04x15 - To Have and to Hold

[bunniefuu]

I never, ever meant any of that about Gary to be seen.

I was just so angry at the time.

- It is beautiful. - Aww..

[gasping] It's gorgeous.

- And you will be, too. - Thanks.

How could you do this, Valene? This stuff was between us.

- 'It was private.' - I know that, Gary.

- You lied, Valene. You lied! - I didn't, Gary.

- You're hurting too many-- - Well, Kenny hurt Kenny.

- We didn't do-- - I'm coming apart here.

- I love you, Mack. - Karen, I love you.

[romantic music builds and ends]

[intro theme music]

[music continues]

[theme music ends]

[soft music]

[Karen] 'Oh, they look cute.'

'They look happy.'

'What a cute little couple.'

'All the brides are blonde.'

'We'll have to get a brunette bride.'

[Karen sighs]

[Karen gasps] This is to die for.

This is to die from.

Oh! I'll wear off white.

Off.

Karen, do we have to do all of this right now?

[Karen] 'I thought we wanted to get married.'

Yeah, I meant sorting out all this stuff.

Invitations.

Well, we have to decide on what napkins to use

which matchbooks and-and flowers.

And I've got a list of about 42 things

to do before we're done.

Can't it wait a little bit?

No, it cannot. We have to do it today

or it won't be back before the wedding.

[Mack chuckles]

I never thought marriage would be so...complicated.

Pal, this is only the tip of the iceberg.

Oh, don't mind me, kids. I'm getting used to it by now.

Good.

Did you get everything picked out yet?

No, we've hardly- where's my-where's my list?

Mom, don't you think we could invite Abby?

[chuckles] Abby? Oh, boy.

[Diana] 'I mean, this is a time to celebrate.'

'You know, heal all the old wounds.'

Mom, I'd be hooked up to a dialysis machine

if she hadn't given me her kidney, you know.

I can't invite her.

Val's gonna be the matron of honor

and-and-and it'll be just too awkward.

I'm sorry, she just can't come.

It's up to your mother.

- 'Sorry.' - Alright. Have fun.

- Now I've been thinking. - Uh-oh.

Maybe we should get married in a church

instead of a restaurant.

But we've already decided on Daniel.

It's my first marriage. I think we should do it right.

Oh, darling, sweetheart.

I want you to be happy but the invitations

are already out.

Well, okay.

And Richard would be very disappointed.

Okay.

Besides...to Richard, his restaurant is like a church.

So it'll be almost the same thing.

Almost.

[quirky music]

[bell dings]

[scoffs] What do you want?

Kenny, we've got to talk, whether you like it or not.

Look, I know how you feel, but I did not go behind you back

and make a deal with Munson. I never lied.

Look, you wanted a big-time producer instead of me.

You got yourself Munson.

We went in this together

and I was willing to stick by you all the way

but you're the one who wouldn't work with Munson.

Look, you can believe that if it makes you feel better

'but it's not the way things happened.'

You went into this to make money, Gary.

I went into it to make records.

You were perfectly happy to sell Ciji to the first bidder.

If that meant I was out, so what?

[Kenny] 'Now, you can sit home and count the profits'

'from your investment but me, I'm out of a job.'

You could have been part of it if you'd wanted it.

If I'd wanted it? What's with you, man?

If I wanted it, I wanted it so bad, I could taste it.

Gary, you dangled a dream right in front of my face

and then you snatched it away.

Kenny, there's been a big misunderstanding here.

We've got to straighten it out.

[Kenny] 'No, no, misunderstanding, man.'

'You cut me out, pure and simple.'

'Why don't you live with it?'

You know, at first I thought maybe this was Abby's doing.

I know how her mind works.

I thought maybe she put you up to it.

But then I remembered who you really are

[Kenny] 'some of the things you've done and I realized'

'I should have expected this from you all along.'

Back off, Kenny.

Hey, you got Sid Fairgate involved in selling

stolen auto parts, and now he's dead.

He gave you a break. You betrayed his trust in you.

[Kenny] 'Val stands by.'

'You would know you run out on her.'

