02x14 - The Boyfriend Stays in the Picture

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Come on! It's picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ The really Loud house ♪

- Ow.

Looks like this is the end of the road, Magenta.

- We gave it our best shot.

But the robots are too powerful.

[dramatic music]

- Get your filthy metal feet off las cabezas de mis amigos.

[indistinct robotic speech]

Time to kick some ro-butt.

Beep, boop, bop!

You want some of this?

- Getting Bobby to play the lead in our film

was the best move we ever made.

- Who would have thought a humble stockboy

from the mercado would have so much star power?

Clyde and I have one scene left to film in our movie

before we deliver our film to the investor.

[computer chiming]

Ooh. And there he is now.

It's showtime.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Hello, Mr. Moneygreen.

- Call me Prescott. - Hello, Prescott.

- All right, let's cut the chitchat.

I promised you two gentlemen an enormous sum of money,

and yet I have not seen one frame of your film.

- Don't worry, Mr. Moneygreen.

We only have one more scene left to do.

- You only have one more day.

Tomorrow, I make a decision whether I invest in your movie

or in a man from Lansing who's taught a little wiener dog

how to play jazz piano.

- Ooh, interesting.

- We won't let you down, sir.

- I want that film on my desk by tomorrow at sundown.

- Why sundown?

- Why, indeed?

Make it noon.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I have a pressing meeting at the bottom of the sea.

I sing opera to the turtles.

[operatic singing]

- This is so exciting.

- Nothing could stop us now.

- Stop.

- Lana and I are trying to get our bedtime

pushed back an hour, and we need to figure out

the best way to ask Dad.

- Well, you're gonna wanna butter him up to make sure

he's in a good mood.

So I would recommend what I like to call

the club sandwich method.

- This is a good one.

- You butter him up in sections.

If you do it all at once,

he's gonna know you're up to something.

- We've just gotta come up with some compliments.

- What would be a good compliment to give Dad?

- Bobby and Lori!

- It's showtime!

♪ ♪

- Over the years, Lori and Bobby

have had some very entertaining squabbles,

and we've had a front row seat to all of them.

- It's your favorite color.

- My favorite color isn't sky blue.

It's baby blue.

- Fine.

If you don't like it, then maybe I'll just eat it, huh?

- Bobby, you are allergic to wool.

No, no, I love sky blue.

[muffled groaning]

Bobby, I'll wear it every day.

- But don't worry.

They're all bark and no bite.

- What are they fighting about?

- We haven't been able to deduce that yet,

but it looks like a good one.

- She keeps looking up at the sky and shaking her head.

Maybe they're arguing if it's gonna rain or not.

- Wait, wait, he's walking funny.

Maybe he wants to get surgery to have his knees removed.

- But she thinks it's a waste of money.

- It is.

- You guys got it all wrong.

He's mad at her because she always

makes him hold in his farts.

- Bobby's farts do smell.

I sit behind him on movie night.

[all chattering]

- He's telling her he's following his dream

to become one of those inflatable tube men outside

of a car dealership.

- Oh, maybe that was her dream.

- Oh. - It's fun.

- Does anybody read lips?

Oh, right, I read lips.

Dingo in the sand.

Madonna's hair is fire ants.

Whoa, this is serious.

Ooh, ooh, he's walking to his van.

- He's doing the classic I'm leaving,

but then he's gonna come back for a hug.

- That's his favorite move.

[soft tense music]

- Ah!

♪ ♪

- He left.

- What's going on?

- Why did he leave?

- Should we check on her? - What happened?

- [sobbing]

- Come on, come on.

- Get out of my way.

[dramatic music]

- Checkmate.

- [crying]

- Lori, are you okay?

- [sobbing incoherently]

- She says she broke up with Bobby,

and she can't believe he wouldn't stay and fight

for their relationship.

Oh, right.

I don't read lips.

I speak cry talk, duh.

Hey, Lori, it's Leni.

Do you mind if I come in for a minute?

- [sobbing incoherently]

- Okay.

- She doesn't wanna talk to you?

- No, she does.

She just wants ice cream first.

- [sobbing incoherently]

- With sprinkles.

- [sobbing incoherently]

- Sorry, with rainbow sprinkles.

[applause]

- [sobbing incoherently]

- What'd she say?

- [sobbing incoherently]

Oh, you guys don't speak cry talk, duh.

