Maniac (1934)

[bunniefuu]

(buzzing)

(buzzing)

(buzzing

continues)

(liquid pouring)

(with thick German accent)

Tonight, my dear Maxwell.

I'm ready to try

my experiment on a human.

Yes?

In the morgue, there is

a lethal gassed suicide.

An ideal specimen.

(screwdriver clatters)

Have you made

arrangements?

No.

You know I do not work

under prying eyes.

You will find a way for me

to work without detection.

It is your chance

to show me your gratitude

for my generosity

and protection.

I will never forget

what you have done for me

and will do anything

to help you,

but the morgue--

dead people!

Suppose we should

be caught?

How many times have you told me

of your impersonations?

That you never

had a chance?

Maybe your art

will serve you after all.

You have seen

the coroner?

Why not impersonate him?

No!

That's it!

No!

Impersonate him!

The time has come

when you can repay me

for what

I have done.

It's horrible,

I tell you!

Working

on the dead.

Trying to

bring back life!

It's not natural!

You with

your weird ideas.

Haven't I stood here

and nursed dying dogs?

Yeah.

And even

that miserable cat?

(hissing)

And for what?

For a measly roof

and food.

Because you

took me in

when I was

down and out.

Once a ham,

always a ham.

You,

an actor?

(scoffing)

But don't forget,

my dear Maxwell,

the police would be

very glad to find you.

I didn't mean

I wouldn't.

Of course not.

In time,

you may become

a great man.

This is the one--

here!

File number 26941.

Maria Alchura, 24,

suicide.

Carbon monoxide gas.

Not claimed.

Perfect.

But we'll have

to work fast.

Phew!

My gosh.

Them stiffs is gettin' heavier

and more of them every day.

Between the gangsters

and the auto drivers,

we don't need another w*r

to carry off the population.

You didn't even

mention suicides.

They even got the coroner

working overtime.

Say, did you see the beaut

that come in today?

Did I?

She's the one that has the

coroner doing the night work.

What,

special autopsy?

Must be.

I wonder who that old

Santy Claus is!

(laughing)

I must get her

out of here.

She must

have oxygen.

Unlock

the side door.

And back up

the cart.

But watch out

for the guard

and as soon as

he's out of the way,

we'll take her

out of here.

You say the corpse of

a young woman has been stolen?

Yes.

And it sure

has me puzzled.

Why, Mike thought

I took it.

I'd have swore it was

the coroner himself.

There must have been

a very strong resemblance.

Yeah, he was the dead image

of him and talked like him too.

Oh, you talked

to him.

No.

No, he was talking to

some other old fellow there

that looked like Santy Claus,

as I said to Jake.

He had whiskers and bushy hair

and his eyes was wild.

Must have been

some other two fellas.

Could you possibly identify

if you saw the party?

I wouldn't swear

to anything now,

after being so sure

of the coroner.

You know,

Mike's description

is very much like

your friend Meirschultz.

Tell me,

have you seen him

of late?

Why, Dr. Meirschultz is really

a great research scientist.

Why, he's formulated

some amazing methods

for preserving gland extracts

in the most potent state.

He's no

body snatcher.

Well, doctors

and scientists

often have some q*eer things

in their minds.

Anyway, uh,

I'll look into it.

Go easy,

Jones.

I wouldn't like

to offend the doctor.

Don't worry.

I'll do nothing

to embarrass you.

Thank you.

Captain?

What do I do

about this?

Collins.

See if you have anything there

on Don Maxwell.

Last heard from

in this city.

Uh, impersonations,

vaudeville.

Yeah.

Okay, Cap.

Let's see what we got

in our files on Don Maxwell.

With 24 hours complete rest,

she will recover.

Think of it.

Life, back in the body

that sought oblivion.

It's uncanny.

The possibilities

terrify me.

But not

one word out.

This is

but a step.

Cases like this

has the element of doubt.

What I want is a victim

with a shattered heart!

Yes, a heart!

That I can replace

with this beating thing

I have forced life

back into!

(laughs wildly)

You will get me

such a victim, Maxwell!

It will be my supreme

accomplishment!

(laughs wildly)

Not from

the morgue!

They'll get

suspicious.

I don't care

where you get it.

From the morgue, from

the streets, the undertaker.

(thud)

Get one!

The end will justify

the means.

The undertaker

around the corner.

That gangster

shot today!

Just the thing.

