03x08 - I'm Sorry You Had to See This

[bunniefuu]

[peacock wailing]

Joel: Previously
on House of Villains.

- I feel like you
are a strong competitor.

You're someone that I feel
like I wanna align myself with.

- Three of us the next game

have to win Supervillain.

[laughter]

- "Congrats,
you opened an envelope.

And now you're on the Hit List."

- "Congratulations,
you're on the Hit List."

- I believe that Tom and Tyson
were targeting me.

- Better that she opened it,
so now she's--it's off of you.

- Yeah.
Joel: Kate,

you are the Supervillain.

You're off the Hit List.
Christine: Wow.

- Anyone who puts me
on a Hit List,

I will retaliate.

Tyson, take your place.

Tom, you are the next one.

My third nominee...

- She may put me on the Hit List.

- Maybe me.

- I don't feel safe.

- We're on pins and needles.

[suspenseful music playing]

- Kate, who is your final
Hit List nomination and why?

Kate: These are the only two
I care to nominate,

but I have to nominate somebody.

That's gonna be Christine.
I'm so sorry.

- [groans]

Tiffany: Oh, my goodness.

- Christine, is there anything
you'd like to say?

- It sucks.

Uh, f*ck.

Um, yeah,

um, I really don't know
what to say.

Uh, yeah.

I had a feeling
this might be an option.

Joel: Well garbled, Christine.

You make
a very incoherent point.

Well, there you have it.

Tyson, Tom, and Christine
are on the Hit List.

When we return to this room,

one of those three
will be banished

and lose out on their chance

to win $200,000.

Good night, everybody.

- All right. Good night, Joel.

Kate: My goal is to split up
Tom and Tyson.

I know I should
have put New York up,

but against my better judgment,
I like her.

[jazz music playing]

[laughter]

- She's shockingly charming.

Also, if Christine goes home,
do I care?

Not really.

New York?
Tiffany: Hi.

- I'm coming just to check in
because I miss you.

Tiffany: I appreciate that
so much.

Kate: Well.
- Sweet dreams, beautiful.

Kate: Okay, good night.
Tiffany: Good night.

On one hand, I'm glad

that Kate did not put me
on the Hit List.

But on the other hand,

she put both my alliances
on the Hit List.

So of course,
I'm not happy with her.

- I'm gonna take my mic off now

and kindly ask for my telephone.

Tom: I made a lovely

frozen coffee drink.

- Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- That's nice of you.

You made this for me?
- Yeah.

- Oh, my God.
Am I going home?

Tom: No.

- I just got nominated
for the Hit List.

And honestly,
Kate can just go f*ck herself.

But just like Jesus,

I will resurrect and rise

on the challenge day
that is tomorrow.

[sighs]

It was like the third day
he was resurrected.

A redemption challenge
against you two,

I'm not so thrilled about.

Where did you get
a Lean Cuisine from?

Tom: The freezer.
- I didn't know it was like

an option to make food.

I thought you just like waited

for people to feed you.

- My pleasure.

I mean, Tom or Tyson
has to go home.

- A thousand percent.

Right now, I'm a free agent.

Two of my closest allies
are gone,

so I can align
with anybody I want.

When I genuinely say
to you, Tom,

that I have nobody in this house
but myself right now,

if you don't believe that,
then you're f*cking really...

- No, I believe it.
Paul: ...not seeing sh*t.

Tom and Tyson,
they're on the Hit List,

and New York is basically
in a throuple with them.

I can work with them if I want.

Kate, Drita, and Christine,

they want the bromance out.

Maybe I side with them.

I could finally be
the singular villain

and do what's best for me.

Christine, you're good, bro.

Tiffany: How many votes
does she need?

- It's four people voting.
Christine: Four.

Paul: You just need
New York, me, and Drita.

Tiffany: Excuse me?

Don't tell me what
I'm gonna do with my vote.

Honey,
you were wrong to do that.

Yeah.
I don't know what I'mma do.

Paul has been the little b*tch

of the house all season long.

Ain't nobody gonna tell me
how to vote.

Getting down on his knees
like a basset hound

and working every room.

I'm about to call
Sarah McLachlan

to come and pick his a*s up.

Paul, you're a stupid
cumbersome b*stard.

- Why?
- You're taking up space.

- So, I gotta go?
- How dare you offer my vote?

"If Tiffany votes, right?"
I don't know what I'm doing yet.

- You're right.
I shouldn't have spoken.

- Why would you do that?

- I'm stupid. I'm sorry.

Cumbersome is the right word.

I apologize. I f*cked up.

- We have done a hell
of a job.

We just fumbled
the f*cking letter.

- Oh, f*ck.

Tomorrow, Tom and I
have to compete

in the redemption challenge

against each other, and...

Christine, I forgot.

Christine is still
in the house.

Whether I come back in
or you come back in,

New York will vote with us
to keep the other one.

Tiffany: Mommy got snacks.

Snack-a-poodles.

- We pull this sh*t off, bro.

- That will be f*cking epic.

So Tyson and I
came up with a plan.

Step one, one of us has to win
the redemption challenge.

Step two,
we need to bring Paul in.

I'm feeling
really good about it.

♪ Two guys ♪

[upbeat music playing]

- Somebody keep saying that.
Yeah.

Christine: Oh, my God.

[upbeat music playing]

- Yeah.

I live in the
House of Villains mansion.

I believe
in taking care of myself

with a vigorous skincare

and rigorous
exercise routine.

Sorry.

In the morning, if my face
is not feeling perfect,

I put on a moisturizing
hyaluronic skin mask

with pineapple
and blueberry extract

to exfoliate the dead skin--

no, that doesn't exfoliate.

To wash away the sins
of last night,

and I always,
always shave my forehead

to resurface my face.

There is an idea
of Tom Sandoval,

but there is no real me,

only an entity, something...

Something illusory.

Does that sound like him?

producer: Yeah.
- Okay.

