05x21 - La Cage Aux Fools

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives down stairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there
just to take good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪♪

Oh, look.
A doorstop.

Lembeck, what are you doing?

I'm letting all the oxygen
rush to my brain, Mr. Powell.

That way,
it'll sharpen my reflexes,

and I'm less likely
to have an accident.

Oh, fine.

Oh!

Buddy!

Oh, good, Buddy.
You're off your head.

No, no, no, no, Charles.

He's out of his head,
he's off his rocker!

It's okay, Sarah. I'm not hurt.

Well, you should be.
You should both be hurt.

I just heard
that they're experimenting

on animals at Copeland College!

What are you talking about,
Sarah, there are no animals
at Copeland.

Obviously, you've never
been out with Shirley DeMarco.

Sarah, come on,
I go to Copeland College.

If they were experimenting
on animals there,
I'd know about, right?

No!
You're an education major.

I'm gonna check this out,
and if I'm right,

I'll stage a demonstration
that'll tear your school
in half!

Right.

I'll even lock myself
in an animal cage if I have to!

You wont have to, Sarah.

Charles will go down
and check it out.

If he's wrong,
he'll lock himself in a cage.

No, he wont.

Why not?

Are you afraid
you'll find you are wrong?

No, I'm right!

Then, put your money
where your mouth is.

Fine!

All right, okay, if I'm wrong,

I'll lock myself
in a cage, okay?

- It's a deal.
- All right.

What's the matter with you?

Relax, Charles.
If you're wrong,

all you have to do
is get Sarah's mind

- on something else.
- What!

You're talking about Sarah!

Once she sinks her teeth
into a worthy cause,

she does not let go of it!

Hey, wait a minute,
they're, they're running

The Rocky Horror Picture Show
this weekend,

one performance only.

Take Sarah, and she'll forget
all about the animals!

If I take Sarah,
I have to take Jamie and Adam.

That means I need four tickets.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show
has been sold out
for three months.

Thats's only because

people bought up all the
tickets.

Well, if everybody else
can get tickets, so can I.

Fine, you got get tickets to

The Rocky Horror Picture Show,

and I'll go look for animals
down at Copeland College, okay?

Well, okay, but, the animals
are gonna have to get

their own tickets.
I'm not a magician, you know.

Yes, you are, Buddy.

Look, you just made me
disappear.

[knocking]

Come in.

Hi, could I ask you a...

Hey, Mr. Willard.
You-you're Stanley Willard.

It's Professor Willard,
Charles.

I'm the new head
of the science department.

You are?

Yes, I am.

Well, forgive me, Professor,

but uh, last time I saw you,

you were, uh,

you were in a
psychiatric hospital.

Huh-huh, that's terribly funny.

I only went there to rest,
Charles.

I had been under
a lot of pressure.

I was tired,
I was overworked.

I understand.

Plus, I had been getting
a lot of very bad advice

from my c*ck spaniel.

Uh, speaking of animals,
Professor,

uh, I heard this ugly rumor,
that they're experimenting

on animals here at
Copeland College.

Now, of course I didn't believe
it for a minute.

Good.
Now, go away.

Then, it's not true?

I didn't say that, Charles,
I said, go away.

Then it is true.

[Professor sighs]

Charles, it's just
a few monkeys.
Monkeys, Charles,

and don't blame me.
I didn't want to use animals

for laboratory experiments.
I wanted to use students.

Hey, Charles!

Mr. Willard?

It's Professor Willard,
Lembeck.

Charles, what I just told you
was extremely...

confidential.

Professor, if you're
experimenting on monkeys

at this college, the students
are sure to find out about it.

Not if you don't tell them,
Charles!

I can't tolerate any pressure,
I'm a very excitable person.

Something as traumatic
as a student protest

could throw me
in to a complete frenzy.

Never fear, Professor Willard,

I have four tickets to

The Rocky Horror
Picture Show!

Are you trying to confuse me,
Lembeck?

No, no, see if Charles takes
Sarah to that movie,

then Sarah will get her teeth
out of her cause,

and Charles won't end up
in a cage.

And they said
I needed therapy.

Charles, get him out of here,
and take you with him.

Why, why do you talk to people?

Nobody else will listen to me.

Oh, I thought I heard Charles.

He's getting some very
important information for me.

Hi, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Beautiful day, huh?

Charles, did you find out
about the animals?

Yes I did, I also found out
something that you would love.

I just found out,
that I can get tickets to

The Rocky Horror
Picture Show.

You're kidding, I've been dying
to see that movie!

Really, well,
all three of you are gonna see,

you know why, because
yours truly is gonna take you

to see it, tonight,
at a midnight show.

