01x05 - Verfluchte Hochzeit

[bunniefuu]

Thank you all for coming.

I have really good news.

We found a new source of income.

We will be renting
out the house for...

events!

Great! I love events!

Yeah, we already have our
fist booking, it's for-

ill*gal c*ck?
- No.

Legal c*ck?
- No.

Swingers club?
- Poetry readings?

Cow-tipping?
- No, wrong, all of it.

It will be...

A wedding!

Ah, as expected.

Um, is she...?
- Dead?

Yea.

Subtitle: WDR Mediagroup GmbH on behalf of the WDR
translation: rovermcfly beta reader: average-imperfection

Griet, that's just superstition.

Oh yeah? And that you have to hold your
hand in front of your mouth when you yawn,

so that the devil does not enter
you, is also just superstition?

Um, yeah.

Weddings at Donnerhall bring great
misfortune, if you're not careful.

Everybody knows that!

Ok, so what terrible
things could happen, hm?

Do you see the defense tower at the gate?
- Yes.

Before the big wedding in the year
1645 it used to be twice as high.

Because the bride did not have
a lucky penny in her shoe.

Lucky penny?
- Mhm.

I fail to see the connection.

Because lightning
struck the battlements

and caused the whole
upper part to collapse.

And someone got injured.
- The bride was dead as a doornail.

Crushed?
- No. Fell down the stairs.

In the tower?
- No, in the house.

Because of the lighting striking the tower?
- No, it was years later.

I don't get it.
- Yes.

Nobody understood why she didn't
just put the lucky penny in her shoe.

None of this would
have happened.

Well, I can't exactly explain
that to the bride, you know.

It can't be helped.
She's a lost cause then.

Alright, let's go!

- Hi.
- Hello.

Did you find the place alright?
- Yes, thank you, thank you.

So nice to see you.
- You too.

And nice to see you too.

Wow.
- Look, I have a surprise for you two!

Is that two... brides?
- It appears so.

But, but is that... allowed?

In the Roman Empire it was
normal for us, at least for men.

In our shared flat everyone
did it with everyone.

In my video store there were
entire shelves on the subject.

I had The gold membership...

Urs' tribe all normal too. Man,
woman. Man, man. Woman, woman.

Man, woman, woman, Man. Normal.

Yes, now a new age of
free spirits dawns again!

The world keeps turning.

Love always finds a way.

Well, let's hope that love
at least cleans their shoes,

before it finds its
way into our house.

♪ Cell phone ringing ♪
- Hello?

Hi!

Hi, I'm Emma.
- Shila, hi.

Lovely to meet you.
- You too!

Thank you for doing this
on such short notice.

When the other location canceled,
we thought that's a bad sign.

Aha!

Oh nonsense. From now on everything will go smoothly.
- Yes!

Small problem.

The wedding speaker canceled,
apparently he broke some bones.

But I've done this
a few times before,

so I could step in.

Aha.
- If you want, of course.

Um, sure, that's fine with me...
- Okay. Great.

I, um, yeah.

I just would've liked to
discuss it with Claire.

So, shall I bring you to her?

No, can't do that anymore.

I promised that we will stick to
those classic wedding traditions.

Does she have a lucky
penny in her shoe? Ask her.

Umm, do you have a lucky
penny in your shoe?

No, what's that?
- She's as good as dead.

Oh, doesn't matter.

So anyway, Claire
doesn't want us

to see each other in our
wedding dresses beforehand.

What kind of humbug is that?

No problem, then I'll just ask her.
- Yeah?

Sure.
- Oh cool, thank you.

See you.
- See you later.

This will be a catastrophe.

Grit, I really don't have time
for your nonsense right now.

So, everything's
already set up here.

But where are all the guests?

So far nobody's arrived.

Maybe you put the wrong
time on the invite?

No, no, no, it definitely
says 2 o'clock.

♪ Cell phone ringing ♪
What is it now?

"Hello Tim. Unfortunately
our bus broke down.

We have three flats."
- Three? How do you manage that?