(door closes)

(cats hissing,

screeching)

(cats hissing

and screeching)

(hissing,

screeching)

(snarling,

growling)

Where is it?

I couldn't get it.

(panting)

Coward!

(sobbing)

Oh, you fool!

You have failed me

in the greatest moment

of my life!

(shouts angrily)

Argh!

(continues sobbing)

(laughing wildly)

(crashing,

glass and metal rattling)

I have it!

You know

my powers.

You have worked

with me.

You have faith in me.

Here,

take this.

Take it

and take your life

and I will give it

back to you.

My living beating heart

shall beat in your body

and will live

again.

Only think of it.

You will live!

(laughing wildly)

You will live!

(laughing wildly)

Live!

(g*n firing)

**

m*rder.

(disgusted)

Oh.

m*rder*r.

And of my benefactor!

Horrible.

He had so much

to give the world.

But has he?

Why should the unconscious peace

of the dead be disturbed?

Isn't the spark

that moves the maggot

the selfsame spark

that moves the man?

Preserving that spark in the

individual is not important.

What we do with the spark

while we have it is important!

In Meirschultz,

the spark is gone.

In Maxwell,

it lives.

This may

come in handy.

Nothing

can bring him back.

I'd better

hide him.

(doorbell buzzing)

Dr. Meirschultz,

please.

Why,

he isn't here.

How terrible!

It's so

very urgent!

Will you tell him

that Mr. Buckley is having

positively alarming

hallucinations.

Why, he thinks he's

the orangutan m*rder*r

in Poe's "m*rder

of the Rue Morgue".

Tell the doctor

I must have some definite help.

I'll go get him

and bring him in.

No, don't do that.

Meirschultz

would be missed.

Maxwell never would.

You're clean.

Not only do I look

like Meirschultz,

I am Meirschultz!

I will be

a great man!

**

I'll give him a shot

to relieve the nerve tension.

It may help him.

We'll try that

first.

Take off

your coat.

Super adrenaline.

No,

not that.

Ah!

Water.

That will

do no harm.

And I will be

rid of them.

(gasping)

There now.

You'll feel better.

(grunting)

Will it make--

Doctor!

He seems to be getting worse

instead of better.

(groaning)

Stealing through

my body.

Creeping

through my veins.

Pouring in my blood!

Douse the fire

in my brain!

Stabbing me.

Agony!

I can't stand

this t*rture!

This torment!

(screaming)

I can't stand it!

I won't!

I won't!

I won't--

(groaning, snarling)

(snarling,

groaning)

(screeching)

What was

in that hypo?

(growling)

(growling)

(screaming)

(snarling, growling)

(table thudding)

(snarling continues)

(Mrs. Buckley screams)

He's dead!

Doctor!

What have you done?

This looks

like m*rder.

No, no,

not m*rder.

My assistant

shot himself.

Shot himself?

When?

Why, I only saw him

an hour ago.

Why didn't you call

the police?

No,

not the police.

I wanted to bring him

back to life.

I wanted

to experiment on him.

In fact,

I must!

I can restore him.

You shot your assistant

just to experiment on him?

(Buckley snarling

and growling)

(snarling more intensely)

Dr. Meirschultz,

I have often heard

of your uncanny experiments,

but this

tops them all.

But I think we speak

the same language.

Am I right?

Well, I just don't get

what you mean, "same language".

We have

a common interest.

When you bring your assistant

back to life,

his mind will do

as you direct.

You can do the same

to Buckley,

then he will do

as I direct.

(snarling and growling)

Buckley

saw my body.

The police.

If they

should come--

I must

bring him back.

I'll find

that formula.

Kitty,

kitty.

Kitty, kitty, kitty!

Oh, hi,

Doc.

Say, a couple

of my cats got away.

You seen 'em

anywhere?

Of course not.

What would I want

with your cats?

Well,

I didn't know.

I thought, maybe, you know,

you might use 'em for--

well, some experiments

or something.

Me? Cats?

Never.

That is, I think

too much of Satan

to use cats

for experiments.

Oh, that's what

I thought, you know.

Well, no harm meant,

Doc.

Well, so long.

(Satan growling)

What am I

going to do?

The police will be here

any minute.

I must dispose

of the body.

I'll hide it.

I'll

burn it!

No, I can't do that.

The basement!

(corpse's feet

thumping down steps)

(tool clanging)

(scratching)

(brick thumping)

Satan.

The gleam!

You

wretch.

Stand between me

and salvation, will you?