[birds chirping]

Tyson: Bergen,
what do you have to do today?

-I have
a cooking class today.

Tyson: What's the theme
for the cooking class?

- Summer.

Tom: Hey, Bergen, how you doing?

- Bergen, you and Tom
are the same age.

- Yeah.
Bergen: I don't believe that.

Tyson: You don't believe that?
Oh.

Tiffany: Hi. [laughs]
Rachel: Hello.

Tiffany: Aww.
- This is my wife, Rachel.

And this is my oldest daughter,
Bergen.

- Hi, cutie.

[laughing]

Girl, I'mma leave that alone.

- You wake up like this?

- No, now you know I didn't.

[laughter]

- Your daughter is so cute.

- Oh, it's the two boys
out there?

Oh, they're having office hours.

Rachel: Okay.
- Okay, bye.

Rachel: Talk to you later.
Tom: Bye.

Kate: What the hell?

Why would New York
have anything to say to them?

- I think since we've been
in this house,

she kind of was close with them.

New York's pretty smart.

She's got to know that Tyson's

the sleeping giant.

- Is there any way
that Tom's the smart one?

- [yawning]

- Absolutely not.

- [laughing]

- We came up with a plan
last night.

- And?

Tyson: As long
as one of us wins,

that means one of us comes back.

If you vote to keep me safe
and Tom wins

and he votes to keep me safe--
- But he can't win--I mean, vote.

- Yeah, I can.
- If he wins the redemption.

- Get the f*ck out of here.

You get to vote?

- Whoever wins the redemption
can vote.

- Yeah.
- I forgot about that.

- If you're willing
and ready to ride with us,

I think that we can convince
Paul to also vote with us,

which will give us the majority.

- Very smart, gentlemen.

I love the way you boys
are moving and maneuvering.

Do I hate Christine? No.
- No.

- Do I like Christine? Yes.

But she is the type of floater

that can win this whole show.

On "Selling Sunset,"

that woman is
a hard-a*s brick of ice.

- You understand the difference, right?

Or do you still have dementia?

- Christine.
- But in here,

Christine is prancing
through the house

like Alice in Wonderland,

working to try to make everyone
like her.

- I'm getting confuse-r
than I normally am.

Tiffany: I've seen
that type of energy when?

Out and down
to the rabbit hole, Alice.

Is that how it worked
in Alice in Wonderland?

I wanna go up against somebody

who's been showing their sh*t
the whole time.

You, you're an as*h*le.
You're an as*h*le.

- I'm not an as*h*le.
- When you need to be.

Tom: Yeah.
- And that's what's gonna be

my closer on it.

And you talk to Paul

when you need to talk to him.

Tyson: That's it.
- All right, fellas,

enjoy your morning.
Tyson: Thanks, Tiff.

You too.

- I will slay
this redemption challenge.

I do know what's going on.

I look amazing today.

Oh, my God, thank you.

[Kandy clears throat]

Excuse me.

Excuse me, villains.

Pipe down and bring
your asses downstairs.

- Wait, who is that?

Kandy: I sound a bit
different, don't I?

[laughing]

I'll see you real soon.

- Ah, you know what?

I think I know this voice.

Oh, this is
gonna be fun today.

[upbeat music playing]

- How could he check him
without grabbing his testicles?

- No, no, no, no.

- New York,
how are your E-levels?

- I'm feeling pretty horny
as usual.

- [chuckles]
Paul: Christine,

if there is something
where you can sabotage,

sabotage Tyson.
- Yeah.

Drita: Tyson has
to get eliminated,

and he just always
seems to maneuver getting safe.

- I know. I know. I know.
- We don't want that.

So your goal is
to knock him out.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Since the day
I stepped foot in this house,

I knew that Tyson needed to go.

I'm still pissed
about the tea party.

He poisoned me.

So I'm going to poison his a*s.

[glass breaking]

Drita: Get the f*ck out of here.

I know you bullshit, artist.

[suspenseful music playing]

- What?
- We're about to get messy.

- What the hell is this?

These pipes are
even older than mine.

[Kandy laughing]

[upbeat music playing]

- [screams]
- Hello, hello.

- Whoo!
[Tiffany laughs]

- Are we excited to see me?
Christine: Yes!

- Yes, sissy.
Tom: Of course.

- How good do I look?
- Amazing.

Kandy Muse.

Just looking fabulous
being the diva that she is.

Kandy: You're a sorry excuse
for a [bleep] man,

sitting there
with your pink fur coat on,

looking like a [bleep]
prolapsed as*h*le

waiting to get
pushed back inside.

You started it, and then,
you act like a little victim.

- What you're doing is
being an as*h*le on day one.

- Because I am an as*h*le.

- But I don't know
why she decided

to eat her eyebrows.

- [clears throat]
- It has changed

the whole shape of her face.

- Clap, clap, clap.

[applause]

- Joel basically begged me
to be here

to host
your redemption challenge.

So this challenge involves
a little teamwork.

Now, we could team you up
with someone from the house,

but that would be
f*cking boring.

So I thought
it would be a little fun

to bring in some old friends.

- [gasps] Oh, my God.

If Kandy's guest is Tom's ex,
Ariana, I would die.

- Let's bring them out, shall we?

[suspenseful music playing]

- I thought
it would be a little fun

to bring in some old friends.

- [gasps]

- So, let's bring them out,

shall we?

Playing with Tom Sandoval
is long-time castmate,

business partner,
and other white guy,

Tom Schwartz.

Tom: Schwartz!
Paul: What?

Tom: Dude.
Tiffany: There you go.

- Yes.

Dude, come here, man.

- Oh.
- Good to see you, dude.

- What's up, old buddy?
- Schwartz and I

have been, like,
best friends forever.

I mean, we've worked together
and been together

through so many things.

Leave him the [bleep] alone!

He's a [bleep] battered wife.

Look at him!

Oh, you got--you're wearing
the shoes I got you.

- I know.
[Tom laughs]

Tom: Good to see you, dude.
- [laughs]

- What's up, g*y?