This whole thing is jinxed.

Um... maybe somebody
could drive there

and bring the guests
here in small groups.

Oh, "somebody"? Yeah,
that's my name sometimes.

Thank you, you're a dear.

Hey. Did you see
Claire, the bride?

You mean the second bride?
- Exactly.

Allegedly, she resides in the
lavatory, behind closed doors.

That's what our scouts reported.
- Ugh, Joachim is peeping again.

Apparently, she isn't doing so well.
- Shush!

Perhaps this was
it for love, hm?

Claire? Are you in there?
- No.

Okay.

What is it?
- I'm Emma, who rented out the house.

Uh, hello. Is there a problem?

Uh, no, no problem, but, um,
your wedding speaker canceled.

Tim would step in,
if that's okay.

Claire?
- I'm sorry.

Yes, yes, that's okay.

Or...
- Yes?

We postpone the whole thing?

I might not be so sure anymore.

Whether Tim is a good wedding speaker?
- Whether I want to get married today.

Oh.

I'm seriously considering blowing
this whole thing off right now.

She said "blowing".

You drive me crazy.

Sorry.
- No, no, no, not you. Sorry.

Okay.

Alright, come on in!

Those were the last ones.
- You can put the gifts over there.

Hey, Emma, wait a second.

Did you hear that the
guests' bus broke down?

Felix, I really don't have
time to chat right now.

No, no, I didn't want to
chat, I wanted to tell you...

Can we just focus on getting
this whole thing over with?

O-okay. I'll leave you alone.

Uh, Shila?
- Ah, hey.

Is that the bathroom?
- Yes. But there is someone in there.

Oh, I'll wait a second then.

Um, I think it's
gonna take a while.

But there's another
bathroom downstairs.

Okay. Okay, great, thanks.

Claire?
- Yes?

I made you some tea.

I'm suddenly not sure if
I'm doing the right thing.

I think I know how you feel.

When Felix and I decided
to move in together,

it felt like fireworks.

But on the day of the move I was
suddenly no longer sure whether it was

what I really wanted.

And the longer I thought about
it, the more things I found

that annoyed me about him.

So then I asked myself if I could
stand being around him 24/7.

But then I imagined what life
would be like without Felix.

And I couldn't even
stand the thought of it.

And in that moment I knew that
even though I was so scared

of taking this step, he's
the right one for me.

Felix, hey.

Where's the bathroom down here?

On the left around the corner.
- Thank you.

Is everything okay?
- Could be better.

Okay. More bad news?

I heard Emma talk to Claire.
- About what?

About the fact that Emma also
wasn't sure about moving in with me,

that she also got cold feet.

What do you mean by "also"?

Okay.

Oh sh*t. Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

What happened?

It's really not easy to
to find that one person,

you can laugh and cry with,

and who always has your
back, no matter what.

So just ask yourself if you can
imagine a life without Shila.

Oh.

After a speech like that
even I'm asking myself

if I can imagine a
life without Shila.

Thanks.

Thank you.

It's an old tradition.
Smooth sailing from here.

Valerian tea. Drink up.

Why the hell did Felix tell
Shila that Claire has doubts?

Oh, that's all cleared up now.

Wait, how did Felix
know about that?

Doesn't matter how.
- It does.

I only heard that
you weren't sure

whether you want to live with me.
- But did you hear the second part?

Alright guys, there is a
wedding waiting for us.

Yeah, I just wanna explain...
- Emma. I really don't have time to chat right now.

I organize break-up
parties too, by the way.

Yes?
- Head's up, it's me. Don't look.

Turn around.

Okay.

What now?

Sweetie, if you don't wanna get
married, that's alright with me.

I want whatever makes you happy.

I only panicked because I
want to do everything right.

Well, to me it all feels very right.
- I...

...wasn't sure anymore if we
really thought of everything.

All the traditions, I mean.

And ideally you only do this once in your
life, so everything has to be right, right?

Babe, what if we
get real traditional

and simply start
our own traditions?

