Cellphone rings ]

It's my agent. Got to take this.

[ Beep ]

Talk to me.

[ Squeaking ]

Mother, I told you -- no more

Commercials!

I am only accepting superhero

Roles.

You're fired!

[ Click! ]

Babe!

[ Cellphone rings ]

[ Squeaks ]

Yes, I will pick up milk on

The way home.

[ Click! ]

Mung daal: and sashay,

Sashay.

Sashay!

Shnitzel: radda radda radda.

Mung daal: look, there's a

Hundred way more qualified girls

Right outside that would k*ll

For that part.

Well, I guess that counts me

Out.

Mung daal: ceviche, bring up

The light cue for the big

Barn-dance number!

Okay.

[ Creak! ]

Careful.

Don't drop me.

Whoops.

[ Crash! ]

Mung daal: frick-a-frackin'

Lighting designers!

Can't we just get through one

Frick-a-frackin' scene without a

Disaster?!

Chowder: aah!

Mung! Mung! Where are you?!

Mung daal: maybe we should

Put on a circus instead.

Chowder: oh, there you are.

Mung! I have an emergency!

Mung daal: oh, please tell me

You didn't go to the bathroom in

Your costume.

Chowder: not yet.

Mung daal: then what's your

Emergency?

Chowder: I think

Baron von bonbon is a k*ller!

Mung daal: oh, he's a k*ller,

All right.

[ German accent ] forswears,

Oh, yonder, forsooth.

Thee and henceforth!

[ Normal voice ] or is it

Hencefifth?

Mung daal: k*lling his

Lines!

Chowder: oh, no!

Now he's k*lling his lines!

Who's he gonna k*ll next, mung?

Mung daal: are you telling me

You haven't read your script,

Schmerlock honeycombs?

Chowder: who is

Schmerlock honeycombs?

Mung daal: you! Remember?!

Chowder: then where's

Chowder?

Mung daal: oh, this show is

Doomed!

Chowder: why do you look so

Sad?

[ Gasps ]

Oh, no, it's because he k*lled

Chowder, too!

Don't worry, mung.

Schmerlock honeycombs is on the

Case.

Mung daal: truffles!

Is it too late to recast?!

Panini: I think I'm handling

Fame pretty well.

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

But sometimes, I just want to be

Able to drink a schmappuccino

In peace.

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

Is that too much to ask?!

Mung daal: now, baron, let's

Practice that stabbing

Technique for the big m*rder

Scene.

No problemo.

Aah! Aah!

[ German accent ] ah, you will

Take this und the face.

Aah! Aah!

Panini: hi.

Chowder: I'm too young to

Die!

Panini: numnums, relax.

It's just me.

Chowder: I'm too young to get

Married!

Panini: oh, you're so silly.

This is just my costume.

The wedding dress you buy me

Will be way more expensive.

[ Laughs ]

Cha-ching!

Chowder: panini, I don't have

Time for this.

I'm investigating a m*rder.

Panini: let's act out a scene

Together -- a love scene.

Chowder: go act somewhere

Else.

Panini: but, schmerlock, what

If that mean, old

Baron von bonbon tries to m*rder

Me?

[ Shrug! ]

You'd -- you'd let me...die?

Chowder: hey!

That gives me an idea!

See, I can't prove that the

Baron is a k*ller because I've

Never actually seen him do it.

But if I use you as bait and let

The baron k*ll you...

Panini: [ gasps ]

I'm done with you, chowder!

[ Crying ]

Chowder: ...then I can prove

That baron is a k*ller.

So, what do you think?

Panini?

[ Gasps ]

The baron strikes again!

Mung daal: [ screaming ]

Chowder: oh!

Aah! Aah!

Mung daal: ohh!

Ohh, my golly!

You are really getting good at

That stabbing motion, gazpacho.

Chowder: stop, fiend! Stop!

Mung daal: oh, look who's

Finally decided to join us for

Rehearsal.