- What's up?

Um, yeah.

I don't care. It's whatever.

- Playing with Tyson
is former tribe mate

and the other old guy,

Gervase Peterson.

Tiffany: Oh! Whoo!
- Yo, dude.

- I'm here!
- Bro.

Gerv is a certified
"Survivor" legend.

The Coconut Bandits are back.

We steamrolled our way

all the way
to the end of the game

and, uh, I won
a million dollars,

so that was cool for me.

- Wow, Gervase, an icon.

How does it feel to be here?

- It feels great.
I helped Tyson win a million.

What's 200,000 more?

Kandy: Oh.
- Ooh. [laughs]

- And lastly,
playing with Christine,

former coworker and castmate
and cold, catty mean girl,

Davina Potratz.

- Yay!

Oh, my God! Yes!
- [laughs]

Kandy: Oh.

Christine:
I'm so excited to see you.

I'm so excited to see Davina.

Davina and I,
we're both realtors.

I'm thinking like a zebra here.

- A zebra?
Christine: Yeah.

So you walk in--
- You're--wait.

You're gonna have
a real live zebra?

- Yeah, like from Britney Spears'
music video.

The most beautiful animal
in the whole entire world,

just, like, just hanging out.

She's like
the German version of me.

Right over here.
You know, she's a villain

that doesn't have humor.

- Are we ready
for today's challenge?

- I'm gonna go with yes.
[laughter]

- It's called Pipe Down.

Here's how the challenge works.

Together, you will race
to guide a metal ring

with two wrench handles
through a twisty pipe maze.

You'll have to be
super focused

because if your ring touches
the pipe at any time...

[air horn blows]

Kandy:
...an alarm will go off,

and our competing villain

will get blasted by water,

and you'll have
to start over.

First team to finish wins.

And the competing villain
will get off the Hit List.

- Hundred percent.
Yeah, we got this.

Tyson: I'm target number one
in the house.

Most everyone
wants me out of this game.

So, it's do or die for me.

- Slower, I think, is better.
- Uh-hmm. For sure.

Kandy: Villains, are you ready?

- Whoo!

Kandy: Three, two, one, go.

[air horn blows]

- Just take your time.
Take your time.

[air horn blows]

- I am hoping that Christine
and Davina win this challenge.

I would love to see Tom
and Tyson on the Hit List

campaigning against each other.

Will this be
their first lover's quarrel?

[air horn blows]
- This is insane.

- There's a current--
it's like a magnet.

Davina: There's something
powerful happening here.

- There has to be a pattern

for the way that the ions
are running.

[air horn blows]

- You know what I'm saying,
like, what?

[air horn blows]
- Tom, it's--oh, sh*t.

Don't splash me.
- Easy, easy.

[air horn blows]
- Oh, f*ck.

That's my bad. That's my bad.

- Man, they suck over there.

- Yeah. Okay, cool.
- Okay, you ready?

- Yeah, let's do it.
[air horn blows]

- Kind of let it go over...

[air horn blows]

- [laughs]

Tom: Oh, f*ck.

[air horn blows]

- No, that's not good.
- Easy. Easy.

- Okay.
[air horn blows]

- Oh. Oh, sorry, sorry.

- I'm not saying that.
[producer laughs]

- I'm not saying that.

New York will say that.

- Tyson is probably so jealous

that Tom is making
another guy wet.

Tom: Not too hard,
don't pull too hard.

Tiffany: Uh-oh. Watch out
for Ebony and Ivory over there.

They're making love
to this pipe.

Kandy: Baby, Tyson and Gervase

are k*lling it.
[air horn blows]

- f*ck, dude.
Kandy: Ooh, Christine,

slow and steady.

- Being tall isn't awesome
all the time.

Sure, I look great,
everyone respects me,

but sometimes our backs ache.

- Oh, make it long, dip it slow.

Kandy: These old guys
are pretty good.

Drita: Come on, girls.
Come on, girls.

Christine and Davina
are not far behind Tyson.

I know they do
eyeliners and sh*t,

so their hands
gotta be steady.

Come on, Christine,
I need you to beat Tyson

so I could whack
that m*therf*cker.

- Nice and easy. Stop.
[air horn blows]

- Tyson and Gervase,
back to the beginning.

- Yes!

Come on, Christine.
They had to start over.

Kandy: Christine in the lead.

[air horn blows]
Kandy: Oh, poor Tom and Tom

have not moved an inch.
Drita: Good job. Good job.

Look how fast they're going.

- Is it better if it's faster?
Kandy: Ooh.

[air horn blows]
- Oh, sh*t.

Christine, back to square one.
- Oh, my God.

- Baby, it is anyone's race
at this point.

- A lot of pressure.
- Oh, my God.

Just pay attention,
don't give up.

- You can do it.
- Are you trying to go faster?

- No, I'm not.
Kandy: Oh, baby.

Tyson, the girlies are comin',
they are right behind you.

- We're Bye Bye Bye,
NSYNC on this.

♪ Don't go ♪

- How are they doing over there?
- Okay. It's our turn.

Christine:
Slow, slow, slow, slow.

Tyson: I need you
to help me lift.

Gervase: Uh-huh.
Tyson: You good?

- Girl, you gotta go.
- Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold.

- Go a little faster.

Tyson: Nice and slow.

Let's finish it strong.

[suspenseful music playing]

[bell rings]
Kandy: Oh, baby,

we have a winner.
- Did we get it?

- f*ck.

- Let's get it!

- Yo!
- Let's get it!

- Come on!
Gervase: [inaudible]

- I won.

Gervase and I hold it off.

Combined age,
we're almost a hundred,

which should be so embarrassing
for the Toms

and for Christine, and whatever
her friend's name is.

- Tom, Christine, I am so sorry,

but it is time now
to start sucking up to everyone,

and hope and pray
that you make it past

the next banishment.

Christine: Something not good
to be on the Hit List.

