01x04 - Breakfast at Chippany's / Birdyguard

[bunniefuu]

[♪ theme song playing]

[singer] ♪ Stugo! ♪

♪ Stugo, stugo, stugo ♪

-♪ Stugo! ♪
-[man] ♪ Stugo! ♪

[man laughing maniacally]

♪ Stugo! ♪

[echoing] Stugo!

[all] Thank you, Dr. Lullah,
for this gray breakfast sludge,

a vast improvement
from the nutritional dust.

-[grunts]
-Mmm! This is the plainest sludge yet!

[grunts]

It tastes like chores.

-[grunts]
-That's why the sludge is perfect!

-[Chip grunts]
-No foodie nonsense.

-[Chip grunts]
-Never having to stop

to think about flavors...

-[Chip grunts]
-...has freed up time in my life

to explore my feelings
through wood carvings.

-[grunts]
-Everybody say hello to...

The Little Guys!

[screams] What are those?

Little guys, jeez.

[grunting continuously]

I can't stand it anymore!

A human only eats 86,000 meals
in a lifetime.

-No!
-And it pains me

to watch my friends waste
even one on this slop!

Chip! That was perfectly good
tasteless ooze!

I'm going to find

the finest ingredients
that this island has to offer

and cook a meal
that'll blow your socks off.

I won't let you guys down!

-[door clattering]
-[Chip] Dang it! [groans]

I named this one Harrison.

-[bird cawing]
-Easy, mama.

[grumbling]

Easy, mama.

Easy, mam--

[heart monitor beeping]

All right, I've got
a strong culinary foundation.

Now I just need to find
something special to set it off.

Hmm.

Is that a... mushroom?

Hey! Where'd y'all get that?

Run away, little dillweed.

Whoa!

Wet cereal!
Got your soppin' wet cereal here!

I figured out how to deep fry car engines.

Grass! We got a bunch of grass!

Is this grass ethically sourced?

No. This grass suffered a lot.

-[buyer] Oh, mommy!
-[seller chuckles]

Actually, it's umami.

Now, mushrooms are metabolic wizards.

They can digest anything,
but the tastiest ones...

[both] Eat the tastiest ingredients.

[grunts] Real foodheads know that.

[laughs and snorts]

[laughs and snorts]

Well, I'll probably just feed it garbage.
[clears throat]

Uh, name's Chip.

Ri-anne!

Rianne!

Nice to meet a fellow foodie.

[sniffs] You know your stuff.

-[chuckles] Well--
-Oh, she better!

-Daddy!
-Oh!

So, um, what are you looking for?

Hmm. Well, I'm making
a meal for my friends.

Aw, that's sweet.

It is.

So I need this to be perfect
for them, you know?

Oh, well, our mushrooms
are the freshest you'll find.

Other than the ones in the forest,
I guess.

Forest shrooms, eh?

Yeah. Best in the world, supposedly.

Folks go in there all the time
looking for them,

but they never come back.

[sighs] So the forest is,
like, off limits.

[♪ enticing music playing]

Thinking about the forest again?

-Daddy!
-Oh!

Well, these mushrooms will have to do.
What do I owe you?

Normally we rip out a clump of hair.

But how about you come back
and talk to me again

-about food?
-You got yourself a deal.

See you around.

Hair ripping time!

-[shrieks] Daddy!
-Oh!

Thanks to sludge hat,

I've had even more free time
to deepen the Little Guy lore.

[screams]

[Merian] Harrison and Gordon
had a baby together,

but that baby is [whispers] weird.

[whispers] I don't want him
to hear me and get a complex.

Strap those socks down,

because Chip's supreme omelette is here.

Harrison! Oh, my gosh, Harrison,
talk to me. Talk to me, Harrison.

This is pretty good, Chip.

-Totally.
-Yeah.

Pretty good?

-No!
-[growls]

I promised to blow your socks off,

and I won't stop until I do!

-[door clattering]
-[Chip] Dang it!

Oh, you're back!

My friends. Their socks.

Not even one?

-[whimpers]
-[gasps] No.

We need to go into the forest.

We can't just let
the best mushrooms in the world rot

because of some story.

[♪ enticing music playing]

Daddy! Me and Chip are going out.