'Well, now you're just doing the same thing to me.'

That's not fair.

You're damn right it isn't.

[typewriter keys clacking]

Am I disturbing you, sweet pea?

No, mom, I'm finished for today.

I have to go with Karen to pick up some things for the wedding.

Oh, Karen is gonna be such a pretty bride.

Yeah, I know.

[Lilimae] 'The way you hid those chapters, sugar, you'd think'

'we were expecting burglars any minute.'

Can you blame me?

Oh, now, Valene, you fret too much.

You know those pages weren't taken.

You only misplaced them for a while.

Maybe, but it still makes me uneasy to think that

somebody else may have read'em.

Oh, you, you're a best-selling author now

with a publisher and an advance

and you can't keep your writing private forever.

Yes, I can.

Oh, I just know your new book is gonna sell and sell

and sell, and everyone's gonna be reading it.

But, mama, that's when it is a book

and I'll have a chance to go over it and revise it by then.

Oh.

But, see, when I first write it

I-I just put down everything

just as it comes, you know, just as I feel it

in the heat of the moment, so to speak.

And well, see, I don't want anybody reading that

until I've had a chance to go over it

and censor it myself.

Oh.

Besides, this one's a lot different.

It's about breaking up with Gary.

Well, it's good for you to let out all that anger.

- He deserves it. - Oh, mama, please.

Oh, well, now those pages are found.

Now they're safe and sound.

Yeah. I just wish I could be sure that

Chip didn't get into them.

- 'Huh?' - You heard me.

Oh, Valene, now you know Chip said he had nothing

to do with those missing pages.

Oh, sugar.

I mean, after all he's done for us

it's been nice having him here.

Mama, I know it's been nice having him here.

He's been just wonderful for us.

- Hi. - Oh, hi.

- Hi, Val. - Hi, Chip.

I have to be going, mama. I'm late.

[Kenny] 'Sure, take off, man. Run away.'

'You know, it's what you always do.'

- What's going on out there? - 'It isn't fair.'

I don't know.

[Kenny] 'You had your chance, Gary, and you blew it.'

'So don't come around here with a lot of phony excuses.'

'You know, it's time somebody told you'

the truth about yourself.

Oh, you're so caught up in your own self-pity

you don't know what the truth is.

No, no, you're the one who's caught up in himself.

[Kenny] 'You don't even realize what you do to other people.'

You're a weak, spoiled coward

who never stands up for anyone or anything.

'You-you take the easy way out, and you don't care'

'who you step on to do it.'

Well, congratulations, Gary.

You finally learned to be a true Ewing.

[emotional music]

[engine ignites and revvs]

[car screeches]

Well, what do you know?

Finally, everybody's finding out

what a snake in the grass Gary is.

[emotional music builds up]

Val will be here soon.

I wanna finish with everything before she gets here.

[Mack] 'Yeah, okay.'

Mack, come here for a minute.

Um, what do you think of this style matchbook?

Okay.

Boy, you got good eyes.

- What? - Matchbook.

Matchbook?

Yeah, our names can be engraved here at the top

and right here at the bottom.

Karen, why do we need matchbooks?

Well, you wanted a big wedding.

It's-it's kind of a nice touch.

Matchbooks? Hardly any of your friends smoke anymore.

It's just a memento of the day, a souvenir.

Well, let's set up a booth. Souvenirs, matchbooks

little bow ties for the gentlemen

corsages for the ladies.

What do you think?

Oh, no, they sent the wrong sizes.

They look like those guys who announce

the Friday night fights.

And in this corner, the lightweight, Eric Fairgate.

I feel like a robot.

- Switch 'em. - 'We did.'

Still don't fit.

Well, we don't have to wear these, Mack, do we?

No, of course not.

Of course they do. You wanted a big wedding.

And this is what they wear at big weddings.

[chuckles] Look at him. He looks paralyzed.

This guy looks like a drummer.

Guys, go upstairs. Take 'em off before you mess 'em up.

I-I'll return them and get a size that fits.

- I'll return them. - No, I'll take them back.

I'll take them back.

