09x01 - What If He Was Innocent?

[bunniefuu]

I've always wanted
to tell my side.

And...

it feels good to be able
to tell

my story after holding it in
for so long.

The people that say
that I lied,

they're right, I did lie
on the stand for Todd.

But...

for everyone that says
that I am a liar,

I just say that,

you know, you don't know me.

A lot of people will think
Todd's innocent when he's not.

I know how Todd was,

and I don't really care
what people say.

As long as I know the truth,
I could care less.

Everyone's so worried about,

"Texas ex*cuted
an innocent man"

when they did not execute
an innocent man.

I know Todd is guilty.

You don't know
the whole story.

You don't know
my life with Todd,

but I hope after watching this,
you do.

This is the truth.

It's crazy that the first day
I ever met him,

there was a red flag,
and I dismissed it.

The first time
I met Todd,

I was working
at a Dairy Queen.

I was a senior in high school.

Hey.

He goes, "Aren't you Stacy?"
I said yes.

He said, "Don't you drop
that white pickup?"

I said, "Yes, I do."
He says, "Don't you live in

those apartments?" I said,
"Actually, I do."

At the time,
I never thought about

how did this man know all
this stuff about me already,

and I had never seen him
a day in my life?

But it's like I had already
been... being followed

and watched.

And he said, "Well, my brother
wants to go out with you,

and I said, "Well,

why don't he can ask me?"
And he said, "Well, he's shy."

Um, yeah, sure,
we can hang out.

When I met them
that evening,

Todd was the one
that started talking to me.

And actually,
the whole evening,

he talked to me
the whole evening.

His brother actually never
talked to me.

So it was Todd that
I ended up dating.

He seemed like
a really good person.

He was so nice to me.

And he showed me
so much attention.

Years later, I had asked
his brother about,

"Hey, you know, Todd told me
that he come in

and asked me, uh,
to go out with you, actually,"

and he had told me

that, "No, Stacy,
that's not true.

I didn't know you."

After everything that's
happened, I see so many

red flags that I just
dismissed, so many.

This is a photograph
of me and Todd.

Um, this actually was taken
on Todd's 20th birthday.

That was the day he changed.

That's the day I told him
I was pregnant with Amber.

I was 18. I told him
I was pregnant, and he said,

"You better not be."

He goes, "You know,
I didn't ask for a kid.

"I don't want a kid,
and I don't want a wife.

That's not the life I want."

So I'm sure that's why

I don't look so happy
in this picture.

Todd never

pushed me, shoved me,
slapped me, anything,

until after I told him I was
pregnant for the first time.

I was running a bath.

We were talking
about something.

I was thinking maybe it's time
you look for work.

And I just don't think
he liked my answer.

And he just kind of pushed me.

But when he pushed me,
he pushed me over the bathtub,

and I said, "Todd,
why did you push me like that?

I could have a miscarriage,"
and he just said, "Well,

that wouldn't be
a bad thing,"

and I was just like, "What?"

So it was a shock to me
for him to even push me.

But then to say that...

It was heartbreaking.

But he was my first boyfriend,
my first on everything.

He was my first,
and I did love him.

I was in love with him,

and I guess I overlooked
the little things that really

were big things that I shouldn't
have overlooked with him.

I don't wanna be a single mom
raising a child.

I want him here.
I want him to love his daughter

and love me, too,
the way I love him.

I wanted to do whatever I could
just to keep my family together.

I realized
I was pregnant again.

Amber was eight months old,
and I went to the doctor.

They did a sonogram,
and I was pregnant with twins.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I went home, and Todd came
through the door,

and I said, "Hey,
I am pregnant with twins."

Are you kidding me?

Again?

I didn't even want
the first one.

And he starts arguing
with me.

He starts pushing me,

gets on top of,
and he was hitting me.

I had never had no man
beat me.

No one ever beat me
like he was doing.

Well, I reached over to grab
that phone to call 911,

and he took the phone
out of my hand.

He starts beating me
with the phone.

I mean, he beat me with
a phone so badly,

he broke the phone.

And then he stops,
and he reaches for Amber,

and he says,
"Give me that kid.

I'm taking her. She's mine."

I didn't know
what he was gonna do.

I kind of throw myself
up against her.

I said, "Over my dead body,"
and he said, "Well,

that can be arranged."

Careful what you wish for.

He just looked, like, so mad.

Like he could have k*lled me.

He looked so evil.

I chose not to call the cops,
because I was still young,

and I guess I thought I don't
want any more problems.

