01x02 - The Froggy Apple Crumple Thumpkin/Chowder's Girlfriend

[bunniefuu]

[theme song]

♪ You take the moon
and you take the sun ♪

♪ You take everything that
seems like fun ♪

♪ You stir it all up
and when you're done ♪

♪ Radda radda radda radda radda
radda radda ♪

♪ So come on in feel free
to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause
something's always cooking ♪

♪ Come on in feel free
to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause
something's always cooking ♪

[all]
Yeah!

[applause]

[upbeat music]

[munching]

[bell dings]

[upbeat music]

thud thud thud

thud

[slurping]

Don't you have somewhere to be?

[upbeat music]

[grunting]

[panting]

[male #1]
'Pistons for sale!'

Stop resistin'
and buy a piston.

[telephone rings]

[Truffles]
'Hello!'

'Mung Daal catering company.'

'You book it, we cook it.'

Ah, you'd like
to place an order?

Oh, terrific.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Oh, you mumble, darling.

Could you please spell that?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Excellent!

Oh, you spelled it wrong.

So, spell it again.

Well, look, which one of us is
the chef here, me or you?

[male #2]
'You?'

Oh, no, not me.

I am the chef's wife.

But I'll him what you want.

He will know you don't know
how to spell.

Honey, we got an order!

[Mung Daal]
'I can't see
through walls, woman!'

'Please just bring it to me.'

crash

Ah, perfect timing,
Chowder.

[clattering]

pop

[shatters]

Whoo!

That is some strong mint.

I love it.

Well, hello,
my young apprentice.

Ah, an order.

Whoa, it's a big one.

And it's spelled wrong.

It's a good thing
I had you go get the groceries.

Wait a second.

That can't be
everything on the list.

Well...I might have
snacked a little..

...on the way home.

Come on, out with it.

[retches]

sploosh

Blegh!

Rada rada rada.

No, I'm not going to have
Chowder sit this one out.

We're making a froggy apple
crumple thumpkin.

Rada rada rada rada?

thud

A froggy apple
crumple thumpkin?

Rada rada rada rada.

splash

Rada.

Yes, I know it's
a very difficult dish to make.

blah blah blah

Shnitzel, how many years
have you worked for me?

Rada rada.

And how many times
have I been wrong?

Rada rada.

Really? That many?

[retches]

Thanks for the ride, kid.

[band music]

Sweet beans in a basket!

Shnitzel, if you would.

splat splat

Nice job!

Rada.

Now, a froggy apple
crumple thumpkin

is an advanced-level dish.

An advanced level?

So I'll need you
to stay focused at..

Get back over here!

It's been a few hundred years
since I made this.

[whirring]

'So we'll have to consult'

the really, really, really
big book of recipes.

Excitement!

A little lower,
please, Shnitzel.

Too low.

Okay.

It looks like we're going to
need the following ingredients.

- Got it?
- Uh..

[all]
'Step one.'

[sputtering]

This little marvel
is called a "no fruit."

Go ahead, taste it.

zip

[munching]

It doesn't have any flavor.

Exactly.

Now, watch what happens
when I do this.

[clicking]

♪ La la la-la-la-la
la la la la ♪

It's an apple.

[munching]

Mmm!

It's super apple-y!

That is the power
of the no fruit.

Wow.

[Mung Daal]
'Okay, now, remember'

a good chef always whacks them
at just the right time.

Ready?

thud

- Sorry.
- Ready? Go!

swish swish swish

thud

Oh, no, I'm a bad chef.

There will be a few flub ups.

Just keep at it.

thud thud

Good, good!

[thudding]

[thudding]

squeak

Uh..

Oh, my golly.

What the heck is this?

[screeches]

[all]
Ahhh!

[hissing]

[muffled screaming]

[thudding]

crash

[muffled screaming]

[upbeat music]

[clattering]

[muffled screaming]

[squeals]

[panting]

[creature screeching]

I think we have enough apples.

- Yep.
- Rada.

[all]
'Step two.'

[sputtering]

Now it's time to
prepare the meat.

What kind?

'A twelve-legged cave frog.'

Oh, boy!

Hold this. We're gonna throw it
in the old chipper chopper.

But not just yet.

A good chef always removes
the expl*sive stink sac first.

Stink sac?

And if the sac..

Well, that's not it.

If the sac went off
in the machine, whammo!

'The whole dish
would be ruined.'

'No, that's not good.'

clank clank clank

Huh!

[upbeat music]

whistle

[hissing]

[Mung Daal]
'Ah, here we go.'

Huh?

Rada ra?

