04x17 - Room at the Bottom

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ he's there
just to take good care ♪

♪ of me-e-e ♪

♪ like he's
one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me-e-e ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of me ♪♪

♪ ♪

[hammering sounds]

But Charles,
I'm telling you, it's true!

I saw a man
run over himself!

I'm sorry to hear that, Buddy.
Excuse me.

[electric saw buzzing]
Oh, it sounds like

the carpenters are still here,
huh?

Uh, yeah... Lembeck,
what did you just say?

I saw a man
run over himself.

Charles, I know what I want
in our new rec room!

The "Super Galactic
Doomsday Machine."

Ah, that game is gigantic.

It won't even fit
in the new rec room.

What do you mean
you just saw a man
run over himself?

That's impossible.

But it happened, Mr. Powell!

A man came up to me
and asked me

if I would run over
to the mini-mart

and pick him up
a six-pack.

I said no,
so he ran over himself.

[obnoxious laughter]

And you went for it!
What a maroon!

Um, but seriously, Grampa,

if I can't have
one giant electronic game,

how about ten small ones?

Adam, our new recreation room
should only have things

the whole family can enjoy...

Like a harp,
a grand piano,

and the collected works
of Emily Dickinson.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Jamie.

Kids, I'd like
to make something clear.

We're just remodeling
our little basement.

We're not building
a space center.

Don't worry, Grampa.
Whatever will be, will be.

Jamie, I just saw a man
hit himself with a car.

Things happen, Adam.
It's fate.

I don't believe in fate.

Well, I didn't either, until my
Comparative Religions course

turned me on
to predestination.

See, now I realize that fate
is the reason for everything.

It is even the reason

the basement
is being remodeled.

No, no.
Your grandfather is the reason

the basement
is being remodeled.

Yes, but fate
is directing him.

Think about it!

Poor Sarah has had to
share a room with me

her entire life.

Suddenly, fate stepped in.

There's gonna be
a new room downstairs.

You mean...
it could be my room?

No, it will be my room.

Jamie, we all agreed.

The basement is gonna double
as a rec room for the family,

and as an office
for your mother.

Besides, if you two
had separate bedrooms,

you'd really
begin to miss each other.

Think about that.

C'mon, I'll help you pack.

Yo, Captain!
[Walter laughs]

Anthony!
Hey, Charles!

Look who's here.
It's your little cousin.

Anthony... Aren't you
supposed to be working

down at the pizza parlor
after school?

Your mom gave me
the day off.

Oh, just like the time
you told your mom

that school
was canceled because of
Hugh Hefner's birthday?

Well, you just plan on
staying here for dinner.

Charles, turn that off
when it boils.

- I'm going to go
check on those workmen.
- Okay.

Anthony, I need to talk to you
privately.

- Later, Chuck.
- Anthony, Anthony...

Come here, slow down.
Listen...

How many times
have I told you,

I hate being called "Chuck,"
all right?

Now, if Adam has a problem,
he can talk to me.

What's the matter with me?

[chuckling]
Anthony, come on.

Who do you think
you're dealing with, huh?

I know you.

Remember that time
we had that talk

about you
selling Cub Scout cookies?

That was a nice talk.

What was it about?

Cub Scouts
don't sell cookies.

Well, they should.
I made a fortune
off those things.

Later, Chuck.

[imitating high voice]
Later, Chuck.

Hey, don't call him "Chuck."
He hates that.

Buddy, you frighten me.

Okay...

Boo!

- I mean, really.
- All right...

Aaah!

Relax, Adam.

I've solved your problem.

Your book report
is due tomorrow,

and you'll turn it in tomorrow.

No, I told you on the phone!

I can't write a book report
on a book I haven't read yet,

and I can't read
Oliver Twist in one night.

Hold it.

What you need
is expert advice here, Adam.

Better yet...

Why not just see the movie?

Or, you could see the movie.

"Oliver?"

I-i-is this the same
as the book?

Oh, it's better
than the book.

You don't have to read.

Ha ha, that's brilliant!
Thanks.

Eh, you're welcome, Adam.

You can come to me
with anything.

- Adam...
- Nothing!

Ah, uh...

Anthony just loaned me
a movie.

A clean one, "Oliver."

I'm gonna go, uh,
watch it now.

"Oliver" is a musical.

Adam hates musicals.

Then, let's not tell him
it's a musical.

Okay.

See you later, Charles.

Anthony... my boy.

I don't know
what you're up to,

but I am
gonna find out.

Oh, Charles, good,
there you are.

Anthony!

Oh...

Sweetheart...

Oh...

Where you been?
Why aren't you at work?

Adam needed my help,
Auntie Lillian.

I was just leaving.

Later, Chuck.