I wouldn't say, like,
I'm gonna be campaigning per se,

but, yeah, I'm definitely
gonna talk with people

and just kinda see
where their head's at.

Well, I guess
it is campaigning,

but, like, you know...

- Now, everyone,

I'll be seeing you
back at the House later on

for a little party
I'm throwing you.

- What?
Tiffany: All right, now, Kandy.

Kandy: And, yes,
your friends are also invited.

- Yes.
Tom: Oh.

Tiffany: Oh, cute.
- Get the f*ck out.

Let's go. Out.
I'll see you at the House.

Bye.

Tom: Not the best situation

to be at the mercy
of people's votes.

I'm fighting
for my f*ck' life,

but it's not over.

It's time to go to work.

[tense music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

Christine: Kate's giving like
Nantucket vibe, you know.

Drita: I wish.

Christine:
She goes to Nantucket.

She gets lobsters and stuff.
Drita: You look like the--

like, hamster, like,
if you go to a...

Christine: Hamptons.

Drita: That's--what did I say?
[laughter]

- Okay. That was
an emotional rollercoaster.

Drita: I'm sorry.

Christine:
I knew what she meant.

- I'm losing my mind.
I'm hungry!

I knew it was a compliment
with your tone...

but I was waiting to understand

how hamster was a compliment.

- Ready to party?

- Hello, villains!

- Whoa!
Kandy: Look who's here!

- Oh.
- Oh, my God.

- [indistinct]
Josh: Hey, what's up,

troublemakers, we're throwing
a house party, baby.

- No way, bro. What?

Kandy brought some friends.

And they're not just
a Hit List friends,

they're actually,
like, our friends, too.

- Oh.

- What's up, cutie pie?
You look great.

- It's like a f*cked-up,
chaotic support group

for washed-up reality TV stars.

- I definitely need a drink...
- Yeah.

- ...so I can start to think.

- What's the worst
that can happen?

Tom: Hey,
what about BravoCon outfit?

Schwartz:
Dude, that's hilarious.

- Oh, my God, a Mob Wife.
How you doin'?

Nice to meet you.
- Hey.

Drita: I didn't know
you were coming.

I am so shocked.

I mean, shocked.

I can't believe
you're here right now.

You look so beautiful.

I needed to, like, see
one of my kids so bad,

and she has no idea
the power of her love,

like, what it can do.

I'm stumped right now.

I gotta concentrate.

- Stop thinking of it
and it'll come to you.

- All right.
Don't yell at me.

- I'm not.
[laughter]

Drita: This is my daughter.
- Excuse me!

Hi.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- Oh, my God.

- I could jump up and down

like I'm five years old
and I'm not kidding.

This is the best gift
I have ever received.

- Are you hungry?
- I'm starving.

- All right.
- Are you cooking?

- No, I'm not.

Christine: Let's party.

Kandy: This is what
I wanted to see.

I'm gonna have a Prosecco.

- It must've been
Tom Sandoval's idea.

- Yeah, the hot box?
- He loves a fog machine.

- Yeah.

- Congrats.

- I am so happy
to see Ben's familiar face.

Ben's like family to me
at this point.

This is it.
- The last [bleep] dinner, mate.

- That's f*cking crazy.
- I'm crazy.

You know this.
- That's why I like you.

- I know, babe.
Kate: I never know

which Ben I'm gonna get.

- I am 50 Shades of Ben, baby.
Kate: Uh-hmm.

Finally, I have somebody here

even if only for a few hours
that I can talk sh*t with.

Tom: Not bad.
Schwartz: Yeah? You're in shape?

- Yeah. I've been working out.

- Well, they're usually
intertwined.

- Next for $40...

man: Ooh.
Tiffany: A p*nis?

Ben: That is a testicle.

- I did, 'cause they asked me
first and I denied it.

- I'm so happy you're here.
- [laughs]

- I used to watch y'all
growing up as a kid.

- I know.
- [laughs]

- Not to make you feel old
or anything.

- I've known Chance
since forever.

- You got some lips already.

You ain't need mine no more.

- Chance, don't do that.
Don't do that.

Chance: Baby, you got some lips.
- No, Chance.

How you gonna do that to me, though?

- I didn't,
you did it to yourself.

- It's so good to see him,

but Chance is lookin'
like the sixth member

of the Village People.

It's not turning me on.

Ms. Kate...

- We were roommates
from the beginning.

We're like Lucy and Ethel.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Oh.
Kate: Which one

do you think is the Lucy?

- Oh, well, I--

that's a dangerous question.

[laughs]
- He thinks I'm slow.

Drita: That's my bed
and I live with Barbie.

- Yes, of course.
Aleeya: She looks like Barbie.

- She looks, acts, walks,
talks, laughs, everything.

She's Barbie.
Davina: What do you think

has been your edge here?

Christine: Honestly,
being clueless.

[laughs]
- Okay.

Christine: I have no idea
what the f*ck is going on.

Davina: You're just, like,
"That works in my favor."

- Y'all still here.
Christine: We're still here.

That's a thing.
- I like that.

- Do you answer
to Tom or Schwartz

or what's your...
- Usually, Schwartz,

but when I'm around people
I don't know that well,

Tom, I answer to.

Tom: They used to call me
Sandoval and Schwartz.

Schwartz: Or Schwartz and Sandy.

- Depending on who's hotter
in the moment?

- Uh-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah.

- If I make it
to the final three,

I think I'll win.

Tom and Tyson are cooked,

but everybody
in the house wants

to see 'em split up.

Tom is going this week.

Josh: But even
if you go with him,

it's not necessarily so bad.

- It's not, but I don't know.

- My brother, looking around...

Keep the big target in the game.

Paul: I love Josh.
We were ride-or-dies

and we made it to the end
on "Big Brother."

Don't try to get in my face, man.

- I can't stand him.
I'm tired of holding back.

Paul: Clearly, they're both
put on the block

and they wanna cause
confrontation.

