03x09 - The Rose and the Briar

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[Lilimae] 'There's nothing that makes you feel as good'

as going and being of service.

Mama, you're in my rear-view mirror.

I especially like to work with the elderly.

You know, the way a celebrity will work with kids

or, or a certain type of sick people.

I didn't know you were such a Good Samaritan, Lilimae.

Oh, Lord, yes.

I feel it's important to do what we can

to help the old folks. Poor old souls.

Oh, I was a candy-striper once. I worked in a children's hospi--

Mama, I can't see a thing.

Yeah, helping people is what I like best in this world.

Well, next to my music.

[engine revving]

Yup. Here we are.

Okay, you have a good day now, mama.

Alright. You, too, sugar.

- Have a nice lunch. - We will. Thanks.

- Buh-bye. - Bye.

[door shuts]

- Buh-bye, mama. - Bye.

[instrumental music]

[sighs] Lord, I bless the day she discovered volunteer work.

Well, she certainly seems to enjoy it.

[sighs] At least it's better than her chasing that dream of hers

of becoming a Country Western star.

How are the two of you getting along these days?

- Yeah, we're both trying. - Good.

I'll give us that much.

And ever since she started doing this volunteer work

she's settled down some.

You know, I really think she gets a kick

out of helping those old people.

[laughs]

- Really. - Good.

Alright, get set for the next big call. Round and round.

And the number is G-47.

Bingo! Bingo! I got Bingo. Here!

- We have a winner. - Hey, you're hot today.

[laughing] Hotter than a blistered man sitting on a stove.

Mind passing some of your luck on to me?

Oh, why, Jackson Mobley, you won last week.

Oh, that's because I had my magic talisman.

Your what?

Breathe on it. That way we'll both have good luck.

Oh, it's only an arrowhead.

Well, that's not an ordinary arrowhead.

A Sioux medicine man made it.

Yeah, he gave it to Theodore Roosevelt

right before the election. It has very strong vibrations.

I put all my good thoughts in it.

In that case, we're both sure to win.

Oh, voila! Look!

Yeah, you're fortune's child, Lilimae.

Alright. We have a big winner for that game.

Get set for the next one. Cards ready.

[Abby] 'That's it. And they seem to like 'em.'

Sometimes peanut butter and jelly.

Ah, here they are.

[sighs]

- Hi, sweetie! - Hi.

Hi. Mwah!

- Hi, mom. - Hi, sweetie. Mwah.

Bye, Olivia. See you tomorrow.

Olivia?

Olivia.

- Bye. - Bye.

[engine idling]

What's the matter? You mad at me?

No. At Sarah Ames.

She's a stupid baby.

Really? What did she do?

We were talking about fathers' night

and she announced to the whole class

that I couldn't go with my father

'cause if I did, I'd probably be kidnapped.

Oh, honey, you know that isn't true.

Your daddy's out of town, that's all.

I know, but I was humiliated.

All the kids are bringing fathers

and they're all doing skits.

Everyone but me.

Honey, your daddy loves you very much.

- You know that, don't you? - Yeah.

But even the other divorced kids are bringing somebody.

Well, Wendy Richard is bringing her mother's new boyfriend.

[sighs] I'm the only one who can't go.

You don't worry. I'll think of something.

Okay?

Okay.

[birds chirping]

[indistinct chatter]

You know, it's hard for me to believe you come

from a wealthy family, Lilimae.

You're so down to earth.

Me? From a wealthy family?

Well, yeah. Didn't you say you were a Ewing of Dallas?

I told you my daughter Val

married into the Ewings of Dallas.

[laughs] We were just down-home folk before that.

But it's funny.

With all that Ewing money, she still needs a mama.

That's why she sent for me to come out and take care of her.

Oh, it's very generous of you to come.

What are mothers for?

Mm, besides..

...all those fancy cars, expensive restaurants

furs, jewels

they don't mean beans if you're not happy.

I mean, they only buy you false friends.

And a girl's best friend is still her mama.

Well, she's lucky to have you.

With me it's always been family first.

Hm!

I gave up a singing career with the Carters.

- Is that a fact? - Mm.

Did you know that I was an artist manager?

- Really and true? - Sure.

I handled lots of big-time acts.

Tennessee Ernie Ford, the old Hank Williams and Patsy Cline.

You knew Patsy Cline?

Oh, we were just like this before she died.

She wouldn't even make a decision

unless she consulted with me.

Oh, I had a feeling

that you were in show business.

[laughing]

I thought I recognized a kindred spirit.

Oh, I handled lots of stars before they became famous.

