02x17 - A Tale of Three Parties

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Come on!

It's picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ Really Loud house ♪

[upbeat music]

- Candy Slam, guys!

- This is gonna be epic.

- Heck yeah. - That's right, boys.

Because tonight, we're the only game in town.

- Yee-haw! [indistinct chatter]

- What are you doing?

- We're decorating for our masquerade party.

- Mm-hmm, and then after the party,

we're all going to go to the midnight premiere.

- But we have our Candy Slam tournament tonight.

- That's so sick!

[spooky dramatic music]

all: What are you doing?

- We're having our Blood Moon Festival tonight.

- Look, we are all smart, level-headed people.

I'm sure that we can handle this in a mature manner.

Daddy!

[overlapping chatter]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, one at a time.

- We literally reserved the house weeks ago.

- What do you guys need it for?

- A masquerade premiere party.

- Ooh, fancy. And you guys?

- Candy Slam.

all: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

- Ooh, fun.

And, uh, you?

- Blood Moon Festival.

We'll be communing with the dead.

- Say hi to Grandma for me.

And what about you two?

- I'll be cleaning my beakers.

- I'm throwing a ball against the wall and catching it.

- Maybe you two would like to attend

one of your siblings' events?

- What's your thing again?

- It's a Timothée Chalamet themed masquerade party

where the guests disguise themselves.

And if your true identity is revealed, you're out.

The last person to remain a mystery,

AKA me, wins the Masquerade Cup.

- Yeah, that's a no for me.

- Just as well. You'd never win.

- OK, for the last time, we need it here.

[overlapping chatter]

- I have made my decision.

We are going to have all three events here at the house.

both: We are having a Loud house triple-decker party!

[all cheering]

- Whoo-hoo.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey. What's the holdup?

- Yeah, Lincoln. Where's your partner?

- Don't worry. He'll be here.

[rock music]

- Who's ready to lose?

[oohs and ahs]

[snaps fingers]

- Hudson used to be the neighborhood mama's boy.

Then he launched off the biggest bike ramp

Royal Woods has ever seen.

Now he's simply known as "Mad Man."

And his newfound confidence is gonna carry us to victory.

- I've already planned our victory dance.

I call it the Mad Man Shuffle.

all: Go, Mad Man! Go, Mad Man! Go, Mad Man!

- [shouts]

[all groan]

Mommy!

- We'll call her right away. Hang in there, Mad Man.

- You lost your partner.

You're out, my friend. - What?

- Them's the rules.

all: Ooh.

- Not so fast, Sweet Potato.

[dramatic music]

all: Ah.

- I can find a substitute.

- All I'm hearing is you're out now.

[all cheering]

- [posh British accent] It's time for the games to commence.

[cheers and applause]

And if you need to use the loo,

it's upstairs right next to me bedroom.

I mean--[chuckles] I don't live here.

I live in a secret kingdom far away from Leni's bedroom.

all: Leni!

- Oh, crikey.

- One down.

- [normally] I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom.

I know where it is.

- This meeting will commence by acknowledging those members

who are sadly not with us.

Bertrand is at Dollywood

and Persephone is getting her braces tightened.

- I brought an offering from my ancestors.

[spooky music]

- Oh, eggs of the devil.

- I will partake.

♪ ♪

- Well, deviled eggs. My grandma made them.

♪ ♪

[liquid bubbling]

- Now to open the gates to the underworld,

we must utter our sacred chant.

[all chanting together]

♪ ♪

[all chanting cheerfully]

♪ ♪

- [vocalizing]

[stomach grumbles]

Deviled egg alert. I need to go.

[flatulence] - Sigh.

- , .

- Lynn, what are you doing? - .

I'm training for baseball season.

I got to throw this against the wall

and catch it a thousand times.

- Well, I kind of have a contest to win.

- I have a baseball championship to win.

, .

- Lynn, look at me.

[soft dramatic music]

- One,

two, three... - Ugh!

- Four.

♪ ♪

- Lincoln, you're almost up.

- Excuse me.

Does anyone here like playing cards?

[toilet flushes] Does anybody here like candy?