[making kissing sounds]

What? Oh! Have fun! [chuckles]

-Are we sure?
-My friends deserve the best.

[exhales] Let's ride.

Whoa-whoa! Come to daddy!

[sniffs]

Ugh! It smells like dookie buns
dookie cakes made of dookie buns cakes.

It scares me I thought
those exact same words.

[sniffs and gasps]

Do you smell that?

I think it's the one. Mind if I drive?

[sniffs]

[both] Mushrooms!

Oh, my!

A built-in stove!

Hey, Rianne, you figure
these mushrooms are safe to munch?

They're delicious.

[sniffs]

This is what I've been looking for.

All right, Rianne,
I'm off to make the perfect breakfast.

[grunts]

Chip Manhands, the spirits
of flavor are testing you.

[Chip sniffing]

Just a little further.

Uh, why are you walking like that, Chip?

Rianne showed it to me. It feels fast.

I hope you brought multiple socks,

'cause this meal's gonna blow 'em all off.

Merian is wearing, like, 40 socks.

By not wasting my time
on this foodie nonsense,

I was able to get dressed
for the next three months!

[all exclaim in awe]

-[Francis] Oh, look, a mushroom.
-[Merian gasps]

Beautiful, aren't they?

This place has the perfect lighting

for a photo sh**t with my Little Guys.

[Larry] You brought them?

[Merian chuckles] So cute.

Hey, Rianne! You here?
Come meet my friends!

Hmm. She's probably off having
a foodie rejuvenation session.

[chuckles] Oh, it's what you casuals
would call a "nap."

-She's got the right idea.
-[Sara groans]

I'm wiped too.

Especially 'cause I only got
one bite of food today

before it was thrown on the ground.

I am sorry, Larry.

But how about an apology

you can taste?

And now for the piece de re-Chip-stance.

Who's hungry for the perfect breakfast?

[struggling]

[strains] I can't move.

Oh, okay. So...

Yeah, I think
the fungus is trying to digest you now.

-[all screaming]
-Don't sweat it,

-Chef Chip will get you outta there.
-[all struggling]

[Chip struggling]

[Chip yelps]

Okay, Manhands, don't freak out...

-[distorted voice] Well done, Chip.
-[screams]

We wish to thank you
for making your friends so...

Tasty!

Rianne?

No, not Rianne, though she is delicious.

We are the Mycelium,

the ultimate digesters!

And we must say,

it has been a while since we've eaten
anything as delicious as your friends.

-[Pliny] What?
-[Larry and Sara scream]

Oh, no!

I wanted to make them the perfect meal.

Not make them the perfect meal!

I heard wordplay in here.
Is everything all right?

We're being dissolved for nutrients!

-And you've graciously brought us dessert!
-[screams]

[Mycelium coughing and spitting]

Ugh, she tastes like chores.

[slurping] Ah!

Get out of here while you still can.

[coughs] Gross!

[coughs] Gross!

[both Chip and Mycelium] Ugh!

Chip, we gotta feed everybody the sludge.

But my friends deserve the perfect meal!

This'll be their last meal
if we don't save them!

What's more important,

the perfect meal or your friends?

Perfect meal?

Friends.

-Larry?
-Present.

I thought that was you.
You got that cool jaw.

What I'm about to do
goes against everything that I beli--

Just feed me the sludge already!

Yum, yum, yum.

I can't do it! Won't do it!

Take that! And that! And that!

-[groans]
-[thuds]

Chip, what are you doing?

Can't talk now. I'm believing in myself.

Yes, feed them your breakfast,
Chip. Make them tastier!

My friends deserve the best!

It's perfect.

Open up that wormhole,
baby bird. Mama's here.

[gasps in awe]

Yummy! [giggles]

Chip, the mushrooms like it!

Stand back!

[struggling]

[gasps]

[chuckles] That's amazing!

What's happening? What are you doing?

Yeah! I'm blowing their socks off.

[struggling]

[groans] Stop it!

-[grunts]
-Mmm. That's good.

You're being rude! Enough!

[screaming]

[exclaims in delight]

A fine effort, Chip,

but you're running out of socks.

Merian! You gotta let me
blow those socks off!