I thought maybe if
I did call the cops,

maybe they would arrest him,

and then I'd have to deal
with him when he got out.

So I just wanted it
to be over.

I didn't want to deal
with him,

so I chose not to call
the cops.

I said,
"Get out of my house."

Well, it was about
a month or so, six weeks.

We talked.
Hey, apologized.

He said,
"I don't know why I did that.

"I'm so sorry.
I could never apologize

enough to you
for what I have done."

And I believed him.

I'm fixin' to have the twins.

He's... acts like
he's excited now about it.

You know,
everybody makes mistakes.

So I let him back in.

I didn't recognize all
the evil in Todd,

because I...
I loved Todd.

And a lot of times,
love is blinding.

It blinds you
from the truth.

The twins were
two months old.

I thought Todd
was having an affair,

because he was
disappearing a lot.

He was saying he was
at work at times

when I would find out
that he wasn't.

And that's what started
the fight that night.

Are you calling me a liar?

- Is that what you're saying?
- Of course not.

You know that's not
what I meant.

He started cussing me
and yelling, started pushing

me around, and then Todd
started hitting on me.

I don't owe you
an explanation.

Stop, don't!

And he held me down,
and Todd beat me

until I seen stars.

When a woman has a baby,

you can start hemorrhaging,
and I started bleeding real bad.

Todd put me in the bathtub.

I tried to tell Todd,
you know,

you've got to call
my mom or call...

Take me to the hospital,
'cause I could die.

I said, "I have got
to go to the hospital."

No. Uh-uh.

Nope.
Refused to let me go.

I stayed in that tub all night.

I honestly just thought
I was gonna die.

I thought that was it.

I guess I'd fallen asleep
in the tub.

I woke up, and Todd was
just sitting there.

I don't know how long he had
been sitting there watching me.

I can still today
see his face.

He said,
"Did you learn your lesson?"

I said, "About what?" And he
said, "About talking back to me.

"You don't talk back to me.

"I told you every time
you talked back to me,

"this is what's gonna happen
to you.

"You've gotta learn, Stacy.

You've gotta learn to
act right."

I was terrified of Todd,
and I knew that if I ever

was to call the cops at that
time that I would...

be punished by him.

And he would tell me,
"You'll never

leave me,
I'll never let you leave."

This is a photograph
of the twins.

This is actually
the very first

picture I ever took
with the girls.

I was so scared,
because they were so little.

I would ask Amber, you know,
"Which one's Kameron?

Which one's Karmen?"
And she could pick 'em out.

She was a good
big sister to 'em.

You can see how young
I am in it.

When the twins were born,
I was 20 years old.

I always think, you know,

if that girl would have been
a little bit stronger,

you know, your life
could have been a lot different.

I wouldn't be sitting here
telling my story.

If she could have just been
a little bit stronger.

I don't know if
I could forgive her,

because if she would have
just woke up

and stepped back and said,
"Hey, no, you know,

this isn't gonna happen,"

our lives would've ended up
different than they are today.

After we got married, he said
that, "I think that I'm gonna go

"ahead and let you work,

and I'm gonna to stay home
and watch the kids."

And I was working,
paying the bills.

I noticed that I did
everything on my own.

I'd go to work thinking,
"Why do I have him there?

I could do this for my girls
and me. I don't need him."

You're home late.

Yeah, I had
a long day at work.

And so I started
standing up more for myself.

Even if it was to cause
a fight, I'd still stand up.

Or maybe you got a boyfriend
I don't know about.

Excuse me?

I remember
coming home one night,

and he started yelling
at me.

Just shut up!

And when I turned around,
he just popped me in my mouth.

And I looked at him,
and I said, "Todd,

"you can hit me all you want.
Come the first of the year

"after Christmas,
I am gonna divorce you.

I don't need you."

We're over.

"I'm done with all
your evilness.

I'm moving on
and taking my girls with me."

I was expecting him
to start arguing or backhand me,

but he didn't.
He didn't say a word.

He just looked at me.

Never said a word.

He just never said a word.

It was around December
the 8th or so, and I heard

a knock on the door, and it was
some friends of ours,

and they were there to share
the news of the passing of

their baby.

She was pregnant, and she had
a baby boy that was stillborn.

And I was telling Todd,
I said, "You know,

I don't know
how they're gonna do it."

I said, "How can you lose
your child?

"That would k*ll me.
I could never lose my child.

I don't think I could make it."

