01x08 - Episode 8

[bunniefuu]

This morning, the bodies of ex-senator
Raúl Ruiz Lezama and his son

were found incinerated
in the car they had been traveling in,

which plummeted off of a cliff
and crashed to the ground.

Oh, love, you left us all alone!

[reporter] His wife and daughter
received the tragic news.

On behalf of all of us
at Nation News, we send our deepest…

And so?

Let the cat out of the bag.
Or you can go to the state penitentiary.

-Hmm?
-Confess.

Did they m*rder him?

Speak up! Confess it.

I'd like to talk to my lawyer.

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY

Hey, guys!
We've got the fried chicken extra-crispy!

-[Toto] Oh, woo-hoo!
-[Inés] Woo!

Don't get too excited.
The notary's on his way.

-Can we go swimming?
-Can we get in the pool?

Yeah, sure. Actually,
enjoy because we leave tomorrow.

My dad!

Hey, what are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be at the airport by now?

I'm not leaving until everything's signed
and you've made my deposit.

I'm not a moron.

I didn't get that.

That I'll leave when you sign
and deposit my cash.

I'm not catching it.

When you do my deposit.

-He's having problems, that jerk.
-[Cristina laughs]

-With those teeth!
-With those teeth!

[both laugh]

-I'm going to go make myself a drink.
-Wouldn't you prefer some water?

-Oh, not even if I were a plant.
-[Cristina] Okay.

Isn't it weird that we're signing the will
right after these guys passed?

It's not weird. It's totally common.
All the family hunting like vultures.

Okay, ambulance chaser.

Besides, we uploaded the suicide video,

so we're cleared
from all responsibility, princess. Relax.

-Don't you worry.
-[doorbell chimes]

-Not it!
-[all] Not it!

-You go, daughter.
-Why can't Rolando go?

-Inés. Who's here?
-Huh?

The stripper I hired you, Benji.

-A stripper? What do you mean?
-[Cristina] Hey! You can't be here!

It's the notary. Hide!

He's coming.

Come in. Welcome!

-Hello?
-[notary] Good morning!

Yes, it's me.

Are you his daughter?

Ah, no, no, I'm the widow. The wife.

-Mariano, what's up?
-[Cristina] I'm the daughter.

Hold on one second. And don't move.

Do not talk to anyone.
Bear with me just one moment.

-[Luciana] Let's go.
-Cristina. Cristina. Cristina! Come here.

-What's wrong?
-[notary] Going to the office.

They caught Mariano.

Oh sh*t.

He's asking for a lawyer.

-It's over. He's gonna sing.
-Okay.

It's all gonna be out there.

[tense music plays]

Well, now we do what we agreed upon, okay?

-Yeah.
-Thank you.

[sighs]

All right, Mariano. Listen carefully.

If you wanna save your neck,

you do exactly what I'm about to tell you
and nothing else.

[sighs]

[somber music plays]

[sniffles]

[somber music continues]

So tell me, how's your lawyer
gonna get you out of this whole thing?

He said to tell you everything.

[tense music plays]

-All right, my friend, how are you doing?
-Hi!

-[Rolando] Right here.
-[notary] Oh.

Oh. Did you see that portrait?

Ah, I see!

-He's there with the pope.
-[Rolando] That's right, he is.

So sorry I interrupted. Please continue.

Oh, I'll continue.

My signature.

Let me see here.

That's it.

-Pleasure knowing you. Take care.
-We appreciate that.

-Thank you.
-Go ahead.

-Here, your briefcase.
-Thanks.

-Thank you.
-Off you go.

-[notary] Exit's over here, right?
-Yes, go straight and to the right.

-[notary] I can find my way.
-Everything is in your name.

-He arranged it with me.
-What for?

Because I wanted to protect you.

From what?

Is this a new plan? I don't understand.

It's okay.

-I want you to promise me something.
-Yes.

That you'll take care of my kids
as if they were yours.

I trust you.

-[Inés] Why did a patrol car…
-[Jorge] What is happening?

-[Jana] Where are you going?
-Listen.

-It's all gonna be okay,
-[Jana] What's going on?