Great, finally something
exciting to do!

I'm gonna go call
Kevin Holloway,

and rub his nose in it.

That's my boy.

That's nice, Charles,

but what did you find out
about the animals?

You know,
some of my friends saw

The Rocky Horror
Picture Show
last year, they loved it.

But, do you think Grampa would
let us go to a midnight movie?

Only if it's in the afternoon.

Oh, but see, Grampa,
this is a really special movie.

See, the audience
gets to wear costumes.

I'll be with them
every minute, sir.

Well, if you're willing
to take them.

- All right, all right.
- Thank you, Grampa!

Charles, do they or don't they

experiment on animals
at Copeland?

Uh, actually, uh, yes they do.

Don't look at me that way,
Sarah.

It's just a couple of monkeys.

Monkeys!

- Hi-ya, Sarah.
- Hey, Mom.

I have to take your
measurements.

You better measure him
for a cage, Aunt Lillian.

I don't knit cages,
just sweaters.

Ma, she's kidding.

Oh, really.

Well, I'm not kidding.

Charles promised
to make everyone aware

of the animal experiments that
are going on at his school.

They're experimenting
on animals at Copeland College?

That's terrible!

Ma, there's nothing
I could do about it.

Professor Willard warned me

against putting any pressure
on him.

What about the pressure
on the monkeys?

Charles, you promised
to lock yourself in a cage,

and you've got to do it where
other students will see you.

Well, there's a lot of kids
at the diner on Friday night.

That's a wonderful idea,
Charles.

You can do it
at the diner tonight!

No, I can't do it at the diner
tonight, Sarah, you know...

Mom...
You know why I can't do it?

Because I'm taking you,
and your brother, and sister

to a midnight show tonight!

Wait a minute, Charles,
you can do both.

The diner's open
till 11 o'clock.

You go get your cage,
you bring it over at 8 o'clock,

you have three hours
to protest.

Three hours will be perfect!

I'll go call the newspaper
and the TV station.

Wait!

Thanks, Mom.
Thanks a lot.

You're welcome, Doodlebug.

I hope you like it.
It's going to be yellow.

Hey, Charles, did you tell
Sarah about the tickets?

Yes, I told her.

I also told her
about the monkeys.

Now I gotta lock myself
in a cage in the diner tonight!

Hey, that sounds like fun.
Shall we use my cage?

Do you have a cage?

No.

Well, you should.

Maybe there's one waiting
for you in the science lab.

I'll go find out!

I just hope they don't stick
him in with the monkeys.

Monkeys are so sensitive.

You know, I still can't believe
that the science lab

let you borrow this cage.

Yeah, they probably
wont believe it either,

especially when they find out.

Charles, where's the press?

I mean, if I don't get
some publicity out of this,

this will be the last time
I do anything

out of the goodness
of my heart.

Charles,
are you trying to destroy me?

I told you,
I can't take any pressure.

Now, all of a sudden,
the newspapers and the TV people

are hounding me.

I hate the newspapers.

I hate the TV people.

I hate being hounded.

I hate you.

I'm Christine Coolidge,
Channel Three News.
Who are you?

Nobody,
I'm not even here.

Um.
We're here, we're here!

Well, I can see that,
that's why I'm here.

I'm Christine Coolidge
at the Yesterday Cafe,

where two students
have locked themselves

in a cage to draw attention
to the plight
of research animals

at Copeland College.

That's a wrap, Kyle.

What, what, what!
That's a wrap!

Hey, we've been in here
for three hours!
Is that it?

Well, I'm sorry boys.
It's a heavy news day.

Well, you could at least
get a good picture of us,
or something!

Uh, all right, take a picture.

Wait, I wasn't ready for that.

Me neither.

Lembeck, you look very natural
behind bars.

We're gonna go home
and watch you on the news.

Yeah,
while we're getting ready for

The Rocky Horror
Picture Show.

Are you sure you'll be there
on time, Charles?

I'll be there.

Well you better be, you know,
I worked very hard

supervising Sarah
while she made our costumes.

Come on.

You're a riot, Jamie.
You're a regular riot.

Oww!

Buddy will you stop swinging,
please!

- Charles.
- Wait, Ma.

Buddy, Please.
Thank you, I'm sorry, what?

Sweetheart, look, I'd like to
stay to the bitter end,

but I'm late for my poker game.

You sure you're okay without me?

Yeah, I'm fine Ma, I'm fine.
I'll lock up when I leave.

I'll be here
another 20 minutes, okay.

Okay, okay, listen,
you better unlock this cage,
in case of a fire.