But, you know, most people, once they hit the big time

they forget about the little people

who helped them to the top.

I believe the quality of loyalty

to be one of the most precious human assets.

You're very special, Lilimae.

I'd like to play for you sometime.

I would really respect the opinion

of a man of your taste and background.

Well, I'd like that very much.

Why don't you come to dinner tonight?

I'll fix you a home-cooked meal and sing for you after.

- I'd be delighted to! - Oh, good.

Laura, I have a new listing for you.

See if you know anyone who might be interested in that.

Well, this is your house.

It's too big for me alone now that Muriel's moved out

and she wants to buy a condo.

I figured it's a good idea for me, too.

If I sell the house, we can both buy condos.

Somehow I just don't see you as a swinging bachelor in a condo.

[chuckles] Makes two of us.

Uh, well, would you wanna have dinner with me

and see what we can do about changing my image?

Is this, um..

Is this a business dinner or a dinner-dinner?

- Dinner-dinner. - 'Hm?'

Um..

Well, actually, Richard and I have decided

to give it the old college try one more time.

Poor long-suffering Laura.

I mean, how much longer are you gonna hang in there?

Well, somewhere I heard something about

till death do us part.

There's such a thing as living death, too, you know?

[female #1] 'Good afternoon. Warren..'

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

- Hi. - Hi.

Here's the thermometer you asked for.

- Thank you. - You just keep it.

- I got an extra. - Oh, thanks.

I should keep a couple of extra at the house

for the times when I break one.

How's Olivia doing? I mean..

She didn't break any other bones, did she?

Oh. No.

She's not really sick. She's upset.

- Why? - Um..

They're having this fathers' night at school

and one of the kids teased her about Jeff.

Aw..

She came home practically in tears.

Apparently, they're doing skits and things

and all the other kids are performing with their fathers.

And, of course, Olivia feels left out.

Well, couldn't somebody else besides Jeff take her?

Oh, mm.. I suppose so.

I don't know who, though.

Certainly not Richard or-or Kenny or Gary.

- Well, why not Gary? - Oh.

Well, Gary wouldn't wanna spend an evening with a bunch of kids.

Are you kidding? He would love to do it.

I couldn't ask him to do that.

Well, heck, then I'll ask him.

You really think he wouldn't mind?

I think you better tell Abby to get somebody else.

Uh-uh-uh. Not a chance. Olivia is counting on you.

Now, we're just gonna figure out something for you to do.

- Can I help, sugar? - Uh, no, thanks, mama.

- Dinner's almost ready. - Lilimae, you look terrific.

I've got a gentleman caller coming for dinner.

What?

He used to be an artists' manager.

Gave Patsy Cline her start!

Well, mama, why didn't you let me know ahead of time?

I mean, I could have made something extra.

Well, I want to, sweet pea, but you weren't here when I got home

and I wanted to jump in the tub.

Right, I was out shopping for dinner for three.

I mean, we don't have enough for company.

Well, are we having chicken fricassee?

Yes, mama, we are having chicken fricassee

but I don't have enough chicken.

Well, just add a little more rice.

I mean, you can feed an army on chicken fricassee.

- If you've got enough rice. - Mama, that is not the point.

You at least should have told me.

Honey, I don't think one more is gonna hurt.

That's right.

He not expecting anything special.

Well, I'll just set another place.

[sighs] Gary, do you understand what I'm saying?

I mean, I-I wanna be nice to her friends

but she is gonna have to meet me halfway.

Oh, there he is! His name is Jackson Mobley.

Now, whatever I say, back me up.

Yeah, mama, I'll back you up.

[Gary laughing]

[Jackson] 'I suppose the strangest thing I ever saw as a boy'

'was when I was living on my Uncle Curtis' farm.'

'We raised chickens, in a mess of those old hens'

got a craving for lightning bugs.

And one night as I was walking past the henhouse

all was dark, except for these eggs

that were glowing like electric light bulbs.

We used those eggs the rest of the summer

to light up the house.

[laughs] That's the tallest tale I've ever heard.

Son, these aren't tall tales I've been telling you.

That's the God's honest truth.

That's calling the dog if I ever heard it.

[laughing]

Gary, don't you think it's about time for you

to go on over and rehearse with Olivia?

Oh, right.

Ladies and, uh, gent, sorry to run off, but duty calls.

Don't forget, you promised to drive Jackson home.

No, I won't forget.

- I won't be late. - Don't be.

I'm a fool for your cooking, Lilimae.

I can't remember where I've had a more delicious meal.

Thank you kindly, Jackson.

Of course, Val helped.