So, if you wanna get all
hot-headed and say,

[bleep] you, Paul,
[bleep] you, Paul.

Weh, weh, weh. Weh, weh, weh.

Loser.

Josh: That's what he does.

He stomps around here

like he owns the place.

- And I really value
his opinion.

So, if he's telling me to keep

the boys around as targets,

then that's something that
I'd probably need to consider.

- So, you're telling me you're
about to win this one, huh?

- Look at who
I'm competing against.

- Oh, my God.
No. You're gonna cook.

You're about to cook.
- I'm gonna cook.

Chance: So you guys wanna
go back on those shows

you guys were on, man?

Tyson: "Survivor?"
- Yeah.

Tyson: Sometimes. Sometimes not.
- That's shoulda k*ll you, man.

Anybody that can go out there
and survive

is a true Stallionaire, man.

I'd give--I take my hat off
to 'em, man.

You see, I was a big fan
of that show, let me say that.

Tyson: Yeah?
- Yeah, that,

and then, that lead
to "Naked and Afraid."

- Chance does talk a lot.

- But you gotta have land.
You gotta have acres.

You gotta see big.
You gotta think big.

- He likes to impart wisdom.

- Batman hung out with those
people that turned on him,

just like the Green Gobbler and
all that, you know what I mean?

- Does that mean something?

Is that inspirational?
I can't tell.

Chance: Never forget that.

- Look at this island.

- Wow.

- And so, I have to ask

because you're still
on the Hit List.

How are you feeling?
Tom: Not great.

There are four people
that can vote.

I know I got New York.

I know I got Tyson.

But I need to keep
that tie-breaker vote

from going to Kate.

- Oh, you're in the kitchen.
Of course, you are.

- We need fresh vegetables.

- And that person I think
is Paul.

I need Paul to not vote me out.

- What you have to do now
is make fake promises.

- Well, I'm also--I can be
very honest with him, too.

- Yeah.

- Aww, thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah. Let's go.

What, you didn't want
a cheers from me?

Tiffany: Of course.
Well, you need to be filled up.

- You need to look here with it.
You need to look here with it.

You act like I came through,
like, on another level.

Tiffany: All right. All right.
- The rhythm and the bass

and the bass and the treble?
- All right. You're right.

Chance: You need to look here
with it, you know.

- Oh, God.
You need to learn eye contact.

I was like, "Stop pulling."

And you're like,
"I'm not pulling."

And I was like, "What?"

- So, what is it, like
a current or something?

- You know this is hazardous.

Kate: Uh...
- Yeah.

Kate: ...but you guys'--
- Two hour, two hour maximum.

- What is it? Let me know.

Tiffany: I am so f*cking
pissed off with you.

- With me?
Tiffany: Yeah.

- What?
- Because you're just giving

your vote to Christine.

I don't want Tom to go.

Tyson is safe,
so now my whole objective

is to make sure that Tom
is as equally safe.

I'm protecting these white men.

So, huh, you may as well
call me Pocahontas.

I want Tom here.

- Well, that...
Chance: Did you miss me?

Tiffany: Can we figure it out,
me and you later?

Paul: Later, sure.
- Can we figure it out?

Paul: I don't know.
- Am I interrupting something?

- Without me looking
stupid or crazy?

- She's over here
stirring the pot.

- I already told him.

- Oh, y'all talking
serious business?

- Yeah, no, we talking--
no, I need you in on this.

- Well, here I come.
Josh: Hold on, don't leave.

- You're very open-minded.
Paul: I am very open-minded.

- You're a man of perception.

- And not one of deception.

- I thought if you gotta decept
at this show,

you must decept
like a Decepticon.

- Who's watching our child, Ben?

[Ben laughs]

Josh: Are we going to the club?

Kandy: Going to the club.
Josh: Bravo.

Christine: There's a lot of
gaming going on tonight,

but I'm just gonna relax
and have fun at this party.

Strategy?
We don't know her tonight.

♪ Woo, get it done, ♪
♪ done, done ♪

♪ Get it done, done, done ♪

♪ Me and my girls get it ♪
♪ done, done, done ♪

- Whoo.
- ♪ Get it done, done, done ♪

- So, like, really, it's just
a dance floor in there?

[upbeat music playing]

man: Come on [indistinct]
woman: Whoo!

[upbeat music playing]

- Yeah.
Christine: That was exhausting.

[people coughing]

Tiffany: Look at Kate and Paul.

Tom might have your work
cut out for you.

How are we gonna work this?

- That maybe we can get Kate.

If Paul doesn't vote with us,

then he's gonna cause
a tie vote,

which will give the power back
to Kate to do the tie-breaker

which means we need to get
on Kate's good side.

- Everybody does.

- I know.
- So did I.

If you don't want him to go,
do you wanna go in his place?

- And I'd be fine with it.
- Okay.

So, you should volunteer
as tribute.

Be like, "I will take
your place, Tom, I'll go home."

If you feel
that strongly about it.

- Well, Kate, don't be nasty
to me because I didn't--

- I'm not. I don't--I don't--
- No, you are.

You are being nasty to me

because I didn't say it
like that.

- I don't have a vote.
- I'm just saying,

out of him or Christine,
I'm not even up.

- This is not the first time
New York's been mad at me,

but it's the first time
I haven't just taken it.

Tiffany: Well, I can't stand
that b*tch. f*ck her.

f*ck her with a long sick d*ck.

- She did not like that,

she did not see it coming,

and she did not handle it well.

- What was that all about?
Tiffany: Don't play in my face

when I'm coming to you
talking about a young man.

- [laughs]

- I didn't say I wanted
to keep him safe.

I said--I didn't say
I wanted to not keep him safe.

Chance:
Who are you talking about?

- I just said
he didn't wanna go home,

and then, the m*therf*cker's
talking about,

"Do you wanna stand
in his place?"

I'm not even up,
so that's disrespectful.

So, I don't have to f*cking

talk to you no more.
- Oh. Oh, I see.

