03x04 - Guess Who’s Slammin’ to Dinner?

[bunniefuu]

[knocking]

Good mor...

[panting]

Ning, Lois, are you okay?

Just give me one minute.

I just need, um... I need shoes.

Uh-huh.

-[door slams]
-Shh!

[whispering] Clark, if she
wakes up, it's gonna be all,

"Lois Lane, which of these men
have caught

the most impressive earth fish?"

"Lois Lane, what does it mean,
'Gemini do not interact?'"

"Lois Lane, assist me
in choosing

from my five billion suitors,"

and we'll never get out of here.

Hey, uh, you okay?

[sighs] Yeah.
I'm just nervous, I guess.

Nothing to be nervous about.

We'll have brunch
at your favorite restaurant...

[both] Pound Cake Palace.

And we'll talk about the future.

And it'll be fine because
we have each other and...

-Pound cake.
-Well, I was gonna say, uh,

no Super Business,
but yeah, that too.

Aw, I'll always have
my Superman.

Aw, I wanna pet the dog.
[groans]

-But no...
-[both] Super Business.

[watch beeps]

Huh.

-[watch beeps]
-[Clark] Hi, Jimmy.

Seriously?

Clark! Great.

Okay, so I'm on a date with
another W.O.R.M.S. scientist.

-Of course you are.
-Wha... Jimmy.

I got turned into
a wolf-man once.

Why must we generalize?

Then why are you calling?

Well, my date seems great.

Really accomplished...
[giggles] from Coast City,

-has two sisters...
-[Lois groans]

but she also brought
a bunch of suspicious vials.

So I was wondering...

-Ahhh!
-[Lois grunts]

[magical music playing]

[waiter] Your
quarter-pound cakes.

[sighs] You know,
dodging Kara and Jimmy

and making it
to a real actual date.

We're a pretty good team,
Smallville.

We are.

You and me, we can handle

anything the future
throws at us.

[suspenseful music playing]

Mmm.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Have we ordered yet?

Uh...

[opening theme music playing]

Wow, have you guys
read this thing?

How do you even decide?

What do you guys usually get?

You're right, we should just
get one of everything.

Clark, what do we do?

[bell dings]

Say something.

Um, hi.

So...

-When you said, "Mom..."
-"And Dad..."

What did you mean by that?

Yeah, what? what
did you mean by that?

Oh, yeah. Sorry. No, no,
it's me, your son, Jon.

From the future.

Future?

This is so... slammin'!

You guys are so young.

[hesitates] What do you guys do?

Like, where do you hang out?
What's your favorite movie?

And why do you wear glasses?

Ooh, what's this?

Wha... How'd you...

I saw it in your jacket.

X-ray vision.

I got it from Dad.

I'm a great pickpocket.

[groans]

If you... Then how...

Then... why are you...

-You will not believe...
-Ow!

The morning I've had.

-Hey, Uncle Jimmy.
-Hi. How you doing?

So, as you can see,

my date did end up
having some quirks.

So now you're gonna have
to take me to S.T.A.R. Labs.

Jimmy, it's not the
the best time.

Oh, okay. I'll just walk around
like a porcupine man forever.

-Ow. Jimmy.
-Sorry.

You know, this never
would have happened

if you hadn't hung up on me.

-[groans]
-Lois Lane.

I appear to have received
so many messages

from potential suitors that
the app no longer functions.

How does one... [gasps]

-[magical music playing]
-[Kara] Wow.

This culture, it is so rich.

Who are you?

Yeah. Wait.
What did you call me?

I'm Jon Kent.

I'm their son.

[sighs wearily]

-What?
-Okay, but...

-Is this true?
-how...?

I'm from the future.

You're my Uncle Jimmy.

And you're my Aunt Kara.

-You are... Kryptonian?
-I'm... an uncle?

-You're from the future?
-Yes!

-Kal-El, be proud...
-Do you know what this means?

-Our bloodline...
-Four best friends for life!

[Kara] ...has prospered!

[Jimmy] What's the future like?

[Kara] Jon-El, I will teach you
many things about this Earth...

[Jimmy] Wait, did you say
you broke the dating app?

-Ow! That's it!
-[waitress] Ah!

Sorry? [chuckles nervously]

Can we please get that to go?

[Jimmy] Ow, ow, ow.

Hey, what's this?

Ooh, that's an
invisibility vest. Ow.

Ahh. What about this?

-[Jimmy] That can... Ow!
-What are you guys doing?

Ooh, Can I touch this?

I'm touching it.

Maybe we should get him outside.

-[gasps]
-I love outside.

-Ow, ow, ow, ow.
-Unexplained geological

tremors have been reported
around the city.

More on this story
as it develops.

[blows raspberry] Unexplained.

I've been saying
for years it's...

Ow!

I'm sorry
if I came on too strong.

I'm just so excited to be here.

It's all right... kiddo.
[chuckles awkwardly]

-[chomps]
-Kiddo?

You're just gonna
take his word for it?

Lois, he's a flying pickpocket.