-You guys have to trust me,
-But--

-Mom, what--
-Now, you be good.

-What are you… You're leaving?
-[Cristina] I love you.

-Come here, Jorge.
-I love you so much.

Listen to your big brother.
Take care of each other.

-[Jorge] But, Mama…
-It's gonna be okay.

-It's gonna be okay.
-[Toto] What is happening?

-[Jorge] What is this?
-[Inés] What's going on?

-Mama. No! Don't go!
-[Cristina] Wait, what?

[Rolando] Just trust and stay here.

-I don't know what's going on.
-[Jorge] What is she talking about?

Hey, kids, everything's gonna be fine.
Everything's okay.

Cristina Ruiz.

You're under arrest
for falsifying documents

and blackmailing your family
to commit a double m*rder.

[Horacio scoffs]

[somber music plays]

Ah, Cri-Cri, it's a shame.

Yeah.

'Cause your hair smells this good.

Mm.

[Horacio sighs]

[somber music continues]

My dear friend,
she sacrificed for all of us,

so that we could be a family.

I always said she was a woman to emulate.

An incredible mother.

Enough with the "incredible mother."

She's a drug addict.
And just look at her three kids.

[Inés] Oh, Benji, shut up.

You gonna adopt them?
Just give me my money so I can leave.

Just like your dad would be.
A literal carbon-copy of that as*h*le.

And besides, you abandoned
your own sister!

For being a b*tch, is why.

-That's why--
-You're the f*cking b*tch!

-Get your hands off me, coward.
-Just get out of our f*cking way!

-[vehicle horn honking]
-[Luciana] Now what?

RODRIGUEZ MOVING COMPANY

[man] That's the house.

-[doorbell chimes]
-What the hell?

-Moving guys.
-I don't know who that could be.

-I don't know. I'm coming, I'm coming!
-We're not expecting anyone.

-Who is it?
-[man] Afternoon.

Who's out there?

Dog groomers. Here to pamper.

What dog? We don't have a pet.

[Luciana and Rolando gasp]

-Oh fu-- Oh sh*t!
-[Rolando whimpers]

I'm here for what I'm owed.

Oh sweet God!

-[Luciana] We owe you nothing.
-[Rolando] Hey, this is private property.

You cannot come in.
I am a lawyer and you need a warrant.

[Luciana] Hey, stop!

-Jorge!
-Okay? Hi-yah!

-[Jorge growls]
-What the hell?

[Jorge] Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

You see? You see that, guys?
That right there?

That's why you don't leave drugs out
where children can get their hands on 'em.

-Come on, kid.
-[Rolando] No.

-Oh, I could get used to that.
-[Luciana] You f*ck are ridiculous.

We just suffered a loss
Get out of here or you'll regret it.

-Enough, enough!
-[Rolando] You're mad.

All this kind of grandma stuff
is for my old lady.

-No way.
-Load everything into the truck.

No, no, no, no!

And you can take five minutes
to pack all your sh*t and get outta here.

In what universe?
This is my house, not yours.

Are you out of your mind? Leave now!

Five minutes, and that's it.

I'm staying right here.
You're gonna have to move me.

-[Rolando] Show some respect.
-Hey, he's drinking my champagne!

-Show some respect.
-[Aldama] Shut up, lady!

[sighs] Now we're worse off than before.

We have no home, and I miss my mom.

-So are you gonna tell me?
-No.

Where's the commander, then?

I know you're eventually
gonna tell me everything. You will.

You will not get anything
that doesn't have to do with my crime.

Your case is already solved.

-[Inés] But, Mom!
-I know what they did is ill*gal.

-But they're criminals.
-[Jana] Uncle Moi, you're finally here!

Uncle Moi!

-I'm glad to see you.
-[Toto] Moi, I'm glad you got our message.

Where's your mom at?

She was arrested
by the guy from our picnic.

-[Moi] Oh, f*cking pig, man.
-[Jana] Stupid pigs.

-[Moi] Can't believe this.
-And Aldama ran us out of the house again.

Aldama? But when?