You know? It's just the worst
thing in the world.

It's just terrible.

And Todd
was just like, "Yeah,

"I know," he goes, "I know
you love the girls more than

anybody that walks this earth."

You really do love your girls
more than anything...

even me.

I think that planted
that idea in his head.

Here I'm talking about
divorcing him,

and so I think when I told
Todd how I would feel

if I lost my girls,

I think maybe
he remembered that.

I think if I would have
never said that,

I don't know, maybe things
would've been different.

Money was always tight,
because it was only me working,

and I had four mouths to feed.

It was December,
and I was

at the house,
and Todd come in one day

with two of his friends,
and they were bringing

this icebox in the house.

And I said, "Todd, we already
have an icebox."

He goes,
"Well, I'm gonna fix it."

I said, "What do you mean
fix it? It doesn't work?"

He says, "No, it doesn't work,
but I'm gonna fix it."

Todd took the icebox and pushed
it right to the back door

so you couldn't get out.

I told him, I said,
"Can we at least move it over?"

But he refused to.

So it just sat there.

Looking back now
to where the icebox was,

if anyone was to try
to get in that back door,

they couldn't.

If anyone was trying
to get out of the house,

they could not.

You know, it was big,
and it was bulky.

I think it was there
for a reason...

To block that back door.

This is the last picture
we ever took together.

Me and Todd took the girls
to a store,

a photo store, to get
our pictures taken for

family pictures... I wanted to
give them for Christmas gifts.

We're all smiling,
and he's... he looks so mad,

like he did not want
to be there with any of us.

I get angry
when I look at this picture.

You're with the only people
that truly loved you.

But you're so mad,
and you look so evil in it.

I can't explain
Todd's evilness. I can't.

On December 22nd of '91, I went
back to pick up the family

pictures with Todd,
and then I went

to get Amber a Christmas
dress, and he said,

"Hey, I want to go. Let's go.
What are you doing?"

I said, "I'm looking for
a Christmas dress for Amber."

"She doesn't need
a Christmas dress.

Why are you looking
for a dress?"

This is our last Christmas
together as a family,

and if I want her to have
a dress, she will.

I turned around.

I looked at him, I said,
"I'm buying

"my daughter of Christmas dress,
because I can,

"and it's my money,

"and I really don't care
what you have to say.

"Because once again, I am
divorcing you after Christmas.

So I really don't care what
you think."

Don't forget
I'm divorcing you.

He looked at me.

It was like a moment of
I just hate

for what you just
said to me.

I was expecting him
to argue with me

or to fight me and...
Or maybe backhand me.

But he didn't say anything.
He didn't say a word.

And so he got mad and went
back to the car.

I think he seen
a person that

was becoming something
that he didn't like,

a person that was standing
up to him and saying,

"Hey, I'm done.
Enough's enough."

I think that was
the trigger.

I've gotta put her
back in her place.

I've gotta take from her
to make her

that weak woman again, because
she's getting too strong.

I got up on December 23, 1991,

and I went to
the twins' bedroom, fed 'em,

gave them their bottles,
and we were just playing.

And, you know, it was
almost Christmas time,

and I kind of looked up, and
Todd was standing at the door

and looking in on us.

Oh, Todd, you're up.

Yeah.

And I thought it was unusual
for him to get up

so early with us, because
he normally didn't do that.

And I just said,
"What are you doing?"

He goes, "Nothing.
Just watching."

He didn't really have
a lot to say.

Maybe he was having second
thoughts watching us play,

and we were laughing and
stuff, but he didn't join

with us... he just
watched over us that morning.

Well, I got to go.

And I told Todd,
I've got to do some errands,

and then once I get home, we'll
get ready for the holidays,

and he didn't say anything.

Looking back now,
I just wonder

sometimes if he was
looking in on us thinking,

you know, "Should I do this
or should I not?"

I had some errands
to run that morning.

I was standing in line,
and a cop come in,

announcin' he was looking
for Stacy Willingham,

and I was like,
"Well, that's me."

So then I start panicking
and I'm asking him, "Well,

"did something happen?
Is something wrong?

Did something happen to
the girls or one of the girls?"

I said... he goes,
"Ma'am, I don't know.

All I know is to take you
to the hospital."

They put me
in this little room,

uh, and the doctor

come in and talked to me,
and he says, um,

"Amber didn't make it."

And I was like,
"Well, what do you mean,

"Amber didn't make it?
What are you talking about?

Where is she at?"