Look, I-I don't see why we have to

get dressed to go to a wedding anyway.

Don't even say it.

[dramatic music]

[waves splashing]

Don't tell me.

Kenny wouldn't accept your apology.

I didn't go over there to apologize.

I went over there to clear things up.

Threw everything back at me.

[sighs] You sound surprised.

I am surprised. I thought he was my friend.

Gary, when are you gonna learn?

Those people aren't your friends.

They smell money, that's all.

They're only interested in what's in it for them.

Something you understand only too well.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that Kenny and I were friends

and partners until you started

twisting things around with Munson.

I started twisting things around?

What about you? Where were you? Out to lunch?

Alright, but let's at least admit he got a raw deal.

I mean, he may have done it to himself

but once you started working with Munson--

Wait a minute. We are working with Munson, you and I.

I never did anything you didn't know about

or go along with, Gary.

Yeah, well, maybe that's the problem.

Maybe I went along with too much.

Gary.

Honey, let's not fight.

I know what Kenny said to get you like this

but don't let it come between us.

Things are just starting to fall in place now.

Hey...we've got each other.

What else matters?

[tense music]

[door closes] You go ahead and return those

'cause I've gotta get some stamps.

- Okay. - 'You need help?'

No, I'm alright.

Oh, boy.

There's just so much to do.

And Mack won't agree on anything.

Oh, come on, Karen. It's always that way

at weddings. You know that.

No. Now he doesn't want personalized matchbooks.

He says they're souvenirs, and souvenirs

shouldn't be given out at weddings.

Well, I've got to agree with him on..

[emotional music]

- Oh, my God. - I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

[calm music]

- Hey. - Hey!

[laughter]

- You scared me. - What are you doing?

I'm making some notes to Thornwell.

Gonna get some publicity going full blast on this

fabulous girl singer I know.

- Did you get the job with him? - It's virtually in the bag.

Thornwell's so high on me.

I have a feeling this job is gonna put me

right at the top of things. I'll be meeting people

I once only dreamed about.

That's great. I'm glad it's working out for you.

Hey, hey, we're in a public place.

- Cool it. - Oh, who's gonna tell on us?

Well, Richard's in the kitchen.

We have to watch ourselves.

There's too much at stake here.

The main thing at stake here is our baby

and I wish you'd quit avoiding the issue.

I know, I know, I know.

But for the time being

let's just keep everything in perspective, alright?

We'll go one day at a time.

Sure, and what do we do when my pregnancy starts to show?

Well, working on a new number?

Dammit, Ciji, he could have heard you.

You gotta stop talking about this pregnancy

or you'll ruin everything.

- Do you understand that? - Yeah, sure.

[gloomy music]

[Valene] I never meant for any of this to be seen.

What am I gonna do?

I mean, what can I do?

Oh, honey, just calm down.

I promise you we'll get to the bottom of this.

Now, what I don't understand is

how they can publish something like this without permission.

I don't know.

They took something that was mine.

Now everybody's gonna be reading it.

And to think that I always used to buy that in the supermarket.

[Valene] 'Oh, I can't believe it.'

I just wrote down my feelings

you know, like in a diary.

I even used the real names.

I was gonna change all that in the second draft.

I'm sorry.

Well, I know one thing we can do.

I was hurt when I wrote that. I never ever meant any of this

about Gary to be seen.

I was just so angry at the time.

Take a look at that.

"Booze and women made my life hell."

"Ewing ex tells all in new book."

Is there anything we can do about it?

Well, it's obviously stolen material. You can sue 'em.

No.

If I was to just make it worse, it'd be all that publicity.

Sleazy rag.

Oh, God, it's so awful.

Hey.

♪ Something's not right ♪

♪ Oh something's not right ♪

♪ Maybe I can change ♪

♪ Something's not right ♪

♪ Oh something's not right ♪

♪ Something's not right ♪

♪ Maybe I can change ♪

♪ Oh I can change ♪♪

[upbeat pop music ends]

See what I mean?

Now, that's the number that Kenny rejected for Ciji's album

but I'm telling you, that's a terrific song.

Nice is more like it.