All right,
have a good poker game.

- All right.
- Bye, Aunt Lillian.
- Bye.

Okay, Buddy, you heard her,
unlock the cage.

With what?
You have the key.

Why, why would I have the key?

It's your lock.

I provided the lock,

the least you could do
is provide the key.

When you buy a lock,

a key is supposed to
come with it.

Not if the lock is on sale.

Buddy, a lock without a key...

is worthless.

It's worth more than a key
without a lock.

Not to us.
We'd much rather have a key.

Well then,
you should have bought one.

I can't do everything,
Charles.

Wrong, Buddy.

You can't do anything!

Unclench, Charles!

- I will break the lock.
- Right!

I can't believe this.
This is great, great, great!

We're trapped, thank you!

No, we're not, Charles.

We'll grab the end of the cage,

we'll push it over
towards the door,

we'll open the door,
and then we'll yell for help,
okay?

All right, fine,
let's give it a try.

All right.

It's not moving, Buddy.

Ugh, it's not gonna budge.

Listen, I can't believe this.

I'm supposed
to take the kids to

The Rocky Horror
Picture Show

and if I don't,
they'll never forgive me.

You're too emotional, Charles.
Settle down, boy!

We'll find a way out!

No, we wont, Buddy.
We're trapped in here
for the night!

Well...

I guess
there's no other solution.

I-I didn't want
to have to do this,

but I suppose it's...

absolutely necessary.

Do what?

[yelling]
Help!

[both]
Help!

You're in a cage
with a dead man, Buddy.

If I don't take the kids
to see that movie,
they'll never trust me again.

You know something, Charles?

I think the animals
that lived in this cage

before us had fleas.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

This cage came from the lab.
It's sterile.

- Can, can you get that for me,
Buddy?
- Yeah.

Oh...

Mr. Willard,
this is perfect, listen...

Listen, I'm glad you're here.
We're locked in!

I know you are, Charles,
and you're going to pay for it.

No, no, you don't understand.

We want to get out,
we want to get out.

Look, will you help us?

Why?

So you can spend the rest of
your life protesting,

and I can spend the rest
of my life in this trench coat?

No, no, Professor,
my protesting days are over!

Come on, look, all we need,
all we need is a locksmith.

Okay, here's a quarter,
there's a phone
right over there.

Will you call somebody, please?

[chanting]
Stanley, Stanley, Stanley...

I think you got to him,
Charles.

He's calling a locksmith.

Yeah,
he's not a bad guy after all.

Ray, Professor Willard here.

Listen, bring three
large friends and a van over

to the Yesterday Cafe.

I have something for you
to pick up.

A stolen cage
and two prisoners.

[laughing]

Jamie, If Charles said he'd go
to the movie, he will.

Oh, I don't doubt that, Sarah,
I'm just beginning to wonder

if he's planning on taking us
with him.

Where's Charles?

He isn't here yet.

Oh, no!

Okay, this is all the rice
we have.

I thought you were going
to a movie, not a wedding.

Oh, see, there's a wedding
in the movie, Grampa.

It's an audience participation
film,

that's why we're all dressed
this way.

The audience says everything
the actors do.

Okay, I better take
one more picture.

Hey, hey, where are those
happy smiles?

We'll smile when Charles
gets here, if he gets here.

I better give him a call.

At least Charles
is doing something worthwhile.

No, Sarah, taking us
to a movie is worthwhile.

Standing around in a cage is
something a monkey could do.

That's strange,
there's no answer.

I'd better drive down to that
diner and see what's going on.

But, don't worry,
if I don't find Charles,

I'll take you to the movie
myself.

Oh, Grampa, you wouldn't
get in, it's all sold out.

Good, I hate movies.

Help, help, help us!
We've been kidnapped!

Just ignore them,

they stole this cage
as a fraternity prank.

Yeah,
what fraternity are they in?

Uh, the one you guys hate.

- Omega Chis?
- Exactly.

- Hey, hey, get outta here,
we're not Omegas!
- I belong to a sorority!

Hey, hey, Professor,
you cannot keep us in here.

This is insane.

Charles, I was released
from a psychiatric hospital.

I have papers that prove
that I'm sane.

Can you say that?

He's got us there, Charles.

Wrong, I've got you here.

Night-night, sleep tight.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Professor Willard,

would you mind
if I went to the bathroom?

Not at all,
go right ahead.

Don't even think about it,
Buddy.

Well, Charles wasn't
at the diner.

Huh, he must've forgotten
all about the movie.

Well, at least Charles
did what he said
he was going to do.

No, Sarah, he said
he was going to take us to

The Rocky Horror
Picture Show.

Well, it's too late now.

You might as well
get ready for bed.

You people are thinking
only of yourselves.

Isn't anybody worried
about Charles?

We all are, Sarah.

He's got the tickets!

Charles, Charles, it's morning!

We've been in here all night.

I'm going stir crazy, man!

I need food, water...
I need my freedom!

No, I know, Buddy, so do I.

No living thing
should ever be put in a cage.

For the first time in my life,

I know what those little
monkeys must feel like.

Good morning, gentlemen.
Sleep well?

[both laughing]

Look, Professor...

Come on, now,
this has gone far enough.

How long do you think you can
keep us in here?

Mmm...

With proper care and feeding,
I'd say roughly 17 years.

Excuse me, Professor Willard,

I'm Christine Coolidge,
Channel Three News.

This animal experiment thing

has become the issue
of the day.

We came here
to get a statement from you,

but we certainly did not expect
to find these boys

still locked in a cage.

Yeah, neither did we.

Uh, well,
they are still in a cage,

but they're
just about to get out
In fact,

you're here just in time
for the grand unlocking.

I'll just get
my master key and...

Thank you, gentlemen,
you've done a wonderful job.

Thank you very much,
have a nice day.

We're not going anywhere.

We're not?

No.
Get behind me for once,
will you, please?!

All right, Professor Willard,

experimenting on innocent
animals is cruel and barbaric.

You know, it's not enough that
people know about it.

I mean, we have to do something
to stop it,

and I'm willing to stay
in this cage until we do!

Charles,
do you know what you are?

You are a...

...very dedicated young man.

So am I.

And how long are you willing
to stay in the cage, mister...?

Lembeck!

- Lembeck, Buddence Lembeck.
- Wow!

And I'm prepared to stay
in this cage

for 17 years if I have to,
even if it takes all week!

You can edit that out, right?

- Yes.
- Good, thank you.

Well, you two must've had
quite a night.

Ugh, here's your morning paper,
sir.

- Thank you.
- Good morning, Grampa.

Oh, look, Jamie, I know
you're upset about last night,

but I can explain everything.

Oh, look who decided
to come home.

I have not slept
in 48 hours, okay.

Cut me some slack.
I'm tired, I'm hungry,
and I'm in pain!

Charles, what happened?

I was locked in that cage
all night, Sarah.

You were?
Oh, that's wonderful.

You kids are not going to
believe whose picture

is on the front page of today's
newspaper... look, look.

It's Charles and Buddy!

- Hey, it's me and you.
- It's us.

Two Copeland College students
locked themselves in a cage

in the science building,

forcing the administration
to re-evaluate its position.

Professor Stanley Willard said,
"There will be no more

animal experiments
at Copeland College."

- Oh, thank you, Charles!
- May I see that.

Oh, I guess you guys aren't mad
at Charles, after all.

Well, I am.
He broke his promise.

Yeah, and he probably
never even bought the tickets.

Excuse me, I bough the tickets.
It cost me 80 bucks.

Can I have the tickets please,
Buddy?

Yeah, sure, Charles,
here they are.

Rocky Horror
Picture Show...


one performance only,
Saturday night at midnight.

Now, you see that..

Saturday night?

Buddy, today is Saturday.
You said the show
was Friday night!

No I didn't.
I just said it was this weekend.

Great, that means you can take
us tonight, Charles!

Tonight?

You expect me to take you
to a show tonight,

after what I've been through?

Charles,

you're not planning to
disappoint my grandchildren

two nights in a row, are you?

- No, sir.
- I didn't think so.

Come on kids.
It's time for breakfast.

Thanks again, Charles.

Uh-huh.

You know, Buddy...

Feels good to make a
difference, doesn't it?

Yeah, it sure does.

And, it's a good thing
we're so well adjusted.

I mean, this experience

could seriously have affected
a lesser person.

Right.

You know, it's funny...

I never used to like bananas.

Charles, Charles, wake up.

Ooh ooh, ooh.

Come on, we gotta go!
Come on.

Oh, hi, Sarah.
Is it midnight already?

No, it's still afternoon.

Come on,
we don't have much time.

- Where are we going?
- I'll tell you
when we get there.

- Here are you handcuffs.
- Okay.

Charles, come on!
We've got to go!

Hi, Sarah.
Is it midnight already?

No, come on, we've got to go to
the Coswell Chemical Company.

They make the pesticides
that k*ll

harmless little insects
and poison millions of people.

Okay.

We're going to protest
by handcuffing ourselves
to their front door.

[Sarah screams]

Come here!

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