He showed up today with his th*gs
and kicked us out.

Goddammit!

Okay, wait. What else happened?

It turns out
that Cri-Cri decided to take the fall

for having thrown those little burritos
off of the cliff.

What do you mean she decided?

Like she had done it. It wasn't even me!

-You didn't push the Mercedes?
-Well, technically no.

No, no. Tell me what happened.

Well, you remember
when I told you that I prepared

and poured the alcohol on it
and took the brake off, and then boom!

Of course, that movie is so… Sh!

I did prepare it,
and I poured the alcohol and everything,

but then a Hummer arrived
and did this and…

And then, boom! The sky was aglow.

-Okay.
-A Hummer?

-What?
-Aldama's?

Oh, that's true.

I noticed the bumper had a really big dent
in the front. I saw it at the house.

-That's it!
-Are we great minds thinking alike?

Yeah, it's gonna be hard
to get that dent out of it.

-[Rolando] Hey, chérie…
-No, no, no, no, no.

I've got it!

-We have to go to the police.
-Oh, see? I could testify.

No, no, no, no. You cannot.
And neither can Cristina.

Because a confession
is the queen of all proof.

If Cristina tells her tale,
Cristina definitely stays in jail.

We have to frame Aldama
and stop Cristina from talking.

Absolutely right.
And our evidence will be the Hummer.

-We can blame Aldama.
-What about Mushy?

What's going on with the mush mouth?

-He stayed in the wine cellar.
-[Inés] No f*cking way.

[Luciana] I have a plan to capture Aldama.

Georgie, we'll have to demonstrate
our acting skills.

Pardon me. I just…

[tearfully] I'm just here for my husband.

Our… our little angel here
forgot to pack the urns.

Could we pop inside?

No, man. [laughs]

You won't let us pop inside,
our little, sweet angel of God?

The boss and Borges are in there.
Leave me out of it.

What about you, dude?
Slacker. You take 'em in.

-And what are you doing? Nothing.
-Yeah, man.

-What?
-f*ck off!

No, no, no. [whimpers]

Please, let me go in now.

Yeah?

Well, you better go quickly.

Or the ba*ls of that little angel
will be mine.

[Luciana] No!

We'll just be super quick.

-[thug] Hey, give me that sh*t.
-[Luciana whimpers]

[tense music plays]

Ah, there's the urn. Take it upstairs.
Meet me back here. Hide it well, Jorgito.

I'll go get the g*n.

[jaunty music plays]

[laughs]

[Luciana] I'll take this.

And one for the road. [clears throat]

[jaunty music continues]

All done, Lucy.

-And?
-Give it to me.

-[Luciana] No.
-I saw James Bond.

No. I got you here and I'm gonna risk
my neck to get you out of here. Let's go.

-Can I?
-[Luciana] Not you.

Liquid courage. Let's go, Jorge.

[suspenseful music plays]

Hey there!

I'm so sorry, but we can't find the urns.

You wouldn't have
accidentally put them in the truck?

No, I haven't put 'em in here.

Maybe if you could look
all the way in the back there?

-Just in case. It's my sweet old man.
-Nah, lady, if it's not here, that's it.

No, no. But if you could…

-[thug] Just look for them.
-All right.

And you? Do you have better things to do?

-Why should I go help look?
-Because I'm telling you, that's why.

-Whoa, lady, chill out.
-And gimme your cell phones.

-What the f*ck do you want them for?
-Give me your phone.

What are you gonna do?

This is how you thank us
for doing you a favor?

m*therf*cker, back!

[thug] Hey! No, no, no, no!

-No! Hey!
-Hey!

Let us out!

-Okay, now we continue with the plans.
-Yes. Now what?

-Rolando, get the paper trail.
-Right. Evidence. On it.

-Moi, you're gonna start the Hummer.
-Yes.

Inés and Toto, find your uncle Benjamín
for the love of God.

-And you be careful, honey.
-No, no, no! You stay with me.

-They're sh**ting there.
-[Jana] Stay here?

-Jorgito, we're together to the very end.
-[g*nsh*t]

-[Luciana screams]
-[Moi] Holy sh*t!