Oh, thank you, mama.

I-I reckon you're ready to hear a few tunes.

I've got my harp in the other room.

Valene, you leave those things be.

Well, mama, I was just going to take these things--

Come and sit with Jackson and hear me sing.

Alright, Mrs. Ewing, please.

The tall redhead? Yeah, I remember.

[chuckles] No. Not offhand.

Yeah, I've got it written down somewhere.

[Laura] 'Richard, dinner's getting cold.'

Start without me.

What? Would I what?

Look, look, Mr. Grayson

uh, i-if you want this girl's phone number

I'll bring it to you tomorrow.

Uh, eh, what I did last week, I did for the firm

uh, a-as a favor to Mr. Parkhurst.

I am not the company pimp.

[sighs] Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry, I won't forget.

[receiver clanks]

"I am not the company pimp?"

[harp music]

♪ The prettiest thing I ever did see ♪

♪ Was the clouds drifting high ♪

♪ In the pine country ♪

♪ On a warm summer's day ♪

♪ With the sun peeking through ♪

You must be very proud of your mother.

Oh, yeah.

♪ That was a patchwork ♪

♪ But mostly was blue ♪

♪ And the handsomest man I ever did see ♪

♪ Was a miner named Jake in the pine country ♪♪

[crickets chirping]

[Laura] 'Had an offer on the Lewisohn house today.'

Really nice couple.

Of course, they've gotta sell their own house first

before they can come up with the down payment.

[grunts] What'd you do to the steak?

- I broiled it. - It's like leather.

I'm sorry. Do you want something else?

I thought we were trying to cut down on red meat.

I didn't have time to shop.

I will have a heart attack from too much cholesterol

and on my tombstone, they'll carve

"His wife didn't have time to shop."

[inhales sharply] Richard, I don't have to cook for you, you know?

Listen, I'm honored.

Honey, if you're finished, why don't you go do your homework?

- Okay? - I don't have any.

Do you wanna watch some television?

Alright, okay.

If you want, there's some popsicles in the freezer.

Okay. What's the problem?

No problem.

Then why won't you talk to me?

What do you want me to talk about? The Lewisohn house?

Alright. Um..

How much did the nice couple offer on the Lewisohn house?



- How's your work going? - Fine.

You don't talk about it anymore.

Oh, there's nothing new to report, that's all.

- Nothing? - Nothing.

Anymore questions?

Yeah. Why are you so angry at me?

I don't like eating burnt steak.

[cutlery clanks]

[dramatic music]

[door slams]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present

the master of prestidigitation, the great Oliviollie.

Oliviollie?

Like Svengali. Get it?

We tried to do Donny and Marie, but Gary can't sing.

I see.

And it won't even matter that my arm is broken.

- Watch. - Okay.

- Huh. - Pick a card, any card.

And don't tell me what it is.

Okay, wait a minute. Magic wand.

- Oh, yeah. - Alright.

Okay.

- Okay. - Look at the card.

Then give it to Gary.

Now the card is.. Oliviollie?

The ace of hearts.

That's right. How did you do that?

A magician is like a great chef.

We never reveal our secrets.

[laughs] Well, I'm very impressed.

[clapping] Very, very nice.

[chuckles] Hey, now you have to go to bed.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight, sweetheart.

And don't forget to brush your teeth.

- I won't. - Okay. Mwah.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight, honey.

Uh, don't make your brother disappear, alright?

This means so much to her.

Well, it's good for me, too.

You know, I worry about the kids

not having a strong male figure to relate to.

You want some coffee?

No. I, uh, I better get home.

Lilimae's got a dinner guest and I promised to drive him home.

Well, I'll, uh, I'll give you a rain check.

Terrific. I'll take it. I'll see you.

[instrumental music]

[door opens]

[door shuts]

I can't remember hearing such a true and lovely voice.

I'm sorry I retired from the management business

or I'd make you a star in no time.

Oh, Jackson, you're telling tales again.

I know talent when I see it, Lilimae.

You should be singing to thousands

riding around in chauffeured limousines.

- Uh, speaking of which.. - Oh, I'm sorry, Gary.

- See you tomorrow, Lilimae. - Oh, yes, indeed.

Jackson, nice having you.

[engine starts]

[engine revving]

Oh..

[sighs]

Isn't he the nicest man?

[crickets chirping]

[door opens]

[door shuts]

Oh..

He is such a gentleman.

Mama, he is the biggest teller of tales

that I have ever met in my life.

He's got the touch of the poet, alright.

Everything he said was an exaggeration.

- From beginning to end. - Valene.