Chance: Who the hell
are you talking about?

- Kate.
Chance: Oh.

- Oh.
Tiffany: Her. Over there.

That's who I'm f*cking
talking about.

- She's just mad that I stopped
sleeping in her bed.

Tiffany: I don't give a f*ck.

Kate: Okay.
Tiffany: This man

wants to stay safe

and that's all
I m*therf*cking said.

So for you to ask me...
Chance: Hmm.

Tiffany: ...if I wanna
stand in his place,

that's some bullshit.

- Is this really happening?
- Oh, yeah, come on.

- The family is here.

- Don't even speak to me.

I don't give a f*ck about you
staying in my room.

- We're just trying
to have a nice night.

Tiffany: Are you serious?

- They dead!

[dramatic music playing]

- They dead!

They old and dried out.
[glass clinking]

- And just like
the relationship is.

- [laughs]

- End of story
and beginning of story.

Drita: The fact that New York
can have a fight

at a family event
is incredible.

Tiffany:
It don't matter no more.

- I'm sorry you had to see this.

- 'Cause b*tches
are fake as f*ck.

- I didn't put New York
on the Hit List because...

I'm stupid. [scoffs]

- These people don't care.

- Ooh, exciting television.

So, this is what I am doing now.

Thank you for visiting.
- All right.

- This was, like,
the best surprise for me ever.

- [laughs]

Drita: It's so hard
without you guys.

- No, we miss you, too.

- And Gizelle going to college.

- Uh-hmm.
Drita: I'll be honest.

In the beginning, I was like,

"I don't think I'm gonna do good
on this show."

I was like, I can't, like, be--

like, a lion scheming
f*cking, like...

Aleeya: You can't be fake
if you tried.

- That's my problem.
Aleeya: It's not in you.

Drita: Right.
- Never was. [laughs]

Drita: Aleeya's reminding me
why I am here.

I have never done
anything alone.

I've always been
in a relationship,

I was married forever.

But now, I'm going
through a divorce,

so this is so empowering for me

because I'm doing it alone.

And I'm gonna make
my daughters proud.

- Hey, listen,
I'm manifesting you win.

woman: No, I know.

- Please manifest this win.

Kate: Schwartz,
how's the valley going?

- Uh, it's--
I'm in North Hollywood.

- Let's play a little game.
Tiffany: Thank you.

- Can we play a game real quick?

- I love games.

Kandy: Let's play a game.

I'm talking to the people
that live in this house.

Who in here
do you trust the least?

- Ooh!

[laughing]

- I thought you want
some friendly.

She said like,
"Who do you not rock with?"

Kate: I'll go first.

The person I trust
the least is Tom.

- Oh.

Tom: You really don't trust me?
Chance: Hold on, hold on.

- You really don't trust me?
Chance: Yeah, hold on.

- I have been open and honest
with Kate,

and she's gonna say
that she trusts me the least?

- Who the f*ck got a problem
with Tom? Speak now.

- I did. That's why I put him
on the Hit List. I don't...

- Oh! Lock it.
- Come on.

- She a real b*tch.
- You're mad

because you accidentally
came across the letter

and I didn't get a chance
to f*cking tell you yet.

But you had every opportunity
to not just sit there

and throw it over the balcony

and go hide under your covers

and pray for it to go away.

- Tyson put it under a chair.

- No. That was hours later.

- I'm sorry you're confused.

- And you, like, blame me for it.

I gave you a heads up.

You did nothing.

- I did nothing and I won.

And I--and then I nominated you.
- That's great.

And you're mad. That's fine.

That's great, but, like...
Kate: And I won.

Tom: ...that doesn't make me
untrustworthy, like...

Kate: What do you want from me?

- I don't know.
- I don't even vote tomorrow.

Don't--
- You're a tie breaker.

- If you're worried
I'm the tie breaker,

that was not helpful.

Nobody ever accused Tom Sandoval
of being too smart.

I'd like you to walk away now
if you don't mind.

- Let me get a drink, though.
This is the only bar.

- I'm sure you can order one
from that side.

- [sighs] Whatever, Kate.

Hey, man,
can I get a Diet Coke?

Drita: I wanna live
in a mansion like this,

but I want an elevator.

- Oh, she was a nasty b*tch.
She's a--was and still is

the nastiest person
I've ever met in my life.

- Tom.
- Yeah.

- Your last defeat
isn't your final defeat.

You got this. Yeah?

- Yeah. [laughs]

- No?
- Maybe.

- I read it on the wall
down there.

- Oh, really?
- No, I'm just kidding. [laughs]

Tom: I'm like...
[Schwartz laughs]

Tom: Look, Schwartz and I,

we're not quite as close
as we once were.

- Don't tell Tyson
I was in the Superbed.

Tom: The restaurant,
Schwartz & Sandy's

was a lot of pressure,
a lot of money,

and, you know,
it just closed down.

And it's, uh, it's been tough.

I did bring my pocket trumpet.

Schwartz:
Play something uplifting.

- But, you know,
I'll always love Schwartz

and we'll always be friends.

[off-key trumpet playing]

[jazz music playing]

[off-key trumpet playing]

[jazz music playing]

[off-key trumpet playing]

- Dude, with my eyes closed,

that felt like I was in
New Orleans at Jazz Fest.

Tom: Nice.
Schwartz: Ah, you still got it.

Tiffany: Come on.
Kandy: You want smore?

Tiffany: This is so much sugar.

I feel my hips widening.

Chance: I want this to be right
for you, too, at the same time.

So, you could catch some time,
I want you--oh, my God!

Kandy: [laughs] Oh, my God!

Drita: We're not done, but this
is, like, crunch time now.

Tyson: Yeah, but you like me
more than you did.

- [laughs]
- Well, I always--

I always liked you.
I never said I disliked you.

- No, there was a--
there was a--

are you sure?
- There's a big difference.

You're not on my team.
I love Messi.