She bought Bobby this really nice pair of pants,

but he refuses to wear them because

he doesn't like the style.

He said they're "too tight."

I'm gonna need more ice cream.

And I'm going back in.

- Hey, what's going on up here?

- What's going on here?

Because you look ravishing.

- Maximum ravish.

- Oh. Well, I have cut out dairy.

- Lori and Bobby broke up.

- The dispute seems to be pants related.

- Oh, young love.

- Remember when we were first together?

Oh, every little thing felt like the end of the world.

- This too shall pass.

- You are as smart as you are handsome.

- Maximum smartage.

- Well, they'll figure it out, just like we did.

- Yeah.

- They better figure it out.

We have one day to sh**t our final scene with Bobby.

No Bobby, no movie.

- Bobby and I have broken up.

So out of respect for me, I forbid anyone in this family

to see or speak to him.

- For how long?

- Maybe forever.

- [sobbing] Why did Lori have to buy those tight pants?

- Calm down, Clyde.

I don't speak cry talk.

All right, here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna call Mr. Moneygreen and tell him

we need more time to deliver our movie.

- Do you think the jazz playing wiener dog

is asking for more time?

- Well, what else are we gonna do?

We're just gonna walk in there and say, hey, Lori,

we know you're in a huge fight, but can Bobby sh**t

one last scene of our film?

Wait a minute, that might actually work.

We could show her our movie.

- We could cut her in on some of the back-end profits.

- Or we could give her a free T-shirt.

- We don't have T-shirts yet.

- Last glass of lemonade.

Wanna split it? - Yes, I do.

- Oh, it was so nice to see all the kids rallying

around Lori today, huh? - Oh, yeah.

In two weeks, those lovebirds will be back together,

and they won't even remember what they were fighting about.

- Two weeks?

Bobby will probably apologize tomorrow.

- Why would Bobby apologize?

- Because Lori gave him a very thoughtful gift,

and he was not very gracious.

- What was he supposed to do, say he liked

the pants when he hated them?

- Yes.

- Once we show her "Robot Wars,"

she's totally gonna say we can see Bobby.

- What are you two doing?

- We're going to talk to Lori.

- She doesn't wanna talk to you.

She only wants to be with us.

- Trust me, once she hears what we're offering,

she's gonna wanna talk to us.

- Okay, have fun.

- We will.

Lori?

- Knock-knock!

- Ah!

- How did that go for you?

- Oh. - At least she kept the movie.

- We don't need Bobby.

I'm sure our second choice is just as good.

- What's up?

I'm Patrick, no last name, '",

and I'm represented by my mom, Carol, also no last name.

Get your filthy metal feet offlos cabezas de mis amigos.

Time to kick some ro-butt.

Beep, boop.

Line?

- Bop.

The line is beep, boop, bop.

This guy was not good.

- No, he was not.

[car horn honks] - Mom, I'm filming right now!

- Okay, we need Bobby back.

We have to convince Lori to take him back.

But to do that, we need to know what Lori wants.

- What does any woman want?

- Women. - Women.

- What do they want?

- But all I'm saying is, if someone gave me

a pair of pants, I would say, oh, thank you,

I love them, even if I didn't love them.

- He didn't like the pants.

And why are people running around town buying

other people pants anyway?

- Oh, here we go again, Lynn's pant rant.

- Pants are a very personal garment.

People can't predict how they're gonna feel or fit.

Look at these khakis.

I bought these for myself, perfect fit.

- So you're saying that no one should

ever buy anyone else pants?

- Yes, it's a waste of money.

It's like buying too many bananas.

Nobody eats them, and they just go bad.

- So you're saying I buy too many bananas?

[soft tense music]

- No.

- We've hit Dad with two compliments.

If we hit him with one more,

he should be sufficiently buttered.

- Maximum butterage.

Let's do this.

- Ah!

- Hey there, you handsome-- - These are my favorite pants!

- Well, I'll be sure not to buy you another pair.

- On the subject of bedtime--

- I am in the worst mood ever.

- Okay, good talk.

- Catch up with you later, handsome.

- [sighs] Why we--

- Were you gonna say something?

- I didn't have anything.

Do you?

- I don't have anything either.

both: Hey, there they are!

- You guys must know what women want.

- Not according to Leni and Luna.