There are two kinds of minds in this world

the minds that are logical and rational

and sticklers for details

and then the minds that are inspired by a larger vision.

Oh.

Now, it's no fault of yours

but you've got one kind

and Jackson and I have the other.

I mean, we see beauty and magic in what others find dull.

You may get your facts straight, but we see the truth.

Mama, you are chasing your dreams again

and it's gonna get you in trouble.

Well, if I didn't have my dream, sugar

I might as well lay down and die.

Yeah, but you live in your dreams, and, see

all I'm trying to do is get you to live in reality.

You want me to believe that I'm an old woman with no talent.

And I never will believe that.

Now Jackson sees something in me that you never have, sugar.

And I'm not gonna listen to you talk against him.

Okay, mama. You just be careful.

[water sloshing]

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[door shuts]

[knocking on door]

[door opens]

- Hi. - Hello.

I had to come.

You were right. I-it-it's like living death over there.

I can't stand it anymore.

I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I had to see you.

[Muriel] 'Who is it?'

[footsteps approaching]

Well..

I'm sorry, I came at a bad time.

It seems as if I'm the one who's interrupting.

- No. - Laura, I'm really sorry.

I, um, I'll have to call you later.

It's okay.

[music continues]

So, the woman you're not having an affair with

comes over in the middle of the night.

You keep trying to make her the issue

and I keep trying to tell you she is not the issue.

[instrumental music]

[door opens]

Huh, what sort of house did Jackson live in?

Just a regular house.

Did he invite you in to meet his son and daughter-in-law?

Uh, no, said they went to bed early

and they had a neurotic dog.

I don't know, Gary, there's

there's just something about him makes me nervous.

Seems harmless enough.

I know, but he's filling mama's ears with tall tales

about making her a star.

- Well, would you, um.. - Move over here.

Naturally, she believes him.

Oh, well, maybe they'll both surprise us all.

Oh, come on, Gary, be serious.

Honey, uh

your mom is gonna have her dream no matter what we do.

I think it's best just to let her have it.

Yeah, and she's acting like a teenager with her first crush.

Well, she's been looking after herself for sometime now.

I think we can count on her to keep it up for a while, okay?

Okay. You're right.

[switch clicks]

Give us a kiss.

Mm..

Goodnight, darling. I love you.

I love you.

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

[sighs]

Was the house in a nice neighborhood?

[grunts]

- Was it? - Heh.

[instrumental music]

Oh, Jackson.

[chuckles]

Hello, sunshine. These are for you.

Aw.. Why, how lovely!

I can't remember the last time somebody gave me flowers.

Well, you certainly deserve them.

[chuckles]

You certainly look pretty today, Lilimae.

Oh, you old fool. You're just trying to flatter me.

[chuckling]

You know, when I was a little girl

I went to Galveston with my daddy

and saw the ocean for the first time.

[gasps] A wave would break, and I'd run as fast as I could

to get away from it. Ha-ha..

And then I'd get brave and chase it back out to sea.

I was 18 when I first saw the ocean.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, I joined a carnival.

And I was on a bus to Virginia Beach

when we first spotted the water.

I made them stop and I got off

and I jumped right in the Atlantic.

It was so cold, I could hardly breathe.

They all thought I was crazy.

- Ha-ha.. - Yeah.

I-is that how you got started in show business as a carny?

Yes, I was a barker for Hildy, the Himalayan snake woman.

- She swallowed chicken eggs. - Not really?

Oh, yeah. It was a great act. It took me all over the country.

That's how I first got to Nashville.

Tennessee Ernie Ford came in one night and we got to talking

and I ended up in the music business.

- Just like that. - Just like that.

I started managing Tennessee Ernie

and then afterwards, Slim Pickens and Minnie Pearl.

Oh, come on now, Jackson, you're telling tales again.

Not at all. Well, looky here, I'm standing here with you.

And you've got just as much talent as any of them.

- You really think so? - I know so.

All you need is a break.

That's what I keep telling Val.

Uh, you keep it up, you'll get there yet.

Oh, look at the sun

slanting off the ocean.

[Lilimae] 'Looks all orange and red'

huh, like a million rubies.

Do you know that rubies are supposed to dispel fear?

- And bring joy. - Yeah?

I think I'll start calling you my Little Ruby.

[chuckling]

I appreciate you doing this on such short notice.

I'm sure you two didn't plan to spend the night babysitting.

[chuckles] It's a pleasure. I love babies.

Yeah, well, she's usually pretty quiet.

Ginger, come on, honey, we're gonna be late.

- I just tucked her in. - Uh, Ginger..