He's one of my favorite players
of all time.

When I'm playing him,
I hate him.

- Drita, this is the most you've
opened up around me, I think.

- [laughs]
- For real.

- Man.
- Usually, I'll go in,

I'll be like,
"Hey, Drita, how's your day?

How's your morning?"
And she's like, "Good."

And then, like, walks away
or, like...

[laughter]
- And I'm like, "Okay, I tried,"

I don't know--
- 'Cause I want you out!

- Oh, okay.
[laughter]

- I love you, man.
man: Chance, what are you doing?

- I'm getting ready to get
the f*ck out this house.

- What a shame.
They have to leave.

Chance: This house of love
got people not showing love.

Oh, I said house of love,
this House of Villains.

Tiffany:
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

[indistinct chatter]
Aleeya: Bye.

- Bye.
- Take care.

Good luck. Good luck.
- Thank you.

Tyson: Thank you so much
for being here, man.

- Yeah, man. We got you.

- All in all, this party
was pretty weird,

but we got some entertainment
and some drama and fights,

even though it was
from my allies.

And now, I just have to clean up
the mess they made.

Tom: Love you all.
Tiffany: Bye. Drive safe.

Paul: What a bunch of assholes.

Tiffany: Yeah.
Paul: Come on.

Tiffany: I was thinking
the same thing, Paul.

Paul: f*cking hell.

Drita: Can someone
grab my phone?

- Dude, Josh is f*cking
awesome, man.

- He's a sweetheart
and you guys need to know

that I locked in
with Josh day one

and we made it to the end

because that's the kind
of person that I am.

- I mean, that's how you get
further is by locking in.

I think this is the best way...
- Yeah.

- ...for each of us individually
to get further.

- I am genuinely thinking
about it.

- These men are solid, Paul.
I can vouch for them.

I took that tarantula
to my face for you,

'cause I can vouch for you
in the same ways

that I can vouch
for both of these men.

- I owe you. We owe you.
You know what I mean?

- Collectively.
Tom: Collectively.

Even though tonight
was an absolute disaster,

surprisingly,
I'm feeling pretty good

about my chances of staying.

I think this is like a good move
for you in the game.

And I'm telling you, Paul...

[trumpet blaring]

- ...this is your opportunity

to not only save my f*cking a*s
and have me f*cking owe you,

but also, like,
be a f*cking hero big time.

- Wrong words. Wrong words, Tom.

"Ooh, it's gonna make you
a hero,"

on a show called
the House of Villains?

- When I talk about you,
I'll be like, "f*cking Paul,

f*cking--he f*cking
stuck up for me.

He f*cking had my back."

- You're even f*cking stupider
than I thought.

I appreciate
the frank conversation.

I'm here to be the best f*cking
Supervillain out there,

so I don't wanna be a hero.

I'm a f*cking villain.

I'm gonna think about it
and I'm gonna pull y'all.

- Yeah.
Paul: I'm gonna talk to y'all.

- Okay.
Paul: Listen,

I won't blindside anyone.

[suspenseful music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

- God, I love this door.

♪ I love my door ♪

♪ I lost my Sprite ♪

- Tom has one
of my setting powders,

but I'm just gonna let him
have it as a parting gift.

- I'm f*cking dead.

Christine and I have
a good relationship,

but I don't think she's done
any campaigning at all.

You're on the Hit List.

Hello? Did we forget?

I stink. I'mma go wash up.

- Aye, aye.

[upbeat music playing]

- Finished another Sudoku, bro.

Tom: Nice.

[laughter]

- Mr. Burns.

I'm feeling pretty confident
that Tom comes back in,

but if Tom exits,

I will make vengeance
on this house.

Meow.

You're not gonna exit
though, dude.

- Yeah.

- [laughs]

- I don't mean to beat
a dead horse,

but it's Tom, so I will.
f*ck him.

Our friends weren't involved
in the game,

so I didn't really appreciate
Tom making such a scene.

- I don't blame you.

Tom: You had every opportunity

to not just sit there
and throw it over the balcony

and go hide under your covers
and pray for it to go away.

- Yeah, it was the wrong place,
for sure.

Drita: Uh, you think?

[dramatic music playing]

- I don't feel like
you have to back.

Drita: I don't either.
I told her,

is it making her?
- But I still have to...

Kate: Yeah, do your best.
Drita: Yeah, I got you.

- ...you know, be a good,
uh, a good game player.

Last time I was up
against Jackie,

I almost went home,
so, yeah, I'm nervous,

but I don't need to a*s-kiss,

I don't need to campaign.

I'm not gonna be like Tom.

I think I have enough people
voting for me,

so I don't want them
to see me looking nervous.

- It'll be nice to get ahead of
it, 'cause you brought a lot.

Christine: Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

Christine: Still gotta be
a good sport, you know?

You know, it's very different,

like, when you live
in LA, right?

And you see all the men in LA
and you're like... [gagging]

You know... [gagging]
Like, it's just different.

They're just--
the men are different.

I'm from Texas.
They're like manly men.

Like, you know what I mean?
- Yes. Yeah.

[bell chimes]
Tom: Oh, come on, dude.

Joel: Villains,
time to get ready

for your next
Banishment Ceremony.

You have one hour.

- So then, yeah,
I got his number,

and then, we went on a date.

- Dude.
Joel: Who am I kidding?

It's Tom and Christine
up there.

I'll see you in six hours.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Tom: I've been working
my a*s off.

I feel pretty good about Paul,

but I'm gonna talk to Drita.

I'm gonna continue
working on Kate,

and I am not going to stop

until I absolutely have to,

and then,
I'm still gonna keep going.

[suspenseful music playing]

- All right,
what am I doing right now?

- Lips.
- Oh, my lips.

Tom: Please don't send me home,
Drita.

I wanna f*cking be here.

- All right, so talk to me.

- So, um...

[sighs]
I know Christine's your girl.

- I'm ready. I'm ready.

- Do you think she wants
to be here as much as you?