We offered to help cheer up Lori,

but they said we haven't loved and lost the way they had.

- I've never lost at anything, and I'm not gonna lose

at helping my sister.

- Welcome to Team McCloud.

We're gonna figure out how to get those two back together.

What do you got? Lisa, go.

- We build a time machine and travel back in time.

- Lynn, go.

- We set up a series of cones and have them each dribble

a soccer ball around the cone. - Clyde, go.

- I've heard women like shoes.

- Ugh.

- How does anybody figure this out?

- We figured it out.

- We just need to get Bobby to apologize to Lori

and tell her everything she wants to hear.

- And make him think this whole thing was his idea

so Lori doesn't know we put him up to it.

- It's so easy.

Like every woman, all Lori wants is

to feel heard and appreciated.

- Yeah. That and shoes.

- Ugh.

all: Hey, there they are!

- We need your help.

- We need your help first.

- Your club sandwich compliment idea went south.

- We were about to hit Dad with his third compliment.

Then he and Mom got into a big argument.

- And now Dad's in a bad mood.

- Okay, give me a second.

Here's what we're gonna do.

It's called fire starter, fire chief.

You create a problem, then solve that problem,

becoming the hero.

Steal Dad's wallet.

He'll get all upset about it, then you swoop in,

hey, we found it, and save the day.

Boom, bang, boom, your bedtime is midnight.

both: You're a genius.

- Now you guys gotta help us with our problem.

- Where'd they go?

- We don't need them, Clyde,

because they're right.

I am a genius.

We'll hit her with bad teacher, substitute teacher.

- Great.

What is that?

- It's when you don't like your teacher,

but then you get a substitute teacher that's even worse,

so you want your first teacher back.

- So we show Lori a guy who's worse than Bobby

to make Bobby look better in comparison.

- Bing, bang, boom, Bobby and Lori are back together.

For the win.

- We just need to find someone who Lori would never go for

in a million years, someone completely devoid

of charisma and talent.

- I've got just the guy.

- What's up? I'm Patrick.

I also have this look,

and not pictured, this look.

- That's the guy.

- I know what I should do.

I should tell Lori that I'm sorry

and I understand why she's mad at me.

- That is a great idea, Bobby.

- So great.

- Yeah, and I came up with it all by myself

because I realized that our fight

wasn't really about the pants.

It was about--

- Trying new things.

- And being open to new...

adven...

- Tures? Adventures!

Yes, that's right.

- And it was all your idea.

- Yep, it's so clear to me.

- But just in case you forget, here's a card with a couple

key b*llet points.

- Oh, that you just thought of by yourself.

- How am I supposed to say this stuff to her?

I'm not allowed to go to the house.

- Maybe she'll be at the mall at :.

- You think so?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- We know so.

- Okay, I'll be at the mall at :.

- Card.

- :.

- Okay, guys, let's go over the game plan again.

- Lori should be showing up soon.

- Yep, Lisa is slipping the bait under her door

as we speak.

- Okay, Lisa, just slide it

under the door like any other coupon.

Could it be simpler?

Oh!

- I can't find it anywhere.

Hey, Lori, can you help me find my ding-dang wallet?

Your mom won't help me look for it because she

buys too many bananas.

- Bobby got me flowers.

- Yes, this is Lynn Loud.

I would like to cancel all my credit cards.

- I will buy as many bananas as I want!

- It's almost showtime.

Now remember, the more repulsive

she finds you, the more she'll realize how great Bobby is.

- Got it. Now what was the fight about?

I need some backstory for my character.

So far, I'm just a former Marine with a heart of gold,

Lieutentant Bo Chopper.

- Wow.

- She bought him some pants that were too tight.

He didn't wanna wear them, blah, blah, blah.

You don't need to know this.

Just go in there, spill this Flippee on her,

and be annoying.

- Now what level of annoying do you want me to be?

- Whatever you're doing right here, it's working just fine.

- Lynn, you hide out by the corndog cart.

If things go sideways, we may need you to take someone out.

- I can take this clown out right now.

- If we need that, the code word is "torpedo."

- Sick.

- Clyde and I will be hiding out

in these recycling containers watching

our victory unfold from afar.

- There's Lori.

- Places, everybody.

- I finished the Flippee.

- We'll buy you another one.

- This one's fine.

Ooh, red.

- Please say torpedo.