(chair clattering)

(metal pan clattering)

(Satan meows)

(Satan meows)

(glass shattering)

(laughs wildly)

Why, it's not unlike

an oyster or a grape.

(laughing wildly)

But the gleam

is gone.

(laughing wildly)

(laughing)

**

(growling)

Do you know a Dr. Meirschultz

and his assistant, Don Maxwell?

Sure.

They're sort of q*eer,

I'd say.

There's lots of q*eer

goings-on up there.

Why, they even brought

a dead dog back to life once.

That sounds

very remarkable to me.

It may be,

but to my notion,

those that monkeys with

what they got no business to

gets q*eer

sooner or later.

Maybe you're right.

I know I am.

Why, I even heard a shot

up there last night.

Why didn't you

notify the police?

That's their business,

not mine.

I understand

from your neighbors

that your cats

are making noise at night.

Dr. Meirschultz

has complained.

Yeah?

Well, he's been stealing

my cats for his experiments.

I know.

I've been spying

on him.

How many cats

have you?

What's the matter--

rats?

Oh, thousands

of them.

Right here

in my backyard.

Thousands?

Yeah, I got

a thousand cats too.

Wanna see 'em?

What's the idea--

you sell 'em?

Ah, no.

It's my own idea.

(cats meowing)

I'm in

the business.

Fur business.

Oh, I see,

cats' fur!

You get it quick.

Where do the rats

come in?

Ah, you ain't as quick

as I thought.

Look.

You see, I figured out that

rats breed faster than cats.

And cats' skins

makes good fur.

Cats eat rats,

and rats eat

raw meat.

That is, they eat

the carcasses of the cats.

So the rats

eat the cats,

the cats eat

the rats

and I get

the skins.

Rats eating cats--

well, that is news!

Simple,

ain't it?

Say, by the way, did you

hear a shot last night?

Maybe.

I don't know.

**

(singing)

* Dah-doo-doo *

* Dah-dee-dah

doo-doo *

(singing continues)

Hey, Maizie, we know

you're hard-boiled.

You don't have to stay in the

water 30 minutes to prove it.

Oh, let me alone.

I may not be decent,

but I'm sure gonna be clean.

Say,

if anyone is entitled to the

first place in that bathroom,

it should be me!

Didn't I sign

the register

and welcome you all

as secret guests?

If it wasn't for

nervy little Alice,

you'd all be sinking

your weary bones

into the soft recesses

of some park bench

with a light,

fleecy coverlet

made by

the great American press.

Press?

That reminds me.

I have

pressing business!

Here's one

for the books:

"Sandwich man

pounding pavements

"walks onto a wallet

with 42 grand in it!"

I'd like

to find that man.

Maybe we could

sandwich him in.

Can you imagine?

The darn fool

turned it in.

His head must be

a jelly bean

instead of what

they thought it was.

(machine vibrating)

Well, it sure was soft

all right,

but would it be soft

to land on 42 grand!

Yeah,

but listen!

After he turned

it in,

people made such a fuss over him

that he went nutty.

Thought he was

the Almighty in person.

So that's what being honest

gets you--

a nice, soft, padded cell

in the bug house.

(singing)

* La Cucaracha,

la c*ck-roacha-- *

* Dah dee dah

da-da-da dum *

It's pretty tough.

Imagine

the poor guy.

I'll bet nobody noticed him

all his life and then--

Say, wasn't there

some guy in history

that spent all his life

looking for an honest man?

Sure, in his day,

men were men,

but today, they're too scared

to be anything but honest.

Yeah, but a brave guy

can sure get away with plenty!

Say, you must've

been reading the papers.

Or maybe you've been

drinking crazy water

and your head's

wiggly.

Be yourself, Alice.

Playing the heavy-heavy

don't suit you.

Aw, it's getting

me down.

Always broke

and never a break.

Why don't you ditch

that ham

and pick yourself

a rich husband?

(Alice)

Rich husband?

I've heard they come

that way.

Not very often.

Often enough,

but not our way.

Oh, the girl

has brains!

You don't have to put

a zipper on it

to call or prove

it either.

Alice!

Listen to this.

"Don Maxwell, personality

impersonator, gets lucky break."

Why, that's your husband,

ain't it?

Pipe down,

will you?

Let her read it.

"By q*eer quirk

of fate,

"actor fails heir

to Australian estate.

"This paper is trying

to find him.

"Used to be around

in vaudeville days,

"but we haven't heard much

of him lately."