-Let's beat those assholes!
-That's it, yeah.

Hey, don't f*ck this up!

[exciting music plays]

Okay. Uh…

[Moi grunts]

Yes! Oh, Rolando, my God.
You need to focus.

The cell phones. Aldama's stuff
must be in here. It has to be.

Where are they? Where are they?

-[whistling]
-sh*t!

[tense music plays]

[whistling continues]

[tense music continues]

[thug whistles]

[tense music continues]

Benjamín?

Benji?

f*cking hell, where is that little lisper?

I have no idea.

-And if he's dead?
-No way he's dead.

What if they k*ll us?

[tense music continues]

[music fades]

No. No, no, no, wait. Um…

Do we only work
when we're about to be k*lled?

Like, this is anxiety and not love?

[tense music resumes]

[music fades]

I know that you k*lled your father,

and then you hired an actor
to impersonate him,

and you maimed the neighbor.
I know it all.

But what I don't have the answer for
is us, Cri-Cri.

I don't know what will happen to us.

I wanted to be your family. I wanted to be
your partner, your whole universe. I just…

I wanna be your hero in a way.

And save you from the humiliation
that is being a single mother.

What are you saying? Hey, hey, hey!

-That's your problem, man.
-What?

You think that being a mother
who's single is humiliating.

Cri-Cri,

you and me made love like animals.
We made each other roar.

Why would you sh*t on everything?

-I wanna be father to your children.
-I'll tell you why.

-Tell me.
-Sure you wanna know?

-Yes.
-Mm-hmm.

-Because no one can stand you, moron.
-What?

And at school, we ignored you
not because you were overweight.

It was because you drove us crazy.
You were impossible to stand!

But I'm not that anymore.
I'm already another person.

I'm a… I'm another body.
I… I have other abilities.

-[Cristina] That is your problem!
-What is?!

You think you're a hero
and you can't even park.

[scoffs]

If we take away all your muscles,
it's like you're nothing.

You're some pathetic, poor as*h*le.

Hey, hey, hey, okay. That's enough.

Stop it. Enough insults!

You know what? Go to jail.
Commander, I'm glad you're here.

-Arrest her. f*ck this.
-That's big of you.

-Do you have a lawyer, Mama? Or not?
-No.

But I would like to confess my crime.

-Ah, perfect.
-Aha.

-Okay.
-Let's hear it.

Did you get it?

It was easy.

What does this do?

Uh, just save it.
There's gotta be a place to plug it in.

[Aldama sings along to radio in Spanish]
♪ You hug me, I freeze ♪

♪ You ask me for a kiss ♪

♪ And I'm left breathless ♪

♪ I just wait a moment ♪

♪ Just tell me that this isn't true ♪

♪ Just stay in silence five minutes ♪

♪ Caress me for a moment ♪

♪ Come next to me ♪

♪ I'll give you the last kiss… ♪

[in English] Gotcha!

[Aldama in Spanish] ♪ …the deepest
I'll keep my feelings… ♪

[in English] No, Jorgito.
No, no, no. Get lost.

I know how to use that g*n.
Let me show you.

-No, no, no. It could go off!
-I'll show you.

-I said I know how to use it.
-Stop! I don't wanna let you get hurt.

-[lamp smashes]
-[toilet flushes]

[electricity crackles]

I think we're gonna need the car keys.

Hey, man? What was that?

[Borges] No clue.

We gotta warn the boss.

Are you out of your mind?

If he finds out
we let that broad and the kid in,

he'll rip off our ba*ls, as*h*le.

So what the f*ck do we do?

-You and me are gonna solve this alone.
-Okay.

-I'll go upstairs.
-I'll go this way.

[ballad in Spanish plays on radio]

Hide over there.

[ballad in Spanish continues]

-Sh, sh!
-Of all the places you could have hidden!

Shut up!

Something's poking me.
Just shut your mouth.

[ballad in Spanish continues]

[Aldama sings along in Spanish]
♪ Give me your hand ♪

♪ Help me breathe again ♪

♪ Tell me you love me… ♪

[in English] What is this sh*t?