- I like candy.

- [sighs] You're my new partner.

Follow me.

- You know, I'm not very good at games

or, you know, talking to people.

- You got winner written all over you.

- Really?

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

- Is my mom here yet?

- She's on her way, Mad Man.

♪ ♪

- Good luck.

- The blood moon is rising.

Where's Dante?

[suspenseful music]

- OK, Dante, we need a three.

And I know you're a beginner,

so I'm only gonna bet one piece of candy.

- Oh, dice that are nice, please roll and be thrice.

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

W-w-was that good?

[oohs and ahs]

- We're all-in.

all: Candy Slam! Candy Slam! Candy Slam!

[stately orchestral music]

- [posh British accent] Goodness, I'm so sorry

to hear about the passing of your polo pony.

And what, pray tell, did you say her name was?

- [posh British accent] Oh, um, well, uh,

we called her, um, Margarita due to her salty disposition.

[laughter]

- Marga-rita, you say?

- Why, yes.

- Interesting that you would name the pony

after yourself, Rita Loud.

- Ugh!

- [normally] Ha-ha! You're out! [chuckles]

[posh British accent] What a pity!

- Lynn Loud.

- Oh, I hate this game.

- This is simply too easy.

♪ ♪

- Is this the loser's punch?

- Mm.

[thumping]

I'm gonna have to replace the siding.

Again.

♪ ♪

[all gasp] - Who's that?

- I don't know.

- Ooh, a mystery guest. - [gasps]

- [French accent] Bonsoir. [all gasping]

- [French accent] I was strolling down

the Champs-Elysées with Léa Seydoux

and I asked her, "Shall we stop for some brie?"

And she said, "Oui, oui."

[laughter]

- That story had everything.

Cheese, rhyming, French words.

- Maybe she's the new French foreign exchange student.

[laughter and chatter]

Maybe it's Sophie Etienne.

She's Timothée Chalamet's love interest

in "Moonlight Masquerade."

- She certainly does command a room.

- [posh British accent] What's so captivating about her?

She's literally totes boring.

all: Lori.

- [normally] You can't guess. You're out.

[wondrous music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

Juggling. How pedestrian.

[oohs and ahs]

[flowing classical music]

[posh British accent] Cello. What a snob.

♪ ♪

- That was so moving.

- Any requests?

- Oh, "Free Bird!" [cheers and applause]

- You're k*lling it, Dante.

- Yeah! - Yeah, he is!

- I need Dante back.

[all scream]

- No chance. He's on a roll.

But here's a little something for your troubles.

- The blood moon is nearly at its zenith,

and I'm one soul short for my ritual.

Dante, let's go.

- Dante! Dante!

all: Dante! Dante! Dante! - People are chanting my name!

all: Dante!

- Look, why don't we trade you someone?

You take Rusty.

- You can't trade me.

[dramatic music]

all: Ooh.

- Well, you can't make me go.

- Oh, really?

[dramatic musical sting] - Ah!

- All right, next hand. [all cheer]

- I don't want to go.

I want to stay at the Candy Slam.

- Oh, is there an open spot at the Candy Slam?

That would be so sick!

- Cool tiger mask.

- [snarls playfully]

- Come on. - No, stop it.

- Bobby, you are not going to the Candy Slam.

- You know who I am. That means I'm out!

- You are not out. You are in!

Plus, they're about to start the ballroom dancing.

And we have been practicing for weeks, stranger.

[dramatic music]

- [groans]

[all chanting]

- [chanting out of rhythm]

[chanting deeply]

Dude.

- When can we get Dante back?

- We can't open the gates of the underworld with a baritone.

- We lost Dante to the Candy Slam.

- What's Candy Slam?

- It's a lot cooler than this.

all: Ooh.

- Focus.

[chanting]

[stomach growls]

[all chanting together]

- Those deviled eggs are giving me the tummy tumbles.

[stomach growls]

[flatulence]

- Bobby!

- It's OK, babe.

I'm just grabbing a drink.

- OK, but the dance contest starts soon.

So don't wander off.

- Got it, got it.

Ooh, juicy box!