Tom: I--no. There's no way.

And I don't think
she understands,

like, what's going on,
like, fully.

- Let's take Christine
out of the equation.

When did you ever come up
to me, Tom,

to make an alliance?
Never.

Now your a*s is on the line
and you need me.

- I think part of her thinks
that there's not gonna be

an elimination.

- I know that someone's
definitely going home.

- Yeah.

Drita: Barbie and Ken are both

on the Hit List right now.

And tonight,
I'm gonna weaken Tyson

by chucking Ken's a*s
in the trash.

This might be a tie.

- If it's a tie,
it's going to Kate.

- How do you think
Kate feels about you?

- I don't know.
I'm gonna ask her.

Drita: Go ask her now.
- Okay.

- Get that out of the way,

'cause you don't have
a lot of time.

Tom: All right.
- Hi, Barbie.

Bye, Ken.

Thanks for making me
look pretty.

[knocks on door]

Kate: Come in.

Tom: Kate?
Kate: Hi, Tom.

Tom: Hi.

Kate: What's going on?

- Nothing. Just--

I really don't wanna go home.

If there's a tie
in the vote, it's gonna--

it's gonna come down to you.

- That's true.

- Would you rather have me here

or would you rather
have Christine?

- I'll have to think about it.

[suspenseful music playing]

Kate: I would--

- I'm doing everything
that I can.

I just--I just
don't wanna go home.

- I know you're trying so hard.
Tom: I know--

I know whatever happened, happened.

Kate: Yeah.
- Okay?

I can't go back and change it.

- You can't.
Tom: But I'm asking you

to please let me stay here.

I'm asking you.

All right, I'll see you soon.

- I could be the reason
Tom stays or goes,

and he might be useful to me
in this game.

So tonight,

he just has to give me
the best apology of his life

and convince me to keep him
in this game.

[dramatic music playing]

[bird chirping]

Tiffany:
You have my vote 1000%.

- Yeah.

Tiffany: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[chuckles]

There's a lot going on in here.

I'm not gonna lie.
Tom: I know. I know.

I feel really good right now.

f*ck.

But I'm not gonna stop trying.

Like, I am not going quietly
in the night.

- I hate this house,
I love this house.

I hate this house,
I love this house.

Paul: Bro?
- Yeah?

- Tom, Tyson, and New York have
made me a pretty enticing offer.

Not gonna lie, it's promising me
the whole world.

And I'm considering it.

Let's just see how it goes?
- Okay.

- Let's lock in after today
and have conversations, okay?

- Okay.
- And figure it out.

- Okay.
Joel: Hello, villains.

Go to the secret bookcase
that everybody knows about.

- I'm not even Supervillain,

but it seems like I have
more power right now

than everybody else
in the house.

This is f*cking awesome.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

[suspenseful music playing]

- Oh, hi.
- Hello.

- Yeah.
- Here for the party?

- Welcome. Oh, yeah.

Thank you. Yeah.
- It's Joel McHale.

- Yeah, look at you. Wow.

- Okay.
- And Tyson, great coat.

Okay, villains,
welcome back to The Stronghold

for your fourth
Banishment Ceremony.

Tonight, it's a battle

between two masters of applying
and wearing makeup.

It's Sandoval versus

whatever Christine's
last name is.

Kate, you are the Supervillain,
please take your throne.

[suspenseful music playing]

- Tom, Christine,
you are up for banishment.

Please stand in front
of your chairs.

[suspenseful music playing]

- Guys, the rest of the villains
are about to vote

to banish one of you
from the house.

It is time
to make your final pleas.

- I think we all know

who is competitive
in this house.

It is not I.

Not I have won
even one challenge,

even when I try.

- I don't know what the f*ck
Christine is saying.

Like, who died
and made her Dr. Seuss?

Christine:
I'm not good at challenges,

but I will have your back,

and I will get you waters
at night,

and make you coffee and sh*t.

That's all I got right now.

Oh, my God, I have pockets.

- Oh, hey.
- [laughs]

- It's so convenient.

- [laughs]

- Tom, if you could find
some hidden pockets

that would really tie
this whole moment together.

- [chuckles]

- Do you have a final plea?

- Look, to be honest,
like, I was not

super excited
about doing this show

like I was for "Special Forces"
or whatever,

but this is probably
my favorite experience.

Yeah. Do I think
I'm gonna win this?

I doubt it, but I really do
wanna be here, guys.

And, um, Kate, I'm sorry
for anything I've done to you,

including yelling at you
last night.

I apologize for that and, uh--

but I've really enjoyed
my time with you.

I enjoyed our outing
and overall, like,

I think you're dope.

- Thank you.

Joel: All right, everyone,

it is time to vote.

Drita, you are first up
for voting.

[suspenseful music playing]

[dings]

- Bye, Tom.

Joel: Tom, Christine,
it is time to sit

in your fancy little chairs.

- Please come back to me,
sweet baby Tom Sandoval.

[dings]

- Adios, Christine.
Hopefully I did enough work.

- There's two beauties before me,
but one had too much filler.

See you later, Christine.
[dings]

- I really hope
they vote Tom out.

- Hmm.

[suspenseful music playing]

- If I survive
tonight's banishment,

I am coming back
to the House of Villains

and I am ready to--

I don't know what I would say.

f*cking ready to...

- Yeah, that's perfect.
That's perfect.

Joel: All right, guys,
the votes are in.

The fifth villain to be banished
from the house is...

[suspenseful music playing]

- ...we don't know. It's a tie.

It is a tie.

So that means for the first time

in House of Villains history,

the Supervillain
gets to break the tie.

- We're at the point of the game

where people are starting
to think about

who they want to be
at the final three with.

So I've got Christine over here.

Christine's not made
any enemies in the house,

unlike Tom.

But if I save Tom tonight,

I don't think Tom and Tyson
are gonna separate their beds.

I'm not really sure
what I'm gonna do.

[suspenseful music playing]