I don't know.
It's just gonna be wasted on me.

My taste buds are already atrophied!

[shrieking and growling]

Let me feed you, girl!

There is no way that is going
to blow my socks--

[heart pounding]

[groaning]

[in slow motion] Rianne!

[groaning]

[in slow motion] Delicious.

[shouting]

[Rianne groans]

Rianne! Please tell me you're okay.

[groans]

[weakly] Did we blow their socks off?

Every last one.

Put it there, you crazy pig--

-Hmm!
-[smooching]

Yeah, uh, um... [chuckles]

[chuckles awkwardly]

Nice to meet you? [groans]

Oops, it's time for Daddy to pay the rent.

[screams]

[Larry] Isn't it amazing?

[Pliny] It is a really nice egg.
[chuckles]

But you've been watching it for a week.

Maybe you should take a break?

Like a shower break.

-[cracking]
-No, look! It's finally hatching.

[gasps in awe]

[sneezes]

-[both] Aw!
-Okay, that is pretty cute.

[Larry] Hey!

Wait up!

[chitters]

Welcome to the world, little one.

[gasps]

[chuckles] Seems like
she likes you, Larry.

[gasps and whispers]
Tell her I like her too.

-[bird cawing]
-[both gasp]

-[cawing]
-[screams]

Whoa! That was close.

Oh, man, it's gonna be
dangerous for you out here all alone.

I wonder where your family went.

-[bird cawing]
-Not a huge mystery.

I wish I could take care of you,

but I'm not allowed to have pets.

-Says who?
-Pets are easy.

You just have to feed them,
play with them, take them for walks,

-bathe, brush...
-What do you say, Lizard?

Will you take me
as your guardian and mentor?

I promise I'll always take care of you.

...speak to them lovingly,
make sure they feel confident,

and, um, cover funeral expenses!

I'd say that's a yes.

I will call you Elizardbeth.

Thanks, guys! I'm gonna go
give her a tour of the island.

E-lizard-beth?

E-lizardbeth?

-Elizardbeth.
-Elizardbeth.

Wait, what's wrong with your tail?

[gasps] You are so cool.

[bird cawing]

Uh, I know a better place to dry off.

[Larry sighs]

Two best friends on a hot flat rock.

This is the good life, Elizardbeth,
get used to it! [chuckles]

[softly] I love you.

-[bird cawing]
-[gasps]

[screaming]

[Sara] Whew-wee, Pliny,
get a whiff of this one.

Nah, I smelled this one already.

-[bird cawing]
-This ding dang bird won't leave us alone!

[gasps] Hey, hey, hey!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ah, nycticorax nycticorax.
The Night Heron. Hey!

-Ow, ow, ow, ow!
-[crashing]

[panting]

[sighs] I know this isn't
as nice as outside,

but you'll be much safer here.

Everyone, Elizardbeth is staying with us.

-E-lizard-beth?
-Elizardbeth.

[gasps] Isn't she so cool? Check this out.

-[exclaiming]
-Should you do that?

She's good.

See? She always flips when she's happy.

-Oh, yeah, she does seem happy.
-Aw, so cool.

There. You'll have a very good view
of the outside from here.

Actually, I have a better idea.

-Hey!
-[paper ripping]

There, just like the outdoors.
And much safer.

[cawing]

[screams]

-This way!
-Hoof it!

You all go. I'll use
my advanced bird knowledge to hold it--

[screaming]

[screams]

Come on! Let's get to the lab!

What about Chip?

[Larry] Chip's gone now, Pliny. Just pump!

[cawing]

[screaming]

[kids faintly] Help!

-Yep, these are burnt.
-Pump harder!

Ow! Ow!

-[Merian yelps]
-Go! Go! Go!

[cawing]

[cawing]

Oh, man, I vowed
to take care of Elizardbeth,

but I can't even protect her
from a lousy bird!

There, there.

You're forgetting
your greatest asset, Larry.

Our brains!

With our unbridled intellects,

we can easily defeat this thing!

Okay, where do we start?

You take care of Elizardbeth,

and we'll hijack
Dr. Lullah's fabrication lab!