I start yelling in the ER,

you know,
"Where is my daughter?"

I start going to open doors.

So I run in there to her.

And so I was holding her,
and I asked him,

you know,
where are my twins at?

Where are the girls at?

Someone said that
they were at a funeral home,

and I was like,
"A funeral home?

Why are they
at a funeral home?"

And she says, "Ma'am, your twins
didn't make it either."

And I was just...
I was just in shock.

I just didn't understand.

I kept just holdin' her
and rocking her.

I just begged, "Please,
just please, just please

wake up, Amber."

I remember just begging that,
just wanting her to wake up

and for it not to be real,
you know?

How are my kids dead?

I was like,
how are my girls gone?

How is this happening?

You're telling me that all
three of my daughters are dead,

but yet my husband is laying
in the next room,

and he barely had
any marks on him.

So I wanted to know
what was going on.

I'll give you guys a minute.

And when I walked in,
it's like he couldn't look

at me... he just wouldn't
even look at me at first.

What happened, Todd?

He's saying that he woke up to
Amber saying, "Daddy, daddy,"

he noticed there was
smoke in the house,

told her to get out of
the house, went down the hall,

went in the girls' room,
tried to feel for 'em.

The room was filled
with smoke.

He had found a teddy bear
and thought he found one

of the twins and got out

and realized it
wasn't one of the twins.

It was a teddy bear.

He said he got
out of the house.

So you went back?

And I'm like, but why didn't
you go back in to get

the girls?
And he says, "Well, I tried,

"but there was...
The fire was too much,

and I couldn't get back in."

I was lookin' out the window,
and everybody left.

There was just me and Todd
in that room.

And Todd asked me, he said,
"Stacy, what's wrong?"

You okay?

And I was like, what?

He said, "What's wrong?
Don't be sad."

I said, "Todd, we just lost
all of our girls today,

you know?" He said,
"Well, Stacy, don't worry.

"It'll be all right.
We'll have more kids.

"We'll have another Amber,
Karmen, and Kameron.

Don't be sad."

We'll have more.

I just looked
at him, and I just

turned around and looked out
that window and thought,

how did this person
just say this to me?

He just lost his girls, too.

How can you say that?

"It will be all right."

It was just shocking for me
to hear him say that.

And I just looked
out that window.

I never said...
Never said a word back,

just looked out the window.

I think I was just still in
shock, but I never forgot that.

Sometimes when I dream
I'm in that house,

the house is on fire, and I'm
reaching out to my girls,

and I sometimes have them
by their hand,

but they're just slipping.

You know, I just... I just
can't... I can't save them.

This picture here

is where the girls were,
the twins.

One was that the door going
into the room,

and the other one was right
there next to her.

So if you were to go in that
room and get down and just go

like that to feel, you would
have gotten the twins.

I mean, my girls just were
just, like, right there.

But at that time,
I wasn't really

told exactly what the evidence
was with Todd.

I just didn't know until years
later, I did get the case file,

and that's why
I think at first,

Todd's plan did work
to keep me... before the fire,

I was gonna divorce Todd,
after the fire,

I don't even think about
the divorce anymore.

I was still in shock,

and I was hanging on to
the only thing I had left,

and that was Todd.

Christmas Eve,

that morning,
Todd got out of the hospital.

His parents had picked him up,
and I was there.

Well, Todd started
throwing a fit.

"No, I want
to go to the house."

And we were like, "Why?"

And he said, "Well, I just...
I want to go to the house."

So we get there,

standing at that house...
That's a memory I just...

I'll... I can't get
out of my head.

I can't get that smell...

I can sit here, and I can
smell that house, you know?

They walk in the house,

and Todd grabs
this cologne,

and he's dousing it
back and forth,

and I look, and I'm like,
"What are you doing, Todd?"

He said, "I'm pouring
this cologne out because

"the twins like the smell of it,

"and I want the house to smell
like this... my cologne,

because they like that."

I just said,
"No, they don't."

The twins can't even walk.

You know, they really don't
have a favorite cologne.

And his dad says,

"Boy, you need
to stop doing that.

They... they're probably
still investigating this."

He goes, "I don't care.

"I don't care what
they're doing.

It's my house,
and I can do what I want."

Todd walked down the hall.

He's dousing it
back and forth.

He walks into the girls' room.

He starts dousing it
in the girls' room.

But I didn't think
anything about it.

It's just cologne.

I mean, if they were
investigated it, surely they'll

know the difference in
cologne and something else.