Chowder: who?

Mung daal: that's it! I quit!

Actors, you are on your own for

The rest of the rehearsal!

Daddy needs a hot tub!

Chowder: wait! Mung!

[ Laughing evilly ]

I'm gonna k*ll on opening night!

[ Normal voice ] I can feel it!

Can't you feel it, little buddy?

[ Laughing evilly ]

Chowder: you won't be k*lling

Anything, baron -- not if

Schmerlock honeycombs has

Anything to say about it.

[ Blink! ]

To be continued after the break.

[ Trumpeting ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Mung daal: focus, people,

Focus!

We don't have much time!

Chowder: you're telling me!

Gorgonzola, ceviche, I need your

Help!

Sorry, designers don't deal

With actors.

It's a union thing.

Plus, we don't like you,

So...

Chowder: but baron von bonbon

Is on a k*lling rampage, and

He's gonna strike again on

Opening night!

Wow, someone's been bit by

The acting bug.

Chowder: oh, he doesn't bite.

His name is carl.

But for real!

Gazpacho and panini and chowder

Are dead, and who knows who's

Next?!

Oh, my gosh, panini's dead?

I never got to tell her how much

I loved her.

Wh-y-y-y-y?

[ Creak! ]

Aah!

[ Crash! ]

Chowder: so, will you help

Me?

We must avenge panini's

Death.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Idiot one and idiot two, I hate

To inform you, but, chowder,

You're alive, and

Baron von bonbon is not a real

Person.

Chowder: but he is a k*ller.

Yes, in the play.

Chowder: so, you agree.

Agree with what?

Chowder: that

Baron von bonbon is a k*ller.

No.

Chowder: but it's written

Right here in the script.

The script is for the play!

Chowder: what?

What?

Chowder: what?

What?

Please, stop fighting.

This world doesn't need any more

Hurt.

Why can't we just do a musical

Instead?

Nobody dies in musicals.

I die a little.

Chowder: hey!

That's a great idea!

If we do a musical, no one will

Die, 'cause everyone will be

Happy!

And just how do you plan to

Get everyone to learn a new

Musical by opening night?

Chowder: that's the brilliant

Part!

We don't tell anyone it's a

Musical!

That way, we can catch baron

Off guard!

Wow, you are some kind of

Genius.

Chowder: thank you.

That's really nice of you to

Say.

Yay. Musical, yay.

I love musicals, because they

Take everything that's great

About theater and add music.

[ Bonk! ]

Stop it.

I didn't do anything.

[ Blink! ]

[ Bonk! ]

Stop it!

I didn't do anything.

Mung daal: oh, my gosh, it's

The day of the show, y'all!

Truffles: yeah, but nobody's

Coming.

Who wants some theater?!

Aah!

[ Zip! ]

Truffles: guess I'll have to

Get out the legs.

[ Sloop! ]

Yoo-hoo!

Hey, I hear there's amazing

Theater happening.

Whoa! Can't wait!

It's gonna be a great show.

Truffles: works every time.

Oh, hello, ms. Endive.

Uh, what's wrong with your

Legs?

Mung daal: enjoy the show,

Endive.

I'll enjoy a good nap.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Twitter, twitter, twitter.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Twitter, twitter, twitter.

Truffles: can I get you a

Drink?

Uh, I'll have milk, please.

I told you I'm not working

Tonight.

You promised me a nice dinner

Away from the kids.

Can we just get through one

Night without a fight?

Please! One night!

That's all I ask!

Chowder: wow!

There's a lot of people out

There to protect.

You better keep those lights

Real bright and happy, guys.

We must avenge panini's

Death.

Chowder: good man.

I shall join the actor types

Backstage so as not to arouse

Suspicion.

[ Zip! ]

Mung daal: who's ready for

Some vocal warm-up?

Panini: mi-mi-maw-mi-moo,

Mi-mi-maw-mi-moo,

Mi-mi-maw-mi-moo!