-[metal clanging]
-[tools whirring]

-[metal clangs]
-[Pliny] Psst, hey, Larry.

[clears throat]

We proudly present

the Night Heron Attack
Seclusion Terrarium Enclosure.

[Merian] The N.H.A.S.T.E.

Within this vault are
the most devious anti-bird obstacles

ever conceived by student-kind.

[Pliny] Room one, a mind-bending
labyrinth guaranteed to disorient.

[Sara] Room two houses this island's
most ferocious feline predator.

[roaring]

[Merian] Room three,
a random question generator,

ingeniously designed
to separate bird from man.

[Pliny] And finally, room four.

Elizardbeth's sanctum.

A sealed terrarium in a vacuum chamber.

If the bird ever manages
to get in, which it won't,

we just push this button

and all the air will be
instantly sucked through the floor vents!

You can't fly without air!

[all groan]

Wow, you really put
a lot of work into this,

but her cage kind of looks, uh, not fun.

I'll just waddle in and add this.

Woah, woah, woah!
You can't go in there. It's too dangerous!

How am I supposed to play with her?

Oh, just use the sterile petting swab!

[automated voice] Petting initiated.

[machine whirring]

[automated voice] The petting is done.

Um, maybe I could
just take her out for a bit--

What? No, no, no.
We can't take her out! She's finally safe!

Okay, look, I know you want
to play with her, Larry,

but the lizard is your responsibility.

You need to do what's best for her.

You're right.
I do need to do what's best for her.

Great! Have fun, you two.
We're gonna go on bird patrol.

-[Larry yelps]
-[doorbell rings]

Who's that?

[sighs]

Hey, it's just me.

Can I come in?

Wait, something's wrong.

Uh, Chip, is everything okay?

[breathing heavily] Oh, super okay.

Really, really normal actually.

[groans] Open the door please!
Open the door!

Okay, room one.

Where's the ma--

Oh, oh, glass!

[groans] Oh, oh, glass!

Oh, glass!

What's going on, Chip?

Uh...

Y'all sure looking hungry.

I've got some eggs.

Fresh, fresh eggs.

-[crunching]
-[gasps]

-Huh?
-[growling]

[Larry whimpers]

-[growls]
-[screaming]

-Meow!
-Huh?

Sara, I thought you were
a panther or something.

I am a panther.

You see, Larry, once I get into character,

I commit.

[screams]

I'm so sorry.

[cawing]

[all gasping]

[Larry screams and yelps]

[Sara yelps]

[Larry gasps]

[growling]

[meows softly]

[sighs] Well played. Meow!

Meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow.

Meow, meow.

-[cawing]
-[groans]

[all groaning]

[thunder rumbling]

The random question generator.

[♪ funky electronic music
playing from generator]

[caws]

[automated voice] Why is the sky blue?

The wavelength of light.

Okay.

-Meow. Meow. [chuckles] Oh, this is fun.
-[cawing]

Elizardbeth!

I'm coming, Elizardbeth!

[Larry panting]

-[♪ funky music playing]
-[caws]

[automated voice] What does the bird say?

[caws]

Sure.

E-larry-dbeth is back.

-[automated voice] Danger! Danger! Danger!
-[cawing]

-[cawing]
-[screaming]

[automated voice] Danger! Danger! Danger!

You're safe now, Elizardbeth!

[automated voice] Danger!

[Pliny] Ugh, the bird's in the sanctum.

Chip, hit the button!

[groaning]

Hey, bird, you're going no-air!

[screaming] No, no, no, no!

[alarm blaring]

[struggling]

[gasps]

[coughs] You saved my life!

I love you, Elizardbeth.

I promised to do what was best for you,

and what's best is a life
outside the N.H.A.S.T.E.

It might be dangerous,

but at least it's got hot, flat rocks.

-[cawing]
-[Larry gasps]

[screams] Nevermind!

I take it back! I take it back!

Huh?

Huh! This is why that bird
wanted Elizardbeth all along!

To come live with all
her bird and lizard friends.

[chuckles]

Elizardbeth was safe the whole time!

[chuckles] The g*ng is gonna laugh!

-[alarm blaring]
-[automated voice] Danger! Danger!

Danger! Danger!

[♪ theme music playing]