So it didn't raise
any red flags to me.

This is a picture of
the diagram of our house.

It's an evidence picture.

This was the pattern
that... where Todd

had supposedly poured kerosene
on the floor.

When I seen this picture,
and I thought,

"Wait a second.
I've seen this before."

This picture brought me
back to that day, and I looked

at it, and I thought,

"How did Todd pour that cologne

exactly where they're saying
kerosene was poured?"

We had three kerosene lamps.

And I believe Todd took those
lamps off that shelf.

I believe he poured
'em down the hallway.

I believe he poured 'em down
the girls' room under the beds,

and I think he set that fire
and walked out that door.

And then waited
till the fire trucks come,

because I said Todd was just
sitting in the yard.

He was sitting there
till the fire trucks come.

It's the same pour pattern as
he poured that cologne.

It's like he was trying to get
back to the house to

cover up what he had done with
cologne before they started

the investigation.

On January the 8th of '92,
Todd was arrested.

We were going over
to my parents' house,

which was across town.

The cops turn their lights, and
they start yelling, saying,

"Put your hands up," and Todd
turned around and looked at me,

and he said, "Stacy..."

They're going to lie
to you.

Whatever you hear after I get
arrested, you don't believe it.

You only listen to me, and you
believe what I tell you.

Only believe what I say,
because they're going to try

to make you believe a lot of
stuff that's not true.

I'm like, what are you
talking about, Todd?

Todd Willingham, exit
the car with your hands up.

And he said, "Just remember,
only listen to me."

They come over,
they arrest Todd.

I says, "Why are you arresting
my husband?"

What are you doing to him?

And they said,
"Stacy, we're arresting him

for m*rder of
your three daughters."

And I'm like what?

That... how can you be
doing that?

You know, Todd didn't do this.

They just said,
"Well, yes, he did."

I started crying.

You lose all three of your
daughters at one time in

a fire, and now,
two weeks later,

you're supposed to believe
that the man you had

those babies with k*lled 'em.

How are you to believe that?

I can't even believe
my daughters are dead.

But now you want me to believe
that my husband did it?

How do you even process that?

Todd wouldn't hurt the girls.

He wouldn't do this.
That's just all I kept saying.

And they took him off,
and they just left me there.

This is a letter Todd
wrote me a couple of days

before I was to testify for him

to tell me what I needed
to say on the stand.

I've never shared
this letter

or any letter that
Todd ever wrote me.

It says, "Stacy,
just be calm

"and do the best you can,

"and just remember, all you
have to do is let them know

"the best memories,

"because those are the ones
that will sound best.

"They are trying
to make me look bad.

You are to make me look good,
and don't be afraid to cry."

So he was telling me what to
say to make him look good.

I did testify
on Toddy's behalf.

I did lie on the stand
for Todd.

I did it for Todd,
because that's what he asked.

When I was asked
if me and Todd had

a fight before the fire,
I said that we didn't fight,

and we did.

I said that Todd
didn't beat me.

He told me to not tell him
that he had beat me

with a telephone, because
that would make him look bad.

And I told 'em he'd have
never hurt the kids,

and I said that several times,
because I still just couldn't

believe a parent would
k*ll their children.

I didn't wanna lie,
but I just felt

like I didn't have
a choice with him.

Even though Todd was locked up,

I was just scared of Todd.

After Todd was found guilty
and was sentenced death row,

I still believed in Todd.

I still thought Todd
was innocent.

I just couldn't believe that
a parent would do that.

So I believed him,
and they brought Todd out.

Wait a minute.

And he's telling me,
"Stacy,

don't you ever forget me,"
and he keeps yelling it.

"Don't you ever forget me."

Remember me, Stacy,
all right?

- Todd.
- I didn't do it.

Don't let them take me away
from you.

I went to Todd's execution.

He said he was innocent,
and then he turned to me

and started just cussing
me saying,

"I hope you rot
in hell, b*tch."

I remember that,

and I remember him
taking his arm

and pushing it to give me
a middle finger.

But not one time did Todd ever
say, "I love my daughters.

I never k*lled my daughters."

He never mentions
his daughters' names.

I think that's what
an innocent person would be

yelling out.

The next thing I know,
they were touching me

and telling me
it was time to go.

I thought that was it.

Finally, finally, it's over.

Finally, I could move on,
but how wrong I was.

I was so wrong.

After he was ex*cuted,
I started, um,

seeing things in the paper
about the Innocence Project.