[in Spanish] ♪ At least one moment ♪

♪ Tell me it isn't true… ♪

[in English] You don't even think
of doing anything to hurt my baby

because I'll sh**t you, you b*stard.

Ma'am, you wouldn't want that to go off.

-[Borges grunts]
-No, no, no. Stop that.

-[Luciana grunts]
-Let go!

-[Luciana] No!
-[Borges] Let go!

[Luciana] No, let go of me! [groans]

-[Jorge yells]
-Hey, get off of me!

Get the f*ck off of me!

-Shouldn't you be dead, you spoiled brat?
-Oh, a f*cking phantom!

[Benjamín screams]

[dramatic music plays]

I'm a corny guy.

[Benjamín groans]

Boo! [groans]

[Borges groans]

-[Benjamín grunts]
-[Borges groans]

-[Luciana] Hurry. Hit him hard!
-[Borges groans]

-[Benjamín] Let's go!
-Get out of here! Go!

-[thug] Hey!
-[both yell]

Oh sh*t! You assholes!

[Toto] Take that!

[thug] Stop, f*ck!

[thug groans]

[suspenseful music plays]

[thug] f*ck!

-[woman giggles]
-Have one.

[suspenseful music continues]

Borges? What are you doing here?
I thought you were dead!

-[Benjamín grunts]
-Ay, no, no, no!

No, no! It's a f*cking ghost! f*ck me!

[Benjamín] Here, this way. No. Sorry.

[Aldama chuckles]

Wait. Another little bit,
little bit, little bit.

Ah.

Oh, son of a…

Hey, I'm thirsty!

There's no more champagne!

-How we doing?
-Rolando, do you have the evidence?

-Yes, here.
-Perfect.

-Were you able to start the Hummer?
-No. It's a mess. It's wires. I need keys.

-Okay.
-Aldama, where is he?

-[Aldama] Borges? Muñeco?
-Oh sh*t.

-[Inés] Great. What do we do?
-Benjamín, go hide in the office.

You're sending me
to a f*cking death sentence.

-f*cking idiot!
-Think you can boss me around?

[Luciana] Get a grip!

Go to the office.

Oh, chérie.

Operation "Welcome to the Family."

-We're really doing this.
-[Luciana] Here we go. Yes.

[dramatic music plays]

RAT TRAPS

[dramatic music continues]

-[meowing]
-[bell dings]

[bell dings]

-Oh God, what is this thing for? No, no.
-What about… [purrs]

-We can really get 'em with this one.
-No, it's…

I'll tell you what it's for later.

[Aldama grunts] Wait here.
Keep it warm for me.

[jaunty music plays]

Guys, make sure
there's a lot of smoke in here.

[jaunty music continues]

I'm gonna go find those b*stards.

m*therf*ckers.

Yeah, I convinced, "coerced,"

all of my children
to hide the cadaver of my dad.

Ha!

And to steal another corpse
and take its teeth out.

But we never m*rder*d anyone.

Well, then, where is your brother
at this time?

My brother's in Guam.

The band from the '80s?

No, the island. It's a place.

Ordóñez, I thought you said
she was a m*rder*r.

Of course she is.
Just look at her. She's a psychopath!

I can explain
exactly what's happening here.

This man is mad because we f*cked
one time, and I didn't think it was good.

-[gasps] Ordóñez!
-What do you mean it wasn't good?

-Ordóñez! Oh my God.
-But all that pleasure?

-Huh? It was amazing.
-Did you make love to the detainee?

I'm the one who was seduced by her!

Moron, no f*cking way!

-The neighbor wrote about it in her book.
-Keep it in your pants. Come on.

Main room. You and me. Come on, Ordóñez.

-Ma'am, wait here.
-That's impossible.

-I can't believe you, Cris.
-Stay here, ma'am.

[Marcela] Dude, what the f*ck?
What the hell were you thinking?

-You're gonna land us in deep sh*t!
-Me?

Now you either get me a m*rder confession
out of her, or get me another guy,

because I ain't losing this sh*t today.

Now get it! Go get it!