Gary, we've signed the contracts.

We've done what we came here to do.

Why don't we discuss this another time?

- Now, wait a minute. - That could be a hit song.

I don't think so, Gary. It's a nice tune, sure

'but it's not the right sound for Ciji.'

[chuckles] Jeff, I know the right sound for Ciji.

I mean, I'm the one that found her.

Anybody can hear a singer, Gary

but I've got my own ideas about what to do with her.

Gary, we've got some other appointments.

Don't you think we ought to go home?

That song belongs on the album.

Look, Jeff, uh, if you

and I are gonna be partners, we're gonna have to--

[Jeff] 'Wait a minute. Hold it right there.'

'Let's get this straight, Gary.'

I bought Ciji's contract from you.

That does not make us partners.

That gives me the right to make the decisions

'and you the right to collect a percentage.'

[intercom beeping] Period.

And Kenny Ward was right about this song.

It does not belong on the album.

[Abby] Gary, why don't we go?

Will you tell her to hold your calls?

We're not through yet.

[female receptionist] 'Lilimae Clements is on line one, sir.'

Thank you.

Hello, Lilimae.

Hello, Jeff.

Something awful has just happened.

I-I can't go into all the details now

but, uh, Valene is fit to be tied.

I have never known her to be so upset.

- Uh, where are you? - At the Fairgates's.

Okay, look, just take her home, and I'll be right over.

I have a personal emergency.

We'll have to finish this later. I'm sorry.

[door opens]

- Just one-- - No, no, no.

- Oh, come on. - No, no, no.

They'll never see it.

I really hope they're gonna be very, very happy.

Oh, me too. Oh.

You know, when I was younger, I used to fantasize

about these little people on wedding cakes.

And they lived happily ever after.

Maybe only a plastic ornament

but it's the hardest thing in the world to throw away.

[Laura] 'There.'

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

I should go rehearse.

Why don't you come keep me company?

Okay.

I'm really anxious to try this new tune.

Laura! What a pleasant surprise.

I didn't know that you were here.

- Hi. - Hi.

Well, Daniel is once more

a mom-and-pop operation.

No, Richard. I'm here to help prepare for Karen's wedding.

And you probably dropped by to lick the bowl.

No, I asked Ciji to help me with the decorations.

- Richard. Hi. - Oh, hi.

I'd like to talk to you. Hi, Ciji. Hi, Laura.

- 'Hi.' - What can I do for you?

Uh...where is everybody?

Where are all the people who are usually setting up for dinner?

I gave everyone the afternoon off.

Why?

Because I'm closing the restaurant

for Mack and Karen's wedding rehearsal.

And you're gonna lose the dinner business?

- 'Yeah.' - You can't do that.

- No? - 'No.'

Look, you don't have anything to say about it.

I most certainly do have something to say about it.

Not when it comes to my friends.

[Abby sighs]

As long as I make the payments on time

I'll do anything I want when it comes to my own restaurant.

Matter of fact, I think I'll close for the wedding, too.

[tense music]

[opens door]

[closes door]

Jeff.

Mr. Munson, what..

What are you doing here?

Well, where's Val and Lilimae?

Upstairs.

I wanna talk to you in private, Chip.

Great.

Hi.

What can I do for you?

I want you to take a look at that.

Oh, my God.

Well, how could this have happened?

Why don't you tell me?

Oh, wait a minute. You don't think that I..

Jeff, now wait a minute. You must know

how I feel about Valene.

I mean, hurting her would be like

hurting my own flesh and blood.

Somebody broke into her room and took those chapters.

You're kidding me.

Oh, my God. Well, please

anything I can do to help you apprehend this person

just let me know.

Ah, this particular display is especially nice at nuptials.

Well, I-I like that. That's-that's fine.

- It is? - Yes, that's fine.

I've seen that exact display at a mob funeral.

[telephone ringing]

- Karen, not again. Karen? - I-I promise.

I'll just be a second.

Hello? Ginger.

Yes, yes. Val knows. She's very upset

but I-I-I don't know if Gary knows about it yet.

See, I don't want any flowers ever used at anybody's funeral.