[expl*si*n]

Oh, Shnitzel!

What did you eat, man?

[all]
'Step eight.'

[sputtering]

[grunting]

thud

whistle

Raaaaada!

crash

splash

[all]
'Step 23.'

[sputtering]

[screeching]

[muffled screaming]

[all]
'Step 46.'

[sputters]

thud thud thud

thud

[all]
'Step 52.'

[sputters]

[slurping]

[all]
'Step 68.'

I want to go home.

There's just one thing left.

Before a chef can serve

a froggy apple
crumple thumpkin..

[rattling]

...you have to beat it
at thumb wrestling.

[gasps]

Hello, yes, I'm here
to pick up my order.

Let me see if it's ready
for you, darling.

Are you done in there yet,
honey?

[crashing]

Putting on
the finishing touches.

It'll just be another minute.

[grunting]

[upbeat music]

[panting]

I don't want to have to get
crazy on you, but I will.

I will get..

thud

...crazy.

thud thud

thud thud thud

Rada rada rada.

Oh, hey,
Shnitzel, come on in.

We're almost done.

Alright, Chowder,
are you ready?

Say what?

[Mung Daal]
Tag, you're it.

pop pop

Ahhhh!

No, don't run away.

[Chowder screams]

I weakened it for you.

I don't want to make
the recipe anymore.

Just remember,
before serving a dish

a chef must always..

Taste it.

[screeching]

pop

[sucking]

[chomping]

See. You beat it!

[slurping]

chomp

[Mung Daal]
No, Chowder, don't eat it.

'Get away.'

'No, these are
for the customer.'

[squelching]

'Hurry!
Run for it!'

I can only hold him off
for so long.

'Book it, man.'

Your life depends on it.

And, please, come again soon.

That went well.

- Oh, yes.
- Rada.

[door shuts]

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

Gazpacho, my man,
what's new?

I did a sit-up this morning.

Congratulations.

Maybe tomorrow,
you try for two?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

No need to get crazy.

I got something in I thought
you...might like.

'Grabbles.'

Grabbles?

Oh! Ah!

[laughing]

Oh, no, what's happening?

This is completely normal.

Grabbles don't let go
until they're..

Ahh! Ripe.

[thudding]

Great gobs of gravy

something's blocked out
the sun!

I'm scared, I'm scared.

Playing with our food again,
Mr. Daal?

Endive.

Panini, take note
of the man before you.

[slurping]

[instrumental music]

Note taken.

[snaps]

If one does not want to
roll in the dirt like a pig

one must always
carry a grapple stick.

A grapple stick?

There's no love!

They'll taste terrible.

- They'll taste the same.
- They won't.

Of course, they will.

Woman, I swear, they won't.

- 'They will.'
- They won't.

- 'They will!'
- 'They won't.'

Hi, Chowder.

Um, hi.

[whimsical music]

Why are you staring at me?

Because..

Because why? I-is there
something on my face?

When we were shopping today

we picked up some
powdered flarts.

You want one?

What's it taste like?

- Taste it and find out.
- Is it salty?

Well, taste it and find out.

- Is it spicy?
- Taste it!

[munching]

[munching]
I love flarts.

They're famous for romance.

[coughing]

Romance is a little dry.

Have a sip of my juice.

[slurping]

Oh, h*, h*.

Oh, h*, h*.

[laughing]

Are you okay?

Not as okay as you.

How long have you two lovebirds
been going steady?

I'm Chowder's girlfriend
and Chowder's my boyfriend.

And we're totally going to be
together forever and ever.

And now we're holding hands.

[sputtering]

[sputtering]

[squeaking]

[sputtering]

[sputtering]

What am I gonna do?

I don't want to be a boyfriend.

Boyfriends have to do all kinds
of weird stuff

like hold hands
and write poetry and hold hands

and hold hands
and be together forever.

Forever's a long time!

[sputters]

Okay, g*ng, looks like
we got a big order

for balloon animal cookies.

'You ready, Chowder?'

Good, good.

Keep it coming.

That's it, that's it.

And, voilà, we have a horse.

Stop, Chowder.

Chowder!

[muffled chatter]

pop

Shnitzel, the mop.

Rada rada.

So, Chowder, you seem
a bit distracted today.

You know a lot about
women, right?

Is a frozen florbinplam purple?

Yes. Yes, I do.

So, what do you need to know?

Well, let's say
there's this girl

that wants you
to be her...boyfriend.

She wants me to be
her boyfriend?

Go on, out with it.

Who is she?
Is she cute?

I bet she's cute.

No, she's icky.

Icky, huh?