[sighs] Big, dumb f*ck.

[groans]

[suspenseful music plays]

You didn't like it?

Not even a little?

-Nah, there's no f*cking way.
-Oh, piss off.

-[music fades]
-[Aldama coughs]

What is all this smoke?

[breathes heavily]

[dramatic music sting]

Borges?

Borges? What's wrong?

DEATH

f*ck.

[rock music plays]

No. No, no, no, no.

[glass smashes]

Frijol!

Raúl?

Is that you?

This house is cursed!

[jaunty music plays]

[chandelier tinkles]

[Aldama gasps]

What the f*ck is going on?

[jaunty music continues]

Who's in here?
What do you want? Show yourself.

[Aldama screams]

[groans] My eyes!

[Aldama groans]

Goddammit! My eyes!

[Aldama groans]

[music fades]

You may humiliate me
as a lover and a stepfather,

but never as
an investigative police officer

of the District of Mexico, okay?

So either you confess
to your double m*rder

or I'll have no choice
but put my own stepchildren in jail, huh?

I've already told you
this doesn't involve my kids.

And yet you could be lying
to protect them.

Because Toto and Jorge are not minors.
They're already adults.

So for trafficking a human body somewhere,
around ten or fifteen years.

[sighs]

[paper rustles]

What is this?

[eerie music plays]

[strains]

Who's there?

Who?

[Aldama gasps]

[Benjamín howls]

-[Benjamín screams]
-[g*n clicking empty]

[Benjamín and Rolando panting]

-[Rolando yelps]
-I see you, f*cking junior!

[Aldama groans]

-[Aldama] Holy sh*t.
-[Jana] Attack!

[Moi grunts]

[Aldama yells]

-[Rolando] That's it.
-[Inés] Luciana! Luciana!

-[Toto] Luciana!
-Give me that!

Tie him up, tie him up!

-[Benjamín yelps]
-[Moi] Hey!

-[Toto] Get him, get him, get him!
-[Rolando] Come on, Jorge, yeah, do it!

I got him.

[Toto] Yeah, go. Go.

-[Luciana] Nice.
-[Aldama yelps]

-Grab him! That's as far as you get.
-[Rolando] Cuff him!

-[Luciana] Let's go. Come on.
-[Aldama] Don't sexualize me!

-[Rolando] Let's go. Move. Now!
-[Aldama whimpers]

[Benjamín] I lost my teeth!

-No! Where'd they go?
-[Moi] Tell us. Where are the keys?

-Toto, step on him, and hurry!
-I'll never tell!

I'm not that stupid or dumb.

-[groans] Ow, ow.
-Shut your mouth!

A high-school drop-out
and a bleached blonde?

Hey, get him in!

No! My teddy bear.

[Aldama whimpers]

[Rolando] This is your last chance!

Tell us for once and for all
where the keys could be.

No such luck. Checkmate!

-Punch him!
-[Moi grunts]

[laughs] I laugh at your punches!

He's quite formidable. Maybe we'll never
be able to get him to talk.

Can anyone think of anything else?

I know what might work.

-[Aldama] What is that?
-Put up his big arms.

[Luciana] You shut up right now!

No, what is it? What is it?

[screams]

Argh, you lunatic!
Sadistic b*tch. I'll k*ll you!

[Rolando] Tell us where the keys are.

-In my pants.
-And where are those?

-Shall we do the other?
-No, no!

I think they're up by Denisse
and the champagne.

-I'll go up there and--
-No, not you. You could drown in that tub.

A responsible adult should go.

[suspenseful music plays]

[glasses clatter]

[Denisse] Baby, is that you?

-Where's Jana?
-[Rolando] Jana?

[mimicking Aldama] Yeah.

Oh, can you give me a massage?

Not right now.

Okay, fine.

[suspenseful music continues]

Catch me if you can, you jerk.

Come back, girl!
What did you call me? Get back here!

Who's a jerk?

-[Borges grunts]
-[Jana] No!

[Borges groans]

Get off, ew!

-[Borges] Get back here!
-Luciana!