He-meh-meh-meh-meh-meh-meh.

May-mi-my-moe-may-moo!

Mi-my-moe-may-moo!

Oh, through the voice, I am

Talking through the diaphragm.

A-ma.

Shnitzel: radda.

Chowder: hey, dudes.

Sorry I'm late.

Panini: [ growls ]

Chowder: hey!

What's she doing here?

Mung daal: panini's part of

The show, schmerlock.

Chowder: she's supposed to be

Dead!

This ruins everything!

Panini: [ gasps ]

[ German accent ] oh, don't

You worry,

Schmerlock honeycombs.

She will be kaputz soon enough.

[ Ting! ]

Chowder: you're gonna k*ll

Her again?

u again und again und

Again und again!

Mung daal: as long as we keep

Selling tickets.

Panini: duh.

That's how theater works.

Chowder: panini, but -- and

You are...in on it?

And you...and...shnitzel?

Shnitzel: radda.

Chowder: [ panting ]

Theater has made all of you lose

Your minds!

You're sick, sick people!

I must save you from yourselves

Before it's too late!

[ Door slams ]

Mung daal: thank goodness we

Have an understudy.

[ Blink! ]

Chowder: I don't have time

For an interview!

Someone's gonna die!

[ Zip! ]

[ Sloop! ]

[ Zip! ]

Maybe I can talk for a minute.

[ Munch! Munch! Munch! Munch!

Munch! ]

Mung daal: ladies and

Gentlemen...and endive!

[ Grumbling ]

Mung daal: [ laughing ]

Oh, anyhoo...

[ Laughs ]

Welcome to opening night of

Mung daal's latest scheme to

Make some money.

Wink, wink.

[ Laughs ]

Er, I mean, mung daal's

Super-high-quality mystery

Dinner theater!

[ Applause ]

But before we begin, I would

Like to treat y'all to a little

Pre-show entertainment, or pse,

As I like to call it.

I present to you

"Hospital dondã© esta."

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Applause ]

¿dondã©...esta?

Dondã©.

Dondã© esta.

Ah!

¿dond㩠esta?

Dondã© esta, esta.

Dondã©, dondã©, dondã©!

Esta. Dondã© esta.

Chowder: guys, guys!

Change of plans.

Through the power of theater...

[ Toilet flushes ]

...the baron has resurrected

Panini from the dead.

She's al-i-i-ive.

Chowder: but now he's gonna

k*ll her again.

N-o-o-o.

So, really no change of plans

At all.

Chowder: right.

Boy, am I lucky to have you

Guys.

Dondã© esta!

Dondã© esta!!

Dondã©...esta.

Oh! Dondã© esta!

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Applause ]

Mung daal: thank you, dondã©

Esta players.

Wasn't that magnificent?

Be sure to catch them next week

At the temecula retirement home

Playhouse.

Anyhoo, without further ado, I

Present "whodunit? 'Twas not

Me: a victorian romp through the

World of barbershop farce."

Please to enjoy.

[ Applause ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

Psst! Panini!

You have to speak!

Panini: huh?

Oh, right.

Whatever shall I do -- all alone

In this big house?

Thank you, thank you all so

Much.

You've been a lovely audience.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Yay, that was great!

Mung daal: wait, wait, it's

Not over!

All: [ groaning ]

Mung daal: and...action.

Please.

Panini: you got it.

I do hope nothing bad will

Happen.

[ Knocking on door ]

Hark, a knock at the door.

Who is it?

Why...'Tis...me...

Baron von bonbon.

I have come to...do away with --

[ Grunting ]

[ Normal voice ] you got to be

Kidding me.

[ German accent ] ...you.

[ Grunting ]

[ Normal voice ] ooh, gosh, I'm

Stuck in the door!

Chowder: quick!

Now's our chance!

All systems go.

We are ready to fan the flames

Of this musical.

[ Upbeat music plays ]

Brighter. Brighter.