I don't do mob funerals.

[telephone ringing] Hello?

Karen, we've got to get through this.

Will you hold on? I can't deal

with our wedding right now, Mack.

Oh, okay. Our wedding's only two days away, anyway.

[Karen] 'Who is this?'

Oh, I'm sorry, Laura.

Yes, Val knows, but-but we don't know if Abby or Gary knows yet.

Hey, do you have anything light, bright, and happy?

May I suggest mums, sir?

Everyone at Daniel has a copy?

I'll call you right back.

Oh, Mack.

I was hoping we could keep it a secret.

Okay. Mums the word. Mums.

[mildly tense music]

[strumming guitar strings]

Hey, man, did you get to the part where she calls him

a greedy child grabbing for candy?

[both laughing]

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Oh, my gosh.

[men snickering]

Oh, this isn't funny. Don't laugh. This is terrible.

Hey, Ciji, check out the part

where she called Abby Cunningham the blonde witch.

[men laugh]

Ciji, have you seen Abby?

Oh, hi. No, I haven't.

What's, uh, what's going on?

Nothing. How you doing?

Fine. What's everybody reading?

[emotional music]

[Ciji] 'Gary, this story means nothing.'

I mean, this paper's a sleazy scandal sheet.

She's opened up my private life for everyone to see.

It's bad enough she had to trash

my family in her book. Now she's after me.

[Ciji] Would you listen to me? Nobody believes what they read.

How could she do it? It's like picking

a private sore in public. She was my wife.

[Ciji] 'Gary, maybe she didn't do it.'

What are you talking about? She wrote the book.

No, I don't know.

I'm so sorry about all this.

I wish there was something I could do.

Yes, so do I.

[Ciji] 'Hey, wait a minute. Why don't you-'

why don't you wait till you calm down a little?

I don't wanna calm down a little, alright?

[sighs]

Oh, Chip!

[sighs heavily]

[Chip] 'Those pages I gave you were'

'for your eyes only Mr. Thornwell.'

'This could get me into a lot of trouble.'

That lady's book is gonna be one hot property now.

And we could lose it on account of this.

After all I've done to lure Val Ewing to your firm.

And maybe I've overestimated you, Chip

I was sure a promising young executive like yourself

would see the artistry behind this maneuver.

What do you mean?

I mean, if you expect to join Thornwell & Associates

I expect you to use this to secure

Valene Ewing as a client for the firm.

I think you're underestimating the damage

that this article has done.

[Thornwell] 'Quite the contrary.'

Let me buy you a drink, Chip.

Waiter.

- Scotch rocks, double. - Two.

Most people, Chip, think public relations is merely

cranking out publicity. It's not like that at all.

Our main purpose at Thornwell & Associates is to

protect our clients from negative publicity like this.

And Mrs. Ewing doesn't know how this cheap tabloid

received this story.

But if she becomes our client, we'll protect her.

[Thornwell] 'If she's upset over this, Thornwell & Associates'

'can guarantee her nothing like this will ever happen again.'

Now, on that note, I think

Mrs. Ewing might come on board rather quickly.

Wouldn't you agree?

It's brilliant, Mr. Thornwell.

Let's have a little toast, Chip.

To Thornwell & Associates?

[Thornwell] 'Not quite yet.'

To women in boots.

[clinks glasses] Ha-ha.

[gloomy music]

Ah! I'm so excited. Wait till you see it.

Just throw them down anywhere, okay?

- Oh, no. I can't stand it. - Do you like it?

- Do you really like it? - It is, it is beautiful.

It's gorgeous. And you will be, too.

Thanks. I wish Val were here.

Maybe she'll feel better for the rehearsal.

- Yeah. - Oh, I almost forgot.

- What? - The essential thing.

You can't get married without this.

Oh-h*! My garter.

[laughs] Thanks.

- By the way, Karen.. - What?

I couldn't get a babysitter for the rehearsal.

Oh, Ginger, can't Kenny watch the baby?

- He's so upset and depressed. - Why?

That singer..

...that Ciji, she's almost destroyed our lives.

