03x19 - Gloria Comes Home: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

[music plays]

Don't eat too fast, now.

Gloria: Joey!

Joey, honey, did you have breakfast yet?

Mrs. Canby made it for me.

Good.

Do you have to go to work today?

Yeah, I promised Grandpa that I would.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure. sh**t.

When can we go home?

Uh, honey,

this is our home now.

No, it's not. It's Grandpa's place. And I don't like it.

Aw, Joey.

Grandpa's just trying to be nice to us,

and we should be grateful.

You'll get used to the smell of his cigars.

I still don't like it here.

Do you?

Sure I do. I grew up in this house.

Oh, honey, you are going to feel so much better

when you start school.

When?

Monday.

And over the weekend, we'll go out

and we'll get you all-new school supplies.

We'll get you a peashooter and a slingshot.

We'll even get you an apple with a worm in it for the teacher.

Won't that be fun?

No.

Oh, honey, you know, you won't be able to take this to school with you.

Oh, I'll take that, Mom. I'll get it out of your way.

I'll bring it over with me.

Joey, I know what that bag means to you.

I know what's in there.

Really?

Sure, I do. And it's all right.

No kidding.

It's all right, honey.

It's perfectly natural to carry your father around with you.

Who?

You know, like sand and little shells and little toys

and whatever else you've got in there.

See? I understand.

It reminds you of your dad and all the things you had to leave behind in California.

But you won't be able to take that to school with you.

You'll have to leave it home, okay?

Mrs. Canby, I'm leaving.

Don't you want some breakfast?

Oh, no thanks.

Well, have a good day.

Joey and I might take a walk later.

Oh, great.

Listen, while you're out,

would you please stop by a florist

and pick up a new Mother-in-Law's Tongue?

This one looks bitten.

Sure. We'll do that.

Okay, you guys have a good day.

You be good for Mrs. Canby, and I'll see you later.

Oh, Joey, don't forget to put Grandpa's chair back.

I'm going up to close some windows, then we'll go, okay?

Sure.

Murphy,

the reason you're not feeling good

is because you're not eating.

Maybe you'll like the new plant better.

Archie: Harry!

You know we was robbed.

I know. Take it easy, Arch.

You know who robbed us?

The customers.

The customers, I know.

You told Gloria to clear out the storeroom yesterday.

She took all the cartons and put 'em in the john.

Well, why didn't you tell her

that the john is no place for the toilet paper?

When she comes in here now, don't you yell at her!

I ain't gonna yell at her, and please, don't nobody...

Arch. Arch.

...tell her that she done nothing wrong.

Hiya, everybody.

- Oh, hi, there, Gloria. Hi. - Hi.

Who you talking about?

I'm gonna be in the storeroom.

Hi, there, Gloria.

Hi.

Who are you talking about?

[stammers] Now? Chuck's wife.

Chuck's wife. Chuck who?

Chuck's wife is the wife of Chuck of Chuck's Meats.

See, what they done was they sent us over Chuck's round

instead of Chuck's chuck.

So, you know, I just have to check with Chuck.

Oh, gee. That's too bad.

Well, I am ready to start a fresh new day.

Oh!

Hey, Daddy, how'd you like what I did

with the cartons of toilet paper

and paper towels?

Oh, you mean putting them all in the john there, huh?

Yeah, 'cause, see, that way, I thought then that if they ran out,

the customers could help themselves.

Yeah, well, I gotta tell you the truth.

Honey, that's just what they done, you know.

They helped themselves to all of it

and took it home.

Oh, gee. Daddy,

I never figured that people would steal toilet paper.

Well, even nowadays it's a terrible popular item.

[clicks tongue]

Ah, here. A cup of coffee?

No, thanks. Oh, Daddy, I am so sorry.

Would you please take that out of my salary?

No, no, no. I wouldn't think of that.

Hey, forget about that.

I got something very important for you to do today.

Now, I was just telling Veronica...

She was telling... What was that?

[stutters] Yes, he wanted you to, you know, call the supply houses

to order more paper towels and more toilet paper before the noon rush.

Yeah. Order before the noon rush.

Okay. How would I do that?

Ah, you phone.

Yeah, in the office, where the phone is,

you'll find the number in the rolo-decky.

Okay. Would that be under "S" for supplies?

No, that's under "J." For terlet.

Oh, "J" for terlet.

You got some nerve putting me on the spot like that.

- Lucky for you I am fast on my feet. - Will you please try to...

Nix, nix, nix.

Oh, honey, you couldn't have did that already.

I didn't have to. Harry already phoned.

That was not your job!

Sorry.

Come on, Gloria, let's you and me get to work on them menus.

Come on.