But time travel, Clark?
Don't you need more evidence?

[both chomp, slurp]

-Not... really?
-No.

I'm... a mom?

Oh, this can't be happening.
I can't be someone's mom.

Do I look like someone's mom?

-Well...
-Don't answer that.

This is fine. I just I need to,
uh, I have to, uh...

[beeps]

Work! I have to work.

Questions need answering.

Can I go to work with you?

Can I? Can I?

Can I? Please.

Why are you here, Jon?

Jon-El, your mother must work.

But you and I can spend

traditional family
time together.

Would you like to train,
Grapple or spar?

Um...

Or maybe Jon just wants to
do, you know, normal stuff?

Ah, yes. I know what is normal.

[Lois groans] This again.

[TV reporter] Hank Henshaw,
once decorated,

adulation, lionized.

What has become
of that American hero

Hank Henshaw mission
was once to lead humanity

to a brighter tomorrow.

They're scared of you, Hank.

[TV reporter] But now, in a
super-powered cyborg body,

should he be pitied or feared?

[Lois on TV] That man is gone.

Hank is not our hero.

I'm not sure there's
any coming back,

but Hank is not our hero,
not our hero, not our hero.

[screams in anger]

[upbeat music playing]

I don't know if it says,
"Jon Kent..."

But it does say, "Superboy!"

You're right.

[gasps]

They have shoes with wheels?

♪ Superboy, Superboy ♪

♪ Superboy, Superboy ♪

♪ Superboy, Superboy ♪

♪ Superboy, Superboy ♪

[both laugh]

[squeaks]

[laughs] Uncle Jimmy's got it.

Does he?

Another tremor?

[people screaming]

[crying]

[snaps]

Look out!

[thuds]

[gasps]

[triumphant music playing]

[kid laughing]

[Lois] Just like Clark.

But why are you here?

Whoa. Easy there, Fido.

Henshaw, we agreed you'd keep

to your quarters
until further notice.

[beeps]

That's exactly why I'm here.

I wanted to apologize.

I see.

Go on.

What occurred yesterday
was totally unacceptable.

A good commanding officer
knows how

to get his people back in line.

And... you did exactly that.

You were right
to remind me who's in charge.

Me.

[laughs] Yes.

Yes, you.

Uh, I owe you my life.

And I will never forget it.

-[Lex] Again.
-[Hank] Hmm?

You'll never forget it...

again.

[tense music playing]

[scoffs] Affirmative.

All right, Henshaw.

Glad to see
you've come to your senses.

Told you he'd come around.

They always do.

You can't be serious.

You actually bought that act?

It's not an act.

A firm hand never fails
with these types.

I am that type.

He tried to k*ll me yesterday.

[Lex] Look, that was a blip.

[Wilson] A blip?

[Lex] Yes, Slade.

Time to move on.

Great. So what's next?

Carousel? Food court...
Pet store?

What now?

Oh, no.

Perry's calling.
[laughs awkwardly]

-[Perry on call] Lane? Lane!
-Yes, boss. Uh-huh.

Right away. Yeah. [chuckles]

Sorry, sorry. Gotta work.

But you guys can, you know...

You've got to show me
the Daily Planet.

Please.

Uh, you wrote, "Who."

-It's, "Whom."
-I need some air.

[slurps]

Look at us.

Five best friends.

[Kara] Jimmy Flamebird,

take a photograph of me
in front of this globe

for my dating profile.

-[spits]
-I'll take it for you, Kara.

But Jimmy Flamebird always
takes the best pictures of me.

And the dating
was his idea. So...

Okay. Okay.

[Clark] What about one
where you're holding the globe

-in your hand like...
-[Kara] Like this?

[Clark] Oh, No, no, no, no.

-Not-Not what I meant.
-[metal clanks, thuds]

-Not what I meant.
-[both chuckle]

You, uh, ordered
the spicy too, huh?

Must get it from you.

Mom.

-[splashes]
-[glass shatters]

Mom!

[somber music playing]

Oh, Jon, you're great.

You're super.

It's just...

it's not every day your kid
from the future

stops by to say hi.

Oh, I get it.

This is probably not how you
thought your day was gonna go.

Oh, [hesitates] it's not that.
It's...

[sighs]

The future is just coming,
and I can't stop it.

Like, no matter what choices
I make, I'm already locked

into something I can't control.

I don't believe in fate.

What's coming is ours to shape.

Plus, you have to listen to me.

I'm from the future.

What happens
in your future, Jon?

Why are you here?

[violent roar]

[explosions]

[both gasp]

Hey, Aunt Kara.

Can I take this one?

You know, just me and Dad.

Uh, yes.

Yes.

Thanks.

[gasps]

[sighs in relief]

We're locked on the roof.

Hey, Birdwatchers, drop your
lock picking tips below.

[screeches]

[roars]

Oh. That's what was
causing those tremors.

I-I thought the past
was just wobbly.

-Um, Dad.
-Sorry, yeah.

Just, uh,

what else does Jimmy
write about?

What you don't know
about the Subterranosauri?