You know what?

f*ck traditions.
- Language.

"What heavenly bliss, to
follow one's heart alone."

Goethe stole that from me.

Come on, Adelheid, admit it. Love is a
sharp sword. No matter who wields it.

Good God, we ought to
leave them alone already.

What kind of horrible voyeurs
are we. Just as bad as Joachim.

Shoo, shoo!

Shoo.

Alright, darlings, before
we begin in a second,

we have to cleanse the room
to get rid of evil spirits.

Us?
- No idea.

Begone! They don't
like that at all. Away!

Mh, good.
- Really frees up the sinuses.

Hello?

What?

Catering just canceled.
They all got food poisoning.

Oh. OK. Could we go and
pick up the food ourselves?

Food poisoning.
From ♪their♪ food.

Oh. Okay. Uh...

Somebody's gotta get something.

Yeah, that won't work.
And I've also already...

Rule No. 1 in this business:

If you want something done well,
you have to do it yourself.

Wait a second. No, you can't
leave me alone with this.

I just got the brides'
cold feet warmed up again.

Just entertain the people for a bit, play a
few songs, tell them it's gonna continue soon.

And I will be right
back. You can do it.

Hey. What are you
two doing together?

We're doing what's right for us.
We'll walk down the aisle like this.

Oh cool, so you're not
gonna do that whole thing

where one person is waiting at the altar and
the other one gets handed over my family member?

- Nope.
- Cool.

Where's Tim?
- He had to get something real quick but he'll be right back.

I'll take over in the meantime. You
two can just relax for a bit longer.

Okay?
- Yeah.

We'll be starting
in just a moment.

I used to DJ at our club.
- Aha.

If you need any tips.

Like "Highway To Hell" or
"No Woman, No Cry" or...

Joachim, not right now please.

Huh? sh*t!

sh*t. Off. f*ck,
f*ck, f*ck. Off. Off.

Where is ...? There!

Uh...

Dear Shila, dear Claire, um...

...dear guests.

We have gathered
here today to...

...to witness...
- I think she needs help.

How...

...Real love can merge
two souls into one.

...how real love can
merge two souls into one.

And even if you sometimes
have to make compromises...

And even if you sometimes
have to make compromises...

...two halves are
more than the whole.

...two halves are
more than the whole.

Here... Bumm,
Bumm... more than...

...up.

The heart is more important than the mind.
- Yea.

Marriage is like a w*r...
- Marriage is like a w*r...

...that has only winners.
- ...that has only winners.

Unless the cannon is jammed
on the wedding night.

Unless the cannon is jammed
on the wedding night.

She got it!

Psst, be quiet.

Sorry.

I'm not married.

But I know that I found it.

That true love.

The kind of love that
can scare you sometimes.

Fear only shows me that
something is important to me.

And that I don't want
to lose that person.

Even if he can be
clumsy sometimes.

Or forgets things.

Or already starts watching
Christmas movies in October.

Is this still about us?
- Dunno.

Or takes on expensive
loans without asking first.

Definitely not about us.
- No.

You don't fall in love with someone
because they don't have any rough edges.

Love is when you can't imagine

a life without that person,
even with their flaws.

I'm here, I'm here.

Let's begin.

May I?
- Yes please.

Dear Shila, dear Claire.

We've gathered here today to
celebrate your big day together.

Boooring!
- It's so lovely that you found each other.

This room is full of people
here to celebrate your love.

And I hope you will remember
this day your whole lives.

Thank you for everything.
It was such a beautiful day.

My pleasure.
- If not the most beautiful day.

You shouldn't count your
chickens before they're hatched.

Oh, one second. Almost forgot.
- God, what?

Thank you. It worked.

I already wondered how she's still alive.
- Yep.

Bye!
- Bye!

If they had rubbed themselves down
with a rabid polecat the night before

they really would've been on the safe side.
- Absolutely.

But only very few people know about that.
- Almost no one.

That's what I'm here for.
- Thank God.

Look out, black cat from the left!
- What? Where?

Oh, to hell with you!