04x11 - Second Banana

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives down stairs
and is understood ♪

♪ He's there
just to take good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our
wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪♪

Charles, Charles!
What?

Why did your mom say
she wanted you here

in such a hurry?
I don't know why.

Why did she say it was urgent?
Get a grip on yourself, man!

Now, don't panic!

Hiya, boys.

Hi
Ahhh!

Aunt Lillian!
What did you do to you arm?

I told you, Buddy.
She tripped on the cord

when she was vacuuming.

Charles!
I've been telling everyone

I broke it skiing
in the Swiss Alps!

Mom, you, you just can't lie
to people like that.

You're right.

From now on, I'll tell them

I broke it vacuuming
in the Swiss Alps

Fine.
Listen!

You're not going to guess
what happened!

This morning,
some people came in here,

and they want to sh**t
a TV commercial
right here in my diner!

Oh, Mom, that's great!

Yeah, and, you know,
the producer's gonna come
in a few minutes

and I want you to make
all the financial arrangements.

Oh, no, Mom, I can't do that.

Charles, I could probably get
five hundred dollars

for letting them use my diner!

And no, I won't
because I can't ask
for that much.

Charles, you know
more about money than I do.

No, but, Mom,
that puts too much pressure
on me!

You know?
I mean, I'm sorry.
I'd like to help you,

but I'm not ready for that kind
of responsibility yet!

Excuse me.
I'm Veronica Radford.

I'll be producing
the commercial we want to do
in your diner.

Hello, I'm Charles.

I'll be working
very closely with you.

And, I'm Buddy.
And, I'll be working
very closely with Charles!

I'm Lillian, and no one will be
working at all without me.

Yes!
This is my mother-slash-owner.

She, uh, she broke her arm
vacuuming in the Swiss Alps,

that's why I'll be handling
the financial details.

Shall we step into my office?

If you need me,
I'll be in my office,

doing the dishes
from your office.

So, uh, what is this
commercial for?

Yeah!
You know,

if it's a beer commercial,
you might want to use me!

I once smashed fifty-seven
beer cans against my forehead

before I passed out!

I could have done even more,
if the cans had been empty.

Thanks for sharing that
with us, Buddy.

Now, you were saying?

Well, the sponsor is
Banana Cream cosmetics.

They're doing a big 1950's
nostalgia campaign.

Oh, wow!
That sounds nice!

Well, you want to go over
the financial arrangements.

Maybe you should take a look
at the script first.

And, uh, if you like,
we can meet later
and we'll talk money.

How about tonight?
Fine. Where?

My place.
What time?

No, wait!
I have a date tonight!

And, I couldn't possibly
join us before nine o'clock.

Oh, then, shall we say,
seven o'clock?

Perfect.

Okay, but if I'm not there
by ten, start without me!

All right, here's my address.

Be there at seven o'clock and,
uh, we can negotiate.

Now with any luck, we'll have
a very productive evening.

Adam, Sarah.

You're supposed to be doing
your homework.

Oh, we'll be right up Grampa.

We just had to help Charles
clean his room, first.

Well, actually, sir, they,
they're doing it for my mother.

You see, uh,
she's rented out her diner

to do a television comercial
and I have to handle the
financial details, you know.

And, the producer's
comin' over, and I have to make
a good impression.

What's her name?

Her?
Did, I say he was a her?

Well, you wouldn't be going
to all this trouble

if her was a him.
So, who is she?

Uh, uh, uh, I believe her name
is, uh, Veronica, sir.

I beg our pardon?
Veronica.

I thought so.
C'mon, kids,

let's get out of here
and leave Charles

to his business meeting,
and his conscience.

Charles?
Yeah?

Don't you think
you should have some snacks
set out?

Good idea, Sarah, Thank you.
Good idea.

Now, let's see...
I got an empty box of Twinkies,

and, uh... ah, one Ding-Dong!

Why don't I get a nice tray
of chips and dip?

Oh, thanks, Sarah.
You're a lifesaver.

Hi!
How do I look?

Oh!
Beautiful!

Jamie, you look stunning,
but, unfortunately,

the woman coming here
is a producer.

She's not a talent scout.

Yes, Charles!
But, she can't produce
commercials without models!

Won't you, please,
just mention my name to her?

Jamie, but, but, Jamie, I'm
conducting business with her!

I can't ask her for any favors.

All right!
Look, I'll see what I can do,

but, I'm not, I don't, I'm not
making any promises!

Okay?
Now, all right.

[ Knocking ]

All right!
She's Here, Go!