- Break.

- Ooh, there's Lori.

- Oh, and there's Bobby right on time.

This is gonna be great.

- I can cool you down.

I can cool you down.

- Oh, my gosh, what's Bobby doing here?

This is not part of the plan.

- Hi, Bobby.

- Hi, Lori.

- I'm really glad that you're here.

- I need to be more open to tight pants.

Or is it that I need my tight pants to be more open?

- I got your note.

- What? - Your note.

- Oh, yeah, my note.

I know it may seem like I'm stuck in my ways,

but I want our life to be filled with new things.

- Oh.

You have no idea how much this means to me, Bobby.

- Oh, she's crying.

- Oh, my gosh, she's crying.

Send in Patrick. - Go, go, go.

- I had to cool youdown.

- And you're so handsome that I doubt there's any style that

wouldn't look great on you.

- I'm gonna wear those pants every day for you.

- Boo-boo-bear!

- What's happening? - Who's that guy?

- Sorry.

- He's kind of cute, like a bad substitute teacher.

- What did you do that for?

- I had to cool you down because you're so hot.

Lieutenant Bo Chopper. Nice to meet me.

- I'm gonna call security.

- Hey, this wasn't my idea.

I got paid to do that so you'd see what a loser

I am and like him more.

- What?

- Bobby, did you pay Corporal Bo chopper to do this?

- Lieutenant.

- Bobby, did you pay Lieutenant Bo Chopper to do this?

- Uh, let me check my card.

- Hey, don't get mad at him.

You're the one who forced him to wear those tight pants.

- How does he know about our fight?

- Uh.

- I'm just saying, pants are a very personal item.

- You would do anything to win this fight.

I have never been so mortified in my entire life.

- This is going great.

- This guy was born for this role.

- I am so disappointed in you.

And you're even worse.

- I don't have to take that from you.

I'm my own man.

Mom, pick me up right now at the food court.

- Where's he going?

- I'm looking at you and freaking out right now.

- Same!

- Please say torpedo. Please say torpedo.

- I don't wanna see you anymore.

- Well, I don't wanna see you either.

- Fine! - Fine!

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[both grunt]

- Go, go, go. - Come on, come on.

We gotta move faster. - Hurry!

- I can't see.

- Torpedo, torpedo.

For the love of God, torpedo!

- Yes!

- Mom, if you haven't left yet, bring me a juice box.

- Ah!

- Oh, that felt good.

- So how'd the plan go?

- Ow.

- I have checked every inch of this house.

Where the heck is it?

I must have left it at Lynn's table.

- There you are, you handsome devil.

- Guess who found your wallet?

- Oh, yes! Where?

- In the garage. - Under the rug.

- Under the rug in the garage.

- You handsome devil.

- [chuckles] There's no rug in the garage.

Wait a minute.

Are you two trying to club sandwich me?

And fire starter, fire chief?

- Really?

Canceling the credit card so I couldn't buy bananas?

That was so embarrassing.

You have sunken to a new low.

- No, but I had to cancel the credit cards.

The twins stole my wallet.

- I don't care who stole your wallet.

I have the right to buy bananas!

- It's not his fault!

[all arguing]

- Stop it! Stop it!

Enough with the lies.

I just want someone to tell me the truth.

- I'll tell you the truth.

Those pants were so tight, I couldn't feel my feet.

But I'm gonna wear them every single day

because that's how much I love you, Lori.

- Oh, boo-boo bear, that's all I wanted to hear.

- So this means we can finish our movie?

- On one condition.

As queen of the planet Zurgan, it is my distinct pleasure

to award you our highest honor for saving our planet.

[pants creaking]

I now dub thee Zurganian, Slayer of the Robots.

You may now kneel to accept your award.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [coughs] Kneel. - [coughs] Kneel.

- Gentlemen, I cannot lie.

I loved every frame of that film.

Except for the pants. They're too tight.

- We can explain.

His girlfriend bought him those pants.

- Why would anyone buy someone a pair of pants?

That's the most personal of garments.

For that reason and for that reason alone, I'm out.

both: But, sir! - Too late.

I'm going with the wiener dog.

Not opera, but he shows promise.

And a brother who plays the bongos.

- Well, Clyde, I think we learned

a very valuable lesson today.

We gotta get that wiener dog for "Robot Wars ."

- Smash hit!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