I want you to meet Lilimae's friend, Jackson Mobley.

- Pleased to meet you. - Listen, we gotta go.

Okay, uh, the formula is in the refrigerator.

Help yourself to anything you want. And we won't be late.

- Have a good time. - Okay.

- And nice to meet you, Jackson. - Buh-bye.

[door opens]

They seem like a very nice couple

what little I saw of them.

Now I'm gonna go in the kitchen

and look for some snacks.

We can spend a quiet evening in front of the TV.

Unless you'd like me to sing.

Either way. Sounds like a great idea.

[laughs]

[instrumental music]

[intense music]

[Lilimae] 'You like cheese, honey?'

I love cheese.

Maybe there's something good on.

- Lilimae, wait a minute. - Hm?

Let's talk.

What is it, Jackson?

We haven't known each other a long time, it's true.

But at my age, you can't waste time.

I haven't felt about anyone

the way I feel about you in a long time.

And truthfully, I don't expect to feel this way again.

Jackson, I..

Oh, I haven't got much money

but I've-I've got enough to get us to Vegas.

And once we get there, I just know

I could quadruple our stakes with enough

for a trip to Nashville.

And once we get to Nashville

I'm going to make you a star.

Well, Jackson, what are you saying?

I'm asking you to marry me.

Me?

I know I'm not rich like you

and I'm certainly no Ewing.

But you yourself said

that money can't buy happiness.

But, Jackson..

I'd love to marry you.

You would?

Lilimae

you've made me the happiest man on Earth.

[instrumental music]

Oh..

It's good to be on the road again.

Well, it won't be long till we'll be

Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Mobley.

[laughing]

- Hope Val'll be surprised? Oh. - Yeah. Yeah.

[engine revving]

[woman on PA] 'Showroom, line two.'

Are you, um, busy for lunch, Gary?

Oh, I'm meeting Val. I'm sorry.

Can't blame a girl for trying.

Oh, by the way, heh

I got you a, uh, a magician's cape

with a red lining and a top hat for tonight.

Ah, terrific, I won't feel so naked

when I saw little girls in half.

And I got Olivia the most adorable costume.

She's so excited, she can hardly stand it.

Do you think you could come by about 7:30

so you could have a little dress rehearsal beforehand?

Um, yeah, sure, that'll be fine.

- Great. - Gary..

I'd like you to look these over for me--

Um, sure. Give me that.

Am I interrupting something

or is this a game that three can play?

Oh, well, I'd sure love to find out

but I've got work to do.

- 7:30, Gary? - Yeah, right.

[instrumental music]

What was that all about?

Um, uh, taking Olivia to fathers' night at her school.

Hm. Whose idea was that?

Val's.

Olivia and I are doing a magic act together.

Well, be careful. Abby's hand is quicker than her eye.

- What? - Never mind.

[birds chirping]

[door shuts]

Oh, Laura.

Laura, about last night

I'm really sorry.

There's nothing to be sorry about.

Well, there is, I mean, I felt

terrible shutting you out like that.

Don't be silly. You weren't expecting me.

Muriel, uh, came over. She wanted to talk.

Uh, she wants us to get back together again.

- Well, are you going to? - I don't know. I..

This whole thing may just be a-a horrible midlife crisis

for both of us. It's, it's such a cliche.

I mean, it's really grotesque

and I wish it were happening to someone else.

Uh, it's me, remember?

Laura, it's, it's just that



I mean, there is a connection. There's a bonding.

Well, she's your wife.

Tsk. Yeah.

You know, you've really been a good example to me.

You made a commitment to Richard and you've honored it.

And I admire that.

I just wish Muriel had done it.

Now maybe it's my turn.

Well, uh, I hope it works out, if that's what you want.

Listen, Laura, I don't know.

All I know is that I really feel bad about last night.

Don't mention it, okay?

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

Okay. Come out. There!

[indistinct chatter]

Ha-ha! This is my lucky day.

- Let's go. Ah.. - Go ahead.

- Hurray! - Eleven.

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct singing]

[instrumental music]

Mama.

[door shuts]

[clanking]

Mama, is that you?

- I'm not your mama. - Oh.

[chuckles] No.

You are not my mama, that's for sure. Heh.

- Wait a minute. She's not here? - What? No.

She went out early this morning and I haven't seen her all day.

Um, well, why don't we go upstairs and take a nap?

- Gary! - You can, uh..

- You could rub my back. - Oh!

Gary, cut it out.

I'm really worried about her.

She's been gone all day without a word.

Honey, she's got a boyfriend

and she's probably out doing right now

what I wanna go upstairs and do with you.