Okay!

Veronica!
Hi!

Come on in!

Take your clothes off,
uh, take your coat off!

I mean, or, leave it on.

Uh, would you like a Ding-Dong?

Uh, no, thanks.

Um, did you read the script?

Oh, yes, yes, I did!
I liked it very much!

Well, to tell you the truth,
I'd like anything
that you gave me.

But, we can talk about that
later.

My motto is,
business before pleasure.

Well, normally,
my business is a pleasure,

but, for some reason,
I have had nothing but problems

with this Banana Cream
commercial.

Oh, really?

Pardon me.
Chips and dip.

I'm leaving now.
Excuse me.

Thank you!

Uh, she, uh, lives upstairs.

Charles, look,
I'll get right to the point.

We're prepared to pay
your mother

one thousand dollars
for the use of her diner.

Hmm.

Boy, you know, Veronica,

I, tell you the truth,
I was thinking,

you know, more along the lines
of, uh,

you know,
fifteen hundred dollars.

Thirteen hundred dollars.

Twelve hundred,
and that's as low as I go!

Hi, Oh!
Excuse me.

The laundry room is down here.

You know,
I used to dread doing laundry,

but then I discovered new,
improved, Ultra-Lite
detergent.

Excuse me.

Jamie, I told you
I would do what I could!

You've got to let me do this
thing my way!

Okay.
Did you mention my name, yet?

Yes!
To Freddy Krueger!

If you come down here again,
he'll be waiting for you!

Go on, beat it!

She, uh,
she also lives upstairs.

There's a whole nest of them.

Well, she's very pretty.

Tell me, Charles,
are you busy Thursday night?

Thursday night?

Uh, no, no, why?

Well, I'll have some free time
then, and I was thinking,

maybe we could get together.

That's so funny, you know,
I was thinking the same thing!

You must have read my mind!

Good.

Now, you were saying you
wouldn't let me use the diner

for less than, how much?

A thousand dollars,
and that's as low as I go!

Well, you drive a hard bargain,
Charles.
I know.

But, I'll take it.
Great!

Oh! One more thing.

Uh, one of my teen-age models
backed out on me today.

And, that girl who lives
upstairs has a nice,

fresh Fifties' look.

I don't suppose she's ever done
any modeling, has she?

Jamie?

Are you kidding me!
Modeling is her life!

Oh, wonderful!
She is perfect!

Have her come to rehearsal,

three o'clock tomorrow
afternoon!

I want her to star
in this commercial!

Oh,you gotta be kiddin' me!
I could kiss you for this!

You, uh,
you got any more good news?

I'll try and think of some
for Thursday night.

Uh, thanks for everything,
Charles.

Thank you!

Drive safe, now!

Yes!

Oh, Hey, Jamie!
Guess what?

I got you the job!

You're going to star
in that Banana Cream commercial!

No!
Yes!

Charles, thank you!
Ahh, you're welcome.

How did you do it?

Well, just a little clever
bargaining, you know.

I mean, you can negotiate
for anything

if you have
the right negotiator.

And, you don't have to give
Veronica anything in return?

That is wonderful!

I mean, I thought you might
have to make a date with her,
or something.

Well, I, I did make a date.
But, it's just one date.

You mean you're sacrificing

your moral standards
to help Jamie's career?

Yes.

Charles!
I still can't get over it!

You got me
one thousand dollars!

Well, it wasn't that difficult,
Mom.

Oh, no, not for you.

I'd hate to hear
their initial offer.

I'd hate to tell you.

Yeah, and you got Jamie
a modeling job!

Oh, she must be so excited!

You're a genius!

Yeah, Charles,
you really came through,

for some of your friends.

Buddy, I couldn't ask Veronica
to hire you as a director!

Why not?
Because I'm some sort of a
babbling idiot?

No.
But, that is on the list.

Good!
I'm early!

Why don't you go save us
that booth

and I'll get us some sodas?

Okay.
Jamie, I'm really happy
for you!

Are you nervous?

No, Sarah.
Actresses get nervous.

Models just get intense.

Charles, Buddy.

This is Todd Sterling,
our director.

Oh, really?

Nice to meet you, Todd.

Excuse me!

Lose him.

This is the place, huh?

Can we sh**t in here?

This is going to be a disaster,
right?

Hey, can we knock down
that wall?

Just take that out!

No, Todd!

It's going to be great!

No, it isn't.
My career is over,

I can smell it!
Where's my model?

Oh, uh, Jamie?
She should,

she should be here any minute!