-You do?
-Uh, yeah, of course.

They're super cool.

They're very,
very reasonable guys.

I'll have this wrapped up
in, like, five minutes.

[people screaming]

-Yeah, I-I don't think, uh...
-I got this. Trust me.

Krull!

Hey, guys.

Uh, I'm Superboy.

-That's Superman.
-Hi.

Uh, what seems to be
the problem here?

Krull!

-Huh.
-Jon, um...

Don't worry.
Hang on, our friend here

just doesn't speak
English very well.

Now, -Jon...

My Subterranosauri

is a little rusty,
but I can take a swing...

Krull!

[thuds]

Not now, Hank. I'm busy.

[Hank] Make time.

I'm sorry.

Didn't we just have a chat
about who's in charge here?

We sure did.

But, uh,

I remembered something
you forgot.

This little thing
called a food chain.

And where you fall in it.

That's two strikes, Hank.

Don't let there be a third.

Oh, there won't be.

[beeps faster, blasts]

[Lex screams]

[panting]

[computer beeps]

[grunts]

[glass shatters]

[grunts]

[thrilling music playing]

Slade? Slade!

Just a blip, right, Lex?

We're gonna do this now?

I'm not doing anything.

[grunts]

[groans]

Hank, Hank, we can
work this out.

[hesitates] You want
more autonomy?

You can get it.

I want my life back.

You made me this...

-this monster. This freak.
-Hank.

You want to talk about
who did this to you?

Who took everything away?

It's...

the aliens.

I saved you.

I gave you a life.

You don't want to punish me.

You want to punish Superman.

He's the one who did this.

I won't try to stop you.

In fact, I'll help you.

Going forward.

-We...
-There is no we.

[glass breaks]

Remember the food chain.

[Superman] Jon,
are you all right?

That was wild.

Yeah, the dinosaur people.

No, no. I mean,

they're supposed
to be humanity's allies.

-Why are they being so mean?
-[people screaming]

You get everyone to safety.

I'll handle the... dinosaurs.

[blows]

Back up. Back up, I said.

-I said, "Stay back!"
-Jon, be gentle.

You can't help them
if they don't feel safe.

[shrieks]

[whimpering]

Hi there. I'm Jon.

-I'm gonna get you out of here.
-[crying]

Scared of heights?

No problem.

[shrieks]

[girl laughing]

Krull!

[grunts]

[groaning]

[crashes]

Huh?

[huffs]

[growls]

Krull!

Dad.

-That was so...
-[both] Slammin'!

[roars]

Cower before me,
flying surface dweller.

You speak... English?

Silence.

For it is I, Tyrannko,
Prince of the Subterranosauri.

My people have suffered at
the hands of the surface world.

Humanity has dug too far
and drilled too deep.

That ends today.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Your Eminence.

I beg your forgiveness.

I have traveled here
from the future

where man and Subterranosauri
live in harmony.

-Side by side, hand in claw.
-[growls]

Please believe me when I say...

that together we can make
prejudice extinct.

[emotional music playing]

[growls]

-[triumphant music playing]
-[people cheering]

So this, uh, "hand-in-claw"
future, was that all true?

Yeah. We've been friends

and allies for,
like, 20 years or so...

Wait. What if... Oh, wow.

I'm the guy who made peace
with the Subterranosauri!

Oh, slammin'! Time travel rocks.

What?

This is what Superman
fights for.

A better tomorrow.

[chuckles] I think that's enough.

Super Business for one day.

I know just where we can
get you all patched up.

I cannot believe I missed out
on the dino men.

Real dino men.

Okay, We'll tell you
all about it over dinner.

Urth Ketch! Yes, Jonathan Kent.

I will teach you
how to Urth Ketch.

That's okay, you guys can play.

I'm gonna help Mom out
with her story.

What did you say the name
of the leader was again?

"Tyrinkis?"

[clears throat] Uh, "Tyrannko."

Right. And how's that spelled?

[keyboard clacking]

Thanks. So, uh,
what do you think?

-It's slammin'.
-Really?

Yeah. Well, I'm not
surprised, though.

You're really just
how I always imagined you.

You... imagined me?

Yeah, I, uh,

you know...

Looking for this?

I'm a pretty good
pickpocket myself.

[both chuckle]

Nice.

Yeah, I know it's weird
to find out

that you're a mom
all of a sudden, but, um...

thanks for today.

I really needed it.

Yeah.

I think I did, too.

If he's our future,

then it's better than I ever
could have imagined.

Yeah, maybe it won't be so bad.

Kal-El, come! Now!

[people screaming on TV]

[thrilling music playing]

[man screaming]

[music intensifies]

Superman.

See how they run from me?

They used to love me.

They used to cheer my name.

Now they shriek it.

You want to be this city's hero?

Come and fight for it.

[Jon] I thought
I'd have more time.

More time for what?

Jon,

why are you here?

Where I come from...

Dad is dead.

You both are.

I was sent back
in time to save you.

Save everyone.

Save us from what?

[Jon] From him.

[dramatic beat]