Gary, she is not!

Now, how could you say such a thing?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe I've got it on my mind.

I mean, she couldn't be, could she?

- Only if she's lucky. - Hm.

Tsk. Gary.

Hey, suppose she comes home?

- Well, you can stop worrying. - Oh.

Well, it, it

it's not like her not to call.

We don't know a thing about that man she's with.

Let me just turn off the stove.

- Mn-mn. Come on. - Heh-heh.

Here's a song my mommy used to sing to me

when I was a girl about your age.

[harp music]

♪ Who's gonna shoe your pretty little feet? ♪

♪ Who's gonna glove your hands? ♪

- Seven, oh, seven. - Damn!

Hey, you..

Alright, that's my last sure buck.

- I'll take five of that. - Okay, let's go. Ah.

- Ha! - Snake eyes.

♪ Be your man ♪

♪ Who's gonna be your man my dear? ♪

♪ Who's gonna be your man? ♪

♪ Who's gonna kiss your red ruby lips? ♪

♪ Who's gonna be your man? ♪♪

[exhales sharply]

[grunts]

Honey, do you have any cash?

I didn't get-get by the bank today.

I have about $20.

I'm gonna play poker with Richard.

I'll need more than that.

Take it from the emergency jar.

And then we won't have any

when there's a real emergency.

Just put it back tomorrow.

That's what we're always saying we're gonna do

and we always forget.

Hey, you see, you must have used it for something

'cause there's nothing in there.

I didn't use it for anything.

In fact, I put $30 there yesterday.

- In here? - It was there yesterday.

- I saw it. - Well, honey.

It isn't there now. Who do you suppose took it?

There was no one in the house, except..

Oh, no, no, she didn't do it.

Well, uh, you said yourself you saw it there yesterday.

Kenny, she's too nice. She wouldn't steal money.

Well, yeah, but she stole that blouse, remember?

Maybe it was that man she was with.

Well, in any case, you're gonna have to talk to Val about it.

Me? Oh. Why don't you talk to Gary about it?

[sighs]

Well, look, maybe it wasn't enough money to get

all excited about. How much was in there anyway?

Two-hundred dollars.

[instrumental music]

- Uh.. - What?

Isn't this chicken kind of dry?

Yeah, but, Gary, it was, it was in the oven

extra half hour, you know, while..

- Oh, yeah. Right. - Yeah.

[chuckles]

Where is your mother?

- I don't know. - I wonder what happened to her.

It really isn't like her not to call.

Well, I'll tell you, Gary, when you've known her as long

as I have, you just get used to it.

Oh.

You get it. I'm afraid to know.

[laughs] Okay.

[music continues]

[door opens]

- Kenny! Come on in. - Hi, Gary.

- Is Lilimae here? - No.

Oh.

Well, um

'I'm sure it's nothing.'

What's the matter, Kenny? Is that mom?

I'm sure it's nothing. Uh..

What do you know about this Jackson Mobley?

Um, not much. Why?

Well, there's some money missing at our house.

- Mama's in trouble. - Yeah, honey.

Yeah, we don't think she took it.

We were just wondering about Mobley.

You know, she's in trouble, Gary. I just know it.

- You want me to call police? - No. You can't.

She's already on probation for shoplifting.

Oh. Hey, look, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to start this.

Uh, well, look, I better go over to Jackson's house

and see if they're there.

Yeah, you want me to come along?

Yeah, why don't you? Uh, honey.

- Just stay by the phone. - Yeah.

[crickets chirping]

[door shuts]

- 'Oh, here we go.' - 'Don't say that..'

- 'Snake eyes again.' - 'Telling you.'

- 'Well, what are you gonna do?' - 'The luck has changed.'

Go ahead. Keep you..

Look at this, a right eight. Don't worry about it.

- Sorry, buddy. - Yeah.

[door opens]

Her suitcases are gone with most of her things.

And they never heard of him at that house.

You know, maybe you oughta call the police.

I mean, who knows who this Jackson is?

Oh!

If she is alright, I'm gonna k*ll her.

[telephone ringing]

- Hello? - It's me, sweet pea. Mama.

Where are you? I have been worried sick!

I couldn't call any sooner. We just got off the bus.

- Well, what bus? - Ha-ha-ha..

Isn't it exciting?

I'm at the Alhambra Hotel, Las Vegas!

Las Vegas?

Jackson and I are gonna be married here

and then we're going on to Nashville.

What?

Now don't try and talk me out of it, sugar.

My mind's made up. I just wanted to let you know I was alright.