They think Todd's innocent,
Texas ex*cuted an innocent man.

I was told about
The New Yorker article

from my lawyer... when The New
Yorker was published,

they put in the article
that it was bad science.

And there's even another
report from a fire expert

saying that some of
the stuff that they did use

to prove his guilt
was outdated

and the fire was either caused
by a gas space heater

or an electrical fire,

but the gas was checked.

The gas was turned off.

There was no gas
going to that house.

And also, the electrical
was checked,

and there was
no electrical fire.

There was no gas on
in our house,

and the electric wire
was checked.

So it is arson.

But still, they were yelling it
from the rooftops.

Cameron Todd Willingham
was innocent.

I felt like they were using
him as a poster child

to stop the death penalty
in Texas, but

find someone else, because
this man was not innocent.

He was guilty.

When Todd got
an execution date,

I went up to the courthouse.
They went to walk him out.

And he looked at me,
and he said, "Stacy,

"you need to come see me.
You need to come see me.

"There are things
that need to be said.

You best come see me."

And then he walked out.

And two weeks before he was
ex*cuted, on January the 31st,

I went and visited with him
on death row.

When I went in there, I didn't
know if Todd had done it

or not... that's when
I found out the truth.

He said, "Stacy, honestly,
I didn't even go in there.

"I didn't even try
to save the girls.

I just walked out of
the house."

He said,
"Do you remember

"the last time we fought
before the fire?

Do you remember
what you said to me?"

I said, "Yes. I turned
to you, and I told you

"I didn't care
what you had to say,

because after Christmas,
I was divorcing you."

He goes, "Right," he said,
"Stacy, I believed you.

"In my mind, I could not let you
walk out of that house.

"You were not leaving me,

"and I didn't care what
it took.

"You were not gonna leave me.
You were not divorcin' me.

"And the only thing
I could think of

"is if you didn't
have Amber, Karmen, or Kameron,

"you couldn't leave me and go
have kids with someone else.

You could only have an Amber,
Karmen, and Kameron with me."

And when he said that,

it's like that night
at the hospital

come into my mind.

I'm like, he told me that
the day of the fire.

He told me, "Don't worry,

because we'll have another
Amber, Karmen, and Kameron."

He said,
"I took what I knew

"would hurt you
to make you stay with me.

I'm so stupid
for what I've done."

After Todd had told me
what he had done,

he wanted me to write a letter
and tell them that I would

rather Todd
spend life in prison

than to be ex*cuted.

I don't want to die.

He said,
"Stacy, nobody wants to die."

I said,
"Todd, you're right.

"No one wants to die, and I can
guarantee you, on December 23rd,

my three daughters did not
want to die in that house."

Todd didn't just
take my world.

Todd took my future.

This man just didn't take
three girls from me.

He took everything from me.

He took my girls.

He took my grandkids away.

He took my life

and what future I might have
had away from me.

And I just got up,
and I walked out.

That was the last time
I ever spoke to him.

I've read where people say,
"You defended Todd

all these years"...
I defended Todd for 10 months,

not 13 years.

And then I had read where

one of the reporters had come
to my house and interviewed me,

and I told him that Todd
didn't confess to me

and all that,
and that wasn't true.

I never said that.

The people that say that
I lied... they're right.

I did lie on the stand
for Todd.

But I didn't lie
about what Todd told me.

Todd was not innocent.

This is a letter that Todd
sent me the day after

our visitation.

I've never shared this letter
until today.

It says,
"Dear Stacy, how are you?

"I hope this finds you well and
in good spirits.

"I am grateful
for you coming to see me

and giving me a chance
to say the things I could."

He says that the visit was
cleansing to his conscience.

"Saying those things in person
meant so much more."

So not only
did he tell me

face-to-face,
he also wrote me.

I don't really care
what any report says.

I don't believe a New Yorker
or anything else.

I believe what Todd
told me.

I hope telling the truth will
make people realize, you know,

that Todd did m*rder
my daughters.

And it's not about
the death penalty.

It's not about that.

You know, Todd is guilty,

and he's guilty of k*lling
three little girls

that everybody seems
to have forgotten.

No one will ever heal
from losing a child.

Never, ever. But in my case,
you have to move on.

You have to live.

Either you're gonna
lay down and die,

or you're gonna get up
and live.

It's two choices you have.

I chose to get up,
and I chose to live.

But, you know, I know one day,
one day I will be back with

my daughters, and that's...
That's what keeps me going.