Yes. Oh, Gloria,

let's you and her get to work on them menus.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Now, listen, it's gonna work out.

Who said it wasn't?

Here I am.

And here you are.

Listen, Gloria, I really need your advice.

[speaking Spanish]

[laughs] They're just showing off.

They never understand me.

[sniffs] Mmm!

Oh, that's seafood bisque working there.

And over there is the fixings for stuffed cabbage.

A-ha.

Listen, you got any good ideas for next week?

Yes, I do.

I suggest we do a sushi appetizer

with Shabu Shabu,

and then perhaps a Mahi Mahi entree,

with a side dish of Arroz Con Queso.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Well, that sounds kind of, um...

Kind of...

Ridiculous?

No, no. It's just...

I don't know. You know, a little fancy.

Come on, Veronica.

It's bad enough I have to play these games with Daddy.

Do I have to play 'em with you, too?

[telephone ringing]

Hey, kid, you're the boss's daughter.

Yeah, and that's a lousy thing to be.

It's better than being the boss's cook.

Hey, Gloria, telephone.

For me?

Harry: It's Mrs. Canby.

Is something wrong with Joey?

What is it, Mrs. Canby?

Murphy?

We didn't bring Murphy to New York.

Well, where was it?

In the duffel bag.

What did the kid have in the duffel bag?

A Murphy.

- A Murphy? - Yeah.

What's a Murphy?

A Murphy's a bed.

Please!

Oh, poor Joey. He must be totally freaked.

I'll be right there, Mrs. Canby, okay?

I've got to get to the doctor!

The doctor? He had a crocodile in that duffel bag.

No.

Well, what the hell was it? A giant tarantulum?

No, Murphy is a tortoise.

A tortoise. What's a tortoise?

A tortoise is a turtle. A turtle.

That can't be right.

Look it up.

[inaudible]

I don't think anyone's here.

Well, someone's gotta be here.

The door's open and it's office hours.

Maybe it's Sunday.

Oh, don't be silly. You know it's Saturday.

Take it easy. Those are very delicate instruments.

Take it easy.

You're working against me, Ben.

You're pulling against me, George.

Watch it! Watch it!

You dropped it!

Why the hell did I hire you?

Because we're the only two guys in Dutchess County

who'll work for a crab like you.

I knew there had to be some compelling reason.

Could you please open the door for us?

Use your butt.

Can't you be careful?

Yeah, like how?

Well, just make believe it's a case of Muscatel.

No, we're closed, lady, we're closed.

Are you Dr. Davis?

Certainly not.

Well, then, where is he?

He's retired. I bought his equipment.

And he's in Florida on his honeymoon.

Mom, we've gotta do something.

What's your problem, son?

It's Murphy. He's wheezing.

He's wheezing?

Well, I'd wheeze too if I was in that bag.

What is Murphy, a cat?

No, he's a desert tortoise.

- Oh... - What're we gonna do, Mom?

We've gotta find a vet.

Well, come on, honey, we'll find a telephone book somewhere.

No, no, hold it, hold it. You've found your vet.

I am Dr. Adams.

- Oh. - I want that bag.

Give me the bag, I'm a doctor.

Give him the bag, honey.

That's right. Let's see what we've got here.

Oh, yeah.

Oh. I tell you. Do something for me, would you?

Stay in the other room and take care of it.

Take care of the office. Anybody comes in,

tell them we're closed permanently.

You do what he says, honey, and I'll...

...be right out.

Now, let's see what we have.

Woo, woo.

Would you tell me

what in God's name you are doing

with a desert tortoise 3,000 miles from his home?

Well, I didn't know Joey brought him.

Well, do you know this is an endangered species,

and it's against the law to own one?

Where did you buy this?

Oh, I didn't.

Joey's father found Murphy in the Mojave Desert.

Where he's lived happily for millions of years.

So you decide that you're smarter than Mother Nature,

and you move him all the way here

to New York City.

I didn't decide anything.

You're not listening to me.

See, Joey was supposed to leave Murphy

in Santa Barbara.

He wouldn't have survived in Santa Barbara, either.

Why do you think they call this a desert tortoise?

Is he still wheezing?

He stopped.

Oh, good.

Then will he be all right?

Only if he's lived without sin,

and if there's a hereafter for tortoises.

Did he die?

Uh-huh. Within the hour, honey.

Are you sure?

Well, lady,

I've been practicing veterinary medicine

for 40 years,

and I guarantee you one thing:

I know dead.

What am I gonna do?

Well, I advise you to bury him again.

I couldn't.

I'll take care of him.

Say goodbye.

Goodbye.

It's beautiful.

[sniffling]

What are we going to do with Joey?

Don't worry about it.

I'll take him up to the country

and I'll bury him tomorrow.