Oh, come on, Ginger.

Don't blame Ciji for what happened to Kenny.

She's a nice girl.

Laura, I can't believe you're defending her.

She is the most conniving woman I've ever met.

She happens to be a good friend of mine.

Yeah, well, you should pick better friends.

[Karen] 'Hey, come on. You can argue any time.'

You don't have to argue now. This is my wedding.

Come on.

This is no time to fight.

[tense music]

- Where's Valene? - Hold it right there, buddy.

Now, you keep your voice down, Gary.

She's upstairs lying down. She's not feeling well.

She did not give that article to the publication.

Stay out of this, Munson.

This is the worst thing she could have done.

What the hell made her think she could get away with it?

After what you did to her?

- Gary, I wanna talk to you. - How could you do this, Valene?

[Gary] 'This stuff was between us. It was private!'

- I know that, Gary. - You're lying!

- I know that. - You are, Valene!

I didn't, Gary. I didn't mean

for one single word of that to be published.

Well, you stay in here, Valene.

No, mama, he's gotta understand.

- 'It was stolen!' - Get outta here, Ewing.

Come on. You don't belong here anymore.

Valene, I trusted you. Valene, how could you--

[Lilimae] 'You've got gall, Gary Ewing, barging in here, accusing her.'

There's nothing in that story that's not true and you know it.

- You're not going back in. - Watch me.

Get out of her life!

Stop them, somebody, please! Stop them!

Hey, come on. Guys, hey!

Come on, Gary. Come on, will you?

[Gary grunts]

It's a cheap shot, wise guy. Go ahead.

- And the winner is.. - Come on, get out of here.

You alright?

[pensive music]

[engine ignites]

[car revvs]

No one deserves that kind of humiliation, Chip.

I don't know how you could do that.

Look, look, I admit, I gave the pages to Thornwell

but it's not my fault that he turned them

into that scandal sheet.

If you hadn't taken 'em in the first place

it would have never happened.

I told you, I'm taking care of it.

I did it for us, so I could get the job with Thornwell.

I did it because of the baby.

No, don't give me that.

I know you don't want this baby.

Hey, what's it to you, anyway

since when are you such a big Gary Ewing fan?

You hurt him very badly.

I told you, it wasn't my fault!

I'm taking care of this my own way

and if you ever tell anyone that it happened

I'll make sure that..

[sinister music]

[tense music]

[waves splashing]

[car whirrs]

[door opens]

Hello.

You've seen this, of course.

Where have you been?

[scoffs] You went to see Valene, didn't you?

After all this time, you still run to her first.

Abby, please.

Even after she does something like this.

Gary, when in the world are you gonna be free of that woman?

She didn't know it was gonna be published.

Oh, please, is that what she told you

and you just automatically believed her?

Yeah, she's not like you, Abby.

When she says something, it's usually true.

Don't you attack me.

She's the one who published this.

[Gary sighs]

She said somebody stole it.

Right. And who wrote it? Winnie the Pooh?

Gary, my children could see this.

It's libel.

It's not libel, Abby. It's true.

Don't you remember? You were there.

Abby, we've gotta talk.

Something's gone terribly wrong here.

Oh, Gary, please, not the guilt.

Every time you go to see Valene, you come back with guilt.

I'm not talking about guilt.

Valene did what she did because she was hurt.

We hurt her. We hurt Kenny.

- We're hurting too many people. - Look, Kenny hurt Kenny.

- We didn't do-- - Look..

Throwing it back on somebody else

isn't gonna solve the problem.

[tense music]

[Gary] 'You and I have gotten on the wrong track somehow'

'and we've got to get straight about it.'

At least tell the truth, at least to each other.

This is serious, isn't it?

I'm coming apart here.

What Kenny said this morning really hit home.

And now with all this garbage in the paper

I'm wanna sit down and talk out what's going on

what's real, what isn't

'what's true, what's not true.'

Okay.

We can do that whenever you want.

- You mean that? - 'Of course.'

I know you're tired now.

Let's set aside the whole day tomorrow.

Let's thrash it all out. Let's start at the beginning

and find out where we went wrong

'and what we have to do to change.'