I'll call you from Nashville

when I'm Mrs. Jackson Mobley.

Okay, but, mama, he's a crook. He has stolen money, and they..

Oh, she hung up.

[receiver clanks]

[rattling]

[indistinct chatter]

I told Val we were getting married.

She sounded like an old wet hen.

[chuckles] Did you get us our room?

Uh, not yet, honeybunch.

I thought I'd like to do a little gambling first.

Well, you go ahead, sugar, but I'd like to freshen up.

So why don't we register first?

Well, okay, sugar pie

but we're gonna have to use your credit card.

They don't take money.

My credit card? I don't have a credit card.

Oh, no use for them, huh? Well, I don't blame you.

I prefer cash myself.

It's just that I'm getting a little low.

Is that why you wanted to gamble first

so you could raise money for the room?

Oh, now don't worry about it, sugar pie.

I'm a good gambler and I'll win it all back

if you could just lend me $50.

What, didn't you bring any money with you?

Well, I lost most of it on the crap game at the bus.

Oh, you're a great gambler, alright.

Honey, I'm sorry to get us off on the wrong foot like this.

And I promise you, we won't be living off your money forever.

But if you could just stake us to a room and some chips for me

I'll win it all back in no time.

I can tell you we won't be living off my money forever.

Oh, no, we won't. I don't believe in that.

I wouldn't count myself no kind of a man

unless I could support a wife. It's just that..

Jackson, you might as well know now as later.

I'm poor as a church mouse.

But you're a Ewing.

I told you my daughter married a Ewing.

Well, can't you call her?

Well, she isn't exactly that kind of Ewing.

Besides, I'd rather die than ask her for money.

[sighs]

Now, Jackson Mobley, you're just gonna have to use

that talent of yours as an artist manager to get me a gig.

Lilimae, I've got another confession to make.

What?

I've never worked a day

as an artist manager in my life.

What?

It was just a tall tale, like all the rest of it.

You mean you were telling me all those things

because you thought I was rich?

You were hustling me?

[laughing]

And I was trying to impress you.

[laughing]

And I was conning you.

[both laughing]

Yes, we are a couple of old fools

who got exactly what we deserved.

[both laughing]

[sighs]

Laura, y-you hung my jacket up with the wrong trousers.

[Richard] 'Look at this, I-I mean, there's no point'

'in spending a lot of money on clothes'

'if you're gonna treat 'em like rags.'

[exhales sharply]

Richard, you're the one that

hung them over the back of the chair.

Yes, but neatly, along the crease.

Did you get my Armani jacket from the cleaners?

Gee, no, I didn't.

You know, you told me you'd pick it up.

I got an important meeting tomorrow.

I was counting on wearing that jacket.

It's not in there.

[dramatic music]

[chuckles] What are you doing?

Hey. Hey, look, will you stop it?

- Hey, just stop it, will you? - Richard, Richard, I'm through!

I'm so sick of you blaming me and using me!

I'm just, I am so tired of taking it

and taking it and taking it and taking it and taking it.

- I can't stand it anymore! - S-stop! Stop!

Ah..

[door slams]

[door shuts]

[instrumental music]

[trunk shuts]

[door opens]

[door shuts]

- Where are you going? - Las Vegas, to look for mama.

We've been trying to reach her by phone all night.

She's not registered in any hotel, so we're gonna

have to fly out there and try and find her.

Well, Gary, tonight it's father's night.

I'm sorry, Abby, this is more important.

[sighs] Olivia's been counting on it.

I'm sorry, Abby, but you know

how my mama's always getting in trouble.

This time she's run off with a thief.

She says she's gonna marry him.

Uh, we'll be back as soon as possible.

But do you think there's any chance

you'll be back by tonight?

I don't know, Ab.

Oh, I hope so. Olivia will be so disappointed.

I'm sorry, Abby.

[engine revving]

[sighs]

[Lilimae] 'We can't go in there looking like'

we spent the night in a casino even if we did.

Maybe we should pawn your autoharp for a bus ticket--

Uh, we'll do no such thing.

Now you're gonna go in there and do exactly

what I tell you to do.

But he'll laugh me right out of the office.

He won't, because he'll be too busy listening to you.

But an, an autoharp in the Sidewinder Lounge in Las Vegas?

It'll never work.

Now, Jackson, you do have faith

in me as a singer, don't you?

Or was that all a fib, too?

Oh, you've got talent. I'm sure of that.

And you are a silver-tongued devil

who can talk the worms right out of the ground.

Now go on.

It'll be easy as falling off a log.