[tense musical sting] [Bobby gasps]

Oh, last juice box.

You don't seem like a mixed berry guy.

- Can you point me to the chamber of wretch?

- Sorry, I don't speak goth.

- Allow me to translate.

Where's the crapper, brah?

- Oh, come on, freaky little guy.

I'll show ya. - Thank you.

- Hey, do you dance?

[glass ringing] - Everyone!

The dance competition starts in five minutes.

[cheers and applause]

- Whoa, Liam, not so fast.

Rusty's gone. You're out.

You don't have a partner.

- That's where you're wrong, partner.

[dramatic Western music]

[all gasp]

- While you all assumed

I was pathetically cleaning my beakers,

I've been studying the intricacies

of your fructose-filled festivities.

I've devised a no-lose mathematical formula

that will take Liam and me to the sugary summit.

- That's right.

And we are bettin' the whole farm.

[all gasp]

♪ ♪

[dice clatter distantly] [music slows down and stops]

- Ahem.

all: Ooh.

- Shucks.

[cheers and applause]

- All right, down to the final four teams.

Let the drop dead round begin! [cheers and applause]

- Attention!

[thumping]

Oh, sorry, that's just my sister

throwing a baseball against the house.

Anyway, let the dance-off begin.

[cheers and applause]

[stately orchestral music]

Where is Bobby?

♪ ♪

Oh.

♪ ♪

[record needle scratches]

[energetic jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[gasping and laughter]

♪ ♪

[cash register rings]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Who is that mystery woman?

- I don't know.

But I know who her partner is, and he is in big trouble.

This was supposed to be our dance.

You are my boyfriend!

[dramatic music]

[gasps]

- Boyfriend?

Let me check with my mother.

I'll be back in a jiff.

- Wait. [chuckles]

If he's here, then where is Bobby?

- [gasps] C'est Lori!

[all gasp]

- [huffs]

- Au revoir. [blows kiss]

all: Candy blast! Down to the last two teams!

- [laughs] This is awesome!

- What happened?

- Well, these last two teams

are competing for allthe candy.

- Oh, that is so sick!

I've never really been to one of these before.

I worked a lot as a kid.

And you're not listening.

all: Candy blast! Down to the last two teams!

- [laughing] Teams!

- Open.

- [screams]

[inhales and continues screaming]

- That's the note you have to hit.

- You could have just asked me to sing higher.

- Is Boris back? We need to begin our chant.

[suspenseful music]

Hmm.

- All right, here we go. Here we go!

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music]

[overlapping chatter]

♪ ♪

[air horn blasting]

♪ ♪

- You forgot the most important rule:

don't mess with Lucy.

[tense musical sting]

I'll be back.

[upbeat spooky music]

♪ ♪

- Have you seen Bobby? - No.

Have you seen Lucy?

I want to finish this moon fest and get back to the Candy Slam.

[screams]

- No, I haven't seen-- [group chanting indistinctly]

all: Roll the dice and make a wish!

Chocolate, taffy, licorice! Roll the dice and make a wish!

- Oh, this is so sick! [laughter]

- Bobby! [huffs]

I want my boyfriend over here right now!

- This is all happening so fast.

But I'm crazy about you as well.

- [huffs] Let's go!

- I--I got it from here, bro.

- All right, here we go, here we go!

[all cheering]

- I'm sorry, babe.

It's just the candy and the games!

It's so-- - I know! It's so sick!

- Oh.

Yeah, well, it's actually--

[door slams]

- That was scary.

[suspenseful music]

- You know, I always thought Lucy was the scariest sister.

- Yeah. - But not anymore.

[tense musical sting]

[both shout]

- I just--I couldn't resist the Candy Slam.

How can I make it up to you?

- You can help me win the Masquerade Cup.

- But you're out of the contest.

- I'm out, but you're not.

[sighs] If you win, we win.

We're a team, Bobby. We've always been a team.

- That's actually so sick.

But how are we gonna beat that really cool mystery guest?

- She is not that great.

- [French accent] Pick a card, any card.

Do not tell me your card, but do tell me your name.

- Jeff.

Wait, no. Dang it!