Thank you.

[comforting music]

[Richard] Will you help me with the chairs?

I need that guy to help me. We don't really need salt.

- I want you to move that too. - Okay.

[Karen] Alright. Hi, uh, excuse me.

I-I don't know how we can rehearse

without Val and Jeff and Kenny and Ginger. And where's Diana?

Well, you know her, she's always late.

Come on, we can get this over with.

Let the boys, uh, stand in. Come on.

Oh, that's a good idea. Eric, you stand in for Val

and Michael, you stand in for Diana.

Mom, no way. I'm not standing in for no girl.

I'm the head usher. Let somebody else do it.

[Michael] 'Why don't you stand in?'

[Eric] 'I'm not gonna stand in for nobody.'

- I'm the head usher. - So be the head usher then.

I will when we rehearse.

Come on, you get up there and stand in for the girl.

No, way, I ain't standing. No way.

I'm not standing in for no girl.

Qui-quiet! Quiet. We-we gotta organize this wedding.

[Richard] 'Look-look, can we get things going here?'

- Well, we're trying to. - Because I mean..

I closed down the restaurant

to accommodate this rehearsal.

- 'Just tell us what to do.' - 'Richard, you did not.'

[Richard] 'What are you talking about?'

[Laura] 'You did it to show off in front of Abby.'

What a thing to say! You know how much money

I'm losing this afternoon? I don't mind losing the money

[Richard] 'but nothing's going on here.'

I mean, you kids are sitting here like a couple of loxes.

I'm the one moving all the chairs.

'Could you move some chairs? Nobody's moving anything.'

Look, we don't need salt. We need rice.

[joyful music]

[wedding carol]

[music continues]

[closes door]

[Karen sighs]

[bell dinging]

- Hi. - Oh, hi.

[laughs] We'd like to get married.

[Karen laughs]

- Did you get the license? - Oh, yes.

[paper rustling]

Well, we are prepared.

- Mr. McKenzie? - Yes, ma'am.

- 'Ms. Fairgate?' - Mrs. Fairgate.

[sighs]

Uh, which ceremony did you want?

How many are there?

Religious and non-denominational.

- Religious. - Non-denom--

Good. We have two wedding plans.

The deluxe ceremony, which includes the ritual rice

recorded wedding march, and our special wedding gifts.

[female #1] 'Or the super deluxe ceremony'

'which includes the ritual, rice'

'someone to throw the rice and confetti, live organist'

'a complimentary photograph, and our special wedding gifts.'

The deluxe would be fine.

Good. Now, if you'll just have a seat

we'll get started shortly.

Thank you.

[both snickering and laughing]

I don't wanna throw the rice.

Karen, come on.

I know, Mack.

I know. It's just..

This is my first marriage, remember?

It's just this place is so...ridiculous.

And look at us. I mean..

Hey, hey, hey. You look beautiful.

Well, you should have worn your blue suit or your brown suit.

No, no. See, you're wearing the dress.

We're getting married, and I'm wearing the tuxedo.

That's it.

With brown shoes?

[wedding music]

[Lilimae gasps and whimpers]

[Chip] What's the matter, Lily Mae?

My fire's too hot. I'm burning these eggs crisp as the bacon.

Oh!

- Let me see. - Hmm.

Oh, they'll be fine, Lilimae.

[Lilimae] Well, maybe I caught it in time.

'Oh, I guess my mind's on other things, like that article.'

Mm.

You know, I hope that Valene doesn't think that

I had anything to do with that.

[Lilimae] 'Well, did you?'

Of course not, Lilimae.

You know how bad we'd feel if it turned out

you had something to do with that.

Lilimae, how could you even think that?

I'm simply sick that article even appeared.

Oh, I'm sorry, Chip. We're all sick about it.

Valene, most of all.

Oh, I wish she wouldn't take these things so hard.

Well, she's sensitive, Lilimae. She's a writer.

At least it got to Gary, too.

He should be upset.

There's nothing in that article that isn't true.

Huh. Maybe I should be shot like a hound.