No, Joey's my son. That was Murphy.

Well, that makes a tremendous difference.

How am I going to tell Joey?

Kids are smart.

Joey will figure it out himself when he...

When he sees that the bag is empty.

- Thank you. - All right.

[sobbing]

No, don't. No, don't cry.

Don't cry, you know.

You'll make it twice as hard for poor little Murphy.

Joey! Murphy's in the drawer.

We'll be right out, Murphy. Uh.

Please, don't cry. Huh?

I can't help it.

Murphy is dead.

And Joey hates the city, and I don't have a real job,

and Michael and I are separated.

Do you know where he is right now?

- Who? - Michael.

No.

He's on a commune, standing in line,

waiting to take a shower with the homecoming queen.

He's gotta be happier than you are.

[sobbing] I'm sorry.

I shouldn't be bothering you with this.

No, no. I'm sorry.

Would you like a cup of cold coffee?

Oh, no. I couldn't, with a dead tortoise in the room.

But I would like a Kleenex.

- A what? - A Kleenex.

Here you are.

Try that.

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

Thank you.

Poor, poor, poor little Murphy.

Now, uh, do you love all animals,

or just tortoises?

Oh, I love 'em all.

Especially dogs.

I bought a dog when we were in Santa Barbara.

Michael made me take him back.

I should've kept the dog and taken Michael back.

Well, you know the best thing about working with animals?

They take your mind off people, huh?

Well, I know they're very sweet,

and I know they're very grateful.

They're very grateful, and they make wonderful patients.

They never ask for a second opinion.

That's what I should've been.

A vet.

That's interesting.

Uh...

are you sure you don't want a cup of coffee?

Well, maybe half a cup.

Take mine.

Thank you.

I shouldn't have dug him out of the ground.

Oh, honey, you didn't mean to hurt him.

I'm sure gonna miss him.

Yeah, I'm gonna miss him, too.

More than you miss Daddy?

Mom?

Joey, I don't wanna answer any more questions right now, okay?

Can I ask you just one more?

[sighs]

[clears throat] Well, okay.

When are you gonna tell Grandpa that we're not gonna live here?

Well, I thought you and I would tell him together, tonight at dinner.

What's he gonna say?

[exhales]

What do you think?

I think I'll tell Billie and Stephanie.

You can tell Grandpa.

[laughing]

Archie, would you like some apple pie?

I brought some home from the restaurant.

Oh, hey, I'd love a big hunk of apple pie, you know.

But I ain't gonna eat none of that.

I'm gonna lay off desserts for a while.

Why?

Hey, little girl,

if you're gonna be around cooking delicious meals like this,

no desserts for me.

Huh?

What, what, what?

Nothing. I was just getting up to do the dishes.

I'll help.

I've never seen you so quick to be doing dishes.

I'm turning over a new leaf.

Oh, yeah?

And what are you doing?

I'm turning, too.

Is something going on?

Daddy.

Joey and I are leaving.

You're what?

I got a job.

I'm going to be working for a doctor.

Up at Fox Ridge.

There's nobody up there to take care of you.

Nobody but me! And that's what I want.

You ain't never done that before in your life.

I mean, first it was me, then it was Michael, now it's me again!

Not you, me. I'm gonna take care of me.

Honey, listen to me. If it was only you on your own,

I'd be willing to take a chance on you.

But who's gonna take care of my grandson, there?

I am.

While you're working?

I told you. I am.

Gloria, look, look... Please!

Daddy, please.

It's all arranged. It's done.

Is this on the level?

Yeah, on the level.

No. You're leaving here because you can't stand it here.

No, no, no!

Oh, no, no. You hate it here. That's all.

All right. You hate it.

I ain't gonna make you stay no place where you hate it.

Fox Ridge...

And wait till you hit winter way up in the country there.

And the snow is up to your crotch.

I will be okay.

Hey, listen, it's hard living alone.

I'm not gonna be alone.

I've got Joey.

And we're gonna do fine.

I guess you take after me.

Once you got your mind made up.

Well, isn't that nice?

Not in a girl. No.

Oh, Daddy.

[sighs]

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Ah, don't gimme that "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy" stuff.

Ah!

All right. How you gonna go up there?

The bus.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't go up there on a bus.

I'll get Harry's truck

and I'll drive the two of youse up there.

Hey, listen, though, you gotta do me a favor, huh?

Sure, what?

Get rid of that duffel bag, there, huh?

Don't please buy the kid no more pets, they're dangerous.

Don't let him get involved with animals.

[laughing]

Did I say something funny here?

Yes.

I mean, what did I say? What did I say?

What the hell is going on?

I don't know what's going on around me no more.

I can't get through.

[laughing] I love you.

[music playing]