Oh, in fact, she's, she's right
over there, at the counter.

No.
That's not her.

Yeah, yeah!
That's the girl you picked
to star in the commercial.

No, n-no, Charles!
that's not her, not her!

Her!

Wait a minute, wait a minute!
That's Sarah!

Well, whatever her name is,
she's the one
with the Fifties' look,

and she is my star!

I feel tension building!

No, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

I, I already told Jamie
that she has the part!

How are you going to tell her
that she's out

and her sister is in?

I'm not.
You are.

I told Jamie
that she has the part!

Now, if I tell her it's off,
it's gonna break her heart!

Please, we are sh**ting
a comercial here,

not a soap opera.
I need my model!

We have to start
dress rehearsal!

Look, the rehearsal can wait!

Charles, I feel terrible
about Jamie.

You gotta find a way
to let her down gently.

Take your time.

You got five minutes.

Oh, oh, I'm dead.

So, Charles, how's your friend,
the big-time director?

Todd!

Buddy!
I made a terrible mistake.

Listen to me, Veronica

didn't want Jamie
to star in this commercial.

She wanted Sarah!

And, now, I got five minutes
to explain it!

Oh, no!

Charles, why should you have to
do this yourself?

I-I'll tell you what,
I'll share your burden.

Well split it fifty-fifty!
Oh. Thanks, Buddy.

Right down the middle,
all right?
You tell Jamie,

I'll tell Sarah!
Hey!

Um...

Jamie, I'm, uh, I'm glad
you're here, and sitting down.

Charles, I cannot tell you

how much I appreciate
what you've done!

I mean, I wouldn't even be here
if it weren't for you!

I will never forget this!

You can try.

Sit down for a minute.

Uh, look, Jamie,
I'm not going to
beat around the bush, okay?

Do you remember
the presidential election
of 1876?

No.

Yeah, well, you see,
there was this guy
named Samuel Tildan,

and he went to bed thinking
that he had been elected
President of the United States.

And, could you imagine
how he felt when he woke up

the next morning and found out
the whole thing
was a big mistake?

No.

Well, you're about to.

Charles,

are you saying
that I'm not going to be
in this commercial?

Uh, see, Jamie, they, uh,

they hired somebody else.

Who?
Uh, oh, uh, what's-her-name,

um, Sarah.

Now, wait a minute.
Now you see, they,

they wanted Sarah
because she has a really,

kinda fresh Fifties' look,
Jamie!

And, but, you're, you're young,

mature, you know,
uh, a strong woman.

And, you'll bounce back
from this!

Your career is not over!

You're right, Charles.

My life is over!

Jamie!
Buddy told me what happened.

I'm sorry.

Sarah, how could you do this
to me!

Jamie, Sarah didn't know
anything about it!

I told all my friends at school

I was going to be
in this commercial.

I mean, you guys
were supposed to be my friends.

Well, congratulations,
young lady.

You'll have the pleasure
of working with me!

Now, do you mind
going back there
for wardrobe fitting, please?

Charles?
What should I do?

Go, go back for your wardrobe
fitting, Sarah.

Well, okay.

Where are my bananas?

Veronica promised me
I'd have two dancing bananas!

Why does she always
wait until the last minute

to hire produce!?

Wait a minute!
You're in luck!

I once played a carrot
in my grammar school play!

Please, please, please, Buddy,
we have a major problem here.

Charles, this is no problem!

A banana is nothing
but a limp carrot!
Now, watch!

A carrot moves like this!

And a banana moves like this!

Well, congratulations!
You've got yourself a job!

Go to the men's room...
Oh, Oh!

...And, then to wardrobe!

I still need one more banana.

Oh, don't even think about it.

Now, look, Veronica!
I know

that you're going to need
one more model
for this commercial.

Now, there must be a way
for you to fit Jamie in!

Well, I, I guess I could,
I could use Jamie.

But, it's not going to be
a major role.

Oh, that, that's fine!
That, that, she's a trooper!

She'll be thrilled!

Okay, Okay, but,
but you better make sure
she'll do it,

because if she
doesn't want to do it,
you'll have to.

You got a deal!
Well, what will she be playing?

The second banana.

Oh, I knew it, I knew it,
I knew it, I knew it,
I knew it.

Jamie, I got you a part
in the commercial.

Oh, is it true this time?

Do I really get to be
in the commercial?

Yes, if you wanna be.
Now, it's kind of a different
role, but,

you'll be on camera a lot.
Okay, I can live with that.

All right.
The only thing is, uh,

people might not know it's you.