- Merci for your cooperation, Jeff.

- Oh! [cheers and applause]

Magique! [cheers and applause]

[dramatic music]

- [exhales deeply] - You ready to win that cup?

- I've never been more ready.

- [squeals softly]

- We make such a good team!

- One roll for all the candy.

Who's it gonna be?

- I know we've only been together

for a little over an hour, but I can honestly say...

I love you, man.

- Thanks.

- [gasps]

- Normally you'd say I love you, too, but it's cool.

Now let's win that candy. [chuckles]

[exhales deeply]

Hey, where's Clyde?

[suspenseful music]

Wait, where's Liam and Zach?

Where are those guys?

- Attention, humans.

- Listen up, everyone!

It's time to unmask the winner and award the Masquerade Cup.

[suspenseful music]

- Not so fast! [all gasp]

There's still one contestant left.

[oohs and ahs]

[dramatic guitar music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Olé! ♪

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

[oohs and ahs]

♪ ♪

[excited murmuring]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Olé! ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Now that's my boyfriend.

- It is Bobby, n'est pas.

[all gasp]

- [groans]

- No!

- And we have a winner.

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music]

[all gasping]

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

- You see what happens when

you mess with the queen of darkness?

- What's going on? Where are my friends?

- Your friends are fine.

[switch clicks]

[electricity buzzing]

[ominous music]

- Why did you steal my friends?

- Because you stole mine.

- I didn't steal your friends.

They came to the Candy Slam because they wanted to.

♪ ♪

[somber music]

- They wanted to go because it was more fun.

- What?

No way! [chuckles]

More fun than this?

Our party wasn't that fun. Right, guys?

- Mm-mm.

- It really wasn't that great.

It was just a normal party.

- Exactly.

I'm going to middle school soon.

If my friends become normal, who will I eat lunch with?

Sometimes I can see the future.

[ethereal chimes]

♪ ♪

- Lincoln, say something.

- Lucy, middle school is...

the worst.

But everyone gets through it.

Clyde got called Four Eyes, got his lunch stolen,

got an atomic wedgie, and farted during a pop quiz.

- And that was just my first day.

- I would have k*lled for a first day like that.

- I'm sorry about the atomic wedgie.

- And I really should have taken credit for that fart.

- Middle school's gonna have its highs.

But it's also gonna have its lows.

- I'm still waiting on the highs.

- But you're gonna be fine.

As long as you stay true to who you are,

because you're Lucy Loud.

And you're awesome.

And if you'll untie me, I'll give you a hug.

both: Us, too!

- Bring it in.

- Good night.

- Thank you, everyone, for coming!

I'll see you in minutes at the premiere.

[door closes] - So how'd you do it?

- You told me I couldn't win, so I won.

- But when did you learn to play the cello?

- Remember that summer when Mom made us all learn an instrument

and everyone said if it didn't involve a ball,

I couldn't do it?

Well, I wanted to prove everybody wrong.

- And the juggling and magic?

- I went to Magic Camp with Luan

and no one thought I could do magic.

And I took that personal.

- And the dancing?

- Come on. You've seen me dance.

[thumping] - Wait, if you're here,

then who is throwing a ball against the house?

[door opens]

- Hey, way to go, Wes.

Thanks, man.

Buy yourself a new pair of tube socks.

[soft upbeat music]

- Wow.

Well, congratulations.

And your dress looks amazing.

- It's Leni's. But you're right.

- You can keep it if you'd like.

- No, that's OK. Not my style.

- OK.

Come on, Lori. [door opens]

[soft upbeat music]

[door closes]

♪ ♪

[oohs and ahs]

- All right, Dante, this is it for all the candy.

We need snake eyes to win.

Who's rolling, you or me?

- There's only one person I trust to win this game...

[dramatic suspenseful music]

Lucy.

[dramatic musical spike]

- We need snake eyes.

Now go win me that candy.

[dramatic orchestral music]

♪ ♪

[all gasp]

♪ ♪

[oohs and ahs]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[thudding echoes]

[cheers and applause]

all: Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

[upbeat ethereal vocalizing]

♪ ♪