I enjoyed what Valene wrote about Abby Cunningham.

She really hit that nail right on the head.

[Lilimae and Chip chuckle] Yes, she did.

And it's about time Gary got some of his just desserts.

That's a fact, Lilimae.

After what he did to Valene and now

what he's doing with..

Oh, what do you know, Chip Roberts?

Nothing, Lilimae.

Oh, you know something, young man. You better tell.

Huh?

I'm not sure if I can tell you or not.

Oh, come on.

You promise not to tell anyone?

Oh, cross my heart hope to die.

Well, you know Ciji Dunn who sings at Daniel's restaurant?

Of course, I know Ciji.

Gary's been giving her kind of a hard time.

Oh?

Well, to tell you the truth

she and Gary have been sleeping with each other.

And her life has been a mess ever since.

He has?

Are you sure?

Cross my heart and hope to die.

- I wish it weren't true. - Uh-huh.

I don't think he really cares for her.

Oh, the rat.

[Lilimae] 'So now Gary is two-timing Abby with Ciji Dunn?'

[Chip] 'Mm-hmm.'

Well, the wheel goes round and round.

Well, you shouldn't have heard that, sweet pea.

[door opens]

[bell dings]

[man sighs]

- Hi. - 'Hi.'

- Uh? - She'll be right back.

Thanks.

I'm Al Spanky. This is my ex-wife, Suzanne.

We're getting remarried for the third time.

- How about you? - First time.

- Aren't they sweet? - Yeah, sweet.

It's kind of early in the morning, ain't it?

Morning weddings are very...elegant.

- I know. - I'm a gambler.

- You a gambler? - Attorney.

[Al] 'Huh, you like a sure thing, huh?'

[chuckles]

'Yeah, cards, craps, you name it, I play it.'

We got married right here the first time.

R-right...here, in-in this place?

- Mm-hmm. - I like the ponies best.

We tour the tracks, you know.

We go to Del Mar, Churchill Downs

Saratoga, Hialeah.

That's in Florida. We got married the second time there.

A-at Hialeah?

Right in the infield.

They got married at a racetrack.

- The second time. - Right.

Al's sentimental. And the first time was better

than the second time so we came back.

- Makes sense. - It does.

[kisses] Mr. Sentimental.

[chuckles] Hey, if it works the first time, why not?

- Sure, why not? - Why not?

[seagulls cawing]

[waves splashing]

- Abby? - 'Mmh. Hi, honey.'

[Abby] I'm glad you're up. I was just about to leave you a note.

Wait a minute. I thought we were gonna talk.

We are. It's just I forgot all about an appointment

that I have this morning with a lawyer.

There's a cable franchise available

and I thought it might be a real good thing for us.

So I'll take a rain check, okay?

No. This is important to me.

I know, honey, and we'll do it.

I-I'll be back by 4 o'clock at the very latest.

We'll talk then, okay?

Yeah.

Good.

- See you later. - Yeah.

[pensive music]

[instrumental music]

- Val. - Thank you.

I need you today.

I have my lawyers working on this.

No, no, no. Don't talk.

Just hold me.

[sobbing] I need you to hold me.

[officiant] If any of you here present know any cause

or just impediment

why these two should not be joined in matrimony

speak now or forever hold your piece.

It's okay. There's nobody here with a reason.

[snickers] Maybe they call someone in, you know, to speak now.

Karen. Karen.

[officiant clears throat]

Do you, Karen Fairgate

take this man

'M. Patrick McKenzie'

as your lawfully wedded husband

to have and to hold from this day forward

'for better for worse, for richer, for poorer'

in sickness and in health

to love and to cherish according to the laws of Clark County

and the state of Nevada, till death do you part?

[Karen snickers]

I do-do.

Do you, M. Patrick McKenzie

'uh, take this woman Karen Fairgate--'

I do. I do. Absolutely.

Then by the power vested in me

I now pronounce you man and wife.

[both laugh]

[clears throat] Gladys.

[instrumental wedding music]

- Karen. - I love you, Mack.

Karen, I love you.

[waves splashing]

[pensive music]

[theme music]