Well, why not?
I mean, I'm on camera,

how are they going to hide me?

In a banana suit.

A banana suit.

It's not enough for you
to embarrass me

in front of my friends, is it?

I mean, now,
you want to embarrass me
in front of the whole world!

Jamie, listen to me,
there's an old saying
in show business,

"There are no small parts,
just small actors".

Oh, great!
Now you're making fun of me

for being short!
No!

Now, that's how Sarah
stole my part, isn't it?

No!
Because, she's tall!

No, no!
She's as unhappy about this
thing as you are!

She can't be!

Charles, look,

I know you think
you can come in here,

say a few magic words,
and everything

will be all right.

But, it's not going to work
this time.

As far as I'm concerned,

you and Sarah
double-crossed me.

Jamie, I don't have
any magic words, okay?

All I know is that every time
I try to help you,

I end up hurting you.

I mean, when it comes to our
relationship,
I'm, I'm a failure.

Keep going.

I guess the biggest mistake
I made was thinking

that you'd be
as happy for Sarah

as she was for you,
when she found out
you had the part.

Well, look,
Jamie, y-you can hate me,

but don't let it come between
you and Sarah.

You know, uh, because
commercials come and go, but,

sisters are forever.

You're right, Charles.

You don't have any magic words.

Okay, five minutes
to dress rehearsal, everybody!

My world is falling apart!

Where are my bananas?

I can't work
without my bananas!

Hi.

Charles, get a life.

Charles,
you never looked better!

Sweetheart, I would love to say
that I am very proud of you.

I would love to say...

All right, that's it I quit!
Veronica,
I can't go through with this.

Charles, it's too late
to back out now!

You promised!
I'm holding you to your word!

Charles!

Charles, I have problem!

My peel doesn't have a zipper!

Buddy, bananas don't come
with zippers!

W-well, then, h-how do they?

Oh, you should have gone
before you put the costume on!

Now, you have to go in there
and take the whole thing off!

Charles?
Yes?

I don't think I can do this!

I'm very nervous!

I'd feel a lot better
if Jamie were here!

Sarah,

you know,
sometimes life isn't fair.

This costume proves that.

You know,
you win some you lose some.

Now, Jamie
would love to be here,

but you have to understand
that it's very painful
for her right now.

But, the show must go on.

Why?
I have no idea.

All right, People!
Listen up!

Now, when Sarah say the words,
"My two best friends"

I would like Charlie Banana
to cross from the counter,

I would like Buddy Banana
to come in from the other side.

Okay, let's just try that.
Okay, cue them, Sarah!

My two best friends!

Jamie!
What are you doing here?

Just proving that you're always
wrong, Charles!

You said I hated you,
and I don't.

And, you said I didn't care
about Sarah, and I do!

And, you also said
that you were a failure,
and you're not.

You just can't
get anything right!

Jamie, I'm glad you're here!
I'm a nervous wreck!

Snap out of it, Sarah!

Look, if I can be a banana,
you can star in a commercial.

But, I thought
you didn't want me to star
in a commercial.

Of course I do!
You're my sister!

Remember, Sarah,

commercials may come and go,
but sisters are forever.

I just hope you're all aware
of the sacrifice I'm making!

Greater love hath no man,

than he give up his banana
for his neighbor!

All right, people!
Let's get going before you rot.

Places everybody!
Dress rehearsal!

And, five, six, seven, eight!

♪♪

Remember the Fifties
when everything looked clean
and fresh?

Tell us, Sarah, how do you keep
that clean, fresh Fifties look?

I work at it.

But, I get a lot of help
from my two best friends!

Banana Cream Skin Lotion and
Banana Cream Shampoo!

♪♪

Listen, now that Jamie's
playing the second banana,

I'm gonna give you
the costume back.

No, Charles, that's your part!
This is your big chance,

and if I took it away from you,

I wouldn't be able to live
with myself!

Now, wait a minute!
Buddy, Buddy!

Charles, you were magnificent
in dress rehearsal!

Oh, thank you.

We, ah, we still on
for tomorrow night?

Uh, no,
I'm having dinner with Buddy.

Lembeck!?
Well...

But, I, I, I thought
we had a date!

I know, but, uh,
things have changed.

As I told Buddy earlier,
I never date my actors.

Buddy?

Buddy, can I talk to you
for a quick second?

Please, just briefly,
come here.

Buddy, come here!
Come here!

Buddy, come here for a second!
I wanna tell you something!

Come here!

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge of our
wrongs and our rights
and I see ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me. ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