[Moi grunts]

[music stops]

-[grunts] Sleep, b*tch!
-[head thuds]

[dramatic music plays]

-[Luciana] Let's go!
-Yes, let's go, come on. Get in.

-[Moi] Jana, you okay?
-[Jana] Yes, Tio!

[Moi] Everybody, seatbelts!

Drive, Luciana, drive!

Hey, wait, you piece of sh--
You gotta be kidding me.

[dramatic music continues]

-[Borges] What are you doing, f*ck?
-We were locked in, bro.

Damn it. Let's go!

-Step on it! Full throttle.
-[thug] They took the boss?

-Piece of sh*t truck doesn't go faster!
-The boss is in the back!

This isn't fast.

Hang on tight!

-Step on it. They're getting away.
-Step on it, man.

-[thug] Where are they going?
-Give me the g*n.

f*cking not like that! You trying
to sh**t me, you f*cking as*h*le?

-They have a g*n, duck!
-No! [shrieks]

You'll pay for this, you bunch of misfits!

-Shut him up, dude.
-Why does he say that?

You inbreds!

-My guys'll save me. They're professional!
-Eat it!

-[Jorge] Hold on!
-[Rolando] Now shut the f*ck up!

"My father and brother
took everything I knew."

"That's why I k*lled them."

Huh? It's okay.
Here you go. Go on, keep going.

-I'll dictate to you. Write it.
-What?

"That's why I k*lled them and seduced

an innocent investigative police officer
of the District of Mexico

and gave him sex so tender…"

No. "The most tender and intimate sex,

so that I could distract him,
and everyone,

and carry out my Machiavellian scheme

to throw my brother and dad
off a cliff in their car."

I got stuck on "sex with a maniac."
What else?

-Where were you? Where the f*ck were you?
-We were locked in there for hours. Right?

How could you not know
what they were up to?

Jesus, they surprised us.
What do you want, f*ck? That's it.

[Jorge] Guys, get down, now!

No, it's the wrong way!

-[Luciana] It's the only option!
-[Moi] Go, go!

Like Toretto! For family!

[thug] Don't sh**t the boss in the back.

I won't.

Ma chérie, accelerate!

-[g*nshots]
-[screaming]

[Luciana] I'm going
against traffic! [screams]

-[tires screech]
-[Moi] Hey, watch out!

-[Rolando] Chérie!
-[screaming]

[Borges] Watch out, idiot.
You're gonna hit it!

[horn honks]

-[Rolando] Hang on, that's it!
-[screaming]

-[Inés] Holy sh*t, Luciana!
-[horn honks]

-[screaming]
-[Moi] Watch out!

[Toto] We're gonna crash. For sure, gonna.

[overlapping voices shout]

You stupid idiots! Enough!

-Oh God!
-[Toto] We might die on this road.

[Luciana screams]

[tires screech]

Just go around!

-[Rolando] A cop car. We're almost there!
-[Inés] Stop here.

[music fades]

-Where is everybody? Where is everybody?
-No. Over there! You, sir. Okay.

We bring you

the most sought-after criminal
in this country,

for crimes including weapons possession,

violence, domestic violence.

-Crimes against--
-Puppies and kittens.

Violence against kittens. Yes, that's him.

[Luciana] He is the real m*rder*r
of Raúl Ruiz Lezama!

You can't treat me like this,
you d*adbeats!

His car is all the evidence you need.

No. Write "I seduced a Mexico City
investigative police officer--"

Ordóñez, that's enough!

-"I gave him the tenderest sex--"
-Release the detainee!

-We have found the real k*ller of Ruiz.
-You did?

-No way. I got the confession.
-[Marcela] No.

This is no time
for your petty revenge, okay?

It turns out the Ruiz family k*ller
just fell from the sky,

so the case has now been closed. Come on.

-Miss, you're free to go.
-Come on.

[applause and cheering]

-[Marcela] Come on now.
-What real k*ller?

Just start smiling, doofus.

-Why would I smile? We had her.
-You're gonna be a hero in the papers.

-She was admitting everything on paper.
-She'll be fine. It's no big deal.

-This is a big deal.
-Hi, you guys!