The lucky

ham!

From now on, he'll have

the company of a good egg.

Will wonders

ever cease?

Say, I wonder if he's still

with that goofy professor.

He's inherited

a fortune!

You say a fortune?

He never spoke to me

of any rich relatives.

He hardly knew

of them himself.

I believe it was

his uncle in Australia.

I am certainly glad

to hear that.

I'm sure

he'll be pleased.

Oh, but--

don't tell him.

You see, I want to tell him

the news first.

That's only

natural.

Mrs. Maxwell, your husband

will be here at 8:00 tonight.

All right.

**

The gleam.

It was in Meirschultz's eyes

when he wanted to m*rder me.

It was

in Mrs. Buckley's eyes

when she wanted

to m*rder her husband.

Alice had the gleam in her eye

when she wanted to find me.

She'd m*rder me.

That's what she wants

to do!

I must get rid

of her.

But how?

Mrs. Buckley!

She will

help.

She

must help!

Oh, we are lost!

You are right.

But before I can get him

back here,

you will have

to help me.

Mrs. Maxwell

is crazy.

She will be here

any minute.

She thinks that

I m*rder*d her husband

and wants to turn me over

to the police.

We must keep her subdued

till I can get Buckley.

Down in the basement

is a secret vault.

We will put her

down there.

You quiet her

by jabbing this in her arm

and in the meantime,

I will go get Buckley.

It sounds

all right.

Except the fact

she's crazy.

It seems to me

she has the right idea.

So you feel

that way too.

Stay in there.

I'll call you

when needed.

At last, I've really secured

a living for us.

We can travel

or anything we want.

Then you knew

of the inheritance?

Sure.

I have one little job

to accomplish,

then we can

leave together.

No doubt you are surprised

at this disguise?

Oh, no.

I wouldn't be surprised

at anything from you.

Now, honey.

You are here in time

to help me.

I knew there was a catch

in this someplace.

Let's spill it.

In the other room,

I have a crazy woman

I've been treating.

(scoffing)

Ha ha!

So you've

been "treating"!

Quiet,

will you?

This is serious.

Our lives

are in danger.

What do you mean,

"our"?

That's what

I said.

Now listen to me.

I want you to help me

take this woman downstairs.

I'll give her

a shot,

then you take care of her

till I get help.

(fearfully)

Well, how about me

getting the help?

She's quiet now,

isn't she?

Yes, but she'll break out

any minute.

She's not afraid

of a woman,

so if she happens

to get wild,

just shove this

into her arm.

Keep it hid.

And all

will be well.

All right,

Mrs. Buckley.

We will

go downstairs now.

I have a special treatment

room there.

(door slamming)

(both screaming)

(laughing wildly)

laughter continues)

(women squeal)

(both screaming)

(laughing wildly)

(both grunting,

breathing hard)

(shrieking)

(laughing)

(police sirens wailing)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(heavy thudding)

(wings fluttering)

(shrieking)

(glass shattering)

(sirens wailing)

(laughing)

(siren winding down)

(laughing)

Look in that room,

Parker.

You come

with me, Penny.

(door opens)

I've got orders to search this

place and take everyone in it

down to headquarters

for questioning.

(screaming)

(thud)

(screaming)

What is that?

(laughing wildly)

Nothing!

A couple of my patients

having a little argument.

Take me

down there!

It won't do

any good.

There are a couple of would-be

murderesses fighting it out!

Man,

you're crazy.

What kind

of a place is this?

Oh-- I'm crazy,

am I?

Let me

tell you something.

Those women

have the gleam!

No use in

wasting time!

(grunting,

struggling)

Come on,

get going.

(women screaming)

No-- no!

(women shrieking)

(officer)

Quiet down!

(cat meows loudly

inside the wall)

(cat yowling)

What's

behind this wall?

Penny, tear

this wall down.

Murderous Satan.

The rats haven't eaten

Meirschultz entirely!

He still has

the gleam!

(laughing wildly)

(both)

Why, he's crazy!

(tool and bricks

clattering)

**

The gleam!

They drove me to it,

I tell you.

They drove me

with hunger,

with misery

and humiliation.

I only wanted to amuse,

to entertain.

But here I am.

Spent my life in

perfecting an unknown method

no one appreciates!

But...

I showed them.

Dr. Meirschultz!

A real

impersonation!

(laughing wildly)

Meirschultz!

My supreme

impersonation!