Well, it's lucky
that I'm a married man.

But what if you
weren't married?

If I wasn't married?

[laughs]

clang

Love you, baby.

If I wasn't married

I'd let the icky girl know
that I wasn't interested.

But I'd be a man
and let her down gently.

Let her down gently, huh?

Yep. It ain't easy
being a heartbreaker.

Rada rada.

Now, Panini, to properly
unleash your flarts..

Uh-huh.

...you must grind them
at a perfect 45-degree angle.

- Uh-huh.
- Not 44 degree.

- Not 46 degree.
- 'Uh-huh.'

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

[Endive]
'Panini, dear,
are you even listening?'

Well, there's
this dreamy boy.

Stay away from boys!

They are dirty.
They're smelly.

They tell you they love you

so you wait by the telephone

until they finally
work up the nerve

to propose

and then,
they have the gall

to not show up to the wedding!

[shatters]

Got to let her down gently.

Got to let her down gently.

Oh, hi, Chowder.

I'm not your boyfriend!

Hey, are those cookies?

I made them for you.

[munching]

- Thanks.
- No problem.

It's what girlfriends do.

[munching]

Girlfriends?

Oh, man.

[bell rings]

Oh, hi, Chowder.

A present for me?

[screeches]

Pretty gross, huh?

Bet you don't want me to be
your boyfriend anymore.

Oh, my gosh, Chowder,
you are so thoughtful.

Love it.

Now Miss Muffet has a boyfriend
of her own.

[screeches]

Oh, man!

I'm not your boyfriend!

[bell rings]

Hello again, Chowder.

Um, hello, Panini.

I have a message for you
from Chowder, who I am not.

Uh-huh.

Yes, Chowder has
moved far away

and cannot be your boyfriend.

Where did he move to?

Um, down the street
to the next city.

Yes?

He's dead. Chowder is dead.

Want a cookie, Chowder?

Would I?

Oh, man.

[bell rings]

Yes, Chowder?

Oh, hi, Panini.

Rada rada.

There's something
I've been trying to tell you.

Take it away, boys.

[up-tempo music]

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

[screaming]

Oh, my gosh

that's the sweetest thing
anyone has ever done for me.

You are the best boyfriend
in the whole world.

[kisses]

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I am not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

Alright, that's enough.

[thumping]

- Hey, what's up?
- Nothing.

Okay.

You know, Chowder, I usually

only soak in that barrel
when I'm depressed.

Are you depressed?

[Chowder]
'A girl kissed me,
and I'm trying to wash it off.'

Chowder, I have a lot of
experience dealing with girls.

Well, just one,
and though it is mother

she is technically a girl.

And mother's always told me

that if a girl kisses you

'you have to make
an honest woman out of her.'

Is the girl a liar?

No, it means you have to
marry her.

I have to marry her?

Chowder, a girl kissed you.

Kissed you!

I know.
It was gross.

If word gets out

that this girl kissed you
and you didn't marry her

'her reputation
will be ruined forever.'

And that's why mother doesn't
let me kiss other girls.

[Mung Daal]
'No, you get used
to the taste pretty quickly.'

It's the smell
that drives you crazy.

Oh, hi, Chowder.

Um, we have a special order.

Oh, it's a wedding cake.

Okay, everyone, this is
going to be a very meticulous

time-consuming..

And it's done.

- Okay, I'll deliver it.
- Ooh!

Oh, my, the grabbles.

They're finally ripe.

sploosh sploosh

Oh, no, the cake!

Where are you going?

To deliver the cake, of course

so I can get married
and save Panini's reputation.

Rada rada?

No, grabbles.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

[doorbell rings]

Okay, I brought cake.

We can get married.

What are you talking about,
dude?

Married..

Saving your repu-tation.

Oh, how do I say this?

You're getting way to clingy.

You come around
like every five seconds.

- See this?
- Uh-huh.

This is my space.

- I need my space.
- Uh-huh.

But we can still be friends,
okay, dude?

[door shuts]

splash

[slurping]

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

♪ I'm not your boyfriend ♪

Now the only thing
left to do is

to decorate our boo-bear pie.

What does the customer
want it to say?

Ah, yes, "For my
little princess." Right.

If it's for a princess,
it should have a tiara.

- And a pretty dress.
- And a white horse.

And a handsome prince.

- Where?
- Me.

- You?
- Of course.

What beautiful princess
wouldn't want

a handsome man
like myself at her side?

You're handsome?

Go to bed, Chowder.

But it's 3:00 in the afternoon.

Go to bed! You don't know
what you're missing..

If you aren't in the kitchen.