Brighter.

Chowder: ♪ got to dance

Panini: what are you doing?

Chowder: ♪ I'm saving your

Life by keeping things happy ♪

♪ So the baron can't k*ll you

Panini: psst, what should we

Do?

Mung daal: the show must go

On.

I'm sending reinforcements.

Truffles: put me down!

[ Screams ]

Shnitzel: radda radda radda

Radda radda radda.

Mung daal: there is no tree

In this play, shnitzel.

It's a whodunit.

Shnitzel: radda radda radda

Radda.

Mung daal: well, I lied.

[ Sloop! Sloop! ]

Chowder: ♪ every time I'm

Feeling blue ♪

Truffles: ♪ I'm gonna kick

The schpelunk out of -- ♪

[ Plunk! ]

Chowder: more light!

All: [ screaming ]

Mung daal: [ gasps ]

Keep it going!

Just please keep it going!

[ Grunting ]

Will somebody get me out of this

Door?

Truffles: coming!

Chowder: ♪ I'm just wild

About hairpieces ♪

♪ And they're just wild about

Me ♪

Come on, guys! More light!

Gorgonzola, full throttle.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

There's no smoking!

I don't get paid enough for

This.

Keep pushing, g*ng.

Come on, we're almost there.

Chowder: ♪ I am the captain

Of the pinafore, a right good

Captain, too ♪

Whoa!

I'm free!

[ German accent ] now, where is

That miss sweetie pie?

[ Chuckles evilly ]

Yeah, get her!

Chowder: ♪ start spreading

Your shoes ♪

♪ I'm saving the day

All right, that's it!

I'm gonna finish her off myself.

Musicals just get me so fired

Up.

[ Growls ]

[ All growl ]

Oh, no, this isn't supposed

To happen in a musical.

Gorgonzola, cut the lights.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Shouting stops ]

[ Click! ]

[ All gasp ]

Truffles: [ gasps ]

Panini's dead?

Mung daal: who? Whodunit?

All: 'twas not me.

I must avenge panini's death!

Put me down, ceviche.

Sorry. I'm very upset.

Chowder: wait, wait!

She's breathing!

[ Blink! Blink! Blink! ]

Panini: I can tell you

Whodunit.

'Twas chowder, on the stage,

With the ability to take my

Breath away.

All: huh?

Shnitzel: radda?

Panini: yep, he kissed me

When the lights went out, and it

Made me faint.

I'd know the touch of those lips

Anywhere.

Chowder: I did not!

[ Smooching ]

Kiss, kiss.

Hiya, toots.

[ Pbht, pbht! ]

Panini: aah!

[ Zip! ]

Gross, gross, gross, gross,

Gross, gross, gross, gross,

Gross!

[ Door slams ]

Chowder: well, at least no

One died.

Well, at least not yet!

[ Thunder crashing ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

You can't run from me!

[ Laughing evilly ]

Mung daal: thank you, thank

You.

Give a big hand to the nice

Cast, will you?

Playing panini in this episode,

Chadi mabousse.

Playing truffles,

Plain pink lemonade.

Playing gazpacho,

Sir shredded wheaten.

Playing shnitzel, shnitzel's

Twin brother shwitzel.

Playing chowder...

[ Sloop! ]

...some really tall guy.

And last but not least, me...

Shrimps c*ck.

Thank you.

You've been a wonderful

Audience.

[ Snoring ]

Huh?

What? What did I miss?

[ Munching ]

Hmm, okay. Nutty, yet sweet.

Wait, no, salty.

Whoo, that's...pretty strong.

Yikes! Yeah, that burns!

Aah! It doesn't stop, does it?!

Whoo! Maybe a little water!

Quickly! Water!

Aah! Yikes! Whoa!

That really burns!

I'm burning my tongue off!

Fire! Aah!

Mung daal: you all right?

Oh, yeah. Whoo. Yeah, fine.

How about another bite of that?