[Rolando] Yeah, give her a hug.

[all chuckle happily]

-[Cristina] What happened?
-It was pretty crazy.

-Hey.
-[Cristina] Moi.

-It's all part of the plan.
-It wasn't that hard, was it?

Uh, you know they're watching.

[Cristina laughs]

-Can I ask you for a little, quick favor?
-[Rolando] Yes.

Can we give a big round of applause
to our Ordóñez?

For losing hours at the gym
just to stay here with me.

-Nice.
-[applause]

[Moi] Yeah.

[Cristina] Bravo, hero!

-Yeah.
-Yeah, that's it.

[Horacio chuckles]

[Luciana] Driving was fun.

ABNER "THE UNCLE" RUEDA - CARLOS BORGES
CRISPÍN "FRIJOL" MAYA

Why are you waiting? Come in.

-[Horacio] Me?
-Of course, big boy.

-[Horacio] For what? What the f*ck?
-Do it, Ordóñez.

-Yeah?
-That's it.

[funky music plays]

-Cheese.
-[camera beeps]

An unexpected twist
in the case of Ruiz Lezama.

It's been discovered that the "accident"

actually was, in a word,
a k*lling in cold blood.

And based on the evidence we've obtained,

it all points to Alfonso Aldama,
aka "The Short Fuse,"

who was the vile criminal
who did this horrible, horrible m*rder.

Again, "The Short Fuse."
Let's run the video.

My son and I, Raúl Ruiz…

HOME VIDEO

…have over-leveraged our properties

and lost money
belonging to Mr. Alfonso Aldama,

which had come from investors

that the three of us
sought to defraud together.

We're aware that we will not survive.

But we want our family
to have protection from Aldama,

who has threatened to k*ll us.

If anything happens,

he is responsible.

Luciana, dearest,

forgive me.

I love you.

Sorry, sir, but your payment
didn't go through.

-What?
-Yeah, we tried two times.

No. No, no.
That's not possible. Not possible.

Uh, you know, uh, try again, try again.

-Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
-I have money. Try again.

[funky music continues]

ENTER PASSWORD

NATIONAL BANK OF BUDAPEST
BALANCE: $13.55 USD

-[beeping]
-What the…?

Mexico City investigative supercop
Horacio Ordóñez

seized the criminals' bank accounts
and property,

paying back the investors
who had been defrauded.

Let's now speak to him--

Ugh, f*cking Benjamín!
He really didn't deserve anything.

Well, you know,
"you reap when you do a good thing."

-Mm…
-[Luciana] Yup.

Or was it, "what it is you sow."

Ah, yes.

-"You reap exactly what you sow."
-"What you sow."

-Like sowing bullshit.
-Like sowing total bullshit.

Where's my book? Tell me where it is!

[groans] Oh no, I…

[tense music plays]

Where has it gone? My novel!

Oh, they stole my novel!

[music stops]

-We chose the best final resting place.
-Yes.

-You ready?
-Yes, I am.

Can you help me?

[funky music plays]

Bon voyage, dear.

Bye.

That's that.

[funky music continues]

-Hmm.
-It's over.

[sighs] Home at last.

[Cristina sighs]

[music fades]

[Cristina] Hmm.

[contemplative music plays]

Something feels different.

Like someone's not here.

[Cristina chuckles]

[doorbell rings]

[Luciana] Oh.

If it isn't the junkie.

Oh.

If it isn't the geriatric gold digger.

Welcome to the family!

We're back!

[all laugh]

Will you have us?
There's a lot of us and we're hungry.

-[Luciana] Okay.
-[Moi] And cold.

-[Jorge] Pizza!
-Let's make a bonfire!

-[Jorge] And hot dogs! And cheese.
-[Cristina] And a glass of wine.

-[Luciana] A movie!
-[Toto] Okay, we'll get you cheese.

-[laughter]
-[Toto] All right, Jorge.

[Luciana] Oh, you're gonna make me fall!

[Cristina] And that's how my new family
got started.

[funky music plays]

[inaudible]

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[upbeat intriguing music plays]

[music fades]