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

No, Mr. Mobley, uh

I don't think the Sidewinder Lounge is quite ready

for, uh, Lilimae and her autoharp.

I know if you heard her, you'd change your mind.

She has a rare talent that's truly incredible.

Look, I really don't have the time. I'm sorry.

I think you'd be very surprised.

Mr. Mobley

people come to Vegas to be excited.

They want glitter, they want skin.

They don't want a singing granny.

Mr. Carson, you look like a decent man.

- Do you have a wife? - Yes.

- Do you love her? - Yes, I do.

And I think you'll understand when I tell you

that Lilimae and I have been married for 32 years.

That's a long time to be in love.

Mr. Carson, my wife is terminal

and we're trying to make the most of what time we have left.

You see, Lilimae has always had this dream

of singing in a Las Vegas show.

Now, you wouldn't deny a dying woman

her last chance to have her dream come true, would you?

Singing granny.

[harp music]

♪ 'Twas in the merry month of May ♪

♪ When flowers were a-blooming ♪

♪ Sweet William on his deathbed lay ♪

♪ For the love of Barbara Allen ♪

♪ Slowly she got up ♪

♪ And slowly she went nigh him ♪

♪ And all she said when she got there ♪

♪ Young man I think you're dying ♪

[male #1] 'Hey! Hey, Mercer, where's my check?'

♪ Buried Willy ♪

Bloody, all night waiting for my lousy check!

Shh!

Ah, yeah. Three bucks for a lousy drink.

They don't even bring you your check.

Quiet!

That is my mama up there.

- Your mama? - Yeah.

♪ In the old churchyard ♪

♪ Until they could get no higher ♪

♪ They leapt and tied ♪

♪ In a true lover's knot ♪

♪ The red rose round ♪

♪ The briar ♪♪

[all cheering]

[applauding]

[indistinct chatter]

[applauding]

[man whistling]

Mama! Oh, that was really beautiful!

Sugar, what are you doing here?

Are you kidding? We have been worried sick.

It was very nice, Lilimae.

[Valene] 'Now, what did you do? Are you married yet?'

[Lilimae] 'Uh, no, honey, we're not married.'

Uh, e-excuse me, sugarplum. Uh..

But, mama..

Jackson. Jackson.

Uh, Jackson.

Oh, forgive me, Lilimae.

The best thing for you is for me to get out of your life.

Without even saying goodbye?

I didn't think you'd ever wanna see me again.

Oh.

So you told some tall tales.

Well, I've told my share, too

much as I hate to admit it.

Well, I stole some money from your neighbor

to get us here, $200.

Oh.

Well, you also got me this gig.

I'll pay them back with the money I made.

Lilimae, when I first met you

I thought you were my meal ticket.

I thought if I played my cards right

I could retire in style.

But somewhere along the way I really fell in love with you.

[Jackson] 'Now, I don't blame you if you don't believe'

'another word I say.'

But I swear, that's the truth.

I believe you, Jackson

because I know what I feel in my own heart.

I'm not the marrying kind.

Oh.

You don't have to explain to me, Jackson. I understand.

We're quite a couple, aren't we?

[chuckles] Indeed we are.

I'll tell you what?

You take my magic talisman. It's always been lucky.

You keep it for me, and someday I'll come back

and we'll really go to Nashville.

You got yourself a deal.

Ta-da! Ha-ha..

[chuckles] Oh, don't you two look like something?

There won't be another couple there that can

hold a candle to either one of you.

Well, now, uh, thank you for your vote of confidence, ma'am.

- Oh, I wish we could go. - Oh, so do I.

I think you look wonderful as a magician.

Yeah, well, sorry. It's fathers only tonight. Right, sweetheart?

Yeah, but when we get home

we'll do a special performance just for you.

[Abby] Oh, alright. Hi.

Well, I-I thought it was fathers only tonight.

Oh, it is, but I'm serving dessert.

[eerie music]

See, honey, we're just like a real family.

Don't worry, honey, we won't be late.

Okay.

[engine starts]

[engine revving]

I'd look out for that man of mine if I were you.

So now you're gonna start giving me advice about men?

You got a good thing going here, Valene.

You gotta protect your dream.

[sighs] I'm sorry that things didn't work out with Jackson, ma.

Oh. Don't you go feeling sorry for me, sugar.

I wasn't ready to settle down.

Well, I think you're taking it very well.

And I'm real proud of you.

Sugar, I had a ball.

Besides, now I can add

Sidewinder Lounge, Las Vegas, to my resume.

In show business we call it "Good for the bio."

Oh, mama, you are the silliest.

[laughs]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]