Cute.

Mom, Anthony Swensen
hasn't changed a bit.

He's been taking you in
ever since you took him in.

- Charles, he's an orphan.
- Oh, please.

Honey, he's been passed
from relative to relative

his whole life.
He's family, be patient.

Mom, he doesn't
act like family.

Ah, come on,
he doesn't even look
like family.

He looks like his father.

Oh, that's right.
I forgot...

Aunt Rosemary
was attacked by Vikings.

No, Charles, your late
Aunt Rosemary

married a Viking...
a Scandinavian.

Ten years ago, he went out
for a can of sardines

and never came back.

He never even got to know
little Anthony.

Ah, that's probably why
he's known as Olaf the Lucky.

- Charles...
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, Lillian, what's up?

Oh, hi, Walter.
Oh, I'm about to go to Miami

for the, uh,
restaurant owners convention.

- Oh!
- Yeah, I'll be gone a week.

I have to leave
little Anthony alone.

I was, uh, wishing someone
could stay with him

in the evenings...

Anyone have any ideas?

- Charles could do it.
- Uh...

No, Jamie.
I-I really couldn't.

I'm needed here

No, Grampa, couldn't we
spare Charles for one week?

I mean,
he could still work here

in the daytime, and just
stay at his mom's at night.

I suppose he could,
if it's only for a week.

Go ahead, Charles.
Your mother needs you.

Oh, thank you.
Come on, Charles.

I'll show you
where I hid the key.

- Bye, everyone.
I'll see you next week.
- Bye.

Bye-bye, Lillian.
Have a good trip.

Sarah, fate stepped in again.

Charles is gonna be staying
at his mother's apartment.

That means
I can have his room.

Jamie, it's only
for a week.

I know, but then you'll see
how much better off we'd all be

if I had my own room,

and you'll want me to move
into the basement.

- Please, Grampa?
- All right.

You can stay in Charles' room
while he's gone,

but that's all I'm promising.

Sarah, we are gonna have
our own rooms.

Jamie, you heard
what Grandpa said.

It's only until
Charles moves back in.

No, Sarah.

See, fate told us to build
the new room downstairs,

and fate told Charles to stay
at his mother's apartment.

Now, Grampa might be able
to resist me,

but he can't resist fate.

♪ ♪

Jamie, it's almost midnight!

You were the one who wanted
to sleep in Charles' room.

Now that he's gone,
why aren't you sleeping in it?

Well, I was just about
to go to bed.

- Good night, Grampa.
- Good night.

[doorknob rattling]

Grampa, I'm telling you!

Somebody's trying
to pick the lock!

Do something!
Call lots of police!

Stand back.

You see?
There's nobody there.

Now, will you go to bed?

[Sarah gasps, yells]
Grampa!

[Sarah]
Grampa!

[Walter]
I hate nights like this.

You've got to believe me!

Somebody is in my bathroom.

Mm.

Have another one, Charles.

Thank you,
don't mind if I do.

There's nobody there.

Now, will you please
go to bed?!

[Sarah shrieks]
[Charles screams]

Mr. Powell,
someone's in my room!

Grampa, there's someone...!

Charles!
It was you!

You're not even
supposed to be here.

Why were you in my bed?

You were in bed
with Jamie?!

No, no, no, sir.
She was in bed with me.

I-I-I mean the airport
is fogged in.

Oh, well,
that explains it.

No, sir, you see, my mom
can't leave for Miami

until tomorrow, so I-I figured
I'd come back here...

Why is Jamie in my bed?
Why isn't she in her bed?

Because, Charles,
your bed is now my bed.

Don't you see?

Fate moved you out,
and moved me in.

It's not personal,
it's just fate.

I hate fate.

♪ ♪

Oh, hi, Sarah.

Sarah, this is Jeff.
Jeff, this is my sister, Sarah.

Hi, Jeff.

Jeff goes to Franklin Prep.
I met him at a dance last week.

So, where is everyone?

Mom's at work.

Grandpa had
an emergency meeting
at his club,

and Charles
is at his mom's apartment.

Good.

Oh, Grampa told me
to call Charles

and have him
come right over.

For what?

To stay with us.

There aren't any adults
in the house.

Oh, isn't that cute?

My kid sister gets nervous
without a babysitter.

Come on, Jeff, let's go
listen to those tapes.

Jamie, Charles won't allow you
to take a boy into his room.

Sarah, darling,
it's my room, for now.

There's no need
even to call Charles.

Granda told me
to call Charles.

Well, that is because
Grampa still thinks
you're a little girl.

Now, why don't you prove to him
that you're not, okay?

- Hi, Sarah.
- Charles, what are you
doing here?

Uh, Buddy and I
have dates tonight.

I came by
to get some clothes.

- Where is everybody?
- Mom's at work,
and Grandpa's out.

Charles, we have ladies
in waiting, waiting.

Let's move it.

I guess if your grandfather
wanted me here,

he would have called.

All right, I'll go
get my clothes.

Don't!
That's okay, I'll get them.

Well, thank you, Sarah.
I think I can manage.

No, please!
Let me.

This could take all night.
I'll get 'em.

Buddy, no!

Charles, by now,
your clothes are old
and out of date.

Why don't you
just buy new ones?

Buddy, get out of my way.
I'm going in that room.

All right, fine.

[Sarah]
Charles!

- Don't ever let me catch you
around here again!
- This is ridiculous!

- Get out of here!
- What'd I do?

Charles, stop that!

That's the most
humiliating thing

you've ever done to me!

I'm fifteen years old,

and I'll a boy into my room
anytime I want!

Oh, really?
Not as long as I live here,
you won't.

- Charles, you really
embarrassed me!
- Good!

Charle...

Charles, fate is trying
to tell us something here!

And you're not listening,
so I'll spell it out for you.

Fate doesn't want you
living here anymore,

and neither do I!

♪ ♪

Charles, you don't have to
take that from Jamie.

If she doesn't want you
living here,

move into the dorm
with me.

Buddy, Jamie doesn't know
what she wants.

And besides, I tried
living with you once before.

It was a nightmare.

Wait a minute.

I got it.

Get an apartment
of your own.

See, find a swinging place

where the landlady
has a hearing aid

and a police record!

Buddy, I-I can't afford
an apartment.

No... ah, wait.
At least tell Mr. Powell

what Jamie did last night.
I'm sure he'll back you up.

Are you nuts?

I can't tell Mr. Powell
that Jamie had a boy
in her room!

He'll ground her
for the rest of her life.

This is between me and Jamie.

Well, Charles.
Jamie is really mad at you.

You must have caused her
to break a fingernail

last night.
[Charles chuckles]

No, sir.

Well then, you must have said
something derogatory

about Tom Cruise.

Oh, of course not.

Although, have you
seen "c*ck?"

- It's personal.
- Yeah, don't tell me
it's personal, Charles.

I'm not a stranger
around here, you know?

Jamie is my granddaughter,
Charles.

I want to know
what's going on

between you two!

I'd rather not say.

Well, I don't care
what you'd rather do.

Something happened last night,

and I order you
to tell me about it!

I-I can't do that.

You will do that!

Hold it, Wally.

I refuse
to stand idly by

while injustice
sinks its vampire teeth

into the rear end
of reason.

You're the one
who put Charles in charge.

Either get off his case,
or fire him!

That's right!
Charles, you're fired.

You know,
for what it's worth,

I think
you did the right thing.

C'mon in, Michael.

We can study right here
at the dressing table.

Oh, would you be
more comfortable on the bed?

It's okay.

There's nobody home but us.

We can do anything we want.

Ow!

Sarah!

Michael Simmons,
get out of here!

Don't tell him
what to do, Jamie!

He's with me.

Michael Simmons,
get out of here.

Michael...?

I'll call you later.

One day of living alone

and you bring a boy
into your room!

You had a boy in your room
just last night.

That's different.
I'm old enough.

You're not.

Sarah, am I gonna
have to move back in here?

Oh, I get it.

You want to move back!

Right, like I really need that.

Sarah, I am the oldest,

which means I'm in charge
when Charles isn't here.

Now, you're gonna
have to obey me

just like you'd obey him,
okay?

[derisively]
Oh, right,
like I really need that!

Don't ring.

Please, don't ring.

Adam, I'm a busy man.
What do you want?

My teacher, Mrs. Lugatelli...

She found out all about
my fake book report.

I just know
she's gonna call here today.

Tough break.
Got anything to eat in here?

Come on, Charles.

You can find
a million jobs,

but you'll never find
another friend like me.

Promise?

Adam, um...

Look, pal,
I don't want you to panic,

but... I'm leaving.

Okay.
Bye.

I think he took that
quite well.

Uh, I don't think
you understand, Adam.

I'm leaving for good.
I don't work here anymore.

What do you mean?

I want you to work here.
You have to work here.

Charles, you do work here!

[phone rings]
I'll get it.

Back off!
You don't work here anymore!

Powell residence.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Lugatelli.

No, this is Charles.
We met at Adam's open house.

Adam did what?

Uh huh.

No, no, no.
I-I understand, Mrs. Lugatelli.

Yeah, no...
[snaps fingers]

I'll take care of it.

Okay, thank you.
Bye.

Wrong number?

Adam was supposed to
write a book report

on "Oliver Twist."

He said that
he liked the story,

but the dance numbers
were a little too long.

He should used
the fast-forward button.

He shoulda read the book.

You gave him the movie.

Hey, I was just trying
to help him.

Anthony, you're helping him
into a world of trouble.

Now, if that's the world
you want to live in, go ahead.

That's fine.
But I'm not gonna let you
take Adam there.

Now, here's your chance
to be a good kid.

I want you to do me a favor,

and tell Adam what he did
was wrong, all right?

Geez, everybody
needs my help!

Okay, I'll do it...
'cause I'm a people person.

I'll talk to Adam
after work.

Later, Chuck.

Stop "Chuck"-ing me.

Bye, Anthony.

Ah, ooh, good.
Jamie, I want to talk to you.

Charles, I've made
a very important decision.

But first, why is Adam
running and sniveling?

Oh, it's nothing, Mr. Powell.

Adam's in serious trouble
at school, that's all.

You see, Charles?
You quit on me,

and already,
Adam's in trouble!

I didn't quit.
You fired me!

Grampa, you fired Charles?

Hi...
Who's leaving?

Charles.
Grampa fired him.

He can't!
We need Charles.

Okay, Grampa, this puts
a lot of pressure on me.

I mean,
I cannot be responsible

for Adam and Sarah.

She is not trustworthy.

What about you?

What about me?
I'm the one that had to

throw a boy
out of your room!

- What?
- You're confused, Jamie.

Charles had to throw a boy
out of your room.

What?!

That was yesterday.
Today it was Sarah's turn.

You're taking turns?!

- Hi.
- Mom. Hey.

- You're home early.
- I know.

I'm having problems
with the, uh, lease

- at the pizza parlor.
- Oh.

- Who's leaving?
- Oh, it-it's a long story.

Yeah, Charles threw a boy
out of Jamie's room,

Jamie threw a boy
out of Sarah's room,

Adam's in serious trouble
at school,

and Wally, over there,
fired Charles.

I've only been gone
for three days.

May I say something?

What's wrong with the girls
having boys in their room?

They're just kids.

They're just kids,
but they're good kids.

- You don't trust them?
- Well of course, I trust them.

- I don't trust the boys.
- May I say something?!

Maybe you haven't
noticed this,

but these girls
are growing up.

Yeah, Mom,
I have noticed.

That's why they can't have
boys in their rooms!

May... I... say... something?!

Why not?
It's a free country.

Ye- um...

Not in this house,
it isn't!

This isn't
up for a vote.

I've already made my decision.

Charles!

I hired you to take care
of my grandchildren,

and I expect you
to do it!

Now... the girls will continue
sharing a room,

and you'll continue
living here!

Okay?

No, sir.

Not unless it's unanimous.

Oh, sure.
Make me crawl.

Charles, things tend
to fall apart

when you leave.

And I need you.

So, please stay...

Please?

There.
It's settled.

Not so fast, Wally.

- Wally?
- Buddy.

- Charles.
- Lembeck!

First, we have to talk about
a decent pay raise,

more time off,

and a decent pension plan.

Mr. Powell,
I would love to stay.

Good.
Now...

Everybody, into the basement!

Oh, Walter, this is beautiful!
[oohs and aahs]

Mr. Powell, you finally
got your rec room.

Yeah, well, not exactly.

Jamie wants it
to entertain boys,

Sarah wants it
for her private sanctuary,

and Adam wants it
for a penny arcade.

So...

To avoid further dissension,
well...

Well, I've decided to make it
into Charles' new bedroom.

You sentimental nut, you.

I know why
you're doing this.

You're rewarding Charles
because he cares so much

- about the kids.
- Mr. Powell,
that's very nice,

but you don't have to
give up this room.

I'm never sentimental,

and I'm rarely nice.

The fact is, well,
it's got an outside entrance,

and I am sick of you dragging
college girls and lunatics

through my living room.

Now, don't argue.

You'll take this room,
and like it.

- Yes, sir.
- All right.

Charles, you're
the luckiest person

I've ever met.

It's not luck, Jamie.
You were right all along.

It's fate.
Don't fight it.

Wait a minute... What about
Mrs. Powell's office?

She'll take your old room.

And what about
Adam's precious rec room?

I'm sure that Charles
will let us use this

for a rec room
on special occasions.

Of course he will.

- Where is Adam?
- Oh, uh, he's probably hiding.

He has to read a book tonight,

and I'm gonna make sure
that he reads it.

Charles, this'll be
a great bedroom.

It'll be even greater
if it has a bed.

You do have a bed, Charles.

Right here.

Hi!

I've been looking all over
for you guys.

Excuse me.
I gotta